Need A Lift? with Tim Shriver

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Redefining Masculinity: How Caring For Boys Emotions Builds Resilient & Healthy Men Jun 18, 2025

Ruth Whippman grew up with her sister in the UK, attending an all-girls school. In adulthood, when she pictured parenting, she usually pictured parenting a daughter. “My life was so dominated by girls and women, and I think I just had no idea how to parent a boy,” she tells Tim. “And then I had three boys.”

Ruth is an author and a journalist by trade, so she started to research how gender roles affect the ways we parent our sons. In her book “BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity,” Ruth says that modern boyhood is marked by a mixture of indulgence and neglect. “We have not held boys and men accountable in many important ways, and we've kind of emotionally neglected them,” she says. “And I think it's the combination of those two that leads to this really toxic soup.” Ruth cites research that showed parents giving baby girls roughly twice as much “nurturing touch” than baby boys. “We talk to baby girls more,” Ruth says. “We are more likely to respond to a baby girl's early sounds and cries.”

Those subtle signals convince boys over time that their feelings don’t matter. Through writing her book, she interviewed adolescent boys who told her again and again that the pressure to appear strong and tough ate away at their self esteem. “These messages we give to boys aren't just harmful for other people, they're harmful for boys themselves,” she tells Tim. “It's leaving them lonely, disconnected from their emotions… But what we actually know about resilience and toughness is that it comes from being emotionally healthy.”

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Ruth Whippman is a journalist, cultural critic, and author of “BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity” and “America the Anxious.” You can learn more at her website RuthWhippman.com or on her Substack, “I Blame Society.”

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Redefining Masculinity: How This Girl-Dad Influencer Found Himself Through Being a Father Jun 11, 2025

When he was a kid, Simon Hooper says his dad was a calm, constant presence in his life. “I don't remember him ever raising his voice really,” he tells Tim. That stood in contrast to some of his fathers who acted distant around their kids, begrudgingly picking their kids up from the playground and angrily barking orders. But even though Simon’s dad wasn’t “scary” like some other fathers, being open with his dad wasn’t always easy. Only a few months after graduating from university, Simon was surprised to learn that his then-girlfriend, now-wife, Clementine, was pregnant with their first child. “I remember finding out and my knees kind of buckled,” Simon tells Tim. “But the biggest thing for me was telling my parents and more specifically my dad.” Simon and Clementine drove to his parents’ house and had dinner, and then dessert, but Simon was still too anxious to break the news, worried that his dad would be upset or it would change their relationship. It wasn’t until Simon was out the door that he got the courage to come back inside and tell his dad that they were expecting a baby. “He stuck his hand out and he shook my hand and said ‘Congratulations, that is brilliant news,’” Simon says. “A huge moment in my journey to fatherhood was to tell my dad and to kind of… get his blessing.”

That was more than eighteen years ago, and Simon is now thoroughly outnumbered as the father of four daughters. In the mid 2010s, in the thick of parenting, he started to notice more and more moms online were making content about their lives and using it to connect with each other. He thought, there are so few dads making this kind of content, but I could be one of the first. His Instagram account @father-of-daughters now has almost a million followers. It’s where he shares his parenting joys and failures, and also tries to “...find some humor in the mundane,” he tells Tim, “because we all go through the mundane as part of parenting.”

Nowadays, Simon is proud to be a part of a generation of dads who are more and more involved in their kids' lives, and who reject the idea that fathers should only be stoic heads-of-households. His advice for young dads is to try not to absorb too many external messages about what fatherhood or masculinity should look like. “Don't go into [parenting] with too much of a preconception around what type of father you should be,” he says. “You will learn it as you go.”

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Simon Hooper is a Global Operations Director for a consultancy firm in London and the author of the book, “Forever Outnumbered: Tales of Our Family Life.” You can see Simon’s girl-dad adventures on Instagram, with his handle @father_of_daughters.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Redefining Masculinity: Becoming A Comprehensive Man with Jason Wilson Jun 04, 2025

In the first episode of our series exploring what healthy masculinity can be for men today, Tim sits down with Jason Wilson, a martial artist, mentor, best-selling author, and founder of The Cave of Adullam, a Detroit-based martial arts academy where boys learn to master not just their bodies, but their emotions. Jason’s work went viral in 2016, inspiring a powerful scene on NBC’s This Is Us. Jason teaches boys to “fight before the fight” by naming what they’re feeling beyond anger, beyond fear, and beyond shame.But before Jason began helping boys fight their inner battles, he had to confront his own.“It became meaningless to train for countless hours [with] no application of what [I] learned to real life,” Jason says, “You don't want to be a black belt in the gym and a white belt in life.”

Jason shares what it means to become a “comprehensive man,” one guided by the good in his heart, rather than fear of how he could be perceived. Jason believes that faith, courage, and vulnerability must go hand in hand if men are to heal themselves and future generations. "I let my son see the tears. I let him know when I'm scared. I teach him that no man, no human, is fearless [because] everyone has something that they love, that they don't want to lose,” Jason says, “Yes, we're providers and protectors, but we're also nurturers. We're also lovers. We are also gentlemen as well.”

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Jason Wilson is the director of the Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy (CATTA) and the author of multiple books, including Cry Like a Man, Battle Cry and his latest, The Man the Moment Demands. His groundbreaking work helping young boys navigate emotional and spiritual challenges was the focus of the award-winning ESPN documentary, The Cave of Adullam produced by Laurence Fishburne.

With over 27 years of martial arts experience and nearly two decades dedicated to mentoring African American young men, Jason was recognized for his contributions to his community with the President’s Volunteer Service Award from President Obama. He is also a devoted husband of more than 25 years and the proud father of two children.

Learn more about his work with The Cave of Adullam at theyunion.org or on his website, mrjasonwilson.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Invest In 'Soul Currency' with Dr. Corey Keyes May 28, 2025

In high school, Dr. Corey Keyes was thriving as a star athlete and top student. Yet, on the inside, he felt numb, restless, and on autopilot. Afraid that this emptiness might follow him forever, he set out to study it and that search became his life’s work. Corey discovered that millions of people are neither mentally ill nor mentally healthy, they are “languishing” and experiencing what he did as a teen. “Languishing is the absence of negative symptoms as well as the absence of well-being or positive symptoms,” Corey explains, “You don't feel anything bad, but you don't feel much of anything good. You're sort of stuck in between.”

In this episode, Corey talks to Tim about how languishing is a gateway for mental illness, and how we can move toward its antidote flourishing—not by chasing happiness, status, or achievements–but by investing in what he calls our “soul currency.” Through small, intentional practices (like connecting with others, serving our local community, and making time for leisure), we can build emotional resilience and restore our spark. “We prioritize the external path to well-being thinking it alone will feed our soul, but it won't,” Corey says, “Place your energy and your time in things that feed the sense of aliveness [because] when we are good and do good things in the world, we feel alive.”

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Dr. Corey Keyes is a pioneering sociologist and professor emeritus at Emory University, best known for coining the terms languishing and flourishing, concepts that have reshaped how we understand mental health today. He is a member of an advisory board for the World Happiness Forum and the Positive Psychology Network.

His work has had wide-reaching policy implications. He has worked with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and his model of mental health as a complete state has been used by the Public Health Agency of Canada in a national surveillance program.

His latest book, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down is available now.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

America, Unfiltered: Documenting the Soul of a Nation May 21, 2025

“What does it mean to be a true American?”

That’s the question filmmakers Horacio Marquinez and Kirill Myltsev asked thousands of people during a nine-month road trip across America at the height of the pandemic. Their journey became America Unfiltered, a raw, resonant documentary capturing voices from people in Las Vegas, El Paso, Atlanta, Washington, D.C. and beyond, including gun owners, undocumented immigrants, grieving mothers, conspiracy theorists, and queer couples. They weren’t chasing headlines or politicized caricatures, but the truth. And sometimes that meant stepping outside of their comfort zone and personal beliefs. “You cannot fight other people's principles by silencing them or just not talking to them or hating them,” Kirill shares with Tim, “If some principles have been broken, you can restore them [through] conversation.”

In the end, what Horacio and Kirill discovered wasn’t a single story of America, but a kaleidoscope of contradictions: freedom and fear, pride and pain, hope and heartbreak. America Unfiltered isn’t about being right or even having all the answers. It’s about being authentic, honest, and real, and in a divided country, they found that listening may be the most radical act of all. As Horacio explains, “I don't know what your reality is, so I cannot explain to you what your reality is. You tell me what your reality is.”

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Horacio Marquinez is a cinematographer, director, and photographer from Panama who has made over 40 full length films across the globe. He’s a graduate of Columbia University's Film School and has worked on many independent films, commercials, and major motion pictures, collaborating with renowned directors, producers, and actors such as Robin Williams, Adrien Brody, Dolly Parton, Vera Farmiga, Milla Jovovich, and David Corenswet. He received the Best Cinematography Award at the Milano International Film Festival.

Kirill Myltsev is a commercial and narrative film editor born and raised in Moscow, Russia. He has edited over a dozen feature films and worked on dozens of International and American commercials and films. He holds a Master's in Film Directing and an MBA from the University of Moscow.

Learn more about the filmmakers’ work at their websites:

America Unfiltered is now available to stream on Amazon Prime, Tubi, Hoopla, and Kanopy.

An excerpt from Let America Be America Againby Langston Hughes was used by permission ofthe Estate of Langston Hughes and International Literary Properties LLC.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Story-Telling Is the Operating System of the Human Brain May 14, 2025

For John Bucher, storytelling matters. It’s how we make sense of the world around us and define the boundaries of what we think is possible, and he’s spent a lot of time exploring how the Hero’s Journey, a model for telling epic stories of individuals experiencing adventure and triumph first defined by the academic Joseph Campbell, can help us see our own journey to personal growth and self-discovery. But John says that the Hero’s Journey shouldn’t be treated as the only or ultimate model for storytelling. “It's still about an individual ego on its own journey,” John tells Tim. “And so a few years ago I started to consider a better story, a new story, and that's the collective journey of all of us.”

John started to research moments in history when groups of people came together to make a change, and how we narrate those experiences. “I think looking at these stories of how we've accomplished big things in the past by coming together as a collective can be quite inspirational to us, but it can also teach us how people found their individual roles,” John tells Tim. By telling stories about groups, we can better understand how we can work collectively for common goals, and better understand the small part we can all play. “I'm not going to be the star or the main character… because there is no main character,” John says. “We're all going to be the main characters.”

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John Bucher is a mythologist, an author, and the Executive Director of the Joseph Campbell Institute. You can find his work, including his books on storytelling, at his website, tellingabetterstory.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Seeing Your Kids For Who They Are: On Autism, Play, and Parenting with Anxiety May 07, 2025

Before his autism diagnosis, Susan Senator didn’t know why her first born son Nat didn’t act like the babies in her parenting books. “I mean, he was beautiful,” she tells Tim. “But… he did everything differently than what I expected.” Susan put in intentional work to better understand Nat and her two younger sons, Max and Ben, getting to know her kids' distinct personalities through how they played: one son wanted to line the toys up in a perfect row, another wanted characters from different universes to team up. “I was constantly learning,” Susan says.

Susan decided to write about parenting and autism, in part so other parents could understand their kids better as the early 90s, when Nat was first diagnosed, was what Susan calls “the autism stone age,” a time when understanding and acceptance of autism was rare. Since then, she’s written op-eds, essays, and three books, all with a central message: “You're not gonna deny that it's hard, but you have to know that this is great, right here as it is,” Susan says. "That's why I write. I want them to see Nat as he is– this full person.”

Susan’s journey towards understanding her children holistically hasn’t stopped since they’ve all grown up and moved out of the house. Being a mom of three creative sons means supporting them through many goals, whether that’s in graphic design, playing music in a band, or competing in Special Olympics. For Susan, it’s all been worth it. “I think a [great mom] sees her kids… really sees them for who they are,” she tells Tim. “You let whatever they are come at you and the sooner you get it, the better.”

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Susan Senator is a journalist, a public speaker, and the author of the book, “Autism Adulthood: Strategies and Insights for a Fulfilling Life.” You can learn more about her work on her website, susansenator.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Relationship Experts John and Julie Gottman Think Compatibility is Created, not Found Apr 30, 2025

After his second divorce, John Gottman decided to treat finding love like a research project. To collect enough data he went on 60 different dates that were all disasters, until one day at a Seattle coffee shop, when Julie Schwartz walked past his table. It was love at first sight.

The Gottmans have been married for 38 years and have spent decades as collaborators studying the psychology of love and relationships. In 1996, they co-founded the Gottman Institute, where they’ve interviewed thousands of couples and developed an evidence-based training program for therapists.

Given their decades of professional and personal success, you may be surprised to learn this about their relationship: “We're totally opposite people,” John tells Tim. While Julie is outdoorsy and adventurous, John is happiest relaxing indoors. But according to Julie, “We found a way to mesh our incompatibilities in one activity, which happens to be outside– kayaking.” It’s the perfect compromise since it’s outdoors, but also comfortably seated. Julie thinks the idea that happy couples are compatible from the beginning is a myth, and John says that as couples learn about each other and find compromises that make them both happy, “Couples create this compatibility.”

The Gottmans have given many interviews over their decades of work, but this conversation with Tim is distinct because they really get into the philosophies behind their work, the intentionality, the romance, and even the spirituality that allows them to be such pioneers in their field.

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Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman and Dr. John Gottman are clinical psychologists, researchers, and co-authors of the book “Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection.” You can learn more about their work on the Gottman Institute website, gottman.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This Retired Cop Believes ‘In the Eyes of God, We're All Career Criminals’ Apr 23, 2025

When Grant Snyder started his career in law enforcement, he quickly realized that a huge part of the job was witnessing the worst day of someone’s life, whether they were a victim or a perpetrator. “I really had to try and imagine what it was that I had to offer people, and more often than not, it was… how do I protect somebody's dignity?,” he tells Tim, “I felt like I had a role in that beyond just handcuffs.”

Grant’s carried this with him as he worked with victims of human trafficking and sexual violence, and when he became the Minneapolis Police Department’s first liaison dedicated to homeless and vulnerable populations – a role he helped create.

Much of his time on the job was focused on relationship building, talking to people, and helping out where he could. “On a hot day, you're bringing around cases of water and making sure people are hydrating,” he said. “That's a totally different role than most police officers get a chance to do. But that's public service. That's public safety.”

Grant retired from police work in 2023 and now works full-time at Involve MN, a charity he founded with his wife, Melanie Snyder. Together, the non-profit serves three healthy meals every day, 365 days a year, in their dining room and in shelters and encampments across Minneapolis and St. Paul.

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Grant Snyder is a retired commander with Minneapolis Police Department and he's the co-founder of Involve MN, a Minnesota non-profit serving free meals across the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. Learn more about their work at InvolveMN.org.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Love Better: Yung Pueblo on the Inner Work of Relationships Apr 16, 2025

Growing up, poet and mindfulness teacher Diego Perez (better known to his millions of Instagram followers as Yung Pueblo) watched as his parents struggled to maintain a healthy relationship amidst the poverty and external pressures they faced. So when he met his wife Sara in college and they started arguing, and their communication broke down, he feared he might be repeating the same cycle. Diego explains, “We knew we wanted to be together, but we were just constantly blaming each other…whenever I would feel tension in my mind, I would try to figure out, ‘how is it her fault?’ as opposed to taking accountability for what's happening in my own mind.”

Diego realized that in order for his relationship to transform, he had to transform – so he began to learn how to feel his feelings without acting on them, how to build a “spiritual eight-pack” through daily meditation, and turned his inner work into a public invitation for others to do the same, through his books and his popular Instagram posts. “We want our partner to be able to read our minds,” Diego shares with Tim, “but that is an unfair expectation because you can have a partner who wants to give you the world, but if your hands are closed because you have so much past pain, you won't be able to receive what they're giving."

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In his early twenties, Diego Perez (better known by millions as Yung Pueblo) discovered vipassana meditation. It changed his life and ultimately led him to writing. Today, he’s a meditator, poet, and New York Times bestselling author. His latest book How to Love Betterexplores how we can repair our romantic connections by working on our relationships with ourselves.

Learn more about his work on his Instagram page, @yung_pueblo or on his website, yungpueblo.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Death is Not the End of Love,” A Rabbi’s Guide to Grief and Healing Apr 09, 2025

What would our lives look like if we learned to see death as a teacher and not something to be feared? And what if “grief is love obstructed, but not gone?” That’s what Rabbi Steve Leder believes.

Rabbi Leder, who has been called one of the most influential rabbis in America by Newsweek, spent decades of his life guiding families through loss. He officiated thousands of funerals, helping people make sense of what feels impossible to understand. But it wasn’t until he turned 57, when his own father passed away, that he fully understood grief and dying.

His personal loss forced him to approach death for the first time, not as a rabbi, but as a son. In that process, he discovered something simple yet profound: we’re all going to die but that doesn’t have to be depressing, it can actually help us live fuller, richer lives. "Contemplating our own death, ideally, encourages us and motivates us to take our lives, our relationships, and our joy more seriously," Rabbi Steve explains.

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Steve Leder is one of the most influential rabbis in America and formerly the senior rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles. He is also the bestselling author of five books including, The Beauty of What Remains: How Our Greatest Fear Becomes Our Greatest Gift.

Learn more about his work on his website, steveleder.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How "Reporter Poetry" helped Maria Shriver Put Her Heart Back Together Apr 02, 2025

The world knows Maria Shriver for her many accolades – award-winning journalist, bestselling author, former First Lady of California, media mogul, just to name a few, but in her new book she’s introducing us to “Maria the poet.”

In I Am Maria, her most intimate book yet, Maria is reporting from the front lines of her own life, with what she calls “reporter poetry,” uncovering emotions she had long buried. “The voice that wrote these poems was somebody that I was unfamiliar with, that was much more tender than the person I was projecting out in the world. That was much more heartbroken than I had realized, that was much shyer than I had realized, that was much angrier than I had realized, and who was still searching for something that I would call home,”Maria says.

In this week’s episode of “Need A Lift?,” Tim sits down with his big sister Maria, for a rare and revealing conversation about family, heartbreak, and the healing power of poetry.Together, they explore the moments of longing and loss that defined Maria’s early years and how writing became a tool for growth and transformation. Maria shares the hard-earned wisdom she’s gained about healing, not as a process of fixing, but as one of accepting, integrating, and moving forward with love and self-compassion.“I like this version of myself. I feel more at home,” Maria reflects,“I've come to understand that home is inside of me, and I would not have learned that had I not gone within. I would not have learned that I'm okay on my own, content with myself, that home is me here with my relationship with God, had I not gone through everything I've gone through.”

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Maria Shriver is a Peabody and Emmy Award-winning journalist and producer. She is the former First Lady of California, founder of Shriver Media and the Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement, co-founder of brain health brand MOSH, and publisher of The Open Field.

She’s written seven New York Times bestselling books and her latest book, “I Am Maria: My Reflections and Poems on Heartbreak, Healing, and Finding Your Way Home” is available now.

Learn more about Maria's new book and her brilliant work on her website, mariashriver.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Receiving Unconditional Love Can Heal Your Past Mar 26, 2025

What happens when life gives you a second chance? For Steve Avalos, this question isn’t hypothetical but the difference between repeating a cycle of violence or breaking free from it. Growing up in Los Angeles, which has been referred to as “the gang capital of the world,” Steve was surrounded by generational gang life. His parents, brothers, cousins, aunts, and uncles were all affiliated and by age 17, Steve was sentenced to life in prison.

Throughout all this, Steve’s Roman Catholic faith remained a huge part of his life. Even when he was what he calls just “a believer and not a follower,” he witnessed the presence and power of God in his life. His faith, paired with unexpected guides along the way, helped him find a path forward. After serving 17 years, Steve found himself walking out of prison into a new life as a devoted husband and father of four, a community leader at Homeboy Industries (the world’s largest gang intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program), and a graduate student (Steve is currently earning a master’s degree in theology).

In this conversation, he talks to Tim about what it took to transform his life, the moment his faith became real, and the unexpected power of being truly seen. “Homeboy Industries never gives up on you.”Steve says,“The last is first there. If you got tattoos, you have a violent record, you've never had a job, you're on parole, you're on probation –odds are you wouldn't be hired somewhere else, and if you are, you might be the last one picked. At Homeboy Industries, you're the first one picked… we love you until you start to love yourself.”

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Steve Avalos is the VP of Operations at Homeboy Industries, the world's largest gang intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program. Founded in East Los Angeles by Father Greg Boyle in the late 1980s, Homeboy Industries has changed the lives of almost 8,000 people (and counting!) many of whom have been impacted by gang violence.

Steve is currently pursuing his Master's in Theology at Loyola Marymount University and he’s a father of four and a devoted husband.

Learn more about Steve's work with Homeboy Industries on their website, HomeboyIndustries.org.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Jewel Built a Relationship With Her Anxiety Mar 19, 2025

Ever since she was a kid, singer-songwriter Jewel has taken a methodical approach to her own happiness. As a teenager, she moved out of her abusive household with one mission: “My goal was to learn if happiness was a learnable skill,” she tells Tim. “If it wasn't taught in your household, could it still be taught?”

Jewel says her practical attitude helped her stay mentally healthy and successful in a creative field as chaotic as the music industry. In her thirties, she began to wonder if her anxiety was a feature rather than a bug, considering just how many other people struggle with the same problem. “I don't think… God was like, ‘Oops, sorry humanity,’” she says. “‘Just a little default flaw there.’” She discovered that if she paid attention, she could track which trigger was making her feel anxious, and learn from that feeling rather than avoiding it. “I stopped trying to disassociate from anxiety and started to get into relationship with my anxiety,” she says.

In addition to her successful career as a musician, Jewel is also a mental health advocate and co-founder of the Inspiring Children Foundation, which connects kids who might not be able to afford traditional therapy with mental health resources and curriculum. “My life changed by these little habits that I learned to develop,” she says. “And I wanted to see if they could work for other kids like me that fell through the cracks.”

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Jewel is a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter and performer of hit songs like “Who Will Save Your Soul” and “You Were Meant for Me.” She’s a mental health advocate and co-founder of the Inspiring Children Foundation. You can learn more about her work at her website jeweljk.com, and on her social media, @jewel.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Making New Friends Can Help You Live in the Moment Mar 12, 2025

Growing up in Dewey, Oklahoma, Tanner Ray never felt like he fit in. In his small rural town, Tanner says he was “kind of the weird artsy kid” who aspired to become a documentary filmmaker. After graduating high school, he briefly achieved his dreams of traveling the country. But at 18, when financial problems led him back to Oklahoma, he realized that many of his friends from high school had moved away. “They all were starting their lives,” he says. “And there was just me… I felt very isolated and lonely.”

He decided to approach this problem in his own unique way: by creating a documentary about making new friends. Tanner’s short doc, “An Oklahoma Summer”, chronicles his struggle to connect and how the new friends he makes teach him to make the most of every moment, by going on adventures like ghost hunting, horseback riding, and shopping cart racing. “I was having so much fun in this place that I resented my whole life,” Tanner tells Tim. “The whole time I was focused on leaving, I was missing this… adventure unfolding like right before me.”

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Tanner Ray is a documentary filmmaker currently based in Oklahoma. You can find his short films like “An Oklahoma Summer” on his YouTube channel, @WickedStew. You can also see his work on TikTok and Instagram.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Practice Episode: Raising Resilient Kids in the Age of Anxiety Mar 05, 2025

What does it really take to succeed—not just in school, but in life? David Adams believes the answer isn’t our intelligence or talent but our ability to control our emotions. Back in high school, he noticed a surprising link between cross-country runners and top students: enduring discomfort and delaying gratification led to their overall success because it built resilience. David says, “One of the things I think we've gotten a little bit wrong is that we've stopped exposing students and young people to hard things because it makes them feel bad. It’s okay to feel bad.”

As CEO of Urban Assembly, a network of 20 New York City public high schools that incorporates Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) in their curriculum, David’s mission is to ensure kids get the best education possible by learning how to effectively manage their feelings and relationships. In this practice episode, Tim and David dive deep into the power of SEL and emotional intelligence—what they are, why they matter, and how they can transform the way we navigate our lives. Through engaging stories from his personal life and work as an educator, David challenges the idea that feelings should dictate our actions, emphasizing instead the importance of pausing, reflecting, and aligning our emotions with our goals. "Feeling is not the same thing as being. We can feel things and not necessarily have to act on those feelings...When we create space between feeling and doing," David explains, "We give ourselves the chance to make better decisions."

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David Adams is an award-winning educator and author of The Educator's Practical Guide to Emotional Intelligence. As CEO of Urban Assembly, a network of 20 NYC public high schools incorporating social and emotional learning in their curriculum, he helps kids thrive by learning how to manage their feelings. As a husband and a father to two young boys, David puts his social and emotional skills into practice every single day.

Learn more about David’s work with Urban Assembly on their website, UrbanAssembly.org.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trying To Make a Change? Rely on Self-Control ‘As Little as Possible’ Feb 26, 2025

We’re almost two months into 2025, and how many of us have already given up on our New Year's resolutions? If you feel stuck in old habits, don’t beat yourself up. You might just need a new approach.

Eric Zimmer is a behavioral coach and host of the podcast, “The One You Feed,” and he believes in creating realistic goals. “We often set ourselves up to make big changes that we're just not in a position to make,” he tells Tim. A common mistake, Eric says, is relying too much on willpower. If you really want to make a change, “...make it hard to do the things you don't want to do, and make it easy to do the things you do want to do,” he says.

Eric has personal experience with creating lasting change. Throughout his twenties and thirties, his struggles with addiction were too big for him to handle alone. “It's like a series of vines that just tighten around you,” he told Tim. Getting sober taught him the importance of abandoning shame without abandoning accountability, and it also brought unexpected benefits, for more than just himself. “The more I'm able to forgive myself, the more I'm able to forgive you,” he says. “The more I'm able to forgive you, the more I'm actually able to forgive myself.”

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Eric Zimmer is a behavior coach, an interfaith spiritual director, and a writer. He’s also the host of the award-winning podcast, “The One You Feed.” For more than two decades, he’s used the many lessons from his own life and recovery to help others build new habits aligned with their core goals. Learn more about his work on his website, oneyoufeed.net

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Practice Episode: Curating A Soundtrack for Your Life (And Feelings) with Hanif Abdurraqib Feb 19, 2025

As a young child who often found delight in isolation, award-winning writer and cultural critic, Hanif Abdurraqib now regularly curates playlists as a way to connect with others as well as as well as himself. But for Hanif, a playlist is never just a list of songs. It's a carefully constructed narrative, a shared emotional experience, and a "catalog of excitements," creating a sonic world that other people can access. Like a writer weaving together a plot or a pastor crafting a sermon, Hanif sequences his playlists with intention, knowing that when one song is placed next to another, it hasthe ability to reach deep within the listener and ignite something powerful. As Hanif says, “The playlist [is] a real spiritual practice of generosity.”

On today’s practice episode, Hanif guides Tim through his Spotify playlist, “A Community Compendium of Opening Lyrics,” which he created with the help of his followers on Instagram. They explore the emotional power of music and memory through songs featured on the playlist like Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" and Prince's "Let's Go Crazy." Together, they dig deep into Hanif’s playlist-making approach and uncover how we all can take part in this spiritual practice, which Hanif believes can help us process the difficult emotions we encounter in our lives.“I know for a fact I'm not going to heal my anxiety with a song, but by using a song as a soundtrack to it, it fleshes it out more,” Hanif explains, “I feel like I'm living alongside of it and not that it's living within me. And if I'm living alongside it, it's easier for me to kind of control it.”

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Hanif Abdurraqib is an award-winning writer and cultural critic from the east side of Columbus, Ohio. His work has appeared in The Fader, Pitchfork, and The New Yorker, and he's a recipient of the MacArthur Foundation's Genius Grant. He’s written several books of poetry and essays, including the New York Times bestseller, Go Ahead In The Rain: Notes To A Tribe Called Quest and his latest book, There’s Always This Year, a mesmerizing memoir on basketball, life, and home.

Learn more about his work on his website, abdurraqib.com.

Listen to Hanif’s playlist “A Community Compendium of Opening Lyrics,” and check out two songs not featured on the playlist that take Hanif and Tim way back –Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit and Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass’ Spanish Flea.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jen Hatmaker Traded Religious Rules for Spiritual Practices Feb 12, 2025

Jen Hatmaker was a rockstar in evangelical circles in the late 2000s. She founded and co-led a church with her husband and headlined Christian women’s conferences around the country as a sought after speaker. She ran a popular blog with millions of followers and published several books and Bible studies, coaching women on marriage and family as a wife and mother of five. So when Jen announced that her 26-year marriage had come to an end in September 2020, she sent shockwaves throughout her community.

Forced to rebuild her private life and public image at the same time, Jen came face-to-face with the truth that what she’d been taught to believe, and even teach others, no longer made sense to her. But in her grief and recovery, she discovered a new understanding of her faith, one that holds two simple beliefs: love God and love people. “There's gotta be a ‘we over me,’” Jen tells Tim in this week’s episode “It is good for our souls and our minds and our lives to care about other people and to say…What does the common good look like here? If my neighbor is suffering, then I am suffering. Period.”

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Jen Hatmaker is the New-York Times bestselling author ofFor The Love, Of Mess and Moxie, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire, and Feed These People, along with 10 other books. She hosts the award-winning For the Love podcast and is the delighted curator of the Jen Hatmaker Book Club. She is also the leader of a tightly knit online community where she reaches millions of people each week.

Jen is a co-founder of the Legacy Collective, a giving organization that grants millions of dollars towards sustainable projects around the world. She is a mom to five kids, and lives just outside Austin, Texas.

Learn more about her work on her website, jenhatmaker.com

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Former NFL Player’s Journey From Offensive Tackle to Yogi Feb 05, 2025

Football shaped Mike Adams into the man he is today. “The biggest sign in our locker room said ‘Respect Women,’” he tells Tim about his time playing for Ohio State University. His team was the center of his life, connecting him with friends, mentors, and a sense of purpose.

So when Mike retired from the NFL after years of injuries and complications, he lost a community that was important to him. “There's an identity shift that happens when you retire where… overnight, I'm no longer a football player,” Mike says. “Well, who am I going to be?”

For Mike, yoga brought him the answer. It put him in touch with his body in ways football never did, and the people he met through yoga valued him outside of his success in the NFL. Mike’s yoga practice helped him transition into a new sense of purpose, and he became a yoga teacher to provide the same support to others that helped him when he needed it most. “It's given me a way to push myself mentally and spiritually,” he says. “But then also… a way to give back.”

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Mike Adams is a yoga and mindfulness instructor. You can learn more about him and his yoga retreats at his website thehopedealer.yoga and find his virtual classes at stillwavelive.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marion Jones on ‘Why You Control Who You Are, Who You Can Become’ Jan 29, 2025

Marion Jones is a business mentor and joyful fitness coach of entrepreneurs, sharing the hard-earned lessons from her former life as a professional athlete.

Many of us remember her as the world champion track and field athlete who dominated the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games, winning five medals and becoming the first woman to do so at a single Olympic game. Years later, Marion was convicted of lying to prosecutors about her use of performance-enhancing drugs. In the aftermath, she was stripped of all her medals and Olympic track records and sentenced to six months in prison, effectively ending her competitive career.

While in prison, Marion spent 49 days in solitary confinement. Away from distractions, the spotlight, her family, and her friends, she came face-to-face with her mistakes and the process of rebuilding her life from the inside out began. “I [refused] to allow this to be the end of my story,” Marion says, “I have a testimony and a story that is so powerful that you cannot even compare [it] to any race.”

While many have been quick to dismiss her story as a cautionary tale, Marion is resolute in her belief that failure isn’t forever. Marion says, “You don't have to allow all your past mistakes to define who you are…You control who you are and who you can become.”

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Marion Jones is a former world champion track and field athlete. She played two seasons of professional basketball in the Women's National Basketball Association, as point guard for the Tulsa Shock. Marion is also the author of “On the Right Track from Olympic Downfall to Finding Forgiveness and the Strength to Overcome and Succeed.” Learn more about her fitness training and coaching work on her website, marionjones.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Facing Fear Might Be the Key to Your Breakthrough Jan 22, 2025

For seven years, Tom Rosshirt lived in fear. He was afraid that chemicals in the air were making him sick and depressed, that mold spores in his walls were making him forgetful and panicky. He cut out different foods that he loved, hoping that might help him feel better. Lights and sounds overwhelmed him and he isolated himself. “My life became smaller and smaller,” he said. “And I was getting worse and worse.”

After countless visits with doctors and specialists, Tom finally realized what was at the root of his illness: his anxiety and fear were causing these physical symptoms. And by continuing to cut more and more out of his life, he was feeding those anxieties, which in turn, made him more sick. While working with a support group which taught him practices based in neuroplasticity, he was able to finally take control of his life again. That experience is the focus of his new book, “Chasing Peace.” As Tom shares with Tim in their conversation, “...Reducing fear is one of the great ways to ease suffering and one of the great ways to bring peace. [And we] reduce fear by facing it and feeling it.”

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Tom Rosshirt is an author, a co-creator of the Dignity Index, and a former White House speech writer. His new book “Chasing Peace: a story of breakdowns, breakthroughs, and the spiritual power of neuroscience” is out now. You can learn more by following him @tomrosshirt on Instagram or at tomrosshirt.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Be Compassionate and 'Conflict Well' Jan 15, 2025

Rev. angel Kyodo williams is a Zen Buddhist priest, and she says that her spiritual journey started when she was a child, after someone close to her let her down. In that moment, she realized that she needed to have compassion for this person and, in a way, let them off the hook. “Letting them off the hook is not saying… ‘Oh, it's okay that they did that,’” she tells Tim. “But it is part of the fabric of what it means to be human and alive. And I get to continue to love them, not despite, but because of all of those missteps and mistakes.”

Rev. angel is a spiritual leader and an activist, someone searching for compassion and change at the same time. While working in social movements fighting against homophobia and racism, she noticed that conflict and frustration was eating her comrades alive. “We couldn't get things done because everybody was fighting with each other, because that's what we practiced,” she said. Now, Rev. angel teaches others how to “conflict well,” as she calls it. She thinks we can organize with love, while looking to the future for bigger solutions.

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Rev. angel Kyodo williams is a Zen Buddhist priest and author of “Radical Dharma: Talking Race, Love and Liberation” and “Being Black: Zen and the Art of Living With Fearlessness & Grace.” Her newest project is called the Healing Race Portal, what she calls the culmination of all her work. You can learn more at healingraceportal.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

America’s Doctor, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy on How Community Can Save Us Jan 08, 2025

“What is our responsibility to one another?”

“How do we create a culture that prioritizes community and the virtues it requires?”

“What kind of world do we seek to create together, for ourselves and our children?”

These are the fundamental questions Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy poses to all of us in his “Parting Prescription for America,” released publicly yesterday. Motivated by a quest to understand the deeper roots of despair he’s witnessed across America during his nearly 10 years of service, Dr. Murthy outlines four essential components of fulfillment and our overall well-being: relationships, service, purpose, and love. These elements are also core to building community, he shares with Tim in this episode.“If you can help people feel like someone does care about them, that they do belong… If you can give people the opportunity to connect by joint actions of service or by helping one another…[these small things] help us change culture.”

As Dr. Murthy prepares to leave his role as Surgeon General later this month, his charge to the nation is simple. Focus on the small things. “Make five or 10 minutes to reach out each day to somebody [you] care about…look for one thing [you] can do each day to help somebody in [your life]. These things might seem small, but…for people who are struggling with a sense of despondency and despair, small moments can be lifelines,” Dr. Murthy says. “It's like dropping a pebble in a pond. They generate powerful ripples. Each person that you help is then more likely to go off and help somebody else.”

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Dr. Vivek Murthy served as the 19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States, first under President Obama and later under President Biden, and as Vice Admiral of the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Corps.

He led the nation's response during a number of public health challenges including Ebola, Zika virus, and the opioid crisis where he helped our nation see addiction as a chronic illness instead of as a character flaw. His work challenged us to notice the impact of social isolation and loneliness on America's physical, spiritual, social, and mental wellbeing. Most recently, he made headlines with his research linking alcohol and cancer.

Learn more about Dr. Murthy’s public health initiatives and groundbreaking work on his website, vivekmurthy.com and read his latest report at surgeongeneral.gov/community.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Prayer and Therapy Go Hand in Hand Jan 01, 2025

When Dr. Anita Phillips was a kid, she didn’t understand why God wouldn’t heal her sister’s pain. She didn’t know then, but her sister Valerie had a severe mental illness, one that couldn’t be solved with her family’s prayers alone. Growing up, there was a sharp divide between Dr. Anita’s Christian background and mental health. In her community, “...if you went to therapy, it must mean that you didn't have enough faith,” she told Tim. That tension set her on a path to become a trauma therapist and a minister, someone who can support both our mind and our spirit. “I come alongside people of faith and help them improve their experience with God,” she said. Dr. Anita sees caring for your emotional health as being deeply connected to what we believe about the world and ourselves. And if we neglect our emotions, it can become a kind of “spiritual bypassing” where we try to avoid our feelings, hoping that they will go away, only to have them manifest in other ways. “Emotions don’t last forever, but they will wait forever…eventually that pain will find its way out,” says Dr. Anita.

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Dr. Anita Phillips is the host of the podcast “In the Light with Dr. Anita Phillips” and the author of “The Garden Within.” You can follow her on social media using the handle @dranitaphillips.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Faith Is a Verb Dec 25, 2024

Reverend Jen Bailey comes from a long line of Black women who “made a way out of no way.” As a young girl encouraged by church mothers who “made spiritual work come alive,” Jen discovered God was both a heavenly being to be revered and a confidant she could trust with hard questions about her daily life and reality.

Today, Jen’s work is grounded in the belief that faith matters for action, and action manifests faith, both in her life as a preacher, a writer, and as an advocate for justice. In 2014, she founded Faith Matters Network, which supports faith leaders, community organizers, and social activists with the tools they need to heal themselves and their communities. And she also serves on the board of several philanthropic foundations and advisory groups helping people with resources invest in the work of spiritual and social change.

On days when hope is harder to access in her work and in her life, Jen says she considers three important questions, “What is dying in the world? What wants to emerge? And what is already blooming beautifully?”

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Reverend Jennifer Bailey is an ordained minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Church, a public theologian, and a leader in the multi-faith movement for justice.

She is the founder of Faith Matters Network and a co-founder of The People's Supper. You can learn more about her work and her beautiful book, “To My Beloveds: Letters on Faith, Race, Loss, and Radical Hope” on her website reverendjen.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Gun Violence Survivor on How Forgiveness Saved His Life Dec 18, 2024

Growing up in 1980s New Haven, Connecticut, Lamont Young faced many challenges including poverty, racism, and isolation. Then, at 19-years old, he was shot seven times at point blank range. Miraculously, he survived, but life after the shooting was far from easy. Lamont experienced PTSD, lived in a homeless shelter, lost custody of his kids, and turned to drugs and alcohol. He credits his mother’s unconditional love and faith for helping him release his anger and finally begin the healing process. “She said, ‘It doesn't matter what happened to you in the past, what you did in the past, what anybody ever did to you in the past....Forgive yourself.’”

Years later when Lamont came face-to-face with his shooter, instead of seeking revenge he chose to forgive him. “Who am I to take your life after God saved my life?... And I hugged him, my mom hugged him, and she prayed for him, and we drove off and that was it.” Lamont eventually attended rehab and after recovery he graduated with a masters in psychology from Fordham University.

Today, Lamont serves a mix of youth, adults and families in his local community as a licensed mental health clinician, equipping clients with the coping skills he needed as a young man. “[I ask them] ‘How can I help? What can I do to help you?’ And once they start sharing, I’ll give them hope. Let them know no matter what [they’re] going through, this is what we’re going to do together to be able to heal [them].”

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Lamont Young is a licensed mental health clinician specializing in Addiction Psychiatry. Previously, he worked at a middle school as a trauma informed therapist and at Yale Psychiatric Hospital helping transitional youth. Today, he continues to serve his community by working with a mix of young people, adults, and families.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How a Sandy Hook Parent Turned Devastation Into Love and Action Dec 11, 2024

Scarlett Lewis remembers feeling like there was no future for her. “I literally had this thought that I was going to dissolve,” she tells Tim, recounting the days after the death of her son Jesse at the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting on December 14th, twelve years ago. She realized there was no playbook on how to process the murder of her son, but she knew that she did not want to be a victim, or to feel hopeless. “Hopelessness is dangerous for the person feeling it and for those around them. I did not want to go down the same path as Adam Lanza. Why fight anger with anger? It doesn't do any good. It doesn't solve anything. How about fighting anger with love? That's a concept.” This idea brought her to the field of Social and Emotional Learning, or SEL. SEL gives kids tools to manage their emotions and make better choices, and Scarlett believes it has the potential to prevent violence. She built the Choose Love Movement to bring SEL curriculum to more schools, as well as prisons, workplaces, families and communities. Scarlett has been able to forgive her son’s killer, but the pain and loss of his death is with her every day. “And it is that pain that drives me to do what I do every day as well.”

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Scarlett Lewis is the founder of the Choose Love Movement. You can learn more about her work at their website: chooselovemovement.org

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For Better or Worse: Marriage Could Cost This Couple Their Healthcare Dec 04, 2024

When Patrice Jetter and her fiancé Garry Wickham met over 30 years ago at work, they instantly clicked. “They had to separate us after a while,” Garry said. “We couldn't sit together because… all we’d do is laugh.”

You can see their laughter and love for each other in the new documentary, “Patrice: The Movie,” now streaming on Hulu. It tells the story of Patrice’s life growing up as a child with a disability in New Jersey and her journey to heal from bullying, trauma and abuse. “I learned early on that I had very little control over what went on in my life,” she told Tim. In response, Patrice developed a personal philosophy of joy and positivity. She learned she could improve her day “...by just smiling or doing something to make another person laugh.”

Now 60 years old, Patrice insists on living her life exactly the way she wants. She draws and makes elaborate original costumes. She figure skates and swims with Special Olympics. But there’s one thing she’s still not able to do: Marry her fiancé and best friend, Garry. In this episode, Patrice, Garry, and Tim discuss the laws keeping them apart, and their struggle for marriage rights for all couples with disabilities.

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Patrice Jetter and Garry Wickham are the stars of the new documentary, “Patrice: The Movie” now streaming on Hulu. Learn more about the film by following @patricethemovie on social media. You can go to patricethemovie.com and click “Take Action” to send a letter to your lawmakers telling them you want the marriage penalty changed.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why Friendship Is Part of Finding Your Purpose Nov 27, 2024

Comedians, screenwriters, and best friends, Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo are “champions of friendship.” Every year on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, they gather with seven other friends at a steakhouse in Brooklyn to vote on who had the best year. The winner takes home a “man of the year” trophy, a tradition that has sustained their friendship for almost 40 years.

As a response to a survey which found that 49% of Americans reported having three or fewer friends and 12% reported having zero close friends, they launched the Man of the Year podcast in late 2022. They’re on a mission to show men why true contentment is a byproduct of healthy relationships and how deep connections have the power to shift the trajectory of your life. On the show, they provide “Friend-Ed” (friend education), offering men advice on everything from the art of the “boy’s night,” how to support a grieving friend, and how to tell your friend “I love you.” “One tip we give to our listeners is to start with thank you. We say, ‘Thanks is a gateway emotion.’ So you start with “thank you”…make your way up to “I love you.”” Aaron Karo says.

In this episode, they model their friendship-expertise in real time, offering Tim advice on a recent friend-breakup of his own, and they make a case for why friendship might be the antidote to America's “loneliness epidemic.” “I consider our deep friendship sort of an extension of family… We share values, we share goals and community,” Matt Ritter says.

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Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo are comedians, screenwriters, and best friends for almost 40 years. They co-host the “Man of the Year" podcast where they help listeners make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and build lifelong social fitness. You can check out the show on Youtube or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to Protect Black Mental Health Now Nov 20, 2024

As a college student majoring in psychology, Dr. Rheeda Walker quickly discovered her calling after recognizing Black people were largely absent in her field. “People who looked like me didn't seem to be represented in the psychology texts. Not in the theories, not in the stories, not in the hypotheses, not in anything,” she says. Today, as a licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Walker focuses on suicidal ideation and the prevention of suicide and the urgency it has in Black mental health.

In 2016, she noticed a troubling pattern. Research showed that the suicide rate among 5 to 11 year old Black children exceeded the rate of white kids at the same age. Additionally, while suicide rates for white children declined, they'd actually increased for Black children. When these statistics only worsened through repeated studies, Dr. Walker knew that she had to act.

In 2020, she wrote a book called “The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health” arguing that “in this era of discrimination, invisibility, and psychological warfare, Black people need so much more than mental health or well-being. They need an impermeable web of protection for [their minds].” Dr. Walker calls this "psychological fortitude” and she believes it goes beyond serving individuals. “It's about healing the community…then we're able to not just heal ourselves, but maybe be a model for a larger society,”Dr. Walker says.

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Dr. Rheeda Walker is a licensed clinical psychologist, psychology professor at Wayne State University, and author of several books including “The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health.” You can find more of her work on her website rheedawalkerphd.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Practice Episode: How to Manage Our Fearful Thoughts with Byron Katie Nov 13, 2024

In 1986, after two marriages, three children and a successful career, Byron Katie found herself in a downward spiral. She was so depressed she could barely leave the house and her family walked on eggshells around her. After years of feeling hopeless and isolated, she enrolled in a halfway house to get some help. And one day while she was there, she had an epiphany: our thoughts are so powerful they can create a painful reality that doesn’t actually exist. This breakthrough provided the foundation for “The Work” or self-inquiry, a simple four-step technique.

Byron Katie models this practice, guiding Tim from anxious thoughts about the future into the beautiful reality of the present. “A fearful mind is a dangerous mind,” Byron Katie says, “so when I question what I was believing, then it shifts my world.” She says that practicing the work “leaves you freer to do important things in the world” by helping you live with an open mind ready to “love the world without conditions.”

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Byron Katie is a self-taught practitioner, speaker, and bestselling author of “Loving What Is.” You can visit her website thework.com to find her book, her podcast, and upcoming events.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Unconditional Love Helps Us Recover from Our Deepest Wounds Nov 06, 2024

We’ve all been wounded (some more than others) and “we’re all in need of recovery,” Killian Noe says. After four decades of working with people healing from all kinds of addictions, she has found that the most powerful support we can offer is a caring community where people can show up fully as themselves, without judgment.

In 2003 in Seattle, Killian co-founded Recovery Cafe, a community center that provides everything from meals to barista training to medical care to people in recovery. Guided by the truth that every human being is precious and worthy of love, the cafes appoint “ministers of presence” whose focus isn’t to fix the person in front of them but to sit with them and listen to their story. Killian talks with Tim about how presence shows up in her own life, guiding him through what she calls “a practice of return to unconditional love,” an exercise that helps her deal with shame, anger, and pain. “At any point in the day, [I can] return to that place of unconditional love… where my true identity lies,” Killian says.

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Killian Noe is the founding director of Recovery Cafe. Before starting Recovery Café in 2004 with Ruby Takushi, Killian co-founded Samaritan Inns, a nonprofit in Washington, D.C. which provides transitional and longer-term drug- and alcohol-free, community-oriented housing for people recovering from homelessness, addiction, and other mental health challenges. She has written about Samaritan Inns in Finding Our Way Home and about Recovery Café in Descent Into Love.

Learn how to bring a Recovery Cafe to your town or city at recoverycafenetwork.org. Killian’s team will provide the training, support and all of the community you need.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cultivating Connection Amidst Division Oct 30, 2024

On his hit shows “On the Road with Steve Hartman” and “Kindness 101,” CBS News correspondent Steve Hartman shines a light on the extraordinary human beings he meets across the country, the nuggets of wisdom they share, and the compassionate actions they take in response to the needs of those around them: a girl raising money to grant ‘wishes’ for local nursing home residents, popular kids ensuring students on the fringes never have to eat lunch alone, or a man who simply takes the time to sit and listen to his neighbors. “We all need examples,” Steve says, “We can't just be told to do these things. We need to see people doing them and see the results that they earn before we can really want to internalize it and make it part of our lives.”

In moments when the country feels especially divided–like this election year–Steve’s secret is that he refuses to dwell in negativity. He believes that focusing instead on the very best in humanity, one story at a time, especially in news coverage, is the key to finding our way back to one another. “You put seeds out there and they may not grow right away. A seed can sit in the soil for 20 years and still come up,” Steve says, “Changing our course starts with empathy…and helping others.”

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Steve Hartman has been a CBS News correspondent for almost thirty years. He’s best known for his weekly feature segment “On the Road With Steve Hartman” modeled after the late, great newsman Charles Kuralt’s long-running series of the same name. On the show, Steve shares heartfelt stories about the incredible people he meets as he travels around the country. With the help of two of his kids, Meryl and Emmett, he hosts a segment called “Kindness 101,” airing weekly on CBS Mornings. They cover everything from purpose, altruism, gratitude, and empathy. Stories that are now being used to teach character in classrooms all around the world.

You can find more of Steve’s work on CBSNews.com and watch his stories from On the Road and Kindness 101 on the CBS Evening News and CBS Mornings YouTube channels.

Watch the stories mentioned in this episode:

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Special Olympics Gold Medalist on Authenticity and Play Oct 23, 2024

Before running 26 marathons and winning 6 gold medals in the Special Olympics, Loretta Claiborne dealt with a lot of anger. She was bullied for her intellectual disability by both her peers and teachers. But when Loretta discovered running, she found a way to process her emotions as well as a community where she was cherished. She compares discovering her identity as an athlete to finding a new pair of pants that fit perfectly. Loretta believes that teamwork and play have a spiritual quality, one that can bring us together. “Everybody says, ‘Oh, we're all the same.’ We're not all the same. We are different. But it doesn't matter, we have a common bond,” Loretta says.

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Loretta Claiborne is runner, motivational speaker, and Special Olympics Athlete. You can find out more about her work at lorettaclaiborne.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Simon Sinek Believes that Idealism Belongs In the Workplace Oct 16, 2024

Simon Sinek’s mission is to figure out how to build a world where we’re more connected to each other through shared purpose and service. His research, which included studying businesses around the country and being embedded in the military, has brought Simon to some surprisingly simple truths. “Every single person who is at work is a human being,” he told Tim. “And it turns out all human beings want the exact same things. They want to feel seen. They want to feel heard. They want to feel understood. They want to feel like they're a part of something bigger than themselves.”

His TED Talks have been seen by millions of people, and his book “Leaders Eat Last” is a bestseller. But his approach isn’t complicated. He told Tim that if we treat people better, they’ll be more engaged and ready to treat other people better, too. That ripple effect could have world-changing possibilities. “I believe in idealism. And if you want to call me naive, I think every idealist on the planet is naive. We're so stupid to believe that we can actually build a better world… Idealism is naive. That is the exact point.”

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Simon Sinek is an author and host of the podcast "A Bit of Optimism". You can find out more about his work at his website: simonsinek.com

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Practice Episode: Taking Off Our Masks through Confession with Fr. Mike Schmitz Oct 09, 2024

It’s hard to admit when we’ve failed. What if we’re judged? What if our shame is too heavy to bear? Or what if we’re seen as unlovable because of what we’ve done? Father Mike Schmitz believes that in order to be loved, we need to take that risk and show others our true selves, flaws included. “As long as I hold the mask on,” he told Tim, “...as long as I say this is the version of me that I want others to see, [that] I want God to see… We will never let ourselves be loved.” As a Catholic priest, Fr. Schmitz sees the act of confession, also called reconciliation, as an opportunity to let go of shame and to let another person (and God) see your whole self, the good and the bad. “What reconciliation is meant to be is not only… reconciled to God, but also reconciled to the community.”

In this practice episode, we explore why the act of confession is an important practice for Catholics, and why it is a vital skill for all of us to learn.

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Fr. Mike Schmitz is the director of Youth and Young Adult Ministry for the Diocese of Duluth and Chaplain for the Newman Center at the University of Minnesota-Duluth. He hosts "The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast" and "The Bible in a Year" podcast. You can find out more at: bulldogcatholic.com

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Israeli and Palestinian Peace Activists Share How They Maintain Friendships by Working Through Disagreement Oct 02, 2024

How do you stay in relationship with someone when you deeply disagree? Especially when the stakes are high? For Aziz Abu Sarah, Robi Damelin, and Yonatan Zeigen, Palestinian and Israeli peace activists, the answer lies in finding humor and empathy in each other’s stories, and not avoiding the hard conversations, especially when it comes to the areas that they do agree on: an end to violence in their region, justice and equality. “I think to have an equal relationship is something very hard… because we live in an unequal reality, ” Aziz told Tim. “There is still an occupation, an occupier and an occupied.”

Aziz, Robi and Yonatan met through their work with The Parents Circle, which brings together Israelis and Palestinians who have lost loved ones due to violence and are pushing for peace in the region. Robi lost her son, Aziz his brother, and Yonatan his mother, Vivian, who was murdered in her home on October 7th, 2023. Even though loss brought them together, their sense of humor keeps them connected. They joke around. They tease each other. In fact, as they told Tim, being able to laugh together is essential to how they build bonds and maintain relationships while doing the difficult work of peacebuilding.

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You can find more about The Parents Circle Families Forum at their website: parentscirclefriends.org. You can find Aziz’s work at: AzizAbuSarah.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Michael and Nicole Phelps Unlearned the Fear of Losing Sep 30, 2024

Michael and Nicole Phelps are experienced competitors – and winners. In 2010, Nicole won Miss California USA, and Michael is the most decorated Olympian of all time, with 28 Olympic Medals (23 of those gold). But the Phelps also know that winning sometimes comes at a cost.

In 2014, Michael hit an all-time low in his struggle with mental health, but he found the courage to seek help. Michael checked himself into The Meadows, a residential treatment facility in the desert of Arizona, where he spent 45 days, addressing his depression and anxiety. Michael often felt like he couldn’t talk about his struggles while competing as a swimmer, but the tools he learned in treatment helped him bounce back even stronger than before. In 2015, Phelps opened up about his mental health challenges, becoming one of the first and most prominent athletes to do so. “My last go at the Olympics, it was completely different…I was basically just like, I don't care. I'm going to share and I'm going to be vulnerable. And to me it almost felt like a superpower.”

Michael’s focus on vulnerability was not only the catalyst to his healing but it also helped restore his relationship with his then girlfriend, now wife, Nicole. Today, as strong advocates for mental health, together they’ve learned to balance high achievement with emotional well-being and embrace both wins and losses. Nicole says they use these skills to instill a sense of resilience in their four young boys. “Please don't ever hand our children a participation trophy, because that's not how we function in this house. There is winning and there is losing. And we have to be able to understand both because you're gonna come out from both still alive, still safe, still breathing.”

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Michael and Nicole Phelps are experienced competitors and advocates for mental health. Find out more about the wonderful work they’re doing in the world of sports and mental health by visiting their website: michaelphelpsfoundation.org.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Min Jin Lee Wants You To Know How Much She Loves You Sep 30, 2024

Author Min Jin Lee’s novels have received accolades and awards, but they’ve also gotten some horrified responses from readers. “They would cite a page where something really terrible happened to one of my characters,” she said. “I've had people tweet at me, like, ‘@minjinlee, what the f**k?’”

Lee’s characters may sometimes suffer horribly, but her writing is fueled by tenderness. “I'm going to sound so strange for saying this, but I want you to know how much I love you,” she told Tim. “I want people to know how much I love my characters and how much I love my reader.”

Even though the worlds she creates are not friendly, sanitized places, her novels are still full of beauty and empathy. Lee takes on big political questions about discrimination, assimilation, and racism. Her characters are often overlooked and oppressed. The goal is to touch readers’ hearts, so maybe, just maybe, they’ll want to be better people. It’s not an easy task. Lee says it’s already hard enough to tell a good story. “And then, somehow, can I get you to do the right thing? Ooh, gosh, that's even tougher, right?” In this episode, Lee talks with Tim about how she’s able to walk the fine line between writing complicated moral lessons and preaching at us

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Min Jin Lee is the author of “Free Food for Millionaires” and “Pachinko”. You can find out more about Min Jin Lee’s work at her website: minjinlee.com

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rainn Wilson On Finding Unity in Spirituality Sep 30, 2024

When life gets overwhelming and hard, where do you turn? Rainn Wilson–best known as Dwight Schrute, the ambitious, beet-loving paper salesman on The Office–turns to “the notorious G-O-D.” Rainn’s parents raised him in the Baha’i faith and he put it aside in his 20s when he was a struggling actor exploring life in NYC. Years later, after finding success in Hollywood, he realized fame was not enough to calm his anxieties nor soothe the longing in his soul. So Rainn turned inward, returning to the Baha’i faith and discovering the value that spirituality brings to us as individuals and as a community. This “spiritual revolution,” is one that Rainn sees as containing multiple religions and faith traditions, where spiritual tools such as prayer and meditation can go hand in hand. Instead of “throwing the spiritual baby out with the religious bathwater,” as Rainn says, collectively engaging with matters of the soul will help us all find strength and deeper meaning when faced with the highs and lows of life.

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Rainn Wilson is an actor, comedian, podcast host and author of the New York Times bestseller Soul Boom: Why We Need A Spiritual Revolution. You can listen to Rainn every Tuesday on his podcast, Soul Boom, available wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Need A Lift with Tim Shriver Trailer Aug 26, 2024

We’re living in a time where disunity has taken a toll on our spirit. And now more than ever, we need connection.

As chair of Special Olympics International, as a social leader of healing from our divisions, and a key figure in the field of social and emotional learning in education, Tim Shriver has dedicated his life to serving others and building community, with the faith that we can make a greater difference if we work together. Tim believes the BEST way to connect is at the soul level – where we find each other’s dignity and meet each other as we are.

On his new podcast “Need A Lift?” Tim invites world-changers to share the spiritual practices and rituals that sustain and allow them to transform some of the most painful moments in their lives into purpose.

“Need A Lift?” premieres on September 30th wherever you listen to podcasts!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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