Lewis Black's Rantcast - TopPodcast.com

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#56 - All For None, and None For All Sep 08, 2021

Show notes

Twenty years ago this week, the United States suffered the worst terrorist attack in its history. Following the horror of that triple death-from-above assault, the country was about as united in purpose as it can be, and in agreement, mostly, about what we saw happen. Not so much now when we cannot even agree on what reality is. Our views on the events of the world have become so distorted through our siloed lenses that the current lethal attack on the country has not corralled us to a similar unifying principle. Is it because we can’t blame foreign terrorists? Without humans to directly blame for the daily mortality that is approaching the death toll from that one terrible day, some people now think that doctors are the terrorists because of their incessant need to dispense medical advice based on facts and research. It makes one despair that we will ever escape the pandemic.

So, your host has a singular message this week, with a hat tip to writer Wendy Molyneux: Get Vaccinated! Because until we get control of the pandemic, we can’t focus on the myriad of other problems we face. These issues are embodied in the threats to our democracy and personal and public safety from the radical conservative minority who would sacrifice everything the country stands for on the altar of a nihilistic definition of personal and religious freedom. As some in our community celebrate the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, it’s worth remembering that the American political system is based on a separation of church and state and that there are many people who do not find the promise of potential rapture to be a good reason not to get a shot. And as we have also seen this week, the worsening effects of climate change are more and more evident as from coast to coast localities have been ravaged by 100-year weather conditions on a weekly basis, from hurricanes to flooding to wildfires to tornadoes. Whatever the aims of the 9/11 attackers, the subsequent twenty years have proven that left to our own devices, we can harm ourselves far more than any external threat.

On a lighter note, happy 103rd birthday to Jeannette Black!

The rants this week offer a range of gripes before taking a decided turn down COVID alley, with a brief excursion into the dialectics of Greek tragedy. Highlights include one veteran’s plea to stop saying “Thank you for your service” unless you are also going to vote for politicians who will support those who have served, a reminder that democracy is in danger in California where an entirely undemocratic recall election threatens the incumbency of Gov. Newsom, a plea for personal space, and a diatribe about the pointlessness of most news when it leaves the work of news gathering to the viewer. Also, get vaccinated.

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

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#55 - Al Roker You're Nuts Sep 01, 2021

Show notes

The good news of the week: Lewis' Baltimore Orioles finally won a game! Also, he had a birthday.

The bad news: the endless cycle of problems of the world. Hurricanes, COVID, Afghanistan, the assault on voting rights. The same horrors on repeat, all with a moronic dose of grandstanding and unnecessary risk. First up is Lewis’ mainstream media pal Al Roker, who, as he is wont to do, reported about a hurricane from within said hurricane. Is this really required? If we have announcers calling baseball games remotely, why can’t Al report about the weather from the comfort and safety of a TV studio. We know you’re committed Al, but this seems like a crazy level of dedication to the job. This particular weather system hit a little too figuratively close to home for your host, whose grandmother was also named Ida. For those of you familiar with Lewis’ mother, it really should have been called Hurricane Jeannette. Next, on the foreign affairs front, Sen. Lindsay Graham wants to impeach the current president for the debacle in Afghanistan. By that metric all of the last four presidents could have been removed from office, and while the focus on foreign threats is important, why does domestic terrorism always get treated like an unwanted step-child? Ignoring it won’t make it go away. Meanwhile the former leader has thrown his support behind former NJ Generals star running back Herschel Walker in his bid to win a Senate seat from Georgia. Some important context: the former leader owned that USFL team and paid Herschel Walker a lot of money in the 1980s, the former leader almost single-handedly bankrupted the USFL, and Herschel Walker lives in Texas. Finally, to round out the crazy train, a St. Louis taxi company is refusing service to riders who wear masks or are vaccinated. The owner of the company is proud that Missouri is one of the three states with the lowest vaccination rate. The lesson here is that there are two kinds of crazy: the Al Roker funny-crazy that leads one to maybe irresponsibly report about a hurricane from within, and the truly psychotic variety that not only denies reality, but actively promotes that delusional view of the world to the detriment of the greater society.

While Lewis couldn’t celebrate his birthday with a grand party, the best gift you can give him is to send in your rants. And this week’s submissions were quite a present, with rants about the end of the American experiment in democracy, the tribulations of a spouse who forgets to turn off the bathroom light, a query into why Lewis’ fall tour dates mostly skip the Midwest, and a plea to the organizers of the Red Neck Rave to keep their toxic stew away from the nearby Mammoth Caves National Park. Also, this highly controversial stance: okra is inedible.

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

New episodes arrive every Wednesday.

SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS

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#54 - God Must Really Hate Haiti Aug 25, 2021

Show notes

While the tribulations of the world were on an endless loop of Haiti, COVID, and Afghanistan, Lewis' anger this week comes from a very personal place, but with a universal lesson. After a year and a half of being extra careful with everything germ-related, Lewis and a group of fully-vaccinated, often-tested friends had dinner together last week, only to find out the next day that one of their fellow diners has COVID. And that friend was supposed to go on a well-deserved trip to Italy the next day. The unfairness of it all made him angry. Very angry. So, there was some yelling that happened, and thus the lesson. What we hear a lot of in the public discourse is the fevered fanaticism of a loud minority, whether about vaccines, masks, guns, or climate change. Their reactionary amateurish spewing brings neither beneficial relief for themselves nor does it serve any higher societal function. It is just noise going out into the unmediated void, propped up by ads for gold, CPAP machines, and catheters. In contrast, your host proffers this professional advice: the true purpose of yelling should be the healthy expression of anger. Not in and of itself, but as a means to find your own vulnerability. He’s an expert on the subject. So, send in your rants and get that anger therapeutically out. You'll feel better.

The rants this week offer their own range of personal anger therapy, with submissions about pooping geese, bad manners, e-scooters, flat-earthers, pandemic hygiene, Cuomo-esque unwanted touching, the Davenport IA police department, an insightful lesson on the meaning of the 1st Amendment, and Germans. Also, a doleful rant about the seasonal confusion caused by retail establishments having already started playing Christmas holiday music even though it is 150˚degrees outside. And more!

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

New episodes arrive every Wednesday.

SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS

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#53 - Idi-f*ck-its Aug 18, 2021

Show notes

A week off did nothing to temper Lewis’s anger or his sense that history has folded in on itself.

Twenty years of US intervention in an Asian nation and it all ends in an ill-planned fleeing on overcrowded flights. Kabul in 2021 or Saigon in 1975, either way the images of departing Americans should forever dispel any further imperialist notions. Your host has himself visited Afghanistan, having performed there on two USO tours. From his observations from flying over the country, it was obvious from the haphazard nature of the terrain that the country could never be conquered. So here we are, unable to get our act together to defeat enemies foreign or domestic or viral, each attempt at a solution confounded by our own idiocy and delusional sense of self-worth. While the Taliban overwhelms the Afghan forces, COVID continues its resurgent march through the unvaccinated. America leadership seems to be defined by a hubristic inability or unwillingness to accurately assess any problem beyond what the personal political consequences might be. How else to explain certain governors stopping local schools from having mask mandates? These leaders look only to their own political advantage and criminally refuse to comprehend that their job is first and foremost to protect those who are unable to protect themselves. Instead they are willing to gamble the lives of children to make a nebulous virtue-signaling point about “freedom”. What about the freedom to not get COVID? The vaccination situation has become so ridiculous that some people in Missouri are wearing disguises when they go to get vaccinated. So, there’s freedom for those who won’t wear a mask or won’t get vaccinated, but not for those who choose to get vaccinated. But, it’s not all bad news on the vaccination front, some dominatrices are demanding that their submissives get vaccinated. Whatever it takes.

From one end of the English-speaking world to the other, Lewis’ global reach persists as this week we have a Kiwi’s perspective of American politics likening it to the death rattle of a failed state, some fan appreciation from down under, and from north of the border, a discursive deconstruction of how Canadian politics isn’t so much better than American politics, they just do it in a quieter fashion. We have several perspectives on vaccination and the pandemic, and from Texas, a local’s view of Gov. Greg Abbott’s destructive antebellum governing strategy. Plus, what’s up with all the shopping cart traffic jams in the aisles of Sam’s Club?

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

New episodes arrive every Wednesday.

SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS

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#52 - On the Road Again Aug 04, 2021

Show notes

After a nearly 500-day hiatus, due to the biblically cataclysmic global plague, Lewis made his “post”-pandemic performance debut. Was it outdoors? Yes. Was it in front of physically present live humans? Indeed! And while he may have had the comedy equivalent of the "twisties", the audience at the Chautauqua Institute could not have been more gracious or appreciative. All in all, a great way to get back on the road. Originally founded as a Methodist adult camp, the Chautauqua Institute is located in western New York state, and features a wealth of programming where adults speak intelligently to each other. Amazingly, this kind of place still exists in America. Followers of Lewis Black will know that in nearby Jamestown is the National Comedy Center which features a treasure-trove of material about the history and development of comedy in America, including exhibits on Ernie Kovacs, the Smothers Brothers, George Carlin, and Muppet Fozzie Bear. It also hosts the Lucille Ball Comedy Festival, which is happening this week (August 3-7)! So, if you’re in the greater Chautauqua County area it’s an experience you won’t want to miss. The NCC is also home to the Lucy-Desi Museum, which honors the contributions to comedy that Lucille Ball made (she grew up in nearby Celoron), and the entire NCC serves a monument to Lucy’s legacy and her vision of the place of comedy in American culture.

Lewis’s performance went well, though preparing for it was one of the hardest things he’s ever done, up there with getting ready for his Bar Mitzvah. Preparing for a show and writing his set without an audience is not his normal approach. He had to work in isolation and without his usual facilities and faculties, similar to the pandemic-restricted training regimens of the Olympic athletes now in Tokyo. But like them, once he’s on the big stage, the muscle memory comes back and the joy of performing comes through. His set went well and now he’s looking forward to hitting the road starting in September. So, assuming the vaccine situation gets a little better, Lewis's fall tour will begin next month with club dates in Huntsville, AL, Cleveland, OH, and Omaha, NE. If that isn't incentive enough to get vaccinated, what more do you need?

The rants this week touch on the state of the vaccinated and the un-vaccinated, with a decided lack of empathy for the latter. We also have submissions about the difficulties of buying a pillow, the sacrilege that is fruit on pizza, and one about how Canada is not so much better than America. And more.

The live rants come from Lewis' performance on Feb. 6, 2020 at the Coral Springs Center for the Performing Arts.

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

New episodes arrive every Wednesday.

SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS

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#51 - We Are The Variant Jul 28, 2021

Show notes

As the Delta Variant comes riding in like whichever of the four horsemen of the apocalypse represents Pestilence (it’s the white one), the Pandemic is turning downright biblical. And to paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13:11, the time for childish ways has ended, which means that if someone asks you if you've been vaccinated, answer the question like an adult. Yes or No. It's very simple. Too simple in fact for some Republicans in Congress who are afraid to say whether they have been vaccinated. In what world do they live in that they are too scared to declare their vaccination status because it might offend the followers of the former leader, when we all know that the former had COVID and was vaccinated. Whatever it was that they learned in their student government days, it was not how to lead. Your host served a term on his junior prom committee and managed a neat fiduciary trick that resulted in a free senior prom, which is a lesson in leadership many of our purported leaders could learn. It is time for us to get our act together, to wake up to the reality that getting vaccinated is what gives you your freedom to not wear a mask. Perhaps this is all a way of god saying that we have screwed up royally and enough is enough. And perhaps it is time for a third Testament called, “What The F$*k!”.

In other news, Lewis visited his mom this week, who's very pleased to know that she has become a centenarian social media star, commanding her son to be sure “to talk about me because they like me”. And in travel news, now that fully vaccinated Americans will be able to travel to Canada starting August 9th, it’s a good time to remember that Vancouver is one of the most expensive cities on the planet. Be sure to check the apartment rental listings when you visit. It makes living in NYC seem reasonable by comparison.

Speaking of our neighbors to the north, the rants this week include one from a disgruntled Canadian who would like to remind his fellow drivers that the laneway is for driving not for parking. Back in the states, we have rants that focus on the vaccinated, the unvaccinated, gun violence, and workplace surveillance. Plus, an epic diatribe/novella about a surreal experience at the DMV that serves as an archetypal summary of all that has happened in the last 18 months. Also, vaccinated lives matter!

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

New episodes arrive every Wednesday.

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#50 - Three Billionaires Walked Onto a Launchpad Jul 21, 2021

Show notes

There are 50 states in the United States, 50 ways to leave your lover, 50 is the age when you become eligible to join AARP, and this is episode #50 of Lewis Black’s Rantcast! Those 50 episodes have contained many recurring themes from impending and present climate catastrophe to the Covid-19 pandemic to rich people not wanting to pay taxes to the sclerotic machinations of a nearly psychotic nation whose politicians, particularly those who follow the former leader, cannot seem to escape from a nihilistic doom cycle. And this episode does not disappoint.

Around the planet, from the wildfires in the US west to the biblical floods in Western Europe, the ravages of global warming can no longer be ignored or escaped. Except that is, if you happen to be one of the nation’s benighted billionaires who launch themselves into what may or not be space on an almost daily basis. They say it’s for “space tourism” but we all know that it’s to save themselves from the defiled planet the rest of us have as our only residence. Back on terra firma, the vaccination rate in the US has stalled as many of the former leader’s followers apparently would rather die than upset him or accept that they are in a cult. These are generally the same people who continuously spout the same tired and false claims about taxation, voter fraud, and health care. As such, your host believes that there’s only one person who can save these lost souls from certain damnation. Tune in to find out who it is. Also, it’s time to retire the emu from selling insurance.

This week’s rants also hit on some of the recurring themes, including voting rights in Texas, gun violence and the language of violence in a violent society, and the pandemic. Other rants hit a little closer to home with ones about children who want dessert for breakfast, dealing with contractors who won’t show up to the job, and a heartwarming story of a husband who knows that the less said about his spouse’s shopping habits the better.

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

New episodes arrive every Wednesday.

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#49 - Jeff Bezos Is An Evil Overlord Jul 14, 2021

Show notes

Three billionaires are currently in a race to get to space, of course there’s nothing more pressing to the people of earth right now than to have the news spend a Sunday morning talking about it. In a time when people are having trouble paying for healthcare or a house, we have the news giving us commercials for something only rich people can do. It’s conflicting, because while space exploration is important, this is such a weird time for this to happen. When we have a cracked system from the pandemic it’s Virgins vs Amazons dominating the Sunday news cycle. But hey! With any luck, a petition to keep at least one of the evil overlords in space could help us out, right?

Meanwhile, on the ground people are still fighting science. Both with the vaccine to bring the pandemic to its knees or the fact that half of the US is on fire because of climate change. Lewis is considering turning the articles he reads about it in to his act, just a reading the facts to get chuckles.

The rants this week continue to explore people’s anger toward what it means to act like an American and degradation of what it means to fly the flag these days. The simple lack of respect people have when it comes to returning a shipping cart where they belong. The growing disdain for how bosses are treating their employees, whether it be blue collar work or on the healthcare frontlines; one in particular hitting Lewis personally as it relates to care for the elderly. A military vet who feels the current military has become soft. Ending with a rant about how the politicization of the COVID vaccines have divided families.

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

New episodes arrive every Wednesday.

SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS

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#48 - The Dogs Get Depressed Jul 07, 2021

Show notes

Since the founding of the Republican party in the mid-1850s, politics has been dominated by a two-party system that clearly isn’t working too well anymore. Third parties have been tried before, from Teddy Roosevelt’s Bull Moose Party to Strom Thurmond’s Dixiecrats to Ross Perot’s Reform party to current incarnations like the Libertarian Party and the Green Party. None have achieved much lasting electoral success. So, given the current state of American politics, the time may now be right for the Rubber Chicken Party. The RCP has one platform: empathy for the citizenry. While many human elected officials seem to only have empathy for corporations, a legislative branch of rubber chickens will definitely have more compassion for the people, and will be better equipped to represent the voters rather than multinational corporations. Never mind a chicken in every pot, it’s time for a rubber chicken in every seat in Congress! (As an aside, it was not Huey Long, or Herbert Hoover who first said, “a chicken in every pot”. At his coronation in 1589, French King Henry IV vowed that he would make the peasants of France so prosperous that each would, “have a chicken in his pot on Sunday.”)

Our elected leaders could also take an empathy lesson from the search dogs at the site of the collapsed Champlain Towers South in Surfside, FL. Many have become depressed because after long hours of searching, they are not finding living people. If we can’t wait for the advent of the RCP, the least we could do is send our Representatives and Senators (and some Governors too) to Florida to take lessons on how to act with empathy, with reverence for the humanity in all our fellow humans. The alternative is more weeks where the cascade of news brings stories like the Supreme Court celebrating Independence Day by making it harder for people to vote and Bill Cosby getting out of prison. We could take a lesson from the Germans, who, while also pulling their troops out of Afghanistan, have prioritized removing all of their alcohol before a single soldier returns home. This is a move that is both culturally sensitive and eminently practical. If we can learn from other humans, maybe we will get more stories like the fact that the name Karen has plummeted in the baby name rankings. And that’s having empathy for your child, which is a good place to start.

The pandemic has broken many things about our society and as we emerge from its ravages, we are all acting a little strange. For instance, your host has taken to watching soccer as he needs the distraction and dreams of a European Vacation. And if the rants this week are any indication, the ability to handle interpersonal communications has greatly diminished. As such, we have submissions about working in customer escalations, calling customer support, doctors who don’t keep their appointments, and dealing with government bureaucracy. Plus, a rant about how living in Switzerland has made one ex-pat want to simultaneously be a capitalist and kill all the capitalists. It’s a great summation of the paradox of our times.

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS

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#47 - Stopping Voter Frogs Jun 30, 2021

Show notes

Do you follow @TheLewisBlack on Twitter? If not, you may have missed one of his recent posts about the irony of Senate Republicans voting to not vote about voting rights, thereby killing (for now) HR 1. The usual reactionary backlash emerged as some in the Twitterverse did not get the joke, or were under the impression that what Lewis says has an actual impact on what happens in the halls of Congress. The point was that if it’s so important to Republicans that this not become the law of the land, they could do the citizenry the favor of actually debating the issue, giving their side of the argument and outlining exactly what they think will happen if the law passes. Instead we got Grand Guignol political theater, minus the visible puppet strings.

The Rantcast was on vacation last week as Lewis ventured south to check in on his mom, and to visit his alma mater, the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. UNC has been in the news lately as the board of trustees intervened in the hiring of Nikole Hannah-Jones to be a tenured professor in the university’s School of Journalism and Media. Some of the trustees were upset with Ms. Hannah-Jones involvement in the Pulitzer-prize winning 1619 Project, which reframed American history with the origins and consequences of slavery as its centering theme. This is an academic debate that should be left to the academic community to engage with, and whether they eventually give her tenure or not, the history will get told with or without the support of the UNC Trustees. [Breaking news: The Board of Trustees will hold a vote on tenure for Ms. Hannah-Jones on June 30th.]

Much more happened this week, especially in the world of academia, but the big news is that Lewis will be performing live, for the first time since the start of the Pandemic, at the Chautauqua Institution. So, if you’re in the middle of very rural upstate New York on Monday, July 26th, check it out.

While one of the ranters this week has been disappointed by Lewis’ occasional failure to pronounce words correctly, he nails the hard ones in what is almost certainly the first rant from Iceland. Not everyone is so critical as another submission describes the importance of the Rantcast to the listener’s mental health. Also we have rants about how recipes always leave out one crucial step, waiting on hold for 175 minutes with customer service, online shopping, and more.

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

New episodes arrive every Wednesday.

SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS

www.lewisblack.com/live

SUBSCRIBE TO THE RANTCAST

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FOLLOW LEWIS

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