Stay ConnectedThis podcast is for anyone who wants to overcome pornography for good. It will teach you about your brain and how to completely quit a pornography habit, 100% shame-free. If your ideal life doesn’t include a porn habit, then this is the show for you.
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I dive into the research behind thought suppression and explore why trying to fight off or ignore sexual thoughts can actually make them more intense and lead to out-of-control behavior. If you've struggled with thought suppression around sexuality, this episode will give you a new perspective.
Learn the research behind thought suppression, and why learning the skill of allowing versus suppression is vital for you to navigate unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings. I explain why acceptance, mindfulness and non-judgment are more effective tools and provide some practical tips you can start using today to
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/thought-suppression
If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
When we stop fearing and resisting our emotions, a whole new world of possibility opens up. Imagine being able to go after your biggest goals and dreams without being held back by the fear of failure, embarrassment, or rejection. Mastering the skill of feeling your feelings is the key to living an amazing life and overcoming pornography for good.
Discover the seven steps I teach my clients to help them process their emotions in a healthy way. By learning to name, locate, and relax into our feelings, we can start to see our emotions for what they really are: temporary vibrations in the body that don't have the power to hurt us, and that don’t need to be distracted with pornography.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/stop-fearing-feelings-replay
If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
Hunter is our new coach and program ambassador at the Center for Overcoming Pornography. He facilitates our welcome calls, support group calls, and is generally the point of contact for anyone considering joining the program. His goal is to make sure everyone feels hopeful, connected, and knows what their next steps are, and he’s here today to share his story with you.
Join us this week as Hunter shares his own journey with pornography and how joining the program two years ago changed his life. We dive into the tragedy that is the shame he experienced keeping this a secret for years, how finally sharing his story with his family turned things around for him, and the concepts and tools that helped him the most.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/hunters-story
If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
Understanding the difference between head versus heart learning has been a crucial part of my own growth. The truth is, we don’t find answers in our heads. We find them in our heart. And when we find the answers in our heart, we can create real change in our lives.
Tune in this week to discover the important differences between head and heart learning. I share my experience of shifting from learning with my head to learning from the heart, and you’ll learn how to use heart learning to free yourself from pornography.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/heart-head-learning
If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
What is quitting porn really like and what has to change for you to be able to quit for good?
Tune in this week to hear from Gabe about what’s really possible when you decide to quit porn and take action in pursuit of that goal. We discuss faith, shame, growth, and repentance, and Gabe shares the lessons he’s learned since deciding he wanted to quit viewing pornography.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/whats-possible-gabe
If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
Have you ever set a goal for yourself that felt impossible to achieve? Maybe you told yourself, “I'm never going to view porn again,” only to feel discouraged and ashamed when you couldn't live up to that standard.
Join me this week as I explore the concept of "dead people goals" and why they’re harmful to your progress in overcoming pornography. I share examples of common dead people goals and show you how they can damage your relationship with yourself, and you’ll also learn how to reframe your goals in a healthier, more achievable way.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/dead-people-goals
If you’re ready to do this work and start practicing unconditional commitment towards quitting your porn habit, sign up to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
Do you feel stuck in a cycle of trying to quit porn, only to slip up and feel like a failure? Have you tried willpower, counting days, and shame tactics, but nothing seems to work long-term? If so, you're not alone.
Join me this week to discover the five biggest mistakes people make when trying to quit pornography. Whether you've struggled for decades or are just starting your journey, you’ll learn the tools and insights you need to finally break free and create the life you desire.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/5-biggest-mistakes
Register for my free live class, The New, Revolutionary Way to Quit Porn for Good, September 19, 2024. A shame-free, sex-positive methodology that is guaranteed to help you overcome pornography for good: https://centerforovercoming.com/freeliveclass
Have you struggled to overcome pornography for years or even decades? Do you feel out of control, ashamed, and hopeless that you'll never be able to quit for good? If you resonate, today’s powerful episode will show you what's truly possible when it comes to breaking free from your porn habit.
Tune in to hear the breakthroughs Sam experienced that allowed him to finally quit porn for good after 20 years of failed attempts. He shares how overcoming his porn habit improved every area of his life, from his marriage to his career, and his thoughts on the long-term impact of investing in yourself.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/whats-possible-sam-2
This week, I’m joined by Dr. Kersti Spjut, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sexual health and perfectionism. With years of experience running programs at BYU for people conflicted about their porn use, she brings a wealth of knowledge and practical strategies to help navigate the unique challenges that come with having ADHD while trying to change sexual behaviors.
Tune in this week as Kersti dives deep into the connection between ADHD and porn use. She offers her insights on the shame and stigma surrounding ADHD, why those with ADHD may be more drawn to the ‘stickiness’ of porn, and her top recommendations of interventions that have helped people with ADHD manage their porn use.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/adhd-porn-use-kersti-spjut
One of the biggest misconceptions about having a porn habit is that if you’re experiencing unwanted pornography use, you’re lacking strength, willpower, or spirituality. This misleading belief is not only false but often leads to avoidance techniques I call Band-Aid solutions. In this episode, I show you how to stop relying on these quick fixes and how making tiny changes in the way you cope with emotions can change everything.
Discover what Band-Aid solutions can look like in practice and why they don’t work long-term. Learn why buffering and numbing out prevents you from processing emotions in a healthy way, and how to stop the cycle of turning to porn every time life gets challenging so you can finally experience true freedom.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/no-more-band-aid-solutions
To dive into abusive attitudes and behaviors, boundaries, and worthiness wounds, I’m joined by Lindsay Poelman this week. Lindsay started as a betrayal trauma coach for women whose husbands view porn and is now a facilitator for Trauma-Informed coaches. She’s here to shed light on how worthiness wounds can contribute to abusive attitudes and behaviors, and what you can do to start the healing process.
Discover the emotional wounds that often contribute to abusive dynamics in relationships. Lindsay and I explore examples of how abusive attitudes and behaviors can manifest, why you’re more likely to exhibit abusive tendencies if you have deep worthiness wounds, and Lindsay’s brain hacks for setting boundaries and creating a sense of self-safety.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/abusive-attitudes-behaviors-lindsay-poelman
To protect and provide is a beautiful energy that can be used for so much good in our world, regardless of gender. However, in the presence of worthiness wounds, these values can quickly turn toxic, and I show you how in this episode.
Hear what worthiness wounds are, why they hurt, and how they might be showing up for you if you identify with the value of protecting and providing. Learn how this role turns toxic if you haven’t healed your worthiness wounds, why this conditioning is often enmeshed with toxic masculinity, and examples of how you can use this value of protecting and providing in healthy and honorable ways instead.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-2-protect-provide
The working backwards process is all about figuring out what you’re buffering from. The value lies in going further back than you might typically be used to, to get to the root of why you self-sabotaged. By uncovering the root cause of your self-sabotage, you unlock the keys to building lasting change.
I walk you through the keys to using the working backwards process effectively, and share an example from my own life of how I use this technique to understand myself better and replace self-judgment with self-compassion.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/working-backwards
Let’s talk about shame-free commitment. Whether your goal is to quit viewing porn completely, view it a couple of times a week, or heal your sexual shame, the why behind it is an essential component of your journey to quitting porn.
Your feelings are the fuel for your quitting journey. I show you how to ditch the shame and focus on building shame-free commitments that empower you to live your best life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/shame-free
If you’re currently on a journey towards quitting your pornography habit, chances are you’ve experienced denial along the way. Denial is a defensive state where you might refuse to accept or look at the truth, and while this is a common human experience, shame and guilt often come along with it.
Learn a shame-free perspective on denial and examples of when denial shows up as a result of grief. Hear about the importance of noticing and feeling your sense of grief and how to find the peace and healing you desire.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/denial
In this Worthiness Wounds series, I’ll be speaking specifically to men and the worthiness wounds I’ve observed. A worthiness wound is the wound of shame and never feeling good enough, believing you have to do or be something more to be worthy. It’s not your fault if you resonate, but you’re the only one who can heal them, and I’m showing you how.
Learn about the conditioning men receive that creates worthiness wounds and the types of results they produce. Hear why you’ll continue to feel empty if you’re chasing external accomplishments as a way to heal, how these types of wounds create buffering activities, and why they hurt not only you but those you love most too.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-1-the-conditioning
If you’re learning new skills related to your porn use, they’re changing your life, and you’re feeling the benefits, but other people don’t get it, you’re not alone. Many people find themselves in situations where they feel relentlessly attacked by shame messages. While it might feel like it’s hindering your healing process, the truth is your power doesn’t come from other people finally getting it.
Learn what to do when everyone around you takes a shame approach to porn. I’m showing you how your peace and freedom come from not participating in these narratives, some ways you might choose to step out of the line of fire, and how, when you learn to do this, you can make a much bigger difference in your community.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/everyone-shame-approach
Coach Kat is on the show this week to address the it’s-not-working mentality, where you feel stuck and like nothing has changed. Maybe it feels like you’ve been doing the work for months, only to keep viewing porn. Perhaps this plateau is tempting you to give up, but the truth is the breakthrough you’re looking for is right around the corner.
Listen in this week as Coach Kat shows you how the it’s-not-working mentality might be showing up for you, and why you shouldn’t give up at this point. Hear why the work you’re currently doing isn’t going to waste, even if it feels like it, and how we know that the magic of change is inevitable if you don’t give up on yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-the-its-not-working-mentality
This week’s Ask a Coach question is one many of you can probably relate to: “Does the shame I feel after slipping up and viewing porn ever really go away?”
While we can learn to move through shame in different and more useful ways, I don’t know that it’s possible to completely get rid of it. The good news is that while shame will continue to show up for us, what we can do is start developing shame-resilience. Coach Jessica Farmer is here this week to shed light on what it means to become shame-resilient and how to start practicing this skill.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-become-shame-resilient
A common theme we see frequently in our Ask a Coach feature revolves around our Learn and Move On worksheet. Clients fill in their Learn and Move On before sending it in for feedback, and because it’s such a vital part of our process, Coach Kat is here to share five ways you can make it more beneficial to you.
Learn five practical tips for making the most of our Learn and Move On worksheet. Coach Kat is sharing how you can use it to collect data, get more precise about what’s going on for you, and even use it in conjunction with other milestones to find information you hadn’t seen before.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-learn-and-move-on-worksheet
We’re diving straight into listener questions for a special Q&A on healthy sexuality. We tackle a variety of thought-provoking questions, from a listener who feels disconnected from his sexuality and believes it's controlled by his spouse to concerns about whether masturbation causes erectile dysfunction. Plus, we hear from someone who has overcome shame about masturbation but now worries about discussing changes in her body with a future spouse.
Learn how to approach sensitive conversations about body image, understand the real effects of pornography on sexual health, and discover ways to foster a healthier, more confident relationship with your sexuality. Whether you're dealing with personal challenges or looking for deeper insights, this episode is packed with valuable advice and compassionate guidance.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/pornography-sexual-health-sexuality
If you've been working on quitting porn for a long time but still keep viewing pornography, you might be asking, "What if there really is something wrong with me?" There are a few things we need to unpack in order to answer this question in a productive way. So if you have been trying to quit but you're still turning to pornography, and you're starting to worry that something really is wrong with you, this episode is for you.
Discover how the sentence, "There's something wrong with me…" is actually stopping you from making progress. This is a limiting belief that keeps you stuck, and you'll learn how to replace this limiting, judgmental sentence with something way more useful instead.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-seriously-wrong-with-me
I am doing a bonus Q&A episode in a couple of weeks! If you have questions about previous episodes around healthy sexuality, porn panic, masturbation, healthy, sexuality, etc. send them to support@sarabrewer.com and we will answer them in this upcoming episode!
“What do I do with unwanted thoughts and images that come into my mind?” This is the Ask a Coach question being addressed on the podcast today.
Join Coach Kat as she walks you through the CTFAR model and how to use it in relation to this question, why having unwanted thoughts or images isn’t a problem, and a new way to think about them on purpose without any judgment or shame.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-unwanted-thoughts-images
Porn use and masturbation often go hand-in-hand, and in this episode, we’re diving deep into the research on masturbation to help you release your distress and feel empowered instead. While there continues to be so much misinformation about masturbation, there is no evidence of it causing negative health effects, so why do we still believe it’s harmful?
Learn about the worries people experience about masturbation, and why it’s actually a completely normal part of healthy development. I’m exploring how extreme distress can cause sexual trauma, why the shame around masturbation is learned and unhealthy, and the damaging effects of sexual shame.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/masturbation
The realm of sexuality can sometimes be erotic, strange, or even dark, and that’s okay. If you’ve spent your life demonizing or rejecting your sexuality, you’ve probably found it extremely challenging to cut back on or completely cut out viewing pornography, and the answer here is to start accepting and loving your sexuality instead.
Learn how understanding the differences between fantasy, desire, and choice is the secret to using your sexuality for good. I’m showing you the importance of knowing what is and isn’t real in porn, what to do if you’re distressed by intrusive sexual thoughts, and how to integrate your sexuality into your whole human experience.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/fantasy-desire-intrusive-thoughts-porn-literacy
Last week, I shared part one of this milestone where we dove into what it means to use your sexuality for good and what that can look like. I also touched on porn panic and started dispelling myths about porn that just aren’t true, and I’m sharing even more myths about pornography this week that may be keeping you stuck.
I dispel more porn myths that are creating panic, shame, and fear, and show you how most of the research available to us is biased. Learn about the ongoing research project we’re undertaking, non-shame-based reasons for you to work through a porn habit, and why busting these myths will give you more freedom and control over how you want to use your sexuality.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/healthy-sexuality-part-2
Sexual shame and purity culture teach us that sexuality is bad and inherently sinful, and I’m inviting you to question that narrative this week. The truth is your sexuality is neutral, but you may have been taught that your sexuality is something to be feared.
Hear my thoughts on healthy sexuality and what using your sexuality for good can look like. I’m exploring the key concepts that will help you reduce the shame you’re experiencing, busting the most common myths about porn that might be holding you back, and addressing the moral panic that comes from porn use.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/healthy-sexuality-part-1
Coach Jessica Farmer is here to answer this Ask a Coach question this week. In a world where we’ve been taught to shut down our emotions, you’re not alone if paying attention to your body feels challenging. However, if it often feels like your emotions are in control of you, learning how to truly feel your emotions is vital.
Jessica explains the importance of gaining awareness of the physical manifestations of your emotions. Learn what it means to ‘feel’ it in your body and where to start if you’re struggling to feel your physical sensations.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/ask-a-coach-feeling-your-body
We’ve been Sara Brewer Coaching since day one, and we are now rebranding to The Center for Overcoming Pornography. This is an outward manifestation of all the internal changes that have been happening in me, my business, and my team, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it.
Hear why this rebrand is happening, the big updates that are coming to the program, and how all of this affects you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/rebrand-the-center-for-overcoming-pornography
The problem with trusting other people, whether that’s a specific leader, congregation, or organization, is that you’ll often get differing or contradicting opinions. This is an exhausting and defeating place to be, and it’s incredibly disempowering.
Learn what it means to develop your personal spiritual authority and why it matters more than you might think. I show you what to do if you find yourself leaning on others to tell you what’s good or best for your life, examples of subtle spiritual abuse, and how to recognize the depth of your connection to your highest, most spiritual self.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/personal-spiritual-authority
It’s not your fault if you’ve been unable to quit your porn habit. Most people have been told to just stop, use more willpower, pray, or focus on connections in their lives. These approaches don’t get to the root cause of unwanted porn use and actually make it worse in most cases.
Join me on this episode to learn how the quit porn industry is not addressing the root issue of porn use, and why you need to get underneath the surface to truly heal. You’ll hear how my approach addresses the drivers of unwanted porn use, and why it’s changing the lives of my clients.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/missing-from-quit-porn-industry
Have you ever found yourself wondering why you made a decision that you know wasn’t in your best interest? What do you do when you experience an urge and have difficulty moving through it? Why does it sometimes feel impossible to make conscious decisions from your higher brain?
If you’ve ever found it challenging to think through your decisions, you’re not alone. Prioritizing nervous system healing in these moments is the secret to bringing your brain back online, but it can be difficult to practice. That’s why this week, I’m sharing some simple ideas for grounding and orienting yourself when nothing else seems to be working.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/prioritizing-nervous-system-healing
This week, I’m joined by sex and intimacy coach for married couples, Dan Purcell. Dan is the founder of Get Your Marriage On: a step-by-step program designed for couples who want more closeness, deeper intimacy, honesty, and an exciting sex life. He’s also the creator of the Intimately Us app, host of the Get Your Marriage On podcast, and leads retreats, all with a Christian perspective.
I invited Dan on to the show this week to dive into a specific scripture from The Sermon on the Mount where Christ says, “Whoever lusteth after a woman has committed adultery in his heart.” If this scripture has been something you’ve battled with on your porn journey, listen in this week as Dan and I explore its interpretations and how we can use it in a way that serves us better.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/interpreting-scripture-dan-purcell
If you’re a long-time listener of the show, you’ll understand the crucial role your beliefs play in your ability to overcome your pornography habit. That’s why helping you intentionally create new thoughts and beliefs is a foundational part of my work, and the magic lies in repetition.
Join me this week to hear why there’s magic in repetition, how I incorporate the power of repetition into my daily life, and how using my Belief Plan guided meditation will help create new neural pathways in your brain so you can believe new thoughts that serve you on your journey.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/repetition-magic
In Jenga, you don’t want to be the person who pulls out the piece that brings the whole tower crashing down. It’s high pressure, high stakes, and one wrong move ends the game. This isn’t the mindset that will help you quit viewing porn.
On the other hand, Super Mario Brothers involves dying over and over again, but you don’t start at the very beginning. You go again from your last checkpoint. This is the mindset that will help you use your slip-ups as growth opportunities, and I’m showing you how on this episode.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/jenga-super-mario-brothers
Inner child work is a healing modality that centers around recognizing and healing childhood trauma. It addresses how we may have experienced hurt or pain during different periods of our lives, which we've moved past but continue to carry with us. Taking responsibility for healing your inner child can be a beautiful way to heal who you are today.
I’m sharing some examples of inner child healing work from my program and what to expect as you begin healing those wounds. Discover how healing your inner child doesn’t just benefit you but can also heal ancestral or generational trauma and positively impact the lives of those around you too.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/intro-inner-child
Konstantin is an expert at setting and achieving ambitious goals. He has no problem with endeavors that require a great deal of dedication, willpower, and routine. Although everything else in his life was flourishing, he was internally battling with his porn habit, and he decided it was time to look for support.
Hear about Konstantin’s porn journey and what his unique path to healing looks like. He generously shares the struggles he faced in trying to quit his porn habit, the one thing that shifted his experience, and his advice for anyone who can resonate with his story and also wants a solution.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-konstantin
In today’s episode of the Keep It Simple series, we discuss how identities are sometimes imposed upon us. They are like seeds planted by others, blooming in our minds until they become the beliefs we have about ourselves. I’m showing you how to uncover some beliefs that are not true to you and how to unlearn them.
Learn the necessity of knowing the difference between beliefs and facts, how to pinpoint the beliefs that are keeping you from quitting porn, and how to create awareness about what you believe is a fact. Discover three steps to change your beliefs about yourself and discover why you need to be aware of things in order to change them.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/beliefs-identity
Andrea Giles is an infidelity coach who primarily works with women trying to heal after infidelity, and she’s here to explore the question, “Is porn use infidelity?”
Hear Andrea’s definition of infidelity and whether she believes unwanted porn use constitutes cheating in a relationship. We’re exploring how to gain an objective view of your situation, why independent healing matters, and her top tips for rebuilding a loving relationship with a shared vision moving forward.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/porn-use-infidelity-andrea-giles
On this Keep It Simple episode, we’re exploring the topics of emotions and buffering. I'm walking you through how to process emotions, the role of buffering in your porn habit, and how to generate the emotions that will help you achieve your goals.
Learn the importance of identifying how buffering shows up for you, why processing your emotions is a crucial step in overcoming your porn habit, why the shame cycle keeps you stuck, and how to heal those stories. Discover how to create the emotional fuel that will help you reach your goals.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotions-buffering
Dan started viewing porn at 15 by accident with his friends and has been battling it for over four decades. From various programs to tools like phone filters, he tried and failed at everything he thought would help him “be good,” until he found Overcome Pornography for Good.
Join us on this episode as Dan shares his pornography journey with us and how a shame-free approach changed his outlook on his habit. He’s offering the podcast episodes and concepts that had the biggest impact on him, and he discusses the transformations he’s witnessed in the last year and a half of doing this work.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-dan
If you want to quit porn, the best way to reach your goal is to keep the process simple. We make things unnecessarily complicated and confusing, so to continue our Keep It Simple series, we’re talking this week about step two: commitment.
Discover a new perspective on commitment to quitting porn. I’m discussing the problem with coming at your commitment from a place of fear and shame, and you'll learn how to reframe your thoughts around why you want to quit porn, increasing your chances of being successful in the process.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/commitment
Jill Freestone is an anxiety coach for teens and adults who specializes in helping them explore and understand life’s big emotions. She’s also an expert on the topic of OCD, and she’s here this week to highlight how OCD relates to people who want to quit porn and why understanding scrupulous tendencies can help steer you toward the path to healing.
Join us on this episode as Jill offers her insights on the basic characteristics of scrupulous OCD, why it becomes a problem, and how to identify if it may be present for you. We’re also diving into how scrupulous OCD keeps us stuck, why it feels like an obsession, and her top tips for beginning to question and heal these tendencies.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ocd-jill-freestone
There are six milestones I cover in the Overcome Pornography for Good program. The first thing I have my clients work on is Learn and Move On, where we work on avoiding all-or-nothing thinking and turn your slip-ups into stepping stones to successfully quitting porn.
Tune in this week to learn how to keep it simple when you’re quitting pornography. I’m showing you why you don’t need to give up every time you slip up, and you can use every challenge you encounter as an opportunity to Learn and Move On.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/learn-and-move-on
We are on the cusp of the New Year, which for many people often means thinking about all the changes we want to make and the new habits we want to create. We tend to focus on the negatives, but I’m proposing that we need to pay just as much attention, if not more, to all the wins you’ve experienced.
Join me this week as I take you through my Year in Review exercise and explain why this is going to set you up with the right energy as you enter 2024. Hear the value of acknowledging all your wins so far and imagining 2024 ahead of time, and questions that will guide you along this visualization process.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/year-review-visualizing-2024
“I’m feeling stuck, what do I do?” The thought, “I’m stuck,” is one all of us indulge in when the path ahead feels uncertain and unknown, but the truth is you’re not stuck and Coach Kat is here to show you why.
Listen in this week to discover why we default to saying we’re stuck even when we’re not, what it actually means to feel stuck, and Coach Kat’s top tips for getting unstuck no matter what you’re navigating right now.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/why-youre-stuck
This week’s Ask a Coach is from someone who found that if they view pornography early in the day, they don’t bother trying to avoid pornography until they get a fresh start the next day. This is common when people are trying to quit porn, it’s a product of all-or-nothing thinking, and it isn’t helping you find peace and ease in quitting porn.
Tune in this week to discover how to make sure a slip-up doesn’t ruin your day. I’m discussing how to measure your progress on your journey of quitting pornography, and showing you why slipping up isn’t a problem. Learn how to keep making progress toward your goal of quitting porn even if you’ve slipped up in the morning.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/slip-up
Is all shame bad? This is the premise of this week’s Ask a Coach question. The truth is, it all comes down to semantics, and my answer is both yes and no.
Hear my thoughts on why no emotion is inherently bad, how emotions can be either helpful or unhelpful, and how to identify whether the shame you’re experiencing is serving you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/good-shame-vs-bad-shame
"Does learning to process your urge to view porn feel so overwhelming that everything else in your life falls by the wayside?" This is the question Coach Tina is addressing on this week’s Ask a Coach episode.
Hear how to balance the skill of processing urges with the other goals you’ve set for yourself. Coach Tina is offering what could be happening if learning to process your urges feels overwhelming, and how to take care of yourself so it doesn’t feel like everything is slipping out of your grasp.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/reality-learning-new-skills
“Do you have any tips on not getting fed up or burnt out from all the urge processing?” If you also feel completely tired and overwhelmed, or find yourself falling into resistance rather than allowing your urges to view porn, listen in to hear Jessica’s answers.
Hear why the practice of processing the urge to view porn might be resulting in extreme tiredness and overwhelm, how self-care makes processing urges easier, and Jessica’s insights on five areas of self-care you must prioritize in your day-to-day.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ask-a-coach-self-care
Do you feel more antsy in your physical body as you view less porn? Maybe you can’t stop bouncing your legs or find yourself constantly fidgeting, and maybe it’s leading to a strong urge to view porn so you can stop feeling so antsy.
Join Jessica on this episode to hear her top tips for processing uncomfortable emotions, how all emotions have a shelf life, and the power of letting any emotion be present until it eventually dissipates.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotions-have-shelf-life
The question this week goes, “I feel like I’m in a bit of a rut. I got carried away with studying during post-grad, and I’m either slipping up or studying 24/7. How can I get back on track with processing urges?”
Join coach Kat on this episode to hear why you have to examine the stories you’re currently telling yourself, her suggestions for beginning to rewrite your stories, and her top tips for going on a treasure hunt for new thoughts that serve you on your journey of quitting porn.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/rewriting-your-stories
This week’s Ask a Coach question comes from someone who requested feedback on an intentional model. They put this model together to begin thinking new thoughts about their path to freedom from porn but have yet to fully believe in it.
Listen in this week to hear the model that was submitted for this question, understand why the question asker feels more trapped than free in the process of thinking new thoughts about their porn habit, and Coach Tina’s answers.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/thinking-new-thoughts
This week's question comes from someone who had a question in the commitment milestone worksheet about finding their compelling reason for wanting to quit porn. This person isn't convinced that their compelling reason is strong enough, and Tina is offering her thoughts.
Tune in today to hear why finding your compelling reason for quitting porn is essential, what happens when you use unhelpful emotions to drive your actions, and how to find your own compelling reason for why you might want to quit porn for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/compelling-reason
Overcome Pornography for Good coach Jessica Farmer is here to answer this week’s Ask a Coach question! Here's the question she's offering her thoughts on today: “I watched porn after being clean for six months. I feel a bit disappointed and shameful on one hand, but also feel guilty for not feeling guilty enough. Do you have any thoughts on what it looks like for me to come back from this?”
Join Jessica on this episode as she walks you through how to investigate what “feeling guilty enough” means to you, why it’s always worth challenging your brain on anything it offers, especially if it’s unhelpful, and the difference between the emotions of shame and guilt.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-vs-guilt
Our Overcome Pornography for Good coach, Kat, is on the show this week to answer today’s Ask a Coach question! The question she’s addressing is, “I realized that a part of me doesn’t want to let go of this habit yet, like there’s FOMO if I remove this habit from my life. How can I get my brain to stop fearing the idea of my new identity?”
Hear why this is a completely normal reaction to have, and a simple exercise you can try when you catch yourself in fear of missing out or resisting the idea of who you’re becoming as you overcome pornography.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ask-a-coach-missing-out
We are currently on a podcast season break and regular podcasting will resume January 1st 2024! While we’re on a hiatus, we are still going to be bringing you brand new content every single week by sharing an Ask a Coach Q&A from me or one of our coaches inside Overcome Pornography for Good.
Listen in today to hear my answer to the question of slipping up and processing the shame that comes from feeling like you’ve failed. I’m showing you why slipping up doesn’t mean you’re not progressing, and the importance of not discounting the work you’re doing, even if it isn’t manifesting right away.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ask-a-coach-slipping-up
We’re taking a short break, which is the perfect time for you to put into practice everything you’ve learned over the years. In this episode, the topic we’re covering is one of the things I want you to keep in mind during this season break: suffering versus pain.
Tune in this week to discover the difference between suffering and pain. I’m showing you where your suffering is really coming from, why suffering is not worse than pain, and what you can do to stop your suffering. We’re taking a three-month break from regular programming over here on the podcast, so listen in to find out what the show has in store in the meantime.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/suffering-vs-pain
It’s easy to fall into the trap of punishing yourself if you’re struggling with viewing porn. You might find yourself engaged in conversations with your spouse, family, friends, or religious leaders that are in breach of what feels safe to you. Whether they’re leaning on fear and shame tactics or want to know details you aren’t comfortable sharing, you are allowed to set boundaries while building deep connections and trust with those people.
Learn how boundaries can work in tandem with building honesty and transparency with the people you care about. You are the authority on your spiritual well-being, and I’m showing you how to make aligned decisions, even if that means setting boundaries in your relationships.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/boundaries-spouses-family-religious-leaders
Tyson Bradley is a certified life coach and founder of Inherent Identity, a company focused on empowering God-loving people to create identity-based changes that last. He’s here to offer a fresh view on sin and how this could be the most freeing work you can do in overcoming pornography.
Tune in today to hear Tyson’s insights on why we need to redefine what sin means and where it comes from. We’re discussing how our current beliefs about sin perpetuates shame, what we consider to be sinful behavior, and what can happen when we start seeing sin as a wound that needs healing versus a crime that needs punishing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/sin-tyson-bradley
This week, I'm bringing you the last "What's Possible" interview I have planned, and we're celebrating my client, Josh. Josh's story is filled with hope and connection, and he's truly an example of what you can achieve when you approach your porn habit with confidence and curiosity.
hear how Josh went from feeling intense pressure about quitting porn to successfully quitting by accepting that his progress with porn would never be linear. Josh shares his advice for dealing with slip-ups as you start quitting pornography, and we go deep into all the ways he has grown since he stopped struggling with pornography.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-josh
I'm joined by Jessica Farmer, one of the amazing coaches in my program Overcome Pornography for Good. This week, she's here to discuss her tips for disclosing porn use in your relationship.
Whether you are considering telling your spouse about your pornography use or you’ve already told them and it has become a point of contention, we’re exploring it all this week. Jessica shares her tips for disclosing your porn use to your partner, the potential issues that could arise from this and how to work through and even embrace the messiness that comes as a result.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/disclosure-tips-jessica
Like many of you who have the desire to heal your pornography habit, our client David developed a ton of shame, guilt, and insecurity about it. He went seven years without telling anybody he was viewing pornography. But when he finally did reach out for support, he transformed so much more than just his porn habit.
This week, David is sharing his porn journey with us and how coaching helped him realize that the tools he obtained can be applied to more than just quitting porn. He’s sharing the point at which he realized he needed support, the change that happened in his mindset, and where he is today.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-david
While our brains are programmed to look for what’s wrong with us, it’s not true that there’s always something wrong with you. Constantly fixing and solving what we perceive to be a problem is exhausting. And this week, I want to offer the idea that all parts of you are wise and have something valuable to offer, even the part of you that desires porn.
Discover why you don’t have to feel shame about your desire for porn, and how to redirect that energy in other ways by listening to it and learning from it. Hear why it’s worth exploring what you currently believe is a problem and how to use your bodily wisdom to create the life you want.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/fixing-things-exhausting
Heather Frazier is an awesome parenting coach for parents of teenagers. She had me on her podcast recently, and I’m sharing that conversation about parenting and pornography on today’s episode of Overcome Pornography for Good.
Discover the proven most effective way of protecting your children from the world of pornography. We’re discussing the value of proper age-appropriate sex-positive education, why your kids viewing pornography doesn’t mean that they’re addicted, and how to talk to your kids about their porn use in a productive way.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/pornography-parenting-heather-frazier
No matter our specific religion, the language we choose to use, or our relationship with God or the universe, the ability to feel loved, held, guided, and never alone is something that is innate to us. It’s our birthright, and according to Dr. Lisa Miller’s research, there are huge benefits to trusting in your spirituality.
I show you why developing the perception of being loved, held, guided, and never alone is an important part of healing your pornography journey. I’m sharing my own spiritual practice with you, the difference between head or body knowing versus heart knowing, and what happens when we go through life feeling loved, held, guided, and never alone.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/spirituality-loved-held-guided-never-alone
When it comes to work, your business, or any other aspect of your life, it can be easy to see that success is built on failures. While you might not believe it right now, this can be true for overcoming your porn habit too.
Hayden believes that failing fast and moving on has been a key part of the breakthroughs he’s experienced, and he’s here to share his journey with us. He’s offering his thoughts on the importance of being willing to do whatever it takes to change your habit and why it’s never about achieving perfection.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-hayden
There are many benefits to practicing spirituality when it comes to quitting porn. Spirituality can be both extremely beneficial, and I’m exploring both sides of the coin this week.
Discover how spirituality can become harmful and damaging, as well as a great tool to lean on when you’re trying to quit porn. I’m sharing some of my own personal spiritual experiences, and how you can use spirituality to practice unconditional love and compassion for yourself and others.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/using-spirituality
David Bedrick is the founder of the Santa Fe Institute for Shame-Based Studies, where he teaches therapists, coaches, and healers from around the world how to work with people in a new way. Healing from a pornography habit can be an extremely challenging and disturbing experience, and David's perspective is that it shouldn't be simply accepted. There are often hidden gifts in the shame that may arise, and we're exploring this on this episode.
David shares his own unshaming story and his unique approach to unshaming. He offers insights into why shaming ourselves never leads to change, the difference between guilt and shame, and what the practice of unshaming can look like in reality.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/unshaming-david-bedrick
Quitting porn for good is a goal that most of you are actively working towards. For some people, this idea excites and motivates them. However, it can also create pressure, fear, and doubt for many individuals.
Explore what it truly means to quit porn for good, and discover a helpful perspective that will shift you away from fear and doubt and empower you with control. I’m sharing how the notion of "for good" might be keeping you stuck, and why it doesn't have to be solely about never slipping up or viewing porn again.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/quit-for-good
Hear my conversation with Steve about his experience quitting porn and how instrumental the tools and coaching he received in my program were for his success. Discover how Steve learned to handle his urges, the compounding effect of consistency as you do this work, and how he developed the confidence to be porn-free.
You're not alone in your struggle to quit porn, and this conversation will show you just how much is possible when you're ready to do this work.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-steve
This week, I’m speaking with Madi Davis, a 19-year-old student whose mission is to help girls who struggle with pornography. She’s a freshman at BYU and the host of the Sisters On The Front Lines Podcast where she speaks about and aims to combat the shame surrounding young women struggling with pornography.
Madi’s mission is one we don’t talk about openly nearly enough, and this is a conversation that is so necessary. In a world where many women have repressed their sexuality and experience shame or trauma around it, curiosity and education are vital. Madi was brave enough to publicly share her own journey with pornography, and she’s here this week to offer her insights on young women grappling with porn use.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/young-women-pornography-madi-davis
As humans, it's common for us to derive our sense of worth from our productivity. However, when it comes to quitting porn, intertwining productivity and worthiness isn't actually helpful. In fact, it makes it even more challenging to overcome porn addiction. If you're ready for an alternative approach, this episode is for you.
Start recognizing how you link your worthiness to your productivity and learn how to break free from this mindset. I'm showing you precisely how this way of thinking affects your attempts to quit viewing porn, the unhelpful thoughts and emotions that arise when you base your worthiness on productivity, and how to begin cultivating feelings of worthiness and self-acceptance, regardless of your porn use.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/productivity-worthiness
A belief plan is simple in concept but requires hard work. It necessitates deep inner work that can be uncomfortable to face. However, the practice of examining your beliefs and cultivating new ones is vital when it comes to quitting habits like pornography, or any other area in your life where you desire change.
Discover what a belief plan is and why it is key, not just for achieving the goal of quitting porn, but for changing your life beyond this habit. I’m offering you a belief plan exercise you can use to start the work of overcoming pornography, as well as ideas for new thoughts to cultivate.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/belief-plan-2
Searching for the keys to navigating loneliness and cultivating healthy relationships while dealing with a pornography habit? Seeking guidance on how to disclose this part of your life to your partner?
Tune into our enlightening discussion as relationship and sex coach, Tammy Hill, offers practical advice on overcoming loneliness and building the relationship of your dreams. She'll shed light on the powerful impacts of nurturing an abundance mindset and taking care of our minds and bodies. Not only this, but she'll guide us on how to thrive in singleness and shed light on the tricky question - when is the right time to disclose your porn habit in a relationship?
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/loneliness-dating-tammy-hill
Whatever you're trying to create in your life, you're going to face challenges and difficulties, and it won't be easy. The River of Misery doesn't sound great. However, it's all about accepting the misery so we can start moving through it.
Discover why understanding the River of Misery will help you quit viewing pornography and never go back to it. I'm sharing the thoughts that make the River of Misery difficult to cross, and showing you how to see the patterns that are keeping you stuck so you can begin working on them and make it to the other side.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/the-river-of-misery
James had been viewing porn on and off since he was 11 years old, which adds up to over 40 years. He had always labeled himself as an addict and had heavy thoughts around his pornography use. However, with the approach we use in Overcome Pornography for Good, everything started to change for James.
Discover what is possible when you stop labeling yourself as an addict. James shares the beliefs he changed around his pornography use and what it means and dives into all the work we did in Overcome Pornography for Good that helped him quit porn and move forward with his life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-james
Overwhelm is one of those all-encompassing uncomfortable emotions that makes us feel frozen. Quitting porn requires some miserable growth periods, which means overwhelm will naturally be a part of your experience. The good news though is that overwhelm is not a problem, and it’s easier to make progress if you lean into it.
I’m sharing four strategies for breaking the cycle of overwhelm. Hear what typically happens if you resist overwhelm, why you’re not actually at the mercy of this emotion, and the importance of approaching learning new skills with tiny baby steps along the way.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/overwhelm
Lindsay Poelman is a life coach focused on helping people who are struggling with their spouse’s porn use and an expert in trauma-informed coaching, and she’s here this week to shed light on what relationship spirals mean, and how to get out of them.
Lindsay shares how relationship spirals have a lot to do with our individual conditioning. Hear why we have to first understand the context of our conditioning to untangle our relationship spirals, and how you’re both allowed to create a safe space for your own healing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/relationship-spirals-lindsay-poelman
When it comes to your own healing and quitting porn, there are so many opinions, thoughts, and ways to do it that can be offered to you out there. That’s why this might be one of the most important episodes that I ever share with you.
Hear why you have everything you need inside of you to heal and quit porn for good. I’m showing you how we’re conditioned to believe the authority lives outside of us, and why it’s vital to recognize nothing and no one is above questioning.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/you-are-the-authority
No matter how old you are, you can quit porn. My guest today is proof that it's possible. Jeff is 75 years old and had struggled with pornography since he was 14 years old. He had tried to quit many times over the years, but none of those attempts resulted in permanent change.
Jeff shares why his attempts to quit over the years didn’t work, how it affected his relationship with his wife, and how what he learned in the program changed everything. Jeff says he’s now free to live his life the way he wants to, and I want you to know that that freedom is possible for you too!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/quitting-porn-at-age-75
Many of us have received the conditioning that men are typically the sexual ones in a relationship and that they have an insatiable sexual need that has to be satisfied. To dive into this topic, I’m talking to sex coach Amanda Louder, host of the Sex for Saints podcast.
Hear why we have to reframe the belief that your spouse should fulfill your sexual needs. Amanda is sharing where this belief comes from, what you miss out on when you believe this messaging, and her top tips for what actually creates the best, most fulfilling sexual relationship.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/spouse-fulfill-sexual-needs-amanda-louder
Many of us were taught to be terrified of our sexuality. It’s something we don’t talk about openly, and maybe you think of it as evil or dangerous. However, the truth is sexuality and urges are something you have, so does everyone else and they live with us forever.
Discover how to control your sexual urges. I’m showing you how your sexuality can actually be your friend and companion, and why you don’t have to tame it by resorting to locking it away or hating it.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/control-your-sexual-urges
Thomas is a member of Overcome Pornography for Good and he struggled with porn on and off for 40 years. He decided he was ready to quit and did the work with our coach, Kat. He’s here to share his story and hopefully, impart his belief that you too can do it.
He’s offering the tools that made the biggest difference to his porn use, how he made the decision to commit to the work, and how he’s now showing up as a serene person who is more intentional with his time both at work and at home.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-thomas
When you feel shame around having viewed pornography, blame is never far behind. Whether you blame yourself and experience more shame or you find someone else to blame for what you’re going through, this is a trap many of my clients are stuck in when they first come to me.
Start the work of escaping the shame-blame trap. I’m sharing why, even though it’s difficult to talk yourself out of shame, you can move through it with compassion for yourself, without resorting to blaming others.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-blame-trap
I’m sharing a replay of one of the most important episodes of this podcast to date all about one of the foundational things you need to understand if you want to quit viewing porn and never go back to it: urges.
Discover why you don’t have to push your urges away or try to silence them. Like any new skill, there will be failures along the way. But when you are no longer scared of your urges, I promise, you’ll be able to approach them in a way that will completely change your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/essential-episodes-stop-fearing-urges
I have a special guest on the show this week. Kat Jenkins is one of the coaches in Overcome Pornography for Good and she recently completed some certifications in breathwork.
Discover what breathwork is and how it can help you quit viewing pornography for good. Kat and I are discussing how buffering with pornography impacts your nervous system, and how breathwork can bring ease and calm into your body when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/breathwork-kat-jenkins
You might be thinking that if you can just get through this week without viewing porn, then you’re on the right track. But the truth is, we need to look at the long term, and this requires that you stop thinking in weeks or even months, and start thinking in years.
Learn why thinking in years makes for more sustainable action than only looking at the short term, and how to benefit from the compound effect of implementing a long-term strategy.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/think-in-years
Tina Gosney is a Certified Family Relationship Coach who helps LDS parents who have a child leaving the church, and she’s also an incredible coach and asset in our Overcome Pornography for Good program.
Tina walks us through the 10 loopholes that keep you from changing. You’ll hear why you shouldn’t let these loopholes send you into a shame spiral if you relate to them, and how to start questioning the loopholes that your brain tries to offer you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/loopholes-tina-gosney
Have you ever found yourself feeling desensitized to porn and the process of trying to quit? You might feel miserable, exhausted, and just don’t care anymore.
Discover what might be leading you to feeling desensitized, and my recommendations for what to do when you find yourself feeling this way. You’ll hear how to listen to your body’s signals in these moments, and why, when you do, you’ll be able to quit viewing porn so much easier and faster.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/feeling-desensitized
Tune in this week for a simple exercise that will help you understand what’s going on in your brain when you have intrusive thoughts on a deeper level. I’m sharing why trying to stop, avoid, or question your intrusive thoughts will only make them worse, and how to instead accept them and let them pass.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/pink-elephant-and-intrusive-thoughts
Tune in this week to discover what your anger is trying to tell you, and how to keep the focus on yourself as you work through anger that relates to other people. I’m sharing some stories from my own life about anger, why anger is just a package, and how to start unpacking your anger in a way that helps you let it go.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/anger
Discover where you’re choosing indulgence over self-love and the important differences between the two. I’m sharing how our brains find it so difficult to show ourselves compassion and some thoughts you can try to show up with more self-love when you need it most.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/self-love-is-not-indulgence
Tune in this week to dig deeper into your story of you. I’m giving you a practical exercise to get clear on the ways your story of you is leaving you feeling unworthy and shameful, so you can get clear on the facts of your story and how your thoughts about these facts are making your story feel a whole lot worse.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/the-story-of-you
This week, I’m sharing a year-in-review exercise I love doing at the end of a year. It’s very simple, but if you carve out the time to do it, I promise you will be in awe of where you are right now and excited about everything you are about to accomplish by the end of this year.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/year-in-review-visualization
Discover my one lesson to the world. I’m discussing with Michael Anderson how change happens not when we’re shamed into a different behavior, but when we align ourselves with our values while loving and accepting ourselves. I’m sharing the mindset tools that changed everything for me, why I chose this work, and we’re sharing how we help our clients toward self-acceptance.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/one-lesson-michael-anderson
Discover how to start creating trust after betrayal trauma. Geoff Steurer addresses the pain that occurs on both sides of the situation, what the porn viewer can do to heal themselves as they heal their relationship, and the power of coregulation as you move through betrayal trauma, navigate shame and begin to rebuild trust and intimacy.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/betrayal-trauma-geoff-steurer
Chaz shares his experience of struggling with pornography and learning the skills of overcoming this habit, all while making it work within his faith beliefs. He’s sharing the trajectory of his porn use, why he felt stuck, and the concepts that made the biggest difference in helping him get out of this cyclical loop.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-chaz
Discover my top lessons from 100 episodes of Overcome Pornography for Good. I’m discussing what I’ve learned in regard to being productive without burning out, showing up with commitment and effort, how to make the difficult things fun, the importance of focusing on happiness as well as success, and the things that have kept me going on this podcasting journey so far!
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/top-lessons-from-100-episodes
Can you guarantee success? The truth is, no one else can guarantee success for you, but you can make it a certainty for yourself. Nobody else out there can do the work for you. This is all about taking responsibility for your own healing and cultivating a mindset that makes success inevitable. And this week, I'm showing you how.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/guarantee-success
Discover how to start laser-focusing on the goals that are most important to you. This is one of the lessons that has changed my life dramatically, and laser focusing on one thing at a time will change everything for you as well, allowing you to love yourself as you are, and achieve your goals from that place.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/laser-focus
Discover what to do when you don’t believe you can do something. We’re talking about this in relation to quitting porn, but you can apply this logic to any goal you’re pursuing. I’m sharing how to start developing real self-trust by taking small, practical steps, so you can start believing that whatever you want to achieve really is possible.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/you-can-do-it
Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This is what radical acceptance means. Practicing radical acceptance won’t mean you’ll stay stuck, it's what will fuel the change you want. So this week, I’m offering my favorite sentences that you can add to your Emotion Doc to help you access this emotion.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotion-doc-radical-acceptance
I’m introducing you to a great tool you’re going to want to start using immediately: the Emotion Doc. Hear what my Emotion Doc entails, and how you can apply it to any emotion you want to try on. I’m sharing the thoughts that help me access certainty and one vital question to ask yourself as you consider accessing certainty, so you can attain any goal you set for yourself.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotion-doc-certainty
Discover the difference between nurturing yourself and numbing. You’ll hear some questions you can ask yourself to identify what you need most in moments when you are tempted to numb with pornography, and why nurturing yourself is not the same as running away from your emotions.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/nurture-vs-numbing
Discover what is really creating the feeling that your porn habit is out of control. Whether you’re feeling shame around your porn use, or you just don’t understand it, I’m showing you why it’s okay to have bad habits, as long as we acknowledge them, and I’m giving you everything you need to know to show up with integrity and regain a sense of control over your pornography habit.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/out-of-control
Join me this week as I show you how to retrain your brain, and what this retraining of your brain will require of you. You’ll discover why, while retraining your brain can be simple, it won’t necessarily be easy, and some important considerations to keep in mind as you practice this process.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/retrain-your-brain
Discover how the reward system in our brains has been vital to our survival, and why it’s become a modern-day problem. I’m showing you why we don’t have to be at the mercy of our brain’s reward system, and how to recognize that your craving for porn is no different from any other dopamine-producing substance.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/reward-system-over-desire
In the final installment of this three-part interview, Ryan offers his research and findings on beginning to understand shame in a new way. We’re discussing the difference between guilt and shame, the dangers of equating these two emotions, and what you can do to combat shame, instead of continuing to feed it.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-ryan-hewitt
Tune in this week for a deeper understanding of the psychological tension that keeps people going back to porn time and time again. We’re discussing why simply changing the behavior of viewing porn isn’t going to help with the discomfort of moral incongruence, and Ryan is sharing what the research says is the best way to approach changing your pornography use.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/moral-incongruence-ryan-hewitt
In part one of this three-part series, Ryan Hewitt shares his fascinating research on addiction and porn. You’ll discover how, in many cases, perceived addiction around porn is rooted in an internal battle rather than an actual addiction, and why we have to be cautious about labeling our impulses as an addiction.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/addiction-ryan-hewitt
Discover everything you need to know about being worthy and creating the feeling of worthiness. I’m sharing why you don’t have to change your behavior in order to feel worthy, why quitting porn in itself isn’t where your worthiness is going to come from, and how you can create worthiness right now, regardless of your actions.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/worthiness
This week, learn how to recognize that you are not your thoughts. I’m showing you why we have certain thoughts that we seem to keep thinking no matter how hard we try not to, and how to start becoming an observer of your thoughts to allow more peace and self-love as you move towards your goals.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/you-are-not-your-thoughts
Discover new insights and perspectives around the relationship between the LGBTQ+ community, the Church, and viewing pornography. We’re discussing how religion impacted TJ’s experience of processing his sexual orientation, why pornography use doesn’t influence your sexual orientation, and the importance of dismantling the internalized homophobia that makes acknowledging and exploring one’s sexuality so difficult.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/LQBTQ+-porn-tj-thomas
Tina and I dive into a three-part concept called The Success Circle. You’ll learn what The Success Circle entails, how each element interacts with each other, and what is required of you to create incremental progress towards your goals.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/success-circle-with-tina
If you’re truly sick and tired of porn controlling you, you no longer believe the narrative that you’ll have to struggle forever, or you believe you’re capable of anything, but for some reason, porn has been the one thing you can’t seem to get rid of, join me this week. You'll hear how private coaching might be exactly what you need to change your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/lessons-from-private-coaching
Discover how the feeling of loneliness contributes to a pornography habit. I’m sharing the impact of the thoughts you have around your loneliness, how to recognize these thoughts when they come up, and I’m showing you how to change the narrative that your loneliness is something that needs a quick and temporary fix.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/loneliness
Sometimes, the problem isn’t that you just suck. Sometimes, the problem is that you need to take a look at the systems and the way you’re going about where you’re trying to get.
Join me to discover how, maybe, the problem isn’t you if you’re struggling to quit viewing pornography.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/problem-isnt-you
Discover why quitting porn is possible, even if you’ve never made it a day without viewing porn in the past. I’m sharing how to see why your past doesn’t define your future, and how to start focusing solely on your future to give up pornography for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/past-vs-future-focus
I clarify confusion about buffering and show you where you might be going in the wrong direction with it. I’m showing you the true reason you’re experiencing unwanted porn use, what it really takes to finally quit, and where buffering falls in all of this.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/confusion-about-buffering
Fearing automatic sexual thoughts is not a fun way to live your precious life. If you’re afraid you’ll have a reaction you don’t want, or that you’ll freak out when it happens, you’re in the right place. The truth is this is a completely normal part of our human experience, and this week, I’m showing you how to shift your experience of your automatic sexual thoughts.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/automatic-sexual-thoughts
Discover the power of neutralizing your unwanted porn habit. I’m showing you why you can’t quit long-term from a place of indulging in dramatic, intense emotions, and how to generate emotions that will help you sustain not only quitting porn, but any habit you want to create in your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/neutralize
I show you how to examine your “I’ll never quit” thoughts so you can start chipping away at them. You’ll discover why these thoughts stop you from finding a solution to quitting pornography, and how to practice disproving these thoughts so you can replace them with something more empowering.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/ill-never-quit-thoughts
So many people are hurting, wounded, and suffering in silence from sexual shame. These wounds are painful and harmful, and they aren’t necessary. If this is you, know that you deserve healing from that. In this week’s episode, I’m showing you how to become aware of the stories that are fueling your sexual shame, and how to start healing your relationship with your sexuality.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/healing-wounds-sexual-shame
If you’re currently seeking an accountability group or partner to help you quit porn, listen in. I’m offering why accountability is not the answer to finally figuring out your porn habit, and how to start building the muscle of self-trust so you can accelerate your results.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/pitfalls-of-accountability
On this week’s What’s Possible interview episode, you’re hearing from my client Sam. His history with unwanted pornography is one I think so many of you, if not all of you, are going to resonate with, and even though you might not believe it right now, you’re going to leave this episode with hope that this habit doesn’t have to be your truth forever.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-sam
Logan is on the show today to share his journey of struggling with pornography, the soul searching he had to do along the way, and his experience of coming out on the other side with a new belief in himself. He’s here to challenge the narrative that you have to struggle with porn forever, and instead, that it’s normal and doable to overcome this habit.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-logan
Cannon shares the biggest transitions and most significant breakthroughs he’s experienced in the last year. He’s a shining example of how this work is about so much more than just quitting porn, and why he had to be willing to be wrong about who he is as a person and what he’s capable of.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-cannon-goslin
I show you how you might be making your struggle with your most difficult urge harder than it needs to be. You’ll discover why avoidance is not the same as overcoming the urge, and the key to finding a real long-term solution.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/your-most-difficult-urge
I highlight the three things that are keeping you stuck in porn. You’ll hear why tracking progress by the number of days without porn isn’t effective, the power of learning to examine your thoughts, and why going through the discomfort of your urges doesn’t have to be as miserable as it feels right now.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/3-things-that-keep-you-stuck-in-porn
If you’re ready to stop settling for feeling unworthy, accepting lies about yourself, and the exhaustion that comes along with trying to use willpower at every turn, listen in. I’m showing you why buffering with pornography has you settling for a life you’re not excited about, and how to stop so you can finally create a life you really want.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/stop-settling
I show you how to break free from the ropes of your limiting beliefs. You can truly have anything you want if you’re willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it, and I’m sharing the work necessary to start changing your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/elephant-limiting-beliefs
I’m sharing what it means to process an urge and a three-step process that will help you process your urges whenever you feel them come up. You can use what I’m teaching you today with any emotion in your life, so tune in to find out exactly how to do it and how this can help you give up pornography for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/how-do-i-process-an-urge
We dive into the top things they coach on and 6 things you really need to know as you work on changing your unwanted porn use. We’re discussing the importance of examining your limiting beliefs, how to start listening to your body, and why tuning into gratitude and celebration is more crucial than you might think.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/6-key-lessons-kat-tina
I show you why the Choose Again method is so powerful for habit change. I’m laying out the three simple steps of this concept, explaining why it’s not about catapulting ourselves to happiness and dismissing our human experience, and showing you how to implement this practice to overcome unwanted porn use.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/choose-again
I guide you through the one skill that will make overcoming the porn habit 10 times easier. I’m showing you why hating yourself through any challenge only produces more discouragement and confusion, and how to instead get to a place where you can make informed decisions and build beliefs that will spark the change you want.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/how-to-make-it-10x-easier
I show you why conditional commitment will always stop you in your tracks, and why practicing unconditional commitment is a game-changer when it comes to changing your habits. You’ll discover why all goals require unconditional commitment, and how to start thinking about what you want in life through this lens.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/conditional-commitment
I offer how the 50-50 principle can be an incredibly powerful tool when we apply it to ourselves. I’m showing you what happens when we resist this fact, what happens when we can truly allow for our human duality, and I’m also giving you an exercise to practice to help you generate compassion for yourself on this journey.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/duality-good-and-bad
This week, I’m introducing you to a concept called hard vs. harder.You might be framing your work to overcome porn with the question, “Is it going to be hard? Is it going to take too much energy and effort?” The truth is, it will be hard, but it’ll be even harder to continue to give in, to stay stuck for even a day longer, riddled with shame, feeling unproductive, lost, and lonely. So this week, I invite you to choose a hard that gets you where you want to be.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/hard-vs-harder
Listen in this week as I offer my tips for building the skill of planning ahead of time. You’ll discover why this is such an integral part of being intentional about how you live your life, what happens when decision fatigue kicks in, and what to look out for as you begin practicing planning ahead of time.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/planning-ahead-of-time
If you currently believe your sexuality is morally wrong, or have bought into all the ways sexuality gets a bad rap, join us on this episode. Jennifer is dropping some serious gems around how we frame our human sexuality in unhelpful ways, the keys to creating an intimate partnership that feels amazing, and what drives our compulsions for things that don’t serve us.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/sexuality-force-for-good-dr-jennifer-finlayson-fife
I show you how healing is the key to getting to the root of your porn habit. Overcoming pornography is not something you can force yourself through, and I’m showing you the reason so many people start here, and how it halts your progress.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/life-changing-healing-mindset
We are sexual beings, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I urge you to drop your sexual shame, and learn why demonizing our sexuality leads to more problems. Discover why this is the key to quitting porn for good, and how accepting your sexuality opens you up to so much more peace and calm.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/we-are-sexual-beings
If you’ve heard me say you have to fail, and you’ve interpreted that to mean it’s not worth trying, listen in closely this week. I’m sharing the difference between progressive failure and justification failure, why practicing the former will have you surprised at how much faster you’ll be able to quit, and showing you how applying this concept to other areas of your life will leave you amazed at what else you can accomplish.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/progressive-failure-vs-justification-failure
In this episode, I’m inviting you to be willing to fail over and over again. The truth is that your success at quitting porn is literally built on your ability to fail and get back up to try again. The more tolerance you have for failure and slip-ups, the quicker you’ll succeed at overcoming the habit, and I’m showing you why this week.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/failure-tolerance
Quinn exemplifies how your past is not a reflection of your future and what's possible for you to accomplish. He’s sharing how our work together has created breakthroughs and transformations for him, and how, at 64, he’s now making career changes and putting himself out there to help others.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/whats-possible-quinn-felix
Join me this week as I show you why staying in this cycle of unrealistic expectations is so problematic, and how to stop the cycle so you can move closer to the changes you want to see by taking small, realistic steps towards it consistently.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/realistic-expectations
Lindsay gives us insight into the importance of recognizing and addressing betrayal trauma. After her own experience of it and discovering the tools that helped her heal, she’s here to offer tips for minimizing the extent of your trauma, and to light a path towards empowerment and trust.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/betrayal-trauma-lindsay-poelman
I share 5 of my best tips for staying committed to your New Year’s goals. I’m showing you why so many people quit on themselves, what progress really looks like versus what you think it should look like, and how to use the New Year energy to your advantage.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/new-years-goals
Listen in to discover the identity shift you are undergoing as you learn to quit porn. Becoming a new person is part and parcel of this work, but I’m showing you how to give yourself the permission to do so, and the only difference between who you are now and who you want to be.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/becoming-a-new-person
Discover why, without learning the skill of emotional regulation, quitting pornography will be impossible. I’m showing you why being able to sit with your feelings is the key to creating anything you want in life, and I’m sharing my best tips and tools to help you begin practicing doing just that.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/emotional-regulation
I share my 4 tips for learning how to mindfully manage your urges. I’m showing you why you might be feeling stuck in a cycle of willpower energy right now, and what it means to just allow your urges to exist so you truly don’t have to be afraid of them.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/mindful-urge-management
Discover how to develop the true shame-free commitment required for overcoming pornography. I’m sharing the conditioning and limiting beliefs that keep people stuck in their porn habit, and how you can move away from relying on shame and towards a porn-free life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-free-commitment
I show you the price you pay when you choose the short-term pleasure of overindulgence over your long-term wellbeing. I’m offering that it’s not only safe and loving to say no, but that it could even be beneficial to feel an unanswered desire.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/overindulgence
I introduce you to a mind-blowing concept that will teach you how to see yourself and the world around you differently. You don’t have to believe what your lenses are showing you right now, and you can choose to switch them up if you want, and I’m showing you how.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/lenses
I’m showing you how to become the observer of your thoughts and how doing so will enable you to change your pornography habit. Being the observer will teach you so many things about your porn habit that you need to know, so I’m showing you how to observe yourself and stop believing everything your brain is telling you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/the-observer
I share the lessons I’ve learned in my work helping returning missionaries who struggle with porn use. I’m showing you why returning missionaries often struggle with porn, and I’m listing 8 things that are not effective in solving for porn use, and showing you what to do instead.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/post-mission-porn-use
Discover how to give less attention to your present desires, so you can fulfill your future desire of overcoming pornography for good. So many people want to quit porn because they’ve been told to by their parents or their spouse, but I’m sharing why these reasons alone aren’t enough to stop the short-term urge, and how to come up with a truly compelling why instead.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/present-vs-future-desire
This week I'm showing you why an all-or-nothing mindset stagnates your progress, and how minuscule improvements over time are more powerful than you might think. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be courageous enough to take it one day at a time, and I’m guiding you through it.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/compound-effect
This week, I lay out the 3 things we can do when we feel an urge. I’m showing you how two of those options have you either acting outside of your value system, or furthering you from where you ultimately want to be, and how the third option available to you is the key to handling any urge with confidence and ease.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/resist-react-allow
I lay out the 3 biggest problems with believing Satan is in charge of your sexual urges. Your urges aren’t dangerous or evil, and trying to overcome porn with this framework is not effective, so I’m showing you where your urges actually come from, and why this will feel so much more freeing as you work to understand your over desire for pornography.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/sexual-urges-satan
I outline some shame-inducing thoughts about porn that you might be believing right now, but that simply aren’t facts. For so many people, shame is the root of their porn use, and I’m inviting you to notice how you show up when you’re drowning in shame, and recognize that choosing shame is completely optional.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-2
Discover the difference between your lower brain and your higher brain, and how the two of them interact. Your lower brain seems powerful, but it’s nothing compared to your higher brain, and I’m showing you three tools you can start using right now to override your lower brain’s urges.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/lower-higher-brain
Discover exactly what is going on in your brain when you desire porn. Contrary to what you might believe, wanting to watch porn doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your brain, and just because you want it now and you’re struggling to control your urges, it doesn’t have to be this way forever.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/why-we-desire
Discover how to make a Belief Plan, so you can start to see what’s possible for you. I have faith in your ability to quit pornography, and by the end of this episode, I hope you’ll see that believing in yourself and your ability to overcome porn is an option for you too.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/belief-plan
Listen in this week as I show you how going through your pain is a beautiful act, but it’s one that is not easy. I’m encouraging you to stop running from your pain, and instead, to be open to the truth that healthy individuals feel pain and use it to heal and empower themselves to create change.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/power-of-pain
I’m sharing the problem with thinking “I can’t” and showing you how to reframe your mindset to feel more empowered. If you’re having a hard time committing to giving up pornography, looking at your beliefs is a great place to start. So this week, I’m showing you how to challenge your thoughts and beliefs and replace them with ones that serve you better.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/i-cant
Discover how the thought, “I shouldn’t be here” keeps you stuck where you are right now. I’m inviting you to come at this thought with curiosity instead of resistance, and you’ll start to see what an amazing opportunity questioning this thought is in helping help you quit porn for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shouldnt-be-here
There is one thing that all of my clients have in common: difficulty accepting themselves. They want to change, and that’s great, but the truth is, you can’t make a positive change in your life if you don’t accept yourself. And that’s the work I’m helping you with on this episode.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/accepting-yourself
As humans, we’re wired to do anything we can to avoid feeling our emotions, and this is exactly how a porn habit thrives. But if you listen closely this week and take action to stop fearing your feelings and instead be willing to truly feel them, the work of quitting porn becomes so much easier, and we’re taking a deep dive into how you can start this work right now.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/stop-fearing-feelings
Tune in this week as I ask Dr. Julie Hanks your questions about your own faith challenges. We’re discussing some difficult topics, why it’s okay to struggle and not agree with every aspect of the LDS doctrine, and how to decide for yourself what is righteous and what the spirit is telling you.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/faith-challenges-dr-julie-hanks
If you feel like you’re never doing enough in your attempt to overcome pornography, or you’re starting to feel like you don’t care anymore and that’s adding to your feeling of shame, listen in this week. The shame apathy trap can make us think we just need to care more and do more, but I’m showing you how that’s the wrong place to focus on.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/shame-apathy-trap
In this episode, I’m sharing the #1 key to quitting pornography and showing you how to develop a skill that will allow you to accomplish great things in your life. I’m sharing the importance of feeling your emotions and why learning how to do this will completely change your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/key-to-quitting-pornography
Join me on the podcast this week as I put your questions to Lindsay Poelman around what to do if your partner is struggling with porn. Lindsay is sharing the story of how she found coaching, the difference it’s made in her marriage, and how you can empower yourself in navigating the ebbs and flows of a marriage.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/partner-struggling-porn-lindsay-poelman
Discover why the fear that so many people feel around quitting porn is not the motivator you need if you want to break the habit. I’m sharing why love and hope will always take you further than fear and how you can work on overcoming any fear around porn, so you can overcome pornography for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/fear-future
How to be more curious in your journey of overcoming pornography, and less judgmental. I’m sharing why curiosity will always move you through any process quicker than judgment, and what you can do to reframe those occasions when you do decide to view pornography despite trying to quit.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/curiosity-vs-judgment
Motivation doesn’t get you anywhere. Motivation doesn’t last, and truthfully, waiting on motivation will keep you from doing anything big, meaningful, or important with your life, and that includes quitting pornography. What you need is more commitment, and in this episode, I’m showing you how to cultivate the discipline and commitment required to change your pornography usage.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/commitment-vs-motivation
Join me on the podcast this week for a greater understanding of how your urges flow, and how to handle them when they come back time and again. You’ll discover how to live with the urge and analyze where it comes from, instead of getting caught up in negative thoughts because of your desire to view porn.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/urge-flow
Join me on the podcast this week to discover the principle of 50-50, and how understanding it will be key in overcoming pornography for good. I’m sharing where there is indisputable evidence that life is 50% positive and 50% negative, and how embracing it has changed my life and so many of my clients’ lives.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/50-50
Where our sexual shame comes from, and why no matter how much of it you feel, it’s never going to help you quit viewing porn or anything else. Instead, I’m sharing where to focus if you want to quit porn, and giving you some reasons that work for my clients, rather than trying to quit because they’re ashamed of themselves.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/sexual-shame
Why describing yourself as an addict might be making overcoming pornography even more difficult than it already is. I’m sharing how I classify an addiction, and I’m giving you the tools you need to change your self-concept, so you can start to become somebody who just doesn’t need porn to feel happy.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/self-concept-addiction
Discover what to do when you slip up. I’m discussing how to be the observer of what led to you viewing porn in the first place, and giving you questions so you can process the guilt that comes up for you before it turns into shame and self-loathing.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/when-you-slip-up
Discover why you have way more control over your desires than you might think. I’m sharing where the feelings of deprivation and desire come from, why your past attempts to quit porn have failed, and what you can do to give yourself some power in this situation and finally ditch the habit for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/deprivation
Join me on the podcast this week to discover how to embrace the discomfort of quitting pornography. I’m showing you the stories we tell ourselves that stop us from even really trying to do something we know is going to be difficult, and how to apply what you already know from other areas of your life to break your porn habit for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/when-its-really-difficult
Join me on the podcast this week to discover what is lying beneath the surface of your porn habit. I’m sharing the emotions I see coming up for my clients that they never wanted to see were at play. And once you can get clear on what’s causing the behavior you want to change, that’s when you can start working on overcoming pornography for good.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/iceberg-emotions
Discover why we should never feel negative emotion around our sexual urges. I’m sharing why these impulses are a matter of physiology, not morality, and how to neutralize the urge in your mind, so you can deal with it in a way that feels more aligned with how you want to live your life.
Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.sarabrewer.com/blog/physiology-morality
Join me on the podcast this week to discover the differences between sins and weaknesses in the eyes of God. And when you understand this difference, you will be in a much better position to decide whether your habit is really a sin, or whether it’s just an area of human weakness that every single one of us experiences in some form or another.
Get full show notes and more information here: sarabrewer.com/blog/sin-weakness
Something happens when you quit viewing porn that might catch you by surprise.
When we quit, we expect to feel great, motivated, confident.
In reality, when you quit porn, you will feel terrible. All of the stuff that you have been avoiding and buffering from will come to the forefront of your mind. You will feel all of the negative emotions that you’ve been avoiding.
In today’s episode, I talk about what to do when that happens. Bring a notebook and take some notes!
Sara
In today's episode we talk about the label addiction.
My personal opinion is that we use this term too liberally when it comes to porn, especially in LDS culture.
Join me in the episode to learn the criteria I use when deciding if someone is addicted or not and how you can apply it to yourself.
See you there!
In today's episode of Overcome Pornography for Good we talk about Situational Joy.
Situational joy is waiting to feel joy until our situations are ideal. Situational joy shows up when we think, "i'll feel good once I lose the weight", "I'll feel good once I get the promotion", "I'll feel good once I get married", and of course, "I'll feel good once I quit pornography".
There are a few problems with this way of thinking.
The best way to quit porn is to practice feeling what you would allow yourself to feel once you've already quit.
Join me in today's episode to learn how.
Work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
In today's episode of Overcome Pornography for Good, we talk about the difference between fact and story.
This is important, because the facts of your life do not determine your results. The story that you tell yourself determines your results.
We dive into what this means specifically in regards to pornography.
If you want a different life, you need to tell yourself a different story.
I’ll teach you how to do that in this episode.
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
In today's episode we talk about why surrendering is such an important part of the process to quitting porn.
I'm not talking about surrendering as in accepting defeat or accepting that pornography has power over you. I'm not talking about surrendering as in giving up. I'm talking about surrendering to the experience of being a human.
We typically want to fight our urges to view pornography. Fighting is a sign of willpower, and willpower is never a long-term solution to quitting any habit, especially pornography. You don't need to fight anymore. Fighting is exhausting.
Join me in today's episode to learn how to stop fighting and start surrendering. This will make your journey to quitting pornography much easier.
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
In today's episode we talk about all or nothing mindset. This is one of the most common things I see with my clients.
All or nothing mindset looks like, “I already messed up today, so I am not going to try for the rest of the day”, “I can’t start until i’m 100% sure I can do this”, and by counting progress as number of days without pornography instead of counting progress as number of urges processed.
In reality, quitting pornography is like learning any new skill. Failure does not keep us from quitting, it teaches us and helps us to become stronger as long as we learn from it.
You will love this episode.
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
In today's episode we talk about shame spirals.
It's important to stay connected to your emotions because your emotions cause your actions. Shame is not a useful emotion when it comes to quitting pornography or other habits. Shame always causes you to hide and avoid. Many people believe that shame is a motivator, when in fact it is the opposite. It is a de-motivater. You can not hate yourself into change.
Shame comes from thoughts, not from looking at pornography. Shame comes from thoughts that have the underlying message of, "there is something wrong with me".
We find ourselves in shame spirals when we 1. thing something is wrong with me 2. feel shame 3. hide and avoid. 4. view pornography to escape the shame --> and then starting the cycle all over.
Join me in todays episode to learn how to combat this shame cycle!
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
In todays episode we talk about urges. Urges is another word for the feeling of desire. Many of you are afraid of urges because you think that if you feel an urge, you will look at pornography.
I want to show you that urges are nothing to be afraid of.
And I want to give you new tools to handling urges when you feel them.
Join me in today's episode to learn how to stop fearing urges and how to stop giving into urges.
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
In today's episode we talk about the identity you have taken on as a pornography viewer. Changing this identity is required for quitting pornography for good. In this episode we talk about how to change this identity.
We also talk about limiting beliefs that keep you from quitting porn and how to change those beliefs. Some of these limiting beliefs are, "it's too hard to quit porn" "I like it too much" "I'm not strong enough to quit".
As a celebration for the launch of the show, I am giving away one free adult electric scooter and three $50 Amazon gift cards. For details on entering the giveaway, go to sarabrewer.com/podcastlaunch
If you want to access my free training, visit https://www.sarabrewer.com/free-training-opt-in-page
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. Visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
It today's episode we talk about over-desire. Over-desire is the reason that your urges feel automatic. Over-desire can be un-trained and un-learned. We talk about how in the show.
You'll also learn my method for deciding if someone is addicted to pornography or not. I define addiction as a behavior that keeps you from living a normal, functioning life. Many of you call yourselves addicts even though you don't fit this description. I talk about why that might be harmful to you in this episode.
As a celebration for the launch of the show, I am giving away one free adult electric scooter and three $50 Amazon gift cards. For details on entering the giveaway, go to sarabrewer.com/podcastlaunch
If you want to access my free training, visit https://www.sarabrewer.com/free-training-opt-in-page
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
Join me in today's episode as we talk about one main thing that is keeping you in a pornography habit, and that is your need to escape negative emotion.
"Pornography has nothing to do with sexual appetites and everything to do with escape"
Understanding this will change everything for you.
Join me in this episode to learn more!
To access my free training, "How to Quit Viewing Pornography Even If You've Tried in the Past" visit https://www.sarabrewer.com/masterclass
Ready to commit to quitting pornography? I would love to be your coach. visit this link to work with me: https://www.sarabrewer.com/workwithme
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