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Shameless Leadership

Welcome to Shameless Leadership! This show is for women, transgender people, non-binary folks, and allies who are committed to advancing their leadership and the leadership of those around them. In this space, we believe everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, valued, and supported. Our mission is to help you foster these feelings within your own circles of influence to build trust, psychological safety, and a culture of belonging.
In each episode, we dive into essential topics impacting women in leadership – everything from shutting down your inner critic and imposter syndrome to overcoming perfectionism to using your voice in new ways to advocate for yourself, your ideas, and other folks carrying marginalized identities. You’ll hear practical tips, effective strategies, and inspiring stories that will not only enhance your leadership skills but also broaden your perspective to become a more confident, thoughtful, and empathetic leader.
Our stories come from people carrying identities who are often underrepresented, underestimated, and excluded. By sharing their experiences, we aim to provide you with invaluable lessons that will transform your leadership journey. We are thrilled to have you join this community of Shameless Leaders who are actively creating a world where everyone, regardless of gender, can intentionally lead through a more curious, compassionate, and inclusive lens.

Latest Episodes:

130: Lauren Pak: Life with Body Dysmorphic Disorder May 24, 2017

Show notes

Lauren is on a mission to bring inclusivity and empathy to the forefront of fitness and health. She co-owns and operates Achieve Fitness in Boston with her husband, Jason, where they work daily to fulfill that mission. Lauren has been a personal trainer and strength coach for over 10 years, and she draws on her own past battle with body dysmorphic disorder to relate to and help others who may be going through similar struggles. When Lauren's not at the gym, she can be found spending time with her dog, Diesel, playing football, or relaxing on the beach in Cape Cod.

Lauren wrote an article on her experience with Body Dysmorphic Disorder a few months ago and I was just blown away by her honesty and openness with her experience. I would venture to guess that most women have had body image struggles at one time or another. In Lauren’s experience, her struggles became pervasive and paralyzing.

I found myself able to relate to Lauren’s story in many ways. If you’ve ever struggled with body image, eating disorders and/or disordered eating, I think you’ll be inspired by Lauren’s journey.

Listen in to hear Lauren share:

What daily life is like with BDD
How she was paralyzed by BDD and her weight even though she was never actually overweight
Why it is so hard for people with BDD and body image struggles to talk openly about it
How sharing her story was a crucial part of her healing
Her recommendations to other women who are struggling (…and why she doesn’t give advice)
How she wants to revolutionize the gym experience for women and marginalized populations

Links Mentioned:

Achieve Fitness website: www.achievefitnessboston.com

Personal website: www.lauren_pak.com

Facebook (business): www.facebook.com/achievefitnessboston

Facebook (personal): www.facebook.com/laurenp22

Instagram (business): www.instagram.com/achievefitnessboston

Instagram (personal): www.instagram.com/laurenpak22

Lauren’s blog post: My Experience with Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Depression

Book: Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

Book: The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder by Katharine A. Phillips

Website: https://bdd.iocdf.org/about-bdd/ (an awesome resource that provides you with professionals as well as groups and programs based on your geographical location.)

Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

129: The 4 C's of (Re)Building Your Identity May 22, 2017

Show notes

By now you have heard me share all about how motherhood knocked me on my butt – BIG TIME. It took me longer than I like to admit to adjust to my new life as a mom and to resolve myself to the idea that I would never get my old life back.

My old life wasn’t really any better than my new mommy life (except for there was more time for sleep and wine) – but my old life was a life of predictability and all things KNOWN. So, basically the opposite of motherhood.

Over the last few years, I have been able to see how one rebuilds their identity – because I rebuilt mine. The coolest part of the journey is that one the other side of the fear of the unknown is power and strength I didn’t know I had.

Listen in to learn The 4 Cs of (Re)Building Your Identity:

Character
Courage
Collaboration
Confidence

Walking through these 4 areas will give you the direction you need to build a life you love without feeling overwhelmed (and/or terrified…)

Links Mentioned:

SMA Episode 69: How to Be A Nasty Woman

Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)

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128: Tay N Val: Soul Purpose May 17, 2017

Show notes

Tay & Val are the spiritual consultants and soul mentors that executive coaches of Fortune 500s and founders of multimillion-dollar public companies go to, to answer their "What's Next?" question. Everything they do is grounded in the intention to help you lead your best life.

Award-winning filmmakers, Tay and Val left successful media careers, closed their production company, wrapped work on their nationally televised television series P.S. I’m Sorry, and set off to travel the world by bicycle for a documentary project to inspire dreams. Six years, three continents, more than 400 public talks and national radio and TV appearances (in twelve countries), and 2 TEDx talks later, Tay and Val settled in the Pacific Northwest as City Artists of Seattle. Committed to helping visionary leaders meet their call to greatness with clear-eyed vision, groundedness, and deep trust - they work with leaders and businesses around the globe who hear the call to rise and say yes.

More recently, their work has also appeared on Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, and Thrive Global. They are also co-founders of M Meditation. Their signature program, Propel Your Purpose, sherpas a soulful tribe of multipassionate, multitalented, and multifaceted millennials (at heart) to bring their whole selves to the table, create a thriving life, and make the impact you’ve always envisioned for yourself and the world.

Listen in to hear Tay n Val share:

Why they left their award winning careers to journey the world on bikes
How one man’s dream changed their dreams forever
The power of their pivotal question, “What’s Your Dream?”
How an 8 year old girl helped us define our #soulpurpose and set us on a path aligned to it
The surprising (and enlightening!) thing Moms around the world shared with us, that shifted our guilt for being the daughters who left home to live our dreams

Links Mentioned:

Discover your #soulpurpose: Taynval.com/soulpurpose

Video: How 2 Ordinary Girls Chose To Be Extraordinary

Video: Tay & Val TEDx talk

Tay & Val on Facebook

Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)

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127: Navigating the Messy Middle May 15, 2017

Show notes

Today I’m going to give you my Bloomsday Race Report and share my weakness – The Messy Middle…

Whenever I set out out to accomplish something I start out 100% inspired, motivated, excited, strong, powerful, eager, peppy, spirited – and eagerly anticipating success.

Then I get about 60 % toward my goal and I CRASH.

This is where things get uncomfortable, uncertain, not-so-strong, less powerful, way less motivating, uncertain and ugly. I often feel self doubt, fear, and negative self talk.

Welcome to the Messy Middle. Have you ever been???

Once I push through the Messy Middle I once again feel optimism, motivation, excitement - all those initial feelings come flooding back. I feel powerful as I approach my finish line or deadline.

When you’re in that Messy Middle, you want to BAIL. Maybe you actually do bail sometimes. I know I have.

Listen in to hear the strategies I use to take control of my Messy Middle and reach my goals (including my Messy Middle at Bloomsday last weekend). These are simple things that will take you far.

The Messy Middle is where you will make something of your goals and dreams OR where you will lay them down to die. The choice is yours. Understand the power of that decision.

You can do anything – but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do anything. It’s never easy. It’s rarely pretty. But it’s always worth it.

Lastly, SHOUT OUT to the Bethany and Katie, the mamas in the photo for this episode. They were the best Bloomsday running buddies!

Links Mentioned:

Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

126: Melissa DaSilva: Pride Connections May 10, 2017

Show notes

Melissa DaSilva is a clinical social worker and founder of the group practice East Coast Mental Wellness in Providence, RI. She serves as an individual and couples therapist, as well as a group facilitator. She has spent many years working in schools as a school social worker and has an upcoming podcast titled Pride Connections.

Melissa is an expert in the field of transgender topics, and works with many trans and nonbinary youth to provide support throughout their transition. She collaborates with outside providers to ensure comprehensive care for those who wish to pursue physical transition. Melissa enjoys working with clients on LGBTQ topics, academic issues, bipolar disorder, and personality disorders. She also has experience supporting clients with anxiety, depression, and life transitions. Her practice is welcoming towards all genders and sexualities, as well as poly and kink couples. She uses a variety of approaches in her therapy including pet therapy, meditation, and places a lot of focus on sleep and nutritional health. When Melissa isn't running her business she is creating art and selling it at local markets.

Listen in to hear Melissa share:

What all the letters mean in LGBTQQIA (they are all different and all important)
What the terms cisgender, non-binary, gender-expansive and gender fluid mean
The difference between sex and gender
How to talk to explain sexual orientation and gender to kids in very simple terms
How can you and your family be supportive of LGBTQQIA children
How to can you be supportive if you suspect your child might be LGBTQQIA
How to ask someone about their sexual orientation and/or gender expression
How to use gender pronouns correctly and appropriately

Links Mentioned:

Podcast Website: PrideConnections.com

Private Practice Website: eastcoastmentalwellness.com

Melissa’s Email: Melissa@prideconnections.com

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125: Why You're Afraid of Change May 08, 2017

Show notes

Change is the WORST. Or at least that’s what I used to tell myself – for like 30 years.

After becoming a mom I spent a full year feeling completely run over by all the change and unpredictability of my new mommy life. I kept wait for everything to “go back to normal.”

As you can guess – that never happened.

I had to resolve myself to the constant change that is motherhood.

As someone who thrives on routine and predictability, that was a tough pill to swallow. But then I looked at some of ways I had embraced change in other areas of my life over the last 10 years and I was able to slooooooowly start embracing motherhood and change in a new and more positive light.

Before I tell you how to get over your fear of change, let me help you understand why you’re afraid of change:

The known is always more comfortable than the unknown
We live in a fear based culture – so we’re programmed to be afraid of what we do not yet know
We like consistency, predictability and control
We’re scared of failure, mistakes, and of wasting our time and energy

And now – the good stuff - how to get over your fear of change:

Recognize that you are already in constant flux and transition
Consider change an opportunity for a “software upgrade”
Know there will be moments of panic and doubt and possibly a sense of complete failure and/or regret
Know that practicing and embracing change makes it feel less burdensome
Understand that the best way to conquer fear and anxiety is to prove to yourself you CAN do the things you are afraid of
change is not bad – it’s just different

Links Mentioned:

Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for a free 30 day trial)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

124: Sistermixin with Tracey and Jo May 03, 2017

Show notes

Tracey and Joanne are mothers and sisters who are living the healthiest, happiest life possible. Together they created Sistermixin’ to improve their families health and spread the word of their life changing discoveries.

They are on a mission to share how you can improve your health and your life by removing toxic additives and preservatives from your diet.

Their mission all started when Joana’s young daughter was having significant health and behavior issues. Desperate for answers and willing to try anything, Jo removed additives from her daughter’s diet and saw her daughter change before her very eyes.

Shortly after this life changing discovery, Joana shared her tips with Tracey and they have never looked back.

Listen in to hear Tracey and Jo share:

How Jo was able to completely change her daughter’s health and behavior by changing her diet
What kinds of preservatives your kids are eating that you don’t know are harmful
What to look for when reading food labels
What additives should be most avoided
The truth about food dyes and MSG (and how they are hidden everywhere…)
Simple steps to get started with additive free eating
How to support your child’s special eating habits in social settings

Links Mentioned:

Website: sistermixin.com

Podcast: The Whole Circle

Sistermixin on Instagram

Study: Southhampton Study of Food Dyes and Hyperactivity in Children

Course: Additive Free Made Easy

Food App: ChemicalMaze.com

Episode Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use the code SMA30 to get your free 30 day trial)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

123: 5 Tiny Habits to Create Momentum in Your Life May 01, 2017

Show notes

I think one of the hardest parts of motherhood is all. the. things.

I don’t mean physical things – although there is SO MUCH STUFF. Everywhere. Books, legos, art, clothes, balls, more legos, petrified snacks…

But I’m talking more about all the things you need to keep track of on a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly basis. Your brain is constantly firing in multiple directions and that makes it hard to actually forge a path in any one direction for any length of time.

I think this is why we often feel so stuck.

We intend to be really productive, but we get distracted or sucked into something unexpected and our best laid plans fall to the way side. Over and over and over. To the point that we don’t even remember what are best laid plans were….

On a small scale this happens every time we get interrupted by a text or we open out inbox. On a larger scale, this happens when we don’t have built in #tinyhabits to create space in our lives and our heads daily.

In this episode I’ll share 5 quick and simple #tinyhabits that will give you energy and help you create the MOMENTUM you need to move forward in any area of your life you choose!

Links Mentioned:

SMA Episode 102: Scott Colby – Say It With Gratitude

Episode Sponsor: Aaptiv.com (use the code SMA30 to get your free 30 day trial)

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122: Melissa Fox Lehman: Family, Community and Pogo Apr 26, 2017

Show notes

Melissa Fox Lehman (layman) is the CEO and co-founder of Pogo Rides. For the last 15 years, she’s been helping Fortune 50 companies and nonprofits develop strategy and roll-out global programs. She loves developing actionable strategy and seeing those strategies brought to life. When she became a mom she knew she wanted to focus her energies on building something to make life easier for busy parents. This was the genesis for Pogo.

Melissa and her team are committed to helping families find safe and flexible transportation for their school-age children. As a mother of two, she understands the logistical challenges faced by busy parents of busy kids and believes in the power of communities to help each other live fuller and less stressful lives. Safety, community, and ease are the core tenants of Pogo Rides.

I wanted to have Melissa on the show to talk about how her view of work changed after she had kids. She very consciously chose to shift directions and build a business that could support other families. Her professional mission has evolved right along side her path in motherhood, as I think often happens.

Listen in to hear Melissa share:

The power of sharing in your community
Why it’s ok to outsource duties
Why asking for support helps you and your community
How we can create a lot more win/win opportunities among our neighbors
How to revolutionize your carpool network

Links Mentioned:

Website: Pogorides.com

Melissa’s Email: mlehman@pogorides.com

Sponsor: aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for free 30 day trial)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

121: 5 Ways to Be More Kind to Yourself Apr 24, 2017

Show notes

Ok, I’ll admit it… I was hard on myself last week. HARD.

I have a lot going on and I let it get to my head. Sometimes when we have too many things going on we feel we’re not doing any one thing really well. That was me. Just feeling all sorts of mediocre… AND super frazzled.

I had a pity party. I even invited a few people to join me. Luckily, they were kind and helped me get out of my head. I also practiced KINDNESS toward myself.

Being kind to yourself is important. No, it is crucial. Especially when things are chaotic, frantic, overwhelming…

Here are 5 ways to be more kind to yourself when the going gets tough:

Practice personal development, even if just for a few minutes
Create ME time – especially when you don’t think you have it
Catch yourself as you’re falling
Move – sweat, if possible
Ask for help

Links Mentioned:

Book: Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

Book: Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton

Book: The Desire Map By Danielle LaPorte

Book: The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

Book: Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Sponsor: aaptiv.com (use code SMA30 for free 30 day trial)

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