Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal &#8211; Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Resources from today’s show:

Courtney & Cynthia - Pardon The Mess announcement Part 1 and Part 2

CynthiaYanof.Com

Cynthia’s Instagram

Cynthia’s Podcast

Cynthia’s New Book: Life Is Messy, God Is Good

Discipleship Guide: cpgive.org

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BONUS: Marked by Hope Jan 22, 2024

Show notes

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” —Isaiah 40:31

A few years ago, Pew Research released a poll revealing that seven in ten US teens considered anxiety and depression a major problem among their peers. Of those participating in the poll, 61 percent indicated they felt pressure to get good grades, while 29 percent felt pressure to look good and 28 percent felt pressure to fit in socially.

Considering that our culture’s expectations are so often arbitrary and impossible to meet, it’s not surprising that our kids struggle with anxiety and depression. When the world ties our worth to materiality and performance, it feels hopeless because we’re only as good as our most recent accomplishment or latest accolade.

But, as Christians, our hope is in the Lord. Practically speaking, that means we’re not looking to the world to meet our greatest needs and desires, Rather, we look to God. Biblical hope is not just desiring for something good to happen in our lives; it’s a confident expectation that God will actually do it.

There are so many reasons for our kids to be hopeful in the Lord:

He has good plans for their lives (Jeremiah 29:11).
He leads and teaches them in his ways (Psalm 32:8).
He will fulfill his greater purpose in their lives (Psalm 138:8).
He will establish their plans (Proverbs 16:3).
He promises to work all things together for their good (Romans 8:28).

The Pew Research statistics confirm what we already know: we need to diligently pray that our kids are not weighed down by impossible standards of our culture, but that they will be marked by a hope found only in the Lord.

Lord, there is no hope without you. Use [name] as an instrument to take your hope to those around them. Take our days, Lord—the good, the bad, the easy, the hard—and show us the greater picture of hope found only in you.

God’s word speaks: Ephesians 1:18; Jeremiah 29:11; Mark 9:23; Psalm 33:18

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For all parents of sons! Is there a boy crisis? with David Thomas Jan 18, 2024

Show notes

David Thomas never disappoints! As a counselor with decades of experience, David has counseled thousands of families of boys. He brings powerful insight, practical tips, and heartfelt encouragement.

You may be wondering if you are failing at this parenting thing or if there might be something wrong with your son. After this episode, I think you will feel much better about your parenting and your amazing son.

David agrees with the assessment that there is a “boy crisis” happening, as this article suggests. Reach out to us on social media - do you agree? Are you seeing “disinterest” in your son’s world too?

My biggest takeaway is when David distinguishes between “hard” and “harmful.” I have daughters - but I needed to hear this encouragement. Too often, I help them escape hard things because I believe they are in harm’s way when they are not. Many times, my kids are pushing back against discomfort and you’ll hear how this is needed and actually good for them.

This is one of those episodes you need to listen to, file away, save, listen again, and then discuss with a friend. Do not lose hope! Jesus has you and your kiddos. I’m so thankful he brings us so many wonderful and biblical mentors like David Thomas to help guide us through these parenting challenges. Don’t miss the last part when David reminds us that we have an opportunity and many years left to equip, empower and encourage all the kids we love.

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Resources from today’s show:

Dr. Anthony Bradley article about boy crisis
Daystar Counseling
Raising Boys and Girls Instagram
Raising Boys and Girls Podcast
Raising Emotionally Strong Boys (for parents)
Strong and Smart (guide for boys)
Babbleland Breakout- Dead Sea Squirrels

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BONUS: Marked by Compassion Jan 15, 2024

Show notes

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:32

Compassion is one of the defining characteristics of God. He’s sympathetic to our struggles and burdened by what burdens us. But, even more than simply feeling compassion and sympathy toward us emotionally, his compassionate nature moves him to act on our behalf.

This compassion turned to action is most evident when we consider the cross. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). That’s the overwhelming grace behind a compassionate God working all things for the good of his children.

If compassion is central to the gospel, what should it look like in our lives? Henri Nouwen describes it this way: “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless.”

As we pray compassion for our kids this week, we’re praying that it’s more than a fleeting emotion. Rather, we’re praying that it’s evident in their actions. Pray that they stand up for the vulnerable, fight for the oppressed, and are intolerant of injustices around them.

Lord, your word calls us to have compassion and love for others. Please give [name] a compassionate heart to see the things that burden you and a spirit of determination to help others in whatever way you lead. Slow us down and give us discernment to see the needs around us and not to tolerate the things that break your heart.

God’s word speaks:1 Peter 3:8; 2 Corinthians 1:3–4; Colossians 3:12; Lamentations 3:22–23

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3 ways to stop wasting your time and money with Shawna Sullivan Jan 11, 2024

Show notes

Happy New Year!!!

Do you love the reset that comes with a New Year or does it stress you out? Either way, I think you’re going to find this conversation refreshing. It’s simple. It’s practical. And very doable.

On Pardon The Mess, we talk a lot about being intentional with our families. We talk about our values and how we are going to instill those into our kids. The truth is that all of that takes time and money - which is not an endless pot. I wish it wouldn’t run out.

As we begin the year, let’s hear from my friend Shawna Sullivan on some ways we can stop wasting time and money. And then, print her simple guide called “Make It Count” and just spend a few minutes thinking ahead through the year.

My favorite part is when she encourages us to cut the mindless spending. She calls it a “slow leak.” I am so so guilty of this and I do think it would help our budget a ton if I’d cut the slow leak (also known as TJ Maxx).

You will not feel judged or shamed in this episode. You will feel encouraged to make some small shifts to steward your time and money more wisely this year.

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Shawna on Instagram

ShawnaSullivan.com

Free Download - "Make It Count"

Babbleland Breakout- Dead Sea Squirrels

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BONUS: Marked by Truth Jan 08, 2024

Show notes

“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”—John 17:17

Sadie Robertson Huff has said that when she went to her mom for advice during struggles in her teenage years, her mom would always “meet her with Jesus”

Meeting our kids with Jesus just might be the most significant thing we can do in our kids’ lives. Satan is the father of lies, looking for ways to misguide and deceive us at every turn. Only in Jesus will we find real truth, especially in a culture that rejects absolute truth.

Jesus, you are the truth that overcomes the lies of the Enemy and shines light in the darkness. Help my family to identify the lies we’re believing, replacing them with the truth of your word. Give [name] an increasing understanding of who you are and your great love for them. Fill our families with hope, joy, and truth that comes only from you.

God's word speaks: Psalm 119:151; John 14:6; 2 Timothy 3:16; John 10:10

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How to pursue your passions during the seasons of motherhood with Ruth Chou Simons Jan 04, 2024

Show notes

Happy New Year!!! Let’s take a big sigh together. The New Year can be intense and overwhelming right out of the gate. I don’t know if you’re entering 2024 with a lot of shame or excitement. This episode is such a breath of fresh air that made me feel hopeful.

I did this interview live at my church (Compass Church Colleyville) when Ruth was the guest speaker at our Christmas women’s event. It was so fun to do this in person and get to meet and sit with someone I have long admired.

You will sense PEACE when you hear from Ruth. She just oozes truth and encouragement that we all need in our lives. We have some fun and also discuss some parenting tips along the way. When a mom of 6 BOYS speaks up, I listen.

My favorite part is how she provides a way to read the Bible. A lens we can have to simply get to know the character of God with every moment we’re in His Word. For many years, I think I looked for me in the story and left feeling really discouraged and not enough. When we look for God instead - it can be a game changer in how we encounter our Heavenly Father.

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Ruth

Ruth’s latest book, Pilgrim

Pre-Order Ruth’s next book, Now and Not Yet

Ruth’s jeweler, Mud Lowery

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BONUS: Marked by Numbering Days Jan 01, 2024

Show notes

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” —Psalm 90:12

Every seasoned parent knows how quickly time passes when you’re in the throes of raising kids. It seems like one day they’re toddlers and the next day you’re visiting colleges. Despite being cautioned that “the days are long, but the years are short,” it’s still hard to appreciate how fast it passes until you’re on the other side looking back.

As we start a new year, it’s a great time for our families to remember to number our days because time is fleeting. Counting our days is not meant to be mathematical, but missional. It’s living today as if you have no tomorrow. It’s making the most of every God-given opportunity, knowing that missed opportunities are often our greatest regrets.

David understood the brevity of life when he wrote, “You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure” (Psalm 39:5).

As we pray for our kids to number their days, ask the Lord to give them the wisdom to evaluate every decision and opportunity through the lens of eternity.

Lord, you are the God of the past, present, and future. We claim your promise that for every good work you begin in our kids, you will carry it to the point of completion. Please impress upon [name] the importance of numbering their days, knowing there is nothing more important or significant than the plans you have for them in this moment.

God’s word speaks:Psalm 39:4; Ephesians 5:15; James 4:14–15; Psalm 144:4

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Simple Skin Care & Beauty Secrets with Heidi Miller and Lindsay Harrison Dec 28, 2023

Show notes

I am so excited about this month’s episodes. They are designed to be lighthearted and very practical - like we all sat down and had coffee. Today, we are headed into a chat about simplifying our style and skin care with two of my besties.

Get fired up for some lighthearted banter about jeans, winter shoes, budget ideas, places to shop, aging skin care, drugstore favorites and much more. I hope you will feel practically equipped and slightly amused with our real life friend chat.

Heidi is a pastor and extraordinary leader in our town. Our families do life together on the regular. She’s one of the very first friends I met here in TX. Lindsay is a Bible teacher and woman of many talents. She is the best party planner I know and loves to celebrate her people so often. She has scooped up my girls on many occasions and loves them so well.

My favorite part is at the end when you get a pep talk from each of them. They do care for themselves and have fun with style and skin - but it is not the main thing. They remind us that our worth never lies with our physicality. These two radiate from the inside. Everytime I am with them, I feel so seen. Their smile, their hugs and their sincere interest in me is something I want to emulate. That kind of beauty is not sold at drugstores or Nordstrom. It’s cultivated after a lifetime of pursuing Jesus and living out their faith.

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