LOVE IS FEARLESS

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#088: Reclaiming The Lost Art of Personal Responsibility Mar 04, 2020

Show notes

In a culture of love, we grow in our capacity for responsibility. In a culture of fear, we are non-responsive to the things that are important, or we react instead of respond.

In this episode, we wrestle with some difficult topics as we offer five guidelines for personal responsibility in a culture of love.

I am responsible for building trust in relationship with others.
I am responsible for resolving my own emotions.
I am responsible for participating in my own healing.
I am responsible for participating in my own maturity.
I am responsible for setting boundaries in personal relationships.

"I am responsible" can be spoken in freedom, not fear. In the words of Polly Hamp, "There is more to you than the story that has been written through trauma. You can begin to write a new story when you choose to heal on purpose. (HOP Box/Healing on Purpose)

Consider these TAKEAWAYS as you wrestle with us about what's happening in our world today and what RESPONSE-ABILITY means in a culture of love.

In a culture of fear, we've traded manipulation for responsibility. In a culture of love, I'm able to respond because I know who I am--not just because I'm trying to earn or deserve and not because I'm trying to destroy you. A culture of fear is always self-serving; in a culture of love, we are all served.
Fear convinces us our view of justice is just. Without taking responsibility for our own healing, our version of justice will serve us and devalue others. We'll have a view that manipulates and shames for our personal gain or to balance the scales without forgiveness. Justice is never real without forgiveness. Without forgiveness, someone is always in bondage.
Maturity is about sorting through what I need and what I want. It's about admitting when what I think I need is really just a pain killer or a shame salve. Maturity means I've learned the value of pushing through what's uncomfortable to land in a place where it's possible to live free and be trusted--not simply comfortable.

We mention these resources in this episode:

Janet's blog post/Reclaiming The Lost Art of Personal Responsibility https://www.janetnewberry.com/post/reclaiming-the-lost-art-of-personal-responsibility

https://www.janetnewberry.com/

https://www.john15academy.com/

https://www.loveisfearless.com/

Thank you for sharing LOVE IS FEARLESS with your friends and family. Together, there is great hope.

#087: Where To Start When Life Isn't Working Out Feb 26, 2020

Show notes

The origin of the word "frantic" is a word that means "insane/gone mad." In a culture of fear, life gets noisy and feels frantic. Sometimes it seems we're at war with ourselves.

Who we are and how we spend our lives gets out of sync. We need some quiet to decide which way to shift—away from what has become normal, that feels anything but healthy. QUIET is a gift in a culture of love.

Will you give yourself permission to trust some quiet time to synchronize your life in a way that feels like peace, instead of war?

When we intentionally allow our thoughts to wander in quiet times, we can discover what's out of sync. We can settle on a foundation of core values that remind us who we are and what we believe.

And moving forward, we can choose a road map that helps us position ourselves differently in relationships so that our lives move in the direction of our values, instead of just in the direction of the noise.

This episode offers some helpful ideas about discovering your own core values and also gives a clear roadmap that works in sync with the way the human heart was designed to live in peace. We also offer these 4 TAKEAWAYS:

This week's key principle is: Sync your life with truth. Ask for help when you feel like you're stuck in a ditch. One simple adjustment can bring great relief. Adjust in the direction of truth. Love will help you.
We often become "famous" while we are still immature—or when we're wounded. We sometimes forget that immaturity is not how the human heart is wired to thrive. Immaturity is a season; not a ditch to die in.
Learning to live in alignment with your values isn't always convenient, but it's affirming and empowering. It's not easy, but it's simple when the truth is clear.
Fighting against lies is not the same thing as living in truth. Truth is something we learn from a source we trust. It is when we live in truth that others benefit from our strength—and grow stronger, too.

Thank you for joining us to build cultures of love around the world. JOIN THE CAUSE at https://loveisfearless.com/

We mention these resources in this episode:

How To Sync Your Life With Your Values by Janet Newberry

https://www.janetnewberry.com/post/how-to-sync-your-life-with-your-values

7 Reasons Why You Need Quiet Time

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-reasons-why-you-need-quiet-time/

Mercy Me—Best News Ever https://youtu.be/XyBMEDKiKaI

#086: Why Love Is The Only Weapon Against Self-Sabotage Feb 19, 2020

Show notes

John Lynch is our special guest on this powerful episode that offers freedom in the way only love can. John is one of our favorite authors, a dear friend, and one of the few people in the world who can talk about "permission and protection" in a way that has the potential to unlock a lifetime of bondage.

Many of us would make a 100 on a true/false test if the quiz asked if we knew that cheating was wrong, too much alcohol is bad for us, anger can be hurtful, or if pornography destroys trust. We all KNOW.

And we still give ourselves permission to do what we KNOW is wrong--unless we are protected by someone we ALLOW to protect us--and to help us change our minds about doing what we've always done. THIS is the power of LOVE.

Join us on this funny and potentially life-changing episode with John Lynch and linger in these TAKEAWAYS:

Awareness of one's issues is not permission to address them. I must seek and receive permission to address the issues of others. (Trueface)
Protection is earned permission I give someone I trust to see behind the mask and hear the real struggle and all the lies I tell myself when I give myself permission to fail.
Accountability, except in a job description, is simply a function of law. It causes me to hide from and resent those who love me most and whom I need most.

We mention these resources in this episode:

John Lynch Speaks-- https://www.johnlynchspeaks.com/

https://www.facebook.com/JohnLynchSpeaks/

On My Worst Day: Cheesecake, Evil, Sandy Koufax, and Jesus by John Lynch https://smile.amazon.com/My-Worst-Day-Cheesecake-Koufax/dp/1934104078/

The Cure: What if God isn't who you think He is? and neither are you? By John Lynch, Bruce McNicol, and Bill Thrall

https://smile.amazon.com/Cure-What-isnt-think-neither/dp/1934104086/

The Cure & Parents https://smile.amazon.com/Cure-Parents-Bill-Thrall/dp/1934104094/

Two Roads - on YouTube (full length) https://youtu.be/Rfy03PEVUhQ

(shorter version) https://youtu.be/mOJ1wUcP804

#085: What Does Love Protect? Feb 12, 2020

Show notes

Protection is a gift of love that can get lost in a culture of fear. Fear is the voice that demands we have no boundaries. Without boundaries, identity gets confusing and lies boldly claim their place as truth.

When we're confused about truth, we're confused about what to protect and what to expose. Unprotected, harm happens. Hurt happens. Exposure invites injury--sometimes to our souls.

We don't have a choice today to be changed...or not. Today, we will grow stronger or weaker. Our choice is to be changed by the power of love or the power of fear.

This episode moves some fences in the way love does--to protect what fear wants to expose. Join us for this powerful conversation and linger in these TAKEAWAYS:

The definition of freedom includes this idea: "not being imprisoned or enslaved." We will not be free without the protection love offers. Love offers truth in a way that can be trusted. Truth helps us recognize the lies that want to convince us they are our servants, but these lies are not designed to serve us...only to enslave us.
3 things LOVE considers when it protects what it loves: (1) Will this make you stronger? or weaker? (2) Will this keep you safe? or put you in a place of unhealthy vulnerability? or in danger of being taken advantage of in a way that is bigger than you're ready to handle? (3) Will this free your life or put you in bondage?
In a culture of love, we experience protection and learn to offer protection. In a culture of fear, we are exposed in harmful ways.

We mention these resources in this episode:

Seth Godin's blog post, Being Stuck Is Reasonable - https://seths.blog/2019/09/being-stuck-is-reasonable/

Janet's new website - https://www.janetnewberry.com/

Janet's blog post, How To Teach Our Children About Consequences. https://www.janetnewberry.com/post/how-to-teach-children-about-consequences

Breakpoint's blog post about the Super Bowl halftime show.

https://breakpoint.org/j-lo-and-shakiras-super-bowl-performance-and-our-cultures-mixed-messages/

Janet's book about offering education without fear - https://smile.amazon.com/Education-Design-Not-Default-Fearless/dp/057840835X/

#084: 3 Questions To Help You Discover Your Purpose Feb 05, 2020

Show notes

Fear invites us to experience life differently than love does. What we experience, we will share. You're in the right place if you want to experience and share love--not fear.

You're in the right place if you're hungry to discover your true PURPOSE in life and, perhaps, let go of an invalid identity that's wearing you out and keeping you afraid.

In this episode, I share a vulnerable story from my childhood about an experience that offered me an invalid identity. And I admit that my real destiny just sat waiting for me while I pretended my purpose was something God never said it was.

Doug and I share our own answers to 3 powerful questions that can help you discover your purpose, too, in a world without fear, and we offer these TAKEAWAYS:

"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about unbecoming everything that isn't you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place." (unknown)
"Fear makes us see things that aren't there, imagine things that'll never happen, connect dots and draw conclusions that are absolutely incorrect. Love opens up our hearts to trust our loving Father. Love inspires us to believe the best, not fear the worst. Spend some time pondering the love God has for you." (Susie Larson)
Spend some time journaling about these 3 questions: (1) Who am I when no one needs me? (2) What is my most passionate YES? (3) What is my most powerful NO?

We mention these resources in this episode:

Bob Hamp and Think Differently Academy

https://www.facebook.com/ThinkDifferentlyAcademy/

The Road Back To You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile https://smile.amazon.com/Road-Back-You-Enneagram-Self-Discovery/dp/0830846190

To Be Told--God Invites You To Coauthor Your Future by Dan B. Allender

https://smile.amazon.com/Be-Told-Invites-Coauthor-Future/dp/1578569516/

The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck https://smile.amazon.com/Road-Less-Traveled-Timeless-Traditional/dp/0743243153/

Grace Life Fellowship https://www.facebook.com/GraceLifeFellowship/

Also, check out my new website https://janetnewberry.com/ We're excited about the update!

#083: How To Break The Cycle of Stress Jan 29, 2020

Show notes

The power of love holds the secret to completing the stress response cycle and experiencing long-term healing from real stress. In this episode, we'll tell you more about this one BIG reason to keep choosing love over fear.

Here's what research is teaching us: learning to power through stress isn't enough. Even learning to eliminate some sources of stress won't provide all the relief we need because there will always be tension and trauma we can't avoid. Unavoidable stress--left unresolved, will make us sick.

There is great hope. We can find ways to experience LOVE in trusting relationships and eliminate the toxic hormone explosion that happens when we're under stress.

When we nourish our hearts, minds, and souls with LOVE--our bodies chemically experience a kind of "coming home." This completes the stress response cycle in our physical bodies and helps us avoid staying stuck in wounded-ness, insecurity, anxiety, and immaturity.

Join us to find out more about this "love one another" miracle and linger in these TAKEAWAYS:

Oxytocin is the stuff we need to complete the stress response cycle. Without oxytocin, we'll stay stuck--in wounded-ness, insecurity, anxiety, and immaturity.
Immature people don't recognize the same long-term implications of radical ideas that mature people do. Maturity comes from love, not success.
Wounded people hurt people. Restored people restore people. Love is the source of restoration.

We mention these resources in this episode:

The Gift In You by Dr. Caroline Leaf https://smile.amazon.com/Gift-You-Discovering-Through-Hidden/dp/0981956734/

Trees in the tub: Try "bathing" in nature to reduce stress

https://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/news/story/40401/20200118/trees-in-the-tub-try-bathing-in-nature-to-reduce-stress

Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReRcHdeUG9Y

Our work to build schools without fear https://www.john15academy.com/about

Thank you for sharing the LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast with your friends and family. Together, there is great hope.

#082: Building A Life That Nourishes Your Soul Jan 22, 2020

Show notes

"We keep doing good...thinking it will make us good." Those are the words written on an index card laying on the desk in our living room.

This one idea is the fundamental flaw that upends our cultural compass, sends us to bed both exhausted and sick, and keeps us in racial and religious bondage.

In a culture of love, we're beginning to experience the power of a different reality. Truth tells us we don't become good by doing good; rather, we become good because of what we trust and receive--in relationships.

When we trust and receive:

strength, we become strong.

protection, we become protectors.

safety in relationships, we become safe people in relationships.

And, when we trust and receive:

fear as a motivator, we become anxious.

shame, we become afraid to fail.

trivial pursuits, we live meaningless lives.

Join us on this episode to find the hope LOVE offers for moving us out of the stress cycle that fear wants us stuck in. Linger in these TAKEAWAYS that remind us to nourish our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls:

"Wellness is not a state of being. It is not a state of mind. It is a state of action. The cure for burnout is not self-care. It's all of us caring for each other." (A quote from Emily Nagoski.)
A life of love happens when we choose the experiences, the food and drink, the risks and choices that love offers...instead of the experiences, the food and drink, the risks and choices that fear offers. So many of the choices that fear offers have become false traditions--and addictions, and have, therefore built a culture of fear. With collective intentionality, we can change the world and build a culture of love.
In a culture of love, we can learn to ask ourselves: "Do I really need more? Or do I need something different?" We can learn to nourish our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls...with love. We can love one another in these ways, too.

We mention these resources in this episode:

YOU can buy a LOVE IS FEARLESS t-shirt! https://www.loveisfearless.com/shop

NPR Author Interviews--"Beating Burnout: Sisters Write Book To Help Women Overcome Stress Cycle". https://www.npr.org/2019/05/05/720490364/to-help-women-kick-burnout-sisters-write-book-to-understanding-stress-cycle

Seth Godin's blog post: "Confusing Hunger and Thirst".

https://seths.blog/2020/01/confusing-hunger-and-thirst/

Education by Design, Not Default--How Brave Love Creates Fearless Learning by Janet Newberry https://smile.amazon.com/Education-Design-Not-Default-Fearless/dp/057840835X/

Thank you for sharing the LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast with your friends and family. Together, there is great hope.

#081: MIRACLES--A Conversation With Sports Psychologist David Cook Jan 15, 2020

Show notes

It doesn't seem reasonable that we'd have a conversation with a top sports psychologist and peak performance coach when our topic this week is MIRACLES and the power of LOVE.

It's NOT reasonable. It's a miracle!

David Cook is a speaker, consultant, coach, author, and film-maker in the field of Sport and Performance Psychology. He served as "Mental Training Coach" for the San Antonio Spurs from 1996 – 2004 that included two World Championships.

Golf Digest (2013) named him one of the "Top 10 Mental Game Experts" in the world of golf. He has coached several of the Tour's top players.

His message for our LOVE IS FEARLESS community is FREEDOM from fear. It's the same message he shares with his clients--who win! David is a great storyteller. He is generous with us in this episode and we are honored.

Join us now to connect the dots between LOVE and fearless FREEDOM and find real strength in these TAKEAWAYS:

Building a culture of love requires us to make room for miracles. Miracles are those supernatural things that change us from what we were--weak and wounded, to what we can be--strong and healthy. LOVE always makes us strong.
"The battle has begun, but remember, it is not your battle. See His Face, Feel His Presence, Trust His Love." (A quote from Golf's Sacred Journey--The Sequel to Seven Days in Utopia by David Cook.)
Building a culture of love invites us to be on the lookout for miracles--and call them what they are. Miracles are unreasonable. They are real experiences that we can't manufacture on our own. Miracles are the byproduct of trust and love--and they remind us we're not the only player in the arena. LOVE is here!

We mention these resources in this episode:

Links of Utopia https://www.linksofutopia.com/

Golf's Sacred Journey--The Sequel by David Cook (book)https://www.linksofutopia.com/golfs-sacred-journey-the-sequel

Seven Days In Utopia by David Cook (book) https://www.linksofutopia.com/seven-days-in-utopia

Seven Days In Utopia -- the movie. Now available on Amazon Prime/videos.

Education by Design, Not Default--How Brave Love Creates Fearless Learning by Janet Newberry https://smile.amazon.com/Education-Design-Not-Default-Fearless/dp/057840835X/

Thank you for sharing the LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast and website with your friends and community. Together, there is great hope. https://www.loveisfearless.com/

#080: Why Laughter Is The Best Medicine Jan 08, 2020

Show notes

Every week we're offering new discoveries about the power of love, how we can practically CHOOSE LOVE, and how we can become aware of the ways we're choosing fear--without even knowing it.

L stands for laughter in the LIF alphabet and it may be more powerful than we think.

As living beings, we literally vibrate with energetic frequency. The body resonates at a frequency between 62 to 72 Hz when healthy. Disease starts at 58 Hz. Death begins at 25 Hz. And, there is a good reason for the expression "scared to death" because the frequency of fear is 19 Hz.

When we experience low-frequency emotions, it's important to know how to return to a healthy state to protect against chronic health problems. The frequency of laughter is 270 Hz and the frequency of love is 528 Hz. Laughter is indeed great medicine!

Join us for this fun episode about the power of laughter and linger in these TAKEAWAYS:

When your children tune out anything that smells like a lecture--laughter is a great way to reconnect.
Laughter is a fun way to add the power of LOVE to the atmosphere. Ridicule makes someone else pay for our laughter. Instead of adding energy to relationships, everyone loses.
LOVE is a force of energy. It is so much more than a feeling or an emotion. LOVE is a POWER. Every time we risk what LOVE requires, we unleash a force in the universe that must be reckoned with. It is impossible for LOVE to not have an effect...for good.

We mention these great resources in this episode:

"What are the signs of low vibration?" https://sarahnegus.com/what-are-the-signs-of-low-vibration/

A Book of Courtesy: The Art of Living With Yourself and Others by Sister Mary Mercedes https://smile.amazon.com/Book-Courtesy-Living-Yourself-Others/

LOVE IS FEARLESS t-shirts and hoodies! https://www.loveisfearless.com/shop

Irresistible by Andy Stanley https://smile.amazon.com/Irresistible-Reclaiming-Jesus-Unleashed-World/dp/0310536979/

Our work to build schools without fear https://www.john15academy.com/

Thank for sharing this LIF episode with your friends and helping us build a world without fear.

#079: How Does Fear Make Us Weak? Jan 01, 2020

Show notes

Welcome to the ROARING 20s! We hope this decade will be remembered as the time in history when LOVE roared louder than fear. Together, there is great hope.

Most new year's resolutions involve self-discipline and are motivated by a lack of satisfaction with life as we're experiencing it right now.

CHOOSING LOVE OVER FEAR is a resolution that involves more self-awareness than self-discipline--and here's something we're willing to guarantee by the end of 2020:

When you become fluent in love the way you are now fluent in fear, you're going to notice a change in yourself and your relationships. The healthy parts of you are going to get stronger. The weak parts are going to get stronger, too. That's a benefit of being really KNOWN.

We are created for INTIMACY and IMPACT and we can experience this full and free life in a culture of love. Join us in this first LIF episode of 2020, and look clearly at these TAKEAWAYS:

LOVE can't help us if we don't let others close enough to do two things: 1. Have real conversations and ask for help. 2. Have real conversations and give someone we trust permission to speak into our blindspots and protect us from the lies we've believed for a long time.
FEAR fights for and protects CONTROL. LOVE fights for and protects FREEDOM. We must learn to recognize the signs and symptoms of a culture of fear and respond by intentionally building a culture of love.
Fear will roar loudly in 2020, and we can choose to be part of a stronger roar. This decade can be remembered as a time in history when love roared louder than fear. We can orchestrate a decade of roaring 20s that leaves our country, its citizens, and the world a stronger place--instead of a place made vulnerable by the constant attacks of fear.

We mention these resources in this episode:

Education by Design, Not Default--How Brave Love Creates Fearless Learning by Janet Newberry

A quote from this video by our friends at Trueface: "What if there was a place so safe you could share the worst parts of you and you would be loved more in the telling of it?"

https://youtu.be/5MFCrDcIaCg

Thank you for sharing LOVE IS FEARLESS with your friends and community. Please consider becoming a monthly donor to support this LIF movement. Together, we can build a world without fear. https://www.loveisfearless.com/helpus

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