Stay ConnectedSchool of Self-Image is the go-to podcast for women who desire to transform their self-image so that they can create mind-blowing results in their lives. Join Master Life Coach, Tonya Leigh, as she shares tips, ideas, and inspiring conversations around elevating your mindset, style, and surroundings to create an extraordinary self-image. Episodes are released each Wednesday.
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Emotional Regulation: The New Discipline for a Chaotic World
Emotional regulation has become an essential skill for personal growth and success, especially in today's fast-paced and often chaotic world. The ability to manage one's emotional responses, rather than attempting to control external circumstances, is crucial for effectively navigating life's challenges.
Tonya Leigh explores the crucial concept of emotional regulation in today's fast-paced and divisive world. Tonya emphasizes that instead of trying to control external circumstances, our true power lies in managing our emotional responses. She begins with a personal check-in, encouraging listeners to assess their feelings on a scale from zero to ten.
Despite facing significant challenges, including her father's illness and business setbacks, Tonya shares how her commitment to self-work has helped her maintain a positive outlook, rating her emotional state as a nine. The episode highlights the importance of nurturing our nervous systems and offers insights into overcoming fear of the future.
Tune in for valuable strategies on how to cultivate emotional resilience and thrive in turbulent times.
Talking Points:
00:44 - Self-Check: How Are You Feeling? 02:09 - Fear of the Future and Self-Image 04:45 - Understanding Self-Image and State of Being 08:42 - Subconscious Blocks and Self-Image 11:51 - External Control vs. Internal Regulation 15:01 - Self-Soothing and Mothering Yourself 18:44 - Regulation in Entrepreneurship 22:42 - New You, New Nervous System 23:14 - Join the School of Self-Image
Quotes:
"Regulation is the new discipline because we are living in some wild times."
"If you don't decide on purpose, if you don't take ownership of that, you are going to have a very dysregulated nervous system."
"A lot of us are just walking around as children in adult bodies."
"When you start becoming this person for yourself, you will be amazed at what you're capable of."
"I'm going to be the one that changes. That's when miracles happen."
"When you can regulate your nervous system and you don't freak out, when you have that ability to just take a pause, go in, take some breaths, calm yourself down, remind yourself, I'm safe in this moment."
Useful Resources:
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Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
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The Power of Believing: How to Cultivate Unshakable Faith in Yourself
To have unshakable faith in your future, you need three types of faith:
Faith in Your Future: Believe in your vision and choose thoughts that make your future feel exciting and aligned.
Faith in Yourself: Trust yourself and keep promises to yourself. This builds self-confidence and reduces fear of the future.
Faith in the Process: Trust that every experience, good or bad, is part of your evolution. Life's challenges are stepping stones to something meaningful.
Host Tonya Leigh explores the transformative power of unshakable faith in shaping our actions, mindset, and resilience during uncertain times. Tonya shares her excitement about an upcoming workshop focused on cultivating inner calm and confidence, emphasizing the importance of believing in our ability to rise and thrive. She reflects on her personal journey of shedding subconscious patterns over the past six months, revealing how this growth has prepared her to bring a renewed perspective to the workshop.
Tune in to discover how to strengthen your faith in the future and embrace the changes necessary for personal development.
Talking Points:
01:15 - Shedding Layers 03:35 - Excitement About the Future 06:16 - Believing Before Seeing 08:47 - Unshakable Faith in Your Direction 11:49 - Three Types of Faith Needed 17:09 - Keeping Promises to Yourself 20:00 - Criticism and Staying True to Yourself 24:17 - Falling in Love with the Process 25:11 - Connection Between Faith and a Calm Body 26:04 - Visualization Exercise
Quotes:
"None of us are here to live a small life."
"More than ever, we need to have faith in our futures because faith acts as an anchor during uncertainty."
"Why not take back imaginative control as to what you want to think and believe about your future?"
"The beauty of having unshakable faith in yourself is that you stop being afraid of the future."
"It's when we doubt our future, when we doubt ourselves and we doubt the process. That's when we don't show up."
"Your future is shaped by the faith that you practice today."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE for the Unshakeable Workshop
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
Unshakeable: Redefining Success on Your Own Terms
In the pursuit of success, many individuals find themselves chasing external markers—such as wealth, recognition, or status—believing that these achievements will bring them happiness and fulfillment. However, as discussed in the podcast episode, true success, or "elegant success," is fundamentally about creating a life that aligns with your personal values and brings genuine satisfaction.
Host Tonya Leigh explores the concept of elegant success—success that is rooted in personal values, alignment, and ease, rather than societal pressures to do more and be more. Tonya shares her reflections on the importance of creating a fulfilling life that feels good on the inside, as well as the challenges many are facing in today's uncertain world. Drawing from her personal experiences, including navigating her own emotional landscape during difficult times, she emphasizes the significance of managing one's nervous system and internal world to cultivate resilience and peace.
Tune in for insights that challenge traditional definitions of success and encourage listeners to redefine what it means to thrive.
Talking Points:
00:33 - Rethinking Success
01:15 - Uncertainty and the Nervous System
03:02 - Leading Through Uncertainty
05:44 - Elegant Success: What No One Tells You
07:08 - The Messiness of Success
10:07 - Life and Business Changes
13:10 - Trusting Your Gut
16:21 - Releasing with Grace
18:05 - Feeling Lost Before Clarity
20:15 - Shedding Old Identities
23:04 - The Emptiness of Misaligned Success
25:01 - Reconnecting with Your Essence
26:05 - Navigating Back to Your North Star
Quotes: "What if the real flex is creating a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside?"
"Elegant success is creating the life you desire without abandoning yourself in the process."
"I've encountered so much peace by just accepting that it's going to feel elegant and then it's going to feel messy again."
"You cannot evolve and expect everyone to come with you."
"The doubt that you may be feeling, well, it's not failure, it's just feedback."
"I started to trade my truth for someone else's checklist, and I was shaping my life around approval instead of alignment."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE for the Unshakable Workshop
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
Three Moments That Almost Broke Me—and Made Me Stronger
Life is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it is often during our most challenging moments that we discover our true strength. In the latest episode of the School of Self-Image, Tonya Leigh shares her personal experiences of facing adversity and how these moments ultimately shaped her into a stronger, more resilient version of herself.
Tonya opens up about her own transformative life moments that felt overwhelmingly challenging. She shares her vulnerability in recording this episode, revealing the resistance she faced and the importance of showing the raw, real version of ourselves. Tonya discusses the concept of wabi-sabi, an ancient Japanese philosophy that appreciates beauty in imperfection and incompleteness, contrasting it with our perfection-obsessed culture.
Join her as she explores how the toughest experiences can ultimately shape and strengthen our character. Tune in for an inspiring conversation on embracing our flaws and the growth that comes from life's challenges.
Talking Points:
00:33 - The Challenge of Vulnerability 01:38 - Embracing Imperfection: The Wabi-Sabi Philosophy 02:31 - Life's Breaking Points 04:06 - Moment 1: Divorce and Single Motherhood 07:04 - Moment 2: Battling an Eating Disorder 13:17 - Moment 3: Daughter's Illness and Personal Sacrifice 22:42 - Reflections and Lessons Learned 25:19 - Encouragement for Those Struggling 26:03 - Embracing the Journey
Quotes:
"It wasn't breaking me. It was making me unbreakable."
"It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to be supported. It's okay to not know how to do this on your own."
"No matter how down you think you are, don't give up on yourself because remember, those moments, they're what's making you stronger."
"I think the biggest gift that came out of this was... she appreciates and takes care of herself in such a way that I don't think she would have had this not happened."
"You don't give up on the dream, but you may have to adjust your goals."
"You are not falling apart. You're actually falling into yourself."
"It doesn't mean that you're weak. It means that you're human."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
The Lightning Strike: A Wake-Up Call to Live Fully
In our fast-paced lives, it's easy to let moments slip by unnoticed, overshadowed by distractions and the constant hum of to-do lists. However, as Tonya Leigh emphasizes in this episode, life doesn't need to be grand to feel fulfilling; it simply needs to be fully lived. The key to unlocking joy, clarity, and confidence lies in maximizing our moments.
Tonya shares a deeply personal story inspired by a frightening experience during a flight from Charlotte to Boston. While 15,000 to 20,000 feet in the air, an unexpected flash of light shook the plane, sending passengers into a panic. Tonya recounts her reaction of stillness amidst chaos, highlighting the importance of maximizing moments in life. She emphasizes that life doesn't need to be bigger to feel better; rather, it requires a fuller experience.
Join Tonya as she explores how to unlock more joy, clarity, and confidence in your everyday moments. Grab your tea or coffee and prepare for an enlightening discussion on living fully.
Talking Points:
00:43 - Tonya's Scary Flight Experience 03:23 - Realization of Life's Value 05:09 - What Really Matters 07:16 - How We Minimize Moments 09:53 - Deep Presence and Awareness 13:23 - Focusing on Lack vs. Appreciation 18:10 - Wealth and Maximizing Resources 22:28 - Investing in Inspiration 24:46 - Living in Gratitude
Quotes:
"It woke me up to what really, really matters."
"As long as I have my life, I have possibility."
"When you are present, you'll realize you're okay in this moment without all of the mental drama."
"The practice of appreciation will change your life."
"Focusing on what you already have and maximizing it will lead to discoveries and results that will expand your life."
"The best way to do that is to make here so full that you outgrow it."
"You don't need more time. You just need more aliveness in the time you already have."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
The Art of Joyfully Hustling: Balancing Ambition and Ease
In today's fast-paced world, the tension between hustle culture and the soft life often leads individuals to feel they must choose one over the other. However, finding a balance between these two energies is essential for a fulfilling life. Both hustle and softness are necessary components that contribute to our growth and overall well-being.
Host Tonya Leigh delves into the intriguing balance between hustle culture and the soft life. She discusses how neither approach alone is sufficient for achieving the life we truly desire. Instead, the key lies in 'joyfully hustling,' which blends ambition with ease and structure with spaciousness. Tonya also shares her personal journey of transitioning to video podcasting and the importance of embracing growth in areas where we feel resistance.
Join her as she explores how to create a harmonious rhythm in pursuing big dreams while enjoying a beautiful life.
Talking Points:
00:22 - Balancing Big Dreams and a Soft Life 03:45 - Soft Life vs. Hustle Culture 05:09 - Defining the Soft Life 09:27 - Understanding Hustle Culture 13:19 - Toxic Hustle and Balance 17:04 - Physiological Need for Rhythm 19:02 - Masculine and Feminine Energies 22:04 - Reflective Questions for Balance 27:01 - Softening into Your Ideal Life 29:08 - The Curated Day Practice 32:08 - Daily Intentions and Energy 33:01 - Finding Your Rhythm
Quotes:
"The magic, it lives in the rhythm and the blend and what I call joyfully hustling."
"It's saying I don't have to hustle for my worth. I get to live well now, not someday."
"Your worth isn't measured by how exhausted you are."
"You become a woman who knows how to work with her own energy instead of against it, and that is powerful."
"Sometimes hustle sneaks in wearing the costume of ambition, but underneath it's just fear."
"A soft life isn't about zoning out, it's about zoning in, into pleasure, into presence, into what you really want your life to feel like."
"Intentionally creating your days leads to a life beyond your wildest dreams."
"Your life is not a problem to solve. It's a masterpiece to curate."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
The Drama Triangle Explained: How to Reclaim Your Power
The Drama Triangle, a concept developed by psychologist Stephen Karpman, illustrates how individuals can become entangled in a cycle of emotional exhaustion and conflict through three distinct roles: the victim, the rescuer, and the villain. Each role plays a significant part in perpetuating drama in our lives, often without our conscious awareness.
Host Tonya Leigh explores the concept of the Drama Triangle, a framework that reveals the subconscious patterns we create in our lives. The discussion highlights how many people gravitate towards drama, whether for a sense of identity, adrenaline, or connection, often without realizing it. Tonya emphasizes that while some drama may serve a purpose, much of it keeps us trapped in familiar, chaotic states, preventing us from experiencing peace and ease in our lives.
Tune in as we break down the three roles in the Drama Triangle—victim, villain, and hero—and how to recognize and escape these patterns to achieve a more elegant and fulfilling life.
00:47 - The Allure of Drama: Why We Create It
01:03 - Craving Peace and Elegance
02:09 - Role 1: The Victim
04:16 - The Victim's Self-Image
07:10 - Role 2: The Rescuer
09:50 - Examples of the Rescuer Role
11:07 - The Rescuer's Self-Image
16:00 - Role 3: The Villain
19:30 - Examples of the Villain Role
22:26 - The Villain's Self-Image
23:32 - Stepping Out of the Drama Triangle
24:03 - Becoming the Main Character
Quotes:
"What we crave is a sense of ease, a sense of peace, a sense of elegance in our lives, which means that we're going to have to give up some of the drama."
"You're not the problem, but you are the solution."
"If you want to grow your impact, if you want to have more ease in your life, you must be willing to let other people fail."
"I'm only valuable when I'm needed."
"The control, the criticism, and the blame comes from a fear of losing control, of not being enough, of being exposed."
"You're the main character, but more importantly, you're also the writer and the director."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
Clearing the Clutter: Transforming Your Self-Image for a New Season
Spring is often associated with renewal and fresh beginnings, and this concept can be applied to our self-image as well. Just as we clean out our closets or declutter our homes, we can also take the time to refresh how we see ourselves and how we show up in the world.
Host Tonya Leigh explores the concept of spring cleaning your self-image, much like we do with our homes. As nature begins to awaken from winter, it's the perfect time to reflect on how we perceive ourselves and make necessary changes for personal growth. The host invites listeners to embrace this season of renewal by clearing out old beliefs and habits that no longer serve them and to welcome in new, positive energy that aligns with the woman they're becoming.
Join us as we discuss practical steps to refresh your self-image, create an environment that supports your evolution, and ignite your journey toward self-reinvention. Get ready to dive deep and transform your perspective this spring!
Talking Points:
00:47 - A Time for Reinvention 02:02 - Identify the Area to Spring Clean 04:00 - Paint the Vision for Your After Story 07:10 - Clear the Clutter of Limiting Beliefs 12:21 - Bring in Fresh Energy and New Beliefs 20:02 - Protect the Space with Boundaries and Systems 27:52 - Elevate and Upgrade Your Environment
Quotes:
"Within each of us, we always have a new after story that's just waiting to be revealed, waiting to be experienced, waiting to be created, but you have to paint it first."
"Identity is built in tiny decisions."
"If you continue to do what you're doing for the next 10 years, are you going to like the result?"
"My workouts go in my calendar like a meeting with my most important client because honestly, I am."
"If you love this podcast, if it brings a spark of joy to your life, if it's helped you to navigate some challenging times."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
Cultivating Quiet Confidence as a Woman
In today's fast-paced world, power is often associated with loudness, dominance, and aggressive behavior. However, Tonya Leigh highlights a different perspective: quiet power, which is rooted in presence, certainty, and self-trust. This form of power is not about making noise or asserting oneself over others; rather, it embodies a calm and confident energy that naturally commands respect.
The concept of "quiet power" and what it truly means to be a strong, influential woman without conforming to traditional expectations of dominance. Tonya reflects on her personal journey and how her quietness and feminine energy have often been misinterpreted as weaknesses. She shares insights on the importance of authenticity and self-trust, emphasizing that true power lies in being aligned with one's true self rather than succumbing to external pressures.
Join Tonya as she uncovers how to embrace your presence, influence without force, and become undeniably powerful in your own unique way.
Talking Points:
01:42 - Misalignment and Loss of Power 04:25 - True Power and Insecurity 06:33 - Knowing Your Worth 11:04 - Acting Out of Character 14:49 - Rosa Parks' Quiet Defiance 18:24 - Unshakable Boundaries 22:07 - Importance of Emotional Management 26:04 - Dressing and Moving with Intentionality 28:29 - Embodying Quiet Power 30:22 - Taking Action Without Announcing
Quotes:
"If you are trying to be something that your soul is not in alignment with, if you are trying to be powerful in a way that doesn't feel true to you, there is going to be misalignment."
"I am that quiet power. I have no interest in dominating you. I want us all to win together."
"Her strength lay in her unshakable presence, her certainty, and her quiet refusal to be moved, literally and figuratively."
"There's something magnetic about a woman who's in that energy that's just so in who she is, who's so present, who has nothing to prove and everything to give."
"How would you dress, walk, and speak if you fully believed in your power?"
"A woman with quiet power doesn't waste time talking about what she's going to do. She just does it."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Self-Help
Personal development is often viewed as a daunting task, laden with pressure to achieve specific milestones or conform to societal expectations. However, as discussed in the podcast episode, it should be approached as an invitation—a joyful endeavor that encourages you to discover and express the most vibrant version of yourself.
Tonya Leigh explores the paradox of self-help: how even with the right resources and strategies, individuals can still feel stuck. She emphasizes that the way self-help is approached can significantly impact one's progress. Tonya shares insights from her recent quarterly retreat with her team, focusing on the concept of essentialism—doing less but with greater impact. She encourages listeners to examine their current practices, identifying what adds value and what may be holding them back.
Join Tonya as she dives deeper into the pitfalls of self-help and offers actionable guidance to help you move forward on your personal development journey.
Talking Points:
00:09 - Introduction: Feeling Stuck in Self-Help 01:52 - Why Self-Help Might Be Keeping You Stuck 02:44 - The Pressure to Go Bigger in Personal Development 05:03 - Shifting from Extraordinary to Signature Goals 08:05 - Obsessing Over Every Thought 11:07 - Constant Consumption Mode 15:02 - Taking Action to Reinforce Self-Image 17:10 - Belief That You Need to Be Fixed 20:03 - Personal Growth as an Invitation, Not an Obligation 21:51 - The Importance of Environment in Personal Development 25:32 - You Are Not Broken, You Are Whole
Quotes:
"If you're trying to expand into things that aren't for you, that really don't align with your values, that don't really light you up, it can feel very, very empty."
"When your growth is aligned with your truth, it stops feeling like pressure and starts feeling like a privilege."
"If you're just consuming and not putting what you learn into practice, all you have is a lot of unrealized knowledge."
"When you let go of the idea that you're broken, everything will change."
"Shouldn't personal growth be inspiring, not exhausting?"
"Your surroundings can either reinforce a self-image that you desire or keep you stuck in an old identity."
"News alert, you're not broken."
Useful Resources:
Click HERE to join the Membership
Click HERE for a FREE download
Click HERE to sign up for our newsletter, The Edit
Connect with Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh:
Click HERE to follow our Instagram
Click HERE to visit our website
Click HERE to visit our Facebook group
Click HERE to follow our TikTok
Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel
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