Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal &#8211; Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Josh

Josh’s youtube page - Kingdom INSights Ministries - Apostle Joshua Poro

NIV Application Bible

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Week 14: Godly friendship - Jonathan Dec 08, 2025

Show notes

Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God. (1 Samuel 23:16 NLT)

Jonathan and David were opposites and unlikely friends, but their friendship was so strong that it continues to be cited as a prime example of a God-honoring friendship to this day. Jonathan had every reason to feel envious of David: Jonathan was heir to the throne, yet God chose David to be king. Jonathan even risked his life to protect David from his father and strengthen David in the Lord when he needed it.

Jonathan was a selfless and loyal friend who continually pointed David back to God. No doubt, God placed Jonathan in David’s life for a reason. He knew that David would need a friend to strengthen him in his role, his confidence, and his faith.

Friendships come and go, and the friends our kids have right now may or may not be their friends in the future. There is a time and place for temporary friendships—friendships that are fun and fulfilling and safe, but don’t stand the test of time for one reason or another. It’s the lifelong friendships that are sacred. The friendships where you know the other person is with you no matter what and will challenge you to be a better person and a more faithful Christ follower. Our desire as parents should be that our kids have at least one of those friends.

This week, let’s pray that our kids are not fair-weather friends. Let’s pray that they are committed, loyal, selfless friends who strengthen their friends’ faith in God. And let’s pray they find those same friends in return.

Father God, please help __________ to be a God-honoring and good friend to others. Help them to say no to jealousy, gossip, and comparison and yes to compassion, encouragement, and joy in their friendships. Help them to find friends who sharpen and strengthen their faith in you and may you be the center of all their relationships. Amen.

If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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My Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity with Boyd Bailey Dec 04, 2025

Show notes

Did you know that once a month we are doing a mentor episode? We will cover a different topic each month in hopes to provide helpful content for you and your local mentor.

1) listen to the episode

2) talk about it with a mentor or friend that is a season ahead of you

If you’re just getting started - don’t miss the first few episodes:

My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship Matters
My Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with God
My Virtual Mentor: Personalities and Temperaments

If you have been around this podcast for any length of time, you know that I am passionate about generosity. I was raised in a home that lived out their faith with generosity. The biblical concept of generosity and stewardship is one that gives meaning and purpose to my daily life. It’s been so fun to pass down this legacy of generosity to my kids and watch them step into this way of life.

Today, I have the absolute honor of interviewing Boyd Bailey. Boyd is the President of the National Christian Foundation (NCF) in Georgia. He is also the author of several books, including his latest, The Power of Generosity: Experiencing God’s Amazing Abundance - How to Change the World Through Acts of Kindness.

My favorite part is when he shares a GREAT idea. He gives his grandkids money at Thanksgiving and they come back together at Christmas to talk about what they did with the money and time. What a fantastic tradition! I am 100% doing this.

Enjoy!

Chapters:

(00:00) Introduction and Personal Connection

(02:00) Boyd's Current Endeavors and Family Involvement

(04:06) Understanding Stewardship and Generosity

(10:03) Practical Generosity in Family Life

(18:03) Hearing from God and Spiritual Growth

(22:01) Benefits of Generosity in Relationships

(24:58) The Impact of Generosity on Family Dynamics

(29:07) The Power of Generosity Book Overview

MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (INTIMACY WITH GOD)

Scripture to memorize:

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

Scriptures for prayer and study:

Matthew 6:19-21

Matthew 5:14-15

I Timothy 6:7

Matthew 25:23

Books for further study:

The Power of Generosity by Boyd Bailey

A Life Well Spent by Russ Crosson

Love Your Life Not Theirs – Rachel Cruze

The Truth About Money Lies – Russ Crosson

Discussion questions:

Did your parents teach you about the concept of stewardship?

Are you aligned on finances with your spouse?

Where have you seen generosity impact your own life?

What are some practical ways you can practice generosity in this season?

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

National Christian Foundation

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Boyd

The Power of Generosity - Boyd’s latest book

Wisdom Hunters

Saving Susan

Light ‘Em Up Acts - Courtney’s act of kindness program

Winshape Marriage Retreats

Center for Relational Care

Super Simple Science with Dr. Fizzlebop

NIV Application Bible

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Week 13: Prayerful - Hannah Dec 01, 2025

Show notes

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord. (1 Samuel 1:27–28)

Hannah wanted a child more than anything else. During Old Testament times, the most important thing a woman could give to a husband was a child, specifically a son. Not having any children was considered a curse and a disgrace, maybe even a result of sin. Hannah was distraught that she could not produce a son for her husband.

How did Hannah deal with her emotions? She cried and she prayed. She never gave up or doubted God; she trusted him for a miracle and promised the Lord that if he gave her a son, she would give him back to the Lord (1 Samuel 1:11). God heard her prayers, and he blessed her with a son, Samuel. Here is where my mind is blown: True to her word, Hannah returned Samuel to the temple when he was done weaning, meaning she likely raised her beloved child for two to four years and then gave him over to the temple for training. Can you imagine that level of sacrifice and trust in God?

Hannah prayed without ceasing, and then when God blessed her greatly, she handed over her blessing knowing that God had a better plan. Samuel eventually became a great prophet, anointing the first king of Israel! Hannah’s faithfulness to prayer changed the course of Israel’s history.

We may not know what impact our prayers have on our children, their future, or the world. But like Hannah, we can trust that God knows the outcome and it will be good.

This week, let’s pray for our kids’ futures, and let’s also pray that our kids have a big prayer life that makes an impact on generations to come.

Lord, help me to have a faith like Hannah’s, holding __________ with open hands, knowing you have the best plan for their life. I pray that __________ will bring all their struggles, their hopes, their dreams, and their plans to you in prayer. Give them patience to trust in your timing, knowing that your plans are always better. And may their prayers impact generations of believers. Amen.

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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The Case for Christmas with Lee Strobel Nov 27, 2025

Show notes

In this week’s podcast, Lee Strobel is BACK to talk about the Nativity story. He shares about challenging common perceptions and interpretations. I absolutely loved hearing the detail and history around the “manger” which was more like a guest room. And he gives us some more clarity around the date of Christmas and how it was chosen.

It was so interesting for me to hear from Lee which nativity details have been misunderstood or overemphasized or even simplified. This would be a great episode to listen to with your kids! As a former atheist and investigative journalist, Lee’s heart is to give us a “Case for Christmas” and ultimately point everyone to his savior Jesus Christ.

My favorite part is at the end - do not miss it! His story brought me to tears about how he experienced Jesus when he was an atheist. It was the generosity of Christians that drew him to God. What a powerful reminder that God is using everything for his glory and you never know who is watching.

I am so thankful for our community and hope you had a restful week with your family. Take just a few moments to let your kids share what they are grateful for this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Courtney DeFeo

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Lee Strobel

Case For Christmas

Is God Real ? for Teens

Lee on Shawn Ryan Show

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Week 12: A thankful heart - the healed leper Nov 24, 2025

Show notes

I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;

I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.

I will be filled with joy because of you.

I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. (Psalm 9:1–2 NLT)

There is a story in the book of Luke where Jesus heals ten men with leprosy. The lepers saw Jesus coming, stood at a distance, and called out for him to heal them. When he did, just one of the lepers came back to thank him. The leper didn’t just thank him, he praised him in a loud voice and threw himself at Jesus’s feet. He was filled with gratitude.

This man’s life was changed; he knew it and he was not going to be silent about it. The crazy thing is that this man was a Samaritan, meaning he had never known the one true God until Jesus came and changed his life forever. That type of gratitude, that realization that Jesus has completely saved us, moves us to love Jesus more.

We live in a much easier world. There is no leprosy for us to fear, medical care is accessible, and grocery stores are fully stocked. We can even have something delivered to us the same day, using just our face to pay. Our life is pretty good! It’s amazing! The downside is that it’s a lot harder to feel grateful for the everyday things God has blessed us with. Our hearts are easily hardened and discontent.

But we can be truly grateful for the gift of salvation every single day. Life may not be perfect every day, but Jesus loves us every day. Having a thankful heart toward him will draw us closer to him and increase our joy! It’s hard to be grumpy when you are being thankful!

Let’s pray that our kids recognize Jesus’s gifts to them every day and that they move closer to him and praise him in response!

Lord, I pray that you would remind __________ daily of your love for them, that they would practice praising you for who you are and thanking you for your many blessings on a regular basis, that you would cultivate in them a grateful heart, and that you would help me model this in our home too!

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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How to set limits in the holidays (and actually enjoy it) with Niro Feliciano Nov 20, 2025

Show notes

Does anyone else feel like the holidays keep getting crazier and crazier? Busier and busier? On the podcast this week is Niro Feliciano. You may recognize from her regular appearances on The Today Show. She is a certified cognitive therapist, the co-founder of Integrative Counseling and Wellness Group in Wilton, CT and the author of All is CALMish. I love her professional insight and perspective on the pressure of Christmas. She reminds that the mental health of our families will benefit as we prioritize our presence over the perfection of Christmas.

Niro reflects on the significance of holiday celebrations and the importance of meaningful connections of superficial interactions. She shares her journey of reevaluating how she celebrates the holidays, empathizing with the need for deeper connections with loved ones and a more intentional approach to social gatherings.

My favorite part is when Niro encourages us moms to find “micro moments of joy” during the holidays. As a mom, we can spin our wheels to make everything magical for all and we forget to encounter Jesus and take care of ourselves. What are some little things you can do to dial in the peace and joy and dial out the pressure and stress?

Before we dive right into the same Christmas chaos, let’s pray for God to order our days. How can we spend more time in the presence of Jesus? How can we focus on being over doing? What traditions and parties and commitments can we delete or pause to add more capacity?

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapters:

00:00 Navigating Holiday Stress

03:00 The Pressure of Perfection

06:07 Creating Meaningful Traditions

08:59 Connection Over Perfection

12:00 Finding Joy in Giving

14:55 Holiday Experiences in the City

15:32 Embracing the Holiday Spirit

18:20 Navigating Family Dynamics

25:31 Setting Boundaries for Joy

27:50 Modeling Joy for Future Generations

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Niro

All is CALMish - Niro’s new book

Light ‘Em Up Acts - ideas for giving

NIV Application Bible

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Week 11: Redemption - Samson Nov 17, 2025

Show notes

Then Samson prayed to the Lord, “Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes.” (Judges 16:28)

Samson is known for his great strength and his great weaknesses. He was physically strong enough to kill a lion with his bare hands, and in the twenty years he led Israel, he killed hundreds and thousands of Philistines on his own. His weaknesses were his hair (it had to be long in order for him to be strong) and women. These weaknesses got him into trouble and eventually he was captured and the Lord left him. But in his final moments, he prayed for God to remember him and give him strength one more time, and the Lord answered.

Samson reminds us that we all have strengths and weaknesses. And even our strengths have to be used wisely in order to honor God. But at the end of the day, God is full of mercy, and he can redeem even our greatest weaknesses when we turn to him and ask him.

There may be times in our children’s lives when they turn away from God. They may go as far as rejecting Christ, or they may not honor him with their choices. But no mistake is too big for God. There is nothing our kids can do that God cannot redeem; he is always ready to restore us when we turn back to him.

This week, let’s pray that our kids always follow God and honor him. But if they make mistakes or walk away, let’s pray that they turn back to God, ask for mercy, and experience God’s amazing redemption.

Jesus, thank you for your amazing grace that restores us back to God. I pray that __________ will follow you all their life. But if they fall away, may they experience your redemption in a powerful way. Redeem the pain that they experience in their life, and even the mistakes they will make. Remind them that you are bigger than everything! I pray they are always confident in your goodness and in your desire to be in right relationship with them. Amen.

Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Surviving an unwanted divorce with Lysa TerKeurst Nov 13, 2025

Show notes

Are you going through an unwanted divorce? Or have a friend or family member going through an unwanted divorce? This powerful episode with Lysa TerKeurst is for you. I’m so thankful that Lysa is using her own divorce experience, healing journey and biblical understanding to encourage other women.

Lysa shares about the significant challenges of an unwanted divorce. She shares about the unhelpful comments and verses thrown at people that choose divorce. She walks us through the powerful combination of theology and therapy and how those two things were key in her healing journey.

This episode isn’t really for the person trying to determine IF they should divorce, it’s really for those that are already walking through the divorce from a destructive marriage and how to move forward.

My favorite part is at the very end when she talks directly to the woman walking through an unwanted divorce. Her words are so tender and so encouraging. I am praying you will feel so seen.

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapter

(02:46) The Need for a New Book

(05:23) Understanding Divorce and Its Impact

(08:19) Theological Insights on Divorce

(11:05) Resources for Support

(13:47) Identity and Self-Worth

(15:19) Coping Strategies During Divorce

(15:39) Finding Wholeness After Divorce

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

What to Say and How to Say it to Your Teen

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Lysa

Surviving an Unwanted Divorce - new book

Surviving an Unwanted Divorce - podcast series

Emily Lex Watercolor

The Biggest Story Holy Bible for Kids

Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube!

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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Week 10: Loyalty - Ruth Nov 10, 2025

Show notes

But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” (Ruth 1:16 NLT)

We often hear Ruth 1:16 recited at weddings, and rightfully so; it is a beautiful verse about family and loyalty. When Ruth’s husband died, she decided to stay with her mother-in-law, Naomi, even though it meant leaving behind life as she knew it. Eventually she married again. Ruth’s new husband was a good and kind man named Boaz, and she remained faithful in caring for her mother-in-law.

It would have been easy for Ruth to leave Naomi and start over. In fact, that is what Naomi tried to convince her to do. But Ruth was loyal to Naomi and to God, and she loved them both. Because of her kindness, God gave her a new family and a special place in his story—she became great-grandmother to King David, making her part of the lineage of Jesus. God can do anything with anyone when they are faithful.

As parents, we have the opportunity to model the value of family, show our kids what it means to honor God by honoring each other, and raise our kids up to be loyal and kind. We would do anything for our kids, but even so, there will be times in parenting when it feels like your kids would choose to follow anyone else but you. In those moments, lean in and lavish them with love. We get to show them the love of Jesus in the way we parent them! Eventually that love will prepare them for their own family, and hopefully they will be as loyal to them and to God as Ruth was.

This week, let’s pray that our kids love and serve their current and future families with loyal hearts.

Father God, you are the perfect father. Help __________ to love and serve their family. May they be loyal, kind, and faithful. May they trust in my guidance as a parent. And most importantly, may they trust in you as their perfect parent and stay faithfully devoted to you all the days of their life. May they never know a day without being in your presence. Amen.