Savage Lovecast

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Savage Lovecast Episode 922 Jun 25, 2024

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Her husband of ten years is interested in learning about non-monogamy. He started attending workshops about "divine femininity" and "dark masculinity." The workshop leader seems sketchy and cultish to the caller. How can she vet this potential grifter and help her husband develop a little reasonable skepticism?

A woman and her husband have been in a poly relationship with another woman for 11 years. She is intertwined with the family and helps out with the kids. You know who also helps with the kids? The caller's mother-in-law, who lives with them. At some point will she guess who the girlfriend really is? Will the kids? Should the caller tell everyone that their "very good friend" is really their long-term partner?

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes back Mexican writer, artist and activist Leo Herrera, with some good news: Cruising is BACK, baby! He and Dan talk about how dating and hook-up apps fail gay men, and how people have lost the ability to interact IRL. His book "Analog Cruising" is out now. Learn how to do it right!

And, a woman in her 60s had a mostly emotional affair with a married man. She doesn't want to be a mistress. But he really seemed like the love of her life. Will she love again?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

Savage Lovecast Episode 921 Jun 18, 2024

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A straight woman wants to explore her bitchy side. She feels like all her edge got sanded away, and now she wants to try out the dom role. How can she find a man who wants a selfish, in-charge lover?

Meanwhile, a straight man is frustrated that his lady won't let him go down on her.

Our guest this week is Lyz Lenz, author of the NYT best-selling "This American Ex-Wife." Raised conservative Christian, Lenz found herself trapped in a joyless marriage, doing all the work, and getting gaslit like crazy. Now, she makes for a fiery, indignant, righteous interview. The first bit is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum. Highly recommended.

And, a straight couple are fornicating their way through America's beautiful national parks. But what officially counts as sex? If he goes down on her under a domestic sequoia, did they just have sex? If she rims him in full view of Mount Rainier, did they "do it?"

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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Savage Lovecast Episode 920 Jun 11, 2024

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Getting a haircut is boring! Unless. Unless your hairstylist strokes your neck, pulls your hair, talks dirty and asks if you want to fool around.

A straight man was walking home at night when a drunk man hurled anti-gay insults at him. In a moment of improvised solidarity, the caller said he WAS gay. The drunk found some friends and chased the caller off. Now the caller wonders if what he did was wrong. His gay friend said it wasn't cool to pose as gay. What will Dan think?

On the Magnum, Dan chats with Jason Roeder- former senior editor of the Onion, and author of "Griefstrike" which managed to make grief...hilarious. Now he's wading into the advice industry, with his column Bad Advice. You'll have to listen to find out if it lives up to its name. He and Dan talk about the etiquette of disclosing when you are playing the field on dating apps, whether after-care is to be expected of a friend with benefits, and a double standard in dating profile pics.

And just in time for Pride Month, a woman wonders if it's ok for her to enter gay male spaces like International Mr. Leather and Folsom. She finds gay men sexy, especially when they are all decked out. But would she be welcome?

206-302-2064 Q@Savage.Love

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Savage Lovecast Episode 919 Jun 04, 2024

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Dan takes on a couple of heavy calls this week- A woman learned that her ex-boyfriend of 8 years was convicted on child pornography charges. He will almost certainly go to prison. He was once her fiancé. Rough stuff.

Then, Dan helps a woman make the heart-breaking choice between a single or a double mastectomy.

Our guest this week is the sharp, hilarious comedian Jared Goldstein. He and Dan talk about how gay men reject long-haired homos, how straight men don't get "headaches," and definitively answer whether dreams get weirder and kinkier as we age. A little is on the Micro, the whole thing is on the Magnum.

Finally, he's dating a woman who isn't quite over her ex. And her ex is the caller's boss. And the ex is a super-hot guy who hunts caribou. He was "like a drug" to his girlfriend. How can the caller ever hope to compete?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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Savage Lovecast Episode 918 May 28, 2024

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Yikes! Her boyfriend's pre-teen son has been stealing her underwear. This very naughty lad lives with them half the time. How can she get this boundary violation out of her head?

12 long years ago, he cheated on his wife. They got through it with therapy and endless processing. While watching TV with their kids (age 10 and 13) the subject of infidelity came up on the show, and his wife appeared upset. She was angry that he didn't pause the show and tell his kids that he had cheated on their mom. How can he work with her unresolved issues?

On the Magnum, we are delighted to bring back our favorite anal surgeon, Dr. Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical Dr. Goldstein has a new book out: "Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between." His take on sexual health and prioritizing pleasure is refreshing and rare. He and Dan talk about the health challenges transwomen face, and whether you can stretch out your ass in one fateful evening.

A gay man has a bad track record with polyamory. Every time he gets together with a couple, trouble follows. Does it work for anyone? Ever?

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Savage Lovecast Episode 917 May 21, 2024

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A lesbian has befriended a married lesbian couple. She thinks they're both hot, and in various light-hearted conversations, they said they were open to group sex. But were they serious? Should the caller proposition them?

When a woman was 17, she connected with a 24 year-old man, and began a fraught relationship full of sex, drama and sneaking around. She eventually cut things off, convinced that the age difference made it exploitative. He still tries to contact her now and again. How bad was this, and how can she get him out of her head?

This weeks guest is comedian Rachel Feinstein. Her upcoming Netflix comedy special "Big Guy" is not to be missed. Now, let's talk about tea bagging. Sure, you know what it means. But who is the "tea-bagger?" The one with the mouth, or the one with the balls? Unsurprisingly, this conversation raises more questions than it answers.

These two get super-real with each other, spelling out the stories of their first sexual encounters. Dan's first-time story has a detail that even shocked Nancy...you'll just have to listen. The first 8 minutes are on the Micro, and the whole raucous thing is on the Magnum.

Finally, we all deal with grief in different ways. This poor man lost a dear friend, and consoles himself with frequent masturbation. Is this healthy? Is it ok?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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Sex & Politics #30 Micro Version May 16, 2024

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For this Sex & Politics, Dan brings back Diana Adams, lawyer and legal advocate for queer and poly communities. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit providing free legal representation for low-income LGBTQIA+ families, asylum seekers, and trans communities in NY, and national legislative advocacy for LGBTQIA+, polyamorous, and non-nuclear families. Diana is co-founder of the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Their popular TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ has been viewed worldwide.

Dan and Diana talk about the necessity to gain legal protections for poly folks, separate from the spiritual concept of matrimony. They answer a question from a man considering donating his sperm to an ex. And hear Dan try to score some free legal advice.

This is a short taste for the Micro listeners. To hear the full interview, become one of Dan's Magnum subs at Savage.Love.

Find Diana @DianaAdamsEsq

Savage Lovecast Episode 916 May 14, 2024

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Her man used to enjoy chewing tobacco, and it messed up his teeth. He has quit at her behest, but now he really needs to see a dentist. She doesn't want to shame him for his nasty mouth, but she also doesn't want to kiss him. How can she gently guide him into a dentists chair?

A trans man is having a hard time finding women to date him. He insists he's a catch, but the ladies aren't biting. Why?

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Peggy Orenstein, author of eight books including Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex. Her essay in the New York Times about the ubiquity of erotic choking among young people went viral, freaking parents out. She and Dan talk about the dangers (both physical and emotional) of choking and then move on to more pleasant subjects: Like the Madonna/whore complex! And wanting someone you cannot have.

Lastly, a gay man has a wet & messy kink. Lube wrestling? Let's go! Pie in the face? Yes please! But even though his boyfriend is game, the caller still feels shame and has a hard time asking for the thing that turns him on the most.

You know what turns us on? Your calls. Usually.

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

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Savage Lovecast Episode 915 May 07, 2024

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When you throw a sweaty, sexy party, and most of the guests have left, except for your girlfriend and her ex, and this ex offers to suck your dick, saying his current girlfriend won't mind a bit, should you take his word for it?

A woman has met a new guy and likes him a lot! And he likes her too! You know what else he likes? His sex doll. He spent $1000 on it. The caller is very squicked out and doesn't know if it's deal-breaker or not.

On the Magnum, it's a love fest between Dan Savage and our guest- TV writer Stan Zimmerman. His work as a comedy writer is seen throughout many notable TV shows and sitcoms including The Golden Girls, Gilmore Girls, Roseanne, and The Brady Bunch movies. They talk about how Stan had to be closeted throughout his time writing for The Golden Girls (!!!), the special relationship many gay boys have with their mothers and grandmothers, and the gritty, gutty works of television.

Finally, a straight man in his 70s has always had a fantasy of being weak and abused. This erotic desire ruined his marriage. Lately, it's morphed into him fantasizing about being a frail woman. Is this a common fantasy? How can he indulge it?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

Savage Lovecast Episode 914 Apr 30, 2024

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A woman's party fell apart when her good -looking friend flirted with all the men and then led them away to a club. Was this a competitive power move? What kind of friend is this?

Expiration dates! You wouldn't drink old milk. Is it equally dangerous to use lube past its time?

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Jenée Desmond-Harris from Slate's "Dear Prudence" column. They advise a woman whose boyfriend wants to see sex workers. (He likes 'em "young and firm.") And a jealous boyfriend can't handle his girlfriend's (rather reasonable) number of past lovers. As veterans in the sex-advice space Dan and Jenée have some strong words for this insecure man.

A woman is about to get debilitating shoulder surgery. She is a submissive, without a primary partner. Who will take care of her when she is in her long recovery? And how can she do kink safely?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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