Minds and Mics

The Imperfectionist Mindset with Oliver Burkeman Oct 18, 2024

In this episode of Minds & Mics, Nick chats with author Oliver Burkeman about the imperfectionist mindset and how this counterintuitive idea can help with everything from perfectionism and indecisiveness to procrastination and imposter syndrome.

💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTER
The Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter/

📙 OLIVER'S BOOK
Meditations for Mortals: https://www.oliverburkeman.com

EPISODE TOPICS

The Problem with Self-Improvement
Function Follows Form
What Is Imperfectionism?
The Oliver Burkeman Thesis Statement
Synthesizing the Achiever and the Enjoyer
Oliver's 4-Hour Workday Experiment
The Virtues of Deliberate Constraint
The Psychology of Indecisiveness and Overwhelm
Daily-ish as the Antidote to Perfectionism
Scruffy Hospitality as the Antidote to Imposter Syndrome

How to Reduce Anxiety by Regulating Your Nervous System with Jonny Miller Oct 06, 2024

Jonny Miller shares his favorite exercise and techniques to lower chronic anxiety by regulating your nervous system.

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The Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/

😇 NICK'S ANXIETY COURSE
Creating Calm: https://nickwignall.com/creating-calm

🫁 JONNY'S COURSE
Nervous System Mastery: https://www.nsmastery.com

6 Expert Tips for Overcoming Social Anxiety with Emma McAdam Jun 07, 2024

Psychologist Nick Wignall and therapist Emma McAdam share their favorite tips for overcoming social anxiety.

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The Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/

⚒️ LINKS & RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE
→ Painfully Shy by Barbara and Gregory Markway https://www.amazon.com/Painfully-Shy-Overcome-Anxiety-Reclaim/dp/0312316232
→ The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson https://www.amazon.com/Assertiveness-Workbook-Express-Yourself-Relationships/dp/1648480276/
→ Emma's Anxiety Course: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/anxietyskills
→ Nick's Anxiety Course: https://nickwignall.com/creating-calm/

The End of Trauma with Dr. George Bonanno Mar 18, 2024

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with trauma and resilience researcher Dr. George Bonanno.

Show Notes:

How to think clearly about trauma and PTSD
Common misconceptions about trauma
The resilience paradox
The problem with the PTSD diagnosis
Trauma concept creep
How to develop resilience (The flexibility sequence)
The end of trauma?
Lisa Feldman Barret
Mechanisms underlying beneficial effects of exercise on mood and emotional health

Learn more about Dr. Bonanno and his work here:

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Better Sleep for High-Achievers with Dr. Daniel Erichsen Mar 12, 2024

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Dr. Daniel Erichsen about better sleep for high-achievers.

Navigating Big Feelings Well with Liz Fosslien May 07, 2022

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Liz Fosslien about her new book, Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay. We cover topics like perfectionism vs healthy striving, the difference between envy and jealousy, burnout and the Amazon Zen Booth, revenge bedtime procrastination, and the role of personal responsibility in mental health.

Show Notes

The dark side of “coping” with difficult feelings
No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work
Jealousy vs envy
Benign vs malicious envy
The role of personal responsibility in mental health
The Amazon Zen Booth
How organizations can actually help foster well-being and resilience
The relationships between burnout and self-awareness
Why setting boundaries is so hard (and how to make it a little easier)
Revenge bedtime procrastination
Emotional opportunity cost
Perfectionism and self-kindness
Healthy striving vs perfectionism
The benefits of playfulness

Learn more about Liz and her work here:

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Psychological Flexibility with Steve Hayes May 07, 2022

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Dr. Steve Hayes, the founder of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT). We talk about everything from the importance of psychological flexibility and emotional tolerance to the future of psychotherapy and what to look for in a great therapist.

Show Notes

Psychological flexibility
Psychological rigidity
Social anxiety and panic attacks
Where does self-judgment and negative self-talk come from?
The psychological function of religion and wisdom traditions
Emotional tolerance
3rd wave behavior therapy, process-based therapy, and the future of psychotherapy
What to look for in a good therapist
2nd wave humanistic therapy

Learn more about Steve and his work here:

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Reclaiming Your Ambition with Michael Bungay Stanier Feb 25, 2022

In the latest episode of Minds & Mics, I chatted with Michael Bungay Stanier about his new book How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters and a range of topics, including the obligation we all have to be "doubly ambitious," why SMART goals aren't usually very smart, the case for working in 6-week cycles, and the genius of cartoonist Gary Larson.

Show Notes

What makes a book useful?
The Coaching Habit
Being “doubly ambitious”
How to think about overwhelm: realistic, consistent, grace
Working in 6-week cycles
Why Michael hates SMART goals
Should we follow our passion?
Relaxing into commitment
Prizes and punishments of maintaining the status quo
The Call of the Wild (Gary Larson)
The value of the humble pros and cons list

Learn more about Michael and his work here:

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Using Technology to Build Emotional Intelligence with Kai Koch Dec 11, 2021

Kai Koch is the co-founder of ahead, which is a software company and app for building emotional intelligence. We talk about the opportunities and challenges for technology in emotional health, self-awareness, emotional intelligence in organizations, and what the future of technology-assisted emotional health might look like.

Show Notes

The unique benefits of mobile technology for emotional health
Making self-awareness social
Making personal growth social
Emotional granularity
Emotional intelligence in organizations
The future of technology for emotional health

Learn more about Kai and his work here:

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Better Sleep for New Moms with Dr. Jade Wu Nov 21, 2021

Sleep psychologist Dr. Jade Wu returns to the show to talk specifically about sleep issues for new moms, including what’s normal and what should be addressed professionally, how sleep and postpartum depression interact, intrusive thoughts and anxiety, and some practical tips for new moms to get their sleep back on track.

Show Notes

How sleep changes in pregnancy and postpartum
Sleep deprivation vs circadian disruptions
Types of sleep disturbances that predict postpartum depression
Tips for minimizing sleep issues as a new parent
How much to nap as a new mom
What old-school pediatricians get wrong about sleep with new babies
Parasomnias in pregnancy and postpartum
Exploding head syndrome
Sleep paralysis
Postpartum anxiety
REM rebound and nightmares
Intrusive thoughts
Sleep apnea and sleep-disordered breathing
Poor sleep and postpartum depression

Learn more about Jade and her work here:

Website: JadeWuPHD.com
Twitter: @jadewuphd

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Rethinking Sleep Health with Dr. Jade Wu Nov 05, 2021

Jade and I chat about uncommon sleep misconceptions, how to deal with nightmares, intergenerational sleep trauma, the problem with sleep hygiene, and the message about sleep Jade wants carved on her gravestone.

Show Notes

Uncommon sleep myths and misconceptions
My other chat about sleep myths with Dr. Daniel Erichsen
Better Sleep with insomnia coach Martin Reed
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)
Conditioned arousal
Bed time vs rise time
How much deep sleep do you actually need?
What causes nightmares?
The behavioral model of nightmares and imagery rehearsal therapy
Parasomnias
Sleep and social justice
Intergenerational sleep trauma
The problem with sleep hygiene
Tired vs sleepy
The message about sleep Jade wants carved on her gravestone

Learn more about Jade and her work here:

Website: JadeWuPHD.com
Twitter: @jadewuphd

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Raising Indistractable Kids with Nir Eyal Oct 01, 2021

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with author Nir Eyal about the relationship between technology use and wellbeing among children, parenting in the age of social media, and the virtues of getting out of your kids’ way.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

Common misconceptions about kids and technology use
Why screen time is a pointless metric
What’s really behind increased rates of suicide and depression among kids?
The mental health benefits of technology
Root vs proximate cause of technology overuse
Psychological nutrients
Deci and Ryan’s self-determination theory
The importance of free play
The Gardener and the Carpenter by Alison Gropnik
Variable reinforcement
Play Anything by Ian Bogost
Mindset by Carol Dweck
Why consistent family meals are so important
Implementation intentions and timeboxing

You can learn more about Nir and his work here:

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The Metacognitive Way Through Overthinking with Pia Callesen Aug 28, 2021

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with psychologist and author Pia Callesen about overthinking and the metacognitive approach to emotional struggles like anxiety and depression.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

What is overthinking, exactly?
Types of overthinking
The 2 reasons why we overthink
The difference between anxious and depressive overthinking
Overthinking as a universal mechanism for emotional suffering
Scheduled overthinking
Metacognitive Therapy vs traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Metacognitive Therapy vs Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
The busy train station metaphor
The windowpane experiment
The problem with coping skills
How will psychotherapy be different in 50 years?

You can learn more about Pia and her work here:

Pia’s website
Pia’s book: Live More Think Less: Overcoming Depression and Sadness with Metacognitive Therapy
Pia’s article on overthinking in Psyche: How to Stop Overthinking

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Reckless Parenting and Authentic Self-Care with Rosie Sherry Aug 28, 2021

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with my friend Rosie Sherry about how she made the news for being a "reckless" parent, her distinctive approach to unschooling her kids, authenticity and vulnerability on social media, and what it means to practice self-care as a full-time community builder and mother of five.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

Unschooling
The struggle to treat each child as they need
How Rosie thinks about self-care
Dealing with self-care guilt, especially as a mom
Barriers to women and mom breaking into the world of IndieHacking
How to encourage communities to be more vulnerable
Surprising things Rosie as a creator struggles with
Encouraging authenticity over cleverness on social media
Rosie’s advice to follow visions and missions, not people

You can learn more about Rosie and her work here:

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Managing Creative Overwhelm with Jay Clouse Aug 08, 2021

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with Jay Clouse, the creator and host of one of my favorite podcasts, Creative Elements. Jay and I get into the details of creative overwhelm and burnout and how Jay manages it.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

What does overwhelm actually look like for Jay?
Hard works as a response to feeling overwhelmed
Respect for deadlines as a core part of Jay’s identity
Jay’s approach to “de-scoping” his schedule and task list to combat overwhelm
Underestimating the maintenance cost of evergreen products
The investment banker and the fisherman
How does Jay think about work-life balance and what enough looks like?
Why it’s so hard to say no and let go?
Cultural pressure to keep doing more and never let go
How Jay thinks about self-care and what it looks like when the “red light” is flashing.
What it looks like to really show up emotionally for important people in his life.
Has being a podcaster and community builder made Jay a better listener in his personal life?
Jays biggest insecurity as a creator

You can learn more about Jay and his work here:

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Existential Time Management with Oliver Burkeman Aug 01, 2021

Oliver Burkeman joins me to talk about the problem with the narrow concept of time management and how we mere mortals ought to think about managing our time instead.

Show Notes

Time management for 4-year-olds
The narrow vs broad meaning of time management
The importance trap and the temptation to “clear the decks”
Anti-skills, negative capability, and the superpower that is emotional tolerance
The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking
Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic
The relationship between expectations and control
David Kane’s Raptitude
Weirdly modern conceptions of time
Meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein
Are all expectations unhealthy?
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
The case for wasting time and atelic activities
Oliver’s to-do list recommendations
Cal Newport’s Deep Work
James Hollis’ Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life
Susan Jeffers' Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and Embracing Uncertainty
What’s wrong with the self-help genre?
The wounded healer
Jesse Singal and cranky self-help
David Brook’s The Second Mountain
Marilynne Robinson
“Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?”
Douglas Harding’s On Having No Head
Seneca’s On the Shortness of Life
Mary Oliver: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Learn more about Oliver and his work here:

Oliver’s book: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
Oliver’s website and (excellent) weekly newsletter: OliverBurkeman.com

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Emotional Processing with Emma McAdam Jun 13, 2021

Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as the host of the popular YouTube channel, Therapy in a Nutshell. In today's episode, Emma and I talk about emotional processing and the most important ideas and skills we can learn to manage painful feelings in a healthy and productive way.

Show Notes

What is emotional processing?
Why is emotional processing important?
Wilderness therapy
Why is it so hard to talk about our feelings?
Primary vs secondary emotions
Basic emotional processing skills
Feeling emotions in our bodies
Emotional check-ins
Intellectualizing emotions
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
The importance of willingness
Big Magic and the Fear Monster by Liz Gilbert
Values-based decision-making
The meaning of emotions
Emotional confusion

Learn more about Emma and her work here:

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The Science of Personality Change with Dr. Christian Jarrett May 20, 2021

Dr. Christian Jarrett joins me on the show to discuss the science of personality change and to what extent we can deliberately modify our own personality.

Show Notes

What is personality, exactly?
The Big 5 Theory of Personality
What makes a personality theory valid?
How writing a book changed how Christian sees personality
What are the mechanisms of significant personality shifts?
Personality adaptability
Neuroticism
Are certain personality traits good or bad? Healthy or pathological?
The most underrated principle for effective personality change
Are we really the average of the five people we spend the most time around?
The Michelangelo Effect
Order effects in personality change: Inside out or outside in?

Learn more about Christian and his work here:

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Better Sleep with Insomnia Coach Martin Reed May 16, 2021

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with Martin Reed, a health coach who specializes in helping clients with insomnia and sleep issues.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

Martin’s own struggles with insomnia and how they led him to become an insomnia educator and coach
Coaching vs therapy for insomnia and sleep issues
The dangers of insomnia “communities”
Similarities in what causes insomnia
What makes a case of insomnia “extreme”?
Sleep trauma
The one thing Martin wishes people would do for better sleep health
Misguided cultural messages around sleep
The future of sleep health
Something Martin’s changed his mind about recently about sleep and insomnia
How Martin deals with occasional bouts of poor sleep

You can learn more about Martin and his work here:

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Sensitive Strivers and Imposter Syndrome with Melody Wilding Apr 25, 2021

In this episode of Minds and Mics, I talk with Melody Wilding, a leadership and executive coach who specializes in helping sensitive high-achievers who are tired of getting in their own way, including struggling with imposter syndrome.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

Sensitive strivers
The big 5 personality traits
Dr. Elaine Aron and the highly sensitive person
Is “fake it ‘till you make it” good advice?
Imposter syndrome
- How can parents help their kids avoid developing imposter syndrome?
- How can you get better and genuinely accepting praise and compliments?
- How do I know if imposter syndrome is something I can work through on my own or if it’s something I should get professional help for?
- How does company culture influence imposter syndrome?
- How can we build resilience against imposter syndrome?
Is it a good idea to follow your intuition and your trust your gut?
Is it better to focus on changing your beliefs or your actions?
Should we simply accept negative thoughts and painful feelings or try to examine them?

You can learn more about Melody and her work here:

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The Dangers of Fad Psychology with Jesse Singal Apr 04, 2021

Science journalist Jesse Singal joins me on the show to talk about the dangers of fad psychology, including myths and misconceptions about positive psychology, the self-esteem movement, deceptive media coverage of popular behavioral science research, the replication crisis in academic psychology, and more.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

Jonathan Haidt and moral foundations theory
Misleading statistics and external validity
The problems with self-esteem and the self-esteem movement
Self-efficacy vs Self-esteem
Carol Dweck and growth mindset
Effect size in research
Martin Seligman Positive Psychology
Preventative mental health
Opportunity cost in mental health
Structural factors impacting mental health
Grit
Comprehensive Soldier Fitness
The replication crisis in psychology
The file drawer effect
Falsification
10% Happier by Dan Harris
Positive Thinking for People Who had Positive Thinking by Oliver Burkeman

You can learn more about Jesse and his work here:

The Quick Fix: Why Fad Psychology Can’t Cure Our Social Ills (Book)
JesseSingal.substack.com (Newsletter)
Blocked and Reported (Podcast)

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Designing Better Conversations with Fred Dust Mar 21, 2021

Designer and author Fred Dust joins me on the show to discuss how we can use principles from design to have better, more impactful conversations.

Show Notes

The distinctiveness of podcast conversations
Mission-driven vs exploration-driven conversations
The 3 ways conversations get derailed
The usefulness of constraints in conversation
Adjusting the speed of conversations
The benefits of rehearsing hard conversations
Overcoming self-consciousness in conversation
Wearing jeans in the White House
Environmental design
Behavioral experiments
Active listening vs creative listening
Illuminations
Dealing with being triggered
Self conversation

You can learn more about Fred and his book at his website: MakingConversation.com

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Practical Creativity with Herbert Lui Mar 10, 2021

Nick chats with Herbert Lui about practical ways to exercise your creativity.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

Misconceptions about creativity
The creative process
Nature vs nurture in creativity
Quality vs quantity in creativity
How to get started being more creative?
Creative blocks
Fear of being judged
Creativity and community
Constructive vs destructive comparisons
Why constraints are helpful for creativity
Is quitting important for creativity?

You can learn more about Herbert and his work here:

HerbertLui.net

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The Case for Life Coaching with Dr. Caitlin Faas Feb 14, 2021

Caitlin Faas returns to the show to talk about life coaching—what it is, how it works, how it helps, and common misconceptions.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

How Caitlin went from tenured professor to life coach
Objections to life coaching:
1. Life coaching isn’t legit…
2. If you think you need a life coach, what you really need is a therapist
3. There’s nothing you can get from a life coach that you can’t get from a good friend
4. Life coaches are just snake-oil salesman out to make a quick buck off of vulnerable people
5. Life coaching is too “woo-woo” or new-agey
How to find a life coach who’s a good fit for you
How to know if you need a life coach or a therapist
The dangers of using family and friends as your emotional support person
Can you do coaching and therapy at the same time?
How much does life coaching cost?
How often will I meet with a life coach?
What does a life coaching session look like?
Where to find a life coach?
Is there specific credentialing I should look for with a life coach?

You can learn more about Caitlin and her work here:

DrCaitlinFaas.com

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The Buddhist Way Through Anxiety with Lodro Rinzler Jan 31, 2021

Lodro Rinzler returns to the show to talk about how a Buddhist perspective on anxiety can help us through difficult times.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

Focusing on stories vs anxiety itself
The parable of the second arrow
Anxiety vs worry vs stress
The Three Vajras: Body, Speech, and Mind
Is the popularity of mindfulness a good thing?
Should we try to get rid of negative thinking?
Expressing anxiety vs complaining about it
How to handle other people’s anxiety well
Gentle inquisitiveness
“You are not your anxiety”

You can learn more about Lodro and his work here:

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Exploring the Adaptive Unconscious with Dr. Sarah Sarkis Jan 17, 2021

Dr. Sarah Sarkis joins me on the show to talk about the adaptive unconscious, self-sabotaging behavior, attachment patterns, and therapy vs performance coaching.

Show Notes
Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

The adaptive unconscious
Defense mechanisms
Self-sabotage
Improving self-awareness
Developing an observing ego
Attachment patterns
Compensation and replication of attachment dynamics
Emotional masking
Using emotional pain as motivation
Is it the crime or the cover-up?
Psychological flexibility
Therapy vs coaching
Flow Research Collective

You can learn more about Sarah and her work at her website: DrSarahSarkis.com

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Perfectly Hidden Depression with Dr. Margaret Rutherford Jan 03, 2021

Dr. Margaret Rutherford joins me on the show to talk about perfectly hidden depression, perfectionism, and the challenges of emotional vulnerability.

Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from the conversations:

Constructive vs destructive perfectionism
Appetitive vs aversive motivation
Trauma, childhood strategies, and the origins of perfectionism
"Smiling depression"
Emotional vulnerability
- Brene Brown — The Gifts of Imperfection
- Terrence Real — I Don’t Want to Talk About It
Perfectly hidden depression
Rigid positivity
Classic depression vs perfectly hidden depression
Insight vs action
How not help someone else who struggles with perfectly hidden depression
Should more therapists be bloggers and podcasters?

You can learn more about Margaret and her work here:

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Difficult Conversations with Adar Cohen Dec 19, 2020

Nick talks to professional mediator Dr. Adar Cohen about how we can have difficult conversations more effectively.

Here are some of the highlights from the conversations:

The Farsi concept of Taroff
The psychology behind conflict avoidance
The 3 main outcomes of difficult conversations: 1) Solution, 2) Plan, 3) Understanding
Achieving deep understanding in conversations
The elements of effective listening
Open-ended questions vs. litigious questions
The importance of uncovering “gem statements"
How to prepare in advance for difficult conversations
How to handle defensiveness in difficult conversations
The importance of silence in difficult conversations
How to be a good mediator for other people

You can learn more about Adar and his work here:

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Life Writing with Uddipana Goswami Dec 19, 2020

In this episode, I talk with author, professor, and writing coach Uddipana Goswami about her practice of Life Writing and how it helped her to process emotional struggles in her life.

You can learn more about Uddipana and her work on her personal website.

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From Addiction to Entrepreneurship with Tim Stoddart Nov 22, 2020

Tim Stoddart joins me on the show to talk about his journey out of addiction and into entrepreneurship—and how blogging played a pivotal role.

You can learn more about Tim and his work on his personal site TimStodz.com

Links and items of note from this episode:

Learn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Career Transitions with Lisa Lewis Oct 11, 2020

Getting clarity about how to make a career transition with Lisa Lewis.

Show Notes:

How Lisa became a career transition expert
What leads to career dissatisfaction?
The four pillars of career fulfillment
Testing career hypotheses
Executing on a new career strategy
Courage vs confidence

You can learn more about Lisa and her work here:

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Starting a Meditation Practice with Lodro Rinzler Sep 13, 2020

Lodro Rinzler is an experienced meditation teacher and the author of many books, including my favorite book about meditation, Sit Like a Buddha: A Pocket Guide to Meditation. In today's episode, I chat with Lodro about how to think differently about meditation, some of the unexpected benefits of meditating, and what you need to know to get a consistent meditation practice off the ground.

Show Notes

How he writes so damn much (1:00)
Tea and Cake with Demons (1:50)
Lodro’s favorite ways that meditation has changed him (3:30)
Conscious vs Unconscious intention (6:40)
What is meditation, exactly? (9:30)
Meditation and judgmentalness (14:15)
Mindfulness vs awareness (20:00)
Meditation and managing emotions well (22:30)
Meditation, anxiety, and the second arrow (27:20)
How to stay consistent with your meditation practice (34:30)

You can learn more about Lodro and his work here:

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Ultralearning and the Art of Personal Possibility with Scott Young Aug 16, 2020

Scott Young is a prolific writer and thinker best known for his concept of ultralearning. In today's episode, I pick Scott's brain about what ultralearning actually is and the many psychological benefits that come with it.

Show Notes

The MIT Challenge
The Year without English (6:00)
The 30-Day Portrait Drawing Challenge (11:00)
What is ultralearning? (18:00)
Ultralearning and deep satisfaction (21:00)
Ultralearning and the expansion of personal possibility (27:00)
Ultralearning and curiosity (37:00)
Ultralearning and self-confidence (40:00)
The relationship between ultralearning and Deep Work (47:00)
Scott’s advice on a first ultralearning project (50:30)

You can learn more about Scott and his work here:

ScottHYoung.com (Website)
Ultralearning (Book)

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Childhood Anxiety with Psychologist Kristen Ohlenforst Jul 26, 2020

Child psychologist Kristen Ohlenforst comes on the show to discuss childhood anxiety, followed up by a no-holds-barred round-robin between Nick and Kristen recounting their own "embarrassing blunders" and "tricks of the trade" as psychologist-parents.

Show Notes

How Kristen became interested in psychology (1:24)
Talk Therapy vs Play Therapy for kids (12:58)
Common misconceptions about childhood anxiety (19:10)
Normal childhood anxiety vs clinically significant anxiety (22:30)
Common types of childhood anxiety (28:14)
To what extent are parents involved in their child’s therapy (30:15)
What to look for in a good child therapist (33:48)
Embarrassing Blunders & Tricks of the Trade
- Kristen’s 1st Embarrassing Parenting Blunder (40:05)
- Nick’s 1st Embarrassing Parenting Blunder (43:28)
- Kristen’s 1st Tricks of the Trade (46:50)
- Nick’s 1st Tricks of the Trade (50:10)
- Kristen’s 2nd Embarrassing Parenting Blunder (54:00)
- Nick’s 2nd Embarrassing Parenting Blunder (57:48)
- Kristen’s 2nd Tricks of the Trade (60:45)
- Nick’s 2nd Tricks of the Trade (64:30)
Kristen and Nick’s picks for historical figures from psychology they would least and most like to have dinner with (68:30)
Kristen’s 2 parenting book recommendations (71:35)
Kristen’s book Moose the Worry Mutt (73:45)

You can learn more about Kristen and her work here:

Therapy Dallas (Website)

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Ancient Chinese Philosophy and Mental Health with Alexus McLeod Jul 12, 2020

Philosopher Alexus McLeod comes on the show to discuss ancient Chinese philosophy and what it can tell us about alternative approaches to mental health today.

Show Notes

Mental health in ancient Chinese philosophy
Eastern vs Western approaches to philosophy
Alexus’s Essay in Aeon (12:00)
Communal approaches to personhood (13:00)
Character and community (19:30)
Stoicism and Buddhism (23:20)
Can society cause mental illness? (25:00)
Harmony and mental health (39:50)
Individuality, alienation, and mental health (44:00)
Questioning cultural assumptions productively (49:40)
Community innovation and mental health (55:00)

You can learn more about Alexus and his work here:

Website

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A Primer on Psychiatric Medication with Dr. Brian Wu Jul 12, 2020

Psychiatrist Brian Wu comes on the show to discuss how to think about psychiatric medication.

Show Notes

Psychiatrists vs psychologists
The most important factor when choosing a psychiatrist (17:00)
What is psychiatric medication, exactly? (18:52)
The most common psychiatric medications (20:00)
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (26:00)
Benzodiazepines (29:00)
Getting prescribed psychiatric medication by non-psychiatrists (32:00)
Children and psychiatric medication (35:00)
Working with a psychiatrist vs a psychologist (38:00)
How to know if your medication is working? (39:50)
Getting off psychiatric medications (43:00)
Can we really trust psychiatric medications? (48:20)

You can learn more about Brian and his work here:

Website

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The Science of Procrastination with Piers Steel Jun 28, 2020

Piers Steel, one of the world's leading researchers on the science of procrastination, explains how to think about procrastination, what really causes it, and the changes we can make to do it a little less.

Show Notes

Meta-analysis
David Hume, An Inquiry Concerning Human Understanding
The four factors in procrastination:
1. Values
2. Self-confidence
3. Impulsiveness
4. Reward delay
Task aversiveness
Subjective Expected Utility Theory
The Procrastination Equation
The Marshmallow Test
Steven Covey
Aldus Huxely, Brave New World Revisited
Roy Baumeister and willpower research
Presatiation
Drive Theory
Learned Helplessness
SMART Goals
The Attention Economy
Procrastination vs Laziness
How to help kids with procrastination

You can learn more about Piers and his work here:

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Secrets to a Happy Marriage with Sam Hamburg Jun 14, 2020

Clinical psychologist and marriage therapist Sam Hamburg joins Nick to discuss common myths and misconceptions about happy marriages, communication in relationships, and the advice all newlyweds should get but never do.

Show Notes

Why communication is never really the problem
Why commitment is no guarantee of happiness
The myth of hard work in marriage
Why compatibility is the secret to a happy marriage
The 3 dimensions of compatibility
- Practical Dimension
  - Gender roles
  - Money and finances
  - Maintenance
  - Leisure time
  - Family boundaries and privacy
- Wavelength Dimension
  - Shared values
  - Spiritual orientation
  - Sense of justice
  - Shared primary concern (kids, careers, hobbies)
- Sexual Dimension
  - Sexual preoccupation
  - Comfort with sexuality
  - Sexual style
Thinking systematically about marriage
The romantic phase of love
The mechanics of a happy marriage
- Don’t leave your sex life to chance
- Maintain your wall of privacy
- Childproof your sexual relationship (and the rest of your relationship)
- Have rachmones with your spouse

You can learn more about Sam and his work here:

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Language and Emotion with Yvonne Barnes-Holmes May 31, 2020

Psychologist and researcher Yvonne Barnes-Holmes joins Nick to discuss the role of language in mental health and human suffering, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and the state of psychotherapy in the 21st century.

Show Notes

The power of language for mental health and suffering
Thought-Identity Fusion
Learning histories and narrative habits
Reading and social perspective-taking
The Cat in the Hat
False belief
Does reading novels lead to psychological flexibility?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Meta-Cognitive Therapy (MCT)
Relational Frame Theory (RFT)
Functional Analysis
Behaviorism
Cognitive Revolution
B.F. Skinner
Iatrogenics
You can learn more about Yvonne and her work here:
Website

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The Psychology of Overeating with Caitlin Faas May 17, 2020

Caitlin Faas, a professor of human development and life coach, joins Nick to discuss the psychology of overeating.

Show Notes

The Life Coach School
“Overeating” vs “weight loss”
Eating as a way to push down difficult feelings
How long do emotions really last?
Patterns of emotional eating
Managing urges
Intentional vs automatic thoughts
Curiosity and “I wonder…” statements
Indulgent feelings
System 1 and System 2 thinking
Why relying on willpower usually backfires
Shaping desire
Real joy vs false pleasures
Is “Listen to your body” really good advice?
Relationship between stress and weight loss
Relationship between food and mood
Body positivity

You can learn more about Caitlin and her work here:

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Morita Therapy and The Art of Taking Action with Gregg Krech May 03, 2020

Gregg Krech, an expert in a form of Japanese psychology called Morita Therapy, discusses how to think differently about the role of emotions in mental health and the surprising power of taking action to improve things like anxiety, procrastination, and depression.

Show Notes

The relationship between feeling and action
Morita therapy
Feeling-centered vs purpose-centered lifestyle
Coexisting with unpleasant feelings without acting on them
Cultural difference in our understanding of emotions
Acceptance of emotions
Content of emotions vs your relationship with your emotions
Zen meditation and the nature of emotions
Working on feelings vs accepting them
Acceptance, attachment, and suffering
Non-resistance
Self-focused attention
Iatrogenics in psychotherapy
Performance anxiety
The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey
Soren Kierkegaard
Anxiety and intelligence
Procrastination
Michael Singer and The Untethered Soul

You can learn more about Gregg and his work here:

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Thriving After 15 Years of Heroin Addiction with Brian Pennie Apr 20, 2020

Neuroscience researcher and author Brian Pennie reflects on his 15-year addiction to heroin and how he managed to not only survive those harrowing years but to come out of it and build a life he loves.

Show Notes

Anxiety and addiction
"The opposite of addiction is connection." Johann Hari
Awareness is the opposite of addiction
Awareness by Anthony DeMelo
Storytelling and “the grand self-deception”
The relationship between self-awareness, self-belief, and self-deception
Where does self-belief come from?
The importance of friendship and vulnerability
Surrender and peace of mind
Relational Frame Theory and the connection between language and emotion
The relationship between addiction and values (or the lack of values)
Curiosity as the key to recovery and thriving
Positive addictions
Transforming desire
Surviving vs thriving
Brian’s Dr. Dolittle Story
The importance of playfulness and humor

You can learn more about Brian and his work here:

Website
Bonus Time (Book)
Social Media: Twitter | LinkedIn | Medium

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An Expert Guide to Assertive Communication with Dr. Randy Paterson Apr 04, 2020

Dr. Randy Paterson guides us through the ins and outs of assertive communication, explaining why it's essential for healthy, happy relationships in work, love, and life.

Show Notes

What is assertiveness?
Common misconceptions about assertiveness
The 4 styles of communication
The benefits of becoming more assertive
The barriers to being assertive: the stress barrier; the social barrier; the belief barrier
Why it’s so hard to ask for what you really want
Demanding what we want vs informing people of what we want
DESO scripts
Why it’s hard to say no to what you don’t want
How to handle confrontation well
Strategies for constructive confrontation, especially how to find common ground
Are we responsible for other people’s feelings?
Beyond assertive communication: taking responsibility for your own life

You can learn more about Randy and his work here:

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Insomnia Myths & Misconceptions with Dr. Daniel Erichsen Mar 27, 2020

Nick and Daniel trade off describing their favorite myths and misconceptions about insomnia and sleep.

Show Notes:

Does everyone need 8 hours of sleep per night?
Should I go to bed at the same time every night?
The crucial difference between feeling tired and feeling sleepy
If I’m not getting 8 hours of sleep, am I at risk for major health issues?
Do I need to avoid blue light before bed?
Do things cause insomnia or beliefs about things? See also: Nick's Complete Guide to Insomnia
The problem with sleep hygiene
Sleep is more about what you don’t do than what you do.
Sleep effort and the perfect metaphor for insomnia
Is it important to get an even number of sleep cycles?
Beware the Sleep Hygiene Industrial Complex
If I have a big day coming up, should I get into bed early?
Can I pay off my long-term sleep debt?
How important is it to understand what caused my insomnia?
Triggering factors vs maintaining factors in insomnia
Insomnia and threat-monitoring
Is insomnia even a sleep disorder?
Does sleep quality deteriorate with age?
Should I avoid exercise in the evenings?
Intention is everything when it comes to sleep.

You can follow Daniel Erichsen online in the following places:

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Hypnosis Revealed with Traci Stein Mar 16, 2020

Nick and Traci separate myth from reality on the topic of hypnosis and discuss what clinical hypnosis can actually be useful for.

Show Notes:

Common misconceptions about hypnosis
What is hypnosis, exactly?
Hypnosis vs Positive Visualization, Flow, and Mindfulness
What does hypnosis actually feel like?
What is a hypnotic trance?
Everyday trances
For Love of the Game
Suggestibility
Hypnosis and healthy behavior change
What is hypnosis especially useful for?
Hypnosis for smoking cessation
Nick’s unconscious self-hypnotic inductions
Hypnobirthing
Self-hypnosis
Holly Forester-Miller — Surgery video (a bit graphic!)
Self-hypnosis for confidence and public speaking
American Society of Clinical Hypnosis
Traci Stein’s self-hypnosis audio programs

You can follow Traci online here:

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Rethinking Addiction with Thomas Horvath Mar 16, 2020

Nick and Tom discuss different ways of thinking about addiction and why it matters for tackling one of the world's most important challenges.

Show Notes:

Common misconceptions about addiction
The 3 fundamental addictive behaviors
Are addicts fundamentally different than non-addicts?
Is addiction a habit?
Addiction, loss of control, and the gun-to-the-head test
How important is self-control and willpower in overcoming addiction?
Cravings, Urge Surfing (Alan Marlatt), and Confidence
Transforming desire
Addiction as a relationship, not a thing (Stanton Peele, Love and Addiction)
Should we legalize and/or decriminalize recreational drugs?
The world’s first self-help books (Nichomachean Ethics)
Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies professionally vetted self-help books
Addictive personalities
Positive addictions
Slips vs relapses and why the distinction matters
The opposite of addiction is connection (John Hari)
St. John’s College
How to help someone who’s struggling with addiction
Smart Recovery
Beyond Addiction
Practical Recovery

You can follow Tom and learn more about his work here:

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What Is Mindfulness, Really? with Daron Larson Mar 16, 2020

Nick and Daron discuss what mindfulness is exactly and how to incorporate more mindfulness into your own life (without sitting on a yoga mat repeating a mantra for hours).

Show Notes:

What is mindfulness?
The trappings of mindfulness
Mindfulness as exercise for your attention
Mindfulness vs mindfulness meditation
Formal vs ordinary mindfulness
Mindfulness as attention management
Giuseppe's Italian restaurant Columbus Ohio
Are mindfulness apps overrated?
Daron’s personal mindfulness practice
Shinzen Young
Daron's approach to attentional cross-training
Obstacles to starting a mindfulness practice
The two muscles of mindfulness
“Mindfulness is a no-lose game that feels like a no-win game.”
The spiritual aspects of mindfulness

You can follow Daron Larson here:

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