Martini Shot

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Two or Twenty Minutes Jul 19, 2006

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In pretty much any kind of labor dispute, I instinctively side with management. This, I know, is a character flaw, and yet I can't seem to shake it...

House in a House Jul 12, 2006

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Sometimes when I'm reading a magazine article, or one of those awful New York Times news analysis pieces, the reporter will feel compelled to say, in the middle of referring to a person or a place, something like, &quotfull; disclosure: the author is personally acquainted with... " you know, whatever they were writing about. So if they're writing about Yale or Harvard, they'll say, &quotfull; disclosure: this reporter is a graduate of Yale," which didn't really need to be disclosed, actually: you can tell someone went to Harvard or Yale just by the tortured non-logic of his argument, and how often he uses the word &quotobviously.;" The full-disclosure ruse is just a way of bragging to people about something that it would be pushy or la-di-da to mention any other way -- full disclosure: this reporter is short-listed for the Pulitizer Prize; full disclosure: this reporter once saved a kitty's life -- all wrapped up in disingenuous ooze.

Pineapple Rice Jul 05, 2006

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I have a friend who's an excellent chef. The other parents at her kid's school know that she's a great cook, and so at some point, during that awkward, stilted small-talk parents engage in when they're talking to their kids' friends, one parent asked her 10 year-old son, &quotSo;! What's your favorite thing that your mom cooks?&quot...;

It's a Mistake Jun 28, 2006

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I got a call from a reporter recently. He was doing a piece on the decline of the TV sitcom, trying to figure out why thee hasn't been a really big hit in a while. Dramas, serials, reality -- all of those areas are doing robust business. But comedy, which used to pay the big bills, isn't doing much of anything...

Salute the Monkey Jun 21, 2006

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A few days ago, I was talking to a writer friend of mine. He had a meeting scheduled the next day with a senior executive at one of the networks...

Little Britain Jun 14, 2006

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I know a guy who went to Paris and spent most of his time there watching German television off the satellite. He flew into Paris, checked into the hotel, napped, showered, and as he was dressing to go out, turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels --- you know, as one does --- and suddenly caught a few seconds of what looked like a German talk show with a host doing a weird German version of David Letterman --- same vocal intonation, same staccato laugh, same sing-songy repetition of key comic phrases --- except in German...

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