Polyamory Weekly

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28 Kinky Kollege and the PW drinking game Oct 04, 2005

Show notes

Coming up on this week's show: Kinky Kollege, the Polyamory Weekly drinking game, unindicted co-conspirators, poly in the media, a Dutch threesome, earbud-worthy podcasts and a whole conference on the big J. Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening! 0:00-1:20 Introduction Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com 1:20-3:05 The PW drinking game Alien_sunset suggests the PW drinking game! 3:05-6:15 Kinky Kollege: Lolita Wolf's poly seminar Two things that struck a chord with me: first, if you have a strong emotion, make an agreement. Second, a bit of advice (from her, not me!): Live honorably, and let others do what they will. 6:15-18:15 Listener mail Dollfan comments about the film When Two Won't Do and minx puts out a call for positive poly films; MS writes in about labels and "unindicted co-conspirators;" brennustar talks about being poly and Christian; Kel writes in with a coming-out story, which encourages minx to recommend some Zen books for those who are so inclined: Nothing Special: Living Zen and Everyday Zen: Love and Work by Charlotte Joko Beck; B2 writes in about the benefits of PW for his own monogamous relationship and how much he's enjoying Radical Ecstasy from the Greenery Press 18:15-23:00 Polyamory in the media: comments minx discusses her first mainstream media interview; darkmane comments that we aren't persecuted enough to really ask for media attention 23:00-31:00 Polyamory in the media: NYT story, Foreign Policy article, first Dutch civil union New York Times short story from September 4, 2005 is Three Men and a Woman by Stephen Elliott. The article on www.foreignpolicy.com by Jacques Attali is Monogamy: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow. The article about the Dutch threesome forming a civil union is in the Brussels Journal 31:00-34:15 Earbud-worthy podcasts! Coloring Outside the Lines podcast by listener Takanami Sex with Emily, available at sexwithemily.com And my San Francisco buddy 5x5guy is just about to debut Queer Sex Weekly 34:15-35:15 Announcement: the Jealousy Conference Info on the Jealousy Conference in Berekly, CA, October 14-16, is available here. 35:15-end Wrap-up If you like the intro/outro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio. Tags: jealousy, media, podcast, polyamory

27 Coming out professionally Sep 20, 2005

Show notes

0:00-1:55 Introduction Intro, under-18 warning, and an apology. 1:55-7:50 Listener mail Eric Silverbear and poly conferences; Takanami calls in about painting; K writes in about women talking about sex; Vannevar Morgan comments on my approach to smut 7:50-10:30 Comments--erotica: Morgan Hawke Morgan Hawke, author of Victorious Star, Fortune's Star and Fallen Star, writes in about how he came to start writing poly-friendly erotica of the MFM variety and "erotic romance." His work is available at DarkErotica.net or Darkerotica.blogspot.com. 10:30-13:50 Comments: on sending flowers Graydancer of Rope Weekly writes in with some poly advice, and minx tells a story. 13:50-21:30 Comments: Amy Gahran comments on coming out Amy Gahran of Contentious tells more about her professional outing and makes a few corrections. Links: BlogHer How To Get Naked This is a downloadable audio link of the panel discussion. Her blog article on outing herself. 21:30-26:30 Listener mail: single and poly 5x5guy writes in to ask about dealing with being a third and issues surrounding that. 26:30-28:30 Topic: The Anna Karennina principle Pure agnostic's musings in the Polyfi community about the necessary ingredients for a happy poly relationship, including above-average communication skills, above-average problem-solving skills, unflinching honesty and integrity, flexibility and compromise and empathy. 28:30-35:30 Topic: Baltimore Sun article, "Term of Endearments" This wonderful article on the Loving More conference in the Baltimore Sun is unfortunately no longer available online, but the staff writer was John Woestendick if you'd like to write in and compliment him. Robyn Trask of Loving More magazine is quote extensively. 35:30-end Wrap-up Tags: coming out, loving more, poly, polyamory

26 Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, continued Sep 12, 2005

Show notes

Part two of our interview with Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, coauthors of The Ethical Slut.

25 Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy interview Sep 05, 2005

Show notes

00-2:50 Introduction and under-18 warning 2:50-4:20 introduction on Dossie and Janet 4:20-11:20 Is polyamory really about the sex? Answer: yes! How sex can be there even when it's not; what is "sex" anyway; should the right to a vibrator-induced orgasm be included in the bill of rights? 11:20-16:50 What do you see as the relationship between BDSM and poly lifestyles? Dossie comments on the BDSM community recognizing many different roles; Janet muses that BDSM folks often don't see sex as binary 16:50-22:50 Thoughts on what "sex" and "monogamy" mean; what feelings are likely to encourage jealousy; learning how to take care of yourself when jealous 22:50-24:10 on competitiveness in the BDSM scene 24:10-32:35 on role-playing Samwise and Gollum; on the victim/villain roleplay scenario and women's prison movies; emotional journeying and uncovering and welcoming the "shadow" through role playing 32:35-36:10 vulnerability of the top through the prom queen/juvenile delinquent scene Curious about upcoming Radical Ecstasy workshops? Check out Austin, Texas' GWNN Bash on September 17th or in Vancouver, Canada on October 15th through Libido Events.

24 A poly mission statement Aug 30, 2005

Show notes

Coming up on this week'sPolyamory Weekly: thoughts on luck in America, a listener's first frubble, poly cards in the offing? A taste of poly smut, facing monogamy, jealousy as a refrigerator, and a poly mission statement. Questions? Comments? Feedback? Erotica? Email minx at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening! 00-2:15 Introduction. updates Introduction, under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen.com. 2:15-9:20 Comments: More on being lucky 5x5 comments on being "lucky" and points out preexisting socioeconomic conditions that make some folks less than lucky others to begin with, and Jason continues the discussion by giving a nod of credit to that train of thought and elaborates on his original letter. 9:20-9:50 Listener mail JM writes in, so welcome to our new listeners from Violet Blue! 9:50-12:25 Listener mail:

R writes in about arguments, frubble and Spider Robinson R says minx is the voice in the back of his head (!!); he shares the story of his first frubbly feeling; our official plug for Spider Robinson'sThe Callahan Chronicles. 12:25-14:00 Listener mail: "I hate you days" Brent comments on having "I hate you days" and on how labelling these feelings helped his and L's relationship. 14:00-15:40 Listener mail: Secret Lover cards Listener Randy wrote in to let us know that his friend C did write the company and request poly-friendly "Secret Lover" cards that were just as beautiful and passionate as the original collection! 15:40-16:55 Listener mail: Smut! Brent recommends Morgan Hawkes' Victorious Star and Fallen Star, published through Loose ID, and Fortune's Star, a novella published in the anthology Hard Candy. 16:55-20:20 Sam provides poly erotica! I read my favorite bit from Sam's submisison that is less about action and more about showing passion and bodily reaction. 20:20-21:00 Listener mail: label no more! 21:00-26:45 Listener mail: poly to monogamous transition Listener A writes in to relate the judgmental attitudes she faced from family, lovers and community when she and her lover opted for a monogamous relationship after being poly. minx comments on tolerance in general and how to remain friends with those you feel are making a mistake. 26:45-29:30 Topic: graydancer and cunningminx's Mission Statement During a long afternoon of painful relationship negotiation, Graydancer and minx brainstormed individual answers to the questions, "Why are you poly?" and "What do you get from being being poly?" and created their own mission statement for Graydancer and minx as a poly couple.(Our Mission Statements) 29:30-30:05 Topic: Mistresse Matisse gives us a grin If you want to feel refreshed and validated and go "awww!", read this reposting of Mistresse Matisse of how she met and feel in love with her partner of six years. 30:05- Topic: Tacit's article on jealousy and refrigerators Tacit's article on jealousy Topic: On coming out Props to Amy Gahran for opting to come out (in a polite, subtle way) as poly in her professional blog. What a great model for coming out in an honest but non-jingoistic way. Her personal/poly blog is here. Not prurient in the least, so if you're looking for smut, stay here or go to Open Source Sex. Resource: smut One podcast suggestion: Pizza Babe is here. Like the intro/outro music? It's by a band called Pacemaker Jane out of Ohio. Go buy their stuff!

23 Ohio Leather Fest recap Aug 25, 2005

Show notes

Coming up on this week's special hour-long Polyamory Weekly: emotional journeying, psychic vampires, and radical ecstasy at Ohio Leather Fest. community cooperation (or lack thereof), more thoughts on poly vs swinging, relationship roles, arguments, and saying goodbye to your secret lover. Questions? Comments? Feedback? Erotica? Email minx at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening! 00-3:50 Introduction. updates Introduction, under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen.com. Graydancer co-hosts as we are both silly and sleep-deprived after rushing back early from Ohio Leather Fest to attend to Genevieve in the hospital. Yes, she seems to be OK, although the doctors still don't know what brought on her attacks of tachycardia. And Graydancer tells of how a charge nurse jolted him from OLF head space into St. Anthony's hospital real space. 3:50 OLF recap: Dossie Easton's Emotional Journeying OLF recap--Graydancer reviews Dossie Easton's seminar on Emotional Journeying. The Ethical Slut and Radical Ecstasy are mentioned, along with Jung and childhood issues. 6:45-13:00 OLF: Michelle Belanger's The Body Electric We both discuss Michelle Belanger's amazing "The Body Electric" energy work seminar, in which graydancer experienced energy exchange as a dom, and minx was in the "splash zone," so her yoni got some energy action as well! And yes, she agreed to an interview, so stay tuned for a fascinating interview with this psychic vampire. 13:00-20:10 OLF: Janet Hardy's workshop review First, her books: The Ethical Slut, Radical Ecstasy, The New Topping Book, The New Bottoming Book, and Kinkycrafts. Did we mention she's also the founder of The Greenery Press? Go buy these books there! Our seminar experience, with three-way energy flow, head space, green alien energy glow, and some radical ecstasy of our own. 20:10 Graydancer talks about how to become a better kinkster 21:00-28:05 Community clashes We discuss Rick Mansfield's keynote address and listener mail: why can't the alternative communities just get along and pull together? 28:05-35:00 Listener mail: poly vs swinging What is polysexual? Are our labels bringing us down and confusing us? Is it the in-betweeners of the poly and swinger communities that are giving both a bad name? 35:00-36:30 Listener mail: Sambear writes in to stroke the minx 36:30-43:15 Listener mail: Relationship roles Vannevar Morgan writes in about choosing the roles in your relationship and a plea to hear more about how to argue through relationship-threatening issues; Graydancer and minx disagree about god vs. culture. 43:15-45:00 Listener mail: argument advice Friendly neighborhood swingers write in again about using "I love you, but I don't like you very much right now" as a way to argue without fearing the loss of the relationship. 45:00- Weird shit: Secret Lover cards The collection is a Secret Lover. Graydancer reads "So in Love" and minx reads "Goodbye." We recommend Kinky Cards if you're into BDSM or Naughty Cards. 50:45-end Plugs galore! Upcoming interview with Michelle Belanger, Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. Graydancer plugs his show, Rope Weekly, which he'll be promoting at the Open Heart, Open Mind conference in San Francisco in September. Like the intro/outro music? It's by a band called Pacemaker Jane out of Ohio. Go buy their stuff!

Tags: dossie easton, janet hardy, michelle beranger, olf, open hearts open minds, secret lover

22 Listener mail Aug 16, 2005

Show notes

Polyamory Weekly #22 is up! Coming up on this week's show: mail, mail and more mail--just the way I like it! a message for the the perverts, a call for smut, and an upcoming interview. Questions? Comments? Smut you'd like to send in? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening! 00-1:30 Intro Under-18 disclaimer and Scarleteen and excitement about Ohio Leather Fest . 1:30-3:30-Listener mail: poly resource Ohmygoddess shares another excellent poly dating site, www.polyplaza.net , including a variety of forums. 3:30-6:45 Listener mail: heya from Justin Graydancer's podcast is Rope Weekly, for those who are interested in Shibari. 6:45-9:05 Listener mail from a special friend A special email with high praise for the minx, and find out minx' "bar name." 9:05-16:10 Listener mail: Weekly window of sharing Comments and thoughts from a non-poly listener, and minx comments on deeply-engrained sex/dating/marriage paradigms and extends a special welcome to monogamous and non-labeled listeners. Intro/Outro music, BTW, is by Pacemaker Jane out of Ohio, and the song is called "Good Suspicions." 16:10- Contact info for minx cunningminx@gmail.com, listener comment line at 306-600-5677 17:05-22:15 Listener mail: an important lesson about arguments Jason writes in on the importance on knowing that the relationship is OK, even during a fight, and recounts a childhood story about hearing his parents argue. And what do you think of his new tagline suggestion? 22:15- 32:45 Listener mail: on being lucky Luck, being put in the path of opportunities, and doing constant life work in order to recognize opportunies and be equipped to take advantage of them when they come along. Minx recounts a personal tale of "luck" and the non-luck-oriented events, actions and values that led up to it. 32:45-37:50 Listener mail: poly vs. swingers N & A ask why many polyamorists often show disdain or disapproval of swingers; minx comments based on her own experiences and puts out a call for swingers to interview. Anyone out there up for discussing this further? 37:50-39:00 Perverts asking for pix Find minx's face at Poly Weekly Show Notes page or her nekkid, tied-up bod at Graydancer's Gallery page. 39:00-39:25 Call for poly smut 39:25-40:20 minx needs help! minx calls for help from her listeners for interviewing Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy this weekend. What would you ask them if you could? 40:20-43:40 Polyamory Weekly's philosophy/mission statement It's official; this is what Polyamory Weekly has become. Our philosophy: Shared joy is increased; shared pain is lessened. That's why we're here.

21 Indecent communication Aug 09, 2005

Show notes

Show Notes for Polyamory Weekly #21: Coming up on this week's show: indecent communication and the CDA, bumper stickers, that pesky mono to poly transition--how the hell do you do it??, swinging vs polyamory, and do you feel lucky? Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com , or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening! Like the intro/outro music? Check out the band at www.pacemakerjane.com! 00-2:30 Intro Adult disclaimer & scarleteen.com; upcoming Ohio Leather Fest and hopes of interview with Dossie Easton and Catherine Lizst 2:30-7:20 News Polyamory Weekly was mentioned on a CNET article! Violet Blue's Open Source Sex gets its props (RSS Feed, if you like, is: http://violetblue.libsyn.com/rss ). minx issues a call to her listeners for poly erotica--please send to me at cunningminx@gmail.com! Let's smut up the internet! And thanks to Amy Gahran of Contentious blog for her intelligent, well-spoken comment. 7:20-11:45 Listener mail: CDA rantings, by MissLala regarding censorship 11:45-14:30 Listener mail: Jack rants on "Decency" and the CDA 14:30-16:00 Listener mail: resources Brent writes in with resources to fight censorship: Electronic Frontier foundation www.eff.org Electronic Privacy Info Center: www.epic.org American Civil Liberties Union: www.aclu.org 16:00-16:50 Listener mail: Takanami writes in about sheep 16:50-18:20 Resource: poly-friendly bumper sticker Tacit, creater of xeromag.com, a great poly resource site, has created a cool poly bumper sticker on his Cafe Press site: www.cafepress.com/alternativelife 18:20-24:50 Listener mail: going from mono to poly when in a relationship 24:50-30:35 Listener mail: healing when poly doesn't work This one is painful to hear. 30:35-36:45 Poly vs swinging Peppermint's notes/thoughts on July 7 LJ polyamory vs swinging: here 36:45-end Some toughts on being lucky This intelligent rant is courtesy of tacit, who expressed so well the ideas of freedome of choice in our lives. Tags: olf, open source sex, poly weekly, swinging

20 The hotwife lifestyle Aug 02, 2005

Show notes

Ay. Just flew in from Tuscon, arriving home at 1:00 this morning; edited my little heart out on the plane until my battery died and finished up the post this morning. So forgive any tech difficulties; this was edited and posted on scant hours of sleep! Show Notes for Polyamory Weekly for August 2, 2005: In this week's show, more on the hotwife lifestyle, on being poly and living with herpes, one listener's story of coming out to children, why minx is fucking pissed off and how minx discovered that all her listeners were big perverts. 00-3:15 Intro & chat under-18 warning and re-direction to Scarleteen, Tuscon visit to fencert, teaser for upcoming interviews. Like the new intro/outro music? It's a band out of Ohio, Pacemaker Jane and the song, available for download through Garage Band, is called "Good Suspicion." 3:15-7:50 Listener mail: poly sexuality; living with hsv, hpv Demonicvinyl orc writes in about being poly and his own sexuality, plus dealing with hsv (herpes) and hpv (genital warts) in a poly situation. 7:50-9:00 Listener mail: more on the hotwife lifestyle TA provides links and more info on the hotwife phenomenon, including articles here and communities here. 9:00-14:50 Listener mail: one story of coming out to children Takanami and Imp share their stories of coming out to their kids. 14:50-15:45 Listener mail: a movie suggestion, "Closer" 15:45-23:30 The CDA is pissin' me off Freedom of Speech (not): Barbara Nitke and the case against the CDA. To donate: donate to fight the CDA , NCSF website, Barbara Nitke's website. 23:30-end Listener mail: most-downloaded episode? What's the most-downloaded episode? or "How minx discovered that her listeners were all pervs" & wrap-up. Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com. Thanks for listening, ya pervs! Tags: cda, hotwife, perverts, poly

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