Shameless Leadership

Latest Episodes:

742: 5 Advantages of Positive Thinking Apr 03, 2023

Show notes

The timing of this episode is pretty ironic. I was walking home from dropping Vinnie off at school this morning and couldn’t shake this ominous, anxious feeling. I was thinking about some projects I have coming up and had these little wee bits of self-doubt creeping in. Then I popped on to social media to see that the entire rest of the world 100% had their lives figured out on this Monday morning and my wee bits of self-doubt blossomed into a rapid onset of Comparisonitis.

A few hours later, I sat down to look at my content calendar and see that I’m supposed to talk to you all about positive thinking today. Haha. I see you Universe - just smiling down on me…

So, here’s the thing. Positive thinking is a critically important coping skill and the advantages of positive thinking cannot be overstated. But those of us who tout it certainly are not incapable of waking up with a case of the Mondays, as I did today. The power of positive thinking is that you can use it as a tool to navigate a tough moment or as a way to ground yourself #everydamnday. It can be a cornerstone of your life if you so choose.

When it comes to the long-term integration of positive thinking as a coping skill, the advantages of positive thinking become glaring and beautifully evident. In fact, there are 5 advantages of positive thinking that are especially impactful across your lifetime.

5 Advantages of Positive Thinking:

Resiliency and grit
More rewarding personal and professional lives
Enhanced relationships and kindness toward others
Improved physical health, esp heart health and immunity
Decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety*

*This is definitely not to suggest that positive thinking is a treatment for clinical depression or anxiety. We talk this through in the episode. If you are experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety, please talk to your doctor.

In this episode, I talk you through 5 advantages of positive thinking and 4 ways to use positive thinking as routine coping skills in your daily life.

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

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iHerb: Get your health in check with great products and great pricing. Get 22% off your first order when you use the code SHAMELESS at iherb.com.

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StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

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741: Erika Hayasaki: Somewhere Sisters: Born Together, Raised Apart, Then Reunified Mar 29, 2023

Show notes

Erika Hayasaki is a Shameless Mom of 3. She is the author of Somewhere Sisters, the true story of twin girls who were born in Vietnam separated at birth and raised in different parts of the world. Somewhere Sisters was nominated as an NPR Best Book of 2022. She is also the author of The Death Class, a former 2021-22 Knight-Wallace Reporting Fellow, and a 2018 Alicia Patterson Fellow. She has received awards from the Association of Sunday Feature Editors, the Society for Features Journalism, and the American Society of Newspaper Editors.

Erika’s book is a stunning and captivating story of the intersection of nature vs nurture with twins, interracial adoption, identity, and the meaning of family. This was such a powerful conversation.

Listen in to hear Erika share:

About her book, Somewhere Sisters, the true story of twin girls, born in Vietnam and separated at birth, and raised in different parts of the world
How she reconstructed the sisters Ha and Loan’s stories and their reunion when they were 13
The science around nature vs. nurture from twin studies
The unexpected trauma that can come with twin and adoptee reunification that we don’t see play out in TV and movies
How she had to follow the journalistic truth of each person’s story in the book and not be connected to her own hopes for the girls and the story
The legislative loophole in which international adoptees are not automatically granted citizenship and the push for legislation to change it
The ethical considerations of interracial adoption
How sharing our layered identities with one another allows for a more connected human experience

Links mentioned:

Book: Somewhere Sisters
Erika on Twitter

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

iHerb: Get your health in check with great products and great pricing. Get 22% off your first order when you use the code SHAMELESS at iherb.com.

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Peloton: Get access to a massive workout library and save up to $400 on Bike, Tread, and Row packages before April 2, 2023, at onepeloton.com.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Train Her Game - Free Training: Moms of teen daughter athletes! Help your daughter build confidence and overcome negative mindsets in athletics by attending this free training offered by Breanne Smedley, Host of the Elite Competitor Podcast: https://trainhergame.com/shameless

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740: How to Take Responsibility for Your Triggers Mar 27, 2023

Show notes

I couldn’t help but dig into something I’ve been working on in live time: TRIGGERS.

It seems everybody is talking about their triggers these days - to the point that it’s almost cliche. In fact, the term is used so loosely that it can be insulting to folks who have experienced serious trauma and have triggers that deeply impact their ability to show up and function in the world.

I’ve made no secret about my PTSD diagnosis. Over the last couple of years, I have been exploring this diagnosis in therapy and more recently in a hypnotherapy session. I have learned so much. In today's episode, I’m sharing a bit about what I’ve learned as it relates to the things that trigger me.

It’s important to note that I am not a therapist or a mental health professional. I’m sharing this because I think some of you will be able to relate to and learn from my anecdotal experience.

If this episode triggers you or makes you curious about hypnotherapy, you can reach out to my hypnotherapist Nadia Ahrens at nadiaahrens.com.

Link mentioned:

Hypnotherapist Nadia Ahrens: nadiaahrens.com

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

iHerb: Get your health in check with great products and great pricing. Get 22% off your first order when you use the code SHAMELESS at iherb.com.

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Peloton: Get access to a massive workout library and save up to $400 on Bike, Tread, and Row packages before April 2, 2023, at onepeloton.com.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

739: Kristyn Hodgdon: The Hidden Grief of Secondary Infertility Mar 22, 2023

Show notes

When Kristyn Hodgdon reached out to me about coming on the SMA, it was a quick, easy, and emphatic YES! As you likely know, our family has gone through a lot around infertility - in trying to get pregnant with Vinnie and then again in pursuing a second pregnancy. I was so honored to speak with Kristyn, hear her story, and learn about how she helps other women.

Kristyn Hodgdon is the Co-Founder and Chief Creative Officer at Rescripted, the #1 global media platform for fertility, infertility, and pregnancy loss, offering technology tools & resources for wherever you are on your family-building journey. She is a professional writer, voracious reader, fierce fertility advocate, and proud IVF mom of twins. She lives in Long Island, NY with her husband Dan, and their two kids, Brooke and Charlie.

Listen in to hear Kristyn share:

Her journey to her PCOS diagnosis and then into her infertility
What is secondary infertility and how common it is
What it looks and feels like to make decisions around expanding your family when you know you can’t get pregnant naturally
The hidden grief of secondary infertility
What to say to friends & family who are experiencing infertility, secondary infertility, or pregnancy loss

Links mentioned:

Connect with Kristyn: www.rescripted.com
Rescripted on IG
Kristyn’s Podcast: Dear (In)Fertility

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

iHerb: Get your health in check with great products and great pricing. Get 22% off your first order when you use the code SHAMELESS at iherb.com.

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Peloton: Get access to a massive workout library and save up to $400 on Bike, Tread, and Row packages before April 2, 2023, at onepeloton.com.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

738: Overcoming Fear of Rejection Mar 20, 2023

Show notes

For many people, there are few worse things than rejection or the threat of rejection. The fear of rejection can cause anxiety, depression, and the most relentless stress. It can stop us from going after what we want and what we deserve. It can keep us stuck for a season - or a lifetime.

When you think about fear of rejection and what that might look like for you, I want you to consider what might drive your fear of rejection. What might the underlying causes be?

Some common causes of fear of rejection are:

Past life events
Past rejection or abandonment
Past trauma
Poor self-worth, self-esteem, sense of self
Susceptibility to anxiety, self-criticism

If you can identify where your fear of rejection stems from, it’s more likely you can talk your way through it and give it less power over you. For example, as a person who was abandoned by her father as a little girl and again as a 38-year-old woman & new mom, it is helpful for me to remind myself that my father was unable to show up for me for a myriad of reasons. Those reasons were his. They are not a reflection of my worth or my value. They are also not any indication of how others will treat me. In fact, every other human in my life has shown they are very capable of showing up and supporting me. When I talk myself through all this, I can see how I am very likely to be supported in my life no matter what I go after or if I screw up from time to time.

In this example, you can see where my fear of rejection might stem from as well as how I walk myself through it. You can see that in accepting my fear, labeling my fear, affirming my worth, and challenging my beliefs/past narratives, I’m able to walk my way right through this fear to a healthier place where I can show up for new things, hard things, big things, scary things - knowing that I don’t have to be perfect, get everything right, impress anyone or prove anything.

In this episode, I talk through 7 steps you can take to overcome the fear of rejection in order to show up for your life, go after what you want, and get all that you deserve.

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

iHerb: Get your health in check with great products and great pricing. Get 22% off your first order when you use the code SHAMELESS at iherb.com.

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Peloton: Get access to a massive workout library and save up to $400 on Bike, Tread, and Row packages before April 2, 2023, at onepeloton.com.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Train Her Game - Free Training: Moms of teen daughter athletes! Help your daughter build confidence and overcome negative mindsets in athletics by attending this free training offered by Breanne Smedley, Host of the Elite Competitor Podcast: https://trainhergame.com/shameless

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

737: Jenn Cassetta: The Art of Badassery Mar 15, 2023

Show notes

Based in Los Angeles, Jennifer Cassetta is a nationally recognized speaker, empowerment coach, and self-defense expert. She has worked with tens of thousands of professional women around the country to help them unleash their inner badass. Equipped with her 3rd-degree black belt in HapKiDo, Master’s degree in Nutrition, and health coaching certification, she develops programming that helps women feel strong, safe, and powerful from the streets to the boardroom. With clients that include: American Airlines, British Airways, Del Monte, Nike, Uber, and UBS, Jennifer has rocked hundreds of stages across the country with her superpower combination of engaging content and contagious enthusiasm.

Her new book, The Art of Badassery: Unleash Your Mojo With Wisdom of the Dojo, can now be found on bookshelves everywhere.

This was such a fun conversation. Jenn and I had the most instant chemistry and synergy. Get ready to laugh along with us and take some fantastic notes!

Listen in to hear Jenn share:

The Art of Badassery and how to unleash your mojo
The power of creating your Greatest Shits List
Her profound life experience of being just a few blocks from the Twin Towers during 911
How our Greatest Shits create our greatest weapons
The importance of Embracing the Suck and 3 strategies for bouncing back from the suck
3 steps to help you Find Your Roar
Why claiming/reclaiming your power is critical life work

Links mentioned:

Connect with Jenn: jennifercassetta.com
Book: The Art of Badassery: Unleash Your Mojo With Wisdom of the Dojo
Jenn on IG
Jenn on LinkedIn
Jenn on FB
Jenn on Tiktok

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

736: 3 Ways Mom Guilt is Harming You Mar 13, 2023

Show notes

I know I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I can’t help myself. One of my all-time favorite episodes to record was Mom Guilt Is a Lie. The reason I loved this episode is multipronged.

First, I pointed out to you that the mom guilt you feel (that is very real) comes from a massive lie fed to you by the Patriarchy.

Second, in making it clear where your guilt comes from, many of you would be able to release the grip that mom guilt has had on you over the years.

And finally, I knew that if you could see mom guilt as a myth, you could also become someone who questions other culturally ingrained messages for moms - liberating not only yourself from the constant marginalization of moms, but hopefully so many other moms around you too!

While I know many of you benefitted from that episode, I know that you are not miraculously healed. You are likely still struggling with mom guilt. My hope is that this episode will help you see how mom guilt plays a role in your life - likely a harmful role - so you may begin to heal from it.

In this episode, I talk through 3 ways mom guilt is harming you. Once you see the ways it is harming you, it’s likely you will see how you can start to let it go in order to show up for your life in new and liberated ways!

Links mentioned:

SMA Episode 327: Mom Guilt Is a Lie

Today's Parent Article: Why Mom Guilt Is the Biggest Lie of All

Thank you to our sponsors this month!

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

735: Laura Robbins: STASH: The Intersection of Motherhood, Addiction, Race & Class Mar 08, 2023

Show notes

Laura Cathcart Robbins is the host of the popular podcast, The Only One In The Room, and author of the memoir, STASH. She has been active for many years as a speaker and school trustee and is credited for creating The Buckley School’s nationally recognized committee on Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Justice. Her recent articles in Huffpo and The Temper on the subjects of race, recovery, and divorce have garnered her worldwide acclaim. She is a 2022 TEDx Speaker, and LA Moth StorySlam winner. Currently, she sits on the advisory boards of the San Diego Writer’s Festival and the Outliers HQ podcast Festival.

Laura is a longtime friend of the show and perhaps the most frequent guest of the show. She has shared her brilliance and her heart with us in so many ways over the last few years. Today, she is sharing her story with us in a new way - talking about the release of her stunningly breathtaking memoir, Stash. I was lucky enough to receive an advance copy of Laura’s book and read it on my way to & from London last fall. I found myself trying to contain my crying and cheering for my dear friend, Laura, on each flight. Her mommy heart broke mine in half as I read about her journey into deep addiction and then my heart healed right alongside hers as I saw her embrace recovery and say YES to herself and her boys over and over again.

Listen in to hear Laura share:

Her desire for her high profile marriage to “legitimize” her worth
Her path to crippling perfectionism and how it led her to a near fatal Ambien addiction
How Stash addresses the intersection of addiction, race, gender, motherhood and class
The misnomer that parents who are addicts choose drugs or alcohol over their children
The significance of her authoring this book as a Black women working through addiction and into recovery

Links mentioned:

Get the STASH and connect with Laura: theonlyonepod.com
Podcast: The Only One in the Room
Laura on IG
The Only One in the Room on IG

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Luvbuglearning.com: Support your child’s social emotional learning with the world's first social emotional gaming platform. Go to Luvbuglearning.com and sign up for a 7-day free trial, or simply download from the APP store and subscribe.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

734: What to Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Grow Mar 06, 2023

Show notes

As I’ve worked with women through growth and transformation over the last 20 years, I’ve had countless conversations about partners & spouses who, “just don’t get it.” Back when I was working with my personal training clients and boot camp members, women would come to be fraught about spending money without their husband’s approval.

When I started running programs inside the SMA, moms came to me so eager to participate but very uncomfortable about talking to their husbands about investing money in an online program with a coach they met on the internet, especially a coach selling “personal development for moms”.

I totally understand that it can be awkward to work on goals that aren’t connected to your partner, especially if you haven’t done that before. And… if that’s you, I want to invite you to consider why you haven’t taken steps to work on yourself independently in the past? Not from a place of judgment, but from a place of genuine curiosity.

As I’ve helped so many women show up for themselves and step into growth over the last 20 years, I’ve also seen the frustration that comes when you are growing, growing, growing, and hoping your partner will follow suit, and they’re like, “Nah, I’m good.”

There can be a decent amount of tension when partners are growing in different directions or one partner is committed to growth and the other is not.

As you’ve become more Shameless as a listener of this show, perhaps you’ve wondered, “How do I encourage my partner to make some of the changes I’ve made?”

In today’s episode, I talk through this tension. The tension of becoming more autonomous. The tension of codependency. The tension of doing your own work and letting a partner decide on their own what work they do or don’t do.

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre-portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

733: Gabrielle Blair: Ejaculate Responsibly Mar 01, 2023

Show notes

Gabrielle Blair a Shameless Mom of 6 and the founder of DesignMom.com. Started in 2006, it has been named a Website of the Year by Time magazine; praised as a top parenting blog by The Wall Street Journal, Parents, and Better Homes & Gardens; and it won the Iris Award for Blog of the Year. In 2015, Gabrielle published her New York Times bestseller, Design Mom: How to Live with Kids, a New York Times bestseller. Her second book, Ejaculate Responsibly, was just released and also became an instant New York Times Bestseller. Her writing is quoted and shared across the globe daily. If you follow her on Twitter, you know why. Gabrielle is also a founder of Alt Summit, the blockbuster annual conference for online content creators and creative entrepreneurs.

I met Gabrielle at an event this fall and was immediately completely captivated by her work around her new book, Ejaculate Responsibly. Gabbi is a force and this conversation is going to expand your head and heart in many ways. Listen in and share widely. The world needs this message - desperately.

Listen in to hear Gabrielle share:

Why she has always integrated “controversial” content into her parenting blog, Design Mom, and how that led to her writing Ejaculate Responsibly
Her mission to put men at the center of attention and center of responsibility when it comes to the conversation around unwanted pregnancies
Why the management of women’s fertility should be shifted to the management of MEN’S fertility since men are fertile 365 days a year and women are fertile for a mere 36 or so hours a month.
Why we have built a 100+ billion dollar women’s birth control industry around the idea that we don’t mind if women suffer as long as it makes things easier for men
The reality that most men are actually quite open to taking responsibility for their ejaculation if they are given the right information
How to talk to your kids about responsible ejaculation

Links Mentioned:

Gabrielle’s Book: Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion
See Gabrielle on tour: Book Tour: https://designmom.com
Check out Alt Summit: https://altitudesummit.com/
Gabrielle on Twitter and Instagram: @designmom
Amy Lang on the SMA: Birds & Bees & Kids
Amy Lang on the SMA: Sex Talk with Tweens

Thank you to our sponsors this month:

care.com: Get the help you need to make it all work for your family at care.com/book.

Hello Fresh: Get farm-fresh, pre portioned meals delivered right to your door! Go to HelloFresh.com/shameless65 and use code shameless65 for 65% off plus free shipping!

Last Bottle Wines: Get 10% off your order when you use the code SHAMELESS at lastbottlewines.com.

Rothys: For stylish, comfortable, sustainably made shoes, shop Rothy’s. Get $20 off your first purchase at rothys.com/SHAMELESSMOM.

StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast!: Need another podcast in your parenting podcast library, check out StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast! wherever you listen to the SMA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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