No Chill Enneagram: Watch Party

Latest Episodes:

FINALE PT 2: WE'RE ALONE WITH ALL OUR DOUBTS AND FEARS!!! Apr 09, 2019

Show notes

Don’t cry little buddy. Sure, No Chill Enneagram is going away for a while, but it’s not like there aren’t 463 other enneagram podcasts out there for you to peruse. You’ll be just fine, we’re sure of it. Sometimes, though, we’re not fine. Not in the least. And we want to be honest about that - in a funny way? So for the last half of the finale we dimmed the lights, eschewed the guests, and had some real-talk about our lives, our hopes, our dreams, and the various ways we make ourselves miserable. Also we type like 7 million reviews, because we made a promise. Bethany will miss helping you guys. Richard will miss being known by you. Both of them will miss making a show with each other. We’re not going to beat around the bush here. Bethany and Richard are sad about this. BUT - the next season of No Chill Enneagram will be here before you know it, like a budding rose on a bright summer day, which i dunno if that’s a real thing but they are nice words that I strung together. Anyway. Watch this space. Next season you’ll have a role to play beyond giving us stars so we type you. In the meantime, take the time to seek out some other podcasts, like: The MillEnneagram for Idiots and Coffee Journey (Typology). We hear it’s ok.

Finale Pt 1: THIS WAS NOT A DUMB IDEA FOR A PODCAST!! Mar 06, 2019

Show notes

The Enneapocalypse has begun. It's the final count-down before we rebuild again for season 2. It's the end of the NCE world as we know it, at least for now, and we feel fine. Or at least, we'd like to convince ourselves we do. In reality, we're freaking out a little bit, not the least of which because we still have something like a MILLION reviews to type in one single season finale. ALSO: we need to catch up with all of our new friends we've made this season! So we spend time talking to our own artist extraordinaire Matt Metcalf, and our podcast frenemies from The Enneacast, Jesse Eubanks and Samantha Stevenson. OH AND DON'T FORGET: We need to give one more F-U to the enneathought, because come on guys, you're just messing with us aren't you Augh, and we wanted to have all these deep convos about what we've learned and and and and... ok well we'll just have to save the rest for part two. We're not ready to let go quite yet, so enjoy part one of an epic sign-off.

9: I HAVE STRONG OPINIONS BUT THEY ARE A SECRET!! Feb 01, 2019

Show notes

Maybe you’ve heard of Sleeping At Last. He’s kind of a big deal, and HE HAS A NAME THANK YOU VERY MUCH. It’s Ryan. Anyway, Ryan was relieved to find out our show is not very serious, so we cornered him and forced him to rail against the Transformers movies, which he absolutely did not do to an adequate degree. STILL: There’s a lot of fun stuff in this episode, like a deep conversation about what it’s like to be a successful, artistic, productive nine, and what it feels like to have your songs featured on, like, a billion episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. ALSO: We know you’re anxious to hear Ryan’s song about 8s, so we gave him a little help and wrote the lyrics for him. He was astounded by our artistic prowess. Listen to this episode, then go listen to Sleeping At Last some more, then come back and listen to this episode again, then go listen to Sleeping At Last one more time, then listen to your mother on the phone, she misses you, then listen to this podcast again.

THE 2018 NO CHILL ENNEAWARDS!!!! Dec 31, 2018

Show notes

If there’s one thing the enneagram community was missing, it’s an arbitrary and misguided awards show. But don’t worry! Richard is a 4, so he’s all about finding what’s missing and trying in misguided ways to fill that unfillable void. So here we are: the inaugural No Chill Enneawards! This episode, we unveil a new logo, and we bring on the person who created that masterpiece! Our favorite third wheel, Matt Metcalf, joins us to pick apart the nominees for awards like “Best Type 3 of 2018,” “Most Chill,” and “Best Enneagram Twitter Gif Account.” Give it a listen, and expect to explode with rage and/or frustration at your favorite famous person being slighted for something that never really mattered in the first place! (especially if you’re very invested in Taylor Swift)

No Chill Enneagram Saves Christmas!!!! Dec 12, 2018

Show notes

No Chill Enneagram is here to end the war on Christmas once and for all!! This week, Bethany drops in on the Clark household IN THE FLESH, you know, just for fun, all the way from Portland. They hang out and build snowmen and then record a podcast or two together. They're joined by Richard's wife, Jennifer, the 6 in the house to discuss the holiday season. We also read Christmas ennea-grams from our listeners, guaranteed to warm the cockles of your heart, which isn't as gross as it sounds. Also, yes, we went there: we typed Santa. The answer is definitive. ANNNNNND: We type Christmas traditions. You'll never guess what a gingerbread house is. PLUS: The enneagram gift guide! FINALLY: Need help surviving the season? We've put our heads together to come up with some good ways for each number to survive. We're going to get through this, together.

7: I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU, I'M JUST BEING NICE!! GOSH!!! Nov 22, 2018

Show notes

This week, we talk to musician and enneagram 7, Jonny Barahona (pronounced... beautifully), about what it's like to be the life of the party, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. WE'RE TAKING EVERYONE AND GOING TO KARAOKE AND YOU CAN JUST DEAL WITH IT, CHERYL!! AND IF YOU TELL ME TO GET SOME REST ONE MORE TIME I'M NEVER COMING TO YOUR BACHELORETTE FINALE PARTY AGAIN! PLUS: Remember back when Bethany and Joy Beth decided 2s should NEVER date 4s? Well two can play at that game. Guess what number 7s should never date???? AND: We do some weird stuff, just to mess with Jonny. Silence, Sports, So on. BUT FIRST: The Stairwell Saga. Gripping!

6: THE WORLD IS ON FIRE AND I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP EVERYONE ALIVE!! Nov 08, 2018

Show notes

This week, the dynamic enneaduo welcome Emily Lund, a six who keeps moving to new places all by herself, which means she's up for a challenge, that's for sure! PLUS: The news is killing us all. We run down how each number can cope with a brutal news cycle. AND: Yeah, we did that - we ranked the enneagram numbers again, this time on a scale of most to least trustworthy! This stuff is important, someone's got to do it. FINALLY: We figured out why 50% of the earth's population are 6s! Tune in to find out! NO BUT FINALLY FOR REAL NOW: Probably that statistic is totally false, if we had to guess. We think some monk somewhere made it up just to mess with us.

THERE'S A BIBLE TRANSLATION FOR EVERY NUMBER!! Oct 25, 2018

Show notes

You guys! We’re getting paid to do this! This week, thanks to Lifeway.com, we spend a bonus episode typing bible translations. The NIV! ESV! CSB! NKJV! KJV! All of these are assigned to enneagram types! Just like God intended! PLUS: Bethany has an extremely awkward neighborly encounter! Richard tells a story about hiding in the bathroom! Lifeway.com has a bunch of awesome Bible translations and is always running great sales on Bible editions. In fact, at Lifeway.com all CSB Study Bibles are 50% off until October 29th, and all Study Bibles are 36% off through the end of the year! That’s a lot of percents! You should probably get yourself a Bible to match your type.

7 OR 8: WHY IS EVERYONE INTIMIDATED BY MY FUN-LOVING NATURE?!?! Oct 17, 2018

Show notes

This week, we welcome Barnabas Piper. We call him Barn, but you may not, sir. He prefers to go by "John Piper’s son." Barnabas has a dillema. He's not sure if he's an enthusiast or a challenger. Meanwhile all of his friends and family members are like "seriously??" giving each other the side eye with their arms crossed, tapping their feet like sonic the hedgehog, because they all TOTALLY know. Anyway, we pull the blinders from his eyes and show him the truth. What is it? Tune in to find out. ALSO: We type denominations! PLUS: We get to the bottom of the age old No Chill Enneagram question - why is our audience mostly ladies? What's the deal with that? Am i right, BROS? AND: You know those friends who just HATE the enneagram? We show you how to type them against their will with a list of ways each type rejects the gram. AND OF COURSE BECAUSE WE HAD TO: We type John Piper, Barnabas' dad, finally and definitively. We officially know him better than he knows himself, probably. Listen to Barn's podcast, The Happy Rant, and follow him on Twitter: @BarnabasPiper

9&4: MY DOG GOES TO 1 IN STRESS!! Oct 03, 2018

Show notes

This week’s guests need no introduction, except that they do because until now they’ve been ANONYMOUS. This week we’re unmasking the brilliant minds behind The Enneadog, everyone’s favorite Enneagram meme factory. We find out how their insane experiment got its start, how it helps keep them sane in the midst of being barraged by Totally Legit But Still Hurtful Criticism of their work, and of course we talk about dogs. Oh, and we force them to explain how in the world they got EnneaQueen Susanne Stabille to follow them, AND reply to their tweets and can they put in a good word for us please etc?? ALSO A SPECIAL SERVICE: We tell each number what kind of dog they need. FINALLY: The best internet gifs, TYPED! It’s the thing you didn’t know you wanted, but it exists now and you do want it, it turns out. Follow the Enneadog Twitter account at @enneadog (duh).

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