Sibling Relationship Lab

SRL036: Apologizing Backwards May 14, 2022

Apologizing is hard. Teaching your kids to apologize is even harder! But you might be making the task more difficult than it has to be by the way you explain it to your kids. If your kids struggle to apologize and to be sincere in their apologies, I'd like to recommend that you teach them to apologize backwards!

SRL035: Siblings Babysitting Siblings May 03, 2022

One of the hardest parts about having young children is the challenge of finding babysitters and the cost involved in hiring them. But what if your older children could handle the babysitting? Today, we're diving into just that topic - how do you know if or when your kids are ready to babysit younger siblings, and what needs to happen to make that a workable setup? We'll talk theory and practical tips, too!

SRL034: Teaching Kids Respect Apr 08, 2022

I often hear from parents who ask for help on teaching their kids about respect. But when I sat down to write a podcast epidose on that topic, I had a bit of a light-bulb moment, and my planning took a little bit of an unexpected turn!

Listen in as I share something that I think will have a major impact on the way you teach your kids about respect, and how you can model it in your home, too!

SRL033: Common Sense Modesty Mar 18, 2022

Modesty is a "hot topic" (no pun intended) in Christian circles. You'll hear lots of talk about fabric and hemlines and necklines, temptation and stumbling blocks and female virtures.

But have we gotten off track in the way we talk to our kids (especially our girls) about modesty? What have we lost in the conversation that needs to be revisited, and what are some of the potential pitfalls of the current discussion?

In this episode, we're revisiting something I touched on briefly in Episode 15 to add more clarity and context. I'd love to know what you think!

SRL032: Why Common Grace Matters Mar 04, 2022

In the last episode of the podcast we took some time to define Common Grace. In this episode, we're diving a little deeper into how a misunderstanding of common grace can lead to problems, and a proper understanding of common grace can lead to ... freedom!

SRL031: What is Common Grace? Feb 22, 2022

Common Grace may sound like an intangible theological term. But understanding this idea is essential to careful and wise parenting. This week, we're taking a look at what common grace is and the examples we see of it in Scripture.

SRL Season 2 Intro Feb 04, 2022

It's been a long time. Too long! I'm so excited to get back to podcasting. And I've got a lot of thoughts that I've been chewing on that I can't wait to share with you. I'll tell you a little bit about what I've been up to in the meantime, and some of the things I have planned for this season!

SRL030: Parenting Advice: Take It or Leave It? Nov 01, 2020

Once you become a parent, you can pretty much count on changing diapers, losing sleep ... and fielding lots and lots of parenting advice from other directions! Parenting books and blogs are just the beginning. We might also get advice from friends, relatives, or well-meaning strangers! What does it look like to be teachable and open to correction while also having the confidence to make decisions for yourself and your own unique family? Here are five things to keep in mind.

SRL029: The Best Way to Prevent a Sibling from Listening Oct 10, 2020

Nobody likes to be wrong or to hear correction and criticism from someone else (maybe especially not from a sibling!). But there's one thing siblings can do that almost guarantees the other person won't be able to listen well. We're talking about that today!

SRL 028: 5 Strategies for Internal Motivation Sep 26, 2020

Are you tired of running around after your kids and reminding them to do every last think they are supposed to be managing? In the last episode, we talked about behavior modification - rewards and consequences. While those tools have their place, they can't bring about lasting heart change. Today, I'll share five tips for building internal motivation that will benefit your children for their whole lives!

SRL027: Are You Over-Focused on Behavior Modification? Sep 12, 2020

How do you know if you're practicing gospel-centered, heart-focused parenting ... or if you've slipped into over-relying on behavior modification? We'll talk about some of the red flags that will help you to see where you've been off track. And then we'll discuss a basic framework for re-focusing on a heart-centered approach!

SRL 026: Handling the Overwhelm of Sibling Conflict Jun 13, 2020

In Episode 25, we talked about how emotional sibling conflict can be for moms. We talked about healthy ways to process and understand those emotions.

But what if you can't even get enough of a break from the conflict to handle or manage the emotions? In this episode, we'll talk about some quick-fixes to reset the cycle of bickering and arguing and give everyone (mom included) some room to breathe and cool down!

SRL 025: Why Sibling Conflict is So Emotional for Moms May 29, 2020

No mom likes sibling conflict. In fact, most of us dread it.

But have you ever stepped back to ask yourself why? Why is sibling conflict so stressful for moms? Why does it trigger painful mom guilt and self-doubt?

Let's take a closer look at the emotional triggers and how we can process them in healthy and gospel-centered ways!

SRL 024: The Only Child May 16, 2020

Kind of an odd topic for a sibling podcast, right? Why would people listening to a sibling podcast need to hear about raising an only child? And why would a person raising an only child be listening to a sibling podcast?

That's what I thought, too. But then I started exploring this topic at the suggestion of someone I hold in high respect and, well, it turns out that this is quite the relevant topic for us.

I often hear from moms who grew up without siblings and wonder if they are handicapped in their ability to manage sibling conflict. And as I started researching this topic further, I realized it was quite relevant!

I'll share what I discovered and my big ah-ha moment, too!

SRL 023: Social Distancing and Sibling Conflict Apr 04, 2020

During this strange time of quarantine and social distancing, you might be noticing and up-tick in sibling conflict in your home.

You are not alone.

Lots of moms are adapting to new schedules and routines. And lots of kids are processing changes and disappointments, too.

Here are a few thoughts to keep you afloat during these - or any other - challenging, unusual circumstances.

SRL 022: Siblings and Screen Time Part 2 Mar 14, 2020

In this follow-up conversation, we're continuing our discussion about siblings and screen time with some practical tips and approaches for handling the drama during or post-screen time.

Plus, we're also talking about some of the benefits (yes, positives!) of screen time for sibling relationships!

(This episode builds on the framework we established in Episode 21, so if you haven't already, go back and listen to Episode 21 first.)

SRL 021: Siblings and Screen Time - Part 1 Feb 29, 2020

Whenever the topic of screen time comes up, I often hear moms say, "My kids fight more after they've had screen time." And I believe them.

But let's dig a little deeper. Is the digital demonic? Let's consider this topic from a Biblical worldview. What does the Bible have to say about screen time conflict?

Plus, we'll talk about the popular idea of a "screen free week" or "screen free summer". Does it really do any good? Or is there a hidden danger?

SRL 020: Loving When It's Hard Feb 15, 2020

You tell your kids they're supposed to love each other. But how is one child supposed to love a sibling who's being mean or even violent? What does it look like to be kind to someone who isn't being very kind to you. And is that even something reasonable to require of your children?

SRL 019: Who is to Blame? Feb 01, 2020

When there's a conflict or when one child gets mad at another kid, we're very careful to make sure our kids take responsibility for their actions. And we usually try to figure out who is to blame for the upset.

But is it possible that no one is to blame? Or that the behavior in question is just one small piece of the puzzle?

SRL 018: Rights vs. Reasons Nov 15, 2019

Sometimes it's clear whose turn it is. Or maybe someone has a right to something because it is his own personal property. But what about those times when it isn't so clear? Do your kids know how to negotiate effectively? We'll talk about some important elements of healthy negotiation ... plus the number one thing that will put the breaks on a successful negotiation.

SRL 017: Taking Turns Nov 02, 2019

One way to avoid unnecessary conflicts between siblings is to take turns. But what if you can't remember whose turn it is? Here are some ideas.

SRL 016: Bad Examples for Siblings Oct 19, 2019

Parents are often concerned about television shows or books that are a bad example to their children of how to handle relationships and the effect that might have on the sibling relationships in their home.

In this episode, we'll talk about that - how to recognize the bad examples, what story lines might actually be helpful, and one particular bad example that might not even be on your radar.

SRL 015: Different Rules for Different Kids? Oct 05, 2019

If you've got a number of kids, you might have had trouble balancing the rules you make or the rulings you hand down. Do they have to be the same for everyone in order to be fair? Also are rules just for kids? Do grown-ups (a.k.a. parents) have to keep the same rules we make for our kids? And if we don't is that hypocrisy? Let's chat about those things!

SRL 014: The Worst Thing That Could Happen Sep 21, 2019

Of course you want to protect your child from physical or emotional pain. That's part of why God gave children parents - for their safety and well-being. But what do we convey to our children about the things that are most dangerous to them? What would your kids say is the worst thing that could happen?

SRL 013: Gossip Sep 07, 2019

So your kids are talking to each other about their siblings. Or they're talking to you about their siblings. Or you're talking to them about their siblings. And not all of it is positive. Does that make it gossip? Let's talk about what gossip is ... and what it isn't.

SRL 012: Truth and Lies Aug 24, 2019

Most if not all families deal with a lying problem at some point. In this episode, we'll talk about how to understand the possible motives behind this struggle, how to encourage truth-telling, and how to talk to your other children about whether or not they can trust a person who has a history of lying.

SRL 011: Good Siblings and Bad Siblings Aug 10, 2019

Do you have one child who seems to be the center of most of the conflict in your home? Do you have one child who seems more difficult to parent than all the other children put together? Is there one child that you're sure draws the stares of the neighbors or the other shoppers at the grocery store? Let's talk about good siblings and bad siblings.

SRL 010: When Pretending Isn't Fun Anymore Jul 26, 2019

You know that it's important to help your children distinguish between real and pretend. You know that the need to understand the different between make-believe and "real life". But what happens when someone gets hurt or upset during pretend play. Does it still "count" even if they were just pretending?

SRL 009: "I Was Just Kidding!" Jul 13, 2019

You're listening as they tease and joke with each other. It seems harmless enough. You want them to have a sense of humor. But inevitably, one of them gets his or he feelings hurt and you've got yet another fight on your hands.

What do you do when your child says "I was just kidding!"?

SRL 008: Positive Rules Jun 29, 2019

Have you ever felt like something was missing in your sibling guidance to your children? They aren't technically breaking any rules. Nobody actually did anything wrong ... on purpose. But still, it seems like there's a loophole. You might be missing the positive rules, or the positive aspects of God's law.

SRL 007: When Hubby Doesn't Handle Sibling Conflict "Right" Jun 15, 2019

You've thought a lot about sibling conflict. Maybe you've read some books, or some blog posts. Maybe you've even listen to some podcasts (wink, wink). But what if your hubby isn't on board? What if he doesn't adopt your methods or even has his own opinion about how sibling conflicts should be mediated? What's a girl to do? How can you talk with your husband about this important but sensitive topic?

SRL 006: Fear of Regret Jun 01, 2019

{LAST CHANCE to get on the waiting list for the Sibling Opposition Solution Online Course. Flash Sale for those on the waiting list opens 6/4! Go to SiblingRelationshipLab.com to join the waiting list.}

Do you fear that you'll mess up your kids? Do you worry that you'll look back on your parenting and have regrets? What's the different between learning from your mistakes and regretting your choices?

SLR 005: That's Not Fair! May 17, 2019

You want to be a good parent. You want to do what's best in each situation. But sometimes, the kids don't agree with your choices. What do you do when they claim "That's not fair!"

Are you playing favorites? What do they mean when they said "fair"? Should you try to convince them that you're right? Let's talk about three things you can do to help in this situation.

SRL 004: When They Say "I Hate You" May 03, 2019

It cuts a mama right to the heart to hear one of her children say "I hate you!" to a sibling. But what do our children actually mean when they say that? Is it the death of a loving relationship? And how can you, as a parent, respond wisely when your child is dealing with strong emotions like anger and fear?

SRL 003: Should Siblings Be Best Friends? Apr 20, 2019

If you're like a lot of parents, one of the reasons you had a second (third, fourth, ...) kid was because you wanted them to be friends. You imagined that your kids would be best buddies. But now? You watch how they play with the neighborhood kids. They are super polite and kind. They love being with their friends. But when they get home, the claws come out and they treat each other like bitter enemies. Have you missed the mark? Will they ever speak to each other as adults? Should siblings be best friends?

SRL 002: Sibling Parenting "Between the Lines" Apr 20, 2019

Sometimes we discuss parenting concepts at if we need to be on the "right" side of a line. Don't be *that* kind of parent, articles tell us. Instead, be *this* kind of parent.

But what about when we hear conflicting opinions? Should we be hyper-involved and always available? Or should we be hands-off and foster independence through tough love? And, to get right to the point, what does that look like when it comes to sibling conflict?

Is there a "straight and narrow" way to parent the siblings in your home? Let's talk about what sibling parenting and mediating sibling conflict look like in light of the gospel and in relationship with Jesus Christ.

SRL 001: Welcome to the Lab Apr 09, 2019

I believe that the gospel transforms sibling conflict from obstacles to opportunities. I believe that the home is the relationship lab of life. It is our children's first, best, hands-on experience of the gospel in action.

Come join me as we explore what it looks like to parent the siblings in our homes in light of the gospel and in dependence on Christ. I'll tell you a bit about a pivotal moment in my home that helped to shift my perspective on what gospel-centered sibling parenting looks like and share with you my heart and vision for this podcast going forward. Thanks so much for joining me!

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