Plenty with Kate Northrup

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Episode 190: Workaholism: The Only Culturally Celebrated Addiction That's Killing Us and How We Can Stop It Jul 07, 2020

Show notes

There’s a pattern so many of us have been indoctrinated into that’s depleting our bodies, our relationships, our planet, our innovation, and even our productivity.

What makes it so insidious is that we’re celebrated for it, and many of us spend our whole lives in a reward loop that affirms a behavior that’s not doing us any favors.

The addiction?

Work.

Alcohol addiction, drug addiction, sex addiction, shopping addiction, gambling addiction, and more are recognized as problematic behaviors for which treatment and healing can and should be sought.

Overwork, however?

We just throw each other a parade for that.

Today on the podcast Mike and I are talking about our collective obsession with work and how it’s killing us on multiple levels.

If you suspect that your addiction to work is holding you back in more ways than one, you’re gonna want to listen in.

This episode is likely going to get under your skin in a way that’s simultaneously uncomfortable and necessary.

And just in case you think we’re being righteous on our “we’ve already figured this thing out” high horses, we’re not.

We share our recent foibles with slipping back into overwork and how we tend to those old patterns on a daily basis so that they don’t get the better of our souls.

Can’t wait to hear how this one lands with you.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Episode 189: How to Scientifically Break Racial Bias with Anu Gupta Jun 30, 2020

Show notes

There are people called to do the work of pulling people out of the river when they’re drowning.

We need these people, and I’m so grateful for them.

There are also people called to do the work of going upstream to figure out why they’re falling in in the first place and seeing if something can be done to prevent that.

We really need these people too, and I’m extraordinarily grateful for them as well.

I recently met one of these people, and his mission is as deeply inspiring as it is practical.

(The Maine girl in me loves the practical.)

Anu Gupta asked the bold question:

Can we live in a world where people—regardless of their identities—feel like they belong everywhere?

His answer came in the form of adapting cutting-edge scientific evidence to design a science-backed, compassion-based way for people to break bias, racial or otherwise.

Anu realized that at the root of the institutionalized and systemic issues that hold people of different identities back is bias.

And he knew that if he could figure out a way for people to break that bias, he could make a huge dent in creating a world where everyone feels like they belong everywhere.

Listen in to this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show to hear:

• How bias is formed in the brain and why it’s critical that we learn to break it

• How Anu’s own journey of battling other people’s assumptions and judgments about him informed the creation of his company

• How he overcame being suicidal and turned toward hope and transformation

• How stepping more into the spotlight has been critical for his company’s impact (as well as his own personal growth)

• What the PRISM framework is and how you can use it to break your bias in a measurable way within 6-8 weeks of regular practice

• How breaking bias can become a spiritual experience

You’ll also hear a particularly human and hilarious moment during the episode where we got to meet Anu’s family!

Press play and listen.

Anu’s work around breaking bias is a HUGE part of the solution that we need right now. I’m so excited to be able to share his message (and heart) with you today.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Episode 188: Pulling Back The Curtain On Our Anti-Racism Journey Jun 23, 2020

Show notes

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been posting on social media primarily about anti-racism and the collective opportunity we have right now to step into racial healing and liberation.

I rarely check my own Instagram stats, but I decided to take a look and found that for the first time in months, I’m losing more followers than I’m gaining each week.

These two things coinciding with one another is not just a coincidence.

I don’t know why each person is specifically unfollowing (and on a personal level, though it makes me sad for them and the world, I’m good with weeding out the folks who don’t want to be part of the conversation. They’re obviously not my people...at least not right now).

However, what I do know is that talking about race is uncomfortable. That’s why people don’t want to do it.

That’s why my family didn’t talk about it growing up. That’s why my school didn’t talk about it much.

Yet, just like with anything uncomfortable, if we avoid it, it festers. Ignoring discomfort does nothing to relieve the discomfort. It simply ensures it will come out in some other, likely much worse way later.

Mike and I have been on a journey of doing anti-racism work internally, within our company, and within our communities for several years, and as more and more people wake up to how necessary this conversation and work is, we thought we’d talk about it on the podcast.

Disclaimer: We are in no way anti-racism teachers or experts. We are simply two people talking about what we’re doing, what we’re thinking about, who we’re learning from, what it’s been like, and how we’re navigating this work.

Listen in to this week’s fresh-off-the-digital-recording-device episode to find out:

• What the natural world and our bodies have to teach us about diversity and healing (yep, biomimicry applies to everything!)

• The life-changing encounter I had that shifted my relationship with my privilege, especially as it relates to shame and guilt

• How doing the work feels now as opposed to several years ago when we were just getting started

• How we’re ensuring that our anti-racism work is sustainable, so we can show up for the long haul (i.e., forever)

• Who we’re loving learning from

• How to access the hope and healing available for all of us right now

Press play and listen in, especially if you’d rather not.

I love you. Thanks for being here with us.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Episode 187: How to Plan When You Can't Plan Jun 16, 2020

Show notes

One of the walls of our basement is covered with 12 poster-sized dry-erase calendars showing a truly stunning 2020 business plan.

When I look at it, I chuckle.

Because so far, 2020 has been the year that cannot be planned (nor planned for).

None of us could have planned for sheltering in place. None of us could have planned for the number of things that have been cancelled. None of us could have planned for the racial justice revolution that’s sweeping the world right now.

So what about those of us who use planning as a coping mechanism? What about those of us who find safety and calm in calendaring?

I started planning as a way of life when I was about 7. It started with a little hand-drawn schedule for playdates after school, evolved into my school agendas where I’d write down my homework, developed into my Daytimer system that became Filofax, and now has made its home squarely with the Do Less Planner system (by far the best I’ve experienced, obviously ;)).

Someone asked in the Do Less Facebook group (it’s free - search it and join us!) the other day how to use the Do Less Planner system (or any planner system) during this time when we can’t plan in the ways we used to.

I realized that though the planner system I developed can certainly be used in the expected ways of mapping the year and looking months in advance, it was actually really created for times like this when we come right up against our humanity.

If you’re a planner and are struggling with feeling out of control because you’re not able to use your normal strategies of planning to cope, I’m so glad you’re reading this.

Listen in to this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show about How to Plan When You Can’t Plan to learn:

The difference between planning as a trauma response and planning from a place of wholeness
What the only consistent thing we have to lean on right now is...and how to use it as a touchstone for safety and calm
How to optimize your time right now specifically so that you can still get done the things that need to get done while finding space for everything else that matters to you
The 3 elements of the Do Less Planner system that I’m leaning on right now for my sanity

Press play and listen.

We may not have any idea what’s going to be happening 6 months from now, but we are here, right now, today. That much we know for sure, and it turns out it’s a grain of truth upon which an entire beautiful life can be built.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Emergent Strategy: Adrienne Maree Brown Jun 09, 2020

Show notes

When I checked in with myself and listened to our community and the pulse of the world right now, what felt right this week was not to publish a new podcast episode, but to point your attention to one of our favorites from the past that features a black woman whose work is devoted to black liberation.

In the summer of 2018 I savored every word of Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by Adrienne Maree Brown.

(She’s since published Pleasure Activism, which became a NY Times bestseller and is also incredibly powerful.)

Adrienne dances the intersection between spirituality and social justice work in a way that feels really necessary right now.

If you’ve noticed spiritual leaders (especially white ones) jumping directly to unity and oneness without first acknowledging the 400 years of oppression that needs repair, and it doesn’t sit well with you, listen in.

If you’re feeling immobilized by the reality of the profound limitations of society and our history around race and what it means for you and your people, and you’re grappling with how it could possibly be at all connected to spirituality, listen in.

Adrienne’s words, laughter, and ideas are medicine.

In this episode that first came out January 1, 2019, but is no less relevant today, you’ll hear:

• How Adrienne practices time bending (and how feeling good is part of it)

• How she finally answered her calling to be a Doula despite being freaked out by blood

• Who she writes for (and who she does not)

• How to organize your life around the “YES!”

• How to join your spirituality and social justice work together

• How to know when to coast and why working hard all the time isn’t the way to go

• And so much more!

Press play and listen to her brilliance (and prepare to laugh!)

Thank you for being here in this community. Over the last week it’s become ever more clear to me that not all communities are places where people feel safe to be themselves and, even more so, affirmed for all of who they are.

While I will never get it perfect and I will continue to be humble and ready to fumble (quoting Erika Hines), you have my commitment that you matter to me and you are welcome here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to show up. I’ll continue to do the same.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Rachel Cargle: Unpacking White Feminism Jun 04, 2020

Show notes

The world is heavy right now with the increased awareness of violence and injustice against black people that's been going on for over 400 years here in the United States.

To the black people in our community, you are in my heart and prayers but most importantly, my actions.

As one of my favorite writers and teachers, Adrienne Maree Brown, said:

"Things are not getting worse, they're getting uncovered."

I also shared the following words from writer, producer, and performer Sarah Jones on Instagram the other day:

Rather than sharing a new episode of The Kate & Mike Show as we’d originally planned this week, we’re talking about anti-racism, healing, and liberation. There’s no other conversation I can imagine having right now.

This week I’m directing your attention to a conversation we had two years ago almost to the day with Rachel Cargle, activist, public academic, writer, and lecturer.

If you’re new to anti-racism and liberation work, welcome. Listening to Rachel is a great place to start.

If you’ve been actively engaged with this work for a long time now, I’m glad you’re here. This episode is for you, too.

In this conversation about Unpacking White Feminism you’ll learn:

• What’s particularly important for white women to know when it comes to showing up for the movement toward racial healing and liberation

• Why it’s so important to take your anti-racism work offline into your real life relationships as soon as possible and as often as possible (and how to do that)

• Where capitalism started and how to navigate entrepreneurship in that context

• An incredibly important yet often overlooked consideration we need to make when we’re researching who to vote for

• How to find out if your child’s school is racist

• And so much more

Please note that this conversation was recorded 2 years ago and while the salient points are just as relevant today, some of the details about Rachel and our lives have changed. If we were to have recorded this conversation today I would have asked things differently and not said certain things, but we’re sharing anyway because perfectionism and being afraid of messing up can be a bastion of white supremacy that can silence us and can perpetuate violence in some cases.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Episode 186: 5 Ways to Make Running Your Business Easier (and Even Improve Your Results) May 26, 2020

Show notes

When the final numbers came in at the end of April, both Mike and I were in awe.

Despite working half the amount, having no childcare, not being able to follow through on any of our growth plans, some of our customers having financial difficulty and needing to extend payment plans, and feeling uncertain about the future of our planet and humanity, April was an above-average revenue month.

And May is shaping up to be the same.

I’m not telling you this to brag. I’m telling you this because I still remain in awe that this whole “do less, achieve more” thing actually works.

These past months have been reminiscent of our first year as parents from the standpoint of contraction.

It was the pressure of sleepless nights, caring for a sick baby, riding the ups and downs of postpartum anxiety and insomnia, and a total shift in identity that birthed the “Do Less Method” in the first place.

And now we’ve been given an opportunity to practice what we preach in an even more devoted way because, once again, Life has given us an opportunity gift-wrapped as a challenge.

(Please know that as I write this, I’m aware that there are billions of people not faring well right now from a physical, financial, and emotional standpoint. That’s why I’m even more committed than ever to sharing how we can do less and have more. I would never propose that I have the solution to the global challenges we’re experiencing, but I’m definitely here to put in my shift and add the medicine that I know I’m here to add.)

There are 5 key things that we’ve been practicing that have made a huge difference for us these past 2.5 when it comes to keeping our revenue above average, serving our customers, and remaining sane and healthy. (And even thriving on some days!)

We outlined them for you with examples in this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show.

Listen in to 5 Ways to Make Running Your Business Easier (and Even Improve Your Results) to hear:

• The simple thing you can put first every day that makes a HUGE difference in your work output for the rest of the day

• The counterintuitive approach to our offerings that we’ve been using to increase our revenue

• Why creativity can be a huge time-waster (and how to make sure you don’t fall in that trap)

• The 2 things we do more of in our business so that we can do less of everything else

Running a business isn’t easy. But a lot of us are making it harder than it needs to be.

May this week’s show ease your path on multiple levels.

Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Episode 185: Equitable Partnership: How to Lovingly Share the Load May 19, 2020

Show notes

On Mother’s Day my husband Mike saw several posts from guys about their wives/partners which said something to the effect of:

“I don’t know how she does it all.”

While the posts were meant to be in appreciation of these women and the way they show up for their families, something about them didn’t sit well with Mike.

As we talked it through and he noodled on it over the next day or so, Mike came back with a pretty revolutionary perspective on why celebrating women for doing so much is so unintentionally harmful.

And we started off this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show, which is all about equity in partnerships, with his insight.

If you’ve ever felt like:

• You’re holding far more than your fair share of the household and childcare responsibilities

• You don’t know how to get your partner on board with a more equitable split of sharing the load

• The emotional labor of “holding” everything goes unnoticed and you’re sick of it

• You’re the partner who’s not holding as much and you feel guilty about it

• You really want to create an equitable partnership but you don’t know how and you don’t have any role models for what that might look like in 2020

...this episode is for YOU!

We’ve had lots of requests for an episode where we share the behind-the-scenes of how we share the load of work and home in our marriage, plus our suggestions for building equity in your own relationship, so that’s what we have for you this week!

Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Episode 184: How to Attract What You Want While Doing Less with Egg Wisdom May 12, 2020

Show notes

When you think about something that you want, do you immediately think of all of the different things you’re going to need to do in order to get it?

Even if you’re a student of metaphysics and you practice ways of attracting what you want energetically, does manifesting sometimes feel like a slog (or a lie)?

The heaviest belief a lot of us are carrying around is:

In order to get what I want I have to work hard.

And while I’m never one to shy away from devoted, focused attention to worthy tasks, I live in question of the assumption that anything we want has to come through hard work.

In fact, I even question the way folks who teach the “easy” way of manifesting seem to make it harder than I think is necessary.

That’s why I love the concept of Egg Wisdom that I learned about from my mom, Christiane Northrup, MD.

It’s all about the metaphor of our biological blueprint to attract what we want while doing less.

If you’ve never heard of Egg Wisdom, if you’ve heard of it but don’t really get it, or if you’ve been practicing it but want to know more, then this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show is for you.

Listen in to learn how to attract what you want while doing less with Egg Wisdom.

(Plus, you’ll get some insights on the problematic nature of how the Law of Attraction is sometimes taught and why Egg Wisdom applies to anyone of any gender identity or expression.)

If you’re anything like the hundreds of folks I’ve heard from who are so excited about their innate abilities of magnetism, aka Egg Wisdom, you’re going to LOVE this concept...and it’s going to make your life and work so much easier!

Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

Episode 183: How to Ask For What You Want This Mother’s Day (or Anytime) May 05, 2020

Show notes

The longest chapter I wrote in the first draft of Do Less was the chapter on Asking for Help. It was originally 25,000 words (one third of the contracted total word count) and it ended up becoming both the Receiving Help and Asking for Help chapters.

But there’s something super important that I left out of the chapter...because I was today years old when I realized it.

Yes, many of us struggle with asking for help because we think we should be able to handle everything ourselves.

We struggle because we think we’re the only ones who can do it right.

We struggle because we think it’s easier to do it ourselves than show someone else how to do it.

We struggle because we feel like we’re inconveniencing others when we ask.

But there’s another MAJOR reason that emerged as Mike and I were recording this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show, and it’s critical for us all to realize.

This week’s episode about How to Ask for What You Want on Mother’s Day (or Anytime) reveals the critical block preventing so many women from getting what they want.

I’ve been studying and thinking about this topic A LOT, and I didn’t even really get it until we recorded this conversation, so I have a feeling it’s going to be new for a lot of our listeners as well.

Knowing what the block is may be all you need in order for it to be evaporated. Awareness is always the first step, and sometimes it’s the only step necessary!

Listen in to this week’s episode to learn:

• The critical block preventing so many women from getting what they want

• The 3 simple steps to asking for what you want (and how to make it more likely you’ll get it)

• A low-hanging-fruit method for getting more of your needs met immediately without asking anyone for anything

• The difference between your needs and your desires and why both are necessary

Regardless of your parental status, let this conversation be the starting point for a whole new relationship with what you want.

And, if you’re a mother and you live in the USA, let this week leading up to Mother’s Day be your playground to practice a whole new way of being a woman and a mother that makes space for more of you, perhaps ALL of you.

Would you, or a company you know, be a good fit to sponsor The Kate & Mike Show? If so, let’s talk! You can email mike@mikejwatts.com regarding current sponsorship opportunities.

Show notes and links for this episode can be found at http://www.katenorthrup.com/podcast.

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