New Wizards

Latest Episodes:

Single-Malt Pony — Book 4, Ch. 10-16 Oct 15, 2017

Show notes

We're making a demand here, folks: Hagrid must fuck. We discuss Mad-Eye's methods, and that awesome class scene, including Neville's freak-out. And can institutional slavery stand up to Hermoine's bake sale?

Ludo Swagman — Book 4, Ch. 1-9 Oct 05, 2017

Show notes

The new wizards quaff deeply from the goblet with a big chunk of action-packed reading. We consider the first chapter's creepy departure from the HP formula, see the Ministry in action, and then go really deep on language theory? Bear with us here.

Stag Party — Book 3, Ch. 20-22 Sep 28, 2017

Show notes

In discussing timeturners, we come even closer to making the entire podcast about the 2004 indie thriller "Primer." We take a close look at how Dumbledore acts when shit's going down, consider why Snape is such an emo wreck, and wonder: what would Josh and Aaron's Marauder names be?

Squid Daddy, with Madeleine Davies Pt 2 — Book 3, Ch. 14-19 Sep 20, 2017

Show notes

Join us for part two of our chat with Maddie. We'll get into the Marauders of old, Snape's whole deal, and most importantly: is Ron… actually lame???

Squid Daddy, with Madeleine Davies Pt 1 — Book 3, Ch. 14-19 Sep 20, 2017

Show notes

We're joined by our friend, Dungeons & Dragons squadmate, and senior Jezebel editor Madeleine Davies in this two-part episode! We touch on her history with the books, the world of HP fan fiction as it first developed, and solid evidence of some bad Gryffindors.

Shookshanks — Book 3, Ch. 8-13 Sep 11, 2017

Show notes

A knife-wielding lunatic is busting into our bedrooms, but all the teachers are sleeping face emoji. Secrets are kept, then not kept. Scabbers… dies??? The Marauder's Map makes its first appearance, and the dot representing Josh can be seen losing its mind.

Sneakoscope Paranoia — Book 3, Ch. 1-7 Sep 06, 2017

Show notes

The wizards have made it to the third (and most beloved?) book, and they're already on a tear. Harry gets roasted. Percy gets roasted. Neville gets roasted. Some innocent Muggles got roasted. Is no one safe?

Seamless, but for Swords — Book 2, Ch. 16-18 Aug 29, 2017

Show notes

The wizards spelunk into the titular chamber, and reflect on this fearsome and satisfying book as a whole. Under the crunchy shell of this extremely metal ending lies the sweet, chewy nougat of some interesting character development. Snake guts, too.

Snake Chat — Book 2, Ch. 9-15 Aug 23, 2017

Show notes

SPOILER ALERT: Josh spoils himself (...?) about the book's ending. The wizards parcel out some Parseltongue takes, explore just how badly Hagrid deserves to be fired, and most importantly, discuss the noble savagery of the Weasley car.

The Weasley Way, with Mel Kassel — Book 2, Ch. 1-8 Aug 16, 2017

Show notes

The wizards are joined by noted ~dark fiction~ writer and close personal friend Mel Kassel (@melkassel) to discuss the first part of book two! We touch upon wizard inequality, wizard racism, magical hominids of all kinds, and everyone's wizard bae Gilderoy Lockhart.

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