Low Demand Parenting

Latest Episodes:

Won't versus Can't: The mindset shift that changes everything Mar 03, 2025

Show notes

When I started practicing low demand parenting, it wasn’t because I read a book or found a perfect system. It was because our family hit a wall—and nothing else was working. One of the very first mindset shifts that saved me, and continues to guide me every single day, is this: shifting from won’t to can’t.

This episode is all about that shift—from believing our kids (or ourselves) won’t do something, to realizing they can’t in this moment. I unpack:

Where the “won’t” mentality comes from and why it’s so ingrained in us.
How shifting to “can’t” opens up curiosity and compassion (for your kid and yourself).
What happens in the early phases of low demand parenting when all the hidden can’ts start tumbling out.
How safety, masking, and nervous system overwhelm all play into what your child can (and can’t) do—and how that changes from moment to moment.

If you’ve ever thought, “They won’t just put their shoes on, they won’t go to bed without me, they won’t do their homework,” this episode is for you. Let’s rethink it together.

ADDITIONAL LINKS

Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (Plan B) - https://www.livesinthebalance.org
Submit a question for future episodes via SpeakPipe
Previous episode: What is Low Demand Parenting?
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

Mailbag: Toileting & body care Feb 24, 2025

Show notes

Toileting struggles, periods, and body care—these are some of the trickiest internal demands our kids face. When a child refuses to wear a seatbelt, smears poop, or struggles with managing their period, how do we support them in a way that respects their nervous system while still meeting real needs?

In this episode, I break down:

• What internal demands are and why they can be so distressing for neurodivergent kids

• How burnout impacts basic needs like sleep, eating, and toileting

• Why forcing solutions backfires—and how to approach these struggles through support, not control

• Creative, low-demand ways to navigate seatbelt struggles, poop smearing, and period care

• How parents can reduce their own stress while supporting kids who struggle with bodily functions

This episode is for every parent who’s felt like, “I can’t drop this demand, but I also can’t keep fighting this battle.”

Additional Resources:

Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

The Low Demand Parenting Podcast is your space to let go of the pressure and embrace a more joyful, authentic approach to parenting. We hope you enjoyed this episode and would be honored if you left us a review which helps us reach more parents just like you!

Marriage and PDA: Living the low demand way Feb 17, 2025

Show notes

How do you create a low-demand partnership while raising neurodivergent kids? This week, I sit down with Lindsay and Daryl Flanagan—fellow low-demand parents—who share their journey of shifting from traditional parenting to a more intuitive, needs-centered approach. We explore how dropping demands for each other and for our children has transformed their relationship and family life.

In this episode, we discuss:

✔️ Letting go of traditional expectations in relationships and parenting.

✔️ Navigating marriage when one or both partners are neurodivergent.

✔️ The power of humor, shorthand phrases, and texting in low-demand communication.

✔️ How to balance needs and avoid resentment in a partnership.

✔️ Understanding PDA in both kids and adults—and how it impacts relationships.

✔️ Why acknowledging capacity (not intent) is key to mutual respect.

If you’re wondering how to create a partnership that thrives alongside parenting neurodivergent kids, this episode is for you! 🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts!

More Resources:

Follow Lindsay (with cameos from Daryl) on Instagram
Discover Lindsay’s courses, coaching, and community through Hive Parents
Brooke from No Pressure PDA – insight on humor as a signal of safety.
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

Trusting Their 'No' Feb 10, 2025

Show notes

In this heartfelt and insightful episode, I dive into the essential work of teaching our kids to trust themselves, even when the world tells them otherwise. Using real-life examples, I share how traditional parenting approaches—like pushing through discomfort or faking calm—can break trust and escalate stress. Instead, I advocate for dropping the demands, honoring a child’s “no,” and embracing co-regulation as a path to healing and connection.

You’ll learn:

Why your child’s meltdowns are not your fault and how to reframe them as panic responses.
The power of honoring your child’s body cues and trusting their “no.”
How traditional ideas like “pushing through” can harm sensitive kids.
Why co-regulation is about authenticity, not forced calm.
Practical ways to stay connected to your child, even when their distress is distressing you.

This episode is a permission slip to drop the weight of perfectionism and embrace honest, boundaried, and compassionate parenting.

Mailbag: Coming Out of Burnout Feb 03, 2025

Show notes

Episode Resources:

Aligning with Yourself Course: Designed to help you shed perfectionism and show up in your truth, this course supports you through tough seasons like burnout. [Learn more here]
Episode 11: Burnout Doesn't Last Forever.

In this listener mailbag episode, I tackle the tough questions about phase two of burnout recovery—what I call Curious but No Capacity. This is the messy middle where your child starts to re-engage with the world but lacks the skills or energy to follow through fully. I explore:

Differentiating “hard” vs. “too hard” and why it matters
How to honor your child’s desires while protecting their capacity
Finding creative, flexible solutions to navigate burnout recovery
Advocating for your child in spaces that weren’t built for them
The importance of trust, collaboration, and dropping demands

Key Takeaways:

Burnout Recovery Isn’t Linear: Expect one step forward and two steps back—it’s all part of the process.
Hard vs. Too Hard: Learn how to assess your child’s capacity and build safety before tackling challenges.
Advocacy Matters: Find ways to prepare others to support your child’s unique needs in shared spaces.
The Middle Path: Move beyond “yes or no” decisions to a collaborative approach with your child.

Find More About Low Demand:

Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

The Hard Stuff: Parenting grief and shame Jan 27, 2025

Show notes

In this honest and heartfelt conversation with clinical psychologist and author Dr. Emma Svanberg, known online as the "Mumologist," we explore the intersection of grief and parenting. Emma shares her journey from studying attachment theory to supporting parents in navigating the overwhelming pressures of modern parenting. Together, we unpack the grief that arises when reality doesn’t match our idealized parenting fantasies, the importance of slowing down, and the power of self-compassion.

Emma and Amanda discuss:

How parenting grief reshapes our identities.
Signs of unprocessed grief in parents, including resentment, disconnection, and autopilot living.
The myth of calm parenting and the pressure it places on parents.
Why self-compassion and community are essential for breaking cycles and creating change.

This episode is an invitation to honor the messy, beautiful, and deeply human work of parenting—and to give yourself grace along the way.

Links Mentioned:

Emma’s book: Parenting for Humans
Find Emma Svanberg, also known as the "Mumologist," on Instagram.

Additional Resources:

Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

Untigering and Low Demand Parenting Jan 13, 2025

Show notes

In a lovely and inspiring conversation on The Low Demand Parenting Podcast, Amanda Diekman sits down with Iris Chen, founder of Untigering, to discuss her journey from authoritarian parenting to a radically respectful and connected approach. Together, they explore:

Detoxing from authoritarian and fear-based parenting
Breaking free from the "good girl" and "good mom" identities
Letting go of obedience as a measure of success
Building meaningful relationships across generational and cultural divides
Embracing radical acceptance in parenting and beyond

Iris shares her personal story, the challenges of parenting in countercultural ways, and the importance of living your values to inspire change. Whether you're navigating parenting, breaking cycles, or creating your own family culture, this episode will leave you inspired to step into radical acceptance and connection.

Aligning With Yourself: Break free from 'shoulds.' Step into your power.

This innovative course about letting go of the guilt, shame, and “shoulds” that keep us stuck in an identity that no longer serves us. With insightful journaling pages, fresh mindfulness exercises, and engaging rituals, this course is for parents who are tired of performing, tired of people-pleasing, and ready to reclaim their energy, their identity, and their truth.

Main Topics Discussed:

Detoxing from fear-based, authoritarian parenting paradigms
Shifting from controlling outcomes to embracing connection and safety
The journey of healing childhood wounds to parent differently
Addressing cultural and generational challenges in parenting transitions
Practical ways to hold boundaries with respect and nuance
How to embody radical acceptance in relationships

Resources Mentioned:

Iris Chen’s book: Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent
Iris Chen’s website: Untigering
Follow Iris on social media:

Additional Resources:

Low Demand Reset (Free Gift): www.amandadiekman.com/reset
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

Burnout doesn't last forever. Jan 06, 2025

Show notes

Burnout can feel endless and all-consuming, both for children experiencing it and for the parents navigating it alongside them. In this solo episode, I’m sharing four key steps to understand and support your child’s journey out of burnout. We’ll tackle common misconceptions, unpack what burnout truly is, and explore how to create a healing cocoon of safety and love. I’ll also outline the stages of recovery and offer practical tools to meet your child where they are. Burnout is challenging, but it’s also transformative—and together, we can embrace this journey with compassion, hope, and acceptance.

Aligning With Yourself: Break free from 'shoulds.' Step into your power.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Additional Resources:

Low Demand Reset (Free Gift): www.amandadiekman.com/reset
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

Embracing Our "Spiky-Profile" Kids Dec 30, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of The Low Demand Parenting Podcast, Amanda Diekman welcomes Debbie Reber, founder of Tilt Parenting and author of Differently Wired. Together, they delve into the unique challenges and strengths of raising twice-exceptional (2E) kids—children who are both gifted and neurodivergent. From understanding asynchrony to fostering self-advocacy and embracing parenting as activism, this episode offers invaluable insights for parents navigating the complexity of 2E parenting.

Episode Highlights:

What it means to be twice-exceptional (2E) and how to recognize it.
Understanding the asynchrony between giftedness and lagging skills.
How parents can reframe perplexing behavior as a sign of lagging skills rather than willful disobedience.
Encouraging self-discovery and self-advocacy in 2E kids.
Advocating for systemic change to better support differently wired children.
The importance of self-compassion and conscious maintenance for parents.

Resources Mentioned:

Tilt Parenting Website
Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World by Debbie Reber
Tilt Parenting Podcast
Articles and resources on twice-exceptionality available at Tilt Parenting.

Follow Debbie Reber:

Instagram: @TiltParenting
Facebook: Tilt Parenting Community

Additional Resources:

Low Demand Reset (Free Gift): www.amandadiekman.com/reset
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

Holiday Mailbag: Santa secrets, food woes, and surviving the season Dec 23, 2024

Show notes

In this special Holiday Mailbag episode, Amanda Diekman answers listener questions about navigating the holidays as a low-demand parent. From food struggles to Santa dilemmas, and handling judgment in public, Amanda offers compassionate insights and practical strategies for making this season work for your unique family.

Key topics include:

Supporting kids with PDA who struggle with eating.
Navigating the Santa conversation when siblings are at different stages.
Handling partner disagreements about parenting approaches during high-stress times.
Advocating for your parenting style and setting boundaries in public.

If you’re looking for ways to drop the pressure and embrace connection this holiday season, this episode is for you.

Additional Resources:

Low Demand Reset (Free Gift): www.amandadiekman.com/reset
Low Demand Parenting book: a love letter to exhausted, overwhelmed parents everywhere. Get the first chapter free!
Why is everything with my kid so hard?: Take the quiz to find your first step forward!
Low Demand Parenting Blog: a treasure trove of low demand wisdom

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