No Such Thing As Love

SPECIAL EPISODE: Jessie and Claire Present Sep 26, 2022

It turns out Jessie & Claire can't stay away from oversharing for too long. They popped back on their mics to tell you about their VIRTUAL live show coming up on 9.28 at 8pm EST. But it doesn't stop there! They also had to share about the latest with the matchmaker and a new crush for Claire and Jessie's big trip home with Mr Boyfriend to meet family!

Undoubtedly you'll want more of their updates and antics so buy your ticket with the link below to watch online live or even watch the recording later. They're just desperate for you to watch!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/jessie-claire-present-its-a-show-tickets-422179178287

Following The Fun Aug 17, 2022

What a wild ride it's been. Jessie and Claire started No Such Thing As Love as a live show 5 years ago to share their silly dating stories with other comedians. After countless good, bad, and meh moments and 3+ years of the podcast, it's time to close this chapter. The ladies spend this last episode reminiscing about all the ridiculous dates, hilarious points of view, and most importantly, the growth they've experienced along the way.

Stay tuned for their exciting new monthly video show starting in September!

Touching Your Love Language Aug 10, 2022

Mistaken text identities, mismatched love languages, and missed calendar tasks. Claire did a some swooning and reflecting while watching Wolverine tap in some snug pants. Jessie has been working on what her new love language means now that she's out of her coffin. Both ladies want a pool but one on her finger and the other at her toes.

Fight Level 1 Achieved Aug 03, 2022

Is a relationship real before you have the first big fight? Or you take him shopping with your best friend? Both things happened this week and the ladies, and Boyfriend, lived to tell the tales. Claire was officially asked to join a polyamorous relationship aka a volleyball team and Jessie over prepped for a night of cyber lovin' that never was.

Right to Bare Forearms Jul 27, 2022

Show me that forearm, Chef. Jessie & Claire chat about the hotness of a muscular forearm and the primal loin tingles that it causes. But the tingles don't stop there. Show them a curvy calf and a bold brow and they'll be weak in the knees. They ladies make their way down a body and end abruptly with idea of sitting on a lap. The good news is they have a big shopping trip coming up with Boyfriend and thanks to a nice guy, Claire is going to give team sports another try.

(end song Stray Cat Strut by Stray Cats)

Travel Communication Jul 13, 2022

Live from the beach and fresh off a successful communication.

Baby, You're A Firework Jul 06, 2022

Still wearing their earplugs from the firework festivities, Jessie and Claire chat about Mr Boyfriend joining in a group activity and all the smooching that ensued. Claire may or may not have been setup but also failed to make anything happen with an old flame because of her horrible texting habits. One of the ladies will never change while the other is now a bonafide Girlfriend.

Not If, When Jun 29, 2022

It's time to celebrate yourself! Whether you're finally coming out, successfully enjoying your first trip with a boyfriend, or just celebrating Hug Holiday, give yourself an applause break. Jessie shares the fun of her trip and how her fears started to creep in. Claire lets us know how her 2nd Tawkify date went and how she celebrated this momentous Pride week.

It's In The Charts with Rachel Lang Jun 22, 2022

Everything we know about Jessie and Claire is validated this week by an insightful chat with intuitive astrologer to the stars (Claire & all her friends), Rachel Lang. They gaze beyond their sun signs to see what relationships look like for them and what desires they were destined to have. But before they look to the stars, the ladies talk about the momentous best friend & boyfriend meeting. After a conversation prompt from Jessie, Claire & Mr Boyfriend dove into references and appreciations; leaving Jessie sitting quietly.

It's My Treat Jun 15, 2022

Sometimes a kiss is not just a kiss. And sometimes he should never not pay the tab. Now that Jessie has a "boyfriend" (!!!!), it's time to talk about money and relationships and how soon is too soon to start talking finances. Claire is prepping for an exciting week with one and a half dates! But by darting a suggestion from Jessie, Claire realizes why her date was more than just 2 scared people. It's called growth, babe.

What's In A Label Jun 08, 2022

Do happy endings need to have a label? What is the difference in being labeled "girlfriend" and being exclusive? Jessie and Claire tackle these questions and contemplate many more because what is a big step in a relationship if you don't question everything?! Jessie also witnesses a foreign friend language and Claire has a touchy feely brunch time hookup. Nothing says sexy like glaring sunlight.

Keeping The Hope Jun 01, 2022

When you slide into the week at an optimistic peak, you're destined for disappointment. But is that really so bad? Jessie and Claire talk about how the fear of disappointment can prevent greatness. How saying you want to be exclusive can take you on a rollercoaster journey of reactions. How showing up means more than physically being there. How being social and day drinking can revive a sleepy libido. And how the aforementioned day drinking can make you cry at the drop of a hat.

Exclusive Optimism May 25, 2022

Is that optimism in the air or is it just summer sweat? After bowing out of a hook-up that made her leg shake, Claire goes on a semi-blind date that left her optimistically confused. Jessie escaped disappointment with a redo date that teased her Victorian flirtation dreams. Apparently there's more than one way to get horizontal.

Taking Its Sweet Time May 18, 2022

Woman plans. Universe laughs. Jessie has experienced the longest delay of fun with her new date while the universe continues to throw obstacles of patience. Thanks to Mr Friend and his karaoke bday, the ladies have been social as well as getting in their diner time. They also talk through the cantankerous article, Single People Need to Boycott These 5 Frustrating Dating Behaviours Immediately.

In Sickness And In Health May 11, 2022

Texts aren't just a way to communicate, they're also a way to unexpectedly start a full rollercoaster of emotions! Claire had the pleasure of discovering this alt use when a blast from the past sent an innocent "hi." Jessie also got text bombed but she had the chance to sever a loose end. Thanks to allergy season, Jessie was also able to unlock some trauma before sneezing in front of a new date. Who needs Zyrtec when you have therapy?!

New Dates and Old Triggers May 04, 2022

The ladies have been busy recovering from their trip, continuing to celebrate the never ending birthday, marking off expensive dates, and being triggered like the good ole days. Claire officially went on her first Tawkify date and realized her preferences needed a little fine tuning. Jessie left her beloved neighborhood for a successful day date but was later triggered by the slightest whisper of a euphemism. Old habits die hard.

Nada De Amor Em Portugal Apr 27, 2022

Jessie and Claire are back to tell the tales of their 2 part Portugal trip. It was filled with limping pigeons, physical attacks by the visually impaired, Scooby-Dooing in the shower, special time for fun or paranoia, and best of all, moaning.

We Used To Be Bad At Dating Apr 20, 2022

Jessie and Claire take a trip down memory lane when they were embarrassingly bad at dating. Are they proud? No. Are they laughing at their own toxicity? You better believe it. Jessie talks about her bean bag experience with the cute, albeit a feckboi, bartender. Claire remembers her face eating kissing style and moss beds for outdoor sex. They really, really hope all those love interests now have fuzzy, foggy memories.

(end song Circle by Sarah McLachlan)

Zero To Some Potential Apr 13, 2022

In the glow of her birthday approaching, Claire tried to put her Feeld membership to use. We're all thankful for the pre-hookup chemistry check because spoiler, he's the worst. Jessie gave a suitor with potential 3 tries but now he's out. They're both ready for their trip to Portugal and hungry for some potential fun!

A Refreshing Date with "Mr Friend" Apr 06, 2022

Dates can be friends! As proven by Jessie's recent date with Alex, or as he's known on the streets, "Mr Friend." He joins the ladies to talk about his side of the date with Jessie and the complexities/annoyances of different dating apps. Claire gives an update on her LONG anticipated date through the matchmaker. No spoilers but it went as expected. It didn't happen.

Strictly Non-Monogamous Mar 30, 2022

How can you even explore non-monogamy when you haven't had a monogamous relationship in years? Jessie and Claire dive into the topic of non-monogamy after taking a course with sex and relationship therapist, Rachel Wright. They cover common misconceptions and societal norms we all need to unlearn. Jessie also chats about her recent suitor who exclusively invites her to ticketed events at Madison Square Garden. Which could be the best night of her life or a true terror.

Suggest Don't Show Mar 23, 2022

Celebrating National Let's Laugh Day, Jessie and Claire are filled with laughs as they discuss the Summer of Thighs, sending sexy photos, erotic balls, and their enthusiasm to make out in public. They also answer a listener's question about handling their lover's kinks. Send in those questions to nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com! (end song I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner)

Chess Players are Liars Mar 16, 2022

Can you trust someone who says they want to "catch up" but they've only ever known your sweet sweet body? It's hard to not believe them when the sweater is tight on the arms and the comfort is very appealing. After discovering the blatant lies that were told to Jessie, Claire talks about when she cheated in a threesome, they weigh the difference of physical and emotional cheating, and they both confess to threatening friends' boyfriends. They're nothing if not supportive friends.

Girl, We Tried Mar 09, 2022

The ladies heard the rudder scraping in the mud and decided to change metaphors and generate some content. Jessie & Claire hit the town this weekend! Did they really not like the inventory in 7 different bars? Did Claire prematurely buy drinks at all of them? Did Claire also shat herself days later? She really wishes one of those wasn't true.

Compliments not Flattery Mar 02, 2022

After sharing their disgust for Netflix no longer allowing a full binge on new seasons (it isn't cable!), the ladies share their updates, knowledge, and bold opinions. Claire had to proactively reach out to the matchmaker she pays to be proactive but she also put some of that energy in to chatting with some peeps on Hinge. Jessie rescheduled a listener's setup to make the most of the February blues. With semi-fresh wounds, they dissect the article "3 Ways to Distinguish ‘Love Bombing’ From Healthy Early Relationship Behavior" and then jump into their thoughts on the latest Love is Blind. There were winners and they weren't the ones who found love.

Groundhogging Insecurities Feb 23, 2022

Jessie and Claire share the newest dating term, groundhogging, and falsely believe it doesn't apply to them. But with both of their updates, they revisit some old insecurities and reactions that make us all wonder if their emotions are groundhogging them. Who can blame them when they're fooled by a hat and an obnoxious stand-up?

Plus One Required Feb 16, 2022

Attention all wedding hosts: you are now hereby required to give a "plus one" to all single guests. The ladies have spoken and therefore it is now law. The ladies also get into season 2 of Love is Blind and are quite relieved they didn't hit send on their submissions. Jessie went on an actual dinner date with a man in a button down and now has a new standard for dates. Or at least new hopes.

Love Bomb Swindler Feb 09, 2022

The ladies are catching up from weeks lost in January. Jessie has 3 dates this week and already turned down a matchmaker setup. Claire asked for help, for one of the first times in her life, at the same time as inflicting psychological warfare on herself in the wake of 6'10's ghost. They also discuss the recipe for their Tinder Swindlers which doesn't include private jets and designer labels. Only asking questions and dating in their neighborhoods. They're easy targets.

Back from the Dead Feb 02, 2022

Jessie saw the light and has finally returned to life with a little help from Pedialyte and extensive sleep. Claire gives a disappointing 6.10 update and assures us that her matchmaker hasn't ghosted her. Yet. Jessie had a surprising exchange with an old fling while on her deathbed that was really touching. But with no physical contact. And both ladies believe January didn't count so they're excited for the new year now that we're in February.

Big Security with "6.10" Jan 12, 2022

Sometimes we need to hear from the other side so Jessie and Claire are joined by special guest "6.10" to share his thoughts on meeting Claire, dating as a super tall man, and what it's like to be a fetish. The 2 giants and 1 petite lady come up with a great business plan for date security. Jessie also takes us into her head as she works out a weird date with someone that was an hour late. And it shockingly wasn't Claire.

The Dirty Whore Variant Jan 05, 2022

Jessie & Claire are chock-full of silly stories, fun updates, and breakthroughs after their winter break. From Jessie's life changing visit to London, Claire's titillating rendezvous, bowling with bumpers, dropping cash for love, and misinterpreting innocent texts, the ladies cover it all. They also revisit last year's resolutions (which they may or may not have stuck to) and set some new ones for the year ahead (which they may or may not stick to).

High on Life and Cocaine Dec 01, 2021

Jessie & Claire fulfilled some Thanksgiving wishes with the help of neighborhood bars, old friends, and high hookups. Jessie is back in action on the apps doing some research before her holiday travels. Claire finally got her dancing fix at an 80s night but felt in her 60s the days following. Big update! The ladies have decided to take the month of December off from the podcast so they can fill up their journals with overseas & overstate adventures. They'll be back in 2022 to fill you all in!

Time for a Matchmaker, Matchmaker Nov 24, 2021

Tis the season to grow! And we're not just talking about our waistlines. Jessie has re-evaluated her stance on not dating while working on personal growth. Spoiler: you can catch her on the apps now in new & improved profiles! Claire is officially dating men AND women after her first delightful lady date. The biggest takeaway was the easy process so Claire is currently raising funds and donating organs to employ a matchmaker for herself.

(end song "Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack))

Others Doing The Work Nov 17, 2021

In a much deserved break, the ladies took a back seat to the hard work this week. Jessie hits the town with a confident, hot friend who knows how to make a move while the jenga blocks fall. Claire was contacted by a matchmaker to go on her first official date with a woman. She's flying blind with no information beyond the time and place to meet. To which she's going to do her best to not be late.

Power Singles Nov 10, 2021

Celebrating Singles Day on 11.11, Jessie and Claire read through a suspicious list of 15 Things Only Single People Can Enjoy. The only thing they learned is the author needs to be checked on. While on the single subject, they chat about their own favorite parts of being single and parts they miss about couple hood. Claire just misses having an audience to laugh at her commentary. They've decided it's time to pay it forward by using their expert dating/relationship advice for any audience questions so send them in! Email to nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram @nosuchthingasloveshow

Lessons in Domme Nov 03, 2021

From MFM threesomes, to lessons in dominance, to excited lovers falling asleep while in the act, the ladies sure know how to make sex fun. Jessie gives an update from the new & improved Camp Jessie about removing *most* dating apps and wanting a holiday snog. Claire gained insight on her life priorities from a nosy Uber driver and wonders if she has the energy for a threesome with 2 large men anymore. Then Sex Educator Claire shares all the dirty deets she learned from a Dominance 101 class with Luna Matatas. Time to warm up your flogger.

All Treats, No Tricks Oct 27, 2021

Feeding off Jessie's new childlike enthusiasm for Halloween, the ladies chat about Halloween's past with hidden razor blades in candy and turtlenecks under ballerina costumes. Claire is proud of her successful match of a Hinge suitor with Jessie, telling 6'10" to get an STI test, and connecting with an on and off again app match. Jessie is back to requiring a video vetting call before dates and both ladies discuss how the fall air can bring on some holiday dread.

Swiping Left on God Oct 20, 2021

You may have left an organized religion but that doesn't mean you've gained admittance into Jessie or Claire's heart. The ladies chat about religion and dating after Jessie had an unorthodox date. Claire admits her bias when swiping but realizes it's her own issues with organized religion. The good news is she asked out a lady this week! Bad news, she was rejected. Turns out dating isn't easy no matter your preference.

(end song Losing My Religion by REM)

Lab Result Truths Oct 13, 2021

Jessie is at the height of her game and Claire is winding down for her final act. At least that's what she feels from the recent confirmation she's perimenopausal. The trickery is that she also has chlamydia so fun can be had at any age! Jessie reached a new level of euphoria with Mr Rain which unlocked the sex goddess witch within her. It's the season of witches after all.

Blue Boobing Oct 06, 2021

You may not recognize them but Jessie and Claire are now athletes who do not endorse blue boobing, catfishing, or willpower. But are split on the benefits of a small dose of jealousy. This week's listicle is 7 Things Men Do That Women Hate and spoiler alert: they're all true for every human.

What's In A Label Sep 29, 2021

Hot off Bi Visibility Week, Jessie and Claire dig into what they think about labels for sexual attraction and orientation. Is it too many? Does anyone really care about them? Or are they comforting for those who have felt excluded for so long? They also talk about the preconceived judgements of bi identifying men vs women. And Claire shares a label she's becoming more comfortable with. The comprehensive list of terms they discuss is in 46 Terms That Describe Sexual Attraction, Behavior, and Orientation.

Don't Worry Be Horny Sep 22, 2021

Need a trick to get the ladies to like you? Be generous with compliments for Claire's attention and drip hot fudge all over your body for Jessie's admiration. The highlight of Claire's week was a compliment of her vaginal region but then quickly followed by her lowlight: receiving a confusing message via meme. Jessie had high hopes for her 2nd date but her stomach had other plans. She was able to put in the make-out time and sang along to Don't Worry Be Happy before she knew for sure, he's not her person. Lastly, the ladies celebrate National Singles Week by talking through How Can Being Single Improve your Mental Health.

Bearded Lady Sep 15, 2021

The ladies are figuring out their type. Their type of fashion, their type of communication, and their type of attraction. Jessie tried to date outside her type and was only reassured of what she likes when seeing the wind blow through her non-type's hair. Claire can spot Jessie's type even when she's shopping for herself. She's reached out to a few bearded men on the apps about connecting with her best friend. No successful connections yet but she's changing how she approaches them now. The ladies break down the relationship issues within their new favorite show, 7 Year Switch. They solve of the marital issues seen because the ladies are clearly experts on marriages after all these years of being single.

Double 3s Sep 08, 2021

Its officially double digit season with Jessie celebrating 33 this week and Claire sitting pretty in 44. The ladies are also celebrating Sexual Health Month by encouraging everyone to get their undercarriages checked. Claire had multiple missed connections: one honest with his mental health, one that fully ghosted, and one who believes she's a bad texter with only him. We all know, he's not that special. Jessie found herself in an unexpected crime scene when her cycle was kickstarted from major fun in the boudoir. She also had a full daytime make-out in the park after showing up as her authentic self. The ladies found a new favorite show, 7 Year Switch. Catch up on season 2 and they'll dive into the juicy deets and opinions next week.

Skin Deep Sep 01, 2021

Is there more to life than a person's looks? Jessie really hopes so. She's actually reading guys' profiles now and broadening her height range. Maybe the key to happiness looks a little different than what she imagined. On the flipside, Claire hooked up with a guy only because he was hot. He unfortunately proved her theory that hot guys aren't good lovers. The ladies also talk about hairy vs balding men, the ultimate doc of app questions, and when dirty talk crosses the line into degrading talk.

(end song U Got The Look by Prince)

I Don't Miss You Aug 25, 2021

If you send an insincere "I miss you," you've terminated the relationship. At least that's how Jessie reacts to the hail mary. She also experienced a traumatic incident in the wild that included a goodbye kiss. In broad daylight. Claire visited an old Feelder that may not have fulfilled her physically but more than satisfied her ego. The ladies also review 5 Questions to Ask on a First Date (& 2 to Avoid) to prep Jessie for her date later that night.

Other Side of the Slump Aug 18, 2021

Tell tale signs of a slump? Eating poorly? Check. Spending copious amounts of money? Check. Fully disconnecting from your body while choosing to be with someone of no interest just so you aren't alone? Check. Jessie walks us through her recent dip and the poor decisions that followed. Claire went on a date that was 4 years in the making. Unfortunately her body issues crept in to negate any attraction she might have had for a man more slender than her.

Cuddle My Coffin Aug 11, 2021

You know it's a good week when everyone got cuddled. Desperate for a kind, comforting touch, Claire hired a professional cuddler. She broke down some barriers while nervously talking during the full hour. Jessie got some extra cuddling from a recent recurring character, Mr Rain. She had an extensive talk with her old self who kept asking for her to clarify the relationship. Turns out, her old self may just need a cuddle too.

We're Back! Aug 04, 2021

Inspired by their physical equal, Simone Biles, the ladies needed to take a mental health break last week. Thankfully they're back in action with stories about Claire feeling petite for the first and only time in her life, Jessie's lip swelling to the size of an angry army mere minutes before a date, and the ongoing effort to unlearn insecurity triggers.

Boss Daddies Jul 21, 2021

All Jessie & Claire ask is that you get to know them before you give them a nickname. Claire returns from her family beach trip burned and emotionally intact. Thank heavens because in an attempt to schedule a date, she was called by her prospect so he could talk at her about how her propensity for planning prevented him from being a man. Guess how long it took her to cancel? Jessie found an easy enough local guy when looking for a connection. She's figuring out her new boundaries and how to win over his roommate's dog. It's always the animals who can sniff out faulty character traits.

You Don't Bring Me Flowers Jul 14, 2021

Jessie & Claire have made the full circle of their sexual walkabouts and need a little more romancing. Or maybe they just want compliments. Jessie talks about the mental debate of how physical she should be on a first date with potential. Thankfully she had the rain to romantically set her Hallmark movie scene. Claire is healing her beach trip metaphorical and physical burns while reminiscing about her date with a 6'10" dad bod. While she felt up his bod, she felt fully disconnected to hers. It must have been the lack of flowers.

Lucky Ladies Jul 07, 2021

According to the article 8 Sure Signs You’re Good at Love by Karen Nimmo, Jessie and Claire should be FANTASTIC at love. So what’s the hold up this week? Jessie’s body called a time out and Claire is trying to be patient with how she’s fundamentally changed in the last year. BUT she’s at least back on Feeld & Hinge hoping to fundamentally satiate some physical needs.

Kinky Switch Jun 30, 2021

After a week of being on set with potential suitors, Jessie and Claire ponder the idea of meeting matches in the wild. Jessie talks about the pull she had for an unavailable man and Claire is flirting with a JLo impression. They dip their toes in the kink world and talk foot fetishes, switches, and being put into boxes.

(end song Kinky (ft. Ke$ha) by Kesha)

Internal and External Validation Jun 23, 2021

Everyone needs a little validation when they’re spinning around on this big ole marble. We should find it within but sometimes we seek it from others. And that is why Claire is feeling low on her worth & sexiness scale. And setting herself up for failure. Thankfully, Jessie is thriving and feeling herself again with a few Feelders. She even rocked the world of one man who said she “kissed like an angel.” We could all be so lucky.

It's Just Supposed To Be Fun Jun 16, 2021

The snowball started rolling, the onion layers started peeling, and Jessie’s ideas about love and dating started flipping. It’s hard to see our own repression and insecurities until that first domino falls. Jessie talks about her revelations prior to her beach trip and how that very trip caused her to slide back into some negative thoughts. Claire continues to suck at communicating but found some fun in making erotic furry art.

(end song Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper)

Boobha Jun 09, 2021

The ladies are taking Hot Girl Summer one more step and FREEING THE NIPPLE! Or at least wearing bras with less restrictions. Claire has been reflecting on her love language and wondering if she's setting herself up for disappointment. Jessie is soaking up the ocean air on her family vacation. They're also joined by an extra special guest, Jessie's sister Sandy. She jumps on the mic to talk about her own body confidence and her thoughts on Jessie's previous repression. There's nothing better than sisters.

A World Of Options and The Weight Of The World Jun 02, 2021

Jessie and Claire are back on their friendship seesaw. Jessie is feeling more free than ever before as she explores the empowerment of her feminine sexuality. Unfortunately you still have to deal with FBoys but they get a lot less annoying when you're just having fun. Claire is buried up to her eyes with the weight of the world and heavy with the fall from post trip & work highs. The good news is they have each other.

(end song Just the Two of Us (feat. Bill Withers) by Grover Washington, Jr.)

Stockholm Family May 26, 2021

Have you ever thought something was crazy but you didn't see a way out and then you become a different person and forget how horrible everything really was? Yeah, Claire too. Thankfully Jessie was with her on the trip home to confirm it was indeed all crazy. The ladies recap their big talkin' before honky tonkin' in Nashville, visits with new close friends, and most importantly the outside eye Jessie was about to bring to Claire's dysfunction.

(end song We Are Family by Sister Sledge)

Officially Hot Girl Summer May 19, 2021

The sexual revolution is upon us! Or maybe we've just been cooped up for a year, questioning life's purpose, and deprived of connections and touch. Either way it's officially HOT GIRL SUMMER! Jessie decides to take control of her sexual desires and go on her own walkabout joining Claire's favorite app, Feeld. The ladies chat about the empowerment of owning your sexuality and how exploring freely can only help us when we're in a relationship. They're also thriving on their food plans and are a little worried they're becoming too perfect for the podcast.

(end song Let's Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pepa)

All Hands on Deck May 12, 2021

Have no fear, masturbation month is here! Fresh out of another threesome, Claire puts on her sex educator hat to share some fun tidbits she learned in a seminar celebrating Masturbation May. All the excitement even got her back on Feeld. Jessie, on the other hand, had 2 video dates that made her say, "I'm done." Maybe it's because she wants to celebrate the month alone or maybe it's because she's on day 8 of a detox.

(end song I Touch Myself by Divinyls)

It's in your planets May 05, 2021

Don't blame them, their outlooks are written in the stars. Jessie weeded through some of the bad seeds by chatting with anti-vaxxer and someone who sends innuendos through memes. Claire had a call with her intuitive astrologer (Rachel Lang) who helped her validate some struggles and urged her to explore even more sexually. Which no one thought was even possible.

Oral Boundaries Apr 28, 2021

He fell as quickly as he rose. Jessie gives us the disappointing update on Mr Name and introduces us to Mr Turn-on aka Mr Boundary. The ladies discuss the attraction of holding firm to boundaries and how they can communicate theirs immediately. If not sooner. Claire attended an oral workshop and gives all the perfectly normal and deliciously fun details. The lesson for everyone is "Boundaries are not to be challenged. They are to be respected." And find you a candy licker.

(end song Candy Licker by Marvin Sease)

Challenge Accepted Apr 21, 2021

The one thing we've learned is that Jessie and Claire love a challenge and not only did they accept them but they nailed the challenges given to them this week. Jessie shared Forgotten Animals before her 2nd date and the world didn't implode. Claire made her bracket of exes and found the winner based on the positives. Which was a lot harder than her usual best of the worst outlook. They also want you to consider the evidence before going to trial. Whether you're talking to yourself midst spiral or the annoyingly hot attorney Claire has the pleasure of watching while on jury duty. No one objects to that.

Sharing is Caring (and Terrifying) Apr 14, 2021

In the afterglow of Claire's birthday, the ladies gab about throwing frisbees at cute guys, Gene Kelly's forearms, Mr Marketing's scheduling failures, and making their way downtown. Jessie shares how she fully lost her mind on her latest date and Claire loses her mind when arguing why large umbrellas should be banned on New York sidewalks. But the question remains...will Jessie share Forgotten Animals with her date?!!

(end song A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton)

The Big 100 with “Mike” and Meredith Golden Apr 07, 2021

How are Jessie and Claire STILL SINGLE after doing 100 episodes of this podcast?! It baffles the mind. But maybe listening to this anniversary episode, you'll gain a little insight. After reminiscing about some of their more memorable episodes, the ladies chat with the star of the original double blind date, Mike. He exposes the truth of what it's like to date Claire. Much to her chagrin. Then they welcome back fan favorite, Meredith Golden, dating expert extraordinaire and creator of the new app, Darma. Where will the ladies be in another 100 episodes? Jessie thinks we'll be reporting live from one of our weddings. Which Claire will obviously be late for.

(end song 100 Days, 100 Nights by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings)

Going To Clubs Mar 31, 2021

The perfect age? Too old for clubs but wise enough to know Cadbury Mini Eggs are the superior candy. Jessie reports back after a 4 hour date and how it felt to bring the girls out for some fresh air. Claire is feeling healthier and a little emotionally horny so it may be time to get back on Hinge. They've also decided any park worth its salt is where you'll find them on the prowl this spring. Or where they'll sit isolated and talk about the cute guys in the distance.

WANTED: Hot Creative Directors Mar 24, 2021

Sure she was 30 minutes late but Claire made it for her threesome! She shares all the glo up details of her tawdry night with sober snacks. Jessie cured a tough week with multiple bad dates and apparently one didn't really want to hear what she honestly thought of his story. They also talk about their new show idea, No Such Thing As Medicine, shivering men, Matilda quotes, and reigniting that fire inside. Or maybe they just need to soak up some vitamin D now that it's SPRING!

Verified Avoidant Mar 17, 2021

With Jessie's bible (Attached) in hand, she confirms that Claire is a full on "Avoidant." But no one is shocked and Claire will cancel plans with you if you think she isn't. Jessie is fresh off a date and shares the down and dirty and freezing toes. Claire pretends to date a Taskrabbiter in classic Avoidant style. They both talk about comfortable boundaries when scheduling a first date and the leading questions to ask when checking if their mind is in the gutter...with you.

Spring Has Sprung and So Have We Mar 10, 2021

Spring is around the corner, vaccines are being shot into arms, and Jessie almost lived out a romantic plumber porn scenario. What a wonderful time to be alive! Jessie has discovered a new dating rule while kicking back into dating high gear. And it involves travel. Or lack thereof. Claire is back on Feeld and has a threesome scheduled. Because all hot sexual encounters are best when scheduled. The ladies also found another show to hate and get excited about the hot plumber who interrupts their recording. Things are springing and sprunging!

Does That Make Sense? Mar 03, 2021

The ladies laugh together about the hilarious and FUN meltdown that happened over the weekend. The long and the short of it was Jessie said, "here's a helpful gift!" and Claire said, "I DON'T NEED HELP. I'M NOT AN IDIOT. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE." The good news is the love runs deep and Claire's closet is fully organized. The ladies also tell the hilarious story of Jessie becoming a statue when called Mickey.

I Care A Lot To Ruin You Feb 24, 2021

The ladies are sorting and purging and breaking down the finest tv available. Claire talks about what triggered her in the closet clean-out, Jessie shares her discoveries when reviewing "difficult" women under a new lens, and they realize they'd be the only ones showing up for each other on a Bachelor "hometown." Join their new Facebook group, No Such Thing As Love Podcast Friends, to connect with other fans!

Purging Memories Feb 17, 2021

It's time to spring clean and get rid of those old memory clothes. Jessie and Claire recap their closet purging weekend which included a full list of every date outfit Jessie has ever worn. They both commit to be more selective in their hookups and dates but that's only after a disappointing date on Valentine's. Or maybe it was the panic attack at the Salvation Army.

Just The Tip Feb 10, 2021

Happy Singles Awareness Week! Jessie and Claire have a tip to make your Valentine's Day one of the best...watch their LIVE SHOW on Valentine's night at 7:30pm EST. (nosuchthingaslovevdayshow.eventbrite.com) On this week's episode, the ladies share all their updates on the zoom date, creating friend's profiles, catfishing with kids, and when grandma returns to town. Then they dive into Claire's favorite subject, sex education (much to Jessie's dismay) and share tips on the anatomy and the fun that can be had with the male member. Always remember lube is your friend.

Live Zoom Date Feb 03, 2021

Jessie and Claire won't let a little pandemic stand in the way of on-air awkward dating! Jessie takes the plunge this week inviting a recent Hinge match to have a meet cute on zoom. There are games, giggles, pregnant pauses, and a looming voice of a friendly waiter. The ladies then get into how social media is handled in dating. Do you google before a date? Do you instastalk? Do you go deep and dark into their middle school blog? The only thing they know for sure is that you can be found.

Impressive Pelvic Floor Jan 27, 2021

While Jessie counts down the days to finding herself again, Claire jumps in pelvis first to educating herself on all things sex. The ladies also talk about their latest hobby of shopping together over zoom, redoing their apartments, bruised breasts, yoni eggs, and making sure everyone sees them when walking in a room. You better believe they're doing the most important exercise as you read this. It starts with a K and ends with an egel.

Kissy Kissy Jan 20, 2021

How old is too old for a hickey? Don't ask Claire's age because she has a red blotchy souvenir from her latest walkabout stop. Thankfully, she spills all the tea from her the low chemistry, bruise inducing escapade. Then Jessie talks through the needed but inevitably disappointing text she sent to Mr Bagel. The ladies also discuss cuddling, childhood games in the bedroom, vomit in a shoe, and how they celebrated National Fetish Day by attending a seminar with Babeland. The most important lesson is there are many flavors of ice cream and you should feel free to try any flavor you want!

For Our Health Jan 13, 2021

Jessie and Claire are really focused on their health and that's why they're having sex with strangers and considering smoking cigarettes. This week, the ladies talk about butt stuff, a slip of the finger, and wiping. Also, their latest FaceTime dates, seeing ghosts, the hottie Bachelor, bunnies, and their new favorite holiday that's right around the corner, National Nothing Day.

We Are Fashion Jan 06, 2021

After a binge watch of Stylish with Jenna Lyons, the ladies are rebirthed like phoenix rising from the athleisure ashes. They are now fashion. And with their new prestige, they're ready to get back on the apps. Jessie leaves Mr Bagel behind as she bounces back with Bumble. Claire wades through Feeld for her next escapade after revisiting an old flame. They laugh about their flirting differences and long for the next time they can pretend they're going to go up to a guy in a bar.

Hacky Sackin' New Year Dec 30, 2020

That's a wrap on 2020 and maybe a wrap on Mr Bagel? Jessie shares the latest in her relationship status and Claire unwraps the heavy emotional discoveries she had while visiting the Covid capital, Tennessee. Jessie questions Claire's athletic ability and Claire warns Jessie to not put too many expectations on the coming year. They both share a few resolutions for 2021 and decide it's going to be a very good, not great, year. Setting some real expectations.

Naughty and Nice Dec 23, 2020

Reporting from the Hurt Hole, Jessie gives us as update after she was flying high with optimism last week. Claire's delicate constitution required she take a quick break from her walkabout. Then the ladies decide who and what from the year deserves lumps of coal or bunches of candy canes in their cool new clogs. Can you guess who gets the coal out of Taylor Swift, reality TV, and sexting? Listen to find out.

New Attitudes Dec 16, 2020

Occasionally we have to spiral to the bottom to see a new perspective and that's exactly what Jessie needed to do. Jessie and Claire talk about her effort to understand both sides of a situation and switching from dating mode to relationship mode. Claire shares an update on the first pitstop in her sexual walkabout. It felt like a time warp during their conversation and not because it flowed easily. Sometimes you have to put in the work for a semi-ok time.

Sexual Walkabout Dec 09, 2020

Pack up your trail mix, water bottle, & condoms; it's time for a sexual walkabout! Claire decided she can't handle the emotional labor of dating right now but she does have some homework to do in the bedroom. The ladies get down and dirty about their intimate history and emotional detachment from doing the deed. Jessie is also figuring out how to manage disappointment while appreciating the growth it forces. And they wonder if a lot of their intimacy issues were caused from both of their mothers whisper spelling S.E.X. in their formative years.

Ready for Our Meet Cute with writer Lana Schwartz Dec 02, 2020

Tis the season for meet cutes, grand gestures, and unrealistic expectations. The ladies are joined by Build Your Own Romantic Comedy author, Lana Schwartz to dish all about the genre we love and love to hate. But first, Jessie and Claire chat about being an angry host, dressing for yourself, and popping delusional dreams. Claire is also positive she has toxoplasmosis so she can't be held responsible for her poor decisions.

Temperature Change Nov 25, 2020

Tis the season to be thankful. But before that, Jessie & Claire chat sweater collections, exes returning, being left behind, Mr Bagel’s prophecy text, and then 3 things they’re thankful for.

Time and a Half Nov 18, 2020

It may be a shock to know but other people's behavior is not a direct attack on you. We told you it was shocking! Even knowing that, it's hard to calm our triggers. Jessie and Claire discuss their triggers while figuring out communication styles, rewiring everyone's brains about period sex, trips down memory lane, borrowing pens, and relishing the sexy pick up.

Pick A Spiral Any Spiral Nov 11, 2020

Neither Jessie nor Claire like amusement parks so last week's rollercoaster exhausted them. Thankfully they had plenty of emotions to keep them busy. Claire gives an update on her new flirtation and turned up the volume on her old broken record. Jessie tossed in a few spirals last week to keep things fun with her new guy. They chat about meeting the parents, spare toothbrushes, and making a little effort to show you care.

What's Hope Got To With It Nov 04, 2020

On the precipice of the election and distant from a euphoric weekend, Jessie and Claire have been feeling a little uncertain and out of sorts lately. But that doesn't stop them from talking about the most important subject, them. They look at past behaviors that can hurt their future relationships, dissect communication styles that cause spirals, and talk about how "disappointment is the penalty for hope but planning on failing isn't a better options."

Making Bagels Oct 28, 2020

Nothing like a little gluten and dairy to get you in the mood. Jessie shares all the juicy details of her recent weekend rendezvous with T-shirt. There was a marble sculpture, a Ghost pottery moment, and actual arm in arm strolling in public. Claire continues to have communication issues but immediately falls for a guy who likes Bell Biv Devoe. Pop culture nostalgia is Claire's kryptonite. Both of the ladies remind you to VOTE! Check Vote411.org for voting information in your area.

Swathing Time Oct 21, 2020

There’s some pep in the ladies’ steps this week. Claire talks about her mingling adventure IRL with tall guys. Jessie gives a breakdown of her very slow paced yet too cute to handle dating. They also chat about the excitement you feel when a connection is made with pop culture common knowledge. And then question how they remain friends since the only pop culture cross over they have is SATC and Friends.

Gift with Purchase Oct 14, 2020

Watch out guys, Claire is back on the apps! But she may get overwhelmed and tired so have patience. Meanwhile, Jessie is going tshirt shopping and returning to her long time love, diners, with her “long distant” guy. Between medical grade ventilation and giggly park hangs, they know they’re going to have fun.

Bobbing for Boyfriends Oct 07, 2020

That crisp fall air gets Jessie and Claire in the mood. If the leaves are falling, so are they. Jessie’s latest date made her question her gut, Claire was finally able to hold court again, and they both don’t think you should bike to a date. You stink. They also revisit the old tradition of bobbing for apples where the apples represented crushes and the drowned rat look represented your dignity.

What's Age Sep 30, 2020

Jessie and Claire catch up after vacation and discuss walruses eating popsicles, surprise attractions, how tv killed the motivator, backwards hats, and blaming Seinfeld for poor dating. The ladies remind you to confirm your voting plan and check your local ballot!

Calves & Boobs Forever Sep 16, 2020

Remember when flirting meant trying to make someone jealous by telling endless stories about other people liking you? It clearly was very successful. So thankfully Jessie’s most recent date used this #throwbackflirtation. Claire had a second date with her professional which sparks a conversation about boobs and dressing their bodies. Claire has also discovered a new diagnosis: Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. Now that her behavior has a name, she accepts her syndrome and asks that you respect her privacy in this time.

Will Talk For Touch Sep 09, 2020

It’s Jessie’s birthday! The ladies reminisce about old birthday traditions (Who is going to carry me?!) before jumping in to chat about Jessie’s recent chatty dates and Claire’s latest paid professional who gently touched her. Sometimes it’s just easier to throw money at a problem. No judgement. We all have to get it where we can.

Famously Makes Mistakes Sep 02, 2020

Jessie is redoing her 20s by driving to a date for the first time. Claire remembers a troubling BJ shot taken with a friend's mom. They both feel seen in an article by Tara Blair Bell, 6 Mistakes Single Women That Want a Relationship Make.

Look At This Photograph Aug 26, 2020

Do you ask an online match their last name? Do you google your date before you meet? Do you also not trust anyone without a sweet tooth? After diving into this week's dates, Jessie and Claire celebrate their love and distaste for photos and explore self talk and body dysmorphia. With all the uncertainties these days, they decide to just focus on winning one day at a time.

Vibe Check Aug 19, 2020

Heroes don't always wear capes. Nor do they live up to their name for long. Jessie and Claire talk about the latest with Jessie's good date, being discovered while covered in your own feces, when you get rejected from a make out, their hot takes on a listener's question, and trick to being the life of every college party. Two words: keg stand.

Sugar Packets and Cellulite Aug 12, 2020

Jessie and Claire got vulnerable this week. One emotionally and one physically. They chat about making out in cars, parents driving you to a date, wearing thongs, and losing an FWB.

Failing at Phone Sex Aug 05, 2020

They may play parts in their profession but role playing in the bedroom is a different story. Jessie and Claire talk about a recent failed phone sex attempt, making eyes and snap judgements, erotic beard pics, Indian Matchmaker, and euthanized monkeys. If you have any questions (or compliments to give), please reach out on instagram (@nosuchthingasloveshow) or nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com.

I Don't Know Jul 29, 2020

With Jessie back home and Claire’s family wanting her to move home, the ladies reflect on things they’ve learned, discuss what brings them joy these days, and of course, gab about the guy who recently ghosted. They sign off with a love letter to New York. While she’s tough as nails, she’s got the warmest hug of them all.

Cancel or Show the F Up Jul 22, 2020

The ladies are back together again! During a quick trip back to the city, Jessie heads over to Claire's to chat about their recent escapades, a magic cardigan, flattery from old crushes, New York energy, hard pen15, deciding if you're a hockey goalie or a Walmart greeter, and being faced with how much alone time they're able to handle.

Smack Dab in the Mirror Jul 15, 2020

Jessie went on a masked date. Claire falls even harder for a man on her TV. They both talk about the assumptions and judgement we make when meeting people which can be very dangerous. Then they answer a listener's email about a concern over personal challenges and how they play into a new relationship.

Not the Chillest of Years with Vanessa Hardy Jul 08, 2020

What a year it is. Astrologer Vanessa Hardy is back to talk about the year that's been and will continue to be. Jessie and Claire find some reassurance in what this time means for them but understand the rollercoaster isn't over. Before they look to the stars, the ladies talk about new online matches and their new favorite reality show, Labor of Love.

Embracing Farts Jul 01, 2020

Jessie and Claire's dating styles have reached extremes. From sexting with strangers to letting dust collect on viable matches. They also chat about relationship milestones like the first nighttime routine in front of them or the first time you shove a 12 inch sub down the hatch. Bottom line, Jessie and Claire are looking for someone who will celebrate their farts.

Dats Me! Jun 24, 2020

Jessie's busy swiping through the local inventory now that she's home and has found a few text buddies who are unapologetically themselves. Claire is learning to flirt with her mask on while feeling flirty and fun in the City. They also talk about getting svelte since they just applied for Love is Blind!

69ing The Musical Jun 17, 2020

What happens when you want a friend to go on walks with and they turn into a sexter? You talk about it on your podcast. Jessie and Claire share their updates with exes & new interests, get into a heated discussion about the most annoying position, and beg a man named Matt, the lead in their COVID musical.

Tinder Therapy Jun 10, 2020

In a time of restlessness and instability, we look for joy in low stakes affairs. Enter Tinder. What no one saw coming was an ex resurfacing. Jessie and Claire breakdown the relationship that was and what could be after a stroll around the neighborhood.

Virtual Speed Dating Jun 03, 2020

After literally running out of a live speed dating event last fall, Jessie & Claire decide to try one virtually. The ladies swap stories about their dates with the same 9 guys.

Is it Love or Allergies PART 3 May 28, 2020

Dating is a rollercoaster and Jessie and Claire are here to share every high, low, and confusing twists. After a Magical COVID Night and sobering revelations, a love letter appeared in an email. Strap in and listen as they read it aloud and respond in real time. But remember to keep your arms inside at all times.

Is it Love or Allergies PART 2 May 27, 2020

Some magical nights need an update after the romance has settled. Since a few days had passed and sentiments had shifted, Jessie and Claire jump back on the mics to let you know the latest.

Is it Love or Allergies PART 1 May 27, 2020

It was a Magical COVID Night. Both Jessie and Claire had dates. One FaceTiming and one strolling. Did they find love? Does one of them use “like?” Or did one of them attend a TED Talk disguised as a date?

Master Dater and Wine Lover May 20, 2020

Jessie has become a Master Dater with her third virtual date but this one had an added in-person element! She shares all the juicy details and the ladies talk about dating in this new world. Claire also finds out the harsh truth that her FaceTime is WAY too close.

The Thing about Them May 13, 2020

This week we learn some hard and fast things about Jessie and Claire. Not a fan of change, taking it one day at a time, and loving maps are just a few. They also answer a few questions from the 36 Questions that Lead to Love because if there’s any hope to love a little more, they’ll take it.

Finding Hope in a Success with Myra Withers Pitts May 06, 2020

Jessie & Claire share their updates from a toxic ex and a shower crush as well as their recommendations for some good TV sex scenes if you’re in the mood. Then the ladies are joined by friend Myra Withers Pitts who tells the heartening tale of meeting her “cat daddy” husband. They texted for a full year before even meeting! Her story inspired the ladies to keep messaging on the apps even though they can’t meet in person any time soon. They’ll at least have the TV sex scenes to return to after a good long distant conversation.

Understanding Love at First Sight Apr 29, 2020

Jessie and Claire have been taking love classes and they’re here to drop some knowledge. Their classroom? The Lifetime TV show, Married at First Sight. They discuss some of the behaviors and communication styles they identify with and are terribly confused by. People keeping score in fights, crying wolf with compliments, sexual immaturity, daddy daughter issues, and couple with a 17 inch height difference. Claire is livid.

Is That Optimism I Smell? Apr 22, 2020

Jessie is hot off a FaceTime date and Claire’s is on Hinge. The ladies are back! Jessie shares her suspicions in everything, Claire shares her discoveries about isolation, and they answer a listener’s question about the craziness of being in quarantine with an annoying boyfriend. The ladies love to answer questions so send them in on Instagram or nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com.

Love in Cinematic Form Apr 15, 2020

Logging week 80 of quarantine, the ladies talk about Claire’s birthday, memories of going out, getting in fighting shape, walking into glass doors, and the most important part of a pandemic, what they’re watching.

Coming to Terms with Being Gorgeous Apr 09, 2020

Jessie and Claire swap quarantine stories about a FaceTime date, quickie cuffs, braless late night escapes, and weeping all the way down the zipline.

Remember Having Sex in the City? Apr 01, 2020

Hypothetically speaking, Jessie and Claire know all the answers to love’s questions. And they prove it on this week’s quarantine episode where they look back on some of Carrie’s greatest questions from Sex and the City. Along the way, they tell some old stories about cheating, dates with sugar daddies, and coming to terms with superficiality. All while looking like filth but thankfully for them this is not a visual medium. *thanks for sticking with us while we get this remote audio sorted out!

Redos & Lost Loves Mar 25, 2020

Jessie and Claire hunker down for another week in quarantine and revisit some old dates they’d like to redo and think about the guys that got away. While they’re waiting to make new memories, nothing beats reminiscing about eager oral, insane love letters, and when guys told you they liked you.

*Apologies but there’s some fuzz from 15-27min in! Quarantine problems!

The Quarantine We Mar 18, 2020

Jessie and Claire risked their anxiety & ‘Rona fears to hang together and chat about how they’re feeling. They discussed what it means to date now, wanting to be a “we,” video speed dating, and the hottest commodity around, TOILET PAPER! Stay safe and wash those hands!

Demanding Certainty with Jules Mahon Mar 11, 2020

Jessie and Claire are joined by one of their best gal pals, Jules Mahon, to gab all about her exciting dating life and new relationship. They talk about protecting yourself, reprogramming assumptions, delusional love, Attached, and how much her mom loved their show. They don’t know much but they do know flattery always wins.

Beyonce Retrograde with astrologer Vanessa Hardy Mar 04, 2020

Mercury Retrograde has Jessie & Claire all sorts of exhausted so they called in for help from astrologer extraordinaire, Vanessa Hardy. They chat about what role astrology plays in dating, how retrogrades can be a catch-all for problems, and what’s in store for the ladies. Get ready for a hot mess summer!

Tense or Release and Live from Carolines Feb 26, 2020

After the success of Jessie’s blind date on the live show, she gives an update about what happened next. The ladies also talk about another date that wasn’t as successful and listening to their bodies when they’re telling you maybe it isn’t a great fit. Stay tuned for the blind date from their live show at Carolines to hear what all the hubbub is about.

Panic Room Double Blind Date Feb 19, 2020

It’s time for another live double blind date but the ladies raised the stakes. This one is in a panic room. Will the high stress & claustrophobia make the love sparked fly or create a terrified memory. Listen from pre to post date with no interruptions as Jessie & Claire chat with John & Sean about first crushes, pet peeves, turn ons, & fighting styles. Can you feel if sparks were flying? Or is the terror of the panic room?

Debunking The App with Matt Cutler, Head of Customer Experience at Hinge Feb 12, 2020

The ladies have become avid users of Hinge so they were absolutely elated when they got a chance to sit down with the Head of Customer Experience at Hinge, Matt Cutler. They chat about all the ins & outs of online dating but also the human element of dating. The ladies start off with some recent date stories including Jessie responding to touch like an aunt.

Lip Lickers and Nice Guys Feb 05, 2020

Would you rather go on a date with a nice guy from Jersey or a lip licker drug lord? Well Jessie and Claire went on dates with these guys and live to tell the tales. They both show growth in their dating lives as Jessie initiated touch and Claire refused to go to Brooklyn. Join them Tuesday, Feb 11th at Carolines on Broadway in NYC at 7:30pm. $10 tickets when you use the code “love.”

Communicating Through Boundaries with Margaret Doherty, LMFT Jan 29, 2020

The ladies continue to honor their dating intentions with Claire setting up a date near her home and Jessie staying true to her authentic self. They’re also joined by marriage and family therapist, Margaret Doherty to discuss the #1 complication is relationships: communication. With finances as a close second. They also chat about freezing eggs, the Gottman Method, adjusting walls, and their love of ketchup. They also get some therapy for their own communication issues because we can all use some help.

No Episode Episode Jan 22, 2020

Jessie & Claire got caught up in some fun projects but didn’t want to miss giving everyone an update! Fresh off a weekend of shooting Jessie’s new pilot (Forgotten Animals), they share the VERY exciting news they have a live show scheduled. Mark your calendars! Tuesday, Feb 11th at 7:30pm at the iconic Carolines on Broadway in NYC! They can't wait to see each & every one of you in person!

Intentions and Opinions with Keith Malley Jan 15, 2020

The ladies set some new dating intentions. Claire is going on more coffee dates near her home and Jessie is going to have fun & thrive when she feels safe. They’re later joined by Keith Malley (Keith and The Girl). Keith has figured out love but has some opinions on their profiles and dating ways. They all laugh about dating yawners, taking a break from sex to work out a leg cramp, the low bar for guys to be decent, and Keith’s current catfish saga with his dad.

Pussy Power with Cara Kovacs Jan 08, 2020

What a year it’s already been! Jessie and Claire revisit their great New Years Eve and Jessie talks about a second date with an unlikely suitor. Spoiler, it didn’t go great. They're later joined by sex coach, Cara Kovacs who breaks down pussy power, sexual numbness, worthiness & safety, attachment styles, and how weird it can be to date in her profession. The ladies join Cara's vow to end ghosting culture and urge everyone to follow. And to turn up Lizzo.

What A Year It's Been Jan 01, 2020

Raise a glass and have some laughs as Jessie and Claire reminisce on the last year of bad dates and life lessons. They talk about being catfished, turned off by an aggressive heckler, reminded of how bad the bad guy was, and taught sex is over when he finishes. The ladies set resolutions for themselves and each other and decide to switch up their sign off. Jessie & Claire are optimistic about the year ahead but know they’ll still have plenty of missteps to bring the laughs.

Dating Debacles and Smitten Kittens with Leah and Stefan Dec 25, 2019

Jessie and Claire wish you a happy holiday by sharing their friend’s, Leah & Stefan, nearly unbelievable love story. But first they share their own updates which are far more believable. Jessie went on a date with a wet tongue and Claire hooked up with a playful ex. Then we hear the cutest darn meet cute that almost didn’t happen 5 different times. May their tales bring smiles to your faces and warmth to your hearts!

Getting Raw with Jessie and Claire Dec 18, 2019

Tis the season to strip off the pretense and speak our truths. This week, the ladies discuss their bodies’ self defense against bad boys, to wear or not to wear a condom, flirty math teachers, and negging a Bud Light order. Then the ladies get into it when Claire triggers Jessie and we all fall into the emotional spiral together. This episode gets real and gets raw. (UPDATE: the show they couldn’t remember was “Shrill” where they mention women over 176 lbs may need to take 2 Plan Bs)

I think for me...with Shani Silver Dec 11, 2019

Jessie And Claire start off with some updates on their recent escapades. Claire was awkwardly carried during a makeout and Jessie heard all about prostitution on her last date. They’re then joined by the always hilarious and insightful Shani Silver (writer, podcaster) to discuss her glittery epiphany that being single is an actual gift. They chat about old men in bars, how we’re not always doing something wrong, and the parallel universe where guys sit around and talk about dining alone. They also shout out Jessie’s series on JFL, It’s a Date, which is a must watch!

Positive Profiles with Meredith Golden Dec 04, 2019

Get out your notepads because Jessie and Claire are getting all the tips from famed dating app ghostwriter, Meredith Golden (SpoonMeetSpoon.com). They chat about gentle nudges, profile energies, and focusing on what you bring to the table. The ladies also dissect their latest bad dates and want to send out another reminder that if you kiss them right, all their inhibitions are out the window.

Calling BS on Bad Communication Nov 27, 2019

Jessie & Claire have been on some dates (yes! plural!) and are ready to dish. Jessie’s date was confident and successful yet couldn’t seal the deal with the weak landing. Claire had the most honest discussion about her life goals on a second date which led to the bedroom pretty quick. What else do you do after realizing you don’t want the same thing? Makeout! The ladies then get into a discussion about communication. When do you call BS and when do you acknowledge people just have different styles?

As Best We Can with Pops and Julie Nov 20, 2019

The ladies are joined by Claire’s dad & stepmother (aka Pops & Julie) to share their love story. Finding love after death isn’t easy but they found it with each other and have beautiful insight and inspiration for us all. Despite their podcast title being “a little off putting,” they have high hopes for Jessie and Claire in their search for men who celebrate their humor.

Worth The Commute with Michelle Collins Nov 13, 2019

Jessie & Claire can’t stop laughing with the quickest, funniest darn comedians around and friend, Michelle Collins (@michcoll). They chat about dating while tall, the desire to be smothered by Ben Affleck, long toes, licking dirty beards, and the delights of Donkey. But first, the ladies give their latest updates of a frightening date and witnessing love on the MTA.

It’s A Two Date Game Nov 06, 2019

Jessie went on a date where she learned things. She learned about a Player’s tell. Her biggest take away is, “They open up emotionally so we’ll open up physically.” Claire called out a man for not wearing his wedding ring and tested her new way of finding out if someone is single.

Man Tells All with Chris Cafero Oct 30, 2019

Jessie and Claire welcome Hinge’s #1 Bachelor and actor/comedian/friend, Chris Cafero (@ccafero), into the booth to talk about all things dating. They peel back the curtains to share the male & female views on the different apps, making plans, signs of a great date, walking out on a date, and dating like our justice system: innocent until proven guilty. But first the ladies chat about being a single wedding guest and when you decide to stop pulling up your strapless bra.

Verbally Cuddling with the Cuddlist, Adam Lippin Oct 23, 2019

Jessie and Claire learn all about professional cuddle therapy from Cuddlist Co-Founder & CEO, Adam Lippin. After realizing they both suffer from touch deprivation and skin hunger, it becomes evident they desperately need sessions with a cuddlist to help with their boundary and intimacy issues. But before they jump in with Adam, Jessie talks about her recent call with an astrologer and Claire breaks down her plan of action after a home invasion murder suicide. Everyone will need a cuddle after hearing their updates.

Also check out Adam’s new app, HearMe.app, for an empathetic listener to talk to because we could all use a kind ear.

Not Kissing But Still Telling Oct 16, 2019

Jessie got back on the wagon with a hot new date and Claire spills the tea after a few dates with her previously blind date. The ladies answer the question: if you don’t want to high five, shake hands, or hug, how do you end a date? Salute!

Hanging with the Ladies Oct 09, 2019

Jessie & Claire gab about dyslexia & sexting, coupled friends forcing singles together, letting fear pick the music, pausing time, junior high trends, Charlie’s hot bod, and SHOWING UP.

Rubbing Out the Stigma of Sex Work with Kaytlin Bailey Oct 02, 2019

Jessie and Claire have been talking about speed dating for a while and they FINALLY went. You’ll never guess what happened. After you get over the shock, keep listening for one of the most informative, fascinating, and enlightening conversations with Kaytlin Bailey (@KaytlinBailey) from Decriminalize Sex Work (dswork.org). Listen and learn. Let's keep this conversation going so we’re all educated on the subject.

Live Double Blind Date Sep 25, 2019

It’s always better to do it with a friend. That’s why Jessie and Claire decided to go on blind dates together! Listen in as the ladies are joined by Claire’s match on Hinge, Mike, and his friend, David as they answer ice breaker questions and then actually ask follow-up questions, much to Claire’s delight. The ladies also bare all and hand over their phones to their dates before playing the compliment round. Do either of these couples find a spark between them? You’ll just have to listen to find out.

Rollercoaster of Emotions Sep 18, 2019

Jessie and Claire dive deep into some big fears. Claire reads a goodbye message she sent her toxic ex. Jessie wonders if she even has a matching puzzle piece out there. They also cover manners, death, weddings, family, and sexual worth. There are tears and laughter held together by a one great friendship.

Birthdays and Reappearing Ghosts with Alyssa Amoroso (Publyssity) Sep 11, 2019

Jessie’s birthday is nearing and she’s freaking out. She and Claire chat about what birthdays mean for them and wonder if the definition of love is when you order a tub of ice cream and your partner still finds you cute. Then Alyssa Amoroso (@Publyssity) joins them to talk about everything from foot fetishes, exposing your feelings, guys who come on too strong too fast, and their 3 month challenge. Join their challenge and share your stories at nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com!

Belly Buttons and Makeouts Sep 04, 2019

Jessie and Claire both had dates that made them start to wonder, if it isn’t horrible, is it good? The answer is no. But they’re trying and are even willing to suffer through a bad makeout just to make sure they’re not giving up too soon. They’re doing it all for you, the listener. So you’re welcome. They also chat about the different dating apps and the 2 levels of cute: cute enough to swipe right and cute enough to respond to them.

Optimistic Breakups with Lindsay Meck Aug 28, 2019

Jessie & Claire rarely have second dates but after their conversation with this week’s guest, Lindsay Meck (Onward: A post-breakup concierge service), they’re excited for a relationship so they can have their inevitable breakups! Jessie also updates us on what happened with her blind date from the show and Claire struggles to remember the last time she felt butterflies.

Claire’s Live Blind Date Aug 21, 2019

It’s Claire’s turn to be in the hot seat with a live blind date. But before her date arrived, Jessie and Claire had a chance to talk about their “ass”ets, Claire’s last good date, and what level of men fighting turn them on. Then things get awkward when the actual date begins. Did he ask any questions? Did Claire take off her host pillbox hat? And did they survive the compliment round? Listen to find out!

Cleaning Pipes Aug 14, 2019

Jessie was “kittenfished” and Claire just needs her pipes cleaned. This week, they break down Jessie’s recent date, the possibility of F buddies, missed connections, and the desire for a conversationalist. Which is your favorite opening line? A) Would you tell me if I had food in my teeth? B) M&Ms or Skittles?

Concussed with Chanel Omari Aug 07, 2019

Jessie and Claire share an update from past guest Brittanie Sheree and the outcome of her on air text. They then dive in head first with Chanel Omari (Chanel in the City, Princesses: Long Island) gabbing about the stress of dating after reality tv, self love, and the concussion that rocked Page 6. Chanel promises to post a reenactment if we get 100,000 downloads so SPREAD THE WORD!

Jessie's Live Blind Date Jul 31, 2019

Be a fly on the wall as Jessie goes on a blind date LIVE in the studio! Have you ever noticed a couple clearly on their first date and wondered what they were saying? Now's your chance to know!! Claire set up the date but left Jessie and her date, Jeremiah, in the booth to get to know each other. It’s scary, it’s fun, it’s awkward, it’s everything you hope a date will be!

Cornucopia of Topics Jul 24, 2019

Jessie and Claire dig in an assortment of their favorite topics: phone sex, boyfriend fetishes, infiltrating guy groups, brave behaviors, crippling fears, the beauty and difficulty of their friendship, and how Jessie is going to start picturing guys as older women.

Time Takes Time with Chemda Jul 17, 2019

Chemda (Keith and The Girl) has been on a journey and Jessie and Claire are fascinated and inspired by every single step. They chat about working with your partner, gaslighting, al-anon, celibacy, self love, needing sexy business transactions, and fans who couldn’t tattoo all of Chemda’s hair because it hurt too much. Pack some snacks and join them for the ride.

The Study Shows with Marisa T Cohen Jul 10, 2019

It’s time to break down "love" into research and data. Doesn’t that make you hot?! But first, Jessie and Claire give updates that are worth celebrating. Apparently it takes Claire nearly 3 years to release herself from a bad news guy. Later, they’re joined by psychology professor and relationship scientist, Marisa T Cohen to chat about first date behaviors, kitten fishing, physiological arousal, and the male laissez faire attitude when it comes to dating. Listen to find out why Jessie & Claire are going to start hanging out on tall bridges.

Fear is Fear is Fear with Brittanie Sheree Jul 03, 2019

Jessie and Claire take a break from their disastrous dating lives to help their friend, comedian Brittanie Sheree (@brittisfunny) with her latest crush. Because those who can’t do, teach. And by now they’ve definitely earned some sort of honorary degree. After breaking down all the signs of Brittanie’s date, they construct the perfect cool, let’s hang text and prep for all the possible responses. It takes a village.

What's a spark, anyway? Jun 26, 2019

Jessie and Claire dive deep this week with complaints about clingy relationships, the meaning of face sitting, shame spiraling, and some good ole fashioned anal chit-chat. Jessie returns to the scene of the crime and feels a special connection with her waiter. Claire reminisces about a “bull” she once dated that she nearly suffocated. They realize at the end of the day, neither of them understand the meaning of a “spark.”

Bless and Release, Lily Womble of Date Brazen Jun 19, 2019

Jessie and Claire take a stroll down memory lane and chat about their childhood crushes. But while they were hopelessly in love, they also became master deflectors of any boys that had crushes on them. They dive deeper into their troubled dating lives with Lily Womble, of Date Brazen. Claire realizes she’s not any less of a woman if she wants a relationship and Jessie figures out what she needs to know before she goes on a date.

High Fashion and Long Naps, guest Hannah Berner Jun 12, 2019

From pajamas to tailored suits with matching glasses, Jessie and Claire’s dates have worn them all. This week they chat about recent escapades where Jessie realized she may be on a date with a man who has elephantiasis and Claire’s body had an involuntary audible reaction when her date “leaned up” to kiss her. The hilarious & insightful Hannah Berner (Bravo’s Summer House, Berning in Hell podcast) joins in to chat about naps, love languages, and being real on reality TV.

One Crazy Night Jun 05, 2019

Have you ever had one of those fun, crazy nights where you then spiral into a self worth analysis for days later? That’s exactly what happened with Jessie and Claire so they’re here to tell us all about it. After a few bars and a few failed attempts to chat with guys, they settled with the guys in front of them. Claire realized sometimes it’s easier to make out with a stranger than have a conversation and Jessie breaks down her romantic night in metaphors. They also discuss what they’re really looking for and behaviors they aren’t really proud of. Specifically, Claire wants to apologize to her Uber driver. They all discovered something delightful about wide leg pants that night.

Coming in HOT May 29, 2019

Jessie & Claire are coming in HOT in their first episode. They launch into the No Judgement Zone with updates about a recent affair, arguing heightism, and introducing everyone to the George of the Jungle analogy. Are you familiar with tapered fingers? Well as soon as Claire sees them, her date is dead to her. Jessie says her date is dead when they go dutch. They can’t figure out why they’re single either.

Our Podcast Vows May 02, 2019

Jessie & Claire give you a little preview of what to expect with their podcast. Aka listen to them laugh at each other.

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