Today we are chatting with my long-time friend Cami Hurst. Mom of 4, counselor, and sex therapist - she believes that our sexuality was designed to bring power, connection and pleasure into our lives.
She is a passionate counselor, educator, speaker and advocate. She hosts the podcast Sex Therapy 101, has her own private practice, and is the founder of the Association of Sexual Health Professionals of Idaho.
She is driven to help couples create LIFE LONG love stories. To do this we must know: The 6 principles of sexual health:
1. There must be consent, to prevent any emotional or physical negative effects.
2. Non-exploitation, where both parties are free from any power or extortion in retaining sexual favors.
3. Honesty, whether or not we are “faking” something or not.
4. Shared values, couples need to come together and agree on what is acceptable to prevent hurt feelings.
5. Protection from pregnancy and STIs- being honest about exposure.
6. Mutual Pleasure- both people have a right to mutual pleasure.
There is no “right way” to have a healthy sexual relationship. What is really comes down to is what YOU and YOUR PARTNER agree upon and are BOTH mutually satisfied with. Communication is key and it is important to understand what your expectations are in the relationship in order for it to be successful.
She also teaches us about the different forms of sexual desires. Spontaneous desire vs responsive desire. Spontaneous desire is what is most often portrayed in the movies or in books. “I am horny and want sex now”, which is mostly common for men. Whereas, responsive desire is when “sex is not on my mind, but you might be able to talk or touch me into it”. It is important to know that we are not all hard wired the same. You and your partner may not both feel spontaneous desire at the same time. But they may be able to respond to your desire.
Appreciating our partner’s differences makes for long term fulfilling partnerships- NOT striving for sameness.
To continue the conversation or learn more about Cami, you can find her at: https://camihurst.com/ or check out her Sex Therapy 101 Podcast.
The book she mentioned in this episode is called: Becoming Clitorate by Laurie Mintz, PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Cliterate-Orgasm-Equality-Matters/dp/0062484389.
You can sign up for the 5 Day Seduce Your Spouse Challenge Here: https://onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/syschallenge
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