Positively Sex! with Lila

Latest Episodes:

13. What is orgasm, anyway? Jan 20, 2023

Show notes

Hello darlings! This episode is all about The Big O! Climax! Orgasm! Coming! (Or Cumming!) Yes! Yes! Yes!

Many of us crave it. Fantasize about it. Jump through hoops to achieve it. But what, exactly, is it? And perhaps more importantly, how do we experience it?

For this episode, I took to a sidewalk in San Francisco, a festival in Miami, the HoliGay market in Austin, Texas, my own bedroom, and the tables outside the Standard Hotel in New York City… and spoke with a sex tech expert, a kink activist, a porn creator, a sex party host, a somatics coach, festival-goers, and strangers on the street with opinions, to explore this one crucial question:

What is orgasm, anyway?

Positively will return! January 19th 2023! Jan 06, 2023

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Hello darlings! Positively Sex! is on hiatus for two weeks, & here are three ways you can keep engaging, with pleasure! Coming (and coming) back January 19th. MWAH!

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Stop Dating Immediately! (until you figure this out) Dec 31, 2022

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Do you know your relationship orientation?

Relationship scientist, sex researcher, & NYU professor Dr. Zhana Vrangalova shares some controversial new research on gender identity, discusses sexual orientation, bisexuality, and the third category, & lays out the 5 relationship styles for us.

Knowing your relationship orientation will change your romantic & sexual life forever. I think you're ready!

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The State of Sex Address! [Winter 2022] Dec 23, 2022

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The State of Sex Address is a glance around the world, around the U.S., around my community, and inside myself.Taking stock of what I witness, hear, and feel from the media, pop culture, the government, my community, my friends, & me, I address the best sex of my life, reality TV dating, sex ed on social media, abortion rights, ClubQ, & the death of Jina Mahsa Amini and the revolt of women in Iran.Just like the State of the Union, the State of Sex… is always changing. I plan to Address Sex every season (winter, spring, summer, fall) beginning with this, our Winter of 2022.

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HOW TO OVERCOME SEXUAL SHAME! Dec 16, 2022

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In this episode, Sexuality Coach Hannah Deindorfer shares something that might change your mind about shame (kink, anyone?), a method of investigating shame with curiosity, and, ultimately, a path to transmuting sexual shame… if that's what we want to do!

Sex is about relationships. To ourselves, to our lovers, to our partners, and, far too often, to the voices in our heads telling us that what we desire is somehow wrong. That's programming. And we can reprogram! We can upgrade! Hannah shows us how. And that is, indeed, Positively Sex!

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Sex in... INDONESIA! Dec 09, 2022

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This week, Indonesia banned sex before marriage. When the new laws go into effect, anyone caught can be jailed — up to a year for sex, 6 months for living together. Including foreigners. The new criminal code also makes it illegal to: renounce religion. Speak out against the state. Or speak ill of the President. Oh, or get an abortion.

Through interviews with four Indonesians hailing from three different islands, this episode explores the sexual landscape of Indonesia, including the consequences of a complete lack of sex ed — rampant HIV, a high rate of teen pregnancies, and a hostile environment for queer people.

Sex in… Indonesia highlights the recent case of two Peruvian trans men (a Harvard grad student & his husband) who were honeymooning in Bali and detained by authorities. Rodrigo died in custody. His husband Sebastian, eventually released, made a statement about the torture he endured.

To conclude with some hope, PS! points to resources for sex education in Bahasa, a clinic for STI testing on Bali, and the Queer Indonesian Archive.

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Objectify me (sometimes): a hot! gender-affirming! sex story! Dec 01, 2022

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Colin-Alexa (Callie for short) shares the story of their first time going to a sex club solo, getting cruised by a couple, and being a unicorn for the night: the object of desire.Woven through the telling and our discussion are nuanced, and often surprising, revelations about sex & gender, desire & fetishization, how objectification can feel good (in the right context), femininity & exhibitionism, & the deep vulnerability of penetration.As well as a few hot tips about dressing up your package, deep-throating, and rebranding the Walk of Shame! That is Positively Sex!

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How to GET WHAT YOU WANT (IN BED!) Nov 28, 2022

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Marcia B., co-founder of Cuddle Party, and Lila discuss desires & fantasies, offers & requests, no's & negotiations, the difference between boundaries & limits, the crucial question, "Who is this for?" & what makes asking for what you really, really want so. Damn. Vulnerable.

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THE HOTTEST THING A MAN CAN DO FOR A WOMAN Nov 17, 2022

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In this episode, I talk to three heterosexual men, about the hottest thing a man can do for a woman. When I suggest to a friend of mine that she go out with a man, and tell her that he has this, that friend goes "Oooooooo."

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It's Hard Out Here for a Slut! {Hot Take Roundtable} Nov 10, 2022

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Hot Takes:

Straight men are confused right now.
Nipples are nipples. WTF Instagram?!
About choking tho.
BREAKING NEWS!

Women can have strong libidos!

Positively Sex! began as a live, interactive audio show on the social audio app Clubhouse. During our 12 episodes, my Mod Squad (leaders in a Clubhouse room are called Moderators) and I gathered together with our smart, curious, courageous community to break the taboo, and freely discuss all kinds of tender, titillating, & timely topics.

We did this across the country - and the world - from one another. Chi in Seattle, Annie & Gina in New York, Samia in Colorado, & Talia and I in Bali.

Here, recorded for the very first time in person, the majority of the PS! Mod Squad discusses: messages given to heterosexual men, Dominant / submissive dynamics, nipples deemed female, and being sexually-adventurous women! Meow!

PS! There's more where this came from, bb! You can join us LIVE ON CLUBHOUSE for a little reunion kiki, on Thursday nights at 9pm Eastern / 6pm Pacific. Join the Positively Sex! HOUSE on Clubhouse!

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