Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Latest Episodes:

Identifying anxiety, panic, and fear in our kids with Ken WIlgus Jul 23, 2020

Show notes

Feeling anxious?

You’re not alone. Studies indicate that over a third of Americans report feelings of anxiety and depression as COVID-19 numbers continue to spike. There’s no playbook for how to navigate life in a pandemic. It can leave us (and our kids) feeling discouraged as we ponder the future.

But even without the stress of a pandemic, our kids face varying degrees of fear and anxiety throughout their lives, critical topics for all parents to consider.

Ken Wilgus is a licensed psychologist who specializes in the treatment of adolescents and their families. He’s joining us today to talk about parenting our kids through fear and anxiety. May I just say, you’re not going to want to miss a second of this!

Here are some of the areas we cover:

The difference between fear, anxiety, and panic
Identifying when our kids are struggling with anxiety
The physical components of panic
Unhelpful things parents do
The genetic components of anxiety and recognizing it in our own lives
Healthy coping mechanisms when our kids are fearful or anxious
Practical tips to prevent fear and anxiety before they occur

A friend sent me the link to Dr. Wilgus’ discussion on this topic, published on his podcast, Feeding the Mouth That Bites You. I knew it was just the word we need as we begin to think about back-to-school and all it entails.

I can’t wait for you to hear Dr. Wilgus today. And I have a feeling that you may even want the teens in your life to listen as well. (I know I did!)

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Mini-Mess: Changing Names 3 Jul 20, 2020

Show notes

It’s week three of our “mini-mess” episode series! We’ve been studying places in the Bible where God changed a person’s name and how the new name brought new beginnings and clarity to that person’s calling.

We’re digging into Matthew 16 this week, where Jesus changed Simon’s name to Peter. This name change reminds us that when we fully grasp who Jesus is, we become “a rock” or “cornerstone” in the larger narrative of the gospel. We begin to see new significance and meaning in our days.

Next week, we will begin to wrap up this study. There will be a lot of amazing applications you won’t want to miss! But for now, I hope you will remember: when we spend time with our Savior he transforms our lives in remarkable ways. Take time this week to dig into God’s word and consider the question of who Jesus really is in your life.

Grab your Bible. Tune into the podcast this morning. And please share it with a friend who might need encouragement during these days!

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A great reminder to “stand all the way up” with Sophie Hudson Jul 16, 2020

Show notes

I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t need a good laugh as we plow through another month of the weird new normal called 2020. You’re going to want to carry me off on your shoulders after our Pardon the Mess conversation with Sophie Hudson. And you will equally enjoy her book, Stand all the Way Up.

Sophie has an honest and hilarious point of view on how to face the hard places in life that keep us up at night and make us want to “burn it all down.” During a hard time in her own life, she shares how she learned that the Lord has already provided all we need to “get up, straighten up, and stand all the way up” for our faith and the underdog. She reminds us that for every God-given task we are handed, he will equip us.

Sophie is hilarious, vulnerable, and has a good word for us in a time when it would be easier to pull the covers over our head and wait for a vaccine. Be encouraged that in our hardest days the Lord can have the biggest impact, if we will just allow him to use our weakness for his great glory.

Oh, and don’t miss Sophie’s words on turning fifty and her best advice to her younger self. It’s good stuff!

Check out Sophie and Melanie Shankle’s Big Boo Podcast!

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Mini-Mess: Changing Names 2 Jul 13, 2020

Show notes

Today we kick-off week number two of our “mini-mess” episodes, designed to offer quick biblical truths with lasting value. We’re studying places in the Bible where God changed a person’s name and how the new name brought new beginnings and clarity to that person’s calling.

This week, we’re looking at Jacob’s life and how an all night wrestling match changed his name from “deceiver” to Israel (because he wrestled with God and man). This wrestling passage might be one of the stranger events we read about in the Bible, but it serves as a great reminder of how much God treasures his creation. It recalls how he will go to any length to have a deep and meaningful relationship with us.

Grab your Bible. Tune into the podcast this morning. And please share it with a friend who might need encouragement during these days!

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The six needs of every child with Amy and Jeffrey Olrick Jul 09, 2020

Show notes

I think we can agree that one of the hardest parts of our COVID-19 existence is the lack of connection with friends and family. In our present circumstances, it has become very evident just how much we need connection, and it starts at the earliest of ages with our kids.

I’m thrilled to have Amy and Jeffrey Olrick on our podcast today, discussing this very topic. They speak to the six needs every child possesses in relation to connection. Amy and Jeffrey’s integration of neuroscience and practical parenting is a great reminder that God created us to be relational, and our kids need us to be present, not perfect.

We chat about topics such as:

Delighting in our kids because of who they are and not because of what they’ve done.
The importance of setting boundaries and considering our motives behind them.
Giving ourselves grace on the bad days and knowing that parenting is a life-long pursuit.

You’re going to love how Amy and Jeffrey practically break our kids’ needs down into six essential areas. Join us and be encouraged.

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Mini-Mess: Changing Names 1 Jul 06, 2020

Show notes

What’s your name again?

One time I was podcasting someone fairly well-known, and within the first five minutes of our discussion, I called him by the wrong name (multiple times). Apparently, he wasn’t as well-known to me as I thought. Thankfully, his wife happened to be on the podcast too and she very graciously let me know that I had his name wrong. #Died

There’s a lot that goes into our names, especially if we go back and consider the significance of names in biblical times. We know that God has many different names, revealing different aspects of his character. And we also know that there are instances in the Bible where God changed someone’s name to give that person a new perspective and, oftentimes, a new beginning.

This month, I’m trying something a little bit different. On Mondays, I will be releasing short “Mini-Mess” podcasts, giving quick biblical truths with lasting values. As you may have guessed, we will be studying name changes in the Bible and their significance on how we live our lives each and every day this side of eternity.

As we continue to parent our kids in this new world with new rules, be reminded that God still rules. His word is an ever-present encouragement in the hard places we’re facing.

Grab your Bible. Let’s spend a few minutes together in God’s word.

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Dealing with the fear virus with Pastor Ed Young Jul 02, 2020

Show notes

As I’ve been working through the new realities of this pandemic, I’ve felt a bit of fear creeping into my life. Maybe it’s because I live in a COVID-19 “hot spot.” Or, it could be that as things have opened up in our state, my family is inevitably facing increased exposure to the virus. Either way, my lack of control over things I previously thought I could manage has revealed how quickly fear can replace faith in my life.

I’m guessing I’m not alone.

Ed Young, Senior Pastor of Fellowship Church, joins us on Pardon the Mess today to talk through dealing with fear in these uncertain days. In his new book, The Fear Virus, he encourages us to get “historical, not hysterical” when we’re fearful. Being historical means going back to all the places where God has been faithful in our past and using those times to remind us that God will continue to be faithful in the present.

Pastor Young shares with us the significance of trusting God in the face of fear and how to do that practically: naming our fears, taking captive our thoughts, and praying for wisdom and guidance. Trusting God is a daily (sometimes momentary) decision, and in days like these, it often means we deliberately choose to cling to God’s words instead of the words filling the air all around us.

You will love Ed Young’s vulnerable and entertaining words for us today! I’m praying this podcast will refresh you and bring biblical encouragement as you identify the areas of fear you’re struggling with.

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Encouragement for special needs parents with Jamie Sumner Jun 25, 2020

Show notes

The disciples were walking with Jesus one day when they happened upon a blind man. They asked Jesus whether the man’s parents or the man himself had sinned, causing him to be blind. Jesus said neither, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:1–3). And then Jesus put mud on the blind man’s eyes and gave him sight.

Discussing the truths of this passage of Scripture might be my favorite part of today’s podcast: the reminder that whether it’s sickness, health, disability, or poverty, God can use all of these things for his glory!

Jamie Sumner joins me with words of encouragement for those raising special needs children and for the rest of us walking the road with them. You will love her practical and heartfelt words describing her own journey in raising Charlie while also sharing some of the difficulties she’s faced with guilt, her marriage, finances, and managing disappointments and unmet expectations.

Jamie suggests how we can support those around us raising special needs children and how to guide our kids in their interactions with these precious kids. She encourages us to look at bravery in parenting from a different perspective and reminds us that our kids were God’s first so we can trust him in all the messy details.

I love how she ends her book, Eat, Sleep, Save the World: Words of Encouragement for the Special Needs Parent:

“Parenting a child who needs help to move, to speak, to interact with others is gritty. It takes courage and determination to know when to help and when to let go, when to fight for them and when to let them into the ring alone.”

Praying grit for every single one of us raising kids today!

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Celebrating Father’s Day and our favorite “daddisms” with Steve Graves Jun 18, 2020

Show notes

Happy Father’s Day to our dads!

Father’s Day wasn’t officially recognized as a national holiday until 1972. And almost fifty years later, we’re still thankful for the opportunity to celebrate all the dads in our lives and what they mean to our families.

As we think fondly of our dads this weekend, let’s not miss the opportunity to acknowledge the universal “daddisms” that make them who they are.

For instance, when they say things like:

“Don’t spend it all in one place” (after giving you virtually no money at all).
“I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.”
“When I was your age . . .”
“Don’t pay someone to fix that when I can do it.”
“Were you raised in a barn?”
“They don’t make them like they used to.”

And then there’s the little things they do like driving endlessly around parking lots in search of the“perfect” spot, or insisting we have a little cash before getting on an airplane (as if cash will be our primary concern if the plane runs into trouble).

It’s the small things that make us big fans of the dads in our lives. And if you’re fortunate enough to have a dad who loves the Lord and has led your family well spiritually, then you’re doubly blessed.

In honor of our dads, we’re bringing you two podcasts this week!

Today, Steve Graves chats with my husband and me about crucial conversations every dad needs to have with their sons.

I hope you have a wonderful Father’s Day weekend, and be sure to share these podcasts with the men in your life.

Get Steve's book, 41 Deposits here!

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Celebrating Father’s Day and our favorite “daddisms” with Jerrad Lopes Jun 18, 2020

Show notes

Happy Father’s Day to our dads!

As we think fondly of our dads this weekend, let’s not miss the opportunity to acknowledge the universal “daddisms” that make them who they are.

For instance, when they say things like:

“Don’t spend it all in one place” (after giving you virtually no money at all).
“I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.”
“When I was your age . . .”
“Don’t pay someone to fix that when I can do it.”
“Were you raised in a barn?”
“They don’t make them like they used to.”

In honor of our dads, we’re bringing you two podcasts this week!

In our first podcast, Jerrad Lopes of Dad Tired encourages men to lead well in their homes while also giving all of us wives some thoughts on how best to encourage our husbands as they lead.

I hope you have a wonderful Father’s Day weekend, and be sure to share these podcasts with the men in your life.

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