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    Kids & Family

    Securely Attached

    Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child’s adolescence and every stage in between.

    Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.

    And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.”

    From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parentβ€”this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.

    About Sarah Bren, PhD
    Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.

    Advertise

    Copyright: Β© 2023

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    The do's and don'ts of supporting a grieving child: What every parent needs to know with Dr. Dan Wolfson Feb 25, 2025
    Show notes

    Grief isn't something we get overβ€”it's something we integrate. Joining me to discuss this and the best way to support children through profound loss is Dr. Dan Wolfson, a clinical psychologist specializing in grief.

    In this episode we explore:

    - The skills needed for fostering resilience and helping children and adults learn to grieve in a healthy manner.

    - The importance of "oscillation" through grief and how Dr. Dan works with his patients to help them learn to process their feelings without these emotions completely overtaking them.

    - How to help determine when and how it's time for your child (or you) to go back to things like extracurricular activities, birthday parties, and other "normal" ways of reengaging with life.

    - Parents are often hesitant to show their own grief to their children, however, this can be a helpful form of modeling. We discuss appropriate ways to share your emotions with your child.

    - Typical behaviors and regressions we often see in children who are processing profound sadness and difficult emotions, so you know what to be on the lookout for.

    If you or your child are navigating profound loss, this conversation is here to remind you that healing isn't linear, and you don't have to do it alone.

    LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN:

    https://www.wolfsontherapy.com/danwolfson

    LEARN MORE ABOUT EXPERIENCE CAMPS:

    https://experiencecamps.org/about-us

    FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

    πŸ“±@wolfsontherapy

    πŸ“± @drsarahbren

    ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

    πŸ‘‰πŸ» Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

    πŸ“š The Invisible String

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 192. Death, grief, and parenting: How we can help our kids make sense of and make peace with death with Rabbi Steve Leder

    🎧 194. Confronting death to find a deeper meaning in life: A continuation of my conversation with Rabbi Steve Leder

    🎧 70. Helping children process, accept and understand death with death doula Heather Hogan


    Q&A: What can I do when my child feels left out by her friends? Feb 20, 2025
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

    - First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise?

    - Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this.

    - What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group.

    - How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly.

    - "There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'"

    - Understanding "social currency" and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers.

    ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social media's impact on your child's attachment security with Dr. Miriam Steele

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


    Beyond the 6-week checkup: A realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon Feb 18, 2025
    Show notes

    Do you know the signs of postpartum depression? Many parents (and even medical professionals) often miss diagnosing new mothers with a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. Here to help shed light on this important topic is Board-Certified OB/GYN and author of the upcoming book, Then Comes Baby, Dr. Jessica Vernon.

    In this episode we explore:

    - Why postpartum mental health conditions are so often overlookedβ€”even in medical training.

    - The types of questions Dr. Jessica started asking her prenatal and postpartum patients that allowed them the space to open up and reveal the struggles they were experiencing.

    - How the 6-week check-in after birth become the standard practice and what birthing people can expect of their bodies and minds at the 6-week mark.

    - Why women experiencing mental health struggles in postpartum are so prone to feelings of guilt and shame - even though there is no difference between medical risks and mental health risks, as a society we tend to attach more shame to mental health challenges.

    - What is matrescence and how is it revolutionizing the way we view early motherhood.

    - Managing our expectations with the realization that reality and our fantasies often don't match up and how that can cause struggles - from birth, to feeding, postpartum, and early parenthood.

    - Free moms groups, books, and other resources for expecting and new parents.

    Whether you're pregnant, newly postpartum, or a professional working with new parents, this episode offers essential insights into how we can improve postpartum care and support maternal mental health.

    LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JESSICA:

    https://www.drjessicavernon.com/

    PRE-ORDER DR. JESSICA'S BOOK:

    πŸ“š Then Comes Baby: An Honest Conversation about Birth, Postpartum, and the Complex Transition to Parenthood

    ARE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL?

    Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for The Good Mom/Bad Mom Loop, a 3-hour workshop on 2/27 designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.

    FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

    πŸ“± @drsarahbren

    πŸ“± @dr.jessicavernon, Jessica Vernon, Jessica Vernon, MD, FACOG, PMH-C

    ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

    πŸ“š Ordinary Insanity: Fear and the Silent Crisis of Motherhood in America

    πŸ“š Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood

    ✨ Postpartum Support International

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond

    🎧 How to lighten the load in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Sterling

    🎧 A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs)

    🎧 Sex after baby - Part I and Part II


    Q&A: My high-schooler is struggling with perfectionism and academic pressures, how can I help him feel less stressed? Feb 13, 2025
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

    - Even if we aren't adding more pressure onto our kids, the world often pushes external achievements on them - how can parents push back against this?

    - Why trying to problem-solve with your child may seem like it's supporting them, but could actually be perpetuating their anxiety.

    - The one pillar you can use as a parent to guide all your interactions with your child that can help to defuse the pressure they feel, rather than inadvertently adding to it.

    - Saying grades don't matter is like saying, "throw your sense of control out the window." What to say instead.

    - Our society glorifies perfectionism, but in reality, kids who engage in highly perfectionist tendencies tend to have higher anxiety and internalize their stress, which can lead to missed signs that they need support. What are the signs they are crossing a concerning threshold of perfectionism?

    - We describe a helpful thought exercise you can try with your child today.

    WANT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT?

    πŸ‘‰πŸ» Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

    ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning style myths with Dr. Dan Willingham

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child cope with anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


    Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho Feb 11, 2025
    Show notes

    How does attachment security relate to codependency? The Codependent Perfectionist, Alana Carvalho, LMHC, is here to explore just that!

    In this episode, we cover it all:

    - How does codependency fit into the attachment system?

    - Does this sound like what you're struggling with in your relationship? We're reviewing some of the most common challenges partners face when one person is more avoidant, and the other is more anxious.

    - Challenging perceptions of what is necessary in a relationship. When we see the world through dysfunctional patterns, we are often unaware of this dysfunction.

    - The differences between missatunement versus misperception and how understanding this difference can help us get on the same page on both!

    - A tangible exercise you can do with your partner to help you create a stronger dynamic (and why this works to not kick up a threat response, and helps them stay engaged in the conversation more successfully.)

    Whether you're struggling with relational patterns or looking to better understand your partner, this episode offers powerful insights and tools for cultivating healthier relationships.

    LEARN MORE ABOUT ALANA:

    https://www.alanacarvalho.com/

    TAKE THE QUIZ:

    https://www.alanacarvalho.com/the-codependent-perfectionist-quiz/

    READ ALANA'S BOOK:

    πŸ“š Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist's Guide to Parenting

    FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

    • @thecodependentperfectionist

    • @drsarahbren

    ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

    🎧 Listen to Alana's first Securely Attached episode, Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

    🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

    🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan


    Q&A: How can I maintain a relationship with my mom who has extremist political views? Feb 06, 2025
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

    - Breaking down the difference between having differing political view points versus someone having extremist views.

    - How the health of our relationships with our parents is often intertwined with our relationship with ourselves, our kids, and our entire family system.

    - How to manage feeling lost, un-seen, and destabilized when a parent shifts to being less of a secure attachment figure.

    - Does this change in your parent's views and values mean you have to throw out all the things you have learned from them that inform your approach to raising your own kids?

    - When it's best to try to compartmentalize things your parent might say, and when it's necessary to hold firm boundaries.

    - Learn Dr. Sarah's simple framework for setting and holding effective boundaries.

    ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with your in-laws

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful realationshisp with Dr. Rick Hanson

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about mindfulness with Diana Winston

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


    Music, mindfulness, and play: Using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin Feb 04, 2025
    Show notes

    Music therapist Vered Benhorin is teaching parents how they can use play and music as powerful tools to strengthen connection, foster attachment, and make parenting feel a little easier.

    In this episode, we explore:

    - Why play is so important for emotional regulation, attachment, and connectionβ€”and how parents who don't naturally enjoy play can redefine what it looks like.

    - What are "Bubble Moments," and how can parents tap into these times throughout the day to deepen their relationship with their child?

    - How music impacts the brain, reinforcing neural networks that support routines, emotional regulation, and even executive functioning skills.

    - The science behind a "sing-song" voice and why it feels so regulating for both you and your child.

    - How to expand your definition of play to find activities that feel fun and authentic for you as a parent.

    Whether you're looking to strengthen your bond with your child, better understand attachment theory, or discover simple ways to use music and play to make parenting more joyful, this episode is packed with insights and practical advice you won't want to miss!

    LEARN MORE ABOUT VERED:

    https://www.babyintune.com/

    READ VERED'S NEW BOOK:

    πŸ“š What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together

    LISTEN TO VERED'S MUSIC:

    🎡 Listen on Spotify

    ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

    πŸ‘‰πŸ» Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with Vered Benhorin

    🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele

    🎧 A 10-year-old's take on starting a new school year, navigating friendships, and what he wants every parent to keep in mind


    Q&A: Is "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids? Jan 30, 2025
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

    - What does it mean to be "nesting" during a divorce?

    - What types of logistical and emotional factors to consider to help you determine if this is a good choice for your family.

    - What are the pros and cons of nesting for kids (and for you!)

    - How to help kids feel secure during a separation, whether you've decided to nest with your ex or not.

    - A script for helping your child understand the difference between love in a parent-child relationship and love in a romantic adult relationship. This distinction can help kids who may be worried that they will get left too.

    ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting some common misconceptions about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with a narcissist

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do after you and your partner have a big fight in front of your kids

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


    The surprising science of sibling relationships: Why your kids fight and how to foster closeness with Dr. Jonathan Caspi Jan 28, 2025
    Show notes

    Sibling relationships are some of the longest-lasting and most influential relationships in our lives, but they're also filled with complexity. Dr. Jonathan Caspi, a renowned expert on sibling relationships, is breaking down the fascinating science behind sibling dynamics and sharing actionable advice for parents.

    In this episode we explore:

    - The surprising science behind why if you give two siblings and two strangers personality tests, the siblings wouldn't be any more similar than the strangers.

    - The importance of neutrality in parental interventions with siblings and how this can prevent feelings of favoritism and resentment.

    - Practical strategies for managing sibling conflict: Like what to say in the heat of the moment to support their problem-solving skills, what to focus on (and what to ignore) to build closeness and empathy, and how to know it's time to get involved vs. when to let them work it out themselves, and more!

    - How to respond if your child struggles when you bring a new baby home with methods that foster closeness and decrease rivalry.

    - Insider versus outsider status: How parents can unintentionally create sibling rivalry, and what to do instead.

    - The vital importance of parental regulation and how to stay calm when our "mama bear" instincts are triggered.

    Whether you're trying to navigate sibling squabbles, encourage connection, or simply understand the dynamics at play in your own family, this episode is packed with fascinating insights and practical tools you won't want to miss!

    LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JONATHAN CASPI:

    https://siblingexpert.com/

    READ DR. JONATHAN'S BOOK:

    πŸ“š Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment

    FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

    • @siblingexpert

    • @drsarahbren

    ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

    • Research Study: Why are siblings so different?

    CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

    🎧 The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston

    🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

    🎧 Getting on the same page as your partner in parenting


    Q&A: How can I help my child learn to be patient when she wants my attention immediately? Jan 23, 2025
    Show notes

    Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

    - What is developmentally typical for 2-year-olds when it comes to manners and patience?

    - Understanding impulse control, joint attention, and attunement - and how to use these 3 things to help you know how to respond to your child when they are demanding your attention.

    - When to pause to validate your child's desire, and when it's okay to ignore their request.

    - How to help your child tolerate waiting (no matter how big their reaction is to being told they need to wait.)

    - How to collaboratively problem solve with your child to come up with strategies around what they CAN do to interrupt you when they need your attention.

    ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a toddler with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series, Carol Zeavin and Rhona Silverbush

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about responding to your child who loses their cool when they get frustrated

    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you

    🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to keep your child from becoming a spoiled brat

    WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

    Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!


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