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What to Expect When You’re Expecting an Empty Nest May 20, 2013

Show notes

What happens to a marriage when parents must begin to prepare for an empty nest?

When parents start to prepare to send their son or daughter off to college they are not only helping to ease the transition into college life for their child, but also paving the way for their own next steps… of marriage and an empty nest, that is. But many families aren’t exactly aware of the challenges that arise with big transitions and changes, and therefore they’re not as proactive as they could be.

Sometimes a couple isn’t really clear on the parenting roles that are played with kids in college. When this is the case, it’s easy for parents to be on different pages– and they might not have a solid plan for how they will respond to different crises and critical issues. With a little guidance, however, it can be easy and uplifting for a couple to get back to a positive place; a place where they successfully parent and maintain a long-standing marriage as a team.

Today’s guest is Dr. Susan Orenstein, the director of Orenstein Solutions. Susan says couples can fix these issues by working together to create plans for the expected and the unexpected. An empty nest doesn’t have to be a bad thing… it can, in fact, be just the beginning.

To find out more about Susan and her practice, visit their website or call (919) 968-8586

Third Time’s a Charm: The Truth About Multiple Marriages May 13, 2013

Show notes

What’s the real story behind multiple marriages?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the current marriage rate is 6.8 per 1000 people. Not so shockingly, the current divorce rate is 3.4. This means that, right now, 50 percent of marriages are ending in divorce. And with half of all marriages ending in divorce, more and more people are finding themselves remarried and categorized as multiple marriers.

We’re talkin’ two, three, four and even five marriages. Maybe more. What are the facts behind these kinds of situations? What are the statistics and how does the multiple marriage pattern become established in the first place? Oftentimes, serial marriers are perceived by society in a relatively negative or less respectable manner… but why? What has really become the most interesting is the expectations that surround marriage and family life.

Today’s guest is a multiple marrier herself, Pam Evans. While Pam serves as the senior director in the high tech sector of a Fortune 1000 company, she also doubles as an author and public speaker on the subject of multiple marriages. She has not only been featured on the Bay Area Independent Publishers List, but also on last summer’s Top 12 Book Pick List on “Spirited Woman.” She’s here to discuss the myths and truths of being a serial marrier.

To find out more about Pam and her adventures as a multiple marriage expert, check out her book Ring EXchange and visit her website.

The Importance of Team Parenting May 06, 2013

Show notes

Are you and your partner on the same team when it comes to parenting?

When two people get married, there are natural stressors that become apparent. When a child enters the picture, and there’s now parenting involved, certain marriage stressors are intensified. Let’s face it– there’s no manual for parenting. And while raising happy, healthy and confident children is the ultimate goal, there’s a lot of pressure that comes with it.

If a couple is frequently arguing about how to parent, much stress is added to the family unit and everyone ends up being miserable. If there’s constant bickering back and forth about logistics, there’s no room to create an atmosphere of warmth and support. Instead, there becomes an antagonistic way of interacting that puts everyone in the family on edge.

Today’s guest is Dr. Gabrielle Johr, a licensed clinical psychologist with Orenstein Solutions. Gabriella says the key to good parenting is team parenting, which means unfailingly supporting one another and bringing out the best in each other. And once the team mentality has been established, both parents become a model for cooperation and parenting becomes a little easier.

To find out more about Gabriella and her practice, visit their website or call (919) 428-2766 to schedule an appointment.

Building Trust in Your Marriage Apr 22, 2013

Show notes

In a marriage, what are the building blocks of trust?

According to the dictionary, trust is defined as “the assured reliance in the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” Having it is a critical factor and also the main foundation for any relationship, whether it’s a friendship, a parent-child relationship, or a marriage. Once trust is broken and an individual no longer feels that he or she can rely on their partner, the bond of faith can be very challenging to repair and rebuild.

Within a relationship, trust issues can stem from a multitude of problems–anything from emotional or physical affairs and hidden addictions to secrecy and lying. However, more subtle behaviors from spouses like constantly being late, being unreliable, or being insensitive can also shake the foundations of trust and honesty.

Today’s guest, Dr. Sara Salter of Wynns Family Psychology in Cary, NC, says the way to build strong, lasting trust within your marriage is to focus on certain specific factors including communication, openness and empathy. In addition to those, Sara has other important pointers and tips on how to build and maintain an unbreakable level of trust within your marriage.

To find out more about Sara and her practice, visit their website or call (919) 467-7777 to schedule an appointment.

Fitness and Marriage Apr 15, 2013

Show notes

Does physical fitness really play a part in maintaining a healthy and happy marriage?

These days, people’s lives are increasingly busy. Most waking moments are spent working full-time jobs, keeping up with household chores, and taking care of pesky responsibilities. At the end of the day, many couples feel too tired to do anything other than eat dinner, maybe watch some television, and go to bed. The problem, however, is that this leaves little time to care for and nurture the relationship which leads to a lack of communication, decreased sexual intimacy, and an overall lack of enjoyment in the marriage.

The good news is that there are ways to change the course of the marriage and improve it overall. And one of these ways is for couples to engage in outdoor or physical fitness activities with each other. With the spring season, in all its beautiful glory on the way, there is a plethora of fun activities and events that can be utilized. What better way to feel good than to soak up some sunshine?

Today’s guest is Colette Segalla, a psychologist with Lepage Associates who has worked with diverse populations of couples, families, and individuals. She says that better physical fitness can bring increased vitality to the relationship and improve both mental and sexual health.

To find out more about Colette and her practice, visit their website or call (919) 572-0000 to schedule an appointment.

Don’t Be a Stepmonster! Apr 08, 2013

Show notes

Is there a way to gain respect from your stepchildren without turning into an evil stepmonster?

We’ve all heard the famous stepmonster horror stories… like that of the workings of Lady Tremaine, Cinderella’s wicked stepmother. And they don’t turn out well… for the stepmoms, that is. Luckily it doesn’t have to be that way in real life. You, in fact, can have wonderful relationships with your stepchildren without overstepping your boundaries but while also maintaining a level of respect and admiration.

In many situations, couples that are married for the second (or even third) time find themselves bringing children into the mix and wondering how to raise and guide the children when there’s more than two parents involved. Oftentimes there are many unrealistic expectations placed on stepfamilies that can lead to a chaotic family life and destruction of the relationship between husband and wife.

Today’s guest is Claudette Chenevert, author of 31 Days to Better Communication for Stepfamilies. Also known as the Stepmom Coach, Claudette is a Master Certified Stepfamily Foundation Coach helping families and stepmoms gain a better understanding of how to manage stepfamily life.

To find out more about Claudette and her work as the Stepmom Coach, visit her website or call (703) 915-2470 for one-on-one coaching.

How to Argue and Save Your Marriage Apr 01, 2013

Show notes

Is there a right way and a wrong way to argue?

The answer is yes. And the secret’s out. There is a right way and a wrong way to argue. Oftentimes when couples fight, it becomes husband versus wife, him against her. The issue with that, however, is that the entire sense of the “team” attitude within the couple gets lost in the mess.

With a relationship it’s not about not getting angry or not disagreeing because that’s unrealistic. The true key is staying emotionally connected to someone you view as a teammate in a generally positive way. According to relationship expert John Gottman, there are two types of problems within relationships: resolvable and perpetual; and two out of three problems are perpetual. Luckily, there are conflict resolution skills for each kind of problem that couples can learn and use to ultimately strengthen their marriages.

Today’s guest is Erica Blystone, a licensed clinical social worker with Lepage Associates. After more than 10 years of clinical work with adults, couples, children and families, Erica has seen her fair share of conflict within relationships, and she says there is a way to manage it effectively.

To find out more about Erica and her practice, visit their website or call (919) 572-0000 to schedule an appointment.

Thinking Outside the Box: Using Creativity to Strengthen Your Marriage Mar 25, 2013

Show notes

Are you and your partner thinking outside the box when it comes to your relationship?

Say you’ve been married for 20 years… Or maybe even just two years… Is the relationship still fun and fresh? Are you and your partner getting the most out of your marriage? Sometimes couples that have been together for many years begin to feel a sense of staleness in their relationship. Maybe they have ongoing conflict and difficulty resolving it, or maybe they simply feel like they’ve lost the passion and excitement they once had.

When this happens to a couple, whether they’ve been together for 20 years or two years, the partners begin to grow apart and disconnect from each other. And to fix the ongoing problem, many couples end up forcing a solution by pushing harder and ultimately doing the same thing over and over again.

Interestingly, the solution to all this is far more attainable than most people think.

Today’s guest is Dr. Susan Orenstein, the Director of Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC. Susan says couples can reignite their passion and start having fun again simply by thinking outside the box. By doing even just one thing differently. And if you’re thinking you can’t do it– think again. Susan is here to share some of her creative and inspiring ideas for how couples can improve and strengthen their marriages.

To find out more about Susan and her practice, you can visit their website or call (919) 428-2766 to schedule an appointment.

The Post-Wedding Marriage Mar 18, 2013

Show notes

We had our wedding, we had our honeymoon… Now what?

Think about your wedding day. Whether you’ve had it, or it hasn’t happened yet… Oftentimes, and especially in a society like ours, there’s a lot of pressure to make the wedding day perfect. To make sure everything is in order, to make sure the dresses are ready and the suits are pressed, to make sure the flowers will be beautiful and that all the guests will leave thinking, “hey, that was a really good time!”

But what about after the wedding? What happens when the guests have gone home, the party’s over and it’s just you and your new partner left with each other? Unfortunately, too many people spend a lot of time preparing for the wedding and not a whole lot of time thinking about what comes after- like how to actually make the marriage work successfully on a daily basis.

Today our guest is Kelly Saylor, a licensed professional counselor associate and marriage and family counselor associate with Healing Solutions Counseling Center in Charlotte, NC. According to Kelly, one of the most important things a married couple can do to help their relationship grow is to nurture the basic friendship they have with each other and the admiration they have for each other.

To find out more about Kelly and her practice, visit their website or call (704) 944-5530 t0 schedule an appointment.

If you and your partner are considering premarital or marital counseling, be sure to check out Healing Solutions’ programs here.

Sleeping Habits and Marriage Mar 13, 2013

Show notes

Are your sleeping habits affecting your marriage?

We all know sleep is important for our health. But how many of us really take into consideration the effects that a lack of sleep can have on not only our physical health, but our mental and emotional health as well? The sleeping habits that we enlist (or don’t enlist) can actually have an affect on nearly every aspect of our lives, including relationships and marriage.

For couples dealing with sleepless nights, or nights consisting of less-than-sound sleep, life and managing a marriage can be a little more difficult. What many people don’t consider is that there are many different types of sleep disorders that can ultimately effect your well being and the well being of your spouse.

Today we’re talking with Brent Brandow, Director of Operations for the Parkway SleepHealth Center in Cary, NC. According to him, sleep—or a lack thereof—has more of an impact on our daily lives and relationships than people might think. With a little diligence though, every problem can be fixed.

The Parkway SleepHealth Center is a comprehensive sleep health center that provides sleep physician consultations, diagnostic testing and treatment services for more than 80 sleep disorders, including sleep apnea, narcolepsy, and insomnia.

To find out more about the Parkway SleepHealth Center, visit their website or call (919) 462-8081 to schedule an appointment.

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What happens to a marriage when parents must begin to prepare for an empty nest?

What’s the real story behind multiple marriages?

Are you and your partner on the same team when it comes to parenting?

In a marriage, what are the building blocks of trust?

Does physical fitness really play a part in maintaining a healthy and happy marriage?

Is there a way to gain respect from your stepchildren without turning into an evil stepmonster?

Is there a right way and a wrong way to argue?

Are you and your partner thinking outside the box when it comes to your relationship?

We had our wedding, we had our honeymoon… Now what?

Are your sleeping habits affecting your marriage?

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