Show notes
When I talk to parents of sassy, spirited, and strong-willed children they use one word to describe themselves: exhausted. I can totally relate and I think you can, too. It is a tiring to be a parent of a sassy, spirited, and strong-willed child. First, you have their intense emotions to deal with, then you have the constant disciplining, most likely you also have power struggles, high energy, and button-pushing as well. This can leave ANY parent feeling completely drained.
In today's episode we talk about parent self-care, how critical it is, and the three most important things you need to do to stay sane while raising your sassy, spirited, or strong-willed child.
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Self-care
In case you don't know what self care is, here is a quick definition for you:
Self-care is any activity that you do voluntarily which helps you maintain your physical, mental or emotional health. It can help you feel healthy, relaxed and ready to take on your work and responsibilities.
Why self-care is critical
There are so many reasons self-care is critical.
Taking care of yourself is critical to your mental and physical health. It is what allows you to be the type of parent you want to be. It's also what allows you to feel happy and content even though you are raising a more challenging to raise child.
When you are running low on self-care, it becomes really challenging to care for your kids. You may find yourself being less patient, less engaged, less happy, and a less effective parent all around. While it is SO hard to give yourself permission to care for yourself while there is so much demand on your time, it is absolutely essential for your long-term happiness.
The Three Most Important Things You Must Do to Care for Yourself
Eat well: we need good fuel to be able to keep up with your little sidekicks! Let's face it, they have more energy in their pinky fingers than we do in our entire bodies! If we neglect eating well, we won't be able to keep up, we may get sick, our blood sugar will be low, and we will all be HANGRY! I know that no one wants to be around me when I'm hangry.
Exercise: Ah, the "E" word. Luckily, for self-care you don't need to do anything crazy rigorous to release happy endorphins. Studies show that a daily fifteen minute walk around the block reduces stress, depression, and anxiety. We can all do fifteen minutes. Do yoga, jog, walk, bike, punch a pillow, whatever. Just find something that you love and get moving!
Sleep: Mike talks about this in our episode, but I wanted to add that I went to a conference taught by a neuroscientist, and the studies behind the need for sleep were incredible. Just like exercise, getting adequate hours of sleep can reduce stress, depression, and anxiety significantly. We often cut into our sleeping time staying up late enjoying "no kid" time. I wish we didn't have to choose between adequate sleep and more episodes of This Is Us, but the reality is, we do. And if the scientists were to tell you which would keep you happy longer, they would tell you to ditch the Netflix and go to sleep.
How to Find Pockets of Time for "You Time"
Quiet Time
It's OK to have a designated quiet time everyday. This won't work for everyone's schedule, but if you can make it work for you, do it. Establish a half hour that you teach your child to play on their own while you do something that is strictly self-care. Oh, this is so hard for me. First, getting my child to play on their own is tough, but if you do it consistently you will eventually train them. Second, I have a tough time sitting down to read a book when I have dirty dishes on the counter. However, we now have permission from a therapist to TAKE A BREAK.
Other Pockets of Time
You can also use times when your kids are watching a show, playing with friends, taking a nap, or down for the night to care for yourself.
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