Notes from the Edge

Latest Episodes:

Emotional Sobriety, Addiction Recovery & Healing What Still Hurts with Dr. Dean & HollyKem Sunseri Sep 01, 2026

Show notes

What happens when you stop the addiction, but the pain underneath it is still running your life?

Dr. Dean Sunseri, licensed professional counselor, and HollyKem Sunseri, certified life coach with more than four decades in recovery, explore the work they call emotional sobriety: healing the emotional wounds and protective patterns that can remain long after the substance or destructive behavior is gone.

In this conversation, we go beyond abstinence and into what Dean and HollyKem call Stage Two recovery. We talk about why unresolved pain can “seep out” through substitute addictions, anger, isolation, control, relationship conflict, or other coping behaviors, and why simply stopping a behavior doesn’t necessarily heal what created it. They walk us through their framework of the Protector, Wounded Child, and True Self, including how learning to recognize which part of us is speaking can restore choice instead of leaving us controlled by old survival responses. We also explore relationships, why one person changing can change the entire “dance,” and why reconnecting may need to happen before a couple can actually solve the problem they’re fighting about.

In this episode:

Emotional sobriety and Stage Two addiction recovery
Why abstinence may be only the beginning of healing
Substance addiction, behavioral addiction, and substitute addictions
The emotional pain underneath compulsive and self-destructive behavior
The Protector, Wounded Child, and True Self
Trauma, triggers, and protective survival responses
Why healing doesn’t mean never being triggered again
Learning to love the parts of yourself you once tried to escape
Self-compassion versus shame in addiction recovery
Moving from survival mode into choice, purpose, and emotional freedom
Relationships, resentment, defensiveness, and emotional disconnection
Why one partner’s growth can change the relationship dynamic
Reconnecting before trying to resolve conflict
Boundaries, responsibility, forgiveness, and healthy communication
Finding purpose after addiction and survival

Dr. Dean & HollyKem Sunseri:

1. Take the free Emotional Sobriety Assessment: https://dean-jsegmrly.scoreapp.com

2. Get the Book A Roadmap to the Soul Today! https://amzn.to/478rNG8

3. Learn more about Dean & HollyKem Sunseri: https://www.ihaveavoice.com

4. Watch Free Videos on Emotional Sobriety: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsbxvHYHG8El81rdV6eQ7gM7S55jXPm49&si=FOa14n7V-5OLJOQJ

Lisa Lacy | Notes From the Edge:

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

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Who Told You That? | Solo Episode with Lisa Lacy Aug 29, 2026

Show notes

Who told you that you were too sensitive, too difficult, selfish, dramatic, unstable, or simply too much? And when did someone else’s opinion become part of your identity?

In this solo episode of Notes From the Edge, trauma educator Lisa Lacy explores how labels, family roles, survival adaptations, and other people’s perceptions can quietly become the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, and what can happen when we finally question who handed us those stories in the first place.

Lisa examines the difference between personality and adaptation, why competence can become armor, and how a label can stop an investigation before it ever begins. She also shares how this question has surfaced while writing Notes From a Certified Madwoman, now autofiction, and why sometimes finding yourself is less about becoming someone new and more about subtracting everybody else.

In this episode:

How childhood and relationship labels can become identity
“Too sensitive,” “difficult,” “selfish,” and the power of labeling
Competence as strength versus competence as survival armor
Why boundaries can feel threatening to people who benefited from your compliance
Family roles, scapegoating, and resistance when one person changes
The difference between accountability and self-erasure
Survival adaptations that become adult personality traits
Why proving a label wrong can still allow it to control your life
What happens when you enter an environment where you are no longer “too much”
The question that can interrupt an old identity: Who told you that?

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

https://lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Men’s Mental Health, Loneliness & Healthy Masculinity with Jason Lange Aug 28, 2026

Show notes

What happens when men are taught that vulnerability is weakness, but connection is exactly what they need most?

Jason Lange is a men’s embodiment coach and group facilitator who believes men don’t need to become tougher. They need the language, relationships, and spaces that allow them to become more fully human.

In this conversation, Jason shares how growing up without emotional or physical connection left him unable to understand what was happening inside his own body, eventually leading to shame, isolation, and unhealthy ways of coping. He takes us inside the somatic breakthrough that changed everything and explains why men’s groups became one of the most powerful forces in his own healing, relationships, and life.

In this episode:

Men’s mental health and the male loneliness epidemic
Healthy masculinity and breaking out of the “man box”
Why vulnerability can feel dangerous for men
Emotional neglect, shame, and disconnection
Somatic therapy and nervous system healing
Men’s groups, brotherhood, and co-regulation
Porn, alcohol, overworking, and other forms of emotional numbing
Building emotional intimacy in relationships
Learning to identify wants, needs, feelings, and boundaries
Moving beyond the isolated “lone wolf” model of masculinity
Authenticity instead of performing that everything is fine

Connect with Jason Lange:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasonmlange/

Evolutionary Men: https://evolutionary.men

Evolutionary Edge Quiz: https://evolutionary.men/quiz

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

ADHD, Autism & AuDHD: Trauma, Masking and Late Diagnosis with Ellie AuDHD Capstick Aug 27, 2026

Show notes

What happens when you spend decades believing you’re lazy, too much, unreliable or simply doing life wrong, only to discover your brain has been working differently all along?

Ellie AuDHD Capstick is an AuDHD educator and podcast host whose late diagnosis gave her something she had spent a lifetime searching for: language for experiences she once understood as personal failures.

In this conversation, Ellie gets candid about the collision of ADHD and autism, years of masking and pushing herself into burnout, and why she doesn’t automatically call neurodivergence a “superpower.” She also shares what she wishes she had understood while raising her older neurodivergent children and how diagnosis helped her move from shame toward self-advocacy.

In this episode:

AuDHD and living with both ADHD and autism
Late diagnosis, identity and self-understanding
Neurodivergent masking and autistic/ADHD burnout
Executive dysfunction versus “laziness”
Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)
Trauma, vulnerability and neurodivergence
Parenting neurodivergent children with confidence
Self-advocacy, relationships and dropping the mask

Connect with Ellie AuDHD Capstick

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1Ls1EfoRam/?mibextid=wwXIfr

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellie-audhd-capstick-b8a971415

Connect with Lisa Lacy

https://www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can Worms, Sprouts & Laughter Change Your Life? with Cathy Nesbitt Aug 26, 2026

Show notes

What if the secret to a healthier, happier, more sustainable life is hiding in a bin of worms, a jar of sprouts and one really good belly laugh?

Cathy Nesbitt is an award-winning entrepreneur and laughter yoga teacher who has spent more than two decades showing people how worms, sprouts, and laughter can create a healthier, more sustainable life.

In this episode, Cathy and Lisa go from the surprising story behind Cathy’s “worm empire” to why she believes laughter is an essential tool for navigating stress. They talk about turning food waste into “black gold,” growing your own nutrition through sprouts, learning to move toward the weirdness, and what happened when Cathy stopped being a lifelong people pleaser and started giving herself permission to say no.

In this episode:

Vermicomposting and turning household waste into healthy soil
Why Cathy believes worms matter for sustainability and food security
Growing fresh sprouts at home
Laughter yoga and nervous-system regulation
Why adults need more play and laughter
Stress, isolation, and protecting your mental health
Recovering from people pleasing
Saying no without overexplaining or apologizing
Why shame loses power when we stop keeping it silent
Choosing simple tools for a healthier, more sustainable life

Cathy Nesbitt: www.kathysclub.com

Lisa Lacy: www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Regret, Grief & Moving Forward Without Moving On with Stephanie Renner Aug 25, 2026

Show notes

What if moving forward doesn’t require you to “get over” what happened?

Stephanie Renner is an attorney, keynote speaker, and creator of the Regret to Resilience Method™, a framework for moving through unresolved guilt and regret without erasing the people, experiences, or losses that shaped us.

After the death of her son Jordan by suicide, Stephanie’s understanding of regret became deeply personal. In this conversation, we talk about the brutal “if onlys” that can follow loss, the illusion of control, and why building a meaningful life after grief doesn’t mean leaving someone behind. We also explore how regret reaches far beyond bereavement, showing up in relationships, careers, caregiving, and the decisions we replay long after they’re over.

In this episode:

Grief, regret, and the “if only” cycle
Suicide loss and unanswered questions
Responsibility vs. hindsight
Moving forward without “moving on”
Self-forgiveness and self-compassion
The illusion of control
Finding purpose after profound loss
Turning regret into resilience

Learn more about Stephanie Renner:

https://www.stephanierennerspeaks.com/

Find Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:

https://www.lisalacy.com/

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Menopause Didn’t Make Me Crazy. It Exposed What I Was Already Carrying. Solo Episode with Lisa Lacy Aug 22, 2026

Show notes

What happens when menopause doesn’t create the crisis, but exposes everything your mind and body have spent decades carrying?

Lisa Lacy, writer and host of Notes From the Edge, explores how surgical menopause collided with a lifetime of trauma, recovery, psychiatric diagnoses, chronic illness and survival.

After having her ovaries unexpectedly removed at 45, Lisa experienced rage, panic, depression, insomnia, brain fog and an unsettling loss of identity. In this solo episode, she examines what happens when hormonal change collides with years of stored stress, hypervigilance and survival patterns, and why women deserve more than being told they’re “just hormonal.”

In this episode:

Surgical menopause and mental health
Trauma activation and survival patterns
Rage, anxiety, depression and identity loss
Medical dismissal in midlife women
High-functioning survival and performance
Why menopause can expose what was already there

Learn more: www.lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sexual Addiction & Betrayal Trauma: Boundaries, Grief and Healing with Roxanna Johnson Aug 21, 2026

Show notes

What happens to the spouse when the person with the addiction gets all the attention?

In this deeply personal conversation, Lisa Lacy sits down with author, speaker and advocate Roxanna Johnson to talk about the side of sexual addiction that is too often forgotten: betrayal trauma and what it does to the partner left trying to make sense of a life that suddenly feels unrecognizable.

After nearly 24 years of marriage, Roxanna discovered that her husband had been living with a hidden pattern of sexual addiction. She calls the disclosure “the bomb” because it didn’t simply reveal a secret. It blew apart her understanding of her marriage, her safety and, for a time, herself.

Lisa and Roxanna dig into what betrayal trauma can actually look like: hypervigilance, panic, anger, grief, shame, questioning your own reality and becoming so focused on another person’s behavior that you lose touch with your own wants, needs and identity.

They also explore one of the most important distinctions in recovery: boundaries are not control. Roxanna shares how she learned to stop twisting herself into what she calls “a pretzel” to keep the peace and instead use boundaries to create emotional safety for herself, regardless of whether her partner chose recovery.

The conversation goes into codependency and counterdependence, lovingly detaching, rebuilding self-trust, finding competent betrayal-trauma support, creating a recovery community, spiritual reawakening and grieving the marriage, family or future you thought you had.

And perhaps most importantly, they talk about the spouse’s right to heal independently of the outcome of the relationship.

Roxanna’s work and book, Forgotten in the Battle with Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse, give language and support to partners and families who have too often been treated as collateral damage in someone else’s recovery.

Connect with Roxanna Johnson:

https://ForgottenSpouse.com

Connect with Lisa Lacy and Notes From the Edge:

https://www.lisalacy.com/podcast

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Longest Distance: Men’s Mental Health, Male Loneliness & Emotional Healing with Daniel Sterling Aug 19, 2026

Show notes

What happens when achievement becomes a substitute for being seen?

Writer, memoirist, and speaker Daniel Sterling joins Lisa Lacy for a candid conversation about men’s mental health, male loneliness, emotional vulnerability, masculinity, identity, and what it takes to raise emotionally whole boys.

Daniel traces his own journey from an eight-year-old alpine ski racer who discovered the powerful rush of recognition to becoming one of the top ski racers in the country, then pursuing success through television, broadcasting, screenwriting, and filmmaking. But underneath the ambition was something much more human: the need to be seen, valued, and loved.

After emotionally cratering in midlife, Daniel began questioning the identity he had built around achievement. A mentor introduced him to self-study, accountability, and a different way of living, beginning what he describes as the much longer journey from his head to his heart.

Lisa and Daniel dig into why so many men learn to armor up instead of open up, how childhood messages like “toughen up” and “man up” can follow boys into adulthood, and why our current crisis of male isolation may have roots much earlier than we think.

They also explore what parents can do differently: knowing the child in front of them, celebrating effort instead of achievement, allowing boys to fail and recover, giving them a voice, and creating enough emotional safety for vulnerability without removing the structure they need to grow.

And perhaps most importantly, they talk about personal accountability: learning to recognize what belongs to you, apologize without defending yourself, change the behavior that caused harm, and discover who you are when you no longer need the performance.

Daniel is currently seeking representation for his completed memoir, Hungry, and shares excerpts from his writing through his Substack.

Connect with Daniel Sterling:

https://daniel-sterling.com

Connect with Lisa Lacy:

https://lisalacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Coercive Control & Trauma Bonding: Why You Can’t “Just Leave” Solo Episode with Lisa Lacy Aug 18, 2026

Show notes

Why does someone stay in a relationship they know is hurting them? And why can leaving feel almost physically unbearable, even when you know you need to go?

In this special solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy shares her own experience of spending 13 years in a marriage marked by addiction, betrayal, coercive control, gaslighting and trauma bonding.

At the time, Lisa was also carrying diagnoses of borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, complex PTSD, chronic alcoholism and codependency while managing a congenital blood disease. Over time, the chaos became so disorienting that she stopped trusting her own perception and began gaslighting herself.

She left repeatedly.

And repeatedly went back.

Because every time she tried to leave, it felt like she was dying.

It ultimately took three years to complete the divorce and another three years before she was able to fully go no contact.

This conversation explores what coercive control actually looks like when it happens slowly, how trauma bonds are reinforced through cycles of fear, pain, relief and reconciliation, why mental-health diagnoses can make someone even more vulnerable to doubting their own reality, and why asking survivors, “Why didn’t you just leave?” profoundly misunderstands what may be happening psychologically and physiologically.

Lisa also talks about the long road back to self-trust, the difference between understanding someone and giving them permission to harm you, and the moment when you stop making decisions based on someone’s potential and finally start looking at their patterns.

Because sometimes leaving is not one brave decision.

Sometimes it is a process of choosing yourself over and over again until your nervous system finally learns that freedom is safe.

Learn more about Lisa and Notes From the Edge at www.LisaLacy.com

What did you perform in order to survive?

Welcome to the Edge.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.