Savage Lovecast

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Savage Lovecast Episode 949 Jan 07, 2025

Show notes

Everyone is feverishly preparing for The Feast of The Ass on January 14! Consequently, many of you have questions, such as "What is the proper Feast of the Ass greeting?" And "Shouldn't the official Feast of the Ass dessert be the Tunnel of Fudge?" As always, Dan has the answers.

A woman's brother just got engaged...again. This is the third time, and he has been dating his current girlfriend for a scant 6 months. What's more, the fiancé has been pestering the caller to be best friends, texting her all day long. The caller has been through this before. Is she a jerk for feeling a little skeptical about her's brother's relationship?

On the Magnum, it's the return of the Funny Dom! Our favorite Australian sadist is back to help a woman and her boyfriend concoct the perfect mix of BDSM, femme-domming and to get some dang dishes done besides.

And, a cautionary tale: when you're flying on Molly, and you coquettishly ask "What could I do to be sexier for you?" Beware! He just might answer honestly.

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, reviver of Midieval Catholic holidays, and creator of the It Gets Better Project.From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Bonus New Year's Gift: Esther Perel Jan 03, 2025

Show notes

Happy New Year!

Here's the interview we did with Esther Perel back in September. We hope you like it.

Savage Lovecast Episode 948 Dec 31, 2024

Show notes

Here's a little friendship drama to start the New Year: A woman and her pal "Jill" are going on a skiing trip in Japan with a group of people. Two of the men approached Jill to tell her they each had crushes on the caller, and asked her to broker a connection. Jill wants nothing to do with this, and the caller is bewildered. Why is Jill so angry? And how should she proceed?

A man has a 22 year-old nephew who he suspects is gay. The lad is immersed in conservative Christian culture, and if he is gay, has let no one know. Should the caller broach the subject and try to inspire him to find a version of Christianity that will accept him? Or keep his avuncular mouth shut?

On the Magnum, Dan welcomes back Tawny Lara, aka The Sober Sexpert, and the author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. She is on to talk about partying like a sorority sister without all the champagne or cocaine. And she encourages an embrace of Damp January- you know, drink a little less maybe?

And, woman has been hooking up with a man for a few months, having great sex. But he never lets her sleep over at his place, and she's never met his friends. Then he dropped the bomb that he is about to become a baby daddy. Their relationship will surely change. But should she disregard the red flags here?

Happy New Year one and all!

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Micro Bonus Holiday Gift: Ezra Klein Dec 27, 2024

Show notes

Happy holidays micro listeners!

We are releasing this interview with Ezra Klein from February of this year as a thank-you for listening.

From Dan, Nancy and the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth™ - we wish you a sweet holiday season.

Savage Lovecast Episode 947 Dec 24, 2024

Show notes

Dan Savage is bringing back a forgotten Catholic holiday. On January 14, let us all celebrate the Feast of the Ass.

A woman's beloved twin sister isn't dating, isn't getting on the apps, isn't looking for a relationship. Should the caller keep trying to set her up with great guys from work? Or leave her be?

A woman used to be a sex worker when she was younger. She has since built a new career, and loves her life. She got into BDSM, and when she told her new dom about her past, he lost his mind. He feels her sex worker history takes away his power. He demanded that she fill out a questionnaire spelling out her entire sexual history. The list goes on and on and on. Why does her past matter to him? What should she do about it?

On the Magnum, take a sexy, sexy journey back to medieval times, to hear about the origins of Christmas, St. Valentine's Day and the Feast of the Ass. Basically, the medieval church knew how to party. Those of you who are horny to hear about the counter reformation are going to GET OFF on this convo. Dr. Janega is a hoot, and she and Dan belong together.

And, lube lube lube! This caller is sick of hearing that women just need to lube up when they aren't wet enough for sex. If they aren't wet, it means their lover hasn't done the job yet. Right? Right??!!!

Right.

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project.

From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Savage Lovecast Episode 946 Dec 17, 2024

Show notes

A gay man was dating a closeted cop for 4 years. Then he found out that the cop WASN'T closeted, and WASN'T single (he has a live-in boyfriend,) but IS a big fat liar. Now the caller wants closure.

A straight man just got dumped by his girlfriend after 1 1/2 years. His crime? He followed some thirst trap accounts on Instagram. She felt "betrayed and repulsed." Now sad and bewildered, he'll get a rousing pep talk from Dan Savage.

On the Magnum, a poly woman has been told by her girlfriend that she isn't allowed to kiss her children for fear of giving them herpes. Dan brings on STI expert Dr Ina Park to dish out some herpes facts and to try to lower the fear level. They also talk about the success of the HPV vaccine and what it might mean to have someone who is hostile to vaccines in charge of Health & Human Services.

Ok folks. Put your neologism thinking caps on. We need a new term to replace "Eskimo brothers." So what's it gonna be?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders + 2 FREE Dream Pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project.

From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.

Savage Lovecast Episode 945 Dec 10, 2024

Show notes

A trans guy just can't break into gay male spaces. He feels ridiculed and rejected, and ends up sitting in a corner alone while the sweaty dance party goes on around him. He used to be confident before his transition. How can he get a little of that male swagger and bed a hot twink?

A female used to date "bad boys"- the kind of guy who turned her on sexually but made terrible partners. Now she's with a sweet man who treats her well, but the heat isn't there. Can she train him to turn her on?Can she train herself to be turned on by him?

On the Magnum, what happens when you invite chatty, blabby podcasters to your sex party? Will they kiss and tell...everyone? Dan brings on comedian Ashley Ray to talk about this, and her obsession with the ancient JonBenét Ramsey murder. The plucky comedian has studied the case intensively and her long Substack piece about the crime and its coverage roped in a curious Dan Savage. C'mon amateur sleuths! Let's crack this case already!

And, a woman with a few lovers met a new guy who introduced her to kink, and opened up a whole new erotic world for her. Then he unceremoniously ghosted her. Now, when she tries to explore this kink with others or even on her own, she breaks down sobbing. It feels like she got rejected by the kink itself. How can she take the good of what the guy gave her and leave the feeling of rejection behind?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project.

From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the mid-1800s.

Savage Lovecast Episode 944 Dec 03, 2024

Show notes

"That's so gay!" So said a 10 year-old boy and got himself punished by the teacher who overheard him. The boy's father is calling for advice on how to explain why saying "That's so gay" as a pejorative is hurtful.

A man with a big ole wiener sees his long distance girlfriend once per month. When they see each other they go at it, with a frequency and intensity that will make many of you blush. The problem? It's causing her a lot of pain. Is there a way to make love, not lacerations?

Speaking of pain, Dan brings on Leigh Cowart, science journalist and author of "Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose" They talk about masochism, how the experience of pain can be transmogrified into pleasure, how every masochist has a sadist's imagination, and finally- how to safely kick a man in the nuts. Cowart is such a superb thinker, and a delight to listen to. A little is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum.

And, in one of our all time weirdest calls, a married man with kids thinks he's having a psychic connection with someone he's met. The synchronicities are off the charts! Is he having some kind of profound spiritual flowering, or is it just garden variety mid-life crisis?

You decide.

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders + 2 FREE Dream Pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.

Savage Lovecast Episode 943 Nov 26, 2024

Show notes

A straight man confesses to lurking on Discord and masturbating to the pretty female voices he hears there. Nobody knows he is doing this (except all of us now.) Must he stop?

With a new hostile regime about to take power, it's more important than ever for queer and trans folks to get their papers in order. Our very favorite lawyer, Diana Adams from the Chosen Family Law Center, is on to talk about these issues, and to advise a married gay couple on how to find a surrogate mother in unconventional ways.

On the Magnum Dan welcomes comedian Bonnie Klopfer to talk about their shared hatred of gin. Like, they both really really hate gin. (Hey, in this day and age, whatever can bring people together is A-OK.) They also answer a question about an ex taking on the hobbies and interests of the caller after they broke up. Bonnie rules and you will love her.

And, a gay couple together for 7 years have brought in a lucky third. But the third is already becoming jealous and possessive. ("My couple! Mine!") How can they gently explain to the dude that they will need to move slowly, and might see other people?

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Savage Lovecast Episode 942 Nov 19, 2024

Show notes

We open with a somewhat disturbing call from a woman whose white boyfriend visits "wack shacks" when he travels. He hires Asian sex workers to submit to race play and degradation. She approves of him indulging his various kinks outside of their relationship, but this?

It's the classic conundrum: the caller has a big wiener and his boyfriend has a small one. A dildo is not quite a penis. What can they do?

Our guest is the fiery, foul-mouthed, anti-cheating avenger Tracy Schorn a.k.a Chump Lady. The hideous experience with her ex-husband set her on a crusade against deceit. She and Dan spar over cheating, and divorce. A rival neologist, she calls Dan's word "tolyamory" "Orwellian dipshitery." Dan has finally met his match, and the polite but spirited debate calls for a big ole bowl of popcorn. A little on the Micro, the whole thing on the Magnum. See you there.

And, a woman mulls over the rancorous end of her previous relationship, when she asked her girlfriend's family to quiet down during a noisy 3am party. Her girlfriend's brother lit into her, and an all-family brawl ended the relationship. Now, years alter, the ex wants to apologize and reconnect. Was the caller wrong to speak up at that fateful holiday gathering?

Christmas is going to be SO wack this year.

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders + 2 FREE Dream Pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.