NOT REALLY

6. "Not Really Hyped (w/ Leia Jospe)" Jan 13, 2022

We stare across the killing fields of our social media profiles past: Diaryland, Livejournal, Makeoutclub, Neopets, Friendster, MySpace, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Vine... to arrive at hell on earth: Tik Tok. Leia Jospe, curator of @favetiktoks420 joins us to discuss these frontiers as well as Netflix's new Hype House reality series, Hulu's The D'Amelio Show, and more. Today's theme: "Tick Tock" by Death In June

5. "Not Really The Master (w Anna Khachiyan)" *Teaser* Dec 15, 2021

Anna Khachiyan drops in to review Hillary Clinton's new MasterClass in being a loser.

You can support Anna by going to patreon.com/redscare !

Today's theme: "Credit in the Straight World" by Hole

4. "Not Really Italian (Teaser)" Dec 09, 2021

It's quality over quantity, people. And this episode is double-stuffed: we review House of Gucci, talk about how Best Actress is turning into Snatch Game, weigh in on the Jussie and Ghislaine trials, touch on the cishet male drag queen heard round the world, get back to our pop-punk roots, spin our wheels about fashion and appropriation, discuss the loss of Virgil Abloh, grapple with the epidemic of bad-faith criticism, and come to the conclusion that if you aren't controversial you probably aren't doing it right. Oh, and we kind of get sidetracked by Lucille Ball which is a thing that happens to gay guys. End of Year Wrap-Up Pod Hotline: send us your burning questions or requests in the comments, DMs, and by calling 347-709-2704. Today's theme: "Down4ever" by Money

3. "Not Really Neoprene (Teaser)" Oct 10, 2021

Parentally supervised Beverly Hills sex parties, neoprene peplums on the Parisian runways, pseudoinflammatory standup specials on Netflix, the absence of a Twitter void, suicide glam, the wrong shoes, Balenciaga Simpsons, Bottega pussy, mondo Italiano, Sherry Pie's jailbreak and crime spree across Gotham City, gay tabloids, being misquoted in the press, Angelyne's personality disorder, reptilian diets, Ferrari trunk retail, Tammy Faye and Tony Soprano, and a bullet right through Livia's bouffant on the New Jersey turnpike.

MENTION IT ALL!

Today's theme is "Souvenir (Demo)" by Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark

For the full episode go to patreon.com/notreally

2. "Not Really Implicated (Teaser)" Sep 03, 2021

Azealia Banks bringing the NYC floods, Channing Tatum's makeover, gay style, the summer in bad movies, Erika Jayne's breathtaking descent into hell, the most diabolical Housewives, the Lewinsky scandal, and just a regular old catchup with just us squirrelfriends.

For the full episode go to patreon.com/notreally

Today's theme: "Leave Out (ft. LEECH and Ian Isiah)" by Anonymous Club

1. "But Actually Wigstock (Teaser)" Aug 04, 2021

Welcome to season 2, it's literally a riot. We discuss the new HBO rock doc Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage and get into all the absurd contradictions that make it a fascinating watch. We also get into bad faith criticism, woke revisionism, where we would have more likely been that same summer, which artists are NOT included, and everything else with special guest Heather Jewett. Subscribe to Heather's patreon, Bimbo Summit at https://www.patreon.com/heatherjewett/ Watch her IG lives @hurrrjurrr and follow her twitter @bimbosummit

100. "Not Really The Season Finale" Jul 22, 2021

The long-awaited season finale of Not Really.

For more, go to patreon.com/notreally

98. "But Actually Choir Boys ***TEASER***" May 03, 2021

Oprah's disembodied netherworld, Elliot with one T, choir boys on cruise ships, gastric bypass surgery, Demi Lovato's struggles, prestige television, the Oscars, etc.!

Check out Patrik on two other podcasts this week, Sexy Unique Podcast and Dial #Dan.

Today's theme: "Rowdy Friends" by Choir Boy (Hank Williams Jr. cover)

Subscribe at patreon.com/notreally for the full episode!

96. "Not Really Autoplay" Mar 19, 2021

We talk about America's America problem, Great Britain's Great Britain problem, and the whole fucking problem with the stupid fucking world.

Plus: Paul breaks his silence on his replacement best friend Anna Delvey.

Today's theme: "Someone's Calling" by Modern English

Sign up at patreon.com/notreally for bonus episodes including our recent ep with Sky Ferreira!

95. "But Actually Baby One More Time (w/ Sky Ferreira) **TRAILER**" Mar 05, 2021

Sky Ferreira is back to talk about growing up in proximity to the Jacksons, Star Search, MTV's Total Request Live, boy bands, contemporary pop lore, young Hollywood misadventures, presents from Taylor Swift, writing songs for undisclosed pop divas, the Swedish sound factory, and all things Britney Spears. Plus: Lindsay Lohan dressed as Elizabeth Taylor wielding a gun at the Chateau Marmont. Today's theme: "Anticipating" by Britney Spears FOR THE FULL EPISODE, SUBSCRIBE to our Patreon at patreon.com/notreally!

94. "Not Really Had To Be There" Mar 03, 2021

AIDS conspiracies, PrEP+ drama, WeHo bodies, hairlessness, Bobby Trendy, Anna Nicole Smith, prison sex, MTV's The Real World, locker room memories of sex symbol Eric Nies, committing gym fraud, fake i.d.s, Crunch Fitness, Brooklyn Raves, fashion parties, sexual assault, Cuomosexuals, hetero subcultures, ABC's The Bachelor, Brentwood hellos, film reviews, gay nightmares, fashion drama, the works!

Today's theme: "Gray Wave City" by Geneva Jacuzzi

Subscribe for bonus episodes at patreon.com/notreally

93. "Not Really Music" Feb 16, 2021

We're back and explain where we've been. We get into Mercury retrograde, mourning the loss of Sophie, Valentine's Day, Anna Delvey's prison release, Sherry Pie's Tamron Hall appearance, season 13 of Drag Race and then Paul reviews Sia's directorial debut, Music.

Had to pause there.

Then we talk about Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar, the New York Times's Britney Spears documentary, defending Diane Sawyer and David Letterman, "The Wendy Wiliams Event," and Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

Today's theme: "Sunscreen (Forever Edit)" by SOPHIE featuring LIZ

For more please subscribe to the patreon! Patreon.com/NotReally

91. & 92. "But Actually Anything" *TEASER* Jan 25, 2021

Subscribe to our patreon at patreon.com/notreally

Seriously! Let Liza Minnelli explain.

90. "Not Really C***suckers" Jan 18, 2021

We talk about all our favorite topics:

Profanity
Censorship
Hypocrisy
Bullying
Ariel Pink
The Trumps
Kellyanne Conway
Twitter
Cable News
Crying
Witchhunts
Drag Queens
S&M
Hollywood Stars
Gay Rumors
Serial Killers

And so much more, including our overview of the new season of RuPaul's Drag Race. Warning: episode contains reads. NO tagging or narc-ing please!

Today's Theme: "Phantasthma" by Ariel Pink

Coming this week: ASK US ANYTHING Patreon special. Sign up at patreon.com/notreally and dial 347-709-2704 to leave us a voicemail. Toodles bitch.

89. "Not Really Great Again" Jan 08, 2021

!!! RATED NC-17 !!!

2021 has been several years in only a matter of hours. We talk about the insurrection at Capitol Hill, bipartisan horseshoe theory, rejecting authority, and online hysteria. Patrik defends Ariel Pink from the angry mob and we talk about being punk, whether forgiveness is still a virtue, if the election was actually rigged, and parse the way the right and left are swapping fundamental principles without anybody really noticing. Then we get into the Kanye and Jeffree rumors, repressed homosexuality, Kim's romantic prospects, Gen-Z's next Ann Coulter, object fetishism, and wrap things up with the 411 on Alexander Wang's litany of abuse allegations in the context of his career... which...honestly...? I guess you have to listen.

Today's Theme: "Human (Human League Cover)" by Lloyd and the 6ths.

For more, go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally

88. "Not Really Art Deco" Dec 23, 2020

Homosexual president Donald Trump issues an executive order on what constitutes fabulous architecture and to no one's surprise, we agree with him. We also talk about Martin Shkreli's sad girlfriend, Sydney Leathers's response, Tom Cruise's COVID meltdown, Erika Jayne's financial crimes, Tom Girardi's mistress, and Logo's dead series The A-List.

Today's Theme: "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Black Marble

86. "But Actually Yes Really" *TEASER* Dec 12, 2020

We get into the HBO Max of it all—Warner Bros. screwing over their creative talent, Jenna Lyons's cautionary tale of a reality series, Veneno (we haven't watched, but we plan to, join us), the Heaven's Gate docuseries—and then move on to explain Barrett Pall, Patrik reviews The Midnight Sky, Paul journeys through time and space, we argue about Dune, Paul BLASTS Madonna, and then he explains what happened to the Not Really T-shirts! We also reveal right at the top "who invented the 1970s"... Tell Little Sally she's getting a vibe check tonoooight.

Today's theme: "Inverness" by Soft Kill

Go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally to hear the full episode!

85. "Not Really Codependent" (with Kalena Yiaueki) Dec 01, 2020

It's our deep pandemic advice episode with your favorite guest, Kalena Yiaueki! Thank you to everyone who called in or sent questions. We get into dating addicts, codependency, open relationships, un-cuffing in quarantine, our own private lives, and so much more.

Today's Theme: "Love in a Vacuum" by 'Til Tuesday

84. "But Actually Superspreading" *TEASER* Nov 29, 2020

We are the nightmare you've been reading about. Paul surprised Patrik on Thanksgiving in L.A. by waltzing through the door and we have not stopped partying since. On this ep we get into the shitty Hulu Lesbian Christmas RomCom, Sia's movie trailer, when representation becomes exploitative, this week's cancel attempts, Khloe Kardashian's facial controversy, Pharrell's skincare line, and the new L.A. shutdown.

Tomorrow we have Kalena back on the pod for your cuffing season in quarantine questions! Leave a comment here with your queries, DM us, or call 347-709-2704 and leave a message! (We love those.)

Thank you for supporting us, December will be a loaded month of very good patreon eps so stay tuned.

For the full episode go to patreon.com/notreally

82. "Not Really President" Nov 10, 2020

We recap the 2020 Presidential Election, reflect on Trump's highs (hair) and lows (makeup), and talk about Kamala's split personality and the republican efforts to expose election fraud. Welcome to the least important election of our lifetimes!

Today's theme: "April Ha Ha" by Nothing

For more episodes subscribe at patreon.com/notreally

80. "But Actually Sex Perverts" *TEASER* Oct 28, 2020

It's a week before the 2020 election and we're getting into everything filthy, degrading, indecent, and depraved: namely, Netflix's Emily in Paris. But first, we talk Hunter Biden's stolen smut files, Patrik's adventures in 4chan, Jeffrey Toobin's Zoom exposure, Robert Zemeckis's The Witches, Kanye's Joe Rogan interview, Kardashians with COVID-19, and Paul introduces us to his new cat, and then the cat dies live on air. Not joking.

Today's theme: "Angst In My Pants" by Sparks.

For the full episode go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally

79. "Not Really Into Hunter" Oct 20, 2020

We talk about Hunter Biden's recovered hard drive and the tech oligopoly's suppression of the story, and why nothing either side can come up with matters at this point in the election. We also get into Scott Peterson's trial by media, Luca Guadagnino's HBO series, why the Vow is a bigger cult than NXIVM, HRH Collection's war on homelessness, SNL's terrible season, Miley Cyrus's post-grunge covers of classic alternative songs, Tiffany Trump, and more. Today's theme: "Starfall" by SALEM For more, subscribe to exclusive episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally

78. "Not Really Immune" Oct 07, 2020

We talk about Trump's diagnosis, his dangerous curves, his presidential hospital suite, his home movies, and his erosion of news standards and the effect it's had on national nightmares like Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow. Then we get into Oprah's Mariah Carey interview, Mariah Carey's new memoir, the McDonald's celebrity collaborations, and tease a conversation about Stephanie Winston Wolkoff's supposed tell-all Melania and Me.

Today's theme: "Rude Boy (Blondes Remix feat. Mariah Carey)" by Rihanna

For more, subscribe to exclusive episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally

77. "Not Really Notorious" Sep 30, 2020

We talk MSNBC dementia, why presidential debates don't matter, the instantaneous liberal revisionism of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Ann Coulter's timeless racism and comedic timing, redefining what "middle class" means, and then we gossip about Wendy, Andy, Nene, Karen, Paris, Kathy, Nicky, Diamond, Silk, and Akeem.

Make an appointment to see Akeem Smith's blockbuster exhibition No Gyal Can Test at Red Bull Arts in NYC now:

https://redbullarts.com/newyork/news/akeem-smith-no-gyal-can-test/

Sign up for more Not Really episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally

76. "Not Really Keeping Up" Sep 19, 2020

Did you hear? Ruth died.

We briefly talk RBG, then get into getting baited by zoomers, the Mission Chinese scandal, the Paris Hilton documentary, the joys of apathy, the end of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, award shows, and which American fashion brands have managed to suspiciously survive the apparel implosion in America.

Today's theme: if you don't already know...

Subscribe to more episodes of Not Really on http://www.patreon.com/notreally!

75. "Not Really Sex Work" Sep 06, 2020

Congratulations! In this episode we announce that Quarantine is over, New York doesn't need to be saved, the Post Office should be abolished, Bella Thorne did nothing wrong, and OnlyFans creators aren't sex workers. Then we talk about Jeffree Star's transactional new romance, terrifying Tik Tok teens, Nancy Pelosi's blowout, how fast we want to go back to the movies, why Jessica Krug doesn't matter, minding your business, and why groups of gay men should be allowed to go to the beach and have sex whenever they want.

It's your favorite podcast. Subscribe to bonus episodes at patreon.com/notreally.

Today's theme: "Murphy's Law" by Róisín Murphy

74. "Dramarama (w/ Sky Ferreira)" *TEASER* Aug 27, 2020

In our first Dramarama Special, we turn to singer/actress/icon Sky Ferreira to guide our listeners through the ups and downs of Quarantine. Thank you to everyone who called in! Today's Theme: "Voices Carry ('Til Tuesday Cover)" by Sky Ferreira For the full episode go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally and subscribe!

73. "Not Really Electing" Aug 15, 2020

We talk about the plight of working and the indignity of labor and then get into Azealia Banks's brush with death, Kamala Harris's VEEP announcement, the inevitability of the Biden/Harris ticket, why they'll win, social media election-splaining, Karen permanence, cardboard cutouts at live events, Kanye's 2020 merch, Virgil's Walter Van Beirendonck controversy, satire versus theft, Christine Quinn from Selling Sunset, and why democracy never existed and voting only matters in a handful of states. Got Drama? Call our hotline and tell us all about it for our first-ever Dramarama Special! Call 347-709-2704 and leave us a message. Today's Theme: "Witchhunt Suite for WWIII" by Ariel Pink

72. "But Actually Fragile" *TEASER* Aug 04, 2020

We talk about Patrik's deranged Twitter fan, lazy Red Scare haters, the Hunger Games of media Twitter, why everyone hates Patrik, posting under the influence, policing likes, gaslighting defense as offense, white girl fragility, and why academia and corporate media will never save you. Then we dive into our reviews of Taylor Swift's folklore, Beyoncé's Black Is King, Oprah's delayed TV comeback, and Canada's Drag Race.

Don't ask us who we're talking about, you can figure it out!

Today's theme: Destiny's Child "Say My Name" (Cyril Hahn Mix) - a legendary remix

For the full episode sign up at http://www.patreon.com/notreally !

72. "But Actually Mary Kay Letourneau" w/ Alissa Bennett *UNLOCKED!* Jul 30, 2020

It's been a busy week for us but we do not want to leave you guys hanging so here is a very popular Patreon episode of recent vintage featuring one of our favorite regulars, Alissa Bennett, recorded on the occasion of Mary Kay Letourneau's untimely demise. Originally published July 8. For more episodes like this, subscribe to our Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/notreally ! Enjoy!

Breaking News: Mary Kay Letourneau is DEAD. She DIED. Alissa Bennett joins us for an emergency edition of Not Really looking back at the scandal, the sickness, and the saga of one of the most infamous women of the '90s. Was it true love or was it a predatory perversion? Journey inside the mind of Mary Kay in what can best be described as the definitive record of her life and times, never to be eclipsed...at least until Vili Fualaau's memoir gets picked up.

Background materials mentioned:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/07/obituaries/mary-kay-letourneau-dead.html?surface=most-popular&fellback=false&req_id=585083177&algo=top_conversion&imp_id=580833784&action=click&module=Most%20Popular&pgtype=Homepage

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/09/28/us/child-sex-abuse.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mowKsGWuW4

And subscribe to Alissa's podcast The C Word (with Lena Dunham) on Luminary!

https://luminarypodcasts.com/listen/lena-dunham-and-alissa-bennett/the-c-word-luminary-premium/4425e6c3-0117-4304-bb05-a994b05ee354?gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZX4BRDmARIsAFYh7ZKPUaREWCNoCF6XGWUN5sv9z9mTC4-2Xy3H48Hqb5St1M4ByDPJPewaAscKEALw_wcB&country=US

71. "But Actually #MeMeMe" *TEASER* Jul 22, 2020

Kanye West's presidential rally and social media diaries, Trump's message for Ghislaine, Teyana Taylor's ballroom appropriation, the sexual reckoning at Burger Records, and Portland's Naked Athena.

This episode's theme: "Not A Problem" by the Black Lips

For the full episode go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally!

70. "Not Really Victims" Jul 16, 2020

We talk the bluecheck hack, Paul getting unsuspended, looming takedowns, cancel predictions, Gay Twitter, the so-called myth of cancel culture, trickle-down oppression, the competitive capitalism of public shaming, the Harper's Letter, why we podcast, the victim/villain binary, why gay men don't get offended, #JewishPrivilege, privilege as insult, the reclosing of L.A., the myth of dog whistles, the self-annihilation of the left, the Mission Chinese drama, settlement chasers, jealousy, the dopamine poison of being liked online, the insulation of wealth, the merciless guillotine of public relations, the elementary genius of Fox news, the latest gossip around Ghislaine, and so much more!

Today's theme: "2y & 6m" by Cindy

Relevant links:

The Harper's Letter:

https://harpers.org/a-letter-on-justice-and-open-debate/

Feeling Asian Podcast w/ Danny Bowien:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3BIONBt6nVFjw8ZN69wyZC?si=EJax5255TA2bQqnz9J36_w

Caitlin Flanagan dunking on Jennifer Finney Boylan:

https://twitter.com/CaitlinPacific/status/1282047624032346112?s=20

Ross Douthat's 10 Theses About Cancel Culture:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/14/opinion/cancel-culture-.html

Patia's Legendary Guide:

http://pfw.guide/

Subscribe to Not Really on Patreon for a brand new episode on Mary Kay Letourneau! http://www.patreon.com/notreally

68. "Not Really Social Distancing" Jul 07, 2020

Paul's review of Hamilton is in and IT STINKS! We discuss the death of content, electoral politics as entertainment, Kanye's presidential announcement, Kylie Jenner's "web of lies", kundles on the pier, quarantines at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and caviar dreams!

Also: Kimberly Guilfoyle's contagious exploits, rage against the Fire Island Pines, Hell's Kitchen al fresco, mutual shaming du jour, Unsolved Mysteries, Ghislaine Maxwell's New Hampshire lair (and connection to streetwear), J.K. Rowling's TERF war, coming to terms with the ubiquitous evil behind all American holidays, and the death of the "king of lawsuits" himself, Milton Glaser!

Subscribe to the bonus episodes only at http://www.patreon.com/notreally!

Today's theme: "No More Words" by Berlin.

67. "Not Really Silenced But Actually Voiceless (w/ Mary Ann Heagerty)" *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Jul 06, 2020

We're joined by our friend, producer/actress/creative guru Mary Ann Heagerty to discuss a world she tunes into on the reg: beauty influencers on YouTube and their assorted dramaramas. We get into Tati Westbrook's latest bombshell allegations against Shane Dawson and Jeffree Star, the glistening enclave of Calabasas McMansions where they hock their product lines, and why YouTubers have replaced the soap stars of yore.

For the full episode, go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally and sign up!

Today's theme: "Face To Face" by Missing Persons

66. "Not Really Cancelled" Jun 30, 2020

We talk Patrik's gorgeousness problem, the alleged fireworks psyop, big streaming's iron fist, Reddit banning podcast subs, the cancel wave, 30 Rock's self-own, Shane Dawson's Million Apologies Tour, Lena Dunham's hater magnetism, nepotism paranoia, Hollywood dynasties, the New Gay Pride, the mutual humiliation of white guilt, how media can actually be progressive, the death of magazines, and why burning something down only works if you create a new paradigm in its place rather than reinstitute it with new cast members. (Ahem: Vanderpump Rules!)

Subscribe to our Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/notreally

Find out how to best help the movement at http://pfw.guide

Read about the Reddit ban: https://www.theverge.com/2020/6/29/21304947/reddit-ban-subreddits-the-donald-chapo-trap-house-new-content-policy-rules

This week's track: "True Faith" by New Order (Luca Magnotta's Theme)

65. "Not Really Punk (w/ Brontez Purnell)" *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Jun 19, 2020

Did you miss us? We're back, with very special guest Brontez Purnell! Brontez is here to promote his third novel, 100 Boyfriends, coming soon from Farrar, Straus and Giroux. We also talk about the Vanderpump Rules firings, gay pride mixing with black lives matter protests, body dysmorphia amid the revolution, looting Target, the Iraq War, very special statements from white brands, Rihanna's inadvertent reparations anthem, Paul and Patrik getting cancelled, Paul and Patrik being uncancellable, the viral donation discrepancy, flashpan equity initiatives, how the onus of racial education steals from black creatives, leaderless resistance, quarantine's uprising effect, the apocalypse, Obama complacency, and Brontez's incredible body of work in bands like Gravy Train!!! and The Younger Lovers, as well as his career as an author and documentarian.

We missed you too. And we're not sorry.

64. "Really Fed Up" Jun 02, 2020

Everything to the side: we live in a racist country and we've had enough. Let's discuss systemic racism.

With a very special message from New York City's True Finest, the One and Only Big Shugga, America's Auntie, Ian Isiah.

63. "Not Really The Ramble" May 28, 2020

We discuss the swift rise and fall of Netflix's queer branding strategist, young millennial queer culture's personal branding obsession, assimilation into corporate culture as a reverse resistance optic, media millennials washing their personal interactions with buzzterms and marketspeak. We also get into the modern syndrome of judging past behaviors through today's moral majority standards.

Plus: The Jeffrey Epstein docuseries, Bill Clinton's affair with Ghislaine Maxwell, Racist Amy in Central Park, Hot Christian the gay bird watcher, cops getting away with murdering black people, the Jenny Jones murder, Kiki Kannibal, early-2000s MTV reality shows, and more!

Subscribe to our patreon for tons of recent episodes featuring the likes of Hari Nef, Steven Phillips-Horst, Amber A'Lee Frost, Finn MacTaggart, and more: http://www.patreon.com/notreally

Relevant links:

"Losing the Narrative: The Genre Fiction of the Professional Class" by James McElroy

https://americanaffairsjournal.org/2020/05/losing-the-narrative-the-genre-fiction-of-the-professional-class/

"The Pandemic Work Diary of Netflix's Queer Champion" by Melissa Guerrero

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/13/business/fran-tirado-netflix-lgbtq.html

"Did Netflix oust LGBT exec Fran Tirado over New York Times interview?" in Page Six

https://pagesix.com/2020/05/26/did-netflix-oust-lgbtq-exec-fran-tirado-over-ny-times-interview/?utm_medium=SocialFlow&utm_source=P6Twitter&utm_campaign=SocialFlow

62. "But Actually Quarantined Part 3 (w/ Alissa Bennett)" *PATREON UNLOCKED* May 27, 2020

This episode was recorded all the way back in March, has quarantine really lasted this long?

Head over to http://www.patreon.com/notreally for dozens more episodes like this one.

Alissa Bennett is back and here to discuss her latest beautiful but grim discovery, the life, legacy, and death of the gay porn icon Erik Rhodes. It just so happens that Patrik and Paul both knew Erik Rhodes...we discuss his career trajectory, proximity to the fashion biz, dark depraved soul, drug addictions, online diaries, and the runaway train that was his eventual heart attack at the age of 30. We miss you James! (That was his real name.)

61. "Not Really Journalism" May 20, 2020

We talk Ben Smith's Ronan Farrow takedown, high achiever syndrome, resistance journalism, audiobook melodrama, and why Farrow's investigative nonfiction comes across as a glorified Hollywood audition. We also get into Alison Roman's suspension from the New York Times, James Charles's "Instant Influencers," Jackie Cox, and the emergence of the politically correct drag queen. We discuss VH1's censure of Sherry Pie and imagine what the season would have been like had she been showcased objectively. Then we talk about Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande's #1 debut controversy, parse the conspiracies and money channels that dictate the Billboard charts, and observe Doctor Luke's comeback with the new Doja Cat single featuring Nicki Minaj. Then we talk about Jeffrey's closing, New York COVID-19 casualties, and why Patrik is moving to L.A.

Further reading:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/17/business/media/ronan-farrow.html

https://www.nme.com/news/music/billboard-responds-after-tekashi-6ix9ine-accused-ariana-grande-and-justin-bieber-of-rigging-hot-100-chart-2672297

Subscribe to Patreon for bonus episodes! http://www.patreon.com/notreally

60. "Not Really Orthodox" Apr 30, 2020

Big COVID energy. What don't we talk about?

Paul started watching Vanderpump Rules for the first time and solved the mystery of the 7-11 Corona Bandit, and then we go into how the Coronavirus is teaching people how to live in a society, why quarantining is really designed to curb the worst among us, the cancelled New York Democratic Primary, DeBlasio's "Jewish" gaffe, unpacking the syntax, his intent, the Internet's outrage, and what it reflects. Also: Cuomosexuals, the cudgel of victimization, regional controversies and our new New York relativism, Zoom funerals, social distancing cops, pandemic as equalizer, Jeff Goldblum's Drag Race controversy, abusing oneself to please one's parents, the liberal obsession with lesser evils, post-millennial fusion of self and brand how it erodes the art of drag, delusional American exceptionalist fantasies of first-world status, and the conflation of otherness with virtue. Paul comes out as trad Cath and we reminisce about Catholic child molestors, and realize middle-aged Catholic smokers are the new tabloid sex symbols (Chris Cuomo and Ben Affleck). We also talk about why podcasters, YouTubers, and porn stars are the post-COVID entrepreneurial class, Hillary Clinton's graboid bid for the running mate slot, Rebecca Traister's Biden Trap essay, the spinelessness of the Democratic Party's leadership, and finally...a message from the CEO of Nasty Pig.

Subscribe to our patreon at http://patreon.com/notreally for more episodes, including Housewives specials!

59. "Not Really Voting" Apr 14, 2020

Paul's drunk. Patrik's hot and bothered over due process. Neither of us are voting for Joe Biden, and it has nothing to do with sexual assault allegations. We also talk about the lost art of "getting away with it," and our favorite YouTubers: Paul is obsessed with Kalvin Garrah's war against GoFundMe surgeries, Patrik loves HRH Collection but finds her to be a "nondesigner," or a "fashion charlatan," if you will. We venture into Drag Race's Madonna Rusical and address our beloved listeners and their absolutely adorable demands!

We have recorded 14 special quarantine episodes with guests like Hari Nef (twice!), Alissa Bennett, Steven Phillips-Horst, and we did a RHONY episode and a full radio show with music!...If you aren't a subscriber to the patreon, so much awaits you once you join:

http://www.patreon.com/notreally

58. "But Actually Quarantined (Part 8 w/ Hari Nef)" *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Mar 28, 2020

We are doing DAILY PATREON EPISODES the ENTIRE DURATION OF THE QUARANTINE! Go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally for the FULL episodes!

Welcome to the dollhouse! Hari Nef joins us to discuss this week's episode of Drag Race, season 12, the early seasons, bio queens, fishy femmes, who's got it and who's got nothing. We talk oedipal mom-worship in the drag arts, the trans/drag connection, Jan's obsession with going mainstream, Widow Von Du's watermelon realness, and wonder if we should just forgive Sherry Pie... We go deep on Sherry Pie's connection to Playwright's Horizons, the Hell's Kitchen theater circuit, Bulk the musical based on the movie based on the musical and who's playing whom, casting, the Vanity Fair party, our J train haters, social justice warrior regrets, and caviar dreams!

We also take time to address our listeners...you guys are cute but some of you think you're too cute. Patrik is going to start blocking you for it!

Again, we are not putting out any free episodes for the entire quarantine period so if you talk to someone who's not on the Patreon let that bitch know where it's all going down dolls!!!!

An update from PAUL! Mar 24, 2020

We are now DAILY!!!

We are doing nightly shows over on patreon.com/notreally during the quarantine!!!! EVERY...SINGLE...NIGHT...

Tonight we have guest Amber A'Lee Frost from Chapo and two nights ago we had Alissa Bennett on to do a deep dive into the life and death of pornstar Erik Rhodes. Who will the NEXT GUEST? tune in to find out!

Also t-shirts are now available at not-really-store.myshopify.com

Follow us on insta at @notreallypod for daily updates and I hope all of our listeners stay in good health and good spirits!

Xo

Paul

57. "But Actually Quarantined" *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Mar 21, 2020

We are recording Patreon-only nightcalls the whole duration of the Quarantine! Check out our first on on http://www.patreon.com/notreally ! We go into all the gossip and drama surrounding the pandemic and our new, shut-in lives, including recommendations, music, movies, trend forecasts and more.

Check out all our newest merch to order now at our shopify! https://not-really-store.myshopify.com/collections/all If you want to leave a message for tomorrow's show, call 347-709-2704

56. "Not Really Lonely" Mar 20, 2020

This is the first episode in our nightly quarantine series, which will be available for the duration of the pandemic on Patreon! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/notreally for a day-by-day breakdown of what has to be the most melodramatic extinction-level mass behavioral shift since Paul was kicked off Twitter and forced to shitpost as @gaycrossfit.

We discuss our quars, individual symptoms, attention-starved celebrities, becoming gamers, "the death of cinema", Alex HRH Collection, the fulfilled prophecies of Wall-E, Idiocracy, and Glamorama, Paul's brother's girlfriend's intimacy issues, Coronavirus grifters, lying hookers, getting deplatformed, our entertainment suggestions, Danielle Staub's face, designer dogs named after designer bags, and Amanda Bynes's pregnancy.

Buy the first and very-limited-edition Not Really T-shirt at https://not-really-store.myshopify.com/collections/frontpage/products/paul-s-birthday-shirt !!!

55. "Not Really Quarantined" Mar 12, 2020

Live from New York City's COVID-19 quarantine, it's your worst nightmare! We try a new recording method and—surprise!—it doesn't work out in our favor. (Apologies for the audio on this episode...if you complain about it, you're getting blocked!!!) This episode we discuss the Weinstein sentencing, Sherry Pie's sadistic catfishing, what happens when game shows unwittingly become true crime documentaries, the doxxing of Ru, cancel queens, Bernie's decision to stay in the 2020 democratic primary, the elite conspiracy against the poor, why corporations and big lobbyists want Coronavirus to kill you, the defaming of Jordan Wolfson, the importance of transgression in art, lame narratives, mediocre imposters, and your cynical gaze...

Subscribe to our Patreon! Not US, YOU! http://www.patreon.com/notreally

54. "Not Really Biden" Mar 05, 2020

It's not-so-super Wednesday and Patrik is on fire! We address our previous comments on fibromyalgia, the attention economy and what celebrities will stoop to for relevance, Gaga's new single, the "time to be hated," and Hillary Clinton's pathological narcissism. We also devote the majority of the episode to SUPER TUESDAY, Biden's perceived comeback, underdogs and frontrunners, the pageantry of the democratic primary, narratives and who spins them (and who buys them), Biden's backroom deals with multi-billion-dollar lobbyists, Elizabeth Warren's endgame and insights into her suspicious political ambitions courtesy of feminist scholar Drucilla Cornell, respectability politics, being stereotyped into a voting block, why Bernie still has a shot, what you can do, and how we can help him win, what to say to your friends and family, and how to stay strong and push through! We also touch on the new season of Drag Race, our upcoming merch, and more!

Subscribe to Not Really on Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/notreally

53. But Actually Glam *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Feb 28, 2020

By extremely popular demand, beauty consultant to the stars Alexis Page is back on the podcast to take all (or most) of our listener questions about all things glam: products, skincare, chemicals, French pharmaceuticals, hype brands, moisturizers, lip, teeth, eyes, hair, chins, backs, wrinkles, neck lines, fillers, contouring, dark circles, you name it! Got a problem? Get in line! You may want a pen and paper to take notes on all the products that get mentioned in this extravaganza of drugstore goops you'll need to be an unclockable spook in the geish while shoplifting at Sephora. We also get to the bottom of how much it will cost to launch our own beauty brand. Patreon subscribers, step those pledges up.

Subscribe to our Patreon for the full episode at http://www.patreon.com/notreally!

52. "Not Really Legit" Feb 26, 2020

We're back on our bullshit, throwing ourselves into a rapidfire roulette discussion of the week's pressing controversies, microscandals, and misunderstandings: the moral majority attacks on South Park and Salò, Jameela's Munchausen, Wendy's anti-gay remarks, Richard Dawkins's eugenics proposal, Donald Trump's review of the Oscars, Rosario Dawson's queer baiting, Scott Bixby's Daily Beast story, the deplatforming of Ben Mora, New York's missing winter, Judge Judy's Bloomberg hysteria, the death of Gummy Bear Davis, and Angelyne's new producing career. We also dive into the democratic primary and debunk some of the arguments against Bernie Sanders. Paul embraces his inner Bernie Bro and gets kicked off Twitter. Patrik explores the psychic delusions of the relational health care economy.

We also talk Netflix's Love Is Blind and explore the devastating pathology of Jessica, a cypher for aging single women everywhere. We also parse Carlton's bisexual dilemma and Paul explains the double standard of the bi-nary.

Join our Patreon for a new episode this week, featuring our beauty guru Alexis Page! http://www.patreon.com/notreally

51. "Not Really Romantic" w/ Annabelle Dexter-Jones, Kalena Yiaueki, and Carole Radziwill Feb 18, 2020

Patrik and Paul cozy up in bed at the Marlton Hotel with our love guru Kalena Yiaueki and special guest, Succession star Annabelle Dexter-Jones! We take listener Valentine's Day questions and dive into true romance, covering topics like hygiene, the coronavirus, sexting on planes, airdrop harassment, detransitioning for jobs, stalker behavior, frozen auras, "thawing out," grand gestures, Ali Wise's felony indictment over hacking the voicemails of her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriends, PDA, relationships on Instagram, exhibitionism versus shitposting, the three attachment styles, couples astrology, germaphobia, taking PrEP+, ass shots, our own love lives, general dysfunction, and former Real Housewife of New York Carole Radziwill phones in to answer a question about—what else?—blowjobs!

We hope you had a nice Valentine's Day, head over to our patreon to subscribe to special episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally

50. "Not Really Dead" w/ Mel Ottenberg & Alissa Bennett Feb 13, 2020

It's our 50th episode! Listen as we play dead with superstar stylist, creative director of Interview Magazine, and New York City legend-in-the-making Mel Ottenberg and writer, director of the Gladstone Gallery, and co-host of the podcast The C Word with Lena Dunham, Alissa Bennett! We lounge around in Mel's ultrafabulous apartment right before the Oscars to discuss death, glamour, and rap sheets, along with topics as varied and psychically harrowing as haunted botany, possessed rats, 1970s design, Jim Walrod, IF Boutique Soho, Kenny Kenny, Candy Charms, Voluma Galore, Astro Erle, lip injections, dying alone, scary dolls, Sculptra, Alissa's late '90s modeling career, i-D magazine, Hussein Chalayan, dangerous beauties, bad actresses, Blake Lively, Judy Garland, Janis Joplin, Jackie Jorpjump, gossip, gangbangs, J.Lo's halftime show, O.J.'s bronco chase, Sante Kimes, Vanity Fair, Dominick Dunne, glamour grifters, our own personal arrest records, Renee Zellweger's Oscar dresses, Jennifer Lopez's acting career, Rosie Perez on the witness stand, Harvey Weinstein's trial, and so much gossip between the lines we had to make this two episodes! Head over to patreon.com/notreally for Part 2, our very first MURDER SPECIAL you won't want to miss.

49. "Not Really Sorry" Feb 02, 2020

Patrik gives a perfect apology to a presidential candidate he feuded with on Twitter before we deep dive into the nefarious and suspiciously automated BTS army, discuss the K-Pop boy-band matriculation camp model, talk sleeping through the Grammys, question big tech's arbitrary deplatforming practices, we dive into the "mail bag" to address our bad review, Paul rates the new generation of Drag Race contestants and clocks the spook in the geesh, we jump back into Grammys fashion, and Paul shares his horror story of the Barneys closing sale. We then wonder about a future where society and culture stop relying on Instagram for all sales, commerce, trends, portfolios, job opportunities, legacies, and aesthetics, recite Paul Schrader's amazing review of the Taylor Swift documentary, and Patrik finally coins the perfect hashtag: #NonGirlMagic. Subscribe to Not Really on Patreon for more episodes at http://www.patreon.com/notreally !

48. Bunny Bros PART 2 w/ Amber A'Lee Frost & The Lady Bunny (Part 1 on Patreon.com/notreally) Jan 23, 2020

FOR EPISODE 1 go to Patreon.com/notreally

The guys are joined by Chapo Trap House's Amber A'Lee Frost and legendary drag superstar The Lady Bunny! Listen as they hole up in a luxury hotel suite on Central Park South to discuss American political corruption, Pamela Anderson, the dems' conspiracy against Bernie Sanders, political awakenings, social media, surviving the AIDS crisis, Fox News afterparties, Wigstock, old drag versus new drag, and Bunny's decades-long career serving as the unofficial face (and wig) of New York City while sticking to the seditious underground ethos that drew her to the drag scene to begin with. Check out The Lady Bunny in the HBO documentary Wig, and for more of Amber, support Chapo Trap House at http://www.patreon.com/chapotraphouse! Special thanks to Anna & Dasha for making this happen!

47. Not Really Hustled Jan 18, 2020

On a very serious, politically-charged episode, we explore the human rights crisis of Jennifer Lopez being snubbed by the Academy Awards. Did she deserve to be nominated? We also explore Elizabeth Warren's lowlife smear of Bernie Sanders, the migraine-inducing Netflix reality series "The Circle," the topsy turvy reality denying RuPaul series AJ and the Queen, the wigs at COMME des GARÇONS, Paris Fashion Week highlights and "highlights," Vince Vaughn's brush with Donald Trump, Amelia Bedelia, listener comments, and a sneak peak of our next Patreon which will have your wig spinning.

For more Not Really subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/notreally

46. But Actually 2020 *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Jan 10, 2020

It's officially ELECTION YEAR so we brought back political animal Steven Phillips-Horst to give us the lay of the land. We discuss Iran's missile "accident," World War 3, the Iowa caucuses, Mayor Pete's military background, Chasten's casting process, gay dating apps, Cameron Diaz's legacy, how to fight dirty in battleground states, Yang's tech bro problemo, blue checkmarks, emoji armies, Gina Carano (why?), Soderbergh actresses (why not?) MEGXIT, the allure of capitalism over nobility, Grimes's pregnancy, and why Bernie is the candidate, the only candidate, why he will win, and how to help.

Go to www.patreon.com/notreally for the full episode!

45. Not Really Nominated Jan 07, 2020

New Years Resolutions, Golden Globes, Beyoncé experiences, celebrity grudges, World War 3, Billy Porter, Gay Crises, Ricky Gervais, Laura Dern, J. Lo, the death of fashion, award season, John Stamos, hair gel, whatever...Shut up. Fuck you. We don't even want to be here.

44. Not Really Red Scare Part 2 *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Jan 02, 2020

Welcome to Part Two of the crossover podcast of the decade, and it's only January 1st! For Part One, head over to Red Scare's Patreon page at patreon.com/redscare.

Anna Khachiyan and Dasha Nekrasova of Red Scare join Patrik and Paul to discuss furry fetishes, when fans become stalkers, Ghislaine Maxwell's imminent re-emergence, anal sex across the gender divide, Sue Lyon's death, Little Women, men who love Little Women (like Jeffrey Epstein), neofeminist marketing fails, girlboss narratives gone haywire, Karla Homolka, and serial killers before launching into Paul's reception to Uncut Gems and a sprawling discussion on the movie's merits, marketing, and behind-the-scenes gossip. Paul shares his own diamond district heist tales and we close out talking about Prince Andrew, the British royal family, and where to get the best designer knockoffs so you can spend all your money flying business class. All aboard the Lolita Express!

PART 1

http://www.patreon.com/redscare

PART 2

http://www.patreon.com/notreally

Happy New Year!

43. Not Really Red Scare *TEASER* Full episode on Patreon.com/RedScare Jan 01, 2020

For part one of the podcast crossover of the decade, Dasha Nekrasova and Anna Khachiyan of Red Scare welcome the guys to discuss Obama's year-end list, Bret Stephens' Jewish question, and the new Netflix doc on kitten-killer Luka Magnotta.

Part 1 is available at http://www.patreon.com/redscare

Part 2 coming soon to http://www.patreon.com/notreally

Happy New Year!

42. But Actually the 2010s *PATREON UNLOCKED* Dec 26, 2019

WELCOME TO THE TWENTYTEENS IN JUST UNDER 2 HOURS! It's the end of the decade so we decide to go deep (way too deep) into the subjects, scandals, songs, and situations that defined the 2010s. FaceTime, Fame Monsters, Amanda Bynes, Streetwear, Rihanna, "Representation," Real Housewives, RuPaul, SALEM, Bernie Sanders, Lana Del Rey, Vox Lux, Blog House, Haus of Gaga, Fade To Mind, DIS Magazine, Fitch/Trecartin, Telfar, the Trump Impeachment, Arca, Pink Friday, Physical Therapy, Elite Gymnastics, Art Raves, Beyoncé, Hypebeast, Hood By Air, the Sony Hack, Lauren Devine, Caitlyn Jenner, Face Swap, Chat Roulette, Spotify, Scorsese, Sky Ferreira, Scary Island, the best movies of the past ten years, and all the parties we care to remember.

See you in 2020, no Barbara.

Subscribe to Not Really's premium episodes to get episodes like this one early, plus bonus episodes you'll never otherwise hear: http://www.patreon.com/notreally

41. Not Really Plus Dec 14, 2019

Art Basel Miami Beach, Jennifer Aniston's face, Reese Witherspoon's wig, Peloton's wife, Marriage Story, the Department of Motor Vehicles, angry fans, The Golden Globes, 90 Day Fiancé, 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, 90 Day Fiancé: Before The 90 Days The Cast Tells All Pillow Talk Edition, The Irishman, Baby Yoda, Amy Sedaris, the Screen Actors Guild, Khloe Kardashian Simpson, Ramona Singer, Charles Manson, and many more dazzling topics await you in the latest episode of this, your favorite podcast in the world.

Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes including our landmark End of Decade Recap, available now! http://www.patreon.com/notreally

41. "But Actually The 2010's" *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Dec 01, 2019

FULL EPISODE ON PATREON.com/NOTREALLY

WELCOME TO THE TWENTYTEENS IN JUST UNDER 2 HOURS! It's the end of the decade so we decide to go deep (way too deep) into the subjects, scandals, songs, and situations that defined the 2010s. Forget your garden variety end-of-decade wrap-ups because this two-headed acid flashback has it all: FaceTime, Fame Monsters, Amanda Bynes, Streetwear, Rihanna, "Representation," Real Housewives, RuPaul, SALEM, Bernie Sanders, Lana Del Rey, Vox Lux, Blog House, Haus of Gaga, Fade To Mind, DIS Magazine, Fitch/Trecartin, Telfar, the Trump Impeachment, Arca, Pink Friday, Physical Therapy, Elite Gymnastics, Art Raves, Beyoncé, Hypebeast, Hood By Air, the Sony Hack, Lauren Devine, Caitlyn Jenner, Face Swap, Chat Roulette, Spotify, Scorsese, Sky Ferreira, Scary Island, the best movies of the past ten years, and all the parties we care to remember.

See you 2020, no Barbara.

Let us know your favorite things from this past decade in the comments!

40. "Not Really Photosexual w/ PETER BERLIN Nov 24, 2019

This week we sat down with self-created icon Peter Berlin on his recent trip to New York to promote his new book Peter Berlin: Icon, Artist, Photosexual. We laughed, we cried, and according to Berlin's definition of SEX, we may have HAD IT while recording.

Im pretty sure this week we were guests on HIS show which is nice departure from us blah blah blabbin away.

For more NOT REALLY head on over to patreon.com/notreally for premium episodes and follow us on insta at @notreallypod

Here a little more about Peters new book from Amazon:

Peter Berlin was a self-created icon. With his trademark pageboy haircut and his skin-tight costumes that put every detail of his anatomy on display (designed and tailored by Berlin himself to accentuate his already naturally defined physique), he became a gay sex symbol and a walking work of art. Cruising was his career, and with a background in photography, Berlin began taking thousands of erotic self-portraits in the parks, train stations and streets of Berlin, Rome, Paris, New York and San Francisco, where he settled in the early 1970s. As Berlin put it, “One day I looked at a camera and said, ‘I have found my dream lover.’” Berlin’s ’70s and ’80s self-portrait photography graced the covers of gay magazines, defining a look and a reimagined masculinity in a changing gay male culture. Spotlighting Berlin’s significant body of work, Peter Berlin: Icon, Artist, Photosexual pays tribute to the man who revolutionized the landscape of gay male eroticism and became an international sensation. The book is designed by Omar Sosa, Creative Director of Apartamento magazine, and is edited by Michael Bullock, writer and publisher of BUTT, Pin-Up, Fantastic Man and Gentlewoman magazines. In addition to essays by Hans Ulrich Obrist, Jonathan David Katz, Ted Stansfield and Evan Moffitt, the book includes original quotes about Berlin by Jeremy O Harris, Kembra Pfahler, Andre Leon Talley, Armistead Maupin, John Waters, Arca, Silvia Prada, AA Bronson, Jack Pierson, Simon Foxton, Chris Moukarbel, Telfar Clemens, Paul Sepuya, Tim Blanks, Mariah Garnett and Rick Castro.

39. *TEASER* "But Actually, TV".. now on patreon.com/notreally Nov 15, 2019

Go to PATREON.COM/NOTREALLY for the full episode!

Don't touch that dial! Paul and Patrik address their recent call outs from the bitter brigade and Patrik wonders if culture has collapsed under reverse Reaganism. Then we go into our Top Ten Favorite TV Shows Of All Time! A spiritual stepsister to our But Actually The Movies Patreon special from August, this episode we discuss the series that sculpted the wretched personalities you have before you now. Keep screenshotting our haters, we like to identify them in the wild! Let us know your favorite series in the comments.

And a special rejoinder to our last free episode regarding GoFundMe culture: our dear friend Leigha is in need of lung surgery and has a GoFundMe of her own! Please go there and chip in. Leigha is punk and awesome—she once survived being stabbed in the chest during the uprising in Greece—so let's help her out. Link below!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/lung-surgery-for-leigha

38. "Not Really Click-Bait" Nov 01, 2019

Paul's back from Tampa and Patrik's back from the brink of death!and we both have new tvs to show for it.... We have a new crush and his name is Kalvin Garrah defffff go check out his youtube page...

Im a bit hungover from halloween so lets just make the description a LIST, OK?

TransTRENDERS

Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson

DEMONITIZED

the conspiracy palette

Kanye WEST and his sister LINDY West

Watchmen

Race and the Real Housewives

Sitcoms

Isis

Dragula

Letterboxd

Don't forget to follow us on insta at @notreallypod and check out our premium episodes at patreon.com/notreally

Seeeee yaaa!

37. "But Actually, Beauty" *PATREON UNLOCKED* Oct 26, 2019

Paul's away this week so here's one of our most popular Patreon episodes.. If you wanna hear part TWO head over to patreon.com/notreally for part 2!

Take a long, hard, look in the mirror girls. It's beauty time. On what is categorically Paul's favorite Not Really episode to date, our hosts are joined by New York's most elite beauty consultant, Alexis Page (M.A.C, Glossier, Pat McGrath Labs, Urban Outfitters, the list goes on). Alexis spills the foundation on her own foundation, how she came to be an in-demand product developer and beauty business expert, a job that has taken her from the backstages of New York Fashion Week to Paris, Beijing, and all around the world with the legendary Pat McGrath. We get the insider gossip on formulas, labs, celebrity brands, and more. If you're a brand ho or a product queen, get out your pen and paper. You're going to want to take notes. This conversation was actually so engrossing that we recorded for 3 hours and decided to split the episode into two parts. Part 2 will be out later this week. If you submitted questions for Alexis and we do not get to them in Part 1, stick around for the second half!

Follow Alexis @bikinikilled

35. "Not Really a Joker, Judy" Oct 11, 2019

fEeL sPoOOooooKy this week as we get into our FaVoRiTe gHoULs Joker, Judy Garland, Trisha Paytas, Ellen Degeneres, and Roy Cohn!

Thanks to everyone thats been subscribing to patreon.com/notreally

NEXT WEEK IS OUR 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY. DROP US A LINE AT 347-709-2704 or Email us at notreallypod@gmail.com and be sure to follow us at @notreallypod on insta

Bye cuties

34. "Not Really Nostalgic" Sep 26, 2019

*FIXED SOUND*

Honestly, what DON'T we talk about this episode? At one point we compare Giuliana Rancic to Chipotle then Starbucks' burnt coffee...

DONT @ US

#IT2 #impeachment #donaldtrump #gretathunberg #Nostalgia #cutiepatootie #stagemoms #remakes #fatmodels #LEAVErupaulALONE #removetheTfromLGBT #OUTmagazine #margiela #JonathanVanNess #DemiMoore #Af2 #Etruehollywoodstory #behindthemusic #vh1 #IMaPeachMan

Also if you are not already, which i can SEE YOU ARE NOT, subscribing to our patreon for bonus episodes then head to https://patreon.com/notreally and FUCKING SUBSCRIBE ALREADY.

Follow us on instgram at @notreallypod

<3

31. "Not Really Little Gay Boys" w/ @Natasha_Stagg Aug 26, 2019

This week we are joined by author of SLEEVELESS, Natasha Stagg (available October 8th wherever books are sold!!!)..

I think maybe a mic is broken and OF COURSE our guest just so happened to be the lucky one to get it so if you hear her mic going in and out just go with it dudes.. just be cool..

We start with Bethany Frankel quitting Real Housewives of New York, the new housewife Leah McSweeney (founder of Married to the Mob, (yeah the brand that was sued by Supreme (and supreme lost lol))), Angry Birds 2, Good Boys, Dora the Explorer (I got a Regal Unlimited card so i saw a lot of good movies this week...).. The pronunciation of Ghislaine Maxwell, photoshop fails, binging, popeyes chicken, Euphoria, Mecca Revlon, molly, Faye Dunaway, Little Gay boys, Little homosexuals, Tomi Lahrens new gun toting athleisure line, queer as folk, queer as Lword, queer as queer and QUEER. Oh, and Mindhunter.

C YA

X

30. "Not Really Dead" w/Fredo Aug 14, 2019

Jeffrey Epstein's DEAD, wtf is Ghislaine Maxwell, is she at Equinox? Pedo Island? are we qualified to answer these questions? what about relationship questions? are we qualified for those? NOT REALLY.

This week paul learns the term PLEAGE AND DITCH and turns into a real CUOMO about it.

take a visit to our insta at @notreallypod

and

Leave us a cute rating on the pod app

and

for bonus episodes visit us at https://www.patreon.com/notreally

Honestly, what more could you ask for.

C Y SUCKAS <3

29. "Not Really Dark Psychic Forces" Aug 09, 2019

Ughh we got a little cocky in the beginning with the threats of a RAW AND UNCUT episode this week... but ... the Dark Psychic Forces were trying to get us as we recorded this episode THREE TIMES IN A ROW due to technical difficulties... We thought we had lost all the files but were able to retrieve all three to make up THIS VERY EPISODE! Hope you enjoy it cause it was a fucking bitch to edit.

This week we CHANT about Depression, Wellbutrin, nightmares, The New York Magazine story on Ivanka Trump, Barney's filing for bankruptcy, The Valley of the Dolls audio book narrated by Laverne Cox (sorry Laverne in advance), Why we love Lena Dunham, what pills we should be taking, The Little Mermaid LIVE, MOLE PEOPLE from the documentary DARK DAYS, possible new broadway plays, Kanye West's homeless shelter DOMES, Toni Morrission, Victoria Secret's new (and FIRST) trans model, Trans model SCAMMERS, representation, gay movies, voguing, EQUINOX, Paris is Burning, Succession, HBO, gay, gay, gay, and GAY, BYEE

Dont forget to check out our premium Patreon episodes at https://patreon.com/notreally

Hit us up on instagram at @notreallypod

Thank for listening kiddos, LOVE YA.

28. "Not Really Hollywood" Jul 26, 2019

Your favs are BACK and WORSE THAN EVER! This is HOLLYWOOD BABY! We talk about Leo, Quentin, Faye, Denzel, Lupita, Marvel, M'onique, CATS, Martin Scorsese, Euphoria, TWITTER, Ladyfag, ANNA DELVEY, ya know, THE LEGENDS.

27. "Not Really Ranked" *PATREON UNLOCKED* Jul 19, 2019

The complete history of Socialite Rank! The gossip blog that took Manhattan by storm for a single year in 2006. Mentions: Paris Hilton, Reality TV, Celebrity, Tinsley Mortimer, Cotillion, Upper East Side, AIDS charities, Jules Darling Kirby, Lydia Hearst, Perez Hilton, early Photoshop, Fabiola Beracasa, Firewall Injunctions, Cy Vance, Litigators, Olivia Palermo, the CW, Gossip Girl, Cocaine, Marquee Nightclub, Brandon Davis, New York City, Celebutards, Page Six, MySpace, Britney Spears, Heiress Records, Town & Country, The Real Housewives, New York Magazine, Countess Luann, Truman Capote, Happy Rockefeller, Gloria Vanderbilt, Genevieve Jones, Patty Hearst, Prince Casimir Sayn-Wittgenstein-Sayn, Nazi Germany, Dale Mercer, Babe Paley, Porn Stars, The Recession, People's Revolution, Kelly Cutrone, MTV, The Hills, High Society, Malik So Chic, Bitsy, Buffy, Mitsy, Muffy, Lulu, Bunny, Poppy, Minnie, Dabney, and the incestuous duo behind it all! A Special Thank You To @lisajeanspears for her dramatic reading of Olivia Palermo's infamous email heard around the world. For further reading: The Number-One Girl (New York Magazine) http://nymag.com/news/people/31555/ NOT REALLY is your necessary acerbic, gay take on all things pop cultural and happening, with hosts Patrik and Paul of the New York City out-crowd. On their weekly free podcast, they weigh in on contemporary phenomena dominating the scroll. On Patreon, they dive into topics everyone should be discussing. Don't miss it! Special shout out to EMILIE and her new found escape from the jail called NON BINARY. Welcome back to the CIS DIMENSION! We love you no matter what tho... (NOT REALLY) Leave us a message: 347-709-2704 to be featured on our future MAILHAG special!

26. "Not Really The Cook, The Thief and The BITCH" w/ Steven Phillips Horst Jul 13, 2019

This week we are joined by Steven Phillips Horst ( @gossipbabies on twitter) and get his take on Jeffrey Epstein's decor, Patrik's visit to the Epstein castle, Stevens top 4 picks for 2020 and a few more things but my brain is too fried to write in here and be funny... head over to patreon also to get some premium content https://www.patreon.com/notreally

Thanks for listening cuties. x

25. "Not Really Staring at a Blank Page" Jun 27, 2019

WE NEED A PRIDE BREAK. We talk about The Hills. We talk about Amanda Knox. We talk about Paz De La Huerta. We at talk about Jack Nicolson. We at talk about how to spot a liar. We at talk about Wellbutrin. We at talk about MURDER.

Please rate and review on apple!

Feel free to leave us a voicemail this week with any comments at 347-709-2704 or at instagram at @notreallypod.

For our premium episodes visit us at https://www.patreon.com/notreally

Special thanks to Darren this week for helping us with volume control! Does it sound louder? let us know or dont. Just stop complaining already.

24. "Not Really a Tranny" w/ Vivian Jun 22, 2019

Patrik is away for work this week so Paul is joined by Vivian ( @v__i___v__i ). This week they discuss Viv's most recent Korean plastic surgery journey. WARNING: it gets graphic and.. um.. scary.. but its gay pride month so hey, it also GETS BETTER. Paul discovers trans women are getting castrated literally in his own backyard. Vivianne learns the correct shape of an egg. Paul FINALLY gets a pass to say the word TRANNY without repercussions. Vivianne schools Paul on life as a transexual woman navigating thru Asia, and Paul schools Vivianne about his new (in his head) beef with Whoopi and the ladies of the View. Take notes cause we learn some new vocabulary words this week like Orchiectomy, Cassi, and Rice Queen. Patrik calls in a quick Paris Fashion week update and his take on Chrissy Teigen's recent tweets about Bernie Sanders and his supporters. COME BACK SOON PATRIK!

Feel free to leave us a voicemail this week with any comments at 347-709-2704 or at instagram at @notreallypod.

For our premium episodes visit us at https://www.patreon.com/notreally

<3

Also, YEAH I GET IT you think the volume is too low... I'm working on learning how to fix it.. Im a podaster not a MAGICIAN!

2. "But Actually RANK" (now on PATREON) *TEASER* Jun 17, 2019

NOT REALLY is your necessary acerbic, gay take on all things pop cultural and happening, with hosts Patrik and Paul of the New York City out-crowd. On their weekly free podcast, they weigh in on contemporary phenomena dominating the scroll. On Patreon, they dive into topics everyone should be discussing. Don't miss it!

This week, the complete history of Socialite Rank@ the Gossip blog that took manhattan by storm for a single year in 2006.

Head to https://www.patreon.com/notreally to unlock this episode now!

23. "Not Really a Mugshot" Jun 12, 2019

The worlds most "powerful" drag (umm- drag race) queens, according to New York Magazine....is the infamous Hollywood Madame Heidi Fleiss making a comeback? Paul went on a boat, and Patrik went to Jeremy Scott's Moschino show at Universal Studios, WHO HAD MORE FUN? Tales of the City, The Tony's, Tinsley Mortimer's new beau BILLY BUSH, and probably some other stuff is in here too, I dont even know at this point. Check out our patreon this friday at https://www.patreon.com/notreally

for a new bonus pay-for-play episode. follow us on twitter at @notreallyFM and on instagram @notreallypod

22. "Not Really Pride" Jun 06, 2019

Happy Gay Pandering Month! do we actually care tho? Not really... this week we saw Elton John's self produced biopic Rocketman (so you dont have to) and listened to a podcast about the math of happiness and came to the conclusion once again that we are doing everything WRONG. We finally found GAY SCAMMER PRINCE we can get behind. Later we realize everyone on Sesame Street may in fact be already homeless.

Dont forget to check out our new patreon https://www.patreon.com/notreally and as always hit us with a call if you need to vent 347-709-2704.

**some of you have said that the sound is too low.. we fixed that..we think... LET US KNOW

1. "But Actually Reality" (now on PATREON) *TEASER* May 30, 2019

On our inaugural PATREON episode we take a much asked for DEEP dive into the Beverly Hills and New York Housewives... THEN immediately spiral out of control when we discuss Patrik's recent Instagram comment feud with public relations/reality star, histrionic legend Kelly Cutrone.

NOT REALLY is your necessary acerbic, gay take on all things pop cultural and happening, with hosts Patrik and Paul of the New York City OUT-crowd. On their weekly free podcast, they weigh in on contemporary phenomena dominating the scroll. On Patreon, they dive into topics everyone SHOULD be discussing. Don't miss it! Subscribe now at https://www.patreon.com/notreally

21. "Not Really an Incel" May 30, 2019

Are Incels in fact REAL? Is Moby and Incel or a Chad? What is a GAY Incel? The REAL reason Lana Del Rey changed her name from Lizzie Grant? Do Stormcels hate Tyronnes? Can you trust the New York Times? DO ALIENS EXIST? Am I pretty? Whats the best show on TV right now? If you guessed it its @v__i___v__i instagram profile you could be right. All this and LESS on This weeks episode. Head on over to https://www.patreon.com/notreally and subscribe to our new pay-for-play channel where this week we go deep into housewives and Patriks new FEUD with PR Legend Kelly Cutrone. As always feel free to give us a call at 347-709-2704 with any comments or questions.

20. "Not Really Employable" May 24, 2019

John Waters new book, Dancing with the stars, Game of Thrones, The Avengers, SPOILERS, Freelancers, creative directors, Uber Silent mode, James Charles, Tati and Jeffree Star (again cause WHY NOT), Calvin Klein, RHOBh.

Give us a call 347-709-2704. and dont forget to rate and comment on itunes <3

19. "Not Really Sister" May 14, 2019

James Charles, Jeffree Star, Tati, Gage Gomez, Morphe Cosmetics, Calabasas, Serial Killers, Kris Jenner, Tampa, Florida, YouTube, Influencers, Coachella, Sugar Bear Hair, Homophobia, Hypocrisy, Russian Roulette, RuPaul's Drag Race, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Gay Predators, Child Stars, Sinister Agents, Gay Straight Guys, Sinister Agents, Disloyal Sisters, and so much more! This episode was recorded via mobile phone, apologies for the strange and surreal audio experience. Drop us a line and leave us a rating.

17. "Not Really Managing" w/ Kalena Apr 24, 2019

Paul and Patrik are living proof that when you work for every gay legend in New York City, you never come out on top. That's why Kalena (@yiauekitalki) is back by popular demand to take a couple listener questions about how to beat stress and steer the workforce like a pro. The elusive Haley Wollens joins the pod as our hosts discuss their sordid work histories, argue over their presumed leadership skills, name names, defame [REDACTED] and face the bleak realization that college, interning, and upward mobility were lies designed to rob them. IS THAT ALL THERE IS? Shout out to fabulous fashion mavens VAQUERA NYC and the brilliant podcast NYMPHOWARS Whose names got bleeped? Take a wild guess on our Reddit forum (someone start one)! You thought true New York gossip was dead? Think again.

16. "Not Really Sold" Apr 11, 2019

Ladies Who Punch, Selling Sunset, 30 Rock, Red Scare, Who? Weekly, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Barbara Walters, Page Six, Mayor DeBlasio, Mo’Nique, VH1, Sex & The City, Family Guy, Apple+, Jennifer Aniston, Cheri Oteri, and the Marvelous Mrs. Measles, Andrea Peyser, put that in the New York Fucking Post!!!!!!

GIVE US A CALL at 1-347-709-2704

15. "Not Really Dieters" Mar 24, 2019

Facebook is an accessory to mass murder and Instagram is sending fashion designers to the gulag, so Patrik and Paul decide to go deep on the ills of social media and talk frankly about who they think deserves a major unfollow. Also: who is Elizabeth Holmes? Has Rose McGowan been kidnapped and cloned? And what the hell is happening with Wendy Williams? Listen to a special message from artist Jeanette Hayes! Give us a call at (347) 709-2704 Plus: tune in to see Paul creep around every background shot of this week's Real Housewives of New York!

14. "Not Really Becky" w/Zoma Crum-Tesfa Mar 15, 2019

As Aunt Becky from Full House surrenders to the FBI for her part in a criminal university fraud syndicate, Paul and Patrik prance to the Upper East Side to chat with writer Zoma Crum-Tesfa about Real Housewives, flirting with Sonja's boyfriends, the Vanderpump Dogs saga, and the politics of being a reality star in Beverly Hills.

13. "Not Really Neverland" Mar 06, 2019

Everyone's watching it but no one will talk about it. The kid gloves are off (worst joke), as Patrik and Paul tackle the thorny legacy of Michael Jackson, the king of pop and the immortally spellbinding demon of depravity. *Our audio slave is on vacation so excuse any sound issues this week If you want a place to air your frustrations about the HBO Michael Jackson molestation documentary "Leaving Neverland," drop us a voicemail on our line. Unless you specify, all calls are anonymous! CALL NOW! 1(347)709-2704

10. "Not Really Fashion Week" Jan 25, 2019

Patrik is back from Paris and Paul's back from the brink! The girls discuss the men's shows, MAGA teens, drag queens, Oscar nominees, and dig up some old grudges in the service of interrogating the Internet's epidemic of misplaced rage. Why does Paul happen to be present at the scene of every celebrity breakdown? Has fashion become too hetero? Who cares about abortion protestors? Find out nothing on an all new episode. Disclaimer: Due to Paul's cold and addiction to snacking, this episode has been condensed and edited to prevent nausea and vomiting. If symptoms persist, see a physician or get over it!

9. "Not Really Glamour" (w/ @melzy917) Jan 14, 2019

Break up with hate and let's get back to joy! Stylist to the stars Mel Ottenberg swings by to talk Hollywood, murder, and Drag Race. Who spends money to look cheap head-to-toe? Whose lips need a six month deflation cycle? Whose eyelashes are a cautionary tale of fast living in Manhattan? And what will win Best Picture!? Stay away from Gilgo Beach and welcome to our very own three month fever in 60 minutes or less.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? leave us a message at (347)709-2704

Follow us at @notreallypod

8. "Not Really Sexy" Jan 09, 2019

Let’s talk about—ewww, it’s a sex episode. Cover your ears, grannies. Our newly anointed love guru Kalena Yiaueki takes listener questions about sex and romance and dishes on first date beverages, catfishing, Madonna complexes, the sex recession, and why our generation is so totally lost when it comes to intimacy of any kind whatsoever. Nothing is off limits and everything is doable...if you’re Paul. Trigger warning: we’re all single and this is why.

Episode 7 "Not Really Housewives" Dec 27, 2018

On a special holiday episode of NOT REALLY, Patrik's sister Catie joins the girls to discuss all things reality TV: Real Housewives of New Jersey and Atlanta, 90 Day Fiancé, Vanderpump Rules, and new recommendations just for the fans. Come for the lesbian rumors and plastic surgery breakdowns. Stay for Paul's impersonation of Margaret Josephs: he'll make you laugh, OR MAKE YOU CRY!

Episode 6: "NOT REALLY SIS" (w/ Shayne Oliver) Nov 26, 2018

On a very special holiday episode recorded on Thanksgiving Night, Patrik and Paul are joined by Shayne Oliver and the Ghost of Christmas past to read their sisters, battle over rap queens, take on the homophobic wokeness apparatus, and kick off Black Friday with recommendations for movies, gay incest thrillers, celebrities to unfollow, and much, much, more (way too much, actually). Don't @ us. This conversation never happened.

Episode 5: "NOT REALLY INFLUENCING" (w/ Harley & JP) Nov 19, 2018

This week Patrik and Paul are Joined by their *Youth Correspondents* Harley and JP Did they make the OUT100 this year? Are they influencers? Whats the difference between a Little Mix and a Whoa Vicky? SO many questions and as usual so little answers...

Episode 4: "NOT REALLY QUEEN" Nov 15, 2018

Are Paul and Patrik theater queens? Cher's latest triumph has our hosts assimilating rapidly into midlife cliches. Speaking of queens, Bohemian Rhapsody is a new hetero fairytale destined to distort facts forever! The Real Housewives has entered turbo pig out mode with two new seasons, which begs the questions: Is NeNe rich? Does Beverly Hills still have "it"? And how many people has Danielle Staub actually murdered? Check out our gorgeous new avatar and push this podcast onto your friends, pronto!

Episode 3: “NOT REALLY CLUELESS” Oct 30, 2018

Patrik takes it all back: Paramount has announced a Clueless remake and he’s furious! Paul and Patrik discuss the problem with Hollywood remakes, gay psychic trauma, how Countess Luann torpedoed Megyn Kelly’s career with a bad wig, Madonna’s latest drop, Robyn’s flawless album, and a $60,000 idea Paul should have saved for a really expensive fucking Patreon special! But now you get to hear it for free.

Episode 1? : "NOT REALLY DIVINE" Oct 24, 2018

Patrik and Paul learn valuable lessons from episode zero...but not really. The hosts dig deep into recessed childhood memories to locate the origin of their fascination with drag legend Divine, and discuss an assortment of gay-interest Hollywood castings. Plus: how to victimize yourself for clicks, a timely measles announcement, and the totally true and not really defamatory story of Kanye West’s long-rumored fling with Amanda Lepore.

Episode Zero: "NOT REALLY AN EPISODE" Oct 19, 2018

15 attempts in, Patrik and Paul finally figure out how to record and upload a podcast, welcoming themselves to the world of broadcasting not with a bang, but with a lot of whining.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected