Positively Sex! with Lila

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Latest Episodes:

13. What is orgasm, anyway? Jan 20, 2023

Hello darlings! This episode is all about The Big O! Climax! Orgasm! Coming! (Or Cumming!) Yes! Yes! Yes!

Many of us crave it. Fantasize about it. Jump through hoops to achieve it. But what, exactly, is it? And perhaps more importantly, how do we experience it?

For this episode, I took to a sidewalk in San Francisco, a festival in Miami, the HoliGay market in Austin, Texas, my own bedroom, and the tables outside the Standard Hotel in New York City… and spoke with a sex tech expert, a kink activist, a porn creator, a sex party host, a somatics coach, festival-goers, and strangers on the street with opinions, to explore this one crucial question:

What is orgasm, anyway?

Positively will return! January 19th 2023! Jan 06, 2023

Hello darlings! Positively Sex! is on hiatus for two weeks, & here are three ways you can keep engaging, with pleasure! Coming (and coming) back January 19th. MWAH!

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Stop Dating Immediately! (until you figure this out) Dec 31, 2022

Do you know your relationship orientation?

Relationship scientist, sex researcher, & NYU professor Dr. Zhana Vrangalova shares some controversial new research on gender identity, discusses sexual orientation, bisexuality, and the third category, & lays out the 5 relationship styles for us.

Knowing your relationship orientation will change your romantic & sexual life forever. I think you’re ready!

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The State of Sex Address! [Winter 2022] Dec 23, 2022

The State of Sex Address is a glance around the world, around the U.S., around my community, and inside myself.Taking stock of what I witness, hear, and feel from the media, pop culture, the government, my community, my friends, & me, I address the best sex of my life, reality TV dating, sex ed on social media, abortion rights, ClubQ, & the death of Jina Mahsa Amini and the revolt of women in Iran.Just like the State of the Union, the State of Sex… is always changing. I plan to Address Sex every season (winter, spring, summer, fall) beginning with this, our Winter of 2022.

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HOW TO OVERCOME SEXUAL SHAME! Dec 16, 2022

In this episode, Sexuality Coach Hannah Deindorfer shares something that might change your mind about shame (kink, anyone?), a method of investigating shame with curiosity, and, ultimately, a path to transmuting sexual shame… if that’s what we want to do!

Sex is about relationships. To ourselves, to our lovers, to our partners, and, far too often, to the voices in our heads telling us that what we desire is somehow wrong. That’s programming. And we can reprogram! We can upgrade! Hannah shows us how. And that is, indeed, Positively Sex!

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Sex in... INDONESIA! Dec 09, 2022

This week, Indonesia banned sex before marriage. When the new laws go into effect, anyone caught can be jailed — up to a year for sex, 6 months for living together. Including foreigners. The new criminal code also makes it illegal to: renounce religion. Speak out against the state. Or speak ill of the President. Oh, or get an abortion.

Through interviews with four Indonesians hailing from three different islands, this episode explores the sexual landscape of Indonesia, including the consequences of a complete lack of sex ed — rampant HIV, a high rate of teen pregnancies, and a hostile environment for queer people.

Sex in… Indonesia highlights the recent case of two Peruvian trans men (a Harvard grad student & his husband) who were honeymooning in Bali and detained by authorities. Rodrigo died in custody. His husband Sebastian, eventually released, made a statement about the torture he endured.

To conclude with some hope, PS! points to resources for sex education in Bahasa, a clinic for STI testing on Bali, and the Queer Indonesian Archive.

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Objectify me (sometimes): a hot! gender-affirming! sex story! Dec 01, 2022

Colin-Alexa (Callie for short) shares the story of their first time going to a sex club solo, getting cruised by a couple, and being a unicorn for the night: the object of desire.Woven through the telling and our discussion are nuanced, and often surprising, revelations about sex & gender, desire & fetishization, how objectification can feel good (in the right context), femininity & exhibitionism, & the deep vulnerability of penetration.As well as a few hot tips about dressing up your package, deep-throating, and rebranding the Walk of Shame! That is Positively Sex!

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How to GET WHAT YOU WANT (IN BED!) Nov 28, 2022

Marcia B., co-founder of Cuddle Party, and Lila discuss desires & fantasies, offers & requests, no’s & negotiations, the difference between boundaries & limits, the crucial question, “Who is this for?” & what makes asking for what you really, really want so. Damn. Vulnerable.

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THE HOTTEST THING A MAN CAN DO FOR A WOMAN Nov 17, 2022

In this episode, I talk to three heterosexual men, about the hottest thing a man can do for a woman. When I suggest to a friend of mine that she go out with a man, and tell her that he has this, that friend goes “Oooooooo.”

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It's Hard Out Here for a Slut! {Hot Take Roundtable} Nov 10, 2022

Hot Takes:

Straight men are confused right now.
Nipples are nipples. WTF Instagram?!
About choking tho.
BREAKING NEWS!

Women can have strong libidos!

Positively Sex! began as a live, interactive audio show on the social audio app Clubhouse. During our 12 episodes, my Mod Squad (leaders in a Clubhouse room are called Moderators) and I gathered together with our smart, curious, courageous community to break the taboo, and freely discuss all kinds of tender, titillating, & timely topics.

We did this across the country - and the world - from one another. Chi in Seattle, Annie & Gina in New York, Samia in Colorado, & Talia and I in Bali.

Here, recorded for the very first time in person, the majority of the PS! Mod Squad discusses: messages given to heterosexual men, Dominant / submissive dynamics, nipples deemed female, and being sexually-adventurous women! Meow!

PS! There’s more where this came from, bb! You can join us LIVE ON CLUBHOUSE for a little reunion kiki, on Thursday nights at 9pm Eastern / 6pm Pacific. Join the Positively Sex! HOUSE on Clubhouse!

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Kiss & Tell: SEXUAL DEBUTS! Nov 04, 2022

To quote the Sex Educator Marcia B.: “There are so many cherries to be popped!”

What if we stopped calling it “losing my virginity”? What, actually, did we lose? And where, in fact, would it have gone?

Virginity is a thing of made-up importance instituted in an attempt to sell daughters into marriage for more land, or more cows. The only time someone actually loses their virginity is when it is taken from them against their will.

Let’s start calling it our sexual debut. Better yet, let’s start telling tales of our sexual debuts, plural! There are so many debuts to be had! Your solo sex debut. Your threesome debut. Your voyeur debut. Your kinky role play debut!

A client of mine reports having more debuts in his 60s than he did in his 20s – we can have so much to look forward to!

In this episode, we will hear the tales of three juicy (some of them, literally) sexual debuts that don’t require a penis entering an orifice!

PS! Meow meow meow!

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Sex, but make it self-worth! Oct 28, 2022

My dear listener… Welcome to my heart. I am more unvarnished than I have possibly ever been in this conversation, unexpectedly, with a beautiful stranger, who is now a beautiful friend. Chris Thompson also known as @supdaily is an Influencer worthy of the name.

Our unexpectedly deep conversation was recorded, of all places, at Podcast Movement 2022, at the iHeart Radio booth, fueled by the finest cold brew and the excitement of meeting a new kindred. He is full of empathy and emotional intelligence, warmth and care. I love him. So do millions of other people. I am very lucky to know him.

We began by talking about sex and gender and dating, and gendered dating, & bondage… and we wound up talking about core wounds, therapy, sexual assault, healing, EMDR, and trauma. Join us for this deep sea dive, darling.

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HOW TO HACK SEX! Oct 21, 2022

So, you want to be better at sex, eh? GRAND! You have come to the right place, darling.

In this episode, I sit down for a one-on-one with Kenneth Play, the World’s Greatest Sex Hacker (according to GQ & Men’s Health). Author of the book “Beyond Satisfied” and creator of the single greatest sex ed resource I have ever encountered (for learning how to please a pussy), the “Pleasure Hacker Pro” course, Kenneth is a force for female pleasure across the planet.

He has personally changed my sex life with his guidance, many times over, and now, perhaps, he just might change yours.

In our first PS! episode together (though, certainly not the last), Kenneth offers us 13 takeaways: tips, tricks, tools, and hacks we can apply immediately! tonight! in service of a more pleasurable life.

And who doesn’t want a more pleasurable life? Come on now. VIVA LA PLEASURE! VIVA!

PS! You too, can be a Sex Hacker. It just takes a little bit of practice. Mwah!

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What is sex, anyway? Oct 13, 2022

Welcome to Positively Sex! Sex Ed, with Pleasure, a sex-positive talk show on timely, titillating, tender, and sometimes taboo themes.

Most of us were taught — if we were taught anything about sex at all — that sex is about procreation. And so, most of us grew up believing the only real sex is the kind you can make a baby with.

If babymaking sex is not the definition you want to go by anymore — and it’s certainly not the one I want to go by anymore — then I have a question: What is sex, anyway?

So I took to the parks and the streets of my city: New York City — a place where you can find every kind of person and every sort of opinion on any given corner.

People seem to be thinking more deliberately about sex than ever before. And that, darling, is Positively Sex!

P.S. Mwah!

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