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    Comedy

    Something’s Burning

    Bert Kreischer invites his favorite comedians, actors and musicians into his kitchen to cook for them

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2023

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    Latest Episodes:
    S1 E24: Rapport with Whitney Cummings and Michael Rapaport Jul 02, 2024
    Show notes

    On this blast from the past episode, Whitney Cummings and Michael Rapaport stop by for homemade pizza. I also get a lesson on why washing hands is important AND how to spell Michael’s name correctly. And Whitney’s reminding everyone that strong women STILL belong in the kitchen.


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    Platter Pizza


    Ingredients:

    4 Cups Italian tipo “00” flour or bread flour

    2 tsps. kosher salt

    1 tsp active dry yeast

    1 ½ cups water

    Cooking spray

    1 can whole peeled Italian tomatoes

    4 tbs olive oil


    Toppings:

    Roasted Garlic

    Green Peppers

    Pepperoni

    Onions

    Basil Leaves

    Black Olives

    Green Olives

    Red Peppers

    Fennel

    Buffalo Mozzarella



    Dough Steps:

    1. Combine flour, salt, and yeast

    2. Add water to mix then knead dough

    3. Cover bowl tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 8 hours

    4. Divide dough into 4 sections into oil covered bowls, let sit at room temperature for 2 hours to rise



    Sauce Steps:

    1. Pulse tomatoes through food processor



    Assemble Pizzas:

    1. Stretch out dough ball on floured surface

    2. Spread sauce, basil leaves, and olive oil onto dough

    3. Add Toppings

    4. Bake at 475 degrees for 5-7 minutes

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    S3 E25: My Real Bros, Jimmy Tatro and Christian Pierce Jun 25, 2024
    Show notes

    Real Bros Jimmy Tatro and Christian Pierce stop by the kitchen for a deep dive on their new movie, the top five coolest actors, and if they could see themselves getting caught up with the Capitol stormers. I am also making a polenta board with three different toppings AND we’re sampling Por Osos, like good friends, and bros, would.


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    POLENTA PARTY


    Ingredients:

    1 package ground corn meal

    12 cups Water

    Butter

    Grated parmesan

    ½ cup Mascarpone cheese

    4 Large peppers

    2 white onions

    olive oil

    4 italian sausages

    chili flakes

    2 lbs fresh mushrooms

    1 tbsp soy sauce

    Garlic

    ½ cup chardonnay

    1 tbsp dry thyme

    2 cups fresh basil

    ½ cup pine nuts



    Polenta Steps:

    1. Bring water to boil and add corn meal. Let simmer for 30-40 minutes

    2. Remove from heat and add 1 cup grated parmesan and mascarpone and ¼ cup butter


    TOPPINGS:


    Spicy sausage and peppers Steps:

    1. Cut sausages and cook in pan

    2. Cook onions until clear then add peppers to pan

    3. Add sausage back to pan and cook altogether for another 3 minutes


    Mushrooms in White Wine Sauce

    1. Cook 2 cloves of garlic in 1 tbsp butter and 1 tbsp olive oil

    2. Add mushrooms to pan. Once cooked halfway, add soy sauce, thyme, and wine cooking until it is all absorbed.


    Basil Pesto Sauce

    1. Toast pine nuts

    2. In a food processor, add toasted pine nuts, basil, ½ cup oil, 3 garlic cloves, and ½ cup parmesan until combined

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    S1 E23: McKoy Burgers & Sake Bombin’ with Jo Koy and Heather McDonald Jun 18, 2024
    Show notes

    Heather McDonald and Jo Koy stop by the kitchen – and I’m mashin’ up their names for inspiration. Meet the McKoy. There’s nothing like sushi burgers and sake bombs to help carry the conversation. And it only took me until the end to realize… sushi is Japanese – and Jo is Filipino. Oops.


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    McKoy/Bert Sushi Burgers


    Ingredients:

    1 tbsp bakers sugar

    1 tbsp rice wine vinegar

    1 tbsp mirin

    Pickled cucumber

    Kewpie mayo

    Sriracha

    Tuna

    Wasabi Paste

    Salmon

    Avocado


    Sticky Rice

    1. Combine bakers sugar, rice wine vinegar, and mirin in a bowl

    2. Mix into cooked white rice


    Special Sauce for burgers:

    1. Mix to taste: Kewpie mayo, sriracha, chopped pickled cucumber


    McKoy/Bert Sushi Burger

    1. Chop tuna into fine pieces and mix with wasabi paste and mayo, then form into patties

    2. Chop salmon into fine pieces and form 3 patties

    3. Mold sticky rice into patties, fry, and top with sesame seeds

    4. Assemble the burgers and add a layer of avocado

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    S3 E24: My Last Resort With Papa Roach Jun 11, 2024
    Show notes

    All four members of Papa Roach swing by the kitchen to reminisce about when we were in Australia together… and I make ‘em a meal to help bring back the memories of Down Under. We chat about touring with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, getting sober, bus-life, and of course – music. Plus, I get a private, impromptu concert like no-one’s ever heard.


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    MEAT PIE AND OYSTERS KILPATRICK


    Oysters Kilpatrick:

    Ingredients:

    1 TBS Worcestershire Sauce

    ¼ Balsamic Vinegar

    2 TBS unsalted butter

    1-2 Dashes Tabasco Sauce

    2 Slices Bacon

    12 shucked Oysters


    Steps:

    1. Heat and combine Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, butter and tobacco

    2. Cook Bacon slices

    3. Set oysters in pan, top with sauce and bacon, broil for 1 minute



    Meat Pie:

    Ingredients:

    1 medium onion

    1.5 LBS ground beef

    1 1/4c water

    2 ½ tsp superior touch better than bouillon beef base

    1/3 c ketchup

    1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

    1 tsp oregano

    ¼ tsp garlic powder

    ¼ c flour

    ¼ c water

    1 sheet Pillsbury pie sheet

    1 sheet puff pastry

    1 egg


    Steps:

    1. Cook and combine onion and meat

    2. Dissolve bouillon in 1 cup water, add ketchup, sauce and seasonings and bring to boil. Simmer for 15 minutes. Add in flour and bring to boil once again.

    3. Spoon meat and sauce into pie sheet

    4. Top with puff pastry and bake at 375 for 35-40 minutes

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    S1 E22: Comedy Store Stories with Sources Rick Ingraham & Eleanor Kerrigan Jun 04, 2024
    Show notes

    Inside sources from the Comedy Store, Rick Ingraham and Eleanor Kerrigan, are spillin’ secrets about their time working there – and plenty of names are being dropped (think – Ari Shaffir). And, while I fry up some Mac and Cheese Balls and cook corn dogs, we also talk about fist fights, losing our virginity, and what era of time made the best meals…


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    Recipe: Deep-Fried Mac and Cheese Balls with Waffle Iron Corn Dogs


    Mac and Cheese Balls:

    Ingredients:

    4 TBS butter

    2 TBS flour

    2 Cups Milk

    1.5 LBS shredded cheddar cheese

    1 TSP Frank’s Red Hot

    ½ TSP mustard powder

    ¼ garlic powder

    2 eggs

    Panko


    Steps:

    1. Cook macaroni

    2. Combine cooked mac with 2 TBS butter

    3. Heat 2 TBS butter with flour then add milk

    4. Add cheese into sauce mixture

    5. Add hot sauce, mustard powder and garlic powder to sauce

    6. Add noodles into sauce

    7. Dredge noodle balls into beaten eggs, then into panko

    8. Deep Fry mac and cheese balls



    Waffle Iron Corn Dogs:

    Ingredients:

    Corn muffin mix

    1 egg

    ½ cup sour cream

    ½ cheddar cheese

    2 TBS chives

    Hot Dogs


    Steps:

    1. Combine corn muffin mix, egg, sour cream, mix well, then add cheese and chives

    2. Cut hot dogs

    3. Pour batter into waffle iron, place hot dogs into batter, then add more batter




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    S3 E23: Hot, Fluffy & Uncomfortable w/ Sean Evans and Gabe “Fluffy” Iglesias May 28, 2024
    Show notes

    Sean Evans of Hot Ones and Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias pop over to my kitchen for a very “on topic” meal of Fluffy Japanese Pancakes and Nashville Hot Chicken Fried Steak. We talk about how we spent our first “big” paycheck, the fact that I was Hot One’s first celebrity guest… and Fluffy’s record-breaking show at Dodgers Stadium. Plus Fluffy’s got a surprise for me that I absolutely didn’t see coming.


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    Nashville Hot Chicken Fried Steak w/ Japanese Fluffy Cakes


    Japanese Fluffy Cakes


    Ingredients:

    * 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour

    * 3 TBS granulated sugar

    * 2 TSP baking powder

    * ¼ TSP baking soda

    * ¾ TSP kosher salt

    * 1 1/4cups buttermilk at room temperature

    * 4 TBS butter melted

    * 1 TSP vanilla extract

    * 2 egg yolks

    * 4 egg whites

    * ¼ TSP cream of tartar

    * Cooking spray

    * 3” x 2.5” wide ring molds


    Steps:

    1. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt

    2. Whisk buttermilk, butter, vanilla, and egg yolk

    3. Beat egg whites and cream of tartar until stiff peaks form

    4. Stir the buttermilk mixture into the flour mixture until partially combined

    5. Stir the egg whites into the batter until combined

    6. Spoon batter into molds, cover with a lid and cook until the batter rises to the top and the bottom of the pancake is golden, about 5-8 minutes



    Nashville Hot Chicken Fried Steak


    Ingredients:

    * 2 cube steaks

    * 3 tbsp olive oil

    * 1 tbsp butter

    * 3/4 cup flour

    * 1/4 cup cornstarch

    * 2 tbsp cayenne

    * 1 tbsp berbere

    * 1 tbsp dark brown sugar

    * 1/2 tsp garlic powder

    * 1/2 tsp smoked paprika

    * 1/2 tsp black pepper

    * 1 egg

    * 1/4 cup water

    * 1 tsp hot sauce


    Steps:

    1. Combine dry ingredients

    2. Mix egg, water and hot sauce together

    3. Melt butter and oil in skillet

    4. Season steak then dredge in flour mixture and shake off any extra

    5. Dip steak into egg wash then back to flour mixture

    6. Cook steak about 4 minutes per side



    Hot Honey


    Ingredients:

    * 1 cup honey

    * 2/3 cup water

    * 3 dried or fresh chiles of your choice (jalapeno, Thai, chile de arbol, or guajillo chiles all work well)


    Steps:

    1. Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil

    2. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally

    3. Pour the honey syrup through strainer

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    S1 E21: Going Greek with Bonnie McFarlane and Gary Gulman May 21, 2024
    Show notes

    On this blast from the past, Bonnie McFarlane and Gary Gulman come by the kitchen for some dolmas, falafel, and far too much laughing. We hit on everything from the size of our balls to Ralphie May and Rachael Ray. And things don’t turn out so good…


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    DOLMAS and FALAFEL


    Dolmas

    * Grape leaves

    * Rice

    * Olive Oil

    * Diced Onion

    * Pine Nuts

    * Dried Currants

    * Allspice

    * Chopped mint

    * Chopped parsley

    * Water

    * Sugar

    * Fresh lemon juice


    1. Mix olive oil, sugar and lemon to make the sauce; set aside.

    2. Cook rice according to directions

    3. Mix rice, mint, parsley, and allspice until well combined

    4. Rinse grape leave; pat dry

    5. Place leaf on cutting board; add a heaping tablespoon of rice mixture.

    6. Fold the bottom of the lead over the mixture; bring the sides inwards and roll tightly to form a cigar shape.

    7. Place seam side down in a skillet lined with grape leaves

    8. Pour water and lemon/sugar sauce over the dolmas

    9. Weight it down with a plate; cover and cook for about 20 min.


    Falafel

    * Dried chickpeas; soaked overnight and drained

    * Chopped onion

    * Chopped jalapeno

    * Crushed garlic clove

    * Chopped cilantro

    * Chopped parsley

    * Almond flour

    * Kosher salt

    * Baking powder

    * Ground cardamom

    * Ground cumin

    * Veggie oil for frying.


    1. Pulse chickpeas in a food processor for about a minute; transfer to large bowl

    2. Pulse onion, jalapeno, garlic, cilantro, and parsley for about a minute; combine with chickpeas

    3. Add almond flour, salt, baking powder, cardamom, and cumin

    4. Mix well; form into ping-pong sized balls

    5. Heat veggie oil in a large heavy pot

    6. Drop falafel balls into oil, turning occasionally until they become deep brown and crispy (about 5 min)

    7. Transfer to a papertowel to drain

    8. Serve with tahini sauce and a pita.

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    S3 E22: Meat Prints and Tofu Nuggets with Sarah Silverman and Todd Glass May 14, 2024
    Show notes

    Sarah Silverman and Todd Glass stop by the kitchen for some meat prints and tofu nuggets. We talk Todd’s OCD, Sarah’s experience watching porn, and how great a person Mister Rogers was. I make a new take on chicken and waffles, Todd treats us to Pop-Tart ice cream sandwiches… and I’m serenaded at the end. All in all, a pretty great day.


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    FALAFEL WAFFLES W/ TOFU FINGERS


    Falafel Waffles

    * Falafel mix

    * Beaten egg

    * Olive oil

    * Water


    1. In a large bowl, combine falafel mix, ¼ olive oil and one beaten egg along with water as falafel mix directs.

    2. Stir to combine; let sit for 15 min.

    3. Spray waffle maker with cooking spray

    4. Add heaping tablespoons of batter to waffle maker; close and cook according to waffle maker’s directions.


    Tomato / Cucumber / Feta Salad

    * Red onion; thinly sliced

    * Fresh cilantro leaves

    * Fresh parsley leaves

    * Lemon juice

    * Red wine vinegar

    * English cucumber

    * Cherry tomatoes

    * Feta cheese

    * Olive oil


    1. In a food processor, pulse cilantro, parlsey, lemon juice, red wine vinegar, and a dash of black pepper.

    2. With the machine running, add ¼ cup olive oil.

    3. Transfer to a large bowl with sliced cherry tomatoes, thinly sliced red onion, feta, and cucumbers.

    4. Toss to coat veggies; set aside.


    Crispy Tofu Fingers

    * Extra-firm tofu

    * Veggie broth

    * Nutritional yeast flakes

    * Soy Sauce

    * Ground cumin

    * Onion powder

    * Garlic powder

    * Milk

    * White vinegar

    * AP Flour

    * Flaxseed

    * Salt

    * Cornstarch

    * Paprika

    * Canola oil


    1. Press tofu to drain out water

    2. Combine veggie broth, nutritional yeast, soy sauce, cumin, onion powder, and garlic powder to make marinade; mix well

    3. Pour marinade over cut / cubed tofu; let sit for 30 min

    4. Whisk together milk, white vinegar, AP flour, flaxseed, and salt to make batter.

    5. Combine AP flour, cornstarch, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, and salt for the breading.

    6. Pour canola oil into skillet and set over medium heat.

    7. Take tofu out of the marinade and roll into breading mixture.

    8. Remove and transfer to the batter; roll to coat.

    9. Remove and place back into breading mixture; roll to cover.

    10. Place tofu into hot oil and fry about 4 min, until golden and crispy.


    Tzatziki Sauce

    * Grated cucumber

    * Whole milk Greek yogurt

    * Lemon Juice

    * EVOO

    * Grated garlic

    * Sea salt

    * Chopped dill and mint


    1. Gently squeeze moisture from grated cucumbers

    2. Combine all ingredients; chill for service.


    To Plate

    1. Dish out cucumber salad onto bottom of plate

    2. Top with falafel waffle, then tofu fingers

    3. Drizzle tzatziki sauce over.

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    S1 E20: Tricks, Treats, and Talkin’ Porn with Kyle Kinane and Matt Braunger May 07, 2024
    Show notes

    Bert, Kyle Kinane, and Matt Braunger are ringin’ in Halloween six months early. Or late. There’s a pretty scary maple syrup / cider drink and a deviled eggs even Dracula himself would appreciate. Plus, they’re talkin’ a little about the Chicago comedy scene and a LOT about porn.


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    https://www.instagram.com/kylekinane


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    https://www.instagram.com/braunger


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    Bourbon Maple Cider Cocktails and Deep-Fried DEVILED Eggs


    Bourbon Maple Cider Cocktails

    * Bourbon

    * Applejack

    * Maple Syrup

    * Angostura bitters


    1. Fill cocktail shaker with ice, 4 ounces bourbon, 4 ounces applejack, 2 ounces maple syrup, and 1dash Angostura bitters.

    2. Strain into ice-filled cocktail glasses, then top each glass with cider.


    Deep-Fried Deviled Eggs

    * Hard Boiled Eggs

    * Flour

    * Beaten egg wash

    * Panko Breadcrumbs

    * Mayonnaise

    * Salt

    * Pepper

    * Ritz crackers


    1. Fill a pot with 2” oil; preheat to 350° F.

    2. Hard-boil eggs; shock in ice water and peel.

    3. Scoop egg yolks out and place into a mixing bowl; set whites aside.

    4. Add 2 tablespoons mayonnaise, 1.5 tablespoons relish and 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard to yolks; lightly season with salt and pepper.

    5. Dredge egg whites in flour, then into egg wash

    6. Coat egg whites in breadcrumb mixture

    7. Drop into hot oil and fry 2-3 min or until golden brown

    8. Remove from oil; set aside on paper towel to cool / drain

    9. Scoop yolk mixture into bowl of the egg

    10. Garnish with your choice of hot sauce, dill, paprika (or all!)



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    S3 E21: Hawaiian Hits with Gabby Reece and Laird Hamilton Apr 30, 2024
    Show notes

    This time, power-couple Gabby Reece and Laird Hamilton stop by the kitchen to talk about eating healthy, surfing, and our favorite podcasts. Plus I am paying tribute to Laird’s home state with a Hawaiian-inspired menu: poke, Spam musubi, and my absolute favorite – Hawaiian Shaved Ice. Oh, and we’re spilling a few secrets, too.


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    https://www.instagram.com/lairdhamilton/?hl=en



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    POKE BOWLS w/ SPAM MUSUBI


    AHI POKE

    * Fresh cubed Ahi

    * Sticky rice; cooked

    * Sea salt

    * Fresh minced ginger

    * Shoyu (or Soy Sauce)

    * Oyster Sauce

    * Sesame Oil

    * Sambal

    * Diced onions

    * Chopped scallions

    * Sesame seeds


    1. Cut ahi into cubes

    2. Mix thoroughly with sea salt; allow to cure for 5 min

    3. Add minced ginger, shoyu, oyster sauce, esame oil, and sambal.

    4. Mix thoroughly

    5. Add onions, scallions and sesame seeds; mix.

    6. Chill for at least 30 min.

    7. Serve on sticky rice; garnish with toppings of your choice (mango, avocado, cucumber…)



    SPAM MUSUBI

    * Sticky rice; cooked

    * Teriyaki sauce

    * Can of Spam

    * Sushi nori sheets

    * Furikake

    * Dark brown sugar

    * Soy Sauce

    * Mirin

    * Sesame oil


    1. Whisk together Teriyaki sauce, brown sugar, soy sauce, mirin, and sesame oil.

    2. Microwave 30-60 seconds to dissolve sugar; set aside

    3. Slice Spam lengthwise; arrange in a single layer on griddle / skillet.

    4. Cook 4-5 min; flip and cook the other side

    5. Spoon prepared sauce on top; cook for additional 2-3 min

    6. Repeat flipping and saucing another 2-3 min.

    7. Place wax paper on countertop

    8. Set down nori sheet (rough side down; longer side towards you)

    9. Paddle rice onto sheet; top with slice of Spam and sprinkle furikake.

    10. Roll up; dab water on edge and seal

    11. Cut into pieces

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