Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

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95 Phocas Jul 14, 2018

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Phocas takes the city, and therefore the Empire. Admittedly, he has a scar down his face, and a pointy beard... but we should not judge people on their looks, this does not mean he is a bad man. The burning of people in the market-place however, that could indicate that he is a less than pleasant person... oh dear.

94 Maurice Jun 30, 2018

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Maurice a une bataille haut de colline à grimper. Il doitcombattre les Perses, les Avars, slaves, et il doit le faire avecseulement une poignée de vieux éléphants dirigées par Jeff etla souris du Conseil du Trésor. A partir de cette terriblesituation, comment vont il sortir du bourbier ?
Google translation:
Mauritius has a high battle of hill climbing. He must fight the Persians, Avars, Slavs, and it must do so with only a handful ofold elephants run by Jeff and the mouse from the Treasury. From this terrible situation, how will he get out of the mess?

93 Tiberius II Jun 02, 2018

Show notes

So the empire is at war once again with Persia, Italy is being settle y Lombards and the Avars are causing trouble. Oh, and the empror's as mad as box of frogs. But wait! who is this dazzling young man? look at that chin! those eyes! phwooor, I bet he knows how to emperor...

92 Justin II May 19, 2018

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Justin II has a lot to follow. But he has a clear plan. No more pandering to those horrible barbarians. It is time the Romans take back control! It is time to... to... what was that? was that a Bogle!? Aaarrghhh! hide! Moo! CAW CAW CAW! bibble bibble. Quick someone bar the windows! The emperor has escaped again!

91 Justinian May 05, 2018

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And so we arrive at Justinian - by far the most famous emperor of the East bar perhaps Constantine the Great. But is that fame justified? Strap yourself in for this extra long episode including battles, Vandals, Goths, Persians, the plague, riots, mega churches, massacres, law codes and a bullied Pope!

90 Justin Apr 07, 2018

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Justin is often overlooked by his more flashy nephew, but when you actually look into it, you will - oh look! Justinian is coming!

89 Anastasius Mar 24, 2018

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A boy was born with two different coloured eyes so everyone called him a rude name. Then some stuff happened and he became Emperor. There are the Isuarians, the Demes and the Orthodox church out for his blood, plus Bulgars and Persians. And he is getting on in years. How can Anastasius possibly succeed? Find out in this week's episode of Totalus Rankium!

Featuring Drunk Monks!

88 Zeno Mar 10, 2018

Show notes

It's not often a father succeeds his son - Zeno has the mighty job of ruling the East as the West crumbles and literally everyone he knows turns against him. It's not going too bad - he just needs to avoid those pesky men up their pillars.

87 Leo II Mar 03, 2018

Show notes

Surprise mini episode! Yes, we are going to a fortnightly release schedule. But Leo II is so pathetic he doesn't really count. Find out exactly why he was so useless in this episode that only exists because the intro clearly states 'Ranking ALL the emperors...'

86 Leo Feb 24, 2018

Show notes

We are back! Series 2 of Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium begins with Leo the Butcher. We have already covered his reign in the last series, but now we get to see it from his perspective. and finally find out why he was called "The Butcher".

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