Make Your Damn Bed

Latest Episodes:

Day 407 || sunk cost fallacy: relationships I Mar 28, 2022

Show notes

People seem to think because they have invested months or years of time into a person that they shouldn’t give up on the potential for them to change, when their current reality is miserable and undeniably better if they cut ties.

I have heard countless friends justify staying too long bad relationships with “but we’ve been together for so long” or “I’ve put so many years into this,” or and “we’ve worked so hard at it,” or “We just have so much history”

The key to not falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy is by being real with yourself about the reality of your current state and remember that ALL sunken costs cannot be recovered. Forget the past instead of dwelling on what used to be or how hard you worked, instead get real about the current costs and current benefits - and if the current costs aren’t outweighing the current benefits or looking like they’re going to realistically change in the foreseeable future, you gotta cut your losses.

Remember as humans, we have a tendency to fear losses more than we expect gains - so we must keep that in mind when we find ourselves clinging to things that we’re far better off without.

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Day 406 || WWMFVOMD Mar 27, 2022

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staying aligned with that favorite version of you, in every situation, no matter how stressed, how hungry, how angry, how frustrated, how down, how unheard you feel, is the highest form of alignment and self-mastery in my honest opinion. If you can still make choices that make your favorite version of you feel the most proud, no matter how crappy and off kilter you feel? It’s not easy - it may not even be doable for all of us - but damn it’s a beautiful thing to strive for.

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Day 405 || highest alignment Mar 26, 2022

Show notes

If you do find it to be a struggle to know what the next best choice is for your current self - channel that version of you that feels the most badass before you make a decision? If you need to create a more confident alter-ego, great! Whatever you need to do to ensure you’re making the choices that make you feel the most empowered on a regular basis.

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Day 404 || yes to mess Mar 25, 2022

Show notes

Don’t be afraid to go after anything you want even if you’re a lil scared its not the perfect fit because who the hell cares if its a temporary gig, at the very least you’ve got a dope party story and best case scenario you get to combine all your skills into the ideal life for yourself.

Open yourself up to new experiences, be brave, face the what if I hate it’s with so what if I hate it - at least I frickin’ tried.

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Day 403 || the downside to optimism Mar 24, 2022

Show notes

In the book, Stumbling on Happiness, Dan Gilbert says: "Most of us do have the expectation that our lives are improving and will get better and better, but often we’re not ready to do anything to actually achieve that next level. So, we spend our days hoping for better, our evenings dreaming of better, but our time doing nothing to make anything better - which means - things probably aren’t actually improving for us. We’re just hoping and dreaming, which is fine, but if those hopes and dreams started to spill into your genuine world of expectations in any way, it can be a painful reality check to realize your fantasies are simply fantasies.

Those feelings of peace, luxury, decadence, freedom, love, connection, or whatever else I am seeking through the lil imagination beach getaway of my mind, that’s what I want to create more of. I want more of the feelings, not the environments I am convinced will create those feelings.

When I realized that that’s the perk. The escapism into my head, is the perk I am looking for, and not the dream home, because the dream home downs exist. There is no such thing as the villa I created because life isn’t a fantasy.

So stay optimistic AND realistic. Ask yourself what you are really seeking through your hopes and fantasies and see if you can manifest more of that, now. In your current space.

Let your optimism drive you towards discovering more of it, in your life rather than allowing it to remind you of where you may be lacking it.

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Day 402 || save the work for the work Mar 23, 2022

Show notes

Save the work until you get to the work.

So often, we get caught up in our heads about potential problems and our workloads that we basically double the work on our plate by basically having to go through it twice.

Have you ever been driving to work and pre-writing emails, or pre-planning meetings, or predicting problems?

How many times have you left a job and started planning for the next day? Or worse - deciding what you can finish when you get home?

Some jobs don’t allow you to leave the work at work - but I still encourage you to schedule in adequate time to take c are of yourself so you don’t burn out.

In the show abbott elementary - which I cant get enough of and think everyone should watch immediately it’s so funny and heartfelt - but in case you haven’t seen it I will butcher a beautiful moment in my retelling of an episode where the main character was trying to do everything in her power to “save the school” on her own and she kinda screws everything up in a comedy of errors and another teacher offers a beautiful monologue explaining that the more experienced teachers aren’t stepping into the line of fire because they don’t care but because they don’t want to burn out. We care so much we refuse to burn out. If we burn out who’s here for the kids?

And that’s something I had to learn the hard way as a teacher. I had to learn that in order to make the difference i was so desperate to make - I had to preserve my own wellbeing first. I had to create healthy boundaries or id work myself to the bone and never be able to recover.

If you take it like a staircase instead of a projectile, you’re less likely to fall straight back down to the earth.

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Day 401 || buy yourself time Mar 22, 2022

Show notes

When being propositioned for anything, practice saying oh that sounds great can I get back to you in ____ insert appropriate time frame here.

I typically tell people I will put it in your calendar and check back in closer to the date. Then immediately I will set a second calendar event for a week or a day or so prior to the event reminding me to check in about it.

That way I can have time to flesh my schedule out and decide with adequate reflection if it’s something I actually do want to attend or I just felt obligated to in the heat of the moment.

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Day 400 || google better 3 Mar 21, 2022

Show notes

Today's (and tomorrow's) episode references: https://time.com/4116259/google-search-2/

https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/11/02/expert-tips-for-google-search/4113013002/

Duck Duck Go: Private searching browser.

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Day 399 || google better 2 Mar 20, 2022

Show notes

Good morning sunshine!

Hope today is magic for you.

Today's (and tomorrow's) episode references: https://time.com/4116259/google-search-2/

https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/11/02/expert-tips-for-google-search/4113013002/

MEDIA BIAS CHART EXPLANATION: https://adfontesmedia.com/how-ad-fontes-ranks-news-sources/

https://www.allsides.com/media-bias/media-bias-rating-methods

1. Language is important. You don’t want to write when did such and such start if you really want to know when something was founded vs. established, or published vs. written. Figure out what you REALLY, specifically are looking to find out, and choose the appropriate (but fewest possible) words to get you there.

2. Don’t lead the witness. When asking a question, google for the answer don’t ask if your answer is right - you may just find other people who agreed with you confidently enough to publish a website but not enough to figure out you’re both incorrect.

3. Use quotation marks to get results with those exact key word phrases included in the results. Choosing and putting quotes around important contextual words can help get you more useful results, more efficiently.

According to USA Today article, Google’s advice is to add or remove words in your query to see different results, starting out with a broad search and narrowing it down as you go.

The word order matters in your searches, so try one way then the other if you’re not getting the results you want.

4. In addition to quotation marks, you can also add - minus sign to your search to remove things you don’t want to see in the results. Like if you’re looking for a new car but don’t want a certain type, you can put -convertible so you don’t have to see convertibles show up in your results. There needs to be a space before the minus sign and then not before the word you’d like to exclude. The opposite is true for the + plus sign to ensure anything you add after MUST be included in the search results. Similar to the “quotation mark” strategy but this one is more for single keywords.

5. You can also use an asterisk * if you forget a word in a quote or a common sentence that is essential for the search.

6. I am personally a huge fan of image search. I find a lot of things I need, like resume examples, quotes, scripts, etc. are created in PDF or visual form and you don’t have to scroll through all the various webpages seeing if the information you want even exists. Just scroll through images quickly to see if it’s there.

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Day 398 || google better Mar 19, 2022

Show notes

I feel the need to remind us all that truly unbiased humans don’t exist so truly unbiased news sources can’t exist either. Buuuuuut, luckily there are some resources that don’t explicitly sell out to advertisers, politicians, agendas or whatever else people get brainwashed by or choose to sell their souls for and fortunately for us - that means there are the occasional resources that opt for good journalism and with that, we have something to work with!

By now you may have seen the media bias chart by Vanessa Otero to see how 104 news outlets rank on reliability and bias.

When we’re consuming content of any kind, but especially informational or educational stuff, and especially especially the news, we should not only be very conscious of the reliability of our sources but also become more selective and choosy about WHAT we’re consuming from those sources, how we’re consuming that information, how often we’re consuming it.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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