Make Your Damn Bed

Latest Episodes:

1443 || trad wife movement alternatives May 09, 2025

Show notes

We all have limited time and if shit doesn’t make us feel empowered or better or less nihilistic, then we have to remember we’ve ultimately got the power to change that.

You’re allowed to and supposed to watch entertainment for joy and motivation and pleasure and curiosity and even to be petty as long as you don’t forget that the entertainment is affecting you in more than one way so in my experience being aware of the presence of a pipeline towards alt right extremism is a very crucial step in not sliding down it or unknowingly promoting it.

Alternative influencers who "homestead" but aren't afraid to talk about the elephant in the room:

Alexis Nicole (Forager + Educational + So charming): https://www.instagram.com/blackforager/?hl=en

Science Based Homestead farmer: https://www.tiktok.com/@thezenhenandthehoneybee?_t=ZP-8wBf6CAjQ47&_r=1

Chaotic Forager: https://www.tiktok.com/@chaoticforager?_t=ZP-8wBeyyPNULv&_r=1

Homestead + Farmer: https://www.tiktok.com/@offgridhomesteadfam?_t=ZP-8wBeyOPObJX&_r=1

TODAY'S MAIN SOURCES:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tradwife#:~:text=A%20tradwife%20(a%20neologism%20for,of%20being%20a%20traditional%20wife.

https://www.shatteringthesilence.org/blog/what-is-a-tradwife

IF YOU CAN:

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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1442 || the hidden meaning of the trad wife movement May 08, 2025

Show notes

The title buries the lede, because there is no upside, but there are ways to avoid falling victim to the trap of consuming with no idea of the impact.

It's good practice to assume that everything you're consuming online or on TV is marketing, either of a person, an ideology, or a product, which wouldn't be a big deal if it was honest with us.

The lie leads to shame and homogeny and an overall feeling of "insufficiency".

At the very best, it steals your time. At it's worst - it steals more.

Don't let it.

MAIN SOURCES:

https://www.mediamatters.org/tiktok/study-tradwife-influencers-are-quietly-spreading-far-right-conspiracy-theories

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8022555/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tradwife#:~:text=A%20tradwife%20(a%20neologism%20for,of%20being%20a%20traditional%20wife.

https://www.shatteringthesilence.org/blog/what-is-a-tradwife

IF YOU CAN:

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1441 || revealing the scam of trad wife movement May 07, 2025

Show notes

These influencers make careers out of convincing you to give yours up.

It seems pretty obvious that it’s supposed to benefit men but in reality it benefits nobody - people that don’t fall sharply into a gender binary suffer, women suffer, and unfortunately even men suffer under this system.

The whole thing contradicts itself. It’s snake oil. Toxic fumes to huff so you’re too high to notice them abusing your free labor and support.

Pretends to be empowering, when it's the opposite.

Pretends to make you more secure, when it's the opposite.

Pretends to be aesthetic and peaceful, when it's the opposite.

These influencers make careers out of convincing you to quit yours.

It's a grift. Don't fall for it.

Glamorizing hard work without acknowledging the true difficulty and depths of demands of it is DANGEROUS.

SOURCES:

https://www.mediamatters.org/tiktok/study-tradwife-influencers-are-quietly-spreading-far-right-conspiracy-theories

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8022555/

https://www.shatteringthesilence.org/blog/what-is-a-tradwife

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1440 || the trad wife scam May 06, 2025

Show notes

I think the skeeziest lie about the trad wife movement is that it’s just a type of stay at home mom. Unlike stay-at-home moms, who may choose to stay home for practical reasons, like saving money on child care or because they genuinely want to, trad wives adhere to incredibly strict traditional gender roles - regardless of what the woman actually wants. A woman's identity becomes "the family" and looking "good" for the family, anything outside of that is to be shamed explicitly.

According to wikipedia: Tradwives have been linked to the alt-right movement.

Patriarchy need the gender binary so they can claim that things fit neatly into it. If I say men and women exist and there’s no spectrum of how that presents, despite there being no proof - I also get to say that some work is women’s work and I won’t ever have to do it.

Washing the dishes is a life skill that anyone who has eaten off of a dish should master. Laundry is a life skill. Cooking is a life skill. Child rearing is a life skill. Hygiene is a life skill. Communication is a life skill. If you have a life, it will benefit from knowing how to do these skills.

Forced binaries are an attempt to control the uncontrollable. To justify rules where rules shouldn’t exist.

Organically + intentionally falling into "traditional gender roles" is wonderful, but gender roles shouldn't exist in the first place, so we absolutely need to avoid forcing people into them.

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1439 || manufactured insecurities +. face filters May 05, 2025

Show notes

It's not the filters, or the photoshops, or the ads - it's a combination of all of it. It's keeping us so insecure that we don't do anything but focus on how we look.

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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1438 || "reality" tv isn't real + why that matters May 04, 2025

Show notes

Bachelor Contestants have spoken out about how dates, meltdowns, and interactions were directed by producers. Pawn Stars admits to rehearsing and choosing their interactions. House Hunters pretends to have them choose between three houses, but their house was already purchased. The other two were just for the show. Survivor contestants admit to getting help and storylines from off camera. Storage Wars producers place valuable items in the lockers to make it seem more exciting and profitable. Property Brothers is fake. Catfish is fake. Love Island is fake.

And like - fine. It’s all fake. We can argue that because we all know, or because it is sometimes very obvious, that it doesn’t matter. But it does because it shifts our idea of normal and acceptable. It makes us feel like everyone behaves like a character. It convinces us that we're not normal if we're not always camera ready.

But because it’s normal to sell us things plan your vacation around instagram, or stage your house because you want to look cool on a tiktok, or have a face filter every time you post, It’s not just becoming harder to tell what’s fake, there’s simply very little left that isn’t.

Ray Richmond quotes about reality TV: https://www.today.com/popculture/just-how-real-are-reality-tv-shows-2D80554998

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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1437 || reclaiming agency through dancing May 03, 2025

Show notes

I think everything these days wants to steal our attention. And if it’s been a while since we checked in with that and how comfortable we are giving up all of life‘s best moments for bullshit that (if we could remember) would not matter at all.

So it’s nice to reclaim a bit of it for ourselves. In whatever ways we can manage. If that’s carving out a few minutes a day to dance? I think that’s a beautiful way to start.

SOURCES:

The Dance vs. Depression Study: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10813489/

Another study: https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-075847

Articles on the topic:

INDEPENDENT: https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/dance-best-exercise-depression-b2501113.html

RELIEF MENTAL HEALTH: https://reliefmh.com/blog/dance-therapy-depression-anxiety/

DANCE MAG: https://dancemagazine.com/dancing-with-depression/#gsc.tab=0

HARVARD: https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/dancing-

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1436 || dance as an anti-depressant May 02, 2025

Show notes

Dance has been outperforming SSRI's, anti-depressants, and all other forms of exercise in combatting depression symptoms in multiple studies.

It makes sense to me that the combination of mental + physical coordination, the way it grounds you + forces you to be present, and the social aspect would have a profound effect on our health but it makes you wonder what other cultural practices and wisdom we've overlooked.

SOURCES:

The Dance vs. Depression Study: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10813489/

Another study: https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-075847

Articles on the topic:

INDEPENDENT: https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/dance-best-exercise-depression-b2501113.html

RELIEF MENTAL HEALTH: https://reliefmh.com/blog/dance-therapy-depression-anxiety/

DANCE MAG: https://dancemagazine.com/dancing-with-depression/#gsc.tab=0

HARVARD: https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/dancing-

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1436 || dance as an anti-depressant || patreon May 02, 2025

Show notes

Dance has been outperforming SSRI's, anti-depressants, and all other forms of exercise in combatting depression symptoms in multiple studies.

SOURCES:

The Dance vs. Depression Study: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10813489/

Another study: https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-075847

Articles on the topic:

INDEPENDENT: https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/dance-best-exercise-depression-b2501113.html

RELIEF MENTAL HEALTH: https://reliefmh.com/blog/dance-therapy-depression-anxiety/

DANCE MAG: https://dancemagazine.com/dancing-with-depression/#gsc.tab=0

HARVARD: https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/dancing-

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1435 || the key to effective self care May 01, 2025

Show notes

Reminder 1. The point of self care is to care for yourself, not add unnecessary shame or heighten the stakes.

Reminder 2: You can’t optimize yourself out of experiencing all pain and discomfort.

Reminder 3: There is no one size fits all fix to any problem.

REMINDER 4: Sometimes, if we’re really lucky - we will find things that can help offer guideposts through a very tricky existence.

ACTION ITEM: read, listen, watch, and pay real close attention to the things that make you feel lucky to enough to see.

ACTION ITEM: Compile a list of those anything that helps you feel seen or heard or validated. Bonus: Share it with others who you think may feel “seen” by it, too.

KEY LESSON: What’s cool about this exploration is that, when you’re always on the lookout for your humanity in others, you’ll start to see it in everything and everyone.

Until then, just let yourself enjoy the process of exploration.

Donate to Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund::www.pcrf.net

Donate to Mutual Aid Funds: https://www.folxhealth.com/library/mutual-aid-funds

GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK