Pure Desire Podcast

Latest Episodes:

194 - Tools For Betrayal: Three Circles Mar 23, 2021

Show notes

A common tool on the recovery journey is the Relapse Prevention Tool (also known as the Three Circles). This tool helps with what the name suggests: relapse prevention. So, why would someone experiencing betrayal trauma use this tool? Today, we explore how this tool can help betrayed spouses.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

3 CIRCLES TOOL

FASTER SCALE TOOL

BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR WOMEN)

HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR MEN)

PURE DESIRE COUNSELING

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193 - Tools For Betrayal: Recovery Action Plan Mar 16, 2021

Show notes

When sexual addiction enters our marriage, it often feels as if it came out of nowhere. Betrayal trauma hits us like a high-speed train, laying us flat. But do we need to stay flat on the ground? We don’t believe so. We can start to get back up with tools like the Recovery Action Plan. Today, we talk about how this tool helps create safety and puts a process in place to establish boundaries and consequences to bring about restoration in relationships.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN TOOL (BETRAYED SPOUSE)

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN TOOL (STRUGGLING SPOUSE)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR WOMEN)

HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR MEN)

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (PODCAST)

PURE DESIRE COUNSELING

FULL DISCLOSURE (PODCAST)

FULL DISCLOSURE EVALUATION

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Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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192 - Tools For Betrayal: Commitment To Change & Double Bind Mar 09, 2021

Show notes

How does a weekly commitment to change help us heal from betrayal trauma? It helps us face our double-binds (rock-and-hard-place). Today, we explore how a Commitment to Change and addressing our double-binds brings healing for betrayal trauma.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

COMMITMENT TO CHANGE (TOOL)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT

BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS

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191 - Tools For Betrayal: FASTER Scale Mar 02, 2021

Show notes

Betrayal trauma is very real. But healing from it isn't always clear. Self-awareness is one of the biggest steps to beginning to heal from betrayal. This week, we talk about how betrayed spouses/individuals can use the FASTER Scale (awareness tool) to bring healing into their lives.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

FASTER SCALE (TOOL)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT

BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS

ONE-SIDED HEALING (PODCAST)

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190 - Stories Of Healing: Joe McCarthy Feb 23, 2021

Show notes

Joe McCarthy is a successful restaurant owner, leads Pure Desire groups, and is incredibly passionate about helping men break free of addiction and shame. But it wasn't always that way. Alcoholism and a pornography addiction plagued Joe for a large portion of his life. Starting in AA, Joe found that healing was possible. We talk to Joe about his powerful story of breaking free of sexual brokenness and how he is now leading others into the freedom they most desire.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

MELTZ EXTREME GRILLED CHEESE (JOE’S BUSINESS)

REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS

CELEBRATE RECOVERY

PURE DESIRE GROUPS

LAPSE VS. RELAPSE (PODCAST EPISODE)

FASTER SCALE (TOOL)

PASTORAL SEX ADDICTION PROFESSIONAL CERTIFICATION (IITAP)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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189 - Domestic Abuse Feb 16, 2021

Show notes

Domestic abuse is not talked about enough. Abusive patterns can exist for years and even decades before we realize it’s actually abuse. These situations definitely play out in the realm of sexual addiction and brokenness. Today, we talk about how to identify domestic abuse, how to create a space to talk about it, and what we can do about it.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT

BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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188 - Same-Sex Attraction w/ John Fort Feb 09, 2021

Show notes

What does recovery look like if we are attracted to the same sex? Is it something we can heal from? Does it ever go away? What if our spouse is attracted to the same sex? We discuss these questions with John Fort, Director of Training for Be Broken Ministries, as he shares his story of same-sex attraction and addiction.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

HONEST TALK: A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX (JOHN’S BOOK)

BE BROKEN MINISTRIES

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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187 - Overcoming Brokenness w/ Paul Young Feb 02, 2021

Show notes

Healing brokenness requires facing brokenness. Paul Young is known as a #1 New York Times bestselling author, but people might not know that trauma and abuse entered Paul’s life at a very early age. Trauma then ran up against addiction, Christian paradigms, and fear of exposure. On today’s episode, Paul shares his story of brokenness and what it took to face the damage his brokenness caused.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

THE PASTOR: A CRISIS (PAUL’S NEW BOOK)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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186 - God & The LGBT Community w/ Janet Boynes Jan 26, 2021

Show notes

Historically, the church struggles on how to best minister to the LGBT community. Our guest today, Janet Boynes, knows this first hand. After living as a lesbian for over a decade, God called Janet out of her lifestyle and into ministry. On today's episode, Janet helps us hear God's heart for our LGBT brothers and sisters and how churches can come alongside and love on them.

RESOURCES

FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE)

CALLED OUT INTERNATIONAL (JANET’S MINISTRY)

GOD & SEXUALITY: TRUTH & RELEVANCE WITHOUT COMPROMISE (JANET’S BOOK)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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185 - What If My Betrayed Spouse Doesn't Want Healing? Jan 19, 2021

Show notes

For a marriage to truly heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, both spouses need healing. We refer to it as a "family systems issue." But what if our betrayed spouse doesn't want to pursue healing? Should we continue on our own journey? Can we help them? Should we even try to? We talk about this very difficult and very common situation on today's episode.