Make Your Damn Bed

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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1716 || book club || healing the shame that binds you Mar 17, 2026

Show notes

“Without feeling, nothing matters, and with feeling, anything can matter.” - Silvan Tompkins

When you internalize toxic levels of shame, you create a "false self" to cope. It takes lots of energy and hard work to live a false self.

John Bradshaw's website.

Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You

Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.

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1715 || regular shame vs. toxic shame Mar 16, 2026

Show notes

Toxic shame is a deep feeling of worthlessness and self-hatred often starting in childhood due to trauma or neglect. Deconstructing internalized toxic shame is an intense and overwhelming process, but it's a rewarding one.

Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.

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1714 || "thawing out" from a freeze state Mar 13, 2026

Show notes

Analysis paralysis is a natural response to stress, but there are many ways to manage it.

Respect the "thawing" process: this takes time.
Ground yourself: breathing exercises, noting exercises, etc.
Practice physical release: dance, shake, sing, yell, etc.
Get therapeutic help: Practice healthier coping skills, uproot deeper issues.

Read the PsychCentral article.

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1713 || imperfect action > inaction Mar 12, 2026

Show notes

Inaction is not neutral.

I know I’m capable of great things but I am too afraid to do anything I want to do because it is easier to do nothing.

It feels safer to do nothing but it’s not. Inaction is not neutral.

Just because I can’t solve every problem doesn’t mean I can’t solve any of them.

Its easy to criticize the problems and the issues and the systems even, and blame my inaction on that - but I do have space and time and energy where many people don’t and I don’t use it because much of it is self centered criticism of my own perceived ability to change the problem.

How many times I’ve said to myself something to the extent of, since I can’t fix the world so I may as well give up on this tiny corner of it.

And that’s sad. My fear of being imperfect to myself is holding me back from everything.

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1711 || why the war Mar 11, 2026

Show notes

This war is a ponzi scheme by people who use "rapture accelerationism" as a manipulation tactic. People ARE resisting, but we need to address what's really happening if we want to resist it properly.

Professor Jiang's "Predictive History" Youtube.

Wikipedia on Professor Jiang Xueqin

Penn Live article on Jiang's predictions.

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1712 || keep me kind Mar 11, 2026

Show notes

Having a broken heart means you still have a heart. Feeling painful feelings means you can still feel.

It's all part of the process of processing.

"Keep my anger from becoming meanness.

Keep my sorrow from collapsing into self-pity.

Keep my heart soft enough to keep breaking.

Keep my anger turned towards justice, not cruelty.

Remind me that all of this, every bit of it, is for love.

Keep me fiercely kind." Laura Jean Truman

Watch Today's short Professor Jiang's video.

Professor Jiang's "Predictive History" Youtube.

Wikipedia on Professor Jiang Xueqin

Penn Live article on Jiang's predictions.

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1710 || bell hooks || men aren't the enemy Mar 10, 2026

Show notes

"By highlighting psychological patriarchy, we see that everyone is implicated and we are freed from the misperception that men are the enemy. To end patriarchy we must challenge both its psychological and its concrete manifestations in daily life.

To end male pain, to respond effectively to male crisis, we have to name the problem. We have to both acknowledge that the problem is patriarchy and work to end patriarchy. Terrence Real offers this valuable insight: “The reclamation of wholeness is a process even more fraught for men than it has been for women, more difcult and more profoundly threatening to the culture at large.” If men are to reclaim the essential goodness of male being, if they are to regain the space of openheartedness and emotional expressiveness that is the foundation of well-being, we must envision alternatives to patriarchal masculinity. We must all change." - bell hooks

Read the bell hooks work: understanding patriarchy.

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1709 || bell hooks || patriarchy isn't funny Mar 09, 2026

Show notes

"No one has ever explained why accurately naming this system is funny. The laughter is itself a weapon of patriarchal terrorism. It functions as a disclaimer, discounting the significance of what is being named. It suggests that the words themselves are problematic and not the system they describe." - bell hooks

Read the bell hooks work: understanding patriarchy.

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1708 || bell hooks on understanding patriarchy Feb 25, 2026

Show notes

Patriarchy is the single most life-threatening social disease assaulting the male body and spirit in our nation. Yet most men do not use the word “patriarchy” in everyday life. - bell hooks

By highlighting psychological patriarchy, we see that everyone is implicated and we are freed from the misperception that men are the enemy. To end patriarchy we must challenge both its psychological and its concrete manifestations in daily life. - bell hooks

Read the bell hooks work: understanding patriarchy.

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Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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