Rock Your Retirement Show

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Forced Retirement: Episode 122 Forced Retirement: Episode 122 Apr 16, 2018

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Let's talk about Forced Retirement Marianne Oehser is our guest for today's podcast episode. She came on our show to discuss forced retirements and how to cope if it happens to you. One example of Forced Retirement that Marianne gave us is “Rich” one of her clients. Here's his story: Rich worked for the government and handled one of the largest and most important departments. All of a sudden, that department was eliminated. Now when this happened, it created a lot of challenges for him. Like many, he is facing a forced retirement. When Marianne and Rich started working together, it became really clear how depressed he was. He had trouble getting up in the morning and by mid-afternoon, he barely had the energy to read the paper. When Marianne talked to him, it seemed like he had lost his sense of purpose in his life. “This happens when you're not ready to retire,” Marianne said. A forced retirement can bring up a lot of emotions One of the first few emotions you might feel is anger then resentment. What Rich did after acknowledging what he was feeling is forgive the person that made it happen. Together he and Marianne worked on letting go of the resentment and pain until he was able to start on focusing on the present. They worked on building his “happiness” portfolio. Rich needed to figure what he wanted the 8 important areas in his life to look like and be like. During this process, Rich awakened his desire to write. He took some creative writing classes and thought about doing his memoir. Then he uncovered a short story he wrote in the past. He published it and now being reviewed as a script for a movie. Rich now writes screenplays and books. This man no longer tries to figure out how to get out of bed every morning. He no longer has to think about what he wants to do at 3 in the afternoon. Rich now gets out of bed with gust, vigor, and enthusiasm and has lots of things going on. He was able to tap back into his sense of purpose. 8 Areas of Happiness * Self-development – Continuing to grow and understand that you can be excited about wherever you are in this in your life and embracing what is now and continuing to be a better person as a result of the things that you choose. * Health and Well-being – If you don't have your health, nothing else matters. * Primary Relationship – Relationships are central to who we are as human beings. Having a strong primary relationship is important. Examples, marriage relationship, long-term life partner relationship, strong friend relationship, family relationship. * Social Networks – As we move further along in our lives, our social connections become more and more important. When you move out of retirement, it may change. Not the same people we used to work with. It's all about building relationships. building new relationships. * Spirituality and Religion – As we progress in our life, we become aware of the fact that at some point, our physical body isn't gonna work anymore. * Leisure – About being balanced. * Community – What are you doing for the people around you? How are you giving back * Vocation or Profession – more of us are either having to work or choosing to work How does all of this fit into the balance? How do these 8 work together? Marianne says that we need to have balance so at the end of the day you can say that this is the life that you will be living. You may reach Marianne Oehser through her website Retire and be Happy or via email: Marianne@RetireAndBeHappy.com She is a retirement consultant, a Certified Retirement Coach,

How Seasonal Jobs can help you Rock your Retirement: Ep. 121 Kelcy Fowler and Matt Moore talk to the Rock Your Retirement show about how seasonal jobs can help you with retirement lifestyle. Listen to today's episode of the Rock Your Retirement Show Apr 09, 2018

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How can Seasonal Jobs help you Rock your Retirement? Kelcy Fowler and Matt Moore are the new owners of CoolWorks.com. What is CoolWorks? CoolWorks has been a leader in connecting people seeking meaningful and exciting work with the employers who are looking for their enthusiasm. energy, and knowledge. They believe that you can and should love your job, and they want to help make that happen! They post job opportunities in great places– everything from national parks to ski resorts to retreat centers. and everything in between. Their journal profiles the exciting stories from CoolWorkers to inspire you to take that next step. Whether you are still discovering your passion, need a seasonal career, or just feel the call to change paths, they have everything you need to help you find your next great adventure. Let's meet the owners: Kelcy is considered to be the Magic Wand Wielder, helping others pursue their own “grand” adventure. And Matt calls himself the Employer Wingman and Captain of Contracts. He’s got a true passion for Great Places and inspiring people from all walks to take the first step in finding their different path. They have a resources section on their website called “Older and Bolder” which I love! The motto? “You’re more than a retiree, you’re Older and Bolder! You’ve got energy and dreams, and there are tons of opportunities out there for you.” How does CoolWorks (seasonal jobs) work? CoolWorks is a website where thousands of different employers across the country post their seasonal (meaning temporary jobs) and year-round job opportunities in great places. CoolWorks is completely free for the job seeker to browse and apply for jobs, you don't even need to sign up! They also provide job seeker accounts to save searches and favorite employers and a great collection of Older and Bolder Resources. If you are traveling and will be staying there for a while (or ever want a reason to travel somewhere wonderful and stay for a season) you can check their website and look for seasonal jobs available in the state that you're interested in. What a cool way to earn money, right? You get to enjoy the place where you are staying and at the same time, you're earning money. Win-win! Why would someone want to go work if I am retired and don’t really need the money? * A lot of retired people are passionate about having new experiences and meeting new people. It's an opportunity to fill up your season with incredibly rewarding and exciting experiences and meeting lots of friends and creating lots of great relationships. What skills do you need? * There are a lot of skill sets. It differs from employers but one of the most common that they are looking for in an employee is friendliness. If you are friendly or a people person, you have a higher chance of getting hired. If you aren't a people person, they have jobs for you too! How do I apply? * All you have to do is visit their website, https://coolworks.com/, look for a job that you are interested in, and contact them! It's that easy. If adventure, travel, and experiencing new places and meeting new people is anything that appeals to you, consider seasonal jobs and visit us at coolworks.com and give it a try. We believe we change lives one seasonal job at a time. What are the advantages of having seasonal jobs: * Flexible scheduling with no long-term commitment * Learn something new

What is a house sitting service?: Episode 120 Apr 02, 2018

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Have you ever heard of House Sitting? My husband and I have a running argument about traveling. I want to travel more. He's concerned about the cost of getting care for our two rescue dogs, Izzy and Winky, and my Moluccan cockatoo Mr. Grant. And it's not just the cost. It's the upheaval that the animals have to go through when we leave. So when I found out about these house sitting websites that are out there, I HAD to dig deeper and learn more. What is a House Sitting service? House sitting is the practice whereby a person leaving their house for a period of time entrusts it to one or more “house-sitters”, who by a mutual agreement are entitled to live or stay there temporarily. Either in paid positions or rent-free, in exchange for assuming any combination of responsibilities, such as taking care of the homeowner's pets, performing general maintenance (including pools, lawns, air-conditioning systems etc.), keeping trespassers off the property, readdressing the mail, and in general, making sure that everything runs smoothly just as if the owner was at home. It is reasonably assumed that pet-care is typically a paid service, although some “house sitters” may choose to include this as part of their agreement at no cost or a nominal fee. [1] I found two people who use house sitting services regularly The first person I spoke with was Jo Ann Schneider or Josie for short. Josie and her husband have been all over the world! They have been able to travel to places that others only dream about because of the costs. She and her husband are retired, and they receive Social Security among their other ongoing payments. But for most people on a fixed budget, traveling around the world might not be an option. How did they do it? They used house sitting matching services. Josie and her husband had been staying in bed and breakfasts when they found out about house sitting. “In 2008, we were in Australia and we were staying in bed and breakfasts. I had a book of bed and breakfasts in Australia, and we would look in the book to find a place to stay in a town we were headed towards. In Alice Springs, in the red center of Australia, we booked a bed and breakfast, and we got there and our hostess said, “I'm not the homeowner here. I don't own this place. I'm just house-sitting for them. We looked at each other and looked at her, and we were very confused. And she explained how you meet up with home owners on websites and that you can go and stay in someone else's home while they're on vacation, and it's an exchange that no money changes hands. It's free to the traveler, and the home owner gets peace of mind knowing that their home and often their pets are looked after.” Their first house sitting experience was for a young couple in Copenhagen and they stayed in their home for 6 weeks while the couple traveled. However, when I interviewed Josie, they had just returned from an 8 month, around the world, house sitting experience!. They started in Helsinki, worked their way down through Scandinavia, UK, seven countries in Europe, Singapore and Australia, and then back to the US where they live. I asked Josie how she was able to do this and get the trip scheduled in advance “We kept adding on. It's logistically impossible to have them all scheduled or committed to beforehand. In an eight-month time period, the people eight months out were not posting their need for house sitters yet. So yes, we had to do it as we went along.” Not only does the house sitter get to stay for free, but you get to have amazing experiences “They're all unique and very, very different from staying in a hotel in that you have neighbors, and the homeowners often introduce us to the neighbors.

Creating your own adventure in retirement: Ep. 119 Mar 26, 2018

Show notes

Have you thought about creating your own Adventure in Retirement? This podcast episode falls under the 2nd pillar, Significant Other (Be adventurous with your spouse), in the Six Pillars of Retirement. Jim Palmer is a marketing and business building expert and in-demand coach. He is the founder of the Dream Biz Academy and Dream Business Coaching and Mastermind Program. Jim is the host of Newsletter Guru TV, the hit weekly Web TV show watched by thousands of entrepreneurs and small business owners and he is also the host Stick Like Glue Radio, a weekly podcast based on Jim’s unique brand of smart marketing and business building strategies. Jim started thinking about and living his retirement lifestyle before retirement age. Instead of waiting for his retirement, he is living out a dream now while he continues to work. He and his wife sold their house and put the contents in storage. They are currently living on their boat, which is named Floating Home and traveling up and down the east coast. They are enjoying a more simple life. He has created a dream business where he works with clients only 3 days a week and travels the rest of the time. He hopes to continue working for many years, beyond typical retirement age and says it will be possible because he hasn’t worn himself out with work that is unfulfilling. It's time for a big adventure in retirement! It was Jim's wife's idea to live on a boat but it's Jim who is the “boat guy” as he grew up on boats. When Jim married his wife, they wanted to have their own boat. However, between work, raising four children, and maintaining a home they never had the chance to buy one. Once their children got married and moved on, and Jim's wife Stephanie said she is done with her job, suddenly they were no longer “landlocked.” They spent a few years trying to decide what they would do and where they would live, They did get a small boat which was big enough to sleep on but not that big. Eventually, his wife suggested they live on a boat. Jim's initial thought was “we're gonna need a bigger boat” Then their adventure in retirement began. They sold their house, found a bigger boat, and moved on April 15th, 2017. They initially agreed to an an18-month plan. First, they went to New England to see their daughter and grandkids. Then they went to Chesapeake Bay which is their home port, and they are going to go to Florida for their first winter. So, at the time of this interview, they were almost a year into their adventure in retirement. How is it? They love it so much! Jim feels living on a boat is like an everyday vacation. It's very relaxing and it is just a simple life. They are now talking about a 5-year plan to continue their retirement adventure on their boat. What is it like living on a boat? I personally, know very little about boats and tend to think of it as somewhat similar to living in an RV. Jim and Stephanie's boat is 50 feet long and 14.5ft wide. It has 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. It's a motor yacht with almost 1000 horsepowers. Jim said they don't want to go on a camping in the waters, they want to feel comfortable. They wanted to have separate space if they need it so it isn't too cramped. We talked about all of the amenities in Jim's boat and the maintenance and repair that goes along with it. It is quite fascinating! An interesting fact is you don't have to have your captain's license. The fact that you own a boat and can drive it means you are a captain. Both he and his wife have taken courses through the Coast Guard. Jim's job is to drive the boat and do maintenance on the boat. His wife's job primarily is the navigator.

A Happy Relationship with your spouse after retirement Mar 19, 2018

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How to have a happy relationship with your spouse after retirement This podcast episode falls under Significant Other in the Six Pillars of Retirement. And today, our guest is Nora Hall, a dedicated problem solver, set out to find solutions to the struggles she and her husband encountered after he retired. Numerous interviews with retirees revealed that most couples experience similar stress during their adjustment period in retirement. Nora shares their stories and offers proven solutions and inspiration for all retired couples, to help them have a happy relationship and stay happily married. Prior to writing full time, Nora worked as a teacher, arts administrator, fundraiser, and writing consultant. Nora started writing her book and blog because when her husband retired, they didn't expect the change in their relationship. They didn't really anticipate anything about retirement but soon learned they weren't having fun and enjoying it. Nora started to wonder what was going on and decided she needed to find a resolution. In her research, Nora discovered that there were some common circumstances that almost every couple experiences when they initiate their retirement. * Many times husbands tend to become angry initially during retirement. Their identity is wrapped up in their careers and when they retire they feel they are losing their identity * Now that the husband is retired, he doesn't know what to do with himself * The change of being together all the time put a strain on relationships Another common problem Nora discovered in her interviews and in her own relationship, is that when their husbands are retired there are suddenly always there. Women tend to have a lot of structure in their day to day activities. Out of boredom, the husbands will check on them to see what they are doing throughout the day. Women tend to perceive this as a sort of “butting in” if you will. In reality, the husbands are trying to be helpful and the women find it annoying. It’s so important to be sensitive to one another’s needs Nora tells us a story about when her husband retired and she was still working as a freelance writer at home. She didn't have a door in her office and her husband would come in and start talking to her and distracting her. Her husband didn't understand why Nora would get angry and Nora couldn't understand why he didn't realize that she was busy. She discovered they weren't being sensitive to each other's feelings. So what was the solution to this problem? Their grandchildren solved the issue. They put a sign on the pantry door that lead to Nora's office that said: “Do Not Enter”. When she didn't want to be disturbed she would open the pantry door with the sign on it. Having a happy relationship with your spouse after retirement might be difficult because of the adjustments you both have to make. Nora also talked about the 5 types of husband: * Bossy Husband – These are husbands who are in a managerial position (managers, directors, CEO, etc.). They are used to being the boss so when they come home it's natural for them to expect that they are the boss. * Always There Husband – His days are spent in his workplace then suddenly, he's at home all the time. This type of husband doesn't typically have many outside friends to go to lunch with or do things with. * Dependent Husband – Not the type of always-there-husband but really doesn't know how to fill his time throughout the day. For example, he wants to go out every Friday but he expects his wife to plan the trip. * Angry Husband – Their identity is wrapped up in their work. There is more anger in men. These husbands don't know what to do with themselves after retirement.

Finding Meaning and Purpose in Retirement: Episode 117 Mar 12, 2018

Show notes

How to Find Meaning and Purpose in Retirement? Fritz Gilbert is the Founder of The Retirement Manifesto, a personal finance blog focused on helping People Achieve A Great Retirement. Fritz will be retiring in the summer of 2018 at the age of 55, after 3 decades in Corporate America (most recently as a Commodity Trader). He and his wife live in a cabin in the Appalachian Mountains of North Georgia, just a few miles from the start of the Appalachian Trail. They have a 23-year-old daughter who was married last summer and recently moved to Seattle. After retirement, Fritz and his wife plan on traveling extensively with their 5th Wheel RV, as well as working with local charities and “giving back” to their community. They are active in a dog rescue charity and have 4 rescue dogs who will be accompanying them during their travels. All though Fritz does have a personal finance blog, he thinks all of the other things to think about during retirement are even more important than finances. He calls it the softer side of retirement. Fritz will be officially retiring June 8th of 2018 and both him and his wife are excited. How Fritz and his wife are preparing for his retirement? They are having discussions on how will they live their life after Fritz' retires and how they will find purpose in retirement. They come up with some things that both of them needed to decide. Here are some examples: * Develop an interest/hobby: * What are we going to do individually? * Fritz's wife started to grow an interest in pottery. Turns out she is a good potter. Fritz will join a group that swims 3 times a week. * What are we going to do together? * They put up a jar with a notepad next to it where each of them put in activities once a week so that they have 2 years worth of weekly activities. They call it their “Wednesday jar”. What comes out of the jar, they do together every Wednesday. I think the Wednesday jar is a great idea! * Create a timeline together * As his retirement approaches, they have things planned out like healthcare, they also bought an RV because they wanted to explore new places and spend some time traveling. They have also built a list of each state and things they would like to see or do in each state. * Build relationships * Because they moved into a new area where they don't know anyone, one of the things that they wanted to do is build relationships. They wanted to build networks with their neighbors by, one example, walking their dogs. They met a few people who also walk their dogs. Another way for them to meet new people is through their church. Be receptive to doing something that gives you passion and purpose in retirement, but don't obligate yourself to do something until you've settled into your new lifestyle. What are some ideas you have to prepare for and to find purpose in retirement? Share your thoughts and ideas below in the comments Contact information for Fritz: Website- http://www.theretirementmanifesto.com/ Websites mentioned in the interview (Seasonal employment) CoolWorks or Workamper Rotary Club Image already added

Six Pillars of Retirement Lifestyle: Episode 116 Six Pillars of Retirement Lifestyle Mar 05, 2018

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Six Pillars of Retirement Lifestyle I've been doing the Rock Your Retirement show since April 2016. I knew when I started the show that I wanted it to be about Retirement Lifestyle. I've been thinking about retirement myself and wanted to bring my listeners along my journey by interviewing people who have something to say that relates to this retirement lifestyle or Baby Boomer Lifestyle topic. My husband is 20 years older than myself, so of course, we are in different stages of life. But I wanted to be able to spend more time sharing experiences now, while he's still able to enjoy them. I was scared. What would I do with myself? I'm only 52 as I write this, and I am used to the hustle and bustle of working. And honestly, I don't have to work. The thing is, I enjoy it. I've been self-employed for the majority of my life, and enjoy the structure of working. I don't enjoy a “boss” telling me what to do. In fact, a two year period I tried leaving my business and working for someone else. I failed miserably. The good news is that I hadn't left my business completely, and when I came back it was there, along with my clients who hadn't left in my absence. Of course, I was never really 100% gone. Now I'm busy because although I did semi-retire from that business, giving up my license to sell securities, I still have about 30 beloved clients that I work with. I don't know if I'll ever give that up. As long as those clients want to work with me, I'll continue holding their hands through their financial retirement. But I wasn't satisfied with just helping those 30, although I didn't want to take on any more clients in that industry. So I started a new project. That project was supposed to just keep me busy between October and December of every year, but it's really turned into more of a full-time job. I DO enjoy it. But I wish I could afford more help so that it didn't feel like a job to me. It doesn't pay as well as my old business because it's new. So why do I do it? That's a good question. We don't need the money. I've done plan after plan for my husband and I, and the numbers always work out the same. We are fine. Even when the stock market drops… we are still fine. I think the reason why I keep doing it is that it fills a need in me, so as long as it does this, I'll keep going. Occasionally I think about just saying, “That's it, I'm done!” and just put my business on autopilot and walk away. But it's usually after a particularly difficult situation that was brought on by the client. I don't get many of them because I seem to attract really great clients, but every now and then, someone enters my life that I'd rather not deal with. Often I refer them to work with someone else, but sometimes it takes a while for them to leave, and they cause stress for my staff and me. So what is it? I've been thinking of this over time. I think it's because there are six pillars of retirement lifestyle, baby boomer lifestyle really, and work for me is one of those pillars. Sometimes we have a “pillar” that might be out of whack, and for me, I think it's work. My work pillar has been taking up more space, and I'd like to work on the other five pillars. What are the Six Pillars of Retirement Lifestyle? * Spiritual Whether you consider yourself an atheist, a Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or whatever, I believe that you have a spirit. A soul. Something that makes you different from the person sitting next to you. There is an essence that is you. You are connected to others through this essence. I happen to believe in God and Jesus and every day I try to live in a way that is congruent to the way I believe. When we act differently from what we say we believe, we run into trouble.

Les and Kathe’s AirBNB Experience (Hotel Alternative): Ep 115 Feb 26, 2018

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Les and Kathe talk about their AirBNB Experience! Why did they use AirBNB* and why is it a great hotel alternative? Les' brother invited us to watch his team play in the Rose Bowl. It was last minute. Right after his time won. We said yes, and immediately started looking for a hotel room. But, oh no…all of the hotels were fully booked. EVERYTHING was sold out. The nearest available hotel was in Los Angeles, which was WAY to far! We had to find a hotel alternative if we wanted to see our family. As a lark, I started checking AirBNB as a hotel alternative. I was really nervous because it was our first time in using this service. We weren't sure what to expect. Would it be dirty? Would the owners be lurking around? What kind of people would let us stay in their spare bedroom? And…Les is VERY private. The first few places I found on the website were whole apartments. Those looked great! The bad news was that they were $800. That's right… $800 for one night. Ouch! A bit pricey for us. Finally, after a lot of searching, we decided that it would be OK to stay in someone's spare bedroom. We found a room in someone's house. It looked cute, like maybe it was built in the 1940s. And just like the house, the owner seemed cute too. She looked very artsy. But to be honest, it was the fact that she played the harp that sealed the deal for me. So I submitted my request. We had a great online conversation about harps and she wanted to know who I knew that played the harp. It's funny that I know two people! Our First Stay: We drove to Pasadena and found her house. We had made arrangements to park in her driveway so we wouldn't get a ticket. That was another way we saved money…no parking fees! A hotel would have charged us to park on premise. Once there, we “checked in”. She wasn't home, but had a combination lock on the back door. After entering the home, we followed the signs to our room. Painless. Outside her house was a very cute “library”. Another thing we never would have seen if we stayed in a hotel that weekend. The first thing we saw inside the room was a small mini-fridge. two wine glasses and a bottle of wine sat on top of the fridge. Fresh flowers brightened up the corner of the room. We took a peek inside our mini-fridge and we found almond milk, coconut water, eggs, and blueberries for our breakfast. Our initial observation was that we felt very welcomed and attended to, just like you would feel at your grandma's house! This was a very different experience from a hotel. We met her later that day and she gave us some tips on the Rose Bowl. We were so glad that she allowed us to stay in her home for a reasonable fee (I think it was around $200 a night. Still pricey, but not $800!) So now that you know that we were adventurous enough to stay in someone's bedroom, let's talk about the service that allowed us to go that. What is AirBNB? AirBNB* is an American company which operates an online marketplace and hospitality service for people to lease or rent short-term lodging including holiday cottages, apartments, home stays, hostel beds, or hotel rooms, to participate in or facilitate experiences related to tourism such as walking tours, and to make reservations at restaurants. The company does not own any real estate or conduct any tours; it acts as a broker. They receive a percentage of the cost of each stay. Like all modern sharing services services, AirBNB* is an example of person to person sharing. This company has over 4 million listings in 65,000 cities and 191 countries and has helped with ...

Be YOU anytime, all the time: Episode 114 Feb 19, 2018

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Be YOU anytime, all the time! Lori has worn many hats from being a kindergarten teacher where we know “you really learn all there is to know”, right? to becoming a Licensed Clinical Social Worker LCSW. At the age of 48, she decided to get a Master’s degree and opened a private practice. Also, during that time, she was also involved with Hospice as Bereavement Director for 10 years. As coaching came into prominence, she completed a year-long coaching program and became a coach with the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara specializing in Adult Self- Renewal and Developmental Growth. You might call her a life-long learner – she is even a laughter yoga instructor, so she has a broad range of skills to choose from to help people make changes and reinvent themselves. Let's take a look at Lori's journey: Lori's mother left their dad when Lori was just 3 weeks old. To support her and her brothers, Lori's mother enrolled in a beauty school while they stay with relatives. Lori was 3 years old when her mom opened a beauty shop in their house. Being a toddler, Lori just wants to be by her mom's side and see all the actions in the beauty shop but her mom kept “shushing” her to her room and she doesn't understand why. That made a huge impact on Lori. She felt like she's a bother, felt lonely and alone. Lori feels she's unwanted. She learned perseverance from her mother so she decided that she wanted to go to college. Not a lot of women do that during those times. Lori went to their family doctor and asked him if he could loan her money for college. The doctor agreed but Lori's mother didn't know what she did. When her mother found out she was going to college, her mother said it's not a good idea because she might lose her religion. Lori took up Psychology because she knew that's what she needed to help herself understand things. It's her path to understanding herself. Be you all the time! “To be true to yourself means to act in accordance with who you are and what you believe. If you know and love yourself you will find it effortless to be true to yourself and to be YOU all the time. Just as you cannot love anyone else until you love yourself, you cannot be true to anyone else until you are true to yourself. Begin by not being afraid to be who you are! As difficult as it may seem at first, have the courage to accept yourself as you really are, not as someone else thinks you should be. Do not take action or pretend to be someone else for the sake of gaining acceptance.” By Z. Hereford Redesign your life: * Ask yourself what events or characters show up – review of your life. * What is their impact? * What beliefs or habits stop you from doing what you want to do? You may contact Lori via her website: www.loricassidy.com or e-mail: loricassidy1@gmail.com Book mentioned in the podcast: Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Conner This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com Image already added

Let’s talk about death: Episode 113 Feb 12, 2018

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Let's talk about death. Jonathan Braddock is our guest for today and he is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, and the founder and CEO of My Life and Wishes, an education and digital planning platform with a mission to help at least one million families become “thoughtfully prepared” for the inevitable, their own death. Jon is the author of “Advisor or Vendor”, “Retire Erase”, the “My Life and Wishes Organization”, and, his most recent release, “Click Here When I Die”, is an Amazon Best Seller. Why is planning for our death important? Leaving your family via your death is already hard for them, planning your wake and burial will be much harder for them. Leaving them via your death with a Will help them know what you want. They will know if you want to be cremated, in-ground burial, etc. Helping them know what you want or have planned for them is a really big thing because it lessens the hardship that they will face after your death. For Jon's family, it took them 10 months to finally finish all the paperwork left for his father-in-law. They found a bank account where the bank's name is not familiar to them. Imagine the stressful phone calls they had to make to locate the bank. It will be much easier if you prepare everything like your bank accounts, social media passwords, ATM passwords, your will, insurance policies, and many more. Jon shares a story about someone he knows where he's really guilty that he didn't have her mother cremated when that's what she really wants but he didn't know that because she didn't tell him. What are the 5 stages of grief when there's a death? * Denial – this is the first of the five stages of grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible. As you accept the reality of the loss and start to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. You are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade. * Anger – a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love. * Bargaining – Before a loss, it seems like you will do anything if only your loved one would be spared. “Please God, ” you bargain, “I will never be angry at my wife again if you’ll just let her live.” After a loss, bargaining may take the form of a temporary truce. “What if I devote the rest of my life to helping others. Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream?” We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements. * Depression – After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present. Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever. It’s important to understand that this depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. If grief is a process of healing, then depression is one of the many necessary steps along the way. * Acceptance – this is often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “OK” with what has happened.

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