Make Your Damn Bed

Latest Episodes:

Day 437 || how to defuse I Apr 25, 2022

Show notes

Build the connection before you reach for the correction.

a lot of communication does happen non verbally - so offer kindness and listening and empathy through your expressions. If you’re standing, face the person directly but don’t tower or “muscle up”, show you’re receptive by sitting up straight and actively listening to the speaker.

People who roll their eyes and shake their head and keep attempting to speak over others are far less likely to actually get any points across because it only serves to escalate emotions and trigger people’s fear of feeling unheard and disrespected.

But obviously verbal communication is VERY important to manage and streamline as well. If you can continuously approach people with a respectful tone regardless of how angry, frustrated, or petty you feel; you’re ahead of the game.

Maybe it comes in the form of being more passive, or sarcastic, or some of us are more direct - but tone and expression can change the entire conversation - even if the words you say are identical. Saying - “I’m feeling like you didn’t understand me” can come off very different than “I’m feeling like you didn’t understand me”

When a conversation is getting tense, it can be good to reassure the other person, that you’re on their team and you’re acting in good faith and not attempting to pull the rug out from under them. This will allow them to let their guard down and trust you so they aren’t coming from as much of a defensive and shut down place. Remember, if someone has their defenses up, those shields block EVERYTHING from entering - including logic and reasoning. So the key is deescalate so they know that they are safe with you.

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Day 436 || self awareness detour Apr 24, 2022

Show notes

The detour today is brought to you by ADHD.

Today I share the true meaning of "staying present" and how to do so without becoming hyper self critical.

I also share tips on how to stay confident by bringing your real self to the table. And there's a few other nugs of wisdom you'll have to tune in to find out, please and thanks.

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Day 435 || how to defuse an introduction Apr 23, 2022

Show notes

Sometimes people will get heated and things may escalate quickly and get tense out of nowhere and we may not even know what or why things are happening this way, but if we create a tool belt of things we can return to, we can remember that we do have some power in whether we choose to defuse or further escalate a potentially tense situation.

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Day 434 || conversational awareness conclusion Apr 22, 2022

Show notes

The conversational awareness series summary:

Stay present, don’t prep responses. Read the room. Take your time. Not every convo needs to be gossipy and ruthless and petty. Steer conversations more positively if they become too negative. Keep shit neutral for the most part. If sharing is the vibe great but don’t pry and probe if people wanna share they will - and people are more comfortable sharing with those who share and listen also but it can be really awkward to keep pressing and prying. Take responsibility if you say inappropriate shit, in the moment.

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Day 433 || how to storytell better Apr 22, 2022

Show notes

How to tell a better story: Be present, stay confident, get curious and honest.

Then ask yourself: Why this story? Why now?

Is the audience and timing appropriate? Don't derail the energy. Read the room.

Is this story worth telling? Keep your central message in mind throughout the story.

Am I building a through-line? Drop breadcrumbs so your listeners can relate and pick up on clues that help keep them on board throughout the story. Give yourself a thread to follow from the beginning of your story to the end.

Am I sharing too much? Avoid TMI. Keep your backstory relevant and don't over-do details that don't actually build the story.

Change your inflection and pacing to build tension. Punch up, don't be petty. Take your time and have fun.

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Day 432 || how to converse better Apr 21, 2022

Show notes

If you wanna have a good conversation with someone, you'll be present, stay confident, get curious, treat everyone like a friend, and focus more on being interested than interesting.

Find common interests and passions and get real! Bein' vulnerable helps people open up in return.

Hope today is as magic as you are. Love you, cutie!

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Day 431 || how to excuse yourself better Apr 20, 2022

Show notes

once you practice aligning your external actions with your internal self-awareness, you will get better and better at creating natural connections, but it can be helpful to know when and how to gracefully excuse yourself from a conversation that is no longer serving you.

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Day 430 || how to be more interested than interesting Apr 19, 2022

Show notes

BEING INTERESTED IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING INTERESTING.

If you're more concerned with "proving" yourself than "staying present" - you're wasting valuable time and energy.

Competence is proven through actions, behaviors, choices, and taking responsibility for mistakes in real time. We're not typically impressed with braggarts and show-offs. We see right through the inauthenticity that comes from people attempting to be "interesting".

Being someone who offers genuine interest in others and themselves from a place of earnest curiosity, is far more interesting than those who are forcing it.

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Day 429 || external self awareness strategies Apr 18, 2022

Show notes

Cultivating external self awareness comes from aligning with your internal self awareness and goals. When you know how you are - you can streamline your actions, choices, words, and behaviors to align with who you are AND what the room needs in any given moment.

Tone, volume, topics, etc. should be accounted for when building connection - but we should be able to both "read the room" and "stay aligned with our highest self" in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming.

Practice listening, keeping conversations fairly neutral, sustaining respect and objectivity when you can - and you'll feel less self-conscious and more self-aware as a result.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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Day 428 || how to self correct Apr 17, 2022

Show notes

when your internal self awareness isn't aligning with your external - you can self correct in real time to feel more safe and confident in your personal guidance system. don't be afraid to check in regularly (as objectively as possible) to ensure your external is matching up with the internal.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.