Secret Mum Club with Sophiena

Mums On A Mission: Time To Get Moving Nov 01, 2024

Sophiena and Emma have a health goal to hit and no time to waste. On today's episode of Mum's On A Mission, brought to listeners in partnership with Lingo by Abbott, they sit down for a conversation with wellness expert Adrienne Adhami. How can they master movement whilst contending with the busy life of a mum? And what's the smart way to exercise? Adrienne shares her thoughts.

Find out more at hellolingo.com/uk

The biosensor housing, Lingo, and related trademarks are marks of the Abbott group of companies. This podcast and the guests are part of a paid advertisement for Lingo. #HelloLingouk

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The Spooky Special Oct 31, 2024

Things are getting SPOOKY in the studio as the ladies embrace Halloween! They’re fully dressed up and ready to dive into your scariest secrets, from a possessed toy in the toybox to a smiling stranger in the bedroom!

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The Creamy Confusion Oct 29, 2024

There’s good news and bad news this week! The good news is that Emma’s mum is in town! The bad news? There’s a lot of bodily fluids involved. One comes from a listener who learned the hard way why you shouldn’t trust a “drink” made by a toddler, and the other is from Emma’s secret of the week, which involves a pasta and milky sick mix-up.

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Mums On A Mission: Introducing Lingo Oct 25, 2024

Welcome to this new mini-series from the Secret Mum Club, this is Mums on a Mission, brought to you in partnership with Lingo by Abbot. This mini-series will follow Sophiena and Emma as they strive to hit their personal health goals, with the help of Lingo and some fellow podcast hosts. In this first episode, Sophiena and Emma speak with Sophie Bertrand, a Nutritionist at Lingo, to get the lowdown on how the Lingo device can help them throughout their upcoming mission.

Your body has the answers. Visit hellolingo.com/uk

Lingo is not for medical use. 18+ only.

This podcast and the guests are part of a paid advertisement for Lingo.

#HelloLingo

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The Sewn Sleeves Oct 24, 2024

After a full day in the studio, delirium is setting in for the ladies, and to make things even weirder we hear an interesting tip for dealing with thumb-sucking. Plus the ladies are torn when they learn about one mum's solution for tackling an unfortunate (and very messy) showroom toilet disaster.

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The Soft Play Waterfall Oct 22, 2024

Emma's back with exciting news about Joseff! The ladies catch up on everything that’s happened over the past month, and they read your lovely messages about conceiving in same-sex relationships. Plus, one mum shares her soft play waterfall nightmare!

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The Group Chat Gaffe Oct 17, 2024

Sophiena’s sister Roxanne returns with a revealing secret from her football group chat. The ladies recap their hectic, eventful weeks, and Soph’s secret involves not one, but two trips to the hairdresser!

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The Secret Sister Club Oct 15, 2024

Another week, another special guest! This time, Roxanne joins Soph to answer all your questions, and things get feisty when they share their favourite childhood stories. Plus, we hear a secret about keeping an eye on your teens!

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The Family Takeover Oct 10, 2024

It’s a full house as Sophiena’s entire family joins the podcast! Dottie and Colby are ready to spill their secrets of the week, while we dive into how the children feel about going back to school and welcoming baby Renley to the family. It’s an episode filled with laughter, love, chaos and plenty of chatter from everyone… except Pizza Dick, who couldn't get a word in edgewise!

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The Pizza Dick Special Oct 08, 2024

Pizza Dick is in the house! Sophiena has successfully convinced Chris to join her in the studio, and they’re ready to tackle all your burning questions! We hear how he truly feels about the nickname bestowed upon him by Dottie, and we get an inside look into the life of Southampton’s wildest family.

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The Panties Predicament Oct 03, 2024

Soph and Emma share their public toilet nightmares and are wowed by one mum’s creative tummy time tip. Plus, a sweet message from Jess on her same-sex parenting journey, and a cringe-worthy camping shower secret!

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The In-Flight Entertainment Oct 01, 2024

The ladies are soaring high now that the podcast is available in the skies! To celebrate, Soph has brought in some fitting attire. Emma is in full pre-holiday prep mode as she gets ready for a month away, while Sophiena reveals a spooky family secret!

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The Chilly PDA Sep 26, 2024

The ladies dive into some juicy correspondence about the wildest (and chilliest) PDA ever witnessed! The farmyard animal toy pronouns debate thickens, and this week’s secret features one mum, a toilet seat, and a toddler on the verge of bursting!

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The James Blunt Trump Sep 24, 2024

It’s that time of year again! The winter clothes are making their comeback, which means plenty of shopping trips for the ladies with a measuring tape in hand. Sophiena’s getting down with Renley’s trumpets and James Blunt at the same time, and we hear about one mum on a mission to fill in for the tooth fairy.

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The Phonetic Fail Sep 19, 2024

The ladies start with a quick correction about the Fife Coastal Path before Emma shares her top tip for keeping skin silky smooth. Plus, this week’s outrageous secret comes from a listener facing a hilarious struggle with their little one’s phonetic spelling activities!

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The Muff Guff Sep 17, 2024

Soph’s been trying to get back into the swing of things with the school routine in full force, while Emma is blown away by the wonders of modern postal technology. The ladies also learn a new term for a queef, and Sophiena spills her secret about a car park encounter.

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The Dummy Dilemma Sep 12, 2024

The ladies get sucked back into dummy talk as one mum writes in about her struggles weaning her little ones off finger-sucking. Emma relates to the Secret of the Week, recalling a similar experience from her own childhood involving an x-rated keyring and a curious toddler. Plus, we feature a special clip from Sophiena’s appearance on the Mummy's Boy podcast!

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The Disney Era Sep 10, 2024

Before Emma heads off on holiday, she drops a delightful secret – she and Joseff have officially entered their Disney era, much to Sophiena's excitement! Meanwhile, there's exciting news as our gallery wall gets some fabulous new additions. And for the first time ever, we dive into a mysterious secret about cryptic pregnancy

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Help I Sexted My Secret Mum Club Sep 05, 2024

The ladies have teamed up with William and Jordan from Help I Sexted My Boss for an extra special crossover episode! The boys get a crash course in the messy realities of parenthood, leaving one of them feeling a bit light-headed (William) and one of them more broody (Jordan). We share a mum’s secret about a milk explosion, and the boys bring a few of their listener dilemmas on board, including the age-old question of whether you can stay friends with an ex.

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The Bizarre Cape Sep 03, 2024

As the back-to-school rush looms, the ladies get an interesting update from the OG Giant Pooer. Sophiena shares her family’s recent face-painting adventure where one person definitely stood out more than the rest. Plus, we’ve got a late-night nappy change secret that’s all too relatable!

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Sunday Soak: The Perfect Day Sep 01, 2024

It's the final Sunday Soak of the school holidays! As we prepare for the start of term, let’s take a moment just for you. This week, the ladies chat about their idea of a perfect day, and we hope the soothing music helps transport you to yours!

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The Percy Problem Aug 29, 2024

We hear one mum's secret about her new "friend" Percy the pile, who's been popping up in all the wrong places! William and Jordan from Help I Sexted My Boss have discovered the NoseFrida, and the ladies get a firsthand look at their hilarious reactions! Plus, Sophiena and Emma reignite their fiery debate about whether it’s ever a good idea to befriend an ex.

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The Two Hundred Udders Aug 27, 2024

Poonamis seem to be everywhere this week! Emma shares the chaos of dealing with one during her road trip to Wales, while another mum experiences a messy mishap during her first attempt at baby yoga. Meanwhile, Sophs has somehow dodged the trend and tells us about her serene family getaway. You've been busy sending in your back-to-school checklist ideas, and we’ve officially discovered the wildest location yet for listening to the podcast!

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We'll Be Back Tomorrow! Aug 26, 2024

Just a quick one from us to say that we will be back with our usual episode tomorrow!

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Sunday Soak: Serene Snacking Aug 25, 2024

It's time for you to kick back, jump in the bath, and enjoy these fifteen minutes of relaxing music away from the business of the summer holidays! This week the ladies talk about their go-to snacks when they have a moment to themselves!

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Show & Tell with Katie Taylor Aug 22, 2024

The ladies are joined by Katie Taylor, a Forest School Leader and outdoor activity specialist for the last Show & Tell episode! From wand making to ice play, she shares her top tips for keeping children busy whilst embracing nature.

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The Milk Bar Aug 19, 2024

Sophiena and Emma attempt to up their podcast game by not looking at their notes and discuss that big thing everyone suddenly talks about in their thirties (clue: it’s the gym).

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The Sunday Soak: A Relaxing Beverage Aug 18, 2024

Take a breather in between entertaining your little ones and enjoy this curated playlist of calming music as the ladies discuss their ultimate relaxation beverage.

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Show & Tell with Mr P Aug 15, 2024

Mr P joins Sophiena and Emma for a summer holiday Show & Tell! They talk about all things triplets and keeping your children safe online.

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The S*** Drawer Aug 12, 2024

Ever wondered about the best way to deal with clutter at home? Sophiena has a handy mantra this week to help. Plus, they discuss the joys of stocking up with stationary for a new school year for the Back To School Checklist.

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Sunday Soak: Bath Time! Aug 11, 2024

We're halfway through the summer holidays! Go you! Now it's time to take a break from the madness and enjoy this curated playlist of calming music while the ladies take you through their ideal bath setups.

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Show & Tell With Jack Plummer Aug 08, 2024

This week, the ladies are joined by Jack Plummer for the summer holiday Show & Tell! He shares a few of his top tips for keeping children active during the school holidays, and Emma talks about Sadie's first swimming lesson.

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The One Mile Club Aug 05, 2024

Sophiena recounts her awkward train ride to the studio, where she got up close and personal with a couple engaged in some serious PDA. Steffan has taken birthday surprises to the next level for Emma, and we hear about one mum's new windowsill ornament.

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Sunday Soak: Take A Breather Aug 04, 2024

This week on the Sunday Soak Emma shares her relaxing breathing technique, so get your candles on, put your feet up, and let's switch off for fifteen minutes.

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The Train Accident Aug 01, 2024

Changing a baby can be stressful at the best of times, but doing it whilst on a moving train is a recipe for disaster! Now that we're officially into the summer holidays Sophiena shares her first Show & Tell activity, and we hear a few of yours too!

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The Gassy Labour Jul 29, 2024

There are a lot of ways to induce labour but in this episode, we hear one mum's new, smellier method. Sophiena and Emma chat about the realities of potty training and organising the household, and we have a wonderful pregnancy reveal story.

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Sunday Soak: Relaxation Routines Jul 28, 2024

Welcome to the first Sunday Soak! It's a space for you to relax, take a breather and listen to some chilled out tunes with Sophiena and Emma guiding the way! So draw yourself a bath, grab a cup of tea or have a lie-down and enjoy these few minutes of bliss.

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The Summer Begins! Jul 25, 2024

It's official... Schools out for summer! And the ladies want to know your plans for the summer holidays! Let us know whether you're getting crafty with the children, taking them on walks, or going away for a week! You can email hello@secretmumpod.com or send us a message on our Instagram @secretmumpod.

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The Muff Scissors Jul 22, 2024

We're celebrating Sophiena and Emma's birthdays this week so there are plenty of bubbles, and outrageous secrets! Including one from a mum with a new way of using a bag for life, and another mum whose muff scissors took a trip to school.

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The Bog Brush Jul 18, 2024

It's so cute when babies learn to do things themselves... except when they mistake a public bog brush for a hair brush. Away from the listener's gag-worthy stories, we hear hard facts about getting pregnant whilst breastfeeding and we get a truth bomb from a five-year-old.

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The Silicone Investigator Jul 15, 2024

The ladies are shining a light on a wide range of creative ideas this week, including beautiful artwork for the Secret Mum Club Gallery, new and innovative uses of certain phallic objects during hide-and-seek and Jackson Pollock inspired living room furniture after a naked shart.

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Introducing... The David Potts Show Jul 12, 2024

We've got an extra episode for you this week, courtesy of the David Potts Show! Sophiena joined the Ibiza Weekender legend, David Potts, on the sofa for a chat about Pizza Dick Chrissy, and the pink poo secret!

Listen to more episodes of The David Potts Show wherever you get your podcasts.

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The Twins' Room Jul 11, 2024

There are many nightmare scenarios as a parent, and today's extra secret of the week involving twins, a locked room and plenty of poo is most definitely one of them. We also have a gender reveal and the ladies find out which Hogwarts houses they belong to.

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The Fanny Hand Jul 08, 2024

There's a legend status letter in the Correspondence Corner this week, and it comes in from a mum who received a post-birth surprise. Sophiena calls upon Dottie for help during a shopping centre emergency, and Emma is juggling a nighttime routine with two babies!

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The Amsterdam Bear Jul 04, 2024

No one wants the responsibility of looking after a class bear, but one Mum tells us how she ended up showing their bear a brand-new world! We also hear about a toilet contraption that should be on everyone's shopping list, and the ladies find out there's a new name for tampons.

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The Water Gun Jul 01, 2024

We already know that children say the craziest things, but one secret involving a water gun comparison has our jaws on the floor! There’s been a lot of travel chaos this week as Sophiena deals with a train poo and Emma goes on a five hour drive with two kids. The ladies are also asked about the best way to tell your partner about pregnancy!

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The Boob Train Jun 27, 2024

There’s an iconic secret in our midst this week, and it starts with a boob massage video. The ladies chat about push presents and Sophiena has a new TikTok trend she’s obsessed with!

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The School Bell Jun 24, 2024

We're no strangers to saucy toys on this podcast, but one mum shares her secret that requires drastic measures. The ladies have been tackling daily mum life with Emma solo parenting and Sophiena wrestling her evergrowing clothes pile! Plus we're asking for your help decorating the studio, so if your children's drawings need a new home, send them in to the Secret Mum Club Gallery! You can find our contact info here: https://audioalways.lnk.to/secretmumpodSN

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The Blow Off Jun 20, 2024

There's a distinct whiff in the air because one of the ladies has BLOWN OFF. Not literally, but whilst searching for the best turn of phrase to describe releasing gas, they've stumbled across an old term their mum's used. Plus we've received intel from a listener about the hottest (and stinkiest) museum in town!

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The Bare Hand Jun 17, 2024

There's a trifecta of bodily functions in your correspondence and secrets including a smear test mishap, boob relief at a Busted concert, and a nursery poo gone wrong. The ladies have had tame weeks in comparison, with Sadie having a check-up, and Sophiena getting boujee on a night out.

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The Daddies Special! Jun 16, 2024

It's Father's Day! And to celebrate all the daddies out there Sophiena and Emma have put together an extra special little episode. Be warned, there are lots of tangents, outrageous dad stories and secrets including a Nair mishap that sends Soph over the edge.

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The Big Nips Jun 13, 2024

There's a lot of chat about wild number ones and twos this week, but some of it comes recommended by a highly ranked mum! We also hear an embarrassing mum moment and an awkward gift exchange.

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The Lunch Break Jun 10, 2024

There's not a lot that surprises the ladies, but this week's messages have left them with their jaws on the floor! There's a lunchtime mishap, a funeral faux pas, and of course, a little bit of poo sprinkled in for good measure. Plus Emma fills us in on the latest with Sadie, and Soph's secret is anything but a walk in the park.

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The Bouncy Avocado Jun 06, 2024

We've heard some crazy birthing stories... Well, now it's time for a crazy AFTERBIRTH story. Plus the ladies are rating one mum's birthing playlist and it's safe to say there are some bangers on there!

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The First Anniversary! Jun 03, 2024

The Secret Mum Club is turning one! Can you bloody believe it? And to celebrate the ladies are throwing a birthday party! There are games, some lovely messages and of course, cake!

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The Fake Willy May 30, 2024

Another week, another secret about willies! But this time, it's a case of mistaken identity. Plus we hear from a super mum who is doing all she can to make sure her little one gets the care they need, and one of our listeners has left the ladies hanging in suspense!

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The Blowout May 27, 2024

It's official... Baby life is in full swing and each day is blurring into the next for the ladies! But there's still plenty to chat about including a huge milk update from Soph, a very touching story about bonding with grandparents (get the tissues ready), Dads helping Dads in the loo and an unfortunate blowout in the park.

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The Dropping Balls May 23, 2024

Two things are flowing this week... all of your lovely correspondence, and the prosecco. Whilst enjoying the merriment of being out of the house, the ladies ponder upon a letter about dropping balls, the sexy numbers trend is back (and it's even sexier than last time), and there's a touching secret about the best time to try for a baby.

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The Post-Baby Bowel Movement May 20, 2024

The back-to-the-studio excitement continues with our first Monday episode back. Emma shares some incredible news and Sophiena has Renley's first ever secret! Plus, we hear about one mum's experience with homeschooling, there's a post-partum poo celebration, and we learn about a new way to use nappies in an emergency.

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The Studio Soirée May 16, 2024

After three months and fifteen home records, the ladies are finally reunited (and it feels so good)! But they're not the only ones in the studio. We've got two new faces on the block, and it's safe to say, they're definitely going to be the new stars of the Secret Mum Club!

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The Defecated Baby May 13, 2024

We're getting hit with some more classic Dottie truths this week, as a trip to the Zoo turns awkward. Both ladies have updates to give this week, Emma shares how her babies are getting on and Sophiena is back with more from the doctors!

Plus your secrets are as outrageous as ever with cleanliness being questioned and we're getting down with the trumpets out in the wild!

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The Baby Spoon May 09, 2024

Not long before the ladies are back together in the studio again! Until then, Jen's been back in touch to give us the inside scoop on her magic pumps, there's a huge announcement from one of our listeners and we hear about the next generation of the poo knives in the extra secret of the week.

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The School Runs May 06, 2024

The ladies have loads to catch up on this week, from Sophiena's disappointing doctor's visit and unfortunate school run to Emma's breastfeeding journey. Plus there is a genius secret from one mum who is winning at life, and another one involving double trouble... with twins!

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The Chesticles May 02, 2024

This week Sophiena and Emma chat about the reality of dealing with a looming childbirth after we hear from a mum who is weighing up her birthing options. There's another poo incident in the mix and the extra secret of the week has the ladies howling as it's a classic case of children saying the wildest things!

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The Boob-Grabber-In-Law Apr 29, 2024

Another week, another poo secret... But this time it involves a little bit of redecorating. We also hear from a first-time mum who has a handsy encounter with their mother-in-law. Sophiena's been having some lunchbox troubles, and Emma's sleeping patterns are slowly getting better!

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The Speedy Delivery Apr 25, 2024

The ladies are back into the swing of things, and they have loads of your messages and secrets to get through! So we're kicking it off with one mum's rapid childbirth, a listener having school troubles and a secret that will give you the willies.

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The Fu Fu Sideburns Apr 22, 2024

The birthing stories continue this week with Emma telling us all about her c-section experience and a listener getting in touch about her own surprise birth! It doesn't stop there though (unfortunately), because we're getting up close and personal with afterbirth too, and it's safe to say we're all off fruity drinks for a little while after hearing this story.

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The Magic Pumps Apr 15, 2024

Now that the ladies are officially back together, they've got loads to catch up on. Sophiena shares more about her experience in the hospital and NICU, and it's safe to say you'll need your tissues ready. Emma tells us all about how Joseff is getting along with his baby sister, and we have two incredible secrets involving a missing willy and sensual breast pumps.

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The Babies Are Here! Apr 11, 2024

Can you bloody believe it?! The ladies are finally back together but this time, they've brought along Baby Renley and Sadie! With their little humans in tow Sophiena and Emma have A LOT to catch up on.

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The Baby Special... With Chris! Apr 04, 2024

Sophiena’s back and this time, SHE HAS A BABY! We’re officially welcoming little Renley to the Secret Mum Club with a special episode all about his journey into the world. And whilst Emma is busy recovering and enjoying her own bundle of joy, we’ve roped someone in to help. Making his debut is Chris! (AKA Daddy, AKA Pizza Dick.)

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The Mother's Day Special Mar 10, 2024

It's Mother's Day, so of course Sophiena and Emma needed to do a very special episode, on this special day, for every member of The Secret Mum Club! Happy Mother's Day! They have some wonderful messages from you in Correspondence Corner, for the special mums in your life. You'll also hear from our podcast friends at Mummy's Boy with Arthur Hill, The Gossip Gays and On The Sofawith Colson, Jack and Ben. Expect a "heartfelt" poem, love for Beyonce and why a loaf of bread is a perfect Mother's Day gift. Talking of gifts, Sophiena and Emma have picked up presents for each other (not bread) and discuss what a Mother's Day looks like in their households.

Want to get in touch?

E-mail hello@secretmumpod.com or follow us on socials @secretmumpod

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The Best Bits: Poo Special Mar 07, 2024

We're looking back at all the classic Secret Mum Club moments... and this time it's all about number twos! That's right, we're talking poo. It's a running theme on the podcast, and we do love a good poo story! So sit back, relax and let's enjoy some iconic toilet tales!

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The Bonjela Baby Mar 04, 2024

Another week, another story about children shouting out embarrassing stuff in public - and this time it's all to do with size! We also hear about a unique way of getting your younger siblings to stop crying, and we have a touching letter from Jess about her own tooth-breaking story. Meanwhile, the ladies have been battling with sleep, and dreaming of all the foods under the sun. Fair warning, they tell us about their latest cravings so if you're hungry... you're about to get a whole lot hungrier!

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The Brainy Boob Feb 29, 2024

If you're going to learn one thing from today's episode, it's that children are honest - they say it how they see it, and they'll tell you how they feel... even if it does involve violence! And we finally hear from a medical professional about c-sections!

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The First One At Home! Feb 27, 2024

That's right Mum's we're officially out of the studio and recording from home! And with only one disruption from Chrissy (it's not the Secret Daddies Club!), we'd call it a success! The bump countdown continues and it's safe to say those third-trimester symptoms are coming in thick and fast. Sophiena has a WILD secret this week, and Emma shares her children's party woes. Plus we have a sack full of your secrets... and they're eye opening.

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The Instagram Live! Feb 22, 2024

We had such a hoot during our first-ever Insta live that we needed to share it with you (just in case you missed it)! In this 10-minute, home-recorded snippet we hear about Sophiena and Emma's weeks, and it's chaotically fun-filled as always.

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The Hairy White Bum Feb 19, 2024

With not long to go, prep for the babies is underway in both households! As well as running around the house, Sophiena brings us a secret about Colby's football practice. And we have letters from you about an obsession with Hey Duggee (because who doesn't love the stick song??), a nurse's unwarranted nickname for "fu fu cottage cheese", and swimming pool changing room antics.

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The Best Bits: Valentine's Edition Feb 15, 2024

We've had a fair few saucy secrets from you, and seeing as it's Valentine's week, we're re-sharing our favourites! Soph and Emma run through some of the most iconic love-related letters, and react again!

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The Valentine's Surprise Feb 12, 2024

Love is in the air, and the itchy legs brigade is out! We've got three of your Valentine's related secrets and an extra special surprise for the ladies. Stepping away from all the romance we also have a whole bunch of your misheard lyrics suggestions, and they are GOLD!

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The Floater Problem Feb 08, 2024

It turns out Sophiena isn't the only one dealing with floaters in a pool... We hear from a listener who tells us about her own floater stories and there are more pronunciation mishaps at nursery! As it's Internet Safety week, we have a topical secret about keeping children safe online.

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The Slutty Slug Feb 05, 2024

It's finally happened... the ladies watched Saltburn. Traumatised isn't the word. But away from plug-hole licking, Sophiena shares Dottie's latest school troubles, we hear about one toddler's love for Lego Ninjas, and a Mum's loud return to the gym.

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The Wild Urination Feb 01, 2024

Be warned... this episode is full of surprises, and they aren't for the faint of heart. Firstly, we find out that Dottie isn't the only tooth-yanker out there, and then we have a secret with so many twists that you should definitely be sat down for this one.

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The BFF Key Rings Jan 29, 2024

Sophiena and Emma might be taking their relationship to the next level. After seeing Amanda Booth on TikTok's crafty clay work they're thinking of getting BFF Key Rings in the shape of their bum holes (yep, that exists!). As their relationship takes this new high, they also hear from a Mum who needs a bit of advice on administering Calpol, and a little one whose midheard lyric is ICONIC.

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The Magic Photo Jan 25, 2024

What’s creamy, lumpy, and definitely not cottage cheese? You’ll find out soon because this week the ladies dive straight into the bodily fluids chat! On a somewhat cleaner note, they also get some inside knowledge from a midwife, a listener shares their swimming journey, and there’s a case of a badly timed saucy photo.

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The Hairy Bath Jan 22, 2024

The BIG bumps are in full force with Sophiena having regular baths to help alleviate the pressure and Emma having trouble clothes shopping. But even with the bumps growing, the ladies still have time to read your wonderful letters and secrets! This week we have a baby who loves asking you to 'kiss it better', more chocolate starfish chat and a toddler taking inspiration from Shania Twain.

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The Chocolate Starfish Jan 18, 2024

Today's episode starts with a bang as the ladies launch straight into the poop shooter chat. And they find out that bum holes are as unique as snowflakes... according to one of our lovely listeners anyway! You've also written in about baby teeth woes, and an occupational hazard that comes with being a parent.

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The Ham Chant Jan 15, 2024

It’s been quite the week for the ladies, with Emma entertaining a toddler during a check-up and Sophiena facing her fears. But with your letters about poo on the floor, an incident at the opticians, and an exposing chant, it seems they weren’t the only ones! As always today’s episode has a healthy sprinkling of sing-a-longs!

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The Poo Chopper Jan 11, 2024

Not only is it our first Thursday episode of series 2, but it's also the 50th episode of the Secret Mum Club! To celebrate the ladies have more of your correspondence about going on trips without the kids, and there's an extra special surprise after hearing about an unusual use for a poo knife! And as usual, we have an extra secret of the week involving dental hygiene.

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The Tooth Yanker Jan 09, 2024

The ladies are back! It’s the first session of 2024, and there is plenty to catch up on. After jet-setting to the exotic lands of Paris and West Wales, both Sophiena and Emma have many tales from their travels. Plus there are your secrets about an unfortunate trip to IKEA, keeping caffeinated, and a lesson on how to pass the blame for your bum trumpets.

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Happy New Year! Jan 01, 2024

Welcome to 2024 boo! We couldn’t go without wishing you all a happy new year. We’ll be back with more Secret Mum Club antics next week!

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Merry Christmas! Dec 25, 2023

The ladies have a special little festive episode for you filled with presents, crackers and a cheeky bottle of non-alcoholic fizz! Despite there being no alcohol in the vicinity, it’s safe to say the bubbles have definitely had an effect!

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The Family Gyno Dec 21, 2023

It's our last episode before Christmas! And as always, you've sent in some whoppers. One listener tells us about her in-laws having a gynaecologist who is part of the family, we hear about a little boy's milk curiosity, and the ladies discuss the need for biology lessons after a Mum's letter details her husband's lack of knowledge on the female anatomy.

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The Talking Fu Fu Dec 18, 2023

Everyone’s giddy in the studio today. You might think it’s because Christmas is near, or the pregnancy hormones… but in reality it’s due to the completely unhinged secrets and correspondence this week! We’ve got Sophiena’s trip to the Isle of Wight, Emma’s run in with Santa, an unsolicited dildo slap and an animated fu fu… Yep, there is A LOT going on in today’s episode!

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The Baby Beer Goggles Dec 14, 2023

We're getting 'baubles deep' into your messages, and this week we hear back from Tanille who has an explanation about the term "S**t her out", and we have ANOTHER poo knife story, but this time it has a nautical theme. The Extra Secret of the Week comes from a Mum who wants to know if it's normal to think newborns aren't that cute!

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The Milk Cannons Dec 11, 2023

It's busy in the Secret Mum Club during the run-up to Christmas. Sophiena has been trying to navigate living in chaos, whilst Emma has officially recruited her Dad for babysitting duties. But we're never too busy for your correspondence and secrets! We hear from a top 5% listener, a Mum with a magical cupboard, another Mum who had a bit of trouble at the spa, and we've officially extended the list of Daddies in the Secret Mum Club (another one?!).

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The Nappy Technique Dec 07, 2023

It wouldn't be a Secret Mum Episode without a good poo story now would it? Well in today's episode, we have TWO! The ladies are perplexed by one listener's giant poo removal technique, and we get caught in another mum's web of lies! We also have an extra secret of the week about when to have a baby.

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The Dildo Unicorn Dec 04, 2023

What a week for both ladies! One got away with the family and the other has been celebrating a massive poo achievement. We hear from a Mum who struggled with a house guest whilst pregnant, and we've also got double dildo action with two separate Mums having their itchy leg toys exposed!

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The Giant Poo Problem Nov 30, 2023

A new episode... On a Thursday?? YEP! We've had a rejig at the Secret Mum Club HQ which means that you'll get your weekend fix every Thursday! After all, Thursday is the new Friday.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, we have even more of your messages in the Correspondence Corner and an Extra Secret of The Week! Full disclosure, you might want to put your butter knives down before you hear this one.

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The Big Bump Crew Nov 28, 2023

We're back boo! After a short break, Sophiena and Emma are back in the studio... and they have LOADS to catch up on! We hear about the sickness, bath time methods, and as always, there is plenty of chat about bodily functions. Your correspondence and secrets are just as unhinged as this episode with one Dad causing a panic, an unfortunate interaction with a father-in-law and quite possibly the biggest secret we've ever had!

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Introducing... Carrie Jane Does Not Exist Nov 24, 2023

While the ladies are taking a little break, we've got a brand new podcast to keep you company! Carrie Jade Does Not Exist is the story of how one woman, who took on over six different identities, infiltrated the lives of vulnerable people, and lied her way into gaining their trust. Sue Perkins and journalist Katherine Denkinson will tell the story of how Carrie built up a picture-perfect persona and scammed her way into the literary world until she finally got tangled up in her very own web of lies.

Listen to the full six-part series wherever you get your podcasts!

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Lube, Tampons and Glowsticks Nov 13, 2023

There’s a lot of itchy legs chat this week, with Sophiena still not getting jiggy with lube, a listener’s creative use of a sexy cleaners outfit and a teacher’s woe at finding out about a bedroom pole. Emma brings some much needed respite from it all with her weekly round-up and a few more messages from other Mums dealing with clingy toddlers, and a bit of mischief in the garden.

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BONUS: Siblings Nov 10, 2023

We love them, we hate them, but at the end of the day they’re your siblings! Emma and Sophiena go through the ups and downs of growing up with brothers and sisters, plus they try to help listener Sarah who asked how to deal with bickering children.

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The Secret Daddies Club Nov 06, 2023

We always knew the potential power of this podcast… but through a correspondence corner letter, we realise how potent it truly is! This week we hear from our first ever Daddy and as always, you’ve sent in some top notch secrets about spilling crumbs on the baby, and a close call in the hospital!

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BONUS: Breast Feeding and Mum Guilt Nov 03, 2023

The topic this week leads the ladies down a myth-busting trail, as they take on the age-old question is breast best? Plus Emma and Sophiena tell us about their experiences of feeding the babies to help Mum Kara feel less guilty about it all!

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The Baby Oil Text Oct 30, 2023

It’s been a weirdly similar week for the ladies. They both had a scan… and both had a gender reveal mishap! But they’re not the only ones with strange things going on as we hear from one mum whose lube was used unconventionally and a listener who unwillingly learned too much about their parents.

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BONUS: Halloween Oct 27, 2023

We’re back…. BOO! It’s spooky season and the ladies are asked about their opinions on dressing up, trick or treating and all things Halloween.

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The Mum's Night Out Oct 23, 2023

The baby chat is in full swing now that Sophiena and Emma's secrets are out of the bag! And there may be a cheeky mini-announcement in this week’s episode too! We hear from one Mum in shock at her son’s impeccable use of a swear word, and we’re throwing back to the teenage years with a secret involving N-Dubz, Lambrini and squatting in the loo.

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BONUS: Preparing For A Baby Oct 20, 2023

There are Bobs, bumps and beans all over the Secret Mum Club, but preparing for them to come into the world can be daunting! Not to worry though, because Sophiena and Emma are bringing out the checklist in today’s bonus episode for a topic suggested by Mia who asked how to prepare for a baby.

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We're Going On A Bear Hunt Oct 16, 2023

This week, Sophiena's officially become a Soccer Mom, enthusiastically chanting on the sidelines. Emma has had to deal with acidic poos whilst Steffan was on a golf trip. Soph’s secret of the week involves the class bear going on a bigger, much longer adventure than had been intended, but at least his autumn look was on point. Plus, one listener shares her daughter's solution if you don’t have a plaster for a cut, just use a tampon!

PS This episode was recorded before Emma’s amazing news, more on that in future episodes!

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BONUS: Bedtime Oct 13, 2023

This week's bonus was suggested by Jade who is having trouble getting her little one to bed, and as always, Emma and Sophiena are on hand to give their sage advice.

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We Have ANOTHER Announcement! Oct 12, 2023

Two announcements in three weeks?! What could it be this time? Sophiena and Emma spill even more beans in this emergency episode!

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The Red Velvet Brownie Incident Oct 09, 2023

The news is officially out there, and we've had some amazing messages from you about Sophiena's pregnancy! You've also been in touch with some big secrets this week, with one mum Googling what to do with a baby when you need a number two, and another being told she has a certain stinky body part! As always Sophiena brings us her secret of the week, which requires listener discretion for all brownie lovers out there.

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BONUS: Sleepovers Oct 06, 2023

We hear from Rebecca who wants to know how the ladies feel about sleepovers for the kids... And it's safe to say they both have strong opinions! Emma shares a few anecdotes from her sleepover experiences and Sophiena tells us how the children got on with their first sleepover! If you have any sleepover stories you'd like to share, email us at hello@secretmumpod.com.

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The Loo Roll Black Hole Oct 02, 2023

Emma’s had quite the week with Stefan off for a “weekend” with the lads, and Sophiena tells us about her underwhelming day trip with the children. The ladies don’t often do maths on the podcast, but for this one mum and her loo roll secret they’ve pulled out the calculator! We’ve also received a word of warning from a gaming mummy, and our final secret might have you rolling on the floor.

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BONUS: Feeding The Kids Sep 29, 2023

It's time to talk about feeding the kids! Our topic comes from listener Vick who asked the ladies how to get children to eat their veggies, and let me tell you... they do not disappoint! From sneaking them into a spag-bol to eating food with them, Sophiena and Emma have loads of nifty tricks to get your little ones eating their five a day.

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We’ve Got An Announcement! Sep 28, 2023

There is some HUGE NEWS at the Secret Mum Club HQ! In this emergency announcement special episode, Sophiena and Emma spill the beans.

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The Trendy Fu Fu Sep 25, 2023

We’re firmly back to school and the ladies share how Colby, Dottie and Joseff are getting on in their new surroundings… some more chaotic than others! Meanwhile, some of our incredible listeners have written in about the things their parents lied to them about, toddler tantrums in the middle of Primark, and a very attentive young one who is keeping up with hair grooming trends.

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BONUS: Back To School Sep 22, 2023

We’re back boo! This week’s bonus topic comes from listener Steph, who wants to know how to get back to normal after the school holidays, and the ladies have plenty to say on the matter! From Sophiena’s current struggles with Dottie sleeping to Emma figuring out Joseff’s nursery schedule, we’ve got you covered.

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The Miracle of Fu Fu-Crem Sep 18, 2023

Having only just recovered from a sickness bug, Sophiena is back in the studio with a new lease on life and a secret that involves Dottie, Chris and old pizza. Emma’s brought in some more hilarious letters from you about almost being caught mid itchy legs, swearing children and a razor mix-up!

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BONUS: Family Holidays Sep 15, 2023

It’s our FIRST EVER Secret Mum Club bonus episode! Each week Sophiena and Emma will be delving into a topic, as chosen by you! This week they are discussing Family Holidays after receiving a message from Danielle who asked for some top tips on travelling with kids. From what to pack, to distraction techniques the ladies have got it covered.

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Where Are The Tampoons? Sep 11, 2023

It’s another wild week in the Secret Mum Club. Sophiena’s been busy plotting a surprise for the kids and Emma’s had her hands full with Joseff. And, as always, your letters and secrets are keeping the ladies on their toes! This week we hear about a love for pre-pregnancy belly buttons, a situation in a public toilet, and how going knicker-less can be more than you bargained for.

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My Bum’s Had An Idea! Sep 04, 2023

The school holidays are coming to a close and Sophiena is dreading the start of term. Emma on the other hand is enjoying Joseff’s first full day at nursery! We have three bottom-related letters over on Correspondence Corner, we hear about an ingenious five-year-old’s bum, a horrendous car fart, and relieving yourself outdoors.

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Bucket Crotch Baddies Aug 28, 2023

It’s a bug-filled week for Sophiena and Emma, with both of them having insect mishaps! We hear from a few ladies who also have to do the ‘Bath water boogie’ after entering a body of water, and we’re told about an unfortunate itchy legs consequence!

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Water Had Shot Up My Hole Aug 21, 2023

Sophiena and Emma are back together again, discussing birthday celebrations, STIs and discoloured kitchen utensils. There’s more brilliant stories from you, including a close call at a water park, that wasn't what it seemed, and more itchy legs shenanigans. Plus you’ve been sharing your secrets on unwanted babysitters, potty training and your CBeebies crush.

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I Draw The Line At The Poo Aug 14, 2023

It’s the start of the school holidays and the ladies have had very different weeks. Sophiena has been busy keeping the kids entertained at home whilst Emma chats about living it up on holiday! Bringing their weeks together are your messages and secrets! We hear about kids playing with tampons, parents struggling with snacking children and an unfortunate mooning incident.

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Happy Birthday To Us! Aug 07, 2023

Sophiena’s pulled out all the stops with Emma’s birthday gifts, and she’s even had some podcast-branded items made! The ladies talk about their birthday celebrations and Sophiena’s post-bath problems. Plus this week Emma has three secrets about interrupting itchy leg time, building up the confidence to leave your baby, and kids picking up swear words!

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There Was Dog Poo Flying Everywhere Jul 31, 2023

It’s been another rollercoaster week for Sophiena and Emma. One is battling with the effects of hay fever and being poked in the nipples, whilst the other had a walk in the park filled with bodily fluids. We also hear secrets and messages about baby eating habits, using “The Period” as an excuse for everything, and the things you say when your child is getting on your nerves!

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Fu Fu Crumbs Jul 24, 2023

It’s been a week of trips with the kids for Sophiena and Emma, with one being surrounded by sand, and the other in a dodgy hotel. Sophiena is spoiling us with not one… but TWO secrets and Emma shares all of the secrets you’ve been sending in, including dealing with biting toddlers, postpartum and a “fartectomy”.

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The Engagement Special! Jul 17, 2023

It's official... Sophiena and Chris are engaged! After eight years and two wonderful children, Chris finally popped the question! In this very special episode, Sophiena reveals all about the moment he got down on one knee and the ring, plus Emma has come prepared with all of your questions and a cheeky celebratory tipple!

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I Gave Myself The Ick Jul 10, 2023

It’s a week of self-care in the Secret Mum Club with Emma getting a haircut, Sophiena carrying on with her Invisalign journey and a listener asking if she should be spending more time pampering herself. We also hear from a mum who isn’t too keen on giving her kids a mobile phone, and a listener who is wondering if having less “itchy leg time” is normal. If you have a secret you'd like to share with us, send it to hello@secretmumpod.com.

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I Was Just Scratching Mummy’s Legs! Jul 03, 2023

It’s been a good week in the Secret Mum Club despite Sophiena battling with the carpets in her house, and Emma recovering from a big night out. To help keep the hangover at bay, the ladies discuss the age-old question of how old is too old for the children to bathe together and we hear secrets from parents about a harmless school gate group gossip turning sour; when getting freaky between the sheets doesn’t go to plan; and an unfortunate self-tanning incident!

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Venetian Plaster or Poo? Jun 26, 2023

Sophiena’s had a nightmare of a week, with Dotty needing a trip to A&E, and calling a meeting with Colby’s school… It’s safe to say a strong bevvy is well deserved. Emma brings three brand new secrets to the table about bragging parents, keeping the good snacks away from the kids, and the feeling of losing yourself. If you have a secret you'd like to share with us, send it to hello@secretmumpod.com.

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Hello… I’m Knicker-less Jun 19, 2023

It’s been a lovely week for the ladies as Sophiena has been busy celebrating her anniversary, and Emma is appreciating getting more rest! We’ve also got a few of your secrets, from being mistaken as pregnant, to despising playing with train sets and feeling guilty when the kids get bumps and bruises.

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What Happens In The Secret Mum Club, Stays In The Secret Mum Club Jun 12, 2023

This week Sophiena bares all from her wild week which includes accidentally shoplifting and an unbearable revelation about the Titanic. Meanwhile, we share your secrets about dealing with a multitude of questions when you have twins, losing friends when you become a Mum, and sleeping techniques.

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Welcome to the Secret Mum Club! Jun 05, 2023

Come in and join the Secret Mum Club with Sophiena and Emma as they crack into the world of motherhood. In this very special first episode, we hear secrets from Mums who are troubled with co-sleeping, growing beards and not getting on with other parents. Remember this is a judgement-free zone for Mums everywhere, after all… we’re all in this together!

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Secret Mum Club Jun 01, 2023

Sophiena is opening up her Secret Mum Club, the place for all Mums to share all their secrets. From the silly to the serious, this is a totally anonymous place for parents to get things off their chest, because as we all know, we’re all in this together. Joining Sophiena will be her Secret Queen co-host Emma, who will be keeping Soph on her toes and revealing the stories you submit.

To get your secret read out on the podcast, email hello@secretmumpod.com, follow us on socials @secretmumpod and - like any good secret - tell all your friends about us!

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