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    Health

    Savage Lovecast

    Dan Savage, America’s only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © Copyright 2010

    • Apple Podcasts
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    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    Savage Lovecast Episode 886 Oct 17, 2023
    Show notes

    A masochistic woman is happily paired with her sadist. They both love it when he bites her. But lately, she’s become more sensitive, maybe because she stopped taking hormonal birth control. In the past few sessions, she had to use her safe word and he’s beginning to sulk. How can they get back to the rough love bites they both crave?

    33 eggs: That’s how many of a woman’s eggs are sitting in a test tube somewhere, awaiting fertilization. She is in her mid 30s, and is about to marry her 42 year-old boyfriend. Neither of them particularly want kids, but they might someday. How can she tell if she’ll ever want children?

    On the Magnum, Dan speaks with French philosopher and author Manon Garcia about her new book “The Joy of Consent: A Philosophy of Sex.”

    A gay man in his 40s isn’t very close to his 18 year-old nephew. But now that the boy has come out, the caller wonders if he should reach out with some avuncular advice about PrEP, monkeypox and other adult subject he’ll need to know as a gay man.


    Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064


    This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

    This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

    This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.


    Savage Lovecast Episode 885 Oct 10, 2023
    Show notes

    A man’s dad is deeply, absurdly closeted. He has been married to the caller’s mother for decades, but could never admit the truth. Now the caller’s mom has dementia and angrily brings it up to shame her husband in front of her sons. Should the caller tell his dad that he knows he’s gay? Should he tell his mother to stop being so cruel?

    Hear the agonizing tale of the woman whose boyfriend of 3 months ghosted her without explanation. Spooky.

    Our Magnum guest this week is Bryan Safi from the “Attitudes” and “Groceries” podcast. Is there anyone more quick witted than Bryan Safi? No, there is not. He and Dan talk about dick slapping (normal!) a worrisome humorlessness amongst young gay men, and whether being a dom makes you a misogynist, white supremacist. (Spoiler: It doesn’t.) Look! Look at Bryan! https://www.instagram.com/bryansafi/

    And, a woman got all gussied up for her Hinge date at a nice restaurant. At the last minute he asked if she would like to just come over to his place instead. Is this poor behavior common? Acceptable?


    Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064


    Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

    This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage.


    Savage Lovecast Episode 884 Oct 03, 2023
    Show notes

    A man has discovered his love for wearing feminine clothing. His friends and fiancé are all supportive. But his brother- not so much. Should the caller just expect to move through the world offending people with his unconventional dress?

    A gay transman has started having kinky hookups. Although he doesn’t want the intimacy associated with “after-care” he does need a little TLC after the more rough encounters. How can he give that to himself?


    On the Magnum, Dan speaks with infectious disease specialist Dr. Oliver Bacon, Medical Director of the San Fransisco City Clinic, about Doxy-PEP as a means for STI prevention. Along with PrEP, gay sexual health has much improved. They also talk about poppers: How do they work, and how safe are they?

    A woman has an old friend from college who she’s mostly lost touch with. She heard through the grapevine that her kid is exploring their gender identity. Should the caller reach out and offer encouragement even though they never talk these days?


    Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064


    This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.


    This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.


    Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!


    Savage Lovecast Episode 883 Sep 26, 2023
    Show notes

    A 24 year-old single woman wants to learn how to perform dirty talk, but she has no one to practice on. How can she learn the dark art?

    A woman is newly out of her bad relationship, and into a joyful era of slutting around. She’s happy as a clam, but when her parents ask about her love life, they treat her like a sad spinster. How can she explain that she’s doing JUST FINE without going into too much detail?

    On the Magnum, have you heard of the movie “Caligula?” It was a 1979 film produced by Penthouse Magazine’s Bob Guccione and packed with stars from the day like Malcom McDowell Peter O’Toole, and Helen Mirren. And it freaked everyone out! Due to its sexual and violent content, it was the only movie that Roger Ebert walked out of. And now…it’s back! Dan brings on writer and artist Thomas Negovan to talk about how he gained access to the original footage, recut it and made the Caligula that everyone wants to see. (It played at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, so.) Would you like to hear about this? Subscribe to listen in.

    And, a woman’s in-laws are threatening to descend on her home for Thanksgiving. Not only will the guest list increase to a whole new level, but they all love to watch football, which the caller detests. She likes to spend the holiday with her own family one-on-one. How can she prevent this disaster?


    Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064


    This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

    This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage.

    This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.


    Savage Lovecast Episode 882 Sep 19, 2023
    Show notes

    We start the show with two ass-tastic calls! A domme woman has a pet boy who wants to eat things out of her butt. He suggests licorice. Any ideas for safe food items to be served out the back? And, another woman jokingly asked her husband to eat the dried mango slices he so adores off her ass. When he complied, she discovered that she really, really liked it. How can she get him to keep doing it, even though she knows it’s terribly weird?

    A lovely, curvy woman in Paris can’t find men to date her because of an anti-fat bias amongst French men. Should she move to another city?

    Our guest this week is Tawny Lara. She is an advice columnist better known as “The Sober Sexpert” and author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. She and Dan talk about the massive brain hack it takes to get clean and discover sex/dating without alcohol. A little of this conversation is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.

    And, a sugar baby wonders if she should ask her much older sugar daddy to get a face lift.




    We just can’t make this stuff up.

    Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064



    This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld for free, and get access to a free month of Majestic Membership when you go to feeld.co/savage


    Savage Lovecast Episode 881 Sep 12, 2023
    Show notes

    A woman is enjoying a new friends-with-benefits relationship. She booked them an airBnB, but he had to cancel because his mother had a stroke. Now she feels insecure about him. Should she keep reaching out to try to make the tryst happen? Or wait and give him space? Is he lying about his mother?

    A sub, masochist woman is into intense head-trips with her dom online-only play partner. He went too far into violent story-telling until she had to end the session. He responded kindly and appropriately with after-care. But now she wonders if he’s a genuinely bad person.

    On the Magnum, Dan chats with culture & lifestyle writer Darshita Goyal about the Facebook group phenomenon “Are we dating the same guy?” Is this an empowering whisper network for women? Or an on-ramp to cyber-bullying?

    A woman and her boyfriend are in an open relationship where they are each allowed to have sex with other people, but sleepovers are verboten. He got together with a hottie and she ended up sleeping at his house because he didn’t have the heart to wake her up and send her packing. He violated their rules, but are the rules too harsh?



    Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064


    Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage


    This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage.


    Savage Lovecast Episode 880 Sep 05, 2023
    Show notes

    We open the show with two questions from people who think they are aromantic. One of them is a woman with two sweet boyfriends, but worries she’s not giving each of them what they deserve. The other is a gay man who has never felt the jolt and tingle of new love. Will he ever be swept off his feet?

    Our caller is starting a female-only book club reading works by, for and about women. A male friend of hers offered to be their naked servant, making drinks and offering snacks to the clothed attendees. The caller is delighted to make this happen, but there’s a hitch…

    On the Magnum, we suspect that some of you might have Relationship OCD. Dan interviews Sheva Rajaee who literally wrote the book about it. They talk about how we put irrational expectations on relationships (the myth of “The One” for example ) and how anxiety can govern our romantic lives rather than good ole intuition.

    And, a man has a big, big crush on his co-worker. She is crushing right back. However! She is married with 4 little kids. Their industry is high-pressure, unique and they work closely together. They haven’t consummated their attraction for each other yet. But for how long can he live in limbo?


    This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

    This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

    This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.


    Savage Lovecast Episode 879 Aug 29, 2023
    Show notes

    A transman is under deep cover in his hostile, misogynistic, anti-queer work environment. And what’s more, one of his co-workers is probably a closet case who has a crush on the caller! Complicated! Dangerous!

    A straight man has become dependent on anal sex in order to come. Did porn hijack his erotic life? His previous girlfriend was into it, but how can he find another willing partner?

    On the Magnum, Dan brings on Sex Therapist Claire Perelman to talk about some of the problems that plague couples. Like, infidelity, threeways and pooping in the shower. She handles Dan Savage’s world with grace.

    And, a woman doesn’t mind the dick pics. It’s when the photo includes sex with another woman that has her irked. Was the other woman consenting to have her picture shared? Who knows? Why do men do this?


    Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064


    This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to https://beducate.me/pd2328-savage and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 40% off.


    Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!


    Savage Lovecast Episode 878 Aug 22, 2023
    Show notes

    “Son, I’m open.” A gay man has a great relationship with his son. They hang out together, and the son drops by all the time. The caller has a boyfriend who also get along with his son. But what the son doesn’t know, is that they have an open relationship, so sometimes the caller welcomes other men into his house. What if his son drops by then? Should he explain his open relationship ahead of time?

    A woman’s boyfriend proposed to her in a public, grand gesture. She hated it. They had never discussed marriage before, and the caller is skeptical of both weddings and the concept of wedlock. She said yes, only to avoid causing a scene. What now? Should she rescind her “yes?” Or negotiate with her clueless puppy dog of a fiancé?

    On the Magnum, let’s reconsider trigger warnings, shall we? Dan and journalist Jill Filipovic talk about her piece in the Atlantic “I Was Wrong About Trigger Warnings.” She and Dan talk about how content warnings are often nothing more than performative virtue signaling, and water down the times when they are genuinely necessary and useful. Agree, disagree, or agree to disagree.

    And, a woman found out that her ex from 10 years ago got married. She had been carrying a torch for him this whole time. Although her pal knew she harbored these feelings, she still sent the caller photos from his wedding, and the caller is furious with her friend for doing so. It ruined her vacation! How to move on?


    Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064



    This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.


    This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now for Veteran’s Day, get 25% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code HelixPartner25.


    Savage Lovecast Episode 877 Aug 15, 2023
    Show notes


    A woman hooked up with a seemingly nice guy. She asked him to wear a condom, and he said he did. But after he left, she couldn’t find evidence of the condom- no wrapper, nothing. Did he stealth her? Should she call him and ask?

    Ureaplasma: What’s this fresh new STI? Dan is stumped, so he brings on Dr. Ina Park, his go-to expert on sexually transmitted diseases.

    On the Magnum, Dan chats with Shallelujah the twitch streamer with a sexy, sexy voice. They talk about parlaying a great voice (and mic) into a career, pleasing the pup community and coming out as bi in the gamer world.

    And, what’s the matter with this damn cock ring?! When he was younger, it fit him like a glove. Now it’s too loose. Can steel cock rings stretch, or does Occam’s razor point to a different conclusion?


    Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064



    Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

    This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

    This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.


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