Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

Latest Episodes:

190: Serving and Generosity with Steven Argue Sep 07, 2020

Show notes

Instilling the concept of service and generosity is one of the most impactful things that we do in the formation of our children's character. It is something that definitely must be started in the home and not just at church. Steven Argue talks to us about the practical strategies that will help grow a heart of service and generosity in our children to ultimately make it a way of life.

Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway.

189: Teaching Children HOW to Think with Virgil Tanner Aug 30, 2020

Show notes

Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway.

Virgil Tanner has been married for 20 years and is a father of four. He has lived on three continents and currently oversees strategy and global operations for a non-profit with hundreds of staff scattered all over the world.

For our kids' entire lives, they are going to be confronted by societal complexities that need both the lens of the Gospel and an engaged brain for them to be able to face these issues properly.

Virgil and his family have lived everywhere from Nashville to Central Asia and Spain. Because of this, his kids have been exposed to several cultures and have become discerning of what in those cultures are not applicable to their own beliefs.

As parents, we should aim to equip our children to hold their own and think clearly, especially when they set out on their own into an environment where everyone is screaming and nobody is thinking carefully before they talk.

Keep in mind that it's not a point of inculcating your own beliefs or opinions on your children, but make them strong enough to think and reason out on their own.

Identity plays a big role in your child's decision making. If they know who they are and have a strong sense of self, some decisions will come easy. If they know their values and what they stand for, they will also know what is worth their time and energy.

Another useful skill you can teach your children to do is to simply notice. See and notice without the need to make an evaluation right away, with the understanding that there are things they do not understand, and notice what they feel about something, and why.

The problems our children will encounter in their lives will involve sin. Virgil explains, in the Biblical approach, the primary location of the sin is in the individual human heart, with echoes in the collective and in the systems that humans build.

Locating where the evil is in their hearts will empower your children to do something about what is in their locus of control. Let them realize that their actions are under their control and not a result of someone else's actions. They have agency.

Get your kids used to the idea of having conversations, not conflicts. Talk to them about the differences between a conversation and a conflict. If there is a winner and a loser at the end, it's not a conversation. If anyone's yelling, it's not a conversation. Conversations are all about understanding each other.

Resources Mentioned

The Christian Parenting Podcast Network on www.christianparenting.org
Things for Thursday and free e-book: Text THINGS to 66866
Previous episode: 186: Leadership Development at Home with Virgil Tanner
Virgil's Youtube Channel: Virgil Tanner
A couple of my favorite videos from Virgil: Lower the Bar & Making Room for Grief and Lament

188: Tending your soul with Jim O'Neill Aug 23, 2020

Show notes

In a world of unrelenting demands, it can be very easy to spend all of our focus on work and the needs of our children. This laser focus can come at the cost of our own spiritual health, which will then damage every other area of our life. My guest today has spent decades observing the effects of spiritual neglect on the mission field as well as home front. One of his central life callings has been to help those serving in full time ministry tend to the nurturing of their own souls. I'm excited to share with you today a brilliant man whom I also call friend, Dr. Jim O'Neill.

Jim O'Neill serves as Director of Mobilization and Leadership Development at Frontier Ventures. Additionally, he and his wife Sterling are the founders of the Next Gen Leaders Conference.

Jim and and his wife Sterling have been married for over 38 years. They have 4 grown children, 3 son-in-laws and 4 grandkids. Jim hails from Pennsylvania and Sterling from SC. They met in college in VA. where both were called to missions. Serving together, they each come with 13 years of church planting experience in Asia, 13 years in leadership with two mission organizations, and 8 years ministering in formal theological education and equipping.

Because of their passion about multiplying and nurturing leaders, Jim and Sterling founded the Net Gen Leaders Conference. You can find out more at their website here.

187: I've got big news Aug 16, 2020

Show notes

This is an exciting week for me and the Let's Parent on Purpose Podcast as I am join the Christian Parenting Podcast Network!

Let's Parent on Purpose was birthed out of my burden to reach families in my local church. As a 20+ year student and family pastor, I realize that my inﬂuence pales in comparison to mom and dad. As I continue to pastor teenagers and shepherd children, every day I feel more convicted to pour into their parents. And while the podcast is focused on parents, the topics range from parenting to marriage to our personal spiritual walks. You just can't parent well if you're neglecting your marriage or relationship with Christ.

Parenting is really hard, and at every point we are encountering something else with which we are novices. I have loved hosting this podcast because the topics and guest sharpen me.

Now, by joining the Christian Parenting Podcast network LPOP is part of an even stronger parental support family, able to help more parents across the world with podcasts that directly deal with their parental, marriage, and spiritual needs.

As a biological and adoptive father of four, I have experienced such a wide range of challenges, emotions, failures, and victories. I've celebrated my newly adult daughter graduating high school with her Associates. I've also held her in my arms as a little girl and told her that Jesus took her mother to heaven. I've taken my boys on mission trips, and I've also begged God to spare my son's life as we learned he had leukemia. I've made my wedding vows, preached my wife's funeral, and then been graced with an amazing woman I've called my bride for more than 13 years now.

Through all of this, I've served in the church, been carried by the church, and known without a doubt that my family would not have made it without the support of Jesus through the love of the church. I know what it's like to feel lonely and helpless as a parent, and I know what it's like to feel loved and helped. Let's Parent on Purpose is a way for me to encourage moms and dads who are walking through their own unique parenting journey with Jesus.

We are better together, and there's nothing in this world that's a better investment of your time and energy than the treasures God has gifted you in your household!

Resources Mentioned

The Christian Parenting Podcast Network on www.christianparenting.org
Things for Thursday and free e-book: Text THINGS to 66866
Check out the past podcast archives of Let's Parent on Purpose

If you ﬁnd this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to ﬁnd past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called Things for Thursday and it includes things I've found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I ﬁnd funny! You can sign up for Things for Thursday by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

186: Leadership Development at Home with Virgil Tanner Aug 09, 2020

Show notes

Virgil Tanner, my good friend and one of the best leadership development gurus, talks about how to develop your children into leaders, right in your own house.

If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.

I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.

Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

Show Highlights

Virgil says, we have to “trigger-proof” our kids. You have to raise a child that can have bad things happen to them or people say mean things to them, and they are mature enough to walk away and be alright. If they are too easily triggered, they can’t become adults or effective leaders in the world today. Cultivate a thick skin and a soft heart.

Equip your children with the emotional vocabulary they need to express themselves and they can identify what’s going on with others and are able to address these with words, not by physically lashing out.

Develop young leaders with the 70-20-10 rule. Successful development is comprised of 70% experiences reflected upon; 20% guidance and input from other people like mentors, parents, friends; 10% content from books, videos, courses and other materials.

Our children will learn more from actual experience than from what other people say and from learning materials they can study. Talking to people about their experiences and giving them materials in support of their experiences can help double or triple their learning.

Your kids lives are full of experiences. Address difficult incidents in your child’s life and turn them into a learning experience with these questions: What? So what? Now what?

What. What happened?

So What. What was significant about it? How are you going to think about it?

Now What. What will you do next time you are in a situation like that?

As you have the conversation, notice the facts – what are the details of what happened? Discuss how these made you child feel. Finally, notice their contribution to the situation.

This focuses their attention on their locus of control. You and your child cannot control what will happen to them in the future, but they can change how they will act in any given situation.

These make for a magic conversation that will help make each experience a teachable moment for developing leaders.

You can't child-proof the world, so you have to build adults.
Click To Tweet