Make Your Damn Bed

Latest Episodes:

1260 || habits to help bridge gaps Oct 21, 2024

Show notes

Today, we're reading the first few tips from "Eight Habits of Effective Bridge-Builders" and discussing what it means to build these habits.

RESOURCES: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_habits_of_effective_bridge_builders

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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1259 || the HEAR technique to bridge gaps Oct 20, 2024

Show notes

Four Steps to Help People Feel Listened To:

H = Hedge your claims, even when you feel very certain about your beliefs. It signals a recognition that there are some cases or some people who might support your opponent’s perspective.
E = Emphasize agreement. Find some common ground even when you disagree on a particular topic. This does not mean compromising or changing your mind, but rather recognizing that most people in the world can find some broad ideas or values to agree on.
A = Acknowledge the opposing perspective. Rather than jumping in to your own argument, devote a few seconds to restating the other person’s position to demonstrate that you did indeed hear and understand it.
R = Reframing to the positive. Avoid negative and contradictory words, such as “no,” “won’t” or “do not.” At the same time, increase your use of positive words to change the tone of the conversation.

RESOURCE: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_steps_to_help_people_feel_listened_to

AND: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-copes-with-grief/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1258 || final thoughts on grief Oct 19, 2024

Show notes

Grief isn’t linear.

Grief doesn't happen in stages.

Grief is chaotic.

Grief convinces you that it’s all encompassing.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve (aside from the obvious).

Be gentle with yourself.

I’m not asking you to pretend it doesn't exist, but I am asking you to endure it.

It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be different, but it will be okay.

If you want to feel more connected:

The Shared Grief Project - https://sharedgrief.org/
Articles, blogs, community re, resources, etc. https://whatsyourgrief.com/
Additional resources: https://alicaforneret.co/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1257 || grief is emotional chaos Oct 18, 2024

Show notes

I recently received a request for resources on grief and loss, and I’ve collected a lot over the years because I’ve never been the most efficient at dealing with my grief; and although I don’t think grief is something that ever fully goes away, I do know from experience (and the wisdom that comes from it) - that it won’t always be unbearable. Today I share some science from Mary Frances O'Connor.

The Shared Grief Project: https://sharedgrief.org/

Mary Frances O'Connor's Site: https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/

Today's resources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6844541/

Today's secondary resources: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-copes-with-grief/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1256 || how grief affects our neural pathways Oct 17, 2024

Show notes

The Shared Grief Project: https://sharedgrief.org/

Mary Frances O'Connor's Site: https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/

Today's resources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6844541/

Today's secondary resources: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-copes-with-grief/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1255 || dealing with grief (the science) Oct 16, 2024

Show notes

The Shared Grief Project: https://sharedgrief.org/

Mary Frances O'Connor's Site: https://maryfrancesoconnor.org/

Today's resources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6844541/

Today's secondary resources: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-copes-with-grief/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1254 || dealing with decision fatigue Oct 15, 2024

Show notes

In 1998, Psychologist Roy Baumeister conducted a foundational study that showed decision-making depletes cognitive resources, much like physical exertion depletes muscles.

Baumeister’s studies found that decision fatigue leads to impulsive choices (gravitating toward immediate rewards or default options) or avoidance of decision-making (procrastination or refusal to choose).

For example, judges in a 2011 study were more likely to grant parole early in the day, and less likely as they became mentally fatigued, demonstrating how mental depletion affects critical decision-making.

So, preplan what you can. Limit excess decision making. Account for much needed rest + recovery. Rely on default decisions where applicable. Know + respect your limits. Practice mindfulness + compassion. Be patient. Remember you're human.

DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:

https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities

DISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/

ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/

MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvival

THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/

MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1253 || regret from a life not lived Oct 14, 2024

Show notes

Years ago, when I was grieving the loss of a very serious break up, I was explaining to a friend that the grief was really intense not only because I was grieving a loss of this, but I was also grieving the loss of who I was going to be with that person, and I think about this a lot, the anxiety of all of the un lived lives. I’ll never get the unknown of all of the paths I didn’t and couldn’t take.

TIPS: Practice radical acceptance: Accept that you can't live every life. For every door you open, another closes.

Get present: Ground yourself in the life you're living right now. Try mindfulness exercises to bring you back to the present moment.

Embrace "good enough": Aim for a life that's good enough, not perfect.

Reframe your past: View your past choices as steps in your unique journey, rather than as failures.

Live authentically: Make decisions based on your values—not societal expectations.

DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:

https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities

DISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/

ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/

MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvival

THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/

MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1252 || escaping survival mode (revisited) Oct 13, 2024

Show notes

Today we revisit an episode from March 2023:

what does survival mode look like for you? how can we get out of the patterns that put us into our default mode?

we've all experienced stress, but when stress is prolonged - we can forget how to relax.

Mindfulness, patience, compassion, and practice can help us escape that constant vigilance and return to a state of calm.

DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:

https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities

DISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/

ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/

MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvival

THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/

MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1251 || we're all traumatized (revisited) Oct 12, 2024

Show notes

Today we revisit an episode from March 2023:

Every single one of us has experienced some level of trauma. We're only capable of acting and responding at the level we're internally ready for. Practicing mercy + empathy can really help us to be more patient with strangers.

DISASTER ASSISTANCE FOR THOSE WITH DISABILITIES:

https://www.disasterassistance.gov/information/people-with-disabilities

DISASTER RELIEF MUTUAL AID: https://mutualaiddisasterrelief.org/

ASHEVILLE MUTUAL AID LINKS: https://www.rjcavl.org/mutual-aid-resources/

MORE ASHEVILLE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/avlsurvival

THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/

MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/

DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast