Modern Love

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Latest Episodes:

Trapped in a Romance Scam Jun 02, 2021

Show notes

Last spring, Michael McAllister’s inbox started filling up with messages from heartbroken women. “I thought you were the man,” one wrote. “Embarrassing, but I kinda became obsessed with ‘you,’” another said. Michael discovered that his photos were being used to catfish women on dating apps — from Germany to Brazil to Chicago.

Today’s story explores a global dating scam (that’s still going on, by the way) and the pandemic-fueled loneliness of digital life. Also, we hear from two women who were duped by Michael’s impostor. One of them shares a trick for determining whether or not a dating prospect is real. Click here for more info on the episode.

Featured Story:

“How I Got Caught Up in a Global Romance Scam" by Michael McAllister

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Meet Cute at Zero Years Old May 26, 2021

Show notes

Kadine Christie’s birth story is one that has been told to her time and again. She was born in the mountain town of Spalding, Jamaica, in the presence of two women: her mother, Lorna, and a stranger, Lurline, who was going into labor in the same open ward. This is a story that feels like fiction, but is far from it. It has high stakes, unexpected connections and a surprising ending. Something astonishing — even magical — was born in that maternity ward 40 years ago. Tune in to learn why Kadine’s birth story is also her love story.

You can find more info on today's episode here.

Featured Stories:

“I Met My Husband on the Maternity Ward,” by Kadine Christie
“An Unexpected Sign” by Sarah Reynolds Westin

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She Left Me There May 19, 2021

Show notes

Kacey Vu Shap had no desire to return to the Vietnamese orphanage of his youth. As a child, whenever he told people he was adopted, he would say that he came “premade” — that he spontaneously appeared one day at the Baltimore airport, greeted by a new family bearing flowers and kisses. “It was easier to sanitize my story by speaking only of my life as Kacey, who was loved and wanted, than to tell people of my life as Vu, who was abandoned and undesired,” Kacey wrote in his Modern Love essay. Nearly 25 years later, Kacey found himself back at the orphanage with his three best friends and a newfound understanding of what form love can take.

You can find more info on today's episode here.

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Why Do People Get Married? May 12, 2021

Show notes

Welcome to our season premiere. Seven years into a serious relationship, Jake Maynard got a text from his mother: “Gramma Gert: 3, Jake: 0.” This was her way of telling him that his grandmother, in her 80s, was getting married for the third time, while Jake remained unmarried and childless in his late 20s. His family found this strange. Stranger still, at least in Jake’s view, was his grandmother’s choice of partner. (You’ll have to listen to the episode.) Today, we explore how two generations of the same family — 50 years apart — grapple with identity, tangled kin and the loaded question of marriage.

You can find more info on today's episode here.

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What the Silence Said Dec 23, 2020

Show notes

When Laura and her husband divorced after two decades of marriage, their “little Colorado mountain town” could barely tell. It was quiet compared to the dramatic natural disasters that were afflicting the area — like flooding and wildfires. There were no raised voices, no feelings of fury.

So why did they split? In the lead-up to their divorce, Laura had a revelation about what good love — the kind that will “survive life” — is supposed to sound like.

Featured stories:

“No Sound, No Fury, No Marriage," by Laura Pritchett
“Silence Is Its Own Answer," by Jennifer Byrne

Laura's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

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‘Desire Is Never the Mistake’ Dec 16, 2020

Show notes

This holiday season, it’s OK to want more. Paula grew up in foster care, and year after year she would find herself “clobbered by desire” when the holidays rolled around. She longed for a mother and father to rescue her and “make everything better”; she wished for the hip-huggers and games she saw on TV.

When she was 21, she met a man named Jeff who ruptured this annual cycle of desire. He became the inspiration for a hard-earned Christmas lesson.

Featured stories:

“The Holiday of My Dreams Was Just That,” by Paula McLain
“A Sweet Reminder,” by Meg Christman

Paula's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

You can find more information on today's episode here.

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With the Help of Strangers Dec 09, 2020

Show notes

This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence.

In 2013, Courtney Queeney published an essay about surviving domestic violence and the legal proceedings that followed. She described going to a courthouse every two weeks to renew her emergency protection order against her ex. It was during this period that she found “scattered bright spots” — things to laugh about when everything seemed unfunny. She found comfort in the woman who shared her court schedule; her lawyer, whom she revered; and the judge who made her crack up.

Today, we hear about how Courtney has worked through the experience and aftermath of her abuse — and where is she now.

Featured stories:

“The View From the Victim Room,” by Courtney Queeney
“Held by String,” by Eliza Rudalevige

Courtney's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

You can find more information on today's episode here.

New York Times subscribers are invited to join the hosts of Modern Love on Dec. 15 for an evening celebrating the new “Tiny Love Stories” book. RSVP here.

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A Lifetime of Good Loving Dec 02, 2020

Show notes

When Bette met her husband, he was leaning against a wall at a party. He had, as she put it, “smoldering looks and banked fires.” He was from Brooklyn; she was from the Bronx. She assumed his silent “bad boy” vibe meant “dangerous love and dramatic heartbreak.”

They got married, and she realized that she’d misread his quiet demeanor: “His eyes were simply beautiful, and his silence wasn’t fierce; he just didn’t have anything to say at the moment.”

After 56 years together, Bette’s husband passed away on the eve of the pandemic. Bette, now alone, shares what had kept them together all these years, and what their long love means to her now.

Featured stories:

“Widow Walks Into Wall, Finds Hope,” Bette Ann Moskowitz
“Seeing Her in Me,” Alicia Gabe

Bette's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

You can find more information on today's episode here.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Confronting Race on the First Date Nov 18, 2020

Show notes

Andrew and Sarah met on a dating app. Their first date was just supposed to be coffee, but it lasted nine glorious hours. They talked nonstop across four San Francisco neighborhoods.

But by 2 a.m., Sarah had an admission to make. She told Andrew, who is Asian-American, that his “race might be an issue.” Andrew was shocked. The kicker? Sarah is also Asian-American.

Today, we hear both sides of this story — and find out where Sarah and Andrew are now.

Featured stories:

“When a Dating Dare Leads to Months of Soul Searching,” Andrew Lee
“Manic Pixie Real Girl,” Jerico Mandybur

Andrew’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

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No More Secrets Nov 11, 2020

Show notes

Sarah and Liz met on a blind date in New York City. Sarah ordered a club soda with a splash of cranberry juice. Liz ordered wine — twice.

A few weeks into dating, while taking a walk together through Chelsea Market, a feeling crystallized for Liz: “I knew in the way seasons change that I would love her before this one ended.”

In order to make this work, Liz knew she could no longer hide from Sarah that she had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

But six weeks after they got married, Liz hit a wall. She found herself in an airport, en route to Milan, tempted by a cold escape.

Featured stories:

“Flying Close to Temptation," Liz Parker
“What Love Feels Like," E.J. Schwartz

Liz's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

You can find more information on today's episode here.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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