**PCL 99: How to Find Defiant Joy and Make Life Fun** Jan 31, 2019

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**YOUR CUE**

Connect and engage with your children. You set the joyful tone for your kids — you should take this responsibility seriously! When engaging with your child, stop and make eye contact with them, put down your phone, and give them a hug out of the blue. These small ways show your kid that you love them and that you’re attentive to them.

**EPISODE RECAP**
There are so many things we simply accept in our parenting: We accept the sleepless nights, the strained conversations and misunderstandings between us and our kids, the moments everyone tells us we should enjoy but don’t. After awhile, our joy wanes, and with its departure comes more worry, discontentment, and an underlying wonder if this is all parenthood has to offer us.
Is it possible for us to find joy in the mundane, day-to-day tasks of parenthood?
Candace Payne says absolutely.
You may remember our guest, Candace. In 2016, she filmed a four-minute video of her laughing while wearing a Star Wars’ Chewbacca mask. She never intended for the video to be seen by anyone other than her friends, much less become a record holder as the fastest-spread video in YouTube history. And though her video is one to remember, the message Candace shares on her newly-erected platform is one we’re most interested to share with you.
Candace, a wife, mom, author, and speaker spends her days sharing her philosophy on joy, and most particularly, how we can have defiant joy. Defiant joy, Candace shares, is living and acting happily, no matter what life brings you.
As parents, we set the tone for joy in our homes and our children follow our lead. To learn how to shift your perspective from pessimistic to optimistic, how to stay joyful in seasons of change, and other helpful insights, tune in to this week’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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**PCL 98: How to Stay Family-Centered During Busy Life Seasons** Jan 17, 2019

**YOUR CUE**

Be intentional about checking in with your kids. This week, talk intentionally with your kids. What was a win for them this week? What was a loss for them? Get the pulse on where they are now and ask them how you can support them this week.

**EPISODE RECAP**

None of us parents have our stuff together. While some days are better than others, on many days, most of us are just trying to make it to some far-off point, whether it’s to college, the end of a school break, the weekend, or nap time. Parenthood is hard, and if you ask around, you’ll find most mothers and fathers feel like they’re missing the mark somewhere with their kids.

So how do you stay connected when life gets so busy?

Today’s guest, Jeremy Cowart, seems to be in a perpetual state of busyness. Named the “Most Influential Photographer on the Internet” by Huffington Post, Forbes, and Yahoo in 2014, Jeremy has now added to his résumé: speaker, and founder The Purpose Hotel, a planned global for-profit hotel chain that will serve not-for-profit organizations. On top of that, he’s married with four kids.

If Jeremy can manage staying connected to his family when his work life gets crazy, surely we all can, too, right?

The father of four is quick to admit he doesn’t have it all together. What he does do is take every day one at a time while asking himself, “How do I choose my family today?”

For him, that sometimes means skipping out on those trendy, VIP parties he’s invited to and spending the weekend with his family instead. It might also mean bringing one kid with him while he travels so he can get some one-on-one time with them. Or avoiding electronics at the dinner table to ensure quality time.

Want to hear more helpful ideas from Jeremy? You’ll have to tune-in to today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast to hear more!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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**PCL 97: Goal Setting and Your Parenting** Jan 10, 2019

**YOUR CUE**

Ask yourself: “What are some goals I want for my family this month or this year?”

Sometimes, there are goals as simple as getting to bedtime. Other goals are a bit more lofty. Whatever the goal you have for yourself and your family this year, make sure you bring in some reinforcements. Introduce the word “goal” to whomever you do parenting with and get on the same page.

**EPISODE RECAP**

There’s nothing like the start of a new year to inspire us to become the best version of ourselves. Many of us write a laundry list of goals for the new year and often find ourselves disappointed come December. So how do we stop this endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and disappointment year after year? We’ve enlisted help.

Jon Acuff, New York Times bestselling author and speaker, has tackled this topic in his latest book, Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done. Jon says most Americans believe a goal has to be difficult in order for it to count. That’s not true, he says.

So what’s the distinguishing factor between a good goal and a bad goal? Ask yourself this question: What do I hope is the consequence of this goal if it is achieved? The answer, Jon says, will be an instant sign of whether or not the goal matches who you are.

When it comes to our families, we often stop short of setting goals because the day-to-day tasks often keep us with our heads down and focused on what’s directly in front of us. However, goals set for our families help us stay in-tune with the pulse of what’s going on in our family’s daily life and communicates to our kids that they matter.

Also in today’s episode, Jon offers advice to those skeptical about goal setting, how to complete a goal you’ve set, and the importance of fun while setting goals.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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**PCL 96: Single-Parenting through the Holidays** Dec 13, 2018

**YOUR CUE**

This week and over Christmas, be present for the moments that matter, and lower any ridiculous standards you have created for yourself or ones that others have created for you.

**EPISODE RECAP**

Single parents are some of the strongest people on the entire planet. Parenting in and of itself with two parents working together is hard work, and solo parenting creates a whole set of challenges one can never truly prepare for. Add in the complicated, sometimes messy element of the holiday season and it becomes something more to dread than cherish.

During the holidays, a single parent can often feel like they’re under a microscope: Their family dynamic doesn’t quite fit the stereotypical nuclear family of a mom, a dad, kids and a dog, they’re having to make financial decisions they’ve never had to make, and they’re likely in some stage of grieving the future they once dreamed for their family.

As a single mother of two, Nichole Nordeman has struggled with the comparison, the grief, and the unmet expectations of solo parenting. Now 10 years into single parenthood, Nichole has some advice for the single parents out there: Let go of the of what the perfect family and perfect holiday season is “supposed” to look like. Instead of putting undue pressure on yourself to be the perfect parent and to have the perfect holiday season, here’s all that is required of you:

Love your kids.

Let them see you process your emotions in a healthy way so they can feel free to do the same.

Realize you have needs outside of your kids and meet those needs.

Lower the bar of your expectations.

That’s it. Stay away from anything that doesn’t uplift you and encourage you in this incredibly difficult season in your life (and for goodness sake, stay off of Pinterest! No good will come from seeing everyone else’s “perfection”). Make new traditions with your kids instead of trying to force the old ones. Get creative about gift giving. Give yourself time and space to grieve the life you once thought you’d have.

To our listeners who are single parents, we see you, we hear you, and we honor the work you are doing day in and day out for your children. To hear more encouragement, tune into this week’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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**PCL 95: Enjoying Marriage During the Holidays** Dec 13, 2018

**YOUR CUE**

Try the 3:30 rule. In the podcast, Mike Foster shares how the 3:30 rule — three hugs a day, lasting 30 seconds each — will deepen your connection with your spouse through physical touch and the release of serotonin, a hormone and neurotransmitter often called, the “happy chemical.” Serotonin regulates mood, social behavior, and sexual desire among others. Try setting an alarm on your phone as a reminder to do the 3:30 rule.

**EPISODE RECAP**

There’s a popular meme making its rounds on the internet this holiday season: “I firmly believe any time spent with my family over the holidays shouldn’t count as vacation time.”

Every emotion seems to be heightened during the holiday season. Sure, the season is supposed to be filled with happiness, memorable moments, and precious time spent with the ones we love, but for many, the holidays are often a trigger for bad memories and emotions, financial struggles, and relationship issues. Any of this sound familiar?

Maintaining any relationship is hard, and will be even harder to do during the holidays. Mike Foster, an author, speaker, host of the Fun Therapy podcast, says he and his wife, Jennifer, started to notice a trend amongst their friends and acquaintances with 20-year-old marriages: Once their teenage kids went off to college, their marriages crumbled. Why? Because the couples spent most of their energy strategically pouring into their kids and not into their marriage.

Increasing togetherness

The goal for couples, Mike says, is not to fix your problems. The goal is to increase your togetherness. Creating and maintaining the connection of being together will not eliminate your problems, but it will strengthen your marriage enough to help you face any problems you have together.

So how does that work exactly? Especially for couples who have complicated situations, from second marriages to growing resentment to new parents? The key is carving out time, Mike says. Depending on what life stage you’re in, you might not have a whole lot of it, but it doesn’t take much. Mike encourages couples to carve out as little as 20-30 minutes a week where you can just be a couple. During that time, don’t talk about the kids, about politics, or anything else other than what you’re grateful for, and your dreams and future goals.

To kickstart your journey to togetherness, Mike and his wife, Jennifer, have created Five Dates, a workbook to help deepen connection in dating, engaged, and married couples. You can find more information about it here.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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**PCL 94: Navigating the Dangers of Online Connection** Dec 06, 2018

**YOUR CUE**

Write down one thing you fear about your kids and technology and one thing you’ll do to proactively combat that fear.

**EPISODE RECAP**

As much as we all enjoy the internet and can’t imagine our lives without it, as parents, we all feel a bit uneasy about it, too. With the world at our kids’ fingertips through the use of smartphones and other internet-based devices, sometimes, it feels like our hands are tied when it comes to protecting our kids from the dangers of the internet.

This is why today’s conversation is so important and so relevant — studies show suicide and depression among our teens is at an all-time high thanks to the pressures of social media and the feeling that they can’t quite measure up to the lives of others. And for parents of younger kids, you’re not exempt from the dangers either — internet access is exposing kids of all ages to things we got exposed to once we were well into adulthood.

So how do we protect our kids from the dangers that lurk online? Well, today’s guests share their insights on this very topic. Today, we’re joined by Titania Jordan, chief parent officer at Bark, an app that helps adults keep kids safe online across various social platforms; Dave Adamson, a photographer and social media and online pastor at North Point Community Church; and Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Youth Institute

We’ve got to remember our kids are grappling with their identity, where they belong, and what their sense of purpose is. While social media gives positive answers to these three questions, it also answers them negatively, plummeting our kids’ self-worth and increasing their sense of self-doubt. Because social media and the internet are so easy to get addicted to, it’s not uncommon for our kids to become defined by technology.

There’s one thing today’s podcast guests all agree parents can do right now: Start having conversations with your kids about who they’re talking to online, what they’re seeing, how they’re responding to it all. Some of these conversations will be hard, but we want our kids to come to us first with the hard stuff, especially since their peers aren’t mature enough to handle the weightiness of tough situations.

For more insight, tune into this week’s episode, the final installment of our three-part technology series on the Parent Cue Live podcast!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind-boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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**PCL 93: When is the Right Time to Give My Kid a Cell Phone?** Nov 29, 2018

**YOUR CUE**
Think preparedness over protection. Maintain the mindset that you’re preparing your child for technology versus protecting them from it. One day soon, your child will have free reign of technology without your guidance. You want to make sure your child is mature enough to handle that responsibility when they’re not with you. Have conversations with your kid about the good and bad sides of technology, and how its use (and overuse) can impact their lives..
**EPISODE RECAP**
The truth is, our kids will never know a world without technology in it, and at the heart of this constantly connected, ever-evolving world is the cell phone.
For some of us, the idea of giving our kids a cell phone seems a ways off, but the time is coming faster than you think. These days, kids are getting phones earlier and earlier, and with busy school and extracurricular schedules, sometimes a cell phone seems to be the only way parents can keep everything together.

So this week, we’re talking specifically about cell phones and how to introduce them to your kids (And here’s a hint: You need a plan). When you give your kid a cell phone, everything changes and some important conversations need to be had in hopes your children handle this new responsibility with maturity. With a phone in their hands, our kids’ worlds instantly expand, letting in the good and not so good parts we’ve tried to shelter them from.

Today, we hear the wisdom of Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Youth Institute, and Tom Shefchunas, a former coach, teacher, and principal who has worked with students for more than 20 years. Kara talks to listeners about her personal experience of when she and her husband gave their kids a cell phone, the boundaries they set around its use, and the good sides and downsides of introducing a new cell phone user into the family. Tom gives us his perspective on cell phones as a dad and someone who has led middle schoolers during the height of smartphone usage, how to prepare yourself as a parent as you enter this new phase, and signs to look for to know if your child is ready for the responsibility of a cell phone.

If you’re in the stage right now with your kids, you’ll want to take a listen to this week’s episode, and if you’re not quite there yet, grab your pen and notebook and get ready to take some notes — you’ll be here sooner than you think!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.
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**PCL 92: Technology Series: How to Navigate Healthy Online Engagement (Part 1)** Nov 21, 2018

**YOUR CUE**

Have a direct conversation with your kids about technology. Ask them questions about what they think about what they’re viewing online and how it’s affecting their lives. Keep an open mind and remain judgment-free — we want our kids to share their thoughts instead of shutting down.

**EPISODE RECAP**
Let’s face it: As parents, we’re in way over our heads when it comes to technology and how to help our kids navigate it in a healthy way. Heck, we’re all trying to learn how to set some personal boundaries with technology for ourselves — how many nights this week did you spend aimlessly scrolling instead of getting to bed on time?
When we were our kids’ age, we didn’t have nearly as much access to technology — we had Super Mario Brothers and Sonic the Hedgehog on our Sega Game Gear, and if we were lucky, our parents would take us to our friend’s house if they achieved a higher level while playing the game. Now, there’s so much more to contend with: Our kids have the internet (cue ominous music). There’s so much they’re able to access right at their fingertips and if you think about it too long, it’s a little scary.

This is why today’s conversation is so important because there is so much at stake. According to research, technology is both speeding up our kids’ development while simultaneously slowing it down. Our kids are spending more time on websites and apps designed for adults, thus getting exposed to things way beyond their years, yet at the same time, are developing slower socially — because they’re so plugged in, they’re not learning social skills as fast.

First, we hear from Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Youth Institute. A mother of three, Kara talks about how our kids are wrestling with three big questions: Who am I? Where do I fit? And what difference do I make? Answers to these questions are often shaped by technology and she discusses why boundaries with technology are important to establish with your family.

Next, we hear wisdom from Jelani Memory, CCO and co-founder of Circle Media, Inc., the company behind Circle with Disney, a device that helps parents enforce rules and restrictions on technology in their homes. Jelani, a father of six, helped create the device with his kids in mind — he wanted his kids to be able to get the most out of technology rather than getting the worst from it. He shares his ideas behind the concept and some common concerns parents have when it comes to their kids and technology.

Finally, we hear from speaker and entrepreneur, Matt McKee. A father of two, Matt challenges our way of thinking about technology: Instead of solely viewing technology as something to battle over with our kids, how about we see it as a means to help our kids express their creativity? Matt shares what it looks like to have a healthy relationship with technology and ways to approach a technology conversation with your kids at every phase.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind-boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.
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Parenting in a Tech World — **PCL 92: Technology Series: How to Navigate Healthy Online Engagement (Part 1)** Nov 21, 2018

**YOUR CUE**

Have a direct conversation with your kids about technology. Ask them questions about what they think about what they’re viewing online and how it’s affecting their lives. Keep an open mind and remain judgment-free — we want our kids to share their thoughts instead of shutting down.

**EPISODE RECAP**
Let’s face it: As parents, we’re in way over our heads when it comes to technology and how to help our kids navigate it in a healthy way. Heck, we’re all trying to learn how to set some personal boundaries with technology for ourselves — how many nights this week did you spend aimlessly scrolling instead of getting to bed on time?
When we were our kids’ age, we didn’t have nearly as much access to technology — we had Super Mario Brothers and Sonic the Hedgehog on our Sega Game Gear, and if we were lucky, our parents would take us to our friend’s house if they achieved a higher level while playing the game. Now, there’s so much more to contend with: Our kids have the internet (cue ominous music). There’s so much they’re able to access right at their fingertips and if you think about it too long, it’s a little scary.

This is why today’s conversation is so important because there is so much at stake. According to research, technology is both speeding up our kids’ development while simultaneously slowing it down. Our kids are spending more time on websites and apps designed for adults, thus getting exposed to things way beyond their years, yet at the same time, are developing slower socially — because they’re so plugged in, they’re not learning social skills as fast.

First, we hear from Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Youth Institute. A mother of three, Kara talks about how our kids are wrestling with three big questions: Who am I? Where do I fit? And what difference do I make? Answers to these questions are often shaped by technology and she discusses why boundaries with technology are important to establish with your family.

Next, we hear wisdom from Jelani Memory, CCO and co-founder of Circle Media, Inc., the company behind Circle with Disney, a device that helps parents enforce rules and restrictions on technology in their homes. Jelani, a father of six, helped create the device with his kids in mind — he wanted his kids to be able to get the most out of technology rather than getting the worst from it. He shares his ideas behind the concept and some common concerns parents have when it comes to their kids and technology.

Finally, we hear from speaker and entrepreneur, Matt McKee. A father of two, Matt challenges our way of thinking about technology: Instead of solely viewing technology as something to battle over with our kids, how about we see it as a means to help our kids express their creativity? Matt shares what it looks like to have a healthy relationship with technology and ways to approach a technology conversation with your kids at every phase.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind-boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.
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**PCL 91: Our Adoption Story** Nov 15, 2018

**YOUR CUE**

No matter how easy or difficult the process is, adoption is hard. During the process, lean into your community, stay united with your spouse, and keep reminding yourself of the reason why you’re adopting in the first place.

**EPISODE RECAP**

Meet Adriana and Jamie…

The car ride home after the devastating news of their infertility is one the two would never forget. There were tears — of course there were tears — but laughter? Laughter was out of place.
Years before — before dating, before real jobs, before marriage, before 14 months of failed attempts to get pregnant — both Jamie and Adriana knew one day, whether or not they had biological children of their own, they would adopt a child. Early on, they both felt God had put on their hearts to extend their love to an unwanted child. Learning of their infertility was bittersweet because now they knew the exact road to take: Their infertility provided clarity.

*“This turned out to be a true expression of God: Caring for someone who doesn’t have anyone to care for them,*” Jamie shares.
So the couple began the process of domestic adoption expecting it to be terrible, really. But you know what? It hasn’t been terrible. It has actually be surprisingly pleasant. Though they have not completed the adoption process, they remain hopeful and expectant of the child who awaits them. Their story is one of hope and heart transformation.

Meet Kim and Ben…

Four children felt like the perfect amount for Ben and Kim’s family. It always has. But after birthing three, Kim didn’t want to birth a fourth, yet there was still a vacancy for the fourth child she was meant to love. They didn’t know it at the time, but their fourth child awaited them in Colombia and the journey to bring the child into the fold would be an arduous, yet rewarding one.

*“Adoption will wreck you in the best ways possible,” Kim says.*
With a community to support them and the right questions asked and answered, Ben and Kim decided international adoption suited them best. But once their child, a seven-year-old boy named Carlos, stepped foot on American soil, another type of challenge began: How do you acclimate a child to an unfamiliar culture? How do you overcome a language barrier while speaking to the heart of the child? Their story is one of patience, resilience, and community.

Meet Carlos…

Carlos and his wife, Heather, were at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert when the singer mentioned Show Hope, the artist’s adoption aid program. The two had discussed adoption before, but hearing the message sealed it for them.

But that was 13 years ago, an age before fast WiFi and when information on adoption was hard to come by. They became discouraged about halfway through the process and thought about giving up, but provision came in the form of a grant that allowed them to travel to South Korea and ultimately bring home their new, seven-month-old son, Losiah.

For Carlos and Heather, the early days were easiest. But now, Losiah, who is nearing the age of 13, is asking some hard questions about his birth home, what it means to look and act differently from his family and community, and explaining adoption to his friends. Though Losiah feels like a birth son to Carlos and Heather, Losiah’s experience is very different, as he questions his identity and his place in life. This is a story about what to do when there are no easy answers and how to find joy in the hard moments of the adoption journey.

There are various sides to adoption. No matter where you are, we at Parent Cue Live hope you find some comfort and hope in the adoption journey ahead. We can’t wait for you to tune in to this episode of the podcast.

Got a particular question about parenthood or grandparenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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**PCL 90: Does Church Really Matter for Your Family?** Nov 07, 2018

**YOUR CUE**

There are five things Reggie Joiner shares in today’s podcast that parents can do to be more intentional at home — meet people, add experiences, prioritize time, identify needs, and talk together (MAP IT). Today’s CUE is simple: Download the free printable that asks you one question related to one of these five areas to help you be a more intentional parent this year.
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**EPISODE RECAP**

We’ve all had seasons in our lives where we just didn’t feel the desire to go to church. Whether you had a church experience that left a bad taste in your mouth or you had a time in your life when you felt confused about God and whether or not He had any real purpose in your life, times will come when you question the importance of church.

We get it. We also aren’t in a position to judge — all of us on the Parent Cue podcast team have felt this way at one time or another.

But as parents who have been raised in church or who got introduced to church later in life, we’re preoccupied with a lot of things when it comes to our kids, and their faith is a big one on our lists. You might be wondering whether or not church is relevant to your family.

You and the local church

Ask any parent if they think they have this whole parenthood thing down and most will respond with an emphatic, “Absolutely not!” This generation of parents are some of the most lonely, stressed, and overwhelmed, often asking themselves questions such as, “Is my kid doing OK? Am I doing OK as a parent?” A Google search does nothing to quell their sense of hopelessness and often, parents don’t know where to turn for help.

The Church used to be that place. And the Church can be that place still.

But it seems like the Church’s reputation is only getting worse — a quick search on the Internet yields all kinds of cringeworthy results that seem to drive a wedge between the church and the community its meant to serve.

If done correctly, the church in your community can serve as one of your greatest parenting resources. Parenthood was never meant to be done alone — not only do our kids need positive adult relationships (outside of their parents), but us parents need that community, too.

With the help of the Church, parents can learn how to use everyday moments to be more intentional with their kids, building them up to be successful adults. Together with the Church, parents can be more intentional at home by:

Meeting people.
Adding experiences.
Prioritizing time.
Identifying the needs of their kids.
Talking together.

Wondering how you’ll ever remember all of these things? Just remember the acronym MAP IT. MAP IT helps us take the focus off the things we can’t control and put our focus back on the things we can.

Tune in to today’s podcast to hear more wisdom about the MAP IT areas and how you can better serve your children with the help of your local church.

Got a particular question about parenthood or grandparenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

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Hopefully, this episode has helped you find a few practical ways to “do family better.” If you appreciated it, we would love for you to rate or review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Your rating and review help get the podcast in front of new parents and listeners. You can also click the buttons below to share this episode on your own social media channels. Thank you for listening!
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**PCL 89: What To Do When Your Kid Doesn’t Believe in God Anymore** Nov 01, 2018

**YOUR CUE**

Listen to the behaviors of your kids. Sometimes your children are feeling things they don’t have the words to explain and it’s our jobs to explore those feelings and support them. Stay in tune with your kids behaviors and emotions and start a conversation with them whenever something seems amiss.

Empower your kids. Try not to fight every battle for your kids, but instead embolden them to fight their battles themselves. Help them come to their own conclusions on how to solve the situation.

Help your kids identify who their biggest fans are. Our children need support and need to know they are loved despite any circumstances they may be facing. Remind them who are in their support system and remind them they are not alone.

**Write down this reminder on a card or sticky note**: I’m going to parent with our future relationship in mind.

**EPISODE RECAP**

You’ve seen your child drifting for awhile now.

At first, they were skipping out on church service and small group meetings every once in awhile, but the weeks continued to stretch on. Now, you can’t even remember the last time your kid went to church. Was it Easter? Christmas?

Then, you hear the words you’ve been dreading your entire life as a Christian parent.

“Hey, mom? Dad? I don’t think I believe in God anymore.”

The Deconversion of Young Adults

We’re going to venture a guess here and say we believe most of our listeners are concerned about the faith of their children. From infancy, we’ve worked tirelessly as Christian parents to instill both big and small moments in our kids’ lives to share the God we believe in—in hopes they develop a relationship with God for themselves. However, there’s a growing number of young adults who are cutting ties with Christianity altogether, leaving parents heartbroken and dumbfounded.

Andy Stanley, senior pastor of North Point Community Church, has been studying this very topic—the deconversion of our youth. The fundamental reason why young adults are walking away from their faith at alarming rates, he says, is due to their characterization of faith, whether it be a bad church experience or a biblical contradiction, rather than essential truth of Christianity itself.

“When people turn their backs on Christianity, they’re usually turning their backs on the version of Christianity they grew up with,” Andy shares.

So what’s a parent to do when their kid says they don’t believe in God anymore?

Andy says the answer is really simple: Do very little.

This is as delicate time when your child is questioning not only their beliefs, but who they are as well. Andy encourages parents to be extremely curious. Ask questions without passing judgement or sharing your opinions. If they want you to read an article or a book that backs their current beliefs, read what they give you. Your interest will show that you respect them and love them unconditionally. And above all, listen quietly and show your children love.

There is so much to unpack in this episode with Andy Stanley, and we’re happy to tackle a topic that burdens the hearts of so many of our listeners. Be sure to tune in to hear what Andy’s No. 1 parenting rule is in his household and more advice he has for parents of children with wavering faith. Got a particular question about parenting or grandparenting that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

**MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE**
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**Did you enjoy this episode? Help us spread the word!**

Hopefully, this episode has helped you find a few practical ways to “do family better.” If you appreciated it, we would love for you to rate or review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Your rating and review help get the podcast in front of new parents and listeners. You can also click the buttons below to share this episode on your own social media channels. Thank you for listening!
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**PCL 88: What Every Son Needs to Hear from His Father** Oct 25, 2018

**GIVEAWAY**
Enter to win a Champion Tribes Experience ENTER HERE
**YOUR CUE**

Tell your son, “I love you.” This may seem a bit superfluous, especially if you’re the type to express your love often, but sometimes we all need a little reminder. Many parents of today were raised by fathers who didn’t hear they were loved very often, and habits are often passed down through the generations. This is the single most important thing your son needs to hear from you, so say it often. They need to know they are loved, respected, and cherished at all times.

Get to know your kids’ love language. It’s one thing to tell your kid you love them, and it’s another to show them. Take Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” quiz to determine how your son interprets love and act accordingly.

Parent in the small moments. Use meal times, car ride times, and bedtimes to pour into your son emotionally, asking questions and speaking truth over their lives. As your son gets older, the moments of heartfelt conversations may be few and far in between, so use these moments to get in some quality time.

**EPISODE RECAP**
Everyone needs a hero, and for boys—especially those who are middle school aged—their dad has the potential to be their greatest hero of all, guiding and shaping the way they will ultimately view manhood.
If this sounds like a heavy responsibility, it’s because it is—the middle school years have proven quite critical, especially for boys on the horizon of manhood. They’re asking serious questions about their identity and forming bonds with others who will ultimately play a part in who they will become. But it’s also a time when boys at this age begin talking less and creating more distance between themselves and their parents. So what’s a parent to do?

Express love

Nick Salyers is a co-founder of Champion Tribes. This is a program that equips fathers with the necessary tools they need to position themselves as not only their son’s most trusted ally but to also include a group of trusted mentors to guide sons along their journey toward manhood.

Though Nick isn’t a dad, he is the product of an intentional father, David, who leaned into their relationship even further when Nick was 12 years old. Now 24, Nick shares some of the moments that stick out to him most and discusses the lasting impact those moments left on him even through adulthood.

Many fathers today can’t remember a time when their own fathers told them or showed them how much they meant to them. But that’s what’s missing, Nick says. We need more fathers today who will continuously remind their sons of their love for them. If fathers start a new trend in this way, Nick explains, fathers can tap into their potential to shape the next generations to come.

You don’t want to miss this important episode. In it, Nick shares just how important mentors are to the process of raising boys, why rites of passage should be extended to the transition from boyhood to manhood, and the exact thing every son should hear from his dad. And as a special treat, we’re giving away a Champion Tribes program to one lucky listener!

You can learn more about that by clicking here.

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been mind-boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

**MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE**
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**PCL 87: What To Do When Kids Are Mean: An Episode On Bullying** Oct 18, 2018

**How to listen**: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Sissy Goff, director of child and adolescent counseling at Daystar, a kids and family counseling center in Tennessee, joins host, Carlos Whittaker, to talk about bullying, what it means in today’s age, and how we can help our kids navigate it in today’s episode of the Parent Cue Live podcast.

**YOUR CUE**

Listen to the behaviors of your kids. Sometimes your children are feeling things they don’t have the words to explain and it’s our jobs to explore those feelings and support them. Stay in tune with your kids behaviors and emotions and start a conversation with them whenever something seems amiss.

Empower your kids. Try not to fight every battle for your kids, but instead embolden them to fight their battles themselves. Help them come to their own conclusions on how to solve the situation.

Help your kids identify who their biggest fans are. Our children need support and need to know they are loved despite any circumstances they may be facing. Remind them who the people are in their support system and remind them they are not alone.

**EPISODE RECAP**

October is National Bullying Prevention Month in the United States, and it’s a great reminder for parents to pause each year and consider the effect bullying may have on our kids or kids we know. Whether it’s a direct reality in our families, or simply something you’ve always worried about experiencing with your kids down the road, bullying is something we must all pay special attention to.

Because this is such an important topic, we are so glad we had the opportunity to sit down for a chat with Sissy Goff, director of child and adolescent counseling at Daystar, a kids and family counseling center in Tennessee. Sissy has dedicated her life’s work to researching and addressing anxiety, depression, bullying, and everything in between in kids and adolescents.

Signs parents overlook and how to address them

As parents, we sometimes overlook the signs our kids may be showing that tell us they’re being bullied at school. These signs include withdrawal from everyday activities, coming home a little more quieter than usual, and heightened anxiety on the evening before school resumes. Many times, our kids don’t have the words to express what’s weighing heavily on their hearts, and it’s up to the parents to listen to the behaviors of their kids and interpret their feelings.

That likely feels like a tall order, right? It’s natural if you feel this way. Thankfully, we have our friend, Sissy, share with us exactly what our next steps should be if we suspect our kids are being bullied at school:

Equip your kids with strength and kindness.

We must teach our children how to enforce their personal boundaries in a kind way, especially in the face of bullies. If they’re being bullied on the playground, for instance, you can encourage them to say, “I want to play with you, but I’m not going to if you continue to talk to me that way.”

Teach your kids how to handle conflict appropriately.

Since bullying is such a sensitive topic these days, parents tend to jump at the chance to end it quickly. However, Sissy says parents’ interference may be preventing kids from learning how to handle conflict well. It’s our role as parents to coach our kids to handle things themselves as much as they can and asking for help when necessary.

**Empathize**.

Being a kid is tough, and they’re dealing with some pretty hard stuff. Lead with questions and grace.

There’s so much to unpack in this episode, you don’t want to miss it. Sissy Goff also talks about what to do when your kid is the bully, how to address cyberbullying, and how to talk to another adult who has a kid you suspect is a bully. We can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been on your mind? We want to hear it! Click here.

**MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE**
Buy Now Raising Boys and Girls Books by Sissy Goff
The post PCL 87: What To Do When Kids Are Mean: An Episode On Bullying appeared first on Parent Cue.

**PCL 86: How to Build Your Kid’s Confidence Through Self-Love** Oct 04, 2018

**How to listen**: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Eryn Eddy, a social entrepreneur, speaker, and art director, joins host, Kristen Ivy, to talk about how self love radically boosts confidence in our children.

**YOUR CUE**

Help your kids face the pain of a first failure or rejection. First heartbreaks take root in us. However, if left unconfronted, that rejection starts to alter how we view ourselves. So take the opportunity of your child’s failure or rejection to teach them the importance of acknowledging these challenges instead of leaning away from them. Dealing with them in a healthy way promotes healthy self worth.

Learn to love yourself so you can love your children well. If you don’t love yourself wholeheartedly, it will be nearly impossible to have the capacity to love those around you, including your children. Self love begins when you believe you’re worthy of love.

Stay present. We often see our children through the lens of what needs to be fixed. Eryn Eddy encourages us to stay in the moment with our kids, and compliment a value you see in them.

**EPISODE RECAP**

Our kids arguably have it much harder than us in many ways — they’re dealing with stuff now that wasn’t even created when we were their age. Today’s kids’ confidence is often influenced heavily by outside forces we wish we could control but can’t — social media and peer groups. As a result, our kids often feel stressed out and like they can’t measure up.

But us parents know just how critical confidence is to the growing up process, so we’re all intent on raising confident kids. But how?

On today’s episode, we talk to Eryn Eddy, founder of So Worth Loving, a lifestyle clothing brand that aims to remind people they are valuable and worthy of love. Since adolescence, Eryn has had one mission imprinted on her heart — to encourage people to see themselves for who they truly are.

So of course it was only fitting we talk to Eryn about such an important topic as nurturing confidence in our kids, especially as they get older. At the heart of diminished self worth, Eryn says, is when both kids and adults don’t face the pain of their first rejection or failure head on.

You don’t want to miss this relevant, heartfelt episode, parents. If you’ve been wondering how to keep your kids confidence in tact, how to properly handle when your kids do something you don’t agree with, and how to help your kids become the best version of themselves, tune in!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

**MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE**
So Worth Loving Dear Body Parent Cue Live Event Parent Cue Live Facebook community Giveaway
**QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE**

*If people knew they weren’t alone, they would be able to see themselves as God sees them.”*
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*“You can’t love another person wholeheartedly until you love yourself.” —@ErynEddy*
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*“Our children need the message of acceptance and value over and over again.” —@ErynEddy*
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*“To become better versions of ourselves, sometimes we need to deconstruct.” —@ErynEddy*
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*“Trust that God is going to create something beautiful out of the chaos.” —@kristen_ivy*
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The post PCL 86: How to Build Your Kid’s Confidence Through Self-Love appeared first on Parent Cue.

PCL 84: How to Raise Motivated Kids Sep 20, 2018

YOUR CUE

Communicate your family’s values. Your kids can begin to shift from extrinsic motivators to intrinsic ones when you, as a parent, communicate why the task or behavior is important to the family as a whole. When a kid understands they’re a part of something bigger than themselves, your family’s value system becomes their personal value system.
Get to know your kids. One of your kids may be extrinsically motivated while the other naturally leans toward intrinsic motivation. Know who your kids are at their core, and it’ll help you tailor how you approach this whole motivation thing. One of your kids may be motivated by things, while the other is motivated by fun and quality time. Notice the differences and act accordingly.
Focus on the season you’re in and prioritize accordingly. Ask yourself, “Why am I hyper-focused on my child completing this particular task I’m asking them to do?” Sometimes, we’ll find our requests are selfishly motivated. Take a step back and away from perfection and focus on one thing you can do this week or month to help nurture motivation in your kids.

EPISODE RECAP

As parents, we all want to raise motivated kids who will one day grow up to be adults with great work ethics and values. Sometimes, however, we do things that undermine the ultimate goal of having motivated kids by focusing on short-term outcomes.

On today’s episode, we hear from Dan Scott, a father of four, ranging from high schoolers to an elementary-aged child. Together with our podcast host, Kristen Ivy, the two share their personal stories on what it’s like to motivate kids in the preschool, elementary, middle school, and high school phases. They also discuss how to encourage healthy habits in kids (and discourage unhealthy ones), and how parents should be aware that our hyper-focused requests for that loaded dishwasher or cleaned bedroom to be done perfectly may actually be detrimental to our kids’ motivation growth.

Even more, they answer questions such as:

How do I help my kids move from extrinsic motivation (money and other reward-based prizes) to becoming more intrinsically motivated?
How do I fairly motivate kids who have different personality types?
What are the types of motivators and how can I use them to help my kid grow?

We can’t wait for you to dive into this subject with us. If you found after listening to the podcast that you’ve got another question about parenting, we want to hear it! Click here to ask your question and you might hear it answered on the podcast.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Dan Scott Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively

YOUR CUE

Let your kid lose. When our kids are younger, we think it’s cute to let them win games most of the time. Stop doing this. Your kid needs to know there are times they will win, and times they will lose. When your child loses while you’re around, you can help them process these emotions in a constructive, mature (for their age) way. If they don’t ever lose, they’ll always expect to win, which doesn’t happen in real life.
Let it go. Release the notion that perfection is right around the corner. It’s not. Allow your kids to do the tasks you want them to do on their own one day, even if it’s not done to your standards. They’re practicing, and practicing leads to growth. Allow your kids to be who they are while they’re learning.
Start a gratitude journal. We can think of hundreds of things we’ve done wrong in our lifetimes, but rarely do we celebrate the good things we’ve done. Dr. Tillman suggests parents start a gratitude journal and write down all the things you did well that day. She says when you reflect on the things you do well, you’re bound to repeat them.

EPISODE RECAP

It’s natural for parents to want to protect their children from harm, whether it be from physical, emotional, or relational pain. But too much protection can lead us to raising our kids in the opposite way we truly desire, and if left unchecked, an abundance of protection can cause a lack of self confidence and an inability to handle adversity in our kids.

Dr. Deborah Tillman, a child development and parent educator, and Lifetime’s “America’s Supernanny” has seen countless cases where parents thought they were being a good parent by overly cushioning their children’s fall (even she says she fell victim to this with her now 25-year-old son). She strongly discourages this, in fact, she says parents should let their children fail more. When a child does something on their own, even if they fail, it’s a chance for them to learn and grow.

Now, for the perfectionist parent, this advice will likely cause a mild spasm of some kind—the age-old adage, “If you want something done right, do it yourself,” is a motto most perfectionists live by. Do it to your own detriment, Dr. Tillman warns. Many times, your kids’ growth starts with an inward look at yourself and some self reflection on why you view parenthood the way you do and if that view is indeed what’s best for your child.

Today’s episode is full of helpful—and at times, convicting—advice to help you better parent your child and increase their self reliance. Tune in!

Got a particular question about parenthood or grandparenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

A Perfect Pet for Peyton: A 5 Love Languages Discovery Book

QUOTES IN THIS EPISODE

“Self-reliant kids are responsible, can problem solve, and can independently think.” @DeborahLTillman
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“We can show our children the way, but we must allow them to be who they are created to be.” @DeborahLTillman
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It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” Frederick Douglass
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Time to a child is spelled, “L-O-V-E.” —@DeborahLTillman
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The post PCL 83: How To Raise Self-Reliant Kids appeared first on Parent Cue.

PCL 82: Bridging the Gap Between the Home and the Classroom Sep 06, 2018

How to listen: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | SoundCloud | TuneIn

Host Carlos Whittaker and former Overall Teacher of the Year of Fulton County Schools, Pamela Padak, talk together about how parents and teachers can partner together to strengthen their relationship for the sake of their students.

YOUR CUE

Ask your students questions. The best way to engage your child is to ask open-ended, clarifying questions about their day. Their answers will not only give you insight into what happened when you were apart from each other, but will also give you something to talk about with their teacher.
Read what teachers send home. Teachers send emails so parents can keep up to date on what’s happening with their student. Read this! Not only will it keep you in the loop and decrease teacher frustration, but it’ll also allow you to have a more rich conversation with your kid about their school life.
Give teachers feedback. As parents, we’re quick to send feedback when something goes wrong. But how often do we send feedback when things go well? Send a quick email or text to your child’s teacher telling them how much you appreciate something small they did this week in your child’s classroom. They’ll be appreciative!

EPISODE RECAP

Here’s the thing: There aren’t many people who will spend as much time with your kid than their teacher does. With that in mind, it pays to have a positive relationship with the person who will be pouring so many hours into our children when they’re not in our care.

It’s not uncommon, however, for there to be tension between teachers and parents. Parents often find themselves frustrated by the amount of homework sent home (I mean, come on! Don’t they know how many sports practices my kid has each week?). Teacher sometimes get annoyed when parents aren’t as engaged as they’d like them to be (Would it kill you to open and read the emails we send?). There’s often miscommunication on both sides, leading to mutual frustration that don’t benefit the student.

So we were happy to sit down and talk to Pamela Padak, teacher-turned-assistant-vice-principal, who knows all too well the benefit of a healthy, functional relationship between parent and teacher. Voted Overall Teacher of the Year of Atlanta, Ga.’s Fulton County Schools during the 2012-2013 school year, Pamela shares ways parents can stay engaged at school no matter how much time they have, how to build a relationship with teachers by simply sending an email, and how parents can build positive connections with their kids. Tune in to this week’s episode and let us know what you think!

Got a particular question about parenthood that’s been particularly mind boggling? We want to hear it! Click here