Smart Family Podcast

SFP 111 What Is It With Kids and Math? How Learning Math Teaches Kids About the Value of "Getting Stuck" with Ben Orlin Aug 22, 2024

If you have been around kids and schools, you'll notice that for some kids concepts around math come easy while for others it can seem like a constant uphill battle. Is it true that some of us were just not wired to learn math? Is it how math is taught? Or is there more to it? Today we talk not just about this issue but we also zoom out to the more general life lesson of "getting stuck" and we are joined by an expert in the field - teacher, speaker and author Ben Orlin. At a math teacher Ben saw how kids sometimes get stuck on trying only to get the right answer without "sitting" in the problem and perhaps seeing things from different angles. He brings to life some great examples in history where breakthroughs have emerged from smart people getting stuck and he makes a great point for why this should be something we value and teach to our kids as well. Ben, author of the upcoming Math For English Majors is a genius at making the "hard" things (like math concepts) easy to understand and you will love our conversation.

SFP 110 What To Do When You Feel Disappointed in your Marriage with Church Leaders Ann and Dave Wilson Jul 25, 2024

When you hit a season of disappointment in your marriage, what do you do? Do you tough it out, work it out, or move on? Our marriage experts and Christian church leaders, Ann and Dave Wilson had to face that question more than once. After 6 months, Ann wondered out loud to Dave, "I think we've made a serious mistake." After 10 years of marriage, she confessed to Dave that she no longer had feelings for him. And yet, they've found a pathway forward in their relationship that has them both in love, satisfied and enjoying each other after 44 years together. How did they face their disappointments and forge a better future? We have an honest, probing conversation today about how to make it through a season of disappointment, how to communicate about and meet each other's needs, how to improve your sex life and more.

SFP 109 How to Stress Wisely and Build Resilient Children - with Dr Robyne Hanley-Dafoe Jun 27, 2024

As parents we all want what is best for our children, but how much stress should we let them experience? Or do we protect them from life's struggles? And how does this tie in with the concept of resilience - this ability for a person to manage the daily stressors in life and maintain an overall healthy mental state. In this episode we speak with scholar, author and speaker Dr Robyne Hanley-Dafoe about the topics of resilience and stress. She has an incredible personal story which she shares with us, and which motivated her llife-long journey to learn more about stress and resilience - how it develops and how we can raise kids who are resilient through the various stressors of life. There are pearls of wisdom throughout this episode you will not want to miss!

SFP 108 How To Make Progress When Your Marriage is Challenging with Psychotherapist Sarah Covey May 31, 2024

If you'd asked me (Toni) about what or who was causing our marital strife during the rough period my husband Carey and I went through, I can assure you I would not have pointed the finger back at me. For a time, I firmly believed Carey was mainly to blame. Only later did I discover how much my own lack of self-awareness and my weaknesses were also at play. In today's episode with my friend and owner of the Covey Wellness Centre, Sarah Covey, we talk about how our journeys in personal growth intersect marriage. We talk about my book, Before You Split, where I chronicle some of the personal challenges Carey and I faced, our learnings, research and perspectives from my work as a divorce attorney. Listen in for practical insights on how to overcome the obstacles that keep you from being more deeply satisfied with your married life.

SFP 107 Parenting a Child With a Disability; How To Be A Disability Advocate; Everything No One Tells You About Parenting Child with a Disability with Kelley Coleman Apr 17, 2024

Are you the parent of a child with a disability? Or do you know a parent who needs support with their child with a disability? Kelley Coleman is an expert on all things related to parenting a child with a disability. Kelley discusses her own experience as a parent but also explains how we can be an advocate, not just for individuals but also for the larger community. She suggests what we should or should not say and what we should or should not do. This conversation is filled with pearls of wisdom from someone who has experienced it all and captured in her book Everything No One Tells You About Parenting A Disabled Child. Join us as we discuss this important topic.

SFP 106 What To Do When Your Teen Starts Using Substances; Why Regulating Your Own Emotions is Vital; How to Have Those Crucial Conversations Mar 28, 2024

Today's guest started having conversations with her child about avoiding drug use when he was still very young. So you can imagine the shock and denial she went through when she discovered he was using drugs as a teenager. Her story shows that it can happen to any parent. Ann is passionate about helping parents understand their own emotional reactions, and learning to regulate, and have better conversations with their teenager who may be 'going off the rails'. Most importantly, we talk about how to preserve and build stronger bonds with your child to guide them through this season in their development.

SFP 105 Max Lucado on Loneliness, Supporting Young Families and How a Faith Perspective Brings Hope and Meaning to His Life Mar 14, 2024

For many of you the name Max Lucado is very familiar. As a well-known Christian pastor and author of over 40 books which have sold more than 145 million copies, it is quite possible that there's a Max Lucado book on your bookshelf. On the other hand, we have a diverse audience and since Max speaks mainly about the Christian faith, maybe you've never heard of him. Regardless, this episode will be so helpful and interesting, no matter what your background. Even if you are not a spiritual person yourself, for many a faith perspective can be a vital lifeline in times of distress, bringing hope and meaning in an increasingly disconnected world. Being aware of someone's spriritual identity will help you understand not just what makes them tick and what brings them hope, but also where their resources lie. Recently Max wrote a book on loneliness for children - Just In Case You Ever Feel Alone - and we took the opportunity to speak to him not just about this book but in general about why we are so lonely, why young families need support, and why mental health and a vibrant faith perspective are so linked. You will be inspired by Max's message.

SFP 104 How To Help Teens Build Emotional Intelligence, Self-Awareness, and Self-Regulation with Teen Psychologist and Gen Z Brain Coach Melanie McNally Feb 28, 2024

Do you have a teen who seems to struggle with emotions? Or maybe you had a hard time self-regulating when you were a teenager and want to set your pre-teen up for success. When we read Melanie McNally's book The Emotionally Intelligent Teen we knew we wanted to interview her for the podcast. Adolescence can be so complex, and for teenagers who have big emotions they can't make sense of, or that seem to paralyze them, even a few helpful nudges can guide them to a much brighter future. Melanie speaks both from personal and clinical experience as a Gen Z Brain Coach and she was excited to share her insights with us. Listen in!

SFP 103 Practical Ways to Show Empathy and Collaborate with your Child While Fulfilling Your Role as a Parent; How Intentionally Harnessing Small Moments Can Help Build Stronger Bonds Feb 14, 2024

Ever feel like your collaborating or empathizing with your child isn't helping them, or you? How do you empathize with your child's feelings without giving your child more control than is healthy for them? Think about how you would feel if a plane you're flying on seems to be in trouble, but the pilot comes out and asks you what to do. You'd be terrified, right?? You need to know the pilot is in control, and has a plan. Parenting coach Mary Willcox Smith joins us on the podcast to share insights and practical, effective approaches that will help you face parenting challenges with empathy while also retaining your parenting role.

SFP 102 Jada Edwards How Faith Factors into Forgiveness; The Value of Risking Authenticity; Responding to Each Other's Needs is Critical Jan 25, 2024

It's not uncommon to believe "I would never do...", from a posture of pride, while judging our spouse's actions. Or, "Okay. I'll lower myself to your point of view", which also finds its source in pride. Leaning into self-awareness is not an easy journey, but uncovering your blind spots is one step toward transforming your relationship. Jada Edwards, one of the teaching pastors at One Community Church in Plano, Texas shares a wealth of wisdom on marriage. She and her husband went through a rough season in their marriage, out of which Jada gleaned deep and practical insights that we discuss in this episode. "Do you think you have a PhD in your spouse? If you've been married for 5 years, you basically have a kindergarten level of that knowing." When you realize that your level of understanding of your partner is quite a bit less mature than you think, let that be motivation for you to ask more curious questions.

SFP 101 Help Your Kids Develop a Healthy Relationship with Money - With Author and Certified Financial Planner Ben Hockema Jan 09, 2024

Certified financial planners interact daily with adults who have a relationship with money that is shaped by their experiences in childhood. Often these can be negative experiences that are tied to shame. Yet money is a part of our world and a tool for accomplishing pretty well everything and anything in life. So how do we help our kids develop a healthy relationship around money? How do we talk to our kids about earning it, spending it wisely, saving it and giving it away? What are some practical tools for teaching these valuable lessons to our children? When should we start? Ben Hockema is a certified financial planner and a dad who strongly believes that parents are the best people to talk to kids about money. In this episode he shares wisdom on this topic so that your kids (and parents!) can be wiser about money. Check it out.

SFP 100 "Does My Child Really Need a Baby Tooth Filled?"; Easy, Practical Ways to Relieve the Stress of Dentist's visits with Dr. Teresa Yang DDS Dec 20, 2023

'Just because it says "fruit" or "natural" on the product label doesn't mean the snack is healthy, especially for teeth.' That's just one snippet of wisdom from today's guest, Dr. Teresa Yang, professional dentist and author of the book, Nothing But the Tooth. Dr. Yang shares from her deep well of dentristy knowledge and experience to answer questions such as, "Does a baby tooth really need to be filled? Won't it just fall out?" and "It's an ordeal to get my child to see a dentist. What can I do?" and "How do I clean my baby's teeth?" and "What age should I start taking my child to a dentist?" Dr. Yang surveys a broad sweep of the questions she hears from parents over and over, to help you keep your family's smiles healthy and bright!

SFP 099 The Life-Transforming Power Of Being Outside With Your Kids - With Ginny Yurich Dec 06, 2023

When we heard that the average child today spends 4-7 minutes outside per day and 4-7 hours on screens, we felt compelled to explore this further and consider what we could do about this. Ginny Yurich is a mom, author, speaker and founder of 1000 Hours Outside - an organization designed to challenge and equip families with the knowledge and tools they need to make outside time a transformative time for children and families. We were born to be outside, with friends and family, learning and playing. Ginny explains how this can be a realistic goal for any family and why it should be a priority for healthy development.

SFP 098 Give Your Kids the Gift of Self-Awareness; Learnable Soft Skills that Prepare Your Child for Success with CEO and Father of 7 William Vanderbloemen Nov 24, 2023

You want to instill confidence and resilience in your child, but sometimes it seems life has another agenda, doesn't it?! Today's expert William Vanderbloemen translates what he's learned through working with thousands of young adults about character traits and soft skills that set kids up for success in their chosen life pursuit. The good news is, your child doesn't need to be born with the habits and soft skills that will help them succeed. They are all learnable, and today's discussion focuses on how to influence your child to learn these skills. We also focus on how critical self-awareness is in our current culture, and how to get this message across. William Vanderbloemen's new book, Be the Unicorn, is a deep dive into the soft sklls that he, as a seasoned expert in recruiting, looks for in top talent.

SFP 097 Children's Mental Health...at Church? Yup! - Jeff Brodie Interviews Dr Rob Meeder Nov 08, 2023

Today Dr Rob Meeder shares his insights on children's mental health in an interview with Jeff Brodie. This is pretty well children's mental health in a nutshell... in 25 minutes. Dr Rob talks about everything from common mental health issues; what is stress (really); how behaviour, communication and mental health are connected; medications; how mental health starts in infancy and more. This was part of a 5 part series by Jeff Brodie at Connexus Community Church. Enjoy!

SFP 096 How to Harness the Power of Story to Build Intimacy; Your Partner is a Landscape to Be Explored, Not a Problem to be Solved with Marriage Expert Chris Bruno Oct 25, 2023

Today's marriage expert Chris Bruno knows from experience that one of the primary issues couples face over the long term is feeling disconnected. Maybe this resonates with you now, or has in the past. The question is, once you feel like the love is gone, is there still a future for your relationship? How can you rebuild your intimacy, from drifting apart to growing closer again? Chris shares invaluable advice about the power of kindness, in telling each other your stories and so much more. Find out more about Thrive Marriage Labs by checking out the shownotes on the Smart Family Podcast website.

SFP 095 Understanding How Trauma Impacts Child Development; How to Talk About Trauma With Kids and Families; Helping Children Hold The Whole Story with Jessica Sinarski Oct 12, 2023

Trauma can take on various forms and how children experience trauma will vary from child to child. Similarly, how to talk to children about this will vary. It is important to know how the brain is impacted by trauma and what that means for therapists, parents, teachers etc as they seek to help and nurture children who need to heal. Jessica Sinarski is a certified adoption therapist and now dedicates her work to helping the helpers. She creates resources for families and caregivers who seek to do this work well, informed by an ever-growing body of knowledge about how trauma impacts the developing brain. Today she shares her very practical wisdom on this topic - so helpful!

SFP 094 Does Your Child Have a Sensory Processing Disorder, and if so, How Can You Help Them? with Rachel Harrington Jessica Hill Sep 27, 2023

Do you have a child who shows signs of having heightened sensitivity to certain senses - bright lights, loud sounds, certain smells or tastes or textures? Will your child not only try to avoid the sensation, but even have a meltdown over the exposure? Perhaps there's a sensory processing disorder ("SPD") involved. Our guests, Rachel Harrington and Jessica Hill have years of practical experience helping children and their families to not only cope with SPD, but to find creative ways to 'grow into' the needs of their own nervous system. While SPD is more common in children on the autism spectrum or those with developmental disabilities, it also develops for other reasons, such as brain injury or prematurity. What's the difference between a sensory quirk and an actual sensory processing disorder? Tune into this episode for valuable info on this relevant and emerging field.

SFP 093 Understanding the Nurture Revolution and Your Baby with Neuroscientist and Doula - Greer Kirshenbaum, PhD Sep 13, 2023

(FULL EPISODE] In this episode we learn how recent neuroscience meets the very practical world of parenting your baby. The early months and years of a child's life are the most important because those experiences become the foundation for an entire lifetime of mental health (and physical health). When your parent instinct tells you to reach out and nurture and connect with your baby - that is exactly what you need to do. In this episode neuroscientist and doula (aka baby expert!) Greer Kirshenbaum PhD, author of The Nurture Revolution talks with Dr Rob Meeder and explains how all of this works. No matter what stage of caregiving you are at you will feel so empowered yourself and encouraged by the nurture revolution that is moving in our communities! Enjoy! I guarantee you will never look at a baby the same way again, and your own mom or dad heart will thank you for it.

SFP 092 Sissy Goff on Becoming a Worry-Free Parent; What to Do When Your Amygala's Hanging Out; How to Process Your Own Anxiety Before It Reaches Your Kids Aug 22, 2023

"Our world has become far more connected. The violence around us feels more personal..." says anxiety counselling expert Sissy Goff. This is only one of the reasons that parental worry has become a pressing, almost universal issue for all of us who are raising kids. How does a parent's anxiety and worry impact a child? What are some of the steps parents can take even today to bring the level of worry down? Working to gain more mastery over anxiety and worry will reap dividends in your family in the form of stronger bonds and more joy. Sissy is one of our fav's around here - third episode!!! - because she shares our heartbeat, aiming to help you to 'love being home'!!

SFP 091 Alli Worthington on Being Yourself While Raising Kids; How Your Emotional Health Impacts Theirs; What Can a Mom Do Right Now to Thrive? Aug 09, 2023

"The magic of motherhood is in who you are, not what you do". Just one snippet of the sage, empowering advice from today's guest, Alli Worthington, author of "Remaining You While Raising Them". Ever felt like you've given the essence of yourself away, wondering where your zest for life went after you became a mom? As you pour yourself out to meet the needs of your family, what about your own desires and longings? What's your own mothering style? Just as no two humans are alike, no two mothers are exactly alike either. Alli's messages will encourage and help you to find your way back to who you are as you nurture your dear children. If you're a dad, do the mom in your life a big favour and tune in. Finding your way to emotional health is one of the surest ways to help set your kids up for an emotionally healthy future.

SFP 090 What Do You Say...? Talking To Teenagers, Connecting Emotionally and Avoiding Communication Pitfalls with Ned Johnson (Self-Driven Child) Jul 25, 2023

Ever find yourself wanting to have a good talk wtih your teen or tween and either getting nothing or an unexpected earful? How can we connect without seeoming pushy or fake? Do we avoid the deep emotions or dive in headfirst? If these questions are nagging and you feel you are just not able to connect with your child - this episode will provide some great advice. Ned Johnson co-wrote The Self-Driven Child with William Stixrud. After the success of that book they tackled some of the tougher communication problems described above in What Do You Say? Today we get to pick Ned's brain on some of the key messages he has for parents on how we can best communicate with our teens and tweens (and anyone else for that matter). It's a tricky balance sometimes - being interested, but not pushy; being empathic, but not an anxious presence; wanting to give advice, but not be dogmatic; being logical, but not neglecting to respect the emotions....parenting is hard! This episode will help.

SFP 089 SPECIAL REPLAY Jon Acuff Interviews Toni and Carey Nieuwhof on How A Marriage Can Move From Despair to Thriving, How To Leave Unhappiness Instead of Your Spouse, And Toni's Insights As A Family Law Mediator And A Former Divorce Attorney Jul 12, 2023

We got so much positive feedback on this episode and so many new listeners since it first aired in February 2021, that we felt it would be great to replay - either to listen to again or for the first time. Enjoy!

Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed or disconnected in your marriage? Worried about how this is impacting the kids? Do you wonder if maybe splitting up is better than continuing on? Then this is an episode you won't want to miss. Toni and Carey Niewuhof reflect together on how marriage can become empty, and offer practical advice on how to turn it around. As a family law mediator and former divorce attorney Toni shares her insights in her new book "Before You Split". This honest and open conversation will instil hope - no matter where your marriage is at.

SFP 088 Jennifer Kolari on Connecting, Listening and Mirroring with Toddlers, Teenagers and Even Your Partner - Relationship Advice Every Parent Needs Jun 28, 2023

When we talked with Jennifer Kolari previously on the podcast (episode 35) we got such great feedback - and no wonder! Jennifer provides such rich advice on how we can really truly connect on a meaningful level with our kids, and our partners. We are wired for relationship and born to connect. Jennifer opens the box and unpacks how our brains really do this and what to do when connections are broken. Check this episode out if you long for deeper connections with everyone in your circle.

SFP 087 Strategies to Help You Thrive at Home AND at Work with Dr. Rose (Rob's Wife!); How a Mom of Four Teens Lives a Full Life Well and Loves Being Home Jun 15, 2023

Rob's wife Rose takes her place behind the mic as the better half in our episode today! Whether you're a mom, a dad or a partner, you know how the things you've said 'yes' to may bump up against what you're trying to accomplish at home. Ever felt guilty about that? Ever wondered how to manage outside responsibiities and family-related ones, and still care for your own needs? Rose is filled with wisdom about living well, involving others, setting boundaries and living them out, and loving her family so well. Join us, and if the spirit moves you, let Rob and I know what you feel is holding you back in your home life.

SFP 086 REPLAY: Dr Anita Phillips - Marriage Lessons from a Trauma Expert; Distinguishing Traumatic from Stressful Events; Practical Tools for Trauma Recovery; And The Deep Pains of Racial Trauma May 26, 2023

We want you to hear this episode - so we are playing it again in case you missed it the first time. It is powerful. "Most things that seem complicated are actually just hard." This is a central idea that grounds Dr. Anita Phillips' work as a trauma therapist and life coach. Marriage is a primary relationship where the impacts of trauma - often trauma that occurred prior to the relationship - show up. And when it does, labelling behaviours and laying blame may come easily for the other partner., However, untangling the deeper causes for the behaviour is hard work. Dr. Anita shares a very compelling analogy using seeds and plants to illustrate the process of getting back to the root of behaviours that are causing stress. There's probably no human alive who is untouched by the impacts of trauma in their circle of loved ones. That's why we bill this episode as one not to miss, and we're grateful to Dr. Anita for sharing her wealth of wisdom.

SFP 085 Should I Put My Kids Into Sports? What Sports Are Good For Kids? What Can Our Kids (And Parents!) Learn Through Sport? May 09, 2023

Sports are part of our society and so it's no wonder that parents wonder whether they should put their kids into sports. And if so, when and what sport? These are all great questions that we explore today with Dr Katie Misener. Katie's research is devoted to sports and their benefits - not just for kids but also for parents and our communities. It turns out that getting kids involved in sports is good not just for their physical health, but also their mental health, and more. If you are a parent with kids in sports or thinking about it - you'll love this episode.

SFP 084 How to Parent with Joy and Stay Sane; Stopping the Power Struggles; Raising Resilient, Problem-Solving Children With Parenting Mentor and Author Sue Groner Apr 19, 2023

Wouldn't it be great if you had a parenting mentor at your side during those difficult parenting moments? Sometimes we are faced with conundrums - do I intervene, or let my kids figure it our on their own? When do I shift from manager to consultant role? What about sibling rivalry? How can we be real with uncomfortable emotions in front of our kids? What if one parent wants to parent differently? Well parenting expert Sue Groner helps us out today! Sue is the author of Parenting with Sanity And Joy: 101 Simple Strategies and she is a mom herself who shares honestly from her experience, backed up by research and time-tested parenting strategies that work. If you are well into the parenting journey or just starting out, this episode is for you.

SFP 083 How Developmental Trauma Shows Up in Your Family Relationships with Dr. Kathleen Murphy; Using Polyvagal Theory to Understand the Impacts of Childhood Trauma in Adulthood; How to Promote Healing Apr 05, 2023

Ever wondered about why it's sometimes hard to sync up your intentions for your relationships, and the ways you actually show up? Childhood trauma isn't necessarily what you think it is - we tend to think of the death of a parent or being involved in a life-threatening incident or being sexually abused when we talk about the lasting impacts of trauma (and rightfully so), but sometimes the sources of trauma are not obviously recognized. Trauma expert Dr. Kathleen Murphy joins us for an in-depth exploration of the ways developmental or complex trauma experienced before adulthood may manifest in words and behaviours in our couple relationships and parenting. If you've been treated abusively in your past, you may want to invite a friend to listen along with you and be there, for support. What Dr. Murphy shares is so honest, insightful and powerful, you won't want to miss this conversation, whether it applies to you personally or someone close to you.

SFP 082 Understanding Teenagers, High School and Gen-Z Mental Health with Psychologist Dr. Deborah Offner Mar 22, 2023

The world of teenagers is vastly different from the high-school world we experienced. This generation is digitally-native, more diverse and open to talking about mental health. This might leave your head spinning - what was taboo just a few years ago is now normal. Yet many teenagers are struggling with their mental health and the adults in their lives (teachers and parents) can sometimes find it hard to connect and support them. Today we talk to clinical psychologst and teen mental health expert Deborah Offner. She speaks extensisvely with teens, parents and teachers - mainly in the school setting - and is therefore able to give us the "inside scoop" on connecting with and understanding teenagers. She shares her insight with us today - so that you can parent your teenagers better.

SFP 081 Patrick Lencioni on the Six Types of Working Genius; How Knowing Your Own Geniuses can Strengthen Your Family Life; How to Position Yourself to Love What You Do Mar 08, 2023

We found this conversation not only enlightening and super practical, but also lively and surprising. Today's expert guest, Patrick Lencioni is acclaimed worldwide for his business acumen and leadership insights. The model he's talking about in our conversation was originally conceived of through his business and team experience, but the wonderfully surprising discovery is that this model (similar to other personality typing systems) has helped many people and couples with their relationships at home. Did you know that you have working geniuses, competencies and frustrations - and yours may be completely different from your partner's? Or, they may be the same, in which case there are other hurdles to be aware of. Discover more about this model and how it can be applied to strengthen ALL your family relationships.

SFP 080 Mona Delahooke on The Brain-Body Connection and Why Parents Need To Know About This; How To Manage Tantrums, Defiance and Sensory Challenges In Our Kids; And Why Parents Need To Be Compassionate Towards Themselves As Well (New Episode!) Feb 22, 2023

So pumped to have Dr Mona Delahooke back for another brand-new episode. Today we discuss how everyday practical parenting links with a new understanding of child behaviour and how brains and bodies are interlinked. Drawing on insights from her new book Brain-Body Parenting, Mona simplifies a complex theory called polyvagal theory and applies it to frustrating parenting challenges we see every day. She offers very practical advice about understanding and managing tantrums, defiance, and sensory challenges we see in our kids. Finally she asks us all to take a deep breath and look after ourselves too, so that we can all enjoy the relationship we have with our children on a deeper more intimate level. Are you ready to take your parenting to the next level?

SFP 079 Secrets of Sex and Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma; How to Overcome Mismatches in Desire; Great Sex and Communicating Well are Linked Feb 08, 2023

If you're in a relationship and you value a sex life that is exciting and enduring, hear what our expert Dr. Michael Sytsma, experienced sex therapist and marriage researcher, has to say. His high-quality research findings are so encouraging for couples who look forward to a vibrant sex life for decades! Openness and honesty about physical intimacy plays a vital role. Did you know that there are different and equally legitimate types of sexual desire? The issues in your sex life that are frustrating you may be more resolvable than you think. Discover how and why with Dr. Mike, back with us for the third time to explain the results of his research from the book he co-authored, Secrets of Sex and Marriage.

SFP 078 Part 2: Andy and Sandra Stanley On Parenting; Super Practical Advice To Help Your Children Love Being Home - With You And With Each Other Jan 24, 2023

Welcome to Part 2 of our conversation with Andy and Sandra Stanley as we dive further into the topic of parenting. Andy and Sandra explain how we need to keep our parenting focused on the relationships first and foremost, and how they intentionally built that into every aspect of their parenting years - which have now evolved into friendships with their adult children. What do you need to do to ensure your children want to be with you, and each other, even when they no longer have to? In other words, what can you do to help your children love being home?

SFP 077 On Parenting with Andy and Sandra Stanley - Part 1; What is Your "North Star" For The Parenting Journey; The Stages of Parenting; Super Practical Advice To Guide Your Family Through The Parenting Years. Jan 19, 2023

Nobody gave you a manual when your child was born, so now what? Today we get some fantastic advice from speakers and authors Andy and Sandra Stanley. They emphasize how every family needs to have a "north star" that guides the family journey. Andy and Sandra, drawing upon their own parenting experience with candid recollections and humor, make a strong case for a "north star" that focuses on the relationship above all. Having been involved with youth and fostering as well, Andy and Sandra are able to distill these concepts for us in their new book Parenting - Getting IT Right - but our conversation was not distilled enough to squeeze it into one episode. So this is part 1! Join us next week for part 2!

SFP 076 Does Your Child Tell Lies? Myths About the Lies Children Tell that You Need to Know; Raising A Respectful and Empathetic Child with Colleen Doyle Bryant Jan 11, 2023

Most of us parents know what it's like to be stressed out, dealing with your child telling lies. Practically every parent faces this issue at one time or another. How to handle lying in ways that don't make it worse is tricky and sometimes not intuitive. Today's guest Colleen Doyle Bryant is author of the book Common Decency and known for her character resources to equip teachers and parents with better, research-based ways of developing good character in our children and teens. In this episode, Colleen gives us the background info along with many practical examples of how to apply strategies that encourage honesty and self-respect in our kids.

SFP 075 Secure Attachment and Mentalization: How Do We Promote Early Relational Health? - with Dr Rob Meeder Dec 14, 2022

Do infants have "mental health"? How important are those early weeks and months when it comes to developing secure attachments to caregivers? Well, today our own cohost Dr Rob Meeder shares recent learnings about these topics. Rob makes the point that those early relationship matter - a lot! Why? Because this is when kids develop the skill of mentalization - the ability to understand the state of mind of others as we develop trust. Furthermore, this happens most effectively in the context of a secure relationship, one where children feels safe and secure, and thus able to explore the outside world with confidence. Join us today as Rob and Toni unpack these concepts and provide some practical strategies for laying a foundation for mental wellbeing throughout the lifespan.

SFP 074 Build Stronger Bonds with your Child or Teen; Intentional Listening and Setting the Stage for Better Connections; Focus on the 3 Big Questions Your Teen is Exploring Nov 28, 2022

Listen in on what Brad Griffin, co-author of The Three Big Questions that Change Every Teenager, offers out of his depth of experience in researching and living out the approaches that build solid, healthy relationships with young people. From research he co-led, we turn our focus to the questions every teenage holds in common: what is my identity; where do I belong; and what is my purpose? Our conversation provides insight into how you can harness these questions to deepen your family ties, along with a wealth of practical advice on positioning yourself to make these connections happen naturally and authentically. We even address what to do if all you tend to get from your teenager are grunts and one-word answers! Above all, here's one thing we insist you keep in mind: you already are a GREAT parent!

SFP 073 Mental Health Expert Dr John Delony Tackles Two Potential Threats to Your Marriage: Loneliness and the Impacts of Trauma Nov 14, 2022

Acclaimed relationship expert Dr John Delony brings it in this interview! We tackle two issues that can wreak havoc in a relationship when they're not dealt with, namely, loneliness and trauma of the past. Do you have a friend you could call in the middle of the night in an emergency? We have a hope-filled conversation about how to build authentic friendships. Dr. John has written about the diverse, often unnoticed impacts of unresolved trauma. These include broken relationships, poor mental health and chronic illnesses. "Our brains are prediction machines and threat detection systems...all the time," he explains. Join us for more of John Delony's excellent, practical advice on how deal with the wounds of your past and unpack the "bricks" you've been carrying around for a healthier you and stronger marriage.

SFP 072 Toni Shares Perspectives From Her Practice as a Divorce Attorney; Practical Solutions to Strengthen Your Marriage Oct 26, 2022

In this episode, Rob turns the mic on Toni about what she learned in her practice as a divorce attorney about relationships and the struggles almost every couple experiences. She is transparent about the challenges in her own marriage with her husband Carey, and the transformation that they eventually experienced. Toni talks about how to fight for "we" instead of "me", the benefits of ditching your own victim story, how to grow closer in any intimate relationship.

SFP 071 Helping Your Kids Develop Self-Leadership, Self-Confidence, And a Growth Mindset - With Dr Karyn Gordon Oct 12, 2022

What a thrill to talk with Dr Karyn Gordon - psychologist, Ted Talk speaker and author of The Three Chairs. Karyn has done years of research on leadership and what makes an effective leader. Using principles from her knowledge of family systems she has figured out what allows people to work together effectively. She has distilled her findings into a metaphor which she calls The Three Chairs. Together we unpack this idea and along the way talk about self-leadership, self-confidence and how to distinguish between thoughts and feelings (hint: it's super important to understand the difference!). Listen in and find out which chair you might be sitting in.....

SFP 070 Tapping into the Superpower of Mindset with Jon Acuff - How to Harness Soundtracks to See Better Results for You and Your Kids Sep 21, 2022

When Jon Acuff asked kids at a camp to write down their hidden doubts and fears, it became clear to him that the soundtracks they're listening to - the negative messages they feed themselves - aren't setting them up for success. Sound familiar? Has overthinking ever been an issue for you? If you've ever caught yourself thinking I'm not _____ enough to do that or heard your child saying, "I'm the worst at ________" or your teen saying, "I'll never pass ______" or "Fat chance I'll ever get into _______", then stop right here and listen in. Jon Acuff tackles this problem head-on, backed by research in his recent book, Soundtracks. Even better, in this conversation he shares what he and his two teenaged daughters, L.E. and McRae have learned, applied and written about to help other teens replace their broken soundtracks with thoughts that launch them into a better future.

SFP 069 Understanding ADHD: What Is It and How Do We Treat It? With ADHD Expert Dr Walt Karniski Sep 07, 2022

Does your child have difficulty focusing or paying attention? Are they hyperactive? Do you wonder if they (or maybe you) have ADHD? Maybe a friend or teacher has suggested the diagnosis and now you don't know what to do. Today we turn to ADHD expert and author Dr Walter Karniski for answers. He explains where ADHD comes from, why it used to be an advantage to have ADHD but how for many people it is a challenge. He explains how ADHD isn't really a disease or based in actual pathology but is better perceived as being a maldaptive way of coping in today's complicated world. He also goes into detail about medications. If you have ever wondered whether you or your child has ADHD, this episode will address common questions. Want to know more? Check out Dr Karniski's book ADHD Medication: Does It Work and Is It Safe?

SFP 068 Helping Kids Build Friendships That Promote Growth and Purpose - A Practical Conversation with Dr Rob Meeder Aug 29, 2022

Ever wonder if your kids have too few friends? Or too many? Or none? It's been a tough few years for kids and personal connection. As parents we want our kids to grow in a healthy family and community environment. We want positive peer influences - but how do we protect them from the negative influences (or should we?). What about the pull of on-line connections versus in-real-life connections? Dr Rob Meeder tackles all this and more in a super practical way that will help you as you parent your children through the ups and downs of life in a busy and often confusing world.

SFP 067 Toxic Sport Culture, Bullying, And Your Child's Brain - What Should Parents Watch For? With Jennifer Fraser Aug 16, 2022

On the fence about whether you should sign your kids up for sports? Prior to the pandemic, lots of families were engaged in sports but recently parents have started to rethink whether to sign kids back up for sports or not. One of the reasons parents are hesitating is the toxic culture that exists in certain sports and teams - one that is often driven by coaches who bully and one that is hitting headline news on a regular basis. We learn that trying to "motivate" kids by bullying them is actually counter-productive and harmful. In this episode we talk to author and speaker Jennifer Fraser who has lived-experience with this issue and has written extensively about this in her recent books. We talk about sports, but also bullying in general, and how we can protect our kids so that sports - and every area of their life - can be enjoyable, healthy, fun and safe. Find out more at bulliedbrain.com.

SFP 066 How to Stop That Nagging Feeling of 'Mom Guilt' with Dr. Michelle Deering Jul 27, 2022

Ever felt that nagging feeling you should be doing something for your kids or at home while you're at work? Or, doing something more at the office once you're at home? For the first time on our podcast, we're tackling the problem of 'mom guilt' (but for you men, we don't believe that only mothers get this feeling!). Dr Michelle Deering is a psychologist with decades of experience in helping people overcome the emotional hurdles in their lives and family relationships. She talks about the core beliefs that give rise to 'mom guilt', dispels the myth that you need to be present with your children all the time, and shines light on the often-hidden problem of mom's needs being deprioritized - by mom herself. She gives us valuable, practical advice on how to move beyond feeling guilty while building stronger bonds with your spouse and kids, and emerging with a healthier you!

SFP 065 Transforming Your Parenting and Marriage from Stable Misery to Dynamic Joy with Dr Lynyetta Willis Jul 13, 2022

This episode will inspire you. We get right into the nuts and bolts of the motto of our podcast: "Love Being Home!" with clinical psychologist Dr Lynyetta Willis. Do you feel like you are stuck in your family relationships? Do you see your spouse and kids and wonder if you are settling for mediocrity? Can there be more to your marriage and parenting? Dr Willis thinks so. She explains how we can get stuck in patterns of stable misery. More importantly, she describes how to move out of that pattern and move towards dynamic joy using the PATHS framework. We learned so much talking to Dr Wilis and believe you will be inspired to take a step in the right direction and can once again Love Being Home.Enjoy!

SFP 064 Helping You Create a More Satisfying Sex Life: An Interview with Amie Latta Jun 28, 2022

The tough times we've all been through lately have been impacting our marriages. How's it going with your sex life these days? Today's guest has years of experience helping couples get to the root of problems with their sexual intimacy. In this episode, Toni and our guest Amie Latta talk about the three most common pitfalls that trip couples up in the bedroom, along with practical wisdom on potential solutions and next steps. She shares ways to move past the barriers you've been experiencing but not really discussing, including the performance pressure we too often place on ourselves. If you've been wondering how to deal with a sensitive issue impacting your sex life - that one you're afraid to raise with your partner - you'll want to hear what Amie has to say.

SFP 063 | Raising Emotionally Strong Boys with David Thomas Jun 08, 2022

Why is it that we are so often led to believe that boys and men must supress their emotions in order to be truly masculine? It is as if the terms "emotional" and "masculine" are mutually exclusive. Our guest today has a different perspective. David Thomas believes that boys are healthier if they are emotionally strong. He also makes a powerful case that emotionally strong boys become much healthier men - a profound message given the sad mental health statistics for men. David has done extensive research on this topic, and draws from decades of counselling experience. He has written about it in his new book Raising Emotionally Strong Boys. He shares his insights with us today - insights which will help you raise your son in a way that is mentally, physically and spiritually healthy.

SFP 062 | Deanna Singh on how to help your kids embrace racial diversity and stand against racial injustice May 19, 2022

Having conversations with our kids about topics of diversity, equity and inclusion can feel complicated these days. Even during periods when we're not hearing much about racial prejudice in the news, there's a lot for us to learn and much work to be done to right the wrongs of racial injustice in our societies. How can you and your family be part of ongoing antiracism efforts to put an end to racial injustice for this generation? Deanna Singh has been named by Forbes as an African American woman everyone needs to know. Educated in law and business, Deanna is both a social entrepreneur and a changemaker. She tells her story of how east met west in her family of origin, her own childhood experience of racism, and how she and her family approach other cultures with curiosity and love.

SFP 061 | Should I Travel With My Kids....If They are Anxious, Inflexible or Neurodiverse? With Dawn Barclay May 04, 2022

When we think about travelling we imagine going to exotic places and great weather! But while that may be true (hopefully) for part of the trip, often there are challenging times as well - both enroute and at your destination. This is especially true when you are travelling with kids, and even moreso when they are anxious, inflexible or neurodiverse. With travel plans gaining steam again, you might be wondering if it's worth the risk, and how you might mitigste the challenges of travelling with kids. Our guest is travel expert Dawn Barclay, author of Traveling Different. She has done a huge amount of work on this topic and shares it with us today. Want to see the world....wtih your kids? Then this episode is for you!

SFP 060 | Should I send my kids to camp?? Rich Birch On Everything You Need to Know About Sending Your Kids To Camp This Summer Apr 20, 2022

For some families camp is a sure sign of summer and a childhood staple. For other families - maybe not so much. What are camps all about anyways? Is my kid ready for camp? How do camps develope their leaders? These are legitimate questions and we throw them like a sticky smore at Rich Birch - camp director extraordinaire and leadership expert. You will discover how camps are much more than just places for kids to pass the time, how they take health and safety seriously, and what you should look for in a camp before you register your kids.

SFP 059 | How Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo Transformed their Marriage from Struggling to Extraordinary; Six Types of Intimacy; How Physical and Sexual Intimacy Complement Each Other Apr 06, 2022

There were two times during their earlier years of married life when our guests, Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo, were contemplating divorce. They were feeling emotionally disconnected and their sex life was flatlined. But they were both engaged just enough to try something they never had done before. It was a decision they made about their sex life that sparked a turnaround. That was many years ago, and since then, our guests have been coaching other couples on how to build strong, healthy marriages by paying attention to six types of intimacy, which they refer to as "pillars". Are the building blocks of your marriage in great condition, or are there cracks? Tune in to what our marriage coaches/podcasters have to say!

SFP 058 | David Thomas - Special Replay Edition on Understanding and Raising Boys Mar 23, 2022

Ever been perplexed at a boy's behaviour? If so, you'll appreciate this conversation with counselling expert David Thomas which we had exactly 2 years ago. He has been counselling kids and families for years, with a focus on boys. David has a lot to share about how boys develop and communicate, what makes them tick and how to understand their hearts. This episode really resonated with listeners and continues to be downloaded daily and no wonder - with practical advice and words of wisdom this episode is packed full of information for parents of boys. Enjoy it for the first time, or listen again!

SFP 057 | Mona Delahooke - Listen To Our Top Episode Mar 09, 2022

Episode 34 with child psychologist Mona Delahooke was posted a year ago and remains our top episode on the show. No wonder - Mona's straightforward explanation of why children behave the way they do really resonated with so many listeners. Based on concepts from her book Beyond Behaviors, Mona gives us practical advice on how to address challenging behaviours. She explains why what we see is just the "tip of the iceberg" and why certain approaches to managing challenging behaviours work better than others. Drawing on concepts of the Polyvagal Theory she reframes how we need to understand behaviour so that we can parent more effectively.

SFP 056 | Special Replay Edition: ADHD with Dr Russell Barkley (Ep. 28); How ADHD Relates To Sleep, Diet & Driving; Diagnosing and Treating ADHD; And Taking Charge of ADHD by Becoming An Executive Parent Feb 23, 2022

Episode 28 with Dr. Russell Barkley on ADHD was so popular with our listeners, we wanted to feature it for our new listeners. Know someone who's dealing with ADHD in their family? Do your friend a huge favour and share this episode! Our guest deals with these questions: What is ADHD exactly? Aren't all kids normally a little hyperactive? Can it be due to too much sugar in the diet? Should my teenager with ADHD be driving? Do stimulant medications actually work? We speak with Dr Russell Barkley - world renowned expert on ADHD - on how ADHD is actually a difficulty with self-regulation which impacts all areas of life. In this information-packed episode, we explore how you can approach and support your child with ADHD to help all of you thrive in life and love being home.

SFP 055 | Feed Your Child For Optimal Development; Pro-tips for Toilet Training; Helping Your Toddlers (and Teens!) Sleep Feb 09, 2022

We loved this conversation with Dr. Natasha Beck (well-known as @drorganicmommy or drorganicmommy.com) because she covers a broad range of super-practical topics, especially for parents of young children. If you've been a parent of a toddler for a minute, you know how challenging it can be to instil healthy eating habits. In this episode, our guest challenges many of the underlying assumptions we parents have around food choices, portion sizes, approaches to variety of foods and so on. Hear what she has to say about toilet training, starting with how you communicate with your baby. Your infant picks up more from your communication than you may think! We round out this conversation with some 'how to's' on improving or avoiding sleep problems throughout your child's developmental years.

Eating Disorders - Bonus episode - The Nuts and Bolts of the Medical Aspects with Andrea Logan; What Happens in an Eating DIsorders Clinic; Recent Trends During COVID; The Medical Complications of Eating Disorders and How They are Treated Jan 27, 2022

This bonus episode follows our conversation last week with Dr Anita Federici. We take a more in-depth look at the medical issues associated with eating disorders with Andrea Logan, a Nurse Practitioner on the front lines of the pandemic-related eating disorder surge. We discuss the recent trends observed by Andrea and her team, and how the team works together with the patient and their family to address an eating disorder and the medical complications associated with it. Eating disorders are potentially life-threatening, but with proper treatment they can be overcome. Please note: this episode is for general information only and does not substitute for medical advice from your health care provider. If you or someone you know is struggling with disordered eating - please get help (see show notes for links).

SFP 054 | Eating Disorders - Dr Anita Federici on Defining an Eating Disorder; What Happens Psychologically When We Stop Feeding Ourselves; The Role of Social Media And A Pandemic; How Parents Can Recognize and Support Someone With an Eating Disorder Jan 19, 2022

One of the most drastic impacts of COVID 19 on mental health has been the surge of eating disorders. For many people, eating disorders are hard to understand - eating just seems like such a basic and usually pleasurable human need. How does someone not see the impacts of disordered eating on their physical health? How does an eating disorder start? Do teenagers choose not to eat? How can we possibly help them? These are exactly the sorts of questions we unpack with psychologist expert Dr Anita Federici. As an expert on eating disorders she has the practical wisdom and understands the psychology behind disordered eating. She revelas the sometimes subtle ways it starts and shares how we as parents can help. What can we do? say? not say? Listen in! (And stay tuned next week when we release part 2 - a discussion on the clinical effects of eating disorders with Andrea Logan)

SFP 053 | Cbabi Bayoc - A Renowned Artist on Nurturing Creativity in Your Kids; The Artistic Process; And Art as a Catalyst for Change Jan 05, 2022

How would you respond if your child said they wanted to be an artist when they grow up? It seems like we tend to think of art as a hobby and might even steer our kids away from being artists. World renowned artist Cbabi Bayoc has a different message: encourage creativity in your kids and it will help them grow in all areas of their lives. Furthermore, if you want your children to make a difference when they grow up, art can be a powerful medium for change and social justice, as Cbabi Bayoc is now for the Black community. This episode will inspire you and is sure to make you respect art as a process and medium for change, not just as a finished product.

SFP 052 | Preventing Money Problems from Ruining your Marriage; Re-envisioning the Role of a Pre-nup; Why Financial Disclosure Before Marriage is Critical Dec 08, 2021

In this episode, we have the privilege of hearing from a divorce attorney who has a fresh take on financial planning prior to taking your vows. Atlanta attorney Aaron Thomas maintains that couples benefit from a meaningful process of financial disclosure and negotiations prior to marrying, because compared with prior decades, the financial implications of marrying these days tend to be more complex. It's more like merging two private corporations than it is starting out with nothing - as our parents and grandparents did. Whether you call it a pre-nup, or a post-nuptial agreement or a collaborative marriage agreement (Toni and Rob's take), we're excited for you to hear more about why it makes sense to follow the process today's expert advocates for.

SFP 051 | Kadi Cole on Developing Leadership Potential in Kids, Especially Girls; Why Kids Need to Learn To Take Risks; Changing The Sticky Floor to a Springboard for Female Leaders; The Gender Gap in Leadership Education and Why we are "Better Together" Nov 17, 2021

So pleased to welcome leadership expert Kadi Cole to the podcast. Do you have a child in whom you see leadership potential? Are girls being held back from leadership by thoughts within their own head? If you have a budding leader at home, you will love our conversation with leadership expert Kadi Cole. We examine why risk taking and decision making is so important for kids to experience and learn. Discover why there is a leadership gender gap in certain sectors, but also in leadership education. This episode will be especially empowering for girls who are showing leadership potential as Kadi discusses her own journey to becoming a highly respected and skilled leader. Enjoy!

SFP 050 | Understanding Your Kids' Friend Relationships, Bullying, Modelling Self-Love, and The Importance of Setting Boundaries - with Psychotherapist Christina Furnival Nov 04, 2021

Wow! Episode 50! And what a privilege to add another expert voice to the podcast. Today we talk with mental health therapist and children's book author Christina Furnival. She speaks from her own experience and research on the topic of boundaries. We shouldn't expect our kids to be friends with everyone - there are limits. In fact setting limits shows others what we value and who we are. How do we teach our kids about setting boundaries? What are the risks if we do not teach them this skill? We also talk about the concept of self-love and filling your home with positivity and growth, rather than negativity.

SFP 049 | The Self-Driven Child with Ned Johnson - How to Stop Fighting Over Homework or Chores; Bonding while Helping your Kids Succeed; Nurturing an Internal Drive to Learn Oct 21, 2021

Ned Johnson has decades of experience as an expert tutor working with teens and parents on standardized test performance. In their book, The Self-Driven Child, he and Dr. William Stixrud share the postures and practices that help kids optimize their performance, while nurturing their relationships with their parents. Hear more about how considering yourself to be a consultant as opposed to a manager makes all the difference. This episode gives you practical strategies to help you release your child into a bright future while maintaining the healthy, strong bond you desire with your child, now and into the future.

SFP 048 | Blending Families - How to Predict Common Issues, Define Expectations and Create Solutions Together As You Prepare To Blend - Advice From Ron Deal, Family Therapist Oct 06, 2021

We are so pleased to have marriage and family therapist Ron Deal back with us to discuss the blended family. If you are in a position of preparing to blend families with your new partner's family, or adding a step-parent to the mix, what are some pitfalls to avoid and issues to discuss? We ask all the tough questions: What do we call each other? Should we plan a wedding (and how?) What if there's animosity between families? What if kids aren't ready for the transition? This episode dives deep into one of the most common family units out there - the blended family!

SFP 047 | Separating Truth From Myth on Sex in Marriage; Practical Advice From Dr. Mike Sytsma Sex Therapist on Keeping Your Physical Intimacy Alive for Decades; Unpacking the New Findings of his Recent Study Sep 22, 2021

When a spouse complains about their partner's level of desire for sex, there are common misunderstandings. Did you know there are different but equally valid types of sexual desire? We loved the opportunity to sit down again with Dr. Michael Sytsma (second-time guest; see also Episode 3) for a science-based and super-practical conversation largely focused on original research he conducted along with fellow researcher, Shaunti Feldhahn (we were honoured to host Shaunti on Episode 9). For example, a couple may easily misjudge that they are further apart in what they want out of their sex life than they actually are. Find out solutions to some of the common mistakes and misconceptions couples struggle with and get on with making your sex life more of what you both want it to be.

SFP 046 | Drs Ed Tronick and Claudia Gold Discuss the Importance of Mismatch and Repair for all Healthy Relationships; Why Mental Health Problems are Often More Complicated than a Diagnosis; Trauma And Resilience Sep 08, 2021

"The brain is an organ sculpted by experience." In this episode we sit down with Dr Ed Tronick, a pioneer in the field of child psychology and Dr Claudia Gold, a pediatrician expert and advocate for the study of parent-infant mental health. We've delved into the importance of early experiences before but in this episode we look specifically at one of the most powerful paradigms in child psychology, the Still Face Paradigm, which Dr Tronick discovered. Both Ed and Claudia make powerful arguments for why being able to move from states of mismatch and repair is vital when developing healthy relationships and how this need for repair is wired into babies right from birth. We also discuss how this paradigm relates to trauma and resilience; and how mental health, development and attachment are so closely related.

SFP 045 | Managing Your Family Finances To Help Your Kids Start Off Well In Life; The Importance of Getting (and Staying) Out of Debt - with Anthony ONeal Aug 18, 2021

Whether it's helping your kids with college tuition or having the financial margin to help your kids start off in life, getting your family finances in order is key. In today's culture we are constantly bombarded with messages to spend, spend, spend and accumulating debt, rather than making sustainable decisions for long-term success. Financial expert, author, speaker and podcaster Anthony ONeal shares with us how he went from couch-surfing to financial security. Anthony shares with us some very practical tips on how to manage debt and move your financial position out of the red and into the black.

SFP 044 | How to Better Connect With Your Teenager; Influence of Empathy on your Conversations; Understand Your Teenager's (Maybe Hidden) Critical Questions Aug 04, 2021

"Every teenager is a walking bundle of questions." If you have a teenager - guaranteed! - your teen has questions that may leak out, or remain bottled up. Kara Powell and Brad Griffin of the Youth Fuller Institute did research prompted by their passion to help parents and others who work with young people to better address our teens' tough questions. While your teen's questions may be broad and varied including issues such as the environment or money or social justice, these experts uncovered three questions that every teen is asking, whether or not they're voicing them to you. Kara shares practical advice about the role of empathy in having real conversations about your teen's tough questions. She also provides valuable insights into which critical questions your teenager needs answers to.

SFP 043 | Marriage Lessons from a Trauma Expert, Dr. Anita Phillips; Distinguishing Traumatic from Stressful Events; Practical Tools for Trauma Recovery; And The Deep Pains of Racial Trauma Jul 21, 2021

"Most things that seem complicated are actually just hard." This is a central idea that grounds Dr. Anita Phillips' work as a trauma therapist and life coach. Marriage is a primary relationship where the impacts of trauma - often trauma that occurred prior to the relationship - show up. And when it does, labelling behaviours and laying blame may come easily for the other partner., However, untangling the deeper causes for the behaviour is hard work. Dr. Anita shares a very compelling analogy using seeds and plants to illustrate the process of getting back to the root of behaviours that are causing stress. There's probably no human alive who is untouched by the impacts of trauma in their circle of loved ones. That's why we bill this episode as one not to miss, and we're grateful to Dr. Anita for sharing her wealth of wisdom.

SFP 042 | Mental Health Q&A with Dr Rob Meeder - The Benefits (or Not) of A Diagnosis; The Role of Psychotropic Medications; Where Does Stress Come From; Healing From Trauma; And More! Jul 07, 2021

In this episode Smart Family Podcast co-host Dr Rob Meeder tackles common questions about behaviour and mental health. With over 20 years experience as a pediatrician, and now with a practice devoted solely to families and children dealing with behaviour and mental health issues, Dr Rob is well-equiped to talk about topics like behaviour, stress, trauma and resilience. Plus find out more about common mental health diagnoses such as anxiety, autism and ADHD, the role of medications, and why a diagnostic label might sometimes be less useful than we think.

SFP 041 | Alfie Kohn Explains Why Punishments And Rewards Are Really the Same Thing; The Impacts of Parenting Approach on Moral Character; And the Consequences of Conditional Parenting Jun 23, 2021

When you tell your child, "Don't let me catch you doing that again!", will they stop? Or will they just try harder the next time to make sure they don't get caught! That's one of the issues our parenting expert Alfie Kohn uncovers as problematic in the conditional parenting approach. He advocates for an approach to parenting that values children for who they are and not simply how they behave. Kohn argues that the conditional approach sends a message to the child that they are loveable when they do the right things and not loveable when they don't. Although conditional parenting is quite ingrained in our culture, the research shows it has a less than ideal impact on forming moral character. It raises the question: what do you really want for your child's future?

SFP 040 | Dr Stuart Shanker on Self-Reg: What The Marshmallow Test Really Means; The Domains of Stress; Misbehaviour versus Stress Behaviour; Calm versus Quiet; And Why No Child's Future is Pre-determined. Jun 02, 2021

The paradigm of understanding behaviour is shifting. Where we used to just see positive and negative reinforcement as our only options to address misbehaviour, we are now urged to consider how stressors lead to stress behaviour. Join us in this extremely informative episode as we talk with Dr Stuart Shanker about reframing the behaviour we are seeing in our children (and everyone else too). He will tell us how we can begin to help our children and ourselves self-regulate, allowing children to develop to their full potential. This is one you do not want to miss!

SFP 039 | Lessons from a Child Psychiatrist: The Powerful Impact of Love and Connection on Your Infant's Developing Brain; Practical Ways to Enhance Your Child's Education; How to Mitigate Your Teen's Risk-Taking Behaviours May 19, 2021

If you want to know more about how to support your infant, child or teen's development in the context of the underlying neuroscience, this interview with an expert Infant, Child and Teen Psychiatrist will shed welcome light. Dr. Clinton combines her decades of clinical psychiatry practice with her passion to serve as a knowledge translator of the advances in neuroscience to offer practical and impactful advice for parents and educators. She keeps the emphasis on what parents can manage: the goal is progress, not perfection. Dr. Clinton also stresses that you need a community as a parent; don't go it alone.

SFP 038 | Taking Control of Your Finances To Get Rid of Debt; Transitioning to Financial Freedom; Common Mistakes Couples Make in Dealing with Money - With Stephanie Sims May 05, 2021

Has stress over finances taken a toll on your relationship? Today's guest, Stephanie Sims, has drawn from lessons learned over many years of personal and client experience to establish her life's calling: helping others manage their finances and make progress toward debt-free living. In this episode, Stephanie shares invaluable insights and perspectives that will help you see budgeting, for example, not negatively but in terms of what you are making possible through your choices. We talk about the most common arguments or pitfalls around money and strategies to overcome them.

SFP 037 | How Mental Illness Impacts A Marriage; Supporting a Spouse with Mental Illness; Recognizing An Unhealthy Marriage Versus a Harmful Marriage - With Dr Charity Byers Apr 21, 2021

In any given year, 20% of adults will be struggling with mental illness. That means a lot of marriages are impacted at some point during the marriage. Sometimes it can destroy a marriage when we see only the illness and not the person we once knew and loved. Or perhaps the burden is too much for the supporting spouse. How can partners help each other during these hard times? What if there are kids involved? What if one spouse refuses to get help, or is actually harming himself or others in the family? Then what? We tackle all of these questions in this episode with Dr Charity Byers. As a clinical psychologist who has helped couples sort through this she has so much valuable wisdom to share.

SFP 036 | The Tech Solution with Dr Shimi Kang: How To Address Toxic Tech Use In Your Family; What Happens In The Brain When Kids Are Addicted To Tech; And Why Being a Dolphin Is Better Than Being a Jellyfish. Apr 07, 2021

Technology can be wonderful and it has made our lives easier in so many ways - even in the current pandemic. Yet it is also the "fire of our times" and a real flashpoint for many families. Why is that? Child Psychiatrist and author Dr Shimi Kang talks about this from a brain science perspective and explains how the various neurochemicals in our brain are impacted by technology use, even to the point of addiction. She describes some very practical ways we can shift our tech diet from "junk food" to "health food". Afterwards access her free resources in our shownotes.

SFP 035 | Connected Parenting with Jennifer Kolari: How to Raise a Great Kid; the CALM Technique As a Powerful Parenting Strategy Mar 17, 2021

Limit setting with your child can feel like a parenting task that creates distance between you and your child. Jennifer Kolari is a child and family therapist who created a therapeutic model that encourages parents to treat kids with compassion while supporting behavioural change from the inside out. She teaches a method with the acronym CALM, which she explains in this conversation with Toni and Dr. Rob. These teachings along with mirroring and her overall philosophy of bringing out the best in both parents and kids have resulted in wonderful changes in the families she's worked with.

SFP 034 | Mona Delahooke on Understanding Children's Behaviour Better; Polyvagal Theory; Top-down versus Bottom-Up Behaviour; and Why Children Must Feel Safe At All Times Mar 03, 2021

Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells to prevent a blowup at home? Does a child's behaviour come out of the blue? Child psychologist Mona Delahooke explains all of these things to us. Delving into Polyvagal Theory and past over-simplified "checklist" behavioural medicine, Mona urges us to see behaviour in a deeper and more holistic way. Once we understand where a child's behaviour is coming from, then we can start to address it in a meaningful way. The science of children's behaviour is shifting and it is vital we grasp this if we want to help children grow up to be resilient and empathic, and live meaningful lives.

SFP 033 | Jon Acuff interviews Toni and Carey Nieuwhof on How A Marriage Can Move From Despair to Thriving, How To Leave Unhappiness Instead of Your Spouse, And Toni's Insights As A Family Law Mediator And A Former Divorce Attorney Feb 17, 2021

Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed or disconnected in your marriage? Worried how this is impacting the kids? Do you wonder if maybe splitting up is better than continuing on? Then this is an episode you won't want to miss! Toni and Carey Nieuwhof reflect together on how a marriage can become empty, and offer practical advice on how to turn it around. As a family law mediator and former divorce attorney Toni shares her insights in her new book Before You Split. This honest and open conversation will instil hope - no matter where your marriage is at.

SFP 032 | How Parenting Styles Create Shame; What "Tangled" Teaches About Shame; Why Couples Should Ask Each Other About Their Families of Origin When Starting Out Together; And Creating an Atmosphere of Acceptance - With Craig Brannan Feb 03, 2021

We've had a couple of conversations over the past year about shame with Dr. Craig Brannan, and here we continue digging deeper. Craig shares some specific ways that parents (usually unintentionally) create shame in their kids. He also brings to light a song featured in the movie, Tangled, that demonstrates statements that invalidate kids. It's never too late to take action to break generational cycles of parenting that cause shame. Craig shares how he has used personal failure and confession to strengthen his relationships with his adult kids. After discussing parenting, we shift the focus to the ways shame shows up in marriage, as extensions of the quality of attachments with parents. He suggests ways and approaches that help couples gain insight into each other's behaviour based on their family of origin experiences. Creating an atmosphere of acceptance and responding to your spouse's prior trauma with empathy can make such a difference in a marriage.

SFP 031 | Mental Health In COVID Times with Sissy Goff - How To Distinguish Normal Teen Behaviour From Real Mental Health Issues; Why A Good Counsellor Is So Important; And How Friends Can Best Support Each Other Jan 20, 2021

This past year has been so hard for families. With lockdowns, stay-at-home orders and closed schools, it has been hard for parents and children to adjust. Mental health issues have increased sharply. What can we do to help our teens? It's such a pleasure to have anxiety expert, counsellor and best-selling author Sissy Goff back with us again to shed some light on this question and share with us her advice to help us through these difficult times.

SFP 030 | Autism with Dr Barry Prizant - A Unique Perspective On Understanding Neurodiversity Jan 06, 2021

Autism has a well-defined set of diagnostic criteria. However, the behaviours often serve a purpose and if we take the time to ask "why?" it will lead to a deeper understanding of the person with an autism diagnosis. Dr Prizant has worked with people with autism for decades. In this conversation he challenges us to see autism in a new way.

SFP 029 | Grieving the Loss of a Baby or Child; Handling the Impact of Grief on Marriage; Best Ways to Support Others Through their Grief - with Candy McVicar Dec 16, 2020

If you've suffered the loss of a baby or child, or someone close to you has, we believe this conversation will help. Devoted advocate for grieving parents, Candy McVicar experienced the loss of her first baby at 33 weeks gestation. She's committed to assisting other parents who've lost children, raising awareness of the types of care and support that help people heal, and helping your marriage & family survive such tragic loss.

SFP 028 | Dr Russell Barkley on All Things ADHD; How ADHD Relates To Sleep, Diet & Driving; Diagnosing and Treating ADHD; And Taking Charge of ADHD by Becoming An Executive Parent Dec 02, 2020

What is ADHD exactly? Aren't all kids normally a little hyperactive? Can it be due to too much sugar in the diet? Should my teenager with ADHD be driving? Do stimulant medications actually work? If you have ever asked any of these questions, this episode is for you! We speak with Dr Russell Barkley - foremost expert on ADHD - on how ADHD is actually a difficulty with self-regulation which impacts all areas of life. In this information-packed episode, we explore how it can be managed so that you and your child can thrive.

SFP 027 | Lysa TerKeurst on Forgiving What You Can't Forget; Practical Steps for Healing the Wounds that Threaten Your Marriage; How to Make Your Decision to Forgive Real and Lasting Nov 18, 2020

If you've been married any number of years, you've probably at least started to question the naive optimism you entered your life together with. Forgiveness? We're so much in sync, yes we'll need it but we're good. We've got this! Even if you agree that you might face hard times at some point in your marriage, in the back of your mind you really don't think you'll ever have life-rocking grievances you need to forgive each other for. Fast forward several years and suddenly there's the affair, or the porn or alcohol addiction...and then, forgiveness becomes the issue. We're so grateful for Lysa TerKeurst's honestly and transparency about her personal experience walking the path of forgiveness toward her husband and others, and for the wealth of wisdom she has garnered and shares so that we, too, can find strength and healing in our close relationships.

SFP 026 | Homeschooling Pro-tips; How to Help Your Child Learn From Home; Keeping the End Goals of Education in Mind Nov 04, 2020

Are you one of the many parents dealing with your kids learning from home? Some parents we've been talking to are homeschooling their kids for the first time. Others are dealing with helping their kids learn online from home. While both these scenarios have significant differences, there are common elements. Today, we pick the brain of an experienced educator and homeschooler, Erin Clark. She shares her approaches, including how she organizes and leads her 3 kids through their education and how she keeps the process of learning fresh and alive. We hope this episode helps lift the overwhelm and equips you to guide your child's journey of learning and you, enjoying the ride!

SFP 025 | Ian Morgan Cron on How Knowing Your Personality Type Can Transform Your Marriage and Your Parenting; And Applying The Enneagram Personality Assessment Tool With Carey & Toni Nieuwhof and Rob & Rose Meeder Oct 21, 2020

Wow we had fun with this episode! We wanted to make our conversation with Ian Morgan Cron and the Enneagram personality assessment super practical for you in this episode. So we distilled all the best from our recent conversation about marriage and parenting and then we find out how two married couples (yup - your hosts Rob and Toni and their spouses) work this into the fabric of their everyday lives. We hope this inspires you to "know yourself" as you work on all the important relationships in your lives!

SFP 024 | Is Screen Use Harming your Kids?; Curbing the Impacts of Screen Use on Your Family Life; Screens, Brain Development and Critical Relationship Skills - With Arlene Pellicane Oct 07, 2020

How much screen use is okay? How can you ensure your kid's digital exposure benefits their development without causing harm? How do you guide your kids to develop life skills such as attention, appreciation and the ability to apologize when tech-driven communication trends tend to oppose these skills? Screen use and social media has been on the rise for years, and although technology has opened up new possibilities for growth for our kids, it has at the same time introduced significant dangers for kids and serious challenges for parents. Hear from Arlene Pellicane about practical solutions that help you set your kids up for life with strong relational skills while also gaining benefits from the tech world.

SFP 023 | How Childhood Trauma Rewires the Developing Brain; Tolerable Stress Versus Toxic Stress; and The Devastating Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse with Dr Michael Gurian Sep 23, 2020

Childhood trauma is devastating. When a child's brain develops it is exquisitely sensitive to stress - before and after birth. Stress hormones literally rewire the brain, affect healthy attachment, and impair the development of pathways that promote self-regulation. This means that when we see highly dysregulated behaviour it is often due to childhood trauma. In this episode we talk with psychologist Dr Michael Gurian about different types of trauma and how they affect child development - causing not only mental health issues but also physical illness even decades later. Learn more about the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study and what you can do to prevent the harmful effect of ACEs in your own children. Dr Gurian also shares his own experience with childhood sexual abuse. (Please be aware that we speak frankly about sexual abuse in this episode).

SFP 022 | Preventing Shame from Developing in Your Kids; Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children; Creating Strong Parent - Infant Bonds with Craig Brannan Sep 09, 2020

There's a lot of talk about how adult behaviour is driven by the underlying desire to mask shame, but when the rubber hits the road and you're parenting babies or young children, what can you do to prevent shame from developing in your own kids? While there's still so much undiscovered territory on this topic, there are some super practical ways that will help parents with the task of raising emotionally aware and responsive kids. We welcome Dr. Craig Brannan back to our podcast to uncover some of the research and to share his real life experiences as he raises his adopted infant daughter to develop emotional security as opposed to shame.

SFP 021 | Raising Kids with an Instinct for Racial Justice; Lifestyle and Anti-racism; Related Parenting Best Practices and Pitfalls - with Dr Bryan Loritts and Ashlee Eiland Aug 24, 2020

Ever wonder how you're going to move beyond exposing your kids to educational materials, when you look around and see no Black people in your neighbourhood? How do we as parents act as change agents to instill attitudes of anti-racism in the next generation? Today we have that conversation with Ashlee Eiland and Dr. Bryan Loritts - both pastors and both generously willing to talk to us about what they've experienced and observed as best practices and potential pitfalls for parents who care about racial equality.

SFP 020 | How to Get Beyond the "I'm Sorry" That Falls Flat; How to Effectively Apologize, Forgive Each Other and Move Closer in Your Marriage - With Dr Jennifer Thomas Aug 05, 2020

Have you ever left an argument with your husband or wife feeling unsatisfied - that their apology was lame? On the other hand, has your spouse ever accused you of saying "I'm sorry" but not really meaning it? Yet, we know that not making amends leaves us open to being blocked in our marriage by walls that are built of unresolved hurts. In this eipsode we talk to Dr Jennifer Thomas - a psychologist who has studied and written extensively about the relational skill of apologizing. Dr Thomas explains how we all speak a different apology language; how we need to practice this regularly with our partners; and model and teach this to our kids.

SFP 019 | Screen Time, Social Media, Technology and Your Kids - WIth Jeff and Wendy Henderson Jul 22, 2020

Should I monitor my teenager's texts? Should I buy my 11 year-old a smartphone? How much screen time should my son get? If these questions resonate with you, then this episode with Jeff and Wendy Henderson will offer some practical guidance. It's not easy being a parent in a tech-filled world. There are so many good things about technology and the various social media platforms, but kids and teenagers are especially vulnerable to the pitfalls and dangers they present as well. As gifted speakers and authors, but foremost as parents themselves, Jeff and Wendy Henderson have a heart for families and communities and they strongly believe that kids need our guidance to help them navigate this world of technology. Their practical common-sense advice on this topic will help move your family to better place in cyberspace.

SFP 018 | With Dr Gary Chapman - On How COVID-19 Has Affected Relationships; Five Simple Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage Today; And Why Taking The First Step To Improving Your Marriage Is So Hard But So Important Jul 08, 2020

The pandemic has been a crisis on so many levels. Not surprisingly, it has had a real impact on our closest relationships as well - for better or for worse. Today Dr Gary Chapman - author of The Five Love Languages - teaches us five simple ways we can strengthen our marriages, even when it feels like we are stuck at home together. There's actually no better time than this to really work on our marriages and our parenting relationships. From years of experience counselling couples, Dr Chapman shares his wealth of advice with us to "guide our various ships through the same storm" so we can emerge on the other side of this pandemic with healthier relationships than ever before.

SFP 017 | Avoiding Toxic Conflict as a Couple; How to Make Family Fights Safe for Kids; Dodging the Lasting Impacts of Poor Communication - With Lisa Emms Wice Jun 24, 2020

Do you lie awake at night wondering whether the fighting between you will impact your kids? Do you feel stuck at an impasse over a marriage or parenting issue and not sure what to do next? Experienced mediator Lisa Emms Wice has helped countless people up their peacemaking skills. She shares her wealth of wisdom for couples and parents alike. Lisa is a wiz at helping couples move past their impasses, especially when there are children's issues involved. Take some tips from Lisa and turn what might have been an ugly scene into a better experience for everyone.

SFP 016 | With Dr. Kara Powell - On The Paradox Of Teens Growing Up More Quickly and More Slowly At the Same Time; Why Anxiety in Teenagers is Increasing; And A Super Practical Approach To Partnering With Our Teens Jun 17, 2020

If you are a parent about to enter, or in the middle of, the teenage years - this episode is for you. We have an open and honest conversation with Dr. Kara Powell - Executive Director of the Fuller Youth Institute. Kara has done extensive research into teenagers and anxiety. Although she approaches the issue from a spiritual perspective, her insights apply to teenagers and parenting in any situation. This episode will encourage and inspire you but, most importantly, make you hopeful for the next generation as you learn to parent them in an anxiety-provoking culture.

SFP 015 | On Perinatal Mental Health - How Depression and Anxiety Can Steal Away The Joy of Motherhood; How Fathers Also Struggle With Mental Health in The Perinatal Period; And How Perinatal Mental Health Is About So Much More Than Postpartum Depression Jun 03, 2020

Expecting a baby and giving birth is supposed to be a happy occasion and a time of love and bonding. For so many parents however, it is a time of struggle and deep emotional pain, like being in a fog. The accompanying guilt and loss of function can rob a mother or father of the opportunity to nurture and bond with their newborn baby and strengthen family relationships. Yet perinatal mental health is often overlooked, despite the fact that it is the most common health complication of the perinatal period. Today we shine a light on this issue with two women - Jaime Charlebois and Patricia Tomasi - who have not only lived through their own experiences but have also become advocates and experts for this cause. If you've had a baby and are struggling with mood or anxiety, or know someone who is, this episode will bring hope and validation.

SFP 014 | With Dr Tom Phelan - Why 1-2-3 Magic as a Strategy is Effective; How Routines Promote Positive Behaviours; And Why Having Fun One-on-One with each Child is Important May 20, 2020

There have been many books written about effective discipline in children but few as popular as Dr Tom Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic. In this episode we talk with Dr Phelan and draw upon his decades of experience helping families. We discover that 1-2-3 Magic is about much more than simply counting. We delve into why this simple technique works - how it allows children to know when they have not met an expectation, then gives them the opportunity to turn it around before facing a consequence. But Dr Phelan's method is about so much more - promoting positive (or "start") behaviours and developing a healthy long-term relationship with your child. If you've ever been frustrated by constant negative interactions with your child and want to turn it around so that you love being home, this episode is for you.

SFP 013 | With Ian Morgan Cron (Part 2) - How Knowing Your Enneagram Number Can Improve Your Parenting; Your Child's Personality Development; and What Parents of Certain Enneagram Types Need to Be Mindful Of May 13, 2020

As parents, we get a front row seat as our children develop and mature. We go through all the highs (and some lows, too) as their individual personalities come to light, and sometimes clash with our own. In this episode we discover how childrens' personalities are shaped and how they are influenced by our personalities. In this second part of our discussion with author and Enneagram teacher Ian Morgan Cron, we delve into how our personalities intersect with our children's and why knowing what motivates us is so important to becoming an effective and self-aware parent. We review the nine pesonalities of the Enneagram and highlight some personality types which may represent a challenge for parenting. Listen as Ian Morgan Cron explains how knowing yourself better can help you to know (and parent) your children better.

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