Stay ConnectedComedians Langston Kerman and David Gborie take a deep dive into the most exciting, groundbreaking and sometimes problematic Black conspiracy theories. They’ll have guests cover silly conspiracies, scary conspiracies and conspiracies they learned from that uncle who used to wear jeans when he went swimming in the public pool.
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Does a man’s choice of facial hair expose his personality? Langston and David sit down to answer a handful of voicemails, including one about how men choose to adorn their faces betray the content of their souls.
0:00 Intro: Jamaican patois teacher
16:13 Voicemail 1: Cannibalism FIFA
21:25 Voicemail 2: Black people are not Native Americans
27:05 The biracial experience, revisited
34:30 Voicemail 3: Stripper names could be nicknames
42:01 Voicemail 4: Men’s facial hair reveal their character
50:06 Voicemail 5: Sucking on breasts enlarges them
55:05 Other mammals’ genitals
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Are people with dwarfism being harmed for the sake of advancing cosmetic surgeries? Langston and David are joined by actor-comedian Denny Love to discuss truly one of the craziest theories ever put forth in the history of this podcast.
0:00 Cold Open: Black Happy Birthday
4:12 Almost soiling your pants
12:11 Yelling out of the car
18:29 Intro: Soundboard shenanigans
24:48 Conspiracy theory: Little people are being targetted for BBL research
43:43 Is this theory…hate speech?
50:19 What the “research” says
57:52 Nicknames, reprised
1:01:35 Voicemail: Yung Miami is kid-maxxing
1:05:43 Bathroom emergencies, revisited
Check out Langston’s mom’s Etsy store:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/MamaGiasStuff
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Is the government dangling confirmation of human contact with aliens to divert our attention from more pressing matters? Langston and David are joined by actor Malcolm Barrett to discuss how convenient the timing of alien news is for those in power as well as the possibility of extraterrestrial life at large.
0:00 Cold open: The lore of Yakub
2:59 Have you ever been dunked on?
6:38 The art of the scam
9:38 Intro: The term “wifey”
21:30 Pop-a-shot at home
28:31 David is anti-whimsy
40:18 Conspiracy theory: They’re trying to distract us with aliens
48:01 Coolest American presidents
56:52 Would aliens even want to meet us?
1:01:45 Asian people with non-American accents
1:07:57 Are we too free here?
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Is there something deeper and darker behind the way some white folks relate with animals? Langston and David sit down to respond to listeners’ voicemails and emails, including one about the power dynamics between white people and their pets.
0:00 Avatar is mid
4:34 Doing bits with loved ones
9:39 Langston acquires a new nickname!
13:11 Voicemail 1: The Love Island men receive help
21:35 Voicemail 2: Investi-gay-tion
40:39 Email: White people and their pets
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Was the panic around lettuce-related explosive diarrhea fomented to make us turn on immigrant farmers? Langston and David are joined by actor/comedian Orlando Jones to answer four (4) voicemails sent in by the Lil’ Mommas, including one about the recent iceberg lettuce scare.
0:00 Intro: Bad slave dealerships
9:08 Autobiographies
16:14 Good Black stereotypes and demon possession
25:32 Voicemail 1: Biracial eugenics
35:02 Voicemail 2: Langston’s idiosyncratic noises
37:46 Voicemail 3: Don’t trust school tests
50:42 Voicemail 4: Is the lettuce-diarrhea parasite for real?
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Are they leading our species to extinction because we’re having too much fun? Langston and David sit down with the ageless Mariah Smith to discuss the end of the world as we know it and how to cope with that.
0:00 Cold open: Sports vs theater
3:22 Intro: Aspirations and checkpoints
11:01 How old is Mariah?
15:20 Conspiracy: They want the planet to die
21:53 Mariah’s favorite is…Ed Sheeran?
31:10 Getting cryogenically frozen
38:45 How long do we have as a species?
42:38 (Hypothetical) deceitfulness as a way of life
49:38 Voicemail: Civilization dies in comfort
55:23 Compulsive lying for sport, reprised
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Are shady powers behind the once-viral mobile game Pokémon GO? Langston and David are joined by guitarist and former Pokémon GO player Brian Robert Jones to discuss the possibility that the popular game was harnessed for wicked purposes.
0:00 Cold open: Steppers, criminality, racial slurs
6:48 Intro: David’s treasonous ways
10:57 Smokey Robinson trying to pronounce Chanukah
20:10 Jar Jar Binks (!!!)
28:25 Conspiracy: Pokémon GO was a CIA plant
44:50 Slavery was the big lick
51:57 Fandom, fame, fitness, fishing
1:13:31 Homemade wine and new cocktail technology
1:19:30 Boundaries between teachers and students
1:25:34 Being tracked by the Apple Watch
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Has the biblical serpent Leviathan risen? Langston and David are joined by comedian Kiry Shabazz to discuss the scenarios in which we can eat, or be eaten by, the mythical sea beast. Then, they answer a listener voicemail about Terrence Howard’s porn habits.
0:00 Using the car back-up camera
7:10 Rappers acting as themselves in movies
12:20 Why the American accents in ‘The Odyssey’?
18:30 Denzel as a gateway into Shakespeare
27:45 Intro: The new soundboard
34:20 Smokey Robinson promoting (?) the gang life
37:15 The whimsical Baltimore accent
42:45 British rap…nah
49:00 What happened to white music culture?
54:15 Conspiracy: The Leviathan has risen
1:02:40 Do you worry that the Leviathan will eat you?
1:04:55 The unbelievable Langston car accident story
1:11:43 Voicemail: Terrence Howard watches incest porn
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What does it say about America that we're obsessed with a deformed raccoon? Langston and David are joined by the brilliant actress Bresha Webb (Run the World, Marlon) to discuss Jimothy the internet sensation as well as answer a voicemail about the lost artifacts of slavery.
0:00 Cold open: Ranch and barbecue sauce
2:27 Jimothy the raccoon
8:40 The struggles of a no-neck existence
17:38 Acting roles bleeding into life
31:27 Why’d they name Jimothy slave-style???
35:48 Bigfoot, aliens, and Asian neighbors
52:11 Listener voicemail: Where are all the slave ships?
1:00:26 White people practicing whips
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Do cannibals live amongst us? Could we be unwittingly partaking in such a horrifying act? Langston and David explore the possibility of human meat consumption in our present and/or future. Then, they respond to an email about Big Soda potentially suppressing upstart beverage brands.
0:00 Cold open: Nicknames as an adult
11:05 Are we post-Julia Roberts as a society?
15:32 Conspiracy theory: We are already cannibals
32:34 A brief Jackie Chan detour
37:46 How would eating people even work?
43:25 How are the men on Love Island not hard all the time?
53:33 Listener email: Tropical Fantasy rumor
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