Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak

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Ask Me Why I Know Apr 15, 2025

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Jacqueline has made it "home" to her preferred London rental after a harrowing journey through Ireland and Amsterdam*. Kate has left London where she saw the second ghost of her life and sawed through a grisly steak at a beloved restaurant. Which do you fear more? Oversalted or undersalted. Negotiating the greek drama of which hag was spared a cold or fated to have one. Bemoaning the phones, the fight for our lives. Making positive change means mourning years lost to the previous way. Jacqueline continues to push her agenda about the false mental construct of the nose's interior to Kate's continued disgust.

Act 4 Product Corner (Premium Subscription Only) Kate tempts Jacqueline with a new lip stain, and introduces a new facial mask into the mix.

*Paris was glorious and will be covered in the upcoming Paris bonus ep.

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I Work Days Apr 08, 2025

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The hags are in Europe. Jacqueline joins from a hotel room in Dublin, sick with a cold, praying to angels. Kate joins from London where in a state of suspension, she lives out of one suitcase and between two rooms. Bless the body when it does its job. Rumor is drain the necks. Decision-induced euphoria. Morsels of freedom. ‘Scuse me, ‘scuse me, I've got a show’ mode. An idea: institute draino between each hotel guest. An ASMR of JN packing is teased.

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Massive Buccal Overload Apr 01, 2025

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With the "States" forgotten, Jacqueline and Kate are both in London, dealing with restaurant "bookings." An animal darts past Jacqueline explaining the screeches from the night before. Kate's suffering - broken headphones - needs to be witnessed by three. Competitive airplane seat wipe down. One-shot television. Name-brand meds hidden in a teddy bear. Two Y2K cameras found at Portobello Market. When a service you’ve ignored finally becomes relevant to you. The cover of the movie, stamped on a tote bag. Restored by a mall in an unfamiliar place. The wrestle with contour continues. It's a business at its beginning.

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Precious Cargo Mar 25, 2025

Show notes

Jacqueline gets a fly fisherman’s vest to avoid crossing rooms while Kate diligently prepares for travel. The morning shed trend and how to use an hour? Two pomodoros or (10 +2)5. Kate asserts her place in line and immediately regrets it. Swallowed by a whale, you remain inside life. The daily reminder that it’s darkest before dawn. Adopting a mother and son cat duo. A cat called Yardwork. Mistaking mace for essence is a risk.

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Tryptophan: The Pride of the 90s Mar 18, 2025

Show notes

Kate texts Jacqueline whenever she drinks Celsius because it's that rare. Topical magnesium so special it’s kept in the back of Erewhon. To start a rumor you were cut out of The Brutalist. When Rocket Money points out you’re paying them monthly. Accepting your cold is the only way it lifts. A spaghetti squash is forever.

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code HAGS at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod

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Three Baths A Day Mar 11, 2025

Show notes

Jacqueline overhears two energy healers talking shit about a third. Ego versus essence. Not everyone spends their time in the aisles of self-help. Admiring angry. A decorative rug in the bathroom versus an absorbent stone. When ginger chews took a town by storm. Milkshake on a long car ride. Kate needs a burger twice a month. Burning $500 in the woods is an active sacrifice. Is hot sauce humor the lowest form of expression. Jacqueline invents a robe with two buttons. High school Kate goes to The Price Is Right. When a mood becomes a temperament that becomes a personality. Empowered by an EpiPen. Shower steamers are of interest. Lavender is unexpectedly polarizing? Running the bath once you’re in it. Favorite all time bath product? Water.

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Grecian Marble Wet T-Shirt Contest Mar 04, 2025

Show notes

The human body can manage all manner of insults and injuries, but complimentary valet should be standard. Shiny versus glowy versus sliding down the hood of a car. Kate gets a hot towel at the barber shop. Jacqueline’s uncapped pen dries out. A Grecian marble wet t-shirt contest. Microdosing alcohol. A curly haircut takes three days to settle, but Kate needs someone to tell her it looks the same. Jacqueline wants to take up 3D printing and continues to yearn for a patent illustrator friend. Returning to your hometown Whole Foods. Reserving the Chantilly cake. In line for a honey baked ham that spans 10 blocks. Vegan caviar is here.

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A Very Small Big Dipper Feb 25, 2025

Show notes

If you sleep eight hours, there's sixteen hours left with which to work. One cigarette in the front dummy pack and last night’s dessert is known in today’s lymphatic massage. The ice cream behind the topping, forgotten. A soft arrow. Finding anchors during self-checkout meltdowns. Nostalgia is the big killer. Shallow breaths while watching TV and Toto toilet’s eagerness to receive your piss. A letter’s formation on the page may or may not be relevant. Is that Orion bathing in the big dipper? Dreams really kick in after hour nine. Cuarón. Tongue stretching to the sky, paying for local pesticides, and mystical revelations.

Take the online quiz and introduce Ollie to your pet. Visit https://ollie.com/HAGS today for 60% off your first box of meals! #ToKnowThemIsToLoveThem

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Cheap, Fast, and Good Feb 18, 2025

Show notes

The hags are at a crossroads when it comes to brewing tea. To see a three-inch text, be touched by it, then be swept in the current of life. A read receipts reveal. Four serums, but who was the hero? Jacqueline drafts an auto-reply. Kate sees herself in the face of coin. Beetlejuice on a vision board? For lack of a better word…yeah. Don’t get your neck adjusted. The rise of subtle before and afters. To order out of pocket and have something waiting downstairs. The results of the dermaplaning have equalized. Drinking Cortados since long before it became…Trenley. Kate has a new favorite skin tint spf serum she saves the reveal for the premium feed.

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No Precious Outcomes Feb 11, 2025

Show notes

Construction paper, doilies, hearts drawn with varying depths of cleavage. Empty restaurants on Wednesday evenings. The Grove at closing time. A life in the arts rejects the calendar in favor of Valentine’s dinner on the 15th. The High School self misrepresented. Thespians, athletes, badges, and cut grass. Dating advice cannot save you, but have your fun hunting it down. Boom.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp

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The ads team greatly appreciates you flagging these ads so they can identify advertisers who are gaming the system.

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