Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

CC: Reair: EP 94: Forgiving the Seemingly Unforgivable with Jen May 14, 2022

Show notes

This episode is about moving into acceptance and forgiveness. Today's caller, Jen, is having a hard time getting to forgiveness because she doesn't believe her parents did the best they could. Her grudge may be costing her the very thing she longs for the most.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode94]

One of the ways we get to forgiveness is knowing people did the best they could, even if we believe they could have done better. Knowing they did the best they could with the tools they had is one of the ways we can get to forgiveness. It can be difficult, especially when it was a parent or a loved one.

Holding on to anger, blame, and resentment is toxic. It will eat you up inside and keep you from what you want. Continuing to use the past as a scapegoat for why you don't have want you want gives your past power. Until you move into acceptance and forgiveness, your past will infiltrate every aspect of your present and your future.

Look at the places where you are not letting love into your life. Are you focusing too much on the people that didn't love you in the way you wanted, and missing out on all the love around you?

Would you like to connect more with me and receive a resource to help you transform into owning your purpose? Use this link, ChristineHassler.com/SpiritJunkie to enroll in Gabby Bernstein's Spirit Junkie Masterclass by June 29th and receive access to the class, a one-hour one-on-one coaching session with me, a one-month membership to my Inner Circle Community, a download of my guided meditation CD and more.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● Is there someone you have not been able to forgive because you truly feel what they did is unforgivable?

● Is there someone you are blaming for your not having what you want in your life?

● Do you tend to imagine worst-case scenarios and feel that things just don't go your way in life?

● Did you grow up around addicts or as the child of addicts?

Jen's Question:

Jen would like to forgive her mother and accept that her parents did the best they could.

Jen's Key Insights and Ahas:

● She didn't get the love and attention she wanted as a child.

● She wants closure with her mother who recently passed.

● She feels broken.

● She's created the healthy family she always wanted.

● She is keeping herself from fully appreciating and accepting the love of her current family.

● She is using her past as a scapegoat.

● As a child, she had low expectations so she wouldn't be disappointed.

● It wasn't her job to save her parents.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● She shouldn't identify with the victim role, and understand she received what she needed.

● She should stop mimicking her mother's behaviors.

● She should do projection work and let the love that exists in her current life in.

● She should have appreciation and have life-affirming and positive thoughts.

Takeaways:

● If there is someone you want to hear something from, some kind of forgiveness, write a letter to you from them. Write down all the things you wanted to hear from them and read it to yourself.

● Do projection work. Look at judgments you have towards others and see how you may be doing it in your own life, externally or internally.

● Be honest about the cost of holding onto a grudge and write down what it is keeping you from. Write down all the blessings you have in life and how you may be blinded to them because of the grudge.

● Have positive expectations and use your imagination to consider the best-case scenario.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Coaches Corner with Gabby Bernstein — Turn Your Pain Into Purpose

Inner Circle Membership Community

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

EP 348: What if What You Think You Are Angry About Is Actually Not What You're Angry About? With Rose May 11, 2022

Show notes

This emotional episode is about getting to the root of anger to be able to release it. Today's caller, Rose, has a deep-seated rage she directs toward her sister. But as we work through in the coaching call, she chose her sister, who poses less of a threat, to release her rage upon instead of the real person she is enraged with, her father.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode348]

Whenever our reaction doesn't match with the circumstance, it means there is something else going on. Oftentimes, we have rage or anger just by being a human being on the planet, and we direct it at certain people or we become obsessive about certain people.

The thing about anger is that it needs an exit route. It is a huge energetic wave and it needs a way to get out. Anger can leak out as irritability, addiction, aggression at other people or just being angry at ourselves. We spend so much energy keeping anger inside that we can get depressed or we might just direct it at someone who is an easy scapegoat but isn't actually the person we are enraged about.

Go to ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease to get my Anger Release Program.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have a sibling or family member you are mad at and you can't shake it no matter how much work you do?
Do you struggle with jealousy, envy, or wish you could have had someone else's life?
Did you have a parent you were loyal to but as an adult, you question why you were so loyal?
Do you have a hard time expressing your rage?

Rose's Question:

Rose struggles with her anger toward her sister and would like guidance on how to shift her feelings.

Rose's Key Insights and Ahas:

She formed an unhealthy alliance against her younger sister with her father.
She loves her sister but feels deep rage toward her.
She has done a lot of work around the issue.
She has always felt mad at her sister and has taken her frustrations out on her.
She didn't feel seen or appreciated as a child.
She feels her sister takes her oxygen when they are in the same room.
She feels her mom blames her for how she treats her sister.
Her father was explosive.
She swallows her rage.
She gets enraged by her sister's bigness and how strong she is.
Her anger makes her feel darkly powerful, righteous, and justified.
She feels it is not OK to be herself.
She is really mad at her father for making her feel small as a child.
Her father was fragile and was inappropriate toward her.
Her father made her feel ashamed for growing into her womanhood.
Her father took his life.
She realizes she transferred her anger toward her dad onto her sister.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Get the rage and anger out through an Anger Release exercise or by writing F-U letters she doesn't send.
Fully accept herself for who she is.
Not be afraid of her rage because it is where her passion lives.
Stay focused on who she is mad at to get to grief and then forgiveness.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

CC: Guest on Alyson Charles' Podcast: Untangling from Trauma & Setting Your Inner Child Free with Christine Hassler May 07, 2022

Show notes

Inner Child

EP 347: I'm Ready. I've Done All This Work. So, Where is My Person? With Asma May 04, 2022

Show notes

This episode is about patience and becoming a loving partner to ourselves so we are ready to call in our soul match. Today's caller, Asma, is ready to call in a partner but may have some work to do around building faith and trust based on her inner child's wounding. Even if you are not looking for your person, you will get value from the conversations about patience, trust, and relationships.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode347]

It's easy to believe in the magic of the universe when everything is going our way. It's harder when we are scared or things aren't going along with our plan. So many of our core trust issues come from our childhood. They come from the survival skills we adopted. That is where trust wounds begin.

Surrender invites the masculine in because it is fiercely brave. It is a deep level of trust in our intuition, a higher power, and in life because we relinquish control. It creates receptivity and an entry point for the masculine. Most healthy masculine men don't like being told what to do.

Those of us who are more on the spectrum of controlling have less faith and trust. Part of the way we deal with our spiritual crisis and our fear of trust and surrender is to over plan, over control, and be overly self-sufficient.

When it comes to relationships we don't have as much control because another person is involved. When it comes to love, the other person is on their own timeline, even when we may feel ready. Our soul-match people are harder to find because we are growing with them, not growing from them. Soul match people share our visions and values and match more where we want to go instead of where we have been. It requires a person who has done their work.

To all the single women who want to call in their person, I encourage you to take the Be the Queen course. Be empowered and intentional about calling in the relationship you desire. Experience a complete transformation. Get $200 off at ChristineHassler.com/bethequeen with the promo code "OVERIT".

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you feel like you have done the work but wondering where your prize is?
Are you divorced or broken up and back in the dating scene and find yourself being impatient?
Do you have a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable people or people who are not ready for a relationship?
Are you patient with yourself or do you have a harsh inner critic?

Asma's Question:

Asma has wounding from a previous relationship but has done the work. She feels ready to receive her new partner but grows impatient with the lack of candidates.

Asma's Key Insights and Ahas:

She married young and is now divorced.
She has done a lot of personal development work.
She has created the home life she wants.
She is ready to attract a partner with whom she feels a deep alignment.
She is impatient and hard on herself.
She wants a masculine man.
She would like to develop trust.
She didn't feel seen or heard by her father but she has abandonment wounding.
Some men she dates are not ready to be in a relationship.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Work on being patient.
Look at how she can become a good partner and lover to herself.
Be upfront at the beginning of a relationship about where she is and where she wants to go.
Be clear about what she wants and where she wants to go.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

CC: Reair: Get Out of Pain (Permanently!) with Nicole Sachs Apr 30, 2022

Show notes

Nicole Sachs, LCSW is a speaker, writer, podcaster and psychotherapist who has dedicated her work and her practice to the treatment of chronic pain, symptoms, syndromes and conditions. She is the author of the book The Meaning of Truth, and the online course FREEDOM FROM CHRONIC PAIN. Her brand, The Cure for Chronic Pain, includes a Website, Podcast and YouTube Channel. Her personal experience as well as work with thousands of people around the world have shaped and evolved Nicole's theories, which serve to teach those suffering how to heal themselves completely with no medication or surgery.

EP 346: Moving Through the Triggers That Come Up When You're Alone with Angel Apr 27, 2022

Show notes

This episode is breaking familiar generational patterns. Today's caller, Angel, grew up in a chaotic home. As an adult, he seeks out chaos and uses numbing strategies when he feels triggered. We work through ways he can recognize the triggers and how he can make them an opportunity for healing without self-blame or shame.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode346]

Unraveling and healing from trauma in our childhoods take time. It is hard to deal with our past when we distract ourselves by things happening in the present or with numbing strategies.

Because we are often drawn to what is familiar, not what is healthy, that gets a lot of us stuck. We keep going back to things we know are not healthy, then we get stuck in the cycle of self-blame and shame without being compassionate with ourselves.

A trigger is a gateway to healing, but if we go to a distraction or a quick fix we miss the opportunity for deeper healing. It's about making the decision at the time of the trigger to go inside and that is when we do the work.

A disorganized attachment style is formed when we have had a chaotic childhood. A disorganized attachment style is like a "come here, now go away" pattern. It is the wanting of attention and affection, wanting to be seen but also wanting to withdraw. When real intimacy and real love get too close, the person with a disorganized attachment style wants to push it away.

If you want to learn more about attachment styles you can download a great group coaching call for only $20 at ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have trouble being alone?
Did you grow up in a chaotic environment where you didn't feel seen and safe? Did you witness violence?
Do you find yourself in a cycle of going into dysfunctional relationships or abusing a substance and you feel shame about it?
Do you have a lot of awareness but feel you are not changing?

Angel's Question:

Angel seeks chaos and conflict and would like guidance on how to feel a sense of safety and be in his body.

Angel's Key Insights and Ahas:

His childhood home was chaotic.
He is social around other people.
He finds it difficult to be alone with his thoughts.
He feels empty.
He seeks out chaos in his life.
He uses substances in excess.
His cycle of shame repeats.
He shut down as a child to cope with the domestic violence he witnessed.
He feels not-enough and has a disorganized attachment style.
He has never felt loved or safe.
He is always looking to find what he didn't get as a child.
He feels he has awareness.
He feels comforted when other people are around.
His intuition tells him he should wait to enter a romantic relationship.
He was in a trauma-bond relationship that blew up.
He finds it hard to forget the trauma he experienced as a child.
He still lives with his mom, and he feels anger toward her when she tries to parent him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Have compassion for himself.
Acknowledge himself and tell himself he is not alone.
Have patience with his process and acknowledge his progress.
Resist the urge to go to the quick fix when he feels triggered.
Leverage triggers when they come up.
Write a letter to his mother he does not intend to give to her.
Make the intention to make relationships with male mentors or build up more healthy male relationships.

Takeaway:

Use the moments when you feel triggered to reach for a distraction or a numbing strategy, to instead leverage the triggering opportunity to use your healing tools.
Find healthy male groups to be a part of such as Mpowered Brotherhood on Instagram.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

CC: Reair: EP 82: Overcoming Your Inner Critic With Ravi Apr 23, 2022

Show notes

This episode is about overcoming the pain our inner bullies create. Today's caller, Ravi, was bullied as a child, and uses his inner critic as a protective measure. He became isolated and disconnected from his intuition, and he cut off listening to his heart because he didn't want to feel.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode82]

When we cut off our feelings we not only cut off the pain, but we cut off the love and inspiration as well. What happened in the past does not have to create your future. You can get over it and on with it, but you must be consciously committed to letting it go.

To transform, you need love, wisdom, and compassion from your heart, and alchemy. I guided Ravi through a heart meditation, like this one from a Coaches Corner episode. Ravi experienced clarity after the meditation. His heart said it wanted expression through art.

The next step was to transform his trauma and pain, but Ravi said he didn't want to go there. Remember, the fear of feeling pain is what keeps you from transforming it. It is possible to alchemize passion, or suffering, into something you love. It takes a lot of energy to suppress pain. If you have had trauma, it can be scary to go there on your own. You should find someone to work with, someone who can go there with you to hold a space for you.

The more you listen to your heart, the more it speaks to you!

Join me this September at my retreat in Bali. Visiting a magical place with like-minded people will transform your mind, body, and spirit. It's a unique experience where you can experience significant healing that will last the rest of your life. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● Are you trying to figure out your issues or challenges in your head?

● Were you bullied, teased or criticized as a child or a teenager, and it still haunts you today?

● Do you have a past trauma you are terrified to address and feel?

● Would you say you live more in your head than in your heart?

Ravi's Question:

Ravi wants to know how to find purpose in his life.

Ravi's Key Insights and Ahas:

● He disconnected from his conscious mind to cope with the trauma.

● He internalizes the external bullying.

● He's scared of failure and being made fun of.

● He has managed his pain, but has not yet transformed it.

● He is in an avoidance pattern and protective mode.

● He's been in the midst of self-loathing.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● He should tap into the passion he experienced to create art.

● He could help other people who have been bullied.

● He needs to listen to his heart.

● He needs to start alchemizing his pain.

● He should practice release writing when he feels sadness.

Assignments:

● Read The Lesson Quest and Your Life's Purpose in Chapter 9, The Spiritual Level in Expectation Hangover.

● Be honest about what you are attempting to figure out, and alchemize it.

● Listen to my Coaches Corner with Jim Kwik.

● Volunteer and be of service to someone else to help you with your inner critic.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Over It and On With It Listener Survey

Expectation Hangover

Inner Circle Membership Community

Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler

@christinhassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@Christinehassler.com for Bali Retreat Information

Bali Retreat Enrollment Page

EP 345: How to Get the Men in Your Life to Be Less Rigid with Danielle Apr 20, 2022

Show notes

This episode is about communicating with someone who has more of a controlling and rigid personality structure. Today's caller, Danielle, would like to reduce the friction between her and her husband when it comes to their parenting priorities. I coach Danielle on how to work with her husband to be a little less rigid and less controlling when it comes to her sons and when it comes to herself. And, how to get her sons to express themselves emotionally.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode345]

When we are butting heads with someone, trying to get them to see our side of something will never work. Having curiosity and compassion for the other person's model of the world and the way they see things is the way forward.

A lot of men, boys, and those who identify as masculine have been conditioned to suppress, to be less emotional, and that their value is the security and legacy they can provide or the money they can provide. Oftentimes emotional connection, the ability to be in their heart, the ability to trust, or to have more of a connection with their feminine side is difficult because there has been so much attention on the other.

Remember, when someone says that something made them stronger it generally doesn't mean they now have the courage to be vulnerable and to seek help, to think deep into their wounds, to dig into their generational patterns to transform their experience.

When children are not raised with the ability to have autonomy, sovereignty, and speak up for themselves, it can go one of two ways. Either they become overly compliant and get pushed around or they become overly aggressive because they are trying to get their power back.

A lot of us can relate to us having differences in the way we see the world and what we think is right. Anytime we can heal a division in our home or within our families, it has a ripple effect elsewhere. So, at a time when it seems there is a lot of division, finger-pointing, and judgment in the world, shifting this in the home helps to collectively shift it.

Are you in a relationship right now and you would like the relationship to be better? Or, your relationship is at a point where it is falling apart and you want to save it? Would you like to know what makes a relationship work? You can at any time by going to christinehassler.com/relationshipcourse. Listeners of this podcast get $50 off with promo code 'OVERIT'. Learn how to bring the zest back into your relationship.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you find there is someone in your life who is controlling and you wish they would be more intuitive and more emotionally available?
Do you find it is hard to set boundaries with someone who is structured and set in their ways?
Is it hard for you to have compassion for your partner or children because you are frustrated by what they are doing?
Are you willing to see the little child inside of the adults you love and have compassion for the way they act the way they do?

Danielle's Question:

Danielle would like to know how she can enforce boundaries with her children while respecting her husband's role in the family.

Danielle's Key Insights and Ahas:

She set boundaries to keep burnout at bay.
She and her husband lead a busy lifestyle.
She and her husband are both active military.
Her husband is high-energy and she is more passive.
She values her parenting skills.
She wants her boys to grow up with sovereignty.
Her boys are diagnosed with ADHD/ADD.
Her husband may have wounds around his relationship with his father.
She is triggered by her husband's actions.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Carve some time out with her husband to ask him what he wished would have been different between him and his father.
Realize her husband has a father wound and she may be dealing with a tender little boy inside.
Acknowledge her husband when he does emotional work.
Approach her husband in a way that doesn't make him feel judged.
Lean into her vulnerability and speak her needs in an empowered way.
Create a fun way to empower her boys to express themselves.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services