Opening Arguments

Latest Episodes:

John Yoo Wrote the Torture Memos and Never Paid for It. At All. Sep 30, 2026

Show notes

VR45 - Today on Vapid Response: 25 years after the terror attacks of September 11, 2001, we look back on the Forrest Gump of monstrously bad legal takes: former DOJ lawyer and current UC Berkeley law professor (!) John Yoo. We go back to the primary sources to show how the Office of Legal Counsel explicitly authorized torture, indefinite detention in Guantanamo Bay, and warrantless surveillance of U.S. citizens before giving Secretary of State Marco Rubio a chance to explain why the world should never hold the United States accountable for any of it.

Cases and sources discussed:

“Time to Think About Torture,” Jonathan Alter, Newsweek (11/4/2001)
“Is There a Tortuous Road to Justice?” Alan M. Dershowitz, LA Times (11/8/2001)
Memorandum for John Rizzo, Acting Counsel for the CIA, DOJ Office of Legal Counsel (August 1, 2002)
Possible Habeas Jurisdiction Over Aliens Held in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, Patrick Philbin & John Yoo (December 28 2001)
Constitutionality of Amending Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act to Change the "Purpose " Standard for Searches, John Yoo (9/25/2001)
“Why We’re Dismantling the ICC,” Secretary of State Marco Rubio (July 14, 2026)

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From Toga Guy to John Hinckley: A History of Pleading Insanity Sep 28, 2026

Show notes

OA1300 - The “insanity defense” might sound like a relic of a time when mental illness was viewed through the lens of demons and witches, and it turns out it is… but also maybe it’s kind of woke? Jenessa walks us through the history of Old English and Early American iterations of the defense, various tests that are applied today, and what happens afterwards that most people don’t get to see.

Cases and sources discussed:

Chris Liberati-Conant “It’s Time To Take ‘Hygiene’ out of the Mental Hygiene Law”
Legal Information Institute summary of insanity defenses
NY Criminal Procedure Law § 330.20
“Law and the Mental Health System”

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He Went to Prison for Bribing Susan Collins. She's... Totally Fine Somehow? Sep 25, 2026

Show notes

OA1299 - This week on Rapid Response Friday: what crimes might Senator Susan Collins (R-ME) have been complicit in, and why won't she ever be prosecuted for any of them? We go deeper into the law behind the facts exposed in ProPublica's outstanding investigation into her SuperPAC's coordination of illegal campaign contributions from a naval defense contractor.

We then take a closer look at another damning investigation, this time of the Florida state-run immigration facility formerly known as "Alligator Alcatraz" from a surprising source: the Department of Homeland Security's Office of the Inspector General. We already knew this place was an illegal black site polluting a delicate Everglades ecosystem on tribal lands, but this report documents something much worse. If a Trump loyalist is willing to put some of this stuff into writing how much worse must the truth be?

Finally, in this week's footnote: yet another dismal milestone for AI in the law as a New Mexico attorney is forced to defend an appellate brief in which ChatGPT made up the law and the facts.

Cases and sources discussed:

“The FBI Anti-Corruption Squad Was Circling Susan Collins — Until Trump Got in the Way,” William Turton, Avi Asher-Schapiro, Molly Redden, and Kristen Berg, ProPublica (9/22/2026)
Indictment in U.S. v. Kao et al (2/10/2022)
“Unannounced Inspection of ICE’s Florida Soft-Sided Facility (“Alligator Alcatraz”) in Ochopee, Florida,” Department of Homeland Security Office of Inspector General (9/11/2026)
In Re Stephen Aarons, New Mexico Supreme Court #S-1-SC-40845
Show Cause Hearing: State v. Sandoval, S-1-SC-40845 (8/21/2026)

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The Real Reason Coyote v. Acme Was Buried (It's So Much Worse Than a Tax Write-Off) Sep 24, 2026

Show notes

Coyote vs. Acme is such a fun movie. Thomas and Lydia saw it with the kids, Matt tried to borrow some kids to see it with, and has some fun legal observations for us.

BUT! Before that, it's a special series premiere of ACCOUNTING'ed AWFUL MOVIES! Because there is some real financial shenanigans with this movie. Everyone says it got shelved for tax reasons. But that's wrong! It's actually so much worse than that...

$2+ Patrons already have the full episode at patreon.com/law.

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The USPS Ballot Scheme Was Even Worse Than You Thought Sep 21, 2026

Show notes

OA1298 - Voting rights attorney Jenessa is back with a sprawling tour of election chaos, starting with the Supreme Court's unsigned order in USPS v. California: nobody knows the vote count, and the real fight on the merits waits for 2028. Then: the USPS whistleblower letter reveals a system built on oral-only instructions and batch ballot rejection for any single problem, from a mismatch to a misscanned barcode. Meanwhile, a district court in DSCC v. Trump adds another layer: an injunction that even bars states from volunteering. Next, a USCIS whistleblower letter exposes an unlawful voter-fraud investigation targeting naturalized citizens, built on private corporate databases and vibes, with data gaps the training video promises will be filled by, quote, “supplemental magic.” Finally, Missouri redistricting: how the chaos unfolded from dueling maps to a secretary of state whose compliance plan was apparently to “evaluate options” until a judge told him otherwise, all captured in a contempt hearing you have to hear to believe.

Cases and sources discussed:

USPS v California, 609 U.S. ___ (2026)
DSCC v Trump, (D.D.C. 2026)
USPS whistleblower letter (August 31, 2026)
USCIS whistleblower letter (September 13, 2026)
Hugh Cameron (September 10, 2026), Missouri’s Midterm Map Fight: How the Chaos Unfolded, Newsweek.
Contempt hearing for Hoskins at Missouri Supreme Court