Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

Latest Episodes:

Why Your Child Listens to Everyone But You (And What to Do About It) Jun 02, 2026

Show notes

Why does my child listen to everyone but me? I remember being there myself. I was a teacher and counselor for thirteen years before I had kids, and I could not get my own oldest daughter to cooperate for five minutes. I thought, I am trained for this. What is wrong with me? Nothing was wrong with me. And nothing is wrong with you.

The truth is, what most of us were taught about cooperation is wrong. Cooperation isn't something you demand, it's something you grow. In this episode, I'm walking through the neuroscience of why your child saves their worst behavior for you, the five most common cooperation drains in our homes, and the five-step road map I teach my clients to flip the dynamic. I'll also share the story of a mom whose seven-year-old went from a nightly bedtime war to brushing his teeth before she even asked, and the one small shift that changed it.

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What You're Doing to Keep Them Safe Is Making Them Fragile May 26, 2026

Show notes

The week before my oldest daughter left for college, I caught myself reorganizing her room, repacking her bags, sending her articles she didn't ask for. And I realized standing in her doorway one night, she was ready. She had been ready for a long time. I was the one who wasn't ready to let her go. What hit me hardest wasn't the goodbye. It was the recognition that for years, I had been fighting the same quiet battle inside myself: the pull to manage, the pull to control outcomes, the pull to step in just one more time so things didn't go sideways.

In this episode, I'm walking you through what I now teach parents inside one-on-one coaching about raising a genuinely resilient kid. We'll cover the loving belief almost every parent holds that's quietly making their child more fragile, the brain science of "tolerable stress" and why your child's prefrontal cortex actually needs struggle to grow, the difference between abandoning and over-helping (a sweet spot I call connected courage), and the five shifts that change everything. This isn't about being a harder parent. It's about finally trusting the child you've been raising all along.

Download our Empathy Guide

Join us on our Weekly Training every Thursday at 9:30 am PT live on Facebook & Zoom

Interested in coaching? Book a Discovery Call with me at michelle@peaceandparentingla.com

Check out my book UNPUNISHED

Follow Peace and Parenting:

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

Facebook: @peaceandparentingla

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

The Phone Problem Isn't Your Kid's, It's Yours May 19, 2026

Show notes

For years in my own house, my ex-husband and I were both deep tech people. From the moment we woke up until we went to bed, there was some kind of screen running. Phones at the dinner table while the kids played next to us. And then I would turn around and try to set screen-time rules for my daughters, and wonder why nothing was working. The truth is, the most powerful screen-time intervention you have isn't what you do with your child's phone. It's what you do with yours.

In this episode, I'm walking you through the full framework for raising screen-smart kids without the daily power struggle. You'll hear the moment with my daughters that finally made me change how I parented around tech, why scarcity-based rules ("no phone until you…") create more obsession instead of less, and the exact transition language I use so kids can put a device down without a meltdown. If you've ever felt like you're losing the screen-time battle, I want you to hear this one before you take another phone away.

What Yelling Actually Does to Your Child (And How to Stop) May 12, 2026

Show notes

I was a yeller. Not a "lost it once or twice" yeller, a full-on, scream-in-my-two-year-old's-face yeller. I shamed my oldest daughter. I became her first bully, without meaning to and without wanting to. And I want to share that with you not because I'm proud of it, but because I know how many parents are sitting in that same place right now, exhausted and ashamed, swearing tonight will be different and then losing it again at bedtime.

In this training, I'm walking you through what I had to learn before any of it could change, including the brain science that genuinely scared me into doing the work. You'll hear what yelling actually does to your child's developing brain, why control parenting (bribes, threats, punishment) always backfires, the five daily connection pillars I built into our family rhythm, and a complete in-the-moment toolkit for the seconds before you lose it. And I'll share the one secret tool I gave my own daughters that kept me more accountable than any book or coach ever could.

Stop Playing Referee: How to End Sibling Fights Without Picking a Winner May 05, 2026

Show notes

My daughters fought constantly when they were little, and I tried everything. I separated them. I punished them. I lectured. I bribed. I yelled. Nothing worked, not really. It would stop for twenty minutes and we would be right back at it. What finally changed everything wasn't a new consequence, it was a completely new role.

In this episode, I'm giving you that role. I'm walking you through the full 12-step Sibling Rivalry Protocol I teach inside the Peace and Parenting Community: the exact framework I used to stop being the judge and jury in my house and start being the coach. We'll cover why your instinct to figure out "who started it" is actually extending the fight, why comforting the child who caused the hurt is the move most parents skip, and the makeup story from my own home that took me about two hundred repetitions to get right. Stay with me on this one, the shift is bigger than it sounds.

The 10-Minute Mom: Why Quality Beats Quantity Every Time Apr 28, 2026

Show notes

I have lost count of how many moms have told me they feel like they're failing because they don't have enough time. They're at work all day, running between activities, exhausted by 8pm, and convinced that if they could just carve out a few more hours, they'd finally feel like the mom they want to be. I want to challenge that belief in this episode, because it's quietly costing you the connection you already have access to right now.

The truth is, you don't need more time. You need to stop wasting the windows you already have. In this training, I'm sharing the 10-Minute Mom framework I teach inside the Peace and Parenting Community: a simple structure of three daily connection windows that takes ten minutes total. I'll walk you through the research, the traps that are stealing your presence (the phone vortex, the task takeover, and fixer mode), and the exact words I use with my own daughters.

Empowering Children: Why Obedience Doesn't Keep Kids Safe Apr 21, 2026

Show notes

Most of us were raised to believe that an obedient child is a safe child. I believed it too, for a long time. But the truth is the opposite, and it took me years of parenting and coaching to really see it. A child who is trained to always comply, who learns that disagreement equals punishment, who can't say no at home, is not going to suddenly find their voice when a peer pressures them or an adult crosses a line. They freeze. They give away their lunch. They attract people who take advantage of exactly that.

In this episode, I'll walk you through the steps to raise kids with a real internal compass, not blind obedience, and not disrespect, but something much stronger than both. If you've ever worried about whether your child can advocate for themselves when you're not in the room, this one's for you.

You Can't Parent From Empty Apr 14, 2026

Show notes

I’m back, and I’m coming in honest.

After losing my dad last year, I stepped away from the podcast, my work, and the pressure to keep performing as a parent. In this return episode, I reflect on what three months of cocooning taught me about grief, self-preservation, and the impossible standard we hold ourselves to as parents.

If you've ever pushed through a hard season while secretly falling apart, this one's for you.

Whether you're navigating loss, a life transition, or just a really hard week, this episode is a reminder that your well-being isn't separate from your parenting. It is your parenting.

In this episode, we cover:

👉Why you can't be a great parent when you're running on empty

👉The difference between pushing through and taking care of yourself

👉What your kids are actually learning when they watch you struggle

👉How listening partnerships help parents carry the emotional weight

👉Why prioritizing yourself isn't selfish, it's the whole point

Why Your Child Misbehaves And What To Do Apr 07, 2026

Show notes

Your child isn't "being bad", they're trying to tell you something. In this episode, I break down the five real reasons children misbehave and why the punishments, time-outs, and consequences you've been relying on are actually making behavior worse.

You'll learn my step-by-step framework for responding to any behavior with both connection and limits, plus three quick wins you can start using today. If you're stuck in the yelling-guilt-repeat cycle and nothing seems to work no matter how hard you try, this is the episode that changes everything.

Want an opportunity to get your parenting questions answered by Michelle? Join us live this Thursday at 9:30 am PST

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Remembering My Connected Parenting Partner and Grandfather, Papa Jun 26, 2025

Show notes

Today's episode comes with a heavy heart as I share a very personal update. My beloved father, Papa, recently passed away after a three-year battle with cancer. For those who knew him or followed my posts, you know he was my steadfast parenting partner and confidant, truly embracing connective parenting and becoming an incredible grandfather to my girls. In this tribute, I'll share a eulogy I wrote for him, celebrating his vivacious spirit, fierce determination, and profound transformation later in life.

This episode is not only a heartfelt farewell to an extraordinary man but also an announcement that I'll be taking a break from the podcast and social media to grieve and navigate this new chapter with my family. I am so grateful for your continued listenership and hope you'll check out some of our more than 400 previous episodes.

Thank you for being part of the Peace and Parenting family. I'll see you all very soon.

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

Facebook: @peaceandparentingla

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