Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Latest Episodes:

10-Tending the Garden May 24, 2017

Show notes

Despite making two recordings, we encountered sound difficulties that could not be completely fixed. About halfway through, you may hear some echo (reverberation). But hang in there! It will correct within a few minutes. Thanks for your support!

Our topic is tending your garden, "garden" being a euphemism for your lady parts that we borrowed from Song of Solomon. We're talking specifically about hygiene, "landscaping," and even decorating your garden.

What have y'all learned about what constitutes good hygiene for a woman's private parts?
More and more wives are grooming their garden—by shaving, waxing, or other hair removal. What do you think about that trend, and why has it become so popular?
Not only can you landscape but you can decorate your garden—permanent and temporary tattoos, piercings, and vajazzling. What do y'all think about this practice?
What does the Bible have to say, if anything, about how we care for our lady parts?

Audio Difficulties May 23, 2017

Show notes

We're due for a podcast episode, but we've having audio difficulties. So we're postponing the next episode until we can work out the technical issues. We promise another interesting conversation around the virtual roundtable soon.

Thanks for staying tuned!

9-listener questions May 08, 2017

Show notes

Gaye, Bonny, and Chris tackle some questions from our listeners:

What if my husband says my feelings aren't valid?
How can I experience multiple orgasms?
What do I do about my husband's ED?

Sex Toys Apr 24, 2017

Show notes

About this episode . . .

Today we're talking about marital aids, often known as sex toys. Is it okay for Christian couples to use sex toys?

When we think of sex toys, the vibrator is what usually comes to mind. Most of our conversations focuses on vibrators, but there are also things like nipple clamps, penis rings, dildos, butt plugs, masturbation sleeves, and more.

Why do so many couples use sex toys in the marriage bed. What do they think it adds?
There are good reasons to use sex toys, and there are good reasons to avoid them. So how can a Christian couple decide whether sex toys are acceptable for them to use? What are the questions we should be asking ourselves?
If we decide to use them, is there anything we should be on the lookout for to be sure we are still using them in a way that is consistent with God's plan for our sexual intimacy?

From the Bible . . .

What does God have to say about sex toys?

The Bible doesn't say anything about sex toys. There is no "Thou shalt not use a vibrator," nor is there a toy mentioned in the Song of Solomon. There is no specific instruction that we are to use, or not use, sex toys. A Christian couple should approach this issue prayerfully, in consideration of Biblical principles and with the goal of intimacy.

Resources . . .

Why I Don't Use Sex Toys - Hot, Holy & Humorous

How Do I Eliminate Marital Aids and Orgasm Naturally? - Bonny's OysterBed7

What If the Batteries Died? A Sex Toy Story - Bonny's OysterBed7

3 Ways a Vibrator Can Help Marital Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife

Batteries Included: Sex Toy Use? - Intimacy in Marriage

Can Christians Use Sex Toys? - To Love, Honor & Vacuum

Exercise and Sex Apr 11, 2017

Show notes

About this episode

Today we're talking about exercise and sex. Wow, that sounds like a weird combination, doesn't it? What in the world do those two things have to do with each other?

As it turns out, quite a bit. The benefits of regular exercise and physical activity for women are tremendous, and they include benefits for improving your sex life. Yes, that's right. Today we're going to make the case that exercising regularly is not only great for your health, it's great for sex and intimacy in your marriage. We'll be talking about four areas in which it can make a difference, including your physical health, mental health, body image, and energy.

From the Bible

The Bible doesn't say much directly about the value of exercise, but it alludes to the importance of caring for our bodies and keeping them strong.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20New International Version (NIV) - Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Proverbs 31:17 (NIV) - She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

Resources

Regular Exercise for Busy Women - How to Make Time When You Don't Have Time

Put Your Body to Work to Help You Feel Beautiful

Feel Beautiful - Dust Off Your Exercise Shoes!

4 Ways Exercise Can Improve Your Health - and Your Sex Life

Exercise Boosts Libido

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Women's Sexual Response Mar 27, 2017

Show notes

Episode 6: Women's Sexual Response About this episode

Today we're talking about women's sexuality and sexual response.

Why do we have so many misconceptions about women's sexual response?
What do we know about women's sexuality that might some women might not realize is normal?
How can we help ourselves (and our husbands) better understand our sexual response?

From the Bible

What does God have to say about women's sexuality?

1 Timothy 5:14: "So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander."

2 Samuel 12:24: "Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him."

Song of Songs 5, especially verse 5: "I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt."

Song of Songs 7, especially verse 10: "I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me."

Resources

The Forgiven Wife, Learn to Embrace Your Sexuality

The Forgiven Wife, Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexuality Be Like Your Husband's?

The Generous Husband, Orgasmic Massage

To see an image representing the massive real estate of the internal clitoris, follow this link to wikipedia.

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Sex Scheduling Mar 13, 2017

Show notes

Episode 5: Sex Scheduling

About this episode

The busyness of life sometimes overtakes our schedules and sexual intimacy is pushed farther and farther down the list of priorities. In this episode, we consider whether or not to leave sexual intimacy as an afterthought.

What are some of the benefits of consistent lovemaking?
How can wives overcome their reluctance to schedule sexual intimacy?
What are some practical things we can think about to commit to scheduling lovemaking?

From the Bible

What does God have to say about prioritizing your time?

Proverbs 3:27: "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act."

Luke 14:28-31: "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won't you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, 'This person began to build and wasn't able to finish.'

"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won't he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?"

1 Corinthians 7:5: "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer."

Our Resources

Hot, Holy & Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, Chapter 2, "Finding Time"

Hot, Holy & Humorous: How Often Should You Have Sex?

OysterBed7: Sex Scheduling can lead to Romance

OysterBed7: 5 Questions to ask to Create a Sexual Encounter Schedule

OysterBed7: I Love Knowing When Sex is Going to Happen

Other Resources

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: Sex Scheduling in Marriage

One Extraordinary Marriage: 3 Steps to Schedule Sex in Your Marriage

Today's Christian Woman: Sex Scheduling

Also see Episode 1: Getting in the Mood

Visit our website.

Stress and Sex Feb 27, 2017

Show notes

Episode 4: Stress and Sex

About this episode

In this episode we're talking about the ways that stress can affect women's interest in and enjoyment of sex. We focus on everyday sources of stress and the things that women can do to reduce the effects of stress in their lives. (And we acknowledge that some sources of stress require medical or other professional assistance, and that those are beyond the scope of this podcast.) The questions we discuss include:

How does stress affect libido and enjoyment of sex for women?
What can a woman do if stress is affecting her interest in or enjoyment of sex?
What are some strategies women can use to reduce everyday sources of stress

From the Bible

What does God have to say about stress?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

...the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6b

Resources

3 Questions that Can Reduce Stress and Increase Calm in Your Life - CalmHealthySexy

How Do You Respond to Stress in Your Marriage - The Forgiven Wife

4 Simple Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life and Marriage - CalmHealthySexy

Find Peace so You Can Find Orgasm - OysterBed 7

De-Stress to Improve Libido - OysterBed 7

How Does Stress Affect Your Marriage - The Forgiven Wife

Visit our website.

50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again Feb 14, 2017

Show notes

About this episode

Out in theaters right now is Fifty Shades Darker, the second film based on Fifty Shades series. These novels have spurred a lot of conversation and questions about erotica. And we're going to address that topic head-on.

1. Why do you think so many wives have been drawn to erotic romance stories? What about this genre appeals to them?

2. I've had wives tell me that reading these novels awakened their sexual desire. What's wrong with that? Isn't that ultimately good for the sexual intimacy in their marriage?

3. Some say that these erotic stories are no different from porn, and others say they're no different from romance novels. What do you think about either or both of those charges? How are they the same or different?

4. Let's get practical: What is okay and what's not okay in the world of BDSM?

5. What are your own greatest concerns about the Fifty Shades phenomenon?

From the Bible

Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Colossians 3:19: "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

1 Corinthians 10:23: "'Everything is permissible,' but not everything is helpful. 'Everything is permissible,' but not everything builds up." (HSCB)

Resources

The Forgiven Wife: A Shaded View of Romance

The Forgiven Wife: Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women?

The Forgiven Wife: As Bad As Porn?

Authentic Intimacy: The Good News about Fifty Shades of Grey

OysterBed7: 50 Shades of Uncertainty?

OysterBed7: Libido Boundaries?

Hot Holy & Humorous: Why I Haven't Talked about 50 Shades

Hot Holy & Humorous: Has the Mainstream Embraced BDSM? Should You?

Hot Holy & Humorous: Q&A with J: How about Bondage in the Bedroom?

Sex Positions Feb 13, 2017

Show notes

About this episode

Practical tips on positioning to help you find gain greater pleasure and intimacy in your marriage bed.

1. Why should wives be interested in learning new positions? 2. What positions are some women afraid to try? 3. Does the Bible have anything to say on the subject of sexual positions? 4. How can wives overcome their reluctance to expand their repertoire of sexual positions? 5. What's a sexual position couples might not have tried that you recommend?

From the Bible

Song of Songs 7:13: "The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved."

Song of Songs 2:6: "His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me."

Song of Songs 2:14: "My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely."

Resources

Christian Friendly Sex Positions

Journey to Surrender: "What's on Your Sex Menu?"

The Cookie Sutra

Liberator Wedge Pillow

Christian Friendly Sex Positions: "Packing the Suitcase"

Oyster Bed 7: "Sex Variety and Libido in Marriage"

Hot, Holy & Humorous: "Why Try More Than One Sexual Position"