Little French Jelly Death Match

JAM.24: Chestnut Orange Dec 24, 2022

'Twas the jam before Jam-mas, when all through the jam / Not a jam was jamming, not even a jam; / The jam were jam by the jam with jam, / Jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam. It's the grand finale of "Little French Jelly Death Match" and today Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the twenty-fourth of 23 jams and 1 honey, and then never eat jam ever again. Merry Christmas and thanks for joining us on this delightful journey!

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Cherry Christmas Spice (66) -- 6-day jampion

2. Strawberry Star Anise (65)

3. Orange Cinnamon (63)

4. Mirabelle Plum Spice (58) -- tie at #4

4. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- tie at #4

6. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

7. White Nectarine Peach Lemon Verbena (47) -- tie at #7

7. Fig Cardamom (47) -- tie at #7

9. Apricot Peach (45)

10. Cherry Elderflower (44)

11. Strawberry Verbena (43)

12. Apricot Bergamot (42) - tie at #12

12. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #12

12. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #12

12. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #12

12. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #12

17. Peach Mint (40)

18. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

19. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

20. Mango Raspberry Lime (32) -- tie at #20

20. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32) -- tie at #20

22. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.23: Mango Raspberry Lime Dec 23, 2022

I'm going to be quite honest. Mango Raspberry Lime? What are we doing here? On this, the eve of Christmas Eve? This couldn't have come earlier in the calendar? Who's programming this thing? What's happening? If this were the AV Club, you'd be getting a C-, Bonne Maman. Step it up. Anyway, "Little French Jelly Death Match" is almost over, and before this feed reverts back to seltzer stuff Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk are trying the twenty-third of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Cherry Christmas Spice (66) -- 5-day jampion

2. Strawberry Star Anise (65)

3. Orange Cinnamon (63)

4. Mirabelle Plum Spice (58) -- tie at #4

4. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- tie at #4

6. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

7. White Nectarine Peach Lemon Verbena (47) -- tie at #7

7. Fig Cardamom (47) -- tie at #7

9. Apricot Peach (45)

10. Cherry Elderflower (44)

11. Strawberry Verbena (43)

12. Apricot Bergamot (42) - tie at #12

12. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #12

12. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #12

12. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #12

12. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #12

17. Peach Mint (40)

18. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

19. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

20. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

21. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.22: Strawberry Star Anise Dec 22, 2022

First, a jellyfish fact has washed up on the beach of this podcast. After we have some fun learning about marine biology, we try some more jam because that's all we do or have ever done with our lives. Time is running out to be named the best jam before Christmas! And today, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk dive into the twenty-second of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Cherry Christmas Spice (66) -- 4-day jampion

2. Orange Cinnamon (63)

3. Mirabelle Plum Spice (58) -- tie at #3

3. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- tie at #3

5. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

6. White Nectarine Peach Lemon Verbena (47) -- tie at #6

6. Fig Cardamom (47) -- tie at #6

8. Apricot Peach (45)

9. Cherry Elderflower (44)

10. Strawberry Verbena (43)

11. Apricot Bergamot (42) - tie at #11

11. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #11

11. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #11

11. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #11

11. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #11

16. Peach Mint (40)

17. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

18. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

19. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

20. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.21: White Nectarine Peach Lemon Verbena Dec 21, 2022

The font size has never been smaller as Bonne Maman throws every fucking ingredient it has into one jam. The end is near and they need to clear out the pantry, plus all the jams have been good lately, so let's cut them some slack. In this episode, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the twenty-first of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Cherry Christmas Spice (66) -- 3-day jampion

2. Orange Cinnamon (63)

3. Mirabelle Plum Spice (58) -- tie at #3

3. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- tie at #3

5. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

6. Fig Cardamom (47)

7. Apricot Peach (45)

8. Cherry Elderflower (44)

9. Strawberry Verbena (43)

10. Apricot Bergamot (42) - tie at #10

10. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #10

10. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #10

10. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #10

10. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #10

15. Peach Mint (40)

16. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

17. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

18. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

19. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.20: Mirabelle Plum Spice Dec 20, 2022

Why is Christmas in December? We'll clear that up. And then... the return of Mirabelle Plum! The return of spice! Could this team-up skyrocket to the top of the charts? Find out as "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues -- a podcast no one asked for, but Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk are making anyway. It's the twentieth of 23 jams and 1 honey, and oh boy, we can hear the sleigh bells already.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Cherry Christmas Spice (66) -- 2-day jampion

2. Orange Cinnamon (63)

3. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58)

4. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

5. Fig Cardamom (47)

6. Apricot Peach (45)

7. Cherry Elderflower (44)

8. Strawberry Verbena (43)

9. Apricot Bergamot (42) - tie at #9

9. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #9

9. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #9

9. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #9

9. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #9

14. Peach Mint (40)

15. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

16. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

17. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

18. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.19: Orange Cinnamon Dec 19, 2022

Before we begin this episode, a quick note about the gender binary we've been opening the past 18 episodes with. This is an inclusive jam podcast, welcoming to all genders of jammers, and we apologize to those who felt left out. No one has said anything, but just in case. Also, it's time to try the nineteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Cherry Christmas Spice (66)

2. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58)

3. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

4. Fig Cardamom (47)

5. Apricot Peach (45)

6. Cherry Elderflower (44)

7. Strawberry Verbena (43)

8. Apricot Bergamot (42) - tie at #8

8. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #8

8. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #8

8. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #8

8. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #8

13. Peach Mint (40)

14. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

15. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

16. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

17. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.18: Cherry Christmas Spice Dec 18, 2022

Please welcome to the stage: Cherry Christmas Spice! It's looking good for holiday spirit, because "Christmas" is literally in the name of this jam. Before Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try this eighteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey, they discuss the Biblical origins of Hanukkah and the existential dread of Lego.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 13-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Cherry Elderflower (44)

6. Strawberry Verbena (43)

7. Apricot Bergamot (42) - tie at #7

7. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #7

7. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #7

7. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #7

7. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #7

12. Peach Mint (40)

13. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

14. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

15. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

16. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.17: Peach Mint Dec 17, 2022

Whew, that new Avatar movie was quite something, huh? I do think there could have been some more jam in it. Really, just not enough jam. What's going on, James, did you blow the entire budget on special effects and couldn't afford to put down a few Washingtons for a jar of fruit spread? Anyway, this isn't Rotten Tomatoes, it's a jam podcast that used to be a seltzer podcast. Today, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the seventeenth of 23 jams and 1 honey. 2/3 down, 1/3 to go, ho ho ho.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 12-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Cherry Elderflower (44)

6. Strawberry Verbena (43)

7. Apricot Bergamot (42) - tie at #7

7. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #7

7. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #7

7. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #7

7. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #7

12. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

13. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

14. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

15. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.16: Apricot Bergamot Dec 16, 2022

Things got POSH up in this advent calendar! Apricot!? Bergamot!?!? What is this, Saks Fifth Avenue!!????!? Get ready to feel like you're definitely part of the problem in our capitalist hellscape in this episode of "Little French Jelly Death Match." Today's consumers, as always, are Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk. And they're going to taste the sixteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 11-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Cherry Elderflower (44)

6. Strawberry Verbena (43)

7. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #7

7. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #7

7. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #7

7. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #7

11. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

12. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

13. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

14. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.15: Strawberry Verbena Dec 15, 2022

How long does jam keep? Today we'll give you the FDA's official guidelines on jam safety so you can know whether it's time to throw out the remnants of that Day 1 Rhubarb Strawberry spread. Plus, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk will stuff their maws with the fifteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey. "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues!

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 10-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Cherry Elderflower (44)

6. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #6

6. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #6

6. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #6

6. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #6

10. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

11. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

12. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

13. Grapefruit Dragonfruit (24)

JAM.14: Grapefruit Dragonfruit Dec 14, 2022

Here there be dragons! Dragons-fruits, that is! If you've never seen a dragonfruit, you probably weren't on Instagram about 5 years ago, back when it was about people taking pictures of cool-looking food truck stuff, before it became 100% shirtless selfies. If you liked that run-on sentence you'll love this episode of "Little French Jelly Death Match," as Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the fourteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 9-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Cherry Elderflower (44)

6. Pineapple Yuzu (42) - tie at #6

6. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #6

6. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #6

6. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #6

10. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

11. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

12. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.13: Pineapple Yuzu Dec 13, 2022

Her again? Yuzu continues to try to get into our good graces, this time by hitching its wagon to pineapple. Will it find more success than when it teamed up with orange and grapefruit, or is this a sequel that's worse than the first? Find out as Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the thirteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 8-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Cherry Elderflower (44)

6. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #6

6. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #6

6. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #6

9. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

10. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

11. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.12: Cherry Elderflower Dec 12, 2022

Forget St. Nicholas, today it's all about St. Germain as we slam back some elderflower jam. It's also the UN's International Day of Neutrality. What are you neutral about today? Have you ever put your car in neutral? I think I've only ever done it by accident. I honestly don't know what that gear is for. Maybe if you're getting towed or something? It's day 12 which means Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk are enjoying the twelfth of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 7-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #5

5. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #5

5. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #5

8. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

9. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

10. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.11: Interlude Dec 11, 2022

We're almost halfway until Christmas, a great time to take a little break from the grind of eating jam after jam and check in on our mental and physical health. Also, how are you doing? You don't have to say if you don't want to, maybe just sit and think about it. Thank you for listening to "Little French Jelly Death Match," only 9,900 more listeners and we can monetize this baby.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 7-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #5

5. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #5

5. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #5

8. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

9. Apple Caramel Cinnamon (34)

10. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.10: Apple Caramel Cinnamon Dec 10, 2022

We begin today's not-about-seltzer episode with a game about the most popular jam flavors. Can YOU guess them all? CAN YOU? I need to know because I'm being held captive and they'll only let me go if I can guess the most popular jam flavors. Please help! In the meantime, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk will try the tenth of 23 jams and 1 honey in their quest to find the best jam before Christmas.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 6-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Orange Mandarin (42) - tie at #5

5. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #5

5. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #5

8. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

9. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.09: Orange Mandarin Dec 09, 2022

Go to the ATM machine to grab some cash money for a chai tea to enjoy alongside your jelly jam, because today's unnecessarily repetitive fruit spread is Orange Mandarin. In case you're wondering how this podcast got into your smart phone, "Little French Jelly Death Match" has taken over the Seltzer Death Match feed. Today, your special hosts Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk will try the ninth of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 5-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Fig Cardamom (47)

4. Apricot Peach (45)

5. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #5

5. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #5

7. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

8. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.08: Fig Cardamom Dec 08, 2022

Bring us some figgy pudding? More like, bring us some fig cardamom jam! Also, if you didn't know the horrifying truth about figs and wasps before, you will after listening to today's pod. Good luck sleeping tonight. Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk continue our special holiday "Little French Jelly Death Match" with the eighth of 23 jams and 1 honey. Merry Christmas or whatever!

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 4-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Apricot Peach (45)

4. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42) - tie at #4

4. Peach Jasmine Flower (42) - tie at #4

6. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

7. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.07: Peach Jasmine Flower Dec 07, 2022

Yum yum, more goopy Band-Aids! The race to become Christmas's Next Jam Superstar is heating up as a new jam steps into the spotlight. Her name is Peach Jasmine Flower and she does not mess around. Colloid? I don't know his phone number. Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the seventh of 23 jams and 1 honey as this very extremely special holiday event continues.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 3-day jampion

2. Strawberry and Redcurrant (54)

3. Apricot Peach (45)

4. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42)

5. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

6. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.06: Strawberry and Redcurrant Dec 06, 2022

How many times have you been run over by a reindeer? Also, what's pectin? The competition is getting sweet! "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues with Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk's important work to find the best jam before Christmas, tasting the sixth of 23 jams and 1 honey.

CURRENT STANDINGS

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 2-day jampion

2. Apricot Peach (45)

3. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42)

4. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

5. Pear with Cocoa Nib (32)

JAM.05: Pear with Cocoa Nibs Dec 05, 2022

Happy(?) Krampusnacht! It's the day when St. Nicholas's evil assistant(?) kidnaps naughty children and takes them to hell. What will Krampus think of today's jam, Pear with Cocoa Nibs? Will he take it to hell, or let St. Nick fill its little shoes with candies and toys? We'll find out when Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk taste the fifth of 23 jams and 1 honey, as "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues.

CURRENT STANDINGS:

1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58)

2. Apricot Peach (45)

3. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42)

4. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

JAM.04: Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom Dec 04, 2022

Can you bring jam onto an airplane? What is a Linden Blossom? Either way, this episode is definitely approved to bring through a TSA security checkpoint. "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues with your hosts Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk, as we taste the fourth of 23 jams and 1 honey on a quest to find the best jam before Christmas.

CURRENT STANDINGS:

1. Apricot Peach (45)

2. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42)

3. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

JAM.03: Apricot Peach Dec 03, 2022

Today’s “Little French Jelly Death Match” begins with an explanation of jelly vs. jam vs. preserves vs. marmalade vs. compote. Does Bonne Maman care about the distinction? We know they're into labels, but usually those labels are just adorable ones made to look hand-written. Then, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk taste the third of 23 jams and 1 honey. The quest to find the best jam before Christmas is on!

CURRENT STANDINGS:

1. Orange Yuzu Grapefruit (42)

2. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

JAM.02: Orange Yuzu Grapefruit Dec 02, 2022

In today’s “Little French Jelly Death Match,” Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk taste the second of 23 jams and 1 honey. We also learn about a little-known, and almost certainly fake, Dec. 2 holiday. Will Orange Yuzu Grapefruit unseat the current jam-pion? Yuzu'll have to listen to find out.

CURRENT STANDINGS:

1. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)

JAM.01: Rhubarb Strawberry Dec 01, 2022

In today’s “Little French Jelly Death Match,” Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk unbox the Bonne Maman Advent Calendar and taste the first of 23 jams and 1 honey.

JAM.00: Little French Jelly Death Match Nov 14, 2022

Surprise! Your seltzer feed has been taken over by an authorized spinoff of the franchise. “Little French Jelly Death Match” will be an audio advent calendar following the actual Bonne Maman advent calendar of little jams. We want you to play along! Snag a jam calendar here: https://www.bonnemaman.us/2022-advent-calendar.html?gclid=CjwKCAiA68ebBhB-EiwALVC-Nrjedl4HbijShYrV3MR7h81qj-UgMQO2wY617NetB8SRDOqoxy_DGhoCc64QAvD_BwE (NOTE: THIS IS NOT SPON CON. BUT THERE IS TIME, BONNE MAMAN, IF YOU WANT TO GET IN TOUCH)

2.18: Pokéseltzer with Josh Fjelstad Apr 20, 2021

Which Pokémon is the official Pokémon of seltzer? Josh Fjelstad, co-host of the podcast "EXP. Share," joins us to try a hemp club soda... just in time for 4/20. Today’s matchup: Q Spectacular Club Soda vs. Endo Water Sparkling Hemp Club Soda.

2.17: Nonlinear with Mike Katzif Apr 20, 2021

It’s a battle of grapefruit seltzers! Podcast producer Mike Katzif joins us for today’s matchup: Waterloo vs. Alta Palla.* *Mike’s original plug was edited out of the show because this episode was recorded in 2019 and he was plugging the concept of attending live concerts. But he suggests, “In the meantime, maybe watching musicians performing awkwardly and wholesomely in their own homes on IG Live and such.”

2.16: Encased Meats with Sam Lee Jul 02, 2020

We're back, just in time for that Independence Day cookout you definitely shouldn't be going to because social distancing is still a thing. Hot dog aficionado Sam Lee joins us to taste two more trendy hemp seltzers. Today's matchup: Sweet Reason strawberry lavender vs. Dram gingergrass. Black lives matter; this seltzer podcast does not... so enjoy this little break and then get back to being actively anti-racist.

2.15: A-A-T-M with Meredith Heil May 18, 2020

Get out of the way, Aesthetics, Bub and Flava… there’s a new rubric in town. Food and beverage writer Meredith Heil joins us, and the brunch ambience outside the shipping container is VERY LOUD. Today’s matchup: Ever and Ever vs. Market Basket.

2.14: Bubs with Drugs with Elizabeth Donnelly and Stu Sherman Apr 28, 2020

For $125,000: Does Meredith Vieira like seltzer? A: Yes B: No C: She's more of a Spindrift fan D: Richard Nixon It's booze vs. hemp black cherry seltzers. Today's matchup: White Claw vs. Weller.

2.13: Crime Seltzer with Abbey Kos Apr 20, 2020

We begin with an actual news update from our carbonation correspondent about the coronavirus pandemic’s impact on the seltzer industry. Then, another new episode from 2019: Writer/editor/strategist Abbey Kos joins us to make a confession. Today’s matchup: An artisanal local Brooklyn seltzer vs. FOUND unflavored. Today’s episode uses the song “She Thinks Herself Immortal” by Jim Rooster, CC Attribution license.

2.12: Water with Glitter in It with Caitlin Dickerson Apr 12, 2020

Club soda vs. mineral water? The world's gone to hell, so who cares! In late 2019, New York Times reporter Caitlin Dickerson joined us in a shipping container in the backyard of a Bushwick pizza restaurant to compare two things that make no sense to compare. Today's matchup: Sea to Sea club Soda vs. Lurisia mineral water.

2.11: I'm Every Seltzer with Wendy Zukerman Apr 06, 2020

Seltzer Death Match is back with new episodes recorded in the past. Wendy Zukerman of Gimlet's "Science Vs." brought us two Polish seltzers she found in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Today's matchup: Naleczowianka vs. Cisowianka. Stay safe, everybody.

2.10: They Rip, They Dunk, They Chew, They Swallow with Peter Bresnan Apr 25, 2018

Peter Bresnan is the producer of Gimlet's "The Habitat," about six fake astronauts trapped in a fake Mars habitat for a year. What happens when he's trapped in a seltzer podcast for an hour, edited down to 13 minutes? Today's matchup: Polar Club Soda Lemon Twist vs. Polar Seltzer "Yeti Mischief."

2.09: The Devon Sawa of Seltzer with Theo Balcomb Apr 18, 2018

Does Michael Barbaro like seltzer? Our guest judge Theo Balcomb has the answer. Theo produces The New York Times news podcast, "The Daily," and she has some HOT GOSS about seltzer culture at The Gray Lady. Today's matchup: Mountain Valley vs. Field Day.

2.08: Seltzer Feelings with Tim Manley Apr 11, 2018

Joy. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Disgust. These are the five human emotions, as depicted by Pixar's "Inside Out." Which do you experience upon drinking seltzer? We explore this question with Tim Manley, storyteller and writer/star of the web series "The Feels." Today's matchup: Four Point Zero Green Apple vs. Four Point Zero Mango Cilantro.

2.07: Club Soda Fight to the Finish Apr 01, 2018

Host Julia Melfi welcomes the judges of Seltzer Death Match, Rachel Ward and Travis Larchuk, to choose which is the most good club soda in the U-S-A. This episode uses the song “Bubble Butterflies,” by Bottlesmoker, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

2.06: Missing the Z with Rebecca Soffer Mar 21, 2018

Does Chelsea Clinton like seltzer? We know she was once in the vicinity of Hint Fizz, thanks to today's guest judge, Rebecca Soffer. She's the co-founder of "Modern Loss," a web site and book with essays about the grieving process. Today's battle: Topo Chico from Mexico vs. Selters from Germany.

2.05: If It’s Cold, It’s Sold with Chris Taylor Mar 14, 2018

The VP of Boylan Bottling Co. joins us to defend his company’s products in the wake of Boylan’s losses at the hands of regional favoritism and a non-seltzer mixed with soy sauce. In this extra-long special episode, we’ll learn everything we didn’t know we wanted to know about the bub biz. Then, it’s a Boylan Battle Royale: We’ll taste all four Boylan seltzer flavors, but only one can win. Today’s episode uses the song “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

2.04: Soy Sauce & Seltzer with Kat Chow Mar 07, 2018

Does Bob Costas like seltzer? Our special guest judge, NPR's Kat Chow, might know the answer. She discusses her stint as a producer at the Vancouver Winter Olympics. Then she surprises us with an unprecedented challenge: mixing seltzer with SOY SAUCE. Today's matchup: Boylan's Lemon Seltzer vs. San Pellegrino Lemon (which we know is not technically seltzer, don't @ us).

2.03: Volcanic Purity with Brittany Luse and Eric Eddings Feb 28, 2018

The hosts of Gimlet's "The Nod," Brittany Luse and Eric Eddings, join us to discuss an important parenting topic: when to introduce your children to seltzer. Also, Brittany makes up a seltzer cake recipe and we taste two mineral waters from Spain: Mondariz and Sant Aniol.

2.02: Now Fizzing with Amanda Brennan Feb 21, 2018

A private Facebook group of seltzer fans announces itself to the world. Group ambassador Amanda Brennan joins us to discuss seltzer lingo and her day job as Tumblr's librarian of memes. Today's matchup: Limited Edition Hal's New York Coffee Seltzer vs. coffee we put in a SodaStream.

2.01: #gayabsdrinkseltzer with Cecil Baldwin Feb 14, 2018

Welcome to Night Vale's Cecil Baldwin joins us for our season 2 premiere, now with even more questionable audio quality! Join us back in Rachel Ward's Brooklyn apartment as we discuss the difference between Insta-Gays and #instagays and how to pronounce the words "apricot" and "Cúrate." Today's matchup: LaCroix Apricot vs. Voss Tangerine Lemongrass.

1.15: Finale Apr 05, 2017

It all comes down to this. Previous guest judges and other friends join us to help taste the final two seltzers, offer new sense memories and air grievances in a spectacular live (on tape) finale. Featuring cameos by David Greene and Rachel's Dad, and a clip of Katie Couric discussing seltzer courtesy of NPR & WAMU's The Big Listen. Today’s episode uses the song “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

1.14: LaCroix Boi with Chris Berube Mar 29, 2017

Did you know there's an entire country north of The United States? We'll learn more about this mysterious land with today's guest judge, Slate's unofficial Canada correspondent, Chris Berube. He tells us that Canadians call seltzer "club soda." Go figure: It's just like Canadians to figure out how to spell "seltzer" with the letter "U." (Also, we are aware club soda is technically different from seltzer. Please send your angry letters to Canada Dry, c/o Dr Pepper/Seven Up, Inc.) In today's final semifinal, Saratoga and Adirondack Lemon Lime compete to advance to the final final.

1.13: Your Dream Seltzer Account with Nazanin Rafsanjani Mar 22, 2017

Does Rachel Maddow like seltzer? And, hypothetically, if you were in charge of a podcasting agency that partners with businesses to create branded content, what would be your dream seltzer account? As we approach the season finale, Nazanin Rafsanjani guest judges the first of two semifinal death matches. Only she can decide who moves to the finals: Vintage or Hint Fizz Peach.

1.12: Seltzer Facial with Katie Christiansen Mar 15, 2017

Is seltzer good for your skin? What liquid do you soak your meatball breadcrumbs in? What are we even talking about anymore? Katie Christiansen joins us for the last quarterfinal round, as Vintage and LaCroix Coconut battle it out for a spot in the semifinals. Today’s episode contains a snippet of “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

1.11: 17 Times Seltzer Bubbles Tickled Your Fancy with Chiquita Paschal Mar 08, 2017

Who's your Disney sidepiece? We talk about the hottest bros in the Magic Kingdom with BuzzFeed consultant Chiquita Paschal. Also, returning quarterfinalist seltzers Hint Fizz Peach and Rocchetta Brio Blu battle for a spot in the semifinals. Today's episode contains a snippet of "Think," by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial License.

1.10: Trying Too Hard with Zoe Chace Mar 01, 2017

Does Ira Glass like seltzer? Today's program in three acts. Act I: "For Whom the Bub Bubs." We meet our guest judge, This American Life's Zoe Chace. Act II: "Quarter for Your Finals." Returning winners Adirondack Lemon-Lime (the David Sedaris of seltzer) and Hal’s New York Black Cherry (the Mike Birbiglia of seltzer) compete. Act III: "Personal Reflection." What did you think that seltzer was going to be like, and then, what was it really like? How has this experience changed you?* *During our live movie theater simulcast, this segment was accompanied by a performance from the Pilobolus dance troupe. Today’s episode contains a snippet of “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

1.09: Rice Balls with Austin Thompson Feb 22, 2017

Did you know there's a kind of seltzer that doesn't have bubbles, and you have to chew it? It's called "food." Guest judge Austin Thompson (Gimlet) turns the tables and treats us to some rice balls. Stay until the end for some quality stereo ASMR. Also we'll drink Saratoga and LaCroix Pamplemousse. Today’s episode contains a snippet of “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

BONUS: Bracketology with Mike Pesca Feb 16, 2017

The opening rounds are over, and the quarterfinal bracket has been released! Mike Pesca, host of Slate's podcast "The Gist," joins Travis for some bracketology. We'll learn some actual facts about the seltzers we've tried as Mike predicts the winners of each quarterfinal, and the overall winner of SDM.

1.08: Two Turnarounds with Laura Sim Feb 15, 2017

You're invited! Bring a can of seltzer over to our house. Throw it into a hat. Put on a blindfold and drink whatever seltzer you choose! (Also bring your own blindfold.) RSVP regrets only. Guest judge Laura Sim picks between two classic, unflavored seltzers: Polar and Vintage.

1.07: Seltzer No More with Julia Melfi Feb 08, 2017

You wander into a dimly lit room. The sound of bubbles surrounds you. A seltzer cooler opens. A handsome man emerges. He beckons you to join him. You hesitate. Will this be the night? The night you drop your inhibitions? The night you finally find your fizz? Guest judge Julia Melfi pitches us on multiple seltzer-related theat(er/re) projects. Today's match: Hint Fizz Peach vs. Canada Dry Mandarin Orange.

1.06: The Bubbler with Lynn Levy Feb 01, 2017

Check your fridge. Is there an old bottle of mustard in there? Where did it come from? What’s its story? We'll all learn and grow as guest judge Lynn Levy takes us through international waters: Vichy Catalan vs. Rocchetta Brio Blu. This episode contains a tiny bit of royalty free music by Bensound: http://www.bensound.com/.

1.05: The Jigsaw Bubbles with Rommel Wood Jan 25, 2017

What's the seltzer culture like in the Adirondacks? And when will this podcast finally review meat water? Our guest judge, upstate New York native Rommel Wood (of Radio Free Brooklyn), joins us to settle a subway series: Boylan vs. Saratoga Springs.

1.04: Murder's a Slippery Slope with Kalila Holt Jan 18, 2017

When does cactus life begin? And what do you call that thing where you mix every soda flavor together? Get ready for international and domestic culture clashes with guest judge Kalila Holt (@kalilaholt, producer of The Heavyweight). Today's matchup is of two NYC bodega "hangover cures," Hal's Black Cherry New York Seltzer, and Coco Libre Sparkling Organic Coconut Water.

1.03: Effervescence Eleganza with Ryan Leetch Jan 11, 2017

Taste this seltzer, darling, taste ALL of this seltzer! Guest judge Ryan Leetch joins us with an important tip on how to spot a genuine key lime pie. Today's controversial matchup: Adirondack Lemon-Lime vs. a homemade combination of Poland Springs Lemon and Poland Springs Lime.

1.02: I Licked Miami with Ravenna Koenig Jan 04, 2017

How do you pronounce "LaCroix"? And, more importantly, who is the Beyonce of Balkan music? Guest judge and seltzer skeptic Ravenna Koenig joins us as we pit the most-loved flavor of LaCroix against the most divisive: It's Pamplemousse vs. Coconut.

1.01: It's Sodie Time with Doan Buu Dec 17, 2016

Does Rachel Ray like seltzer? Guest judge Doan Buu spills the sparkling tea. Today's matchup is Vanilla Fairway Simply Seltz'r vs. Vanilla Hi Ball Energy Sparkling Energy Water.

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